₦airaland Forum

murphyibiam15:
Lol..I said it, I knew it that you had some Islamic ideologies, I don't find it had to detect

Those are not Islamic ideologies. Islam did not introduce the concepts of either polygyny or divorce. They were the logical beliefs and practises of our ancestors all over the world long before Islam. In this case, Muslims just had the sense not to ban them; that's all. All religions with comprehensive societal rules must have some element of common sense in those rules. They wouldn't survive for long otherwise.

Ginaz:
Some people will just come and be writing rubbish . That’s how you give men the right to just do anyhow things and get away free.

Which man in his right senses would watch his girlfriend grow up with him with no dreams of her own or even if the lady doesn’t have dreams, he can’t build her up? That means the guy doesn’t care anyway and he is just using the girl for sex.

Girls I would advise you to follow men who have visions, aspirations and a future cos even if you were the most dumbest girl in the whole world, their dreams would rub off on you to make you become better.

Na only empty and wicked boyfriends na fit do that . They are building their lives , they know the girl isn’t making any steps to build hers but would hang around, f***k her for years only to dump her like a trash. If she didn’t have plans, why not leave her ? Why hang around and use her and dump her? It’s very painful .

There is no excuse whatever in the planet that justifies that. It’s very painful and I sympathize with any lady facing this situation.

The man simply would have left her since she wasn’t good enough than to dump her at the last minute.

Checking the OP's profile picture and signature, you'll just know she posted opposite of what she is. They post to gather likes, and nothing more.
Don't bother yourself sis, this is just copy and paste.

Ginaz:
Some people will just come and be writing rubbish . That’s how you give men the right to just do anyhow things and get away free.

Which man in his right senses would watch his girlfriend grow up with him with no dreams of her own or even if the lady doesn’t have dreams, he can’t build her up? That means the guy doesn’t care anyway and he is just using the girl for sex.

Girls I would advise you to follow men who have visions, aspirations and a future cos even if you were the most dumbest girl in the whole world, their dreams would rub off on you to make you become better.

Na only empty and wicked boyfriends na fit do that . They are building their lives , they know the girl isn’t making any steps to build hers but would hang around, f***k her for years only to dump her like a trash. If she didn’t have plans, why not leave her ? Why hang around and use her and dump her? It’s very painful .

There is no excuse whatever in the planet that justifies that. It’s very painful and I sympathize with any lady facing this situation.

The man simply would have left her since she wasn’t good enough than to dump her at the last minute.

How is it use and dump? Didn't they enjoy each other while having sex, wasn't d lady shout harder harder fukc me Bleep me hard.. So which one is use and dump again

Ginaz:
Please what I hate most is general misconceptions. It’s not every woman who did nothing while the man was hustling , some women literally did odd jobs , side hustles and other things to make their lives better .

Some went to school, really hustle as much as the man. I hate stupid talks like these , do you people think women are brainless and useless? Majority I see Omo, dem Dey hustle and their bfs broke like mad.

You guys should stop preaching what you don’t know . My mom’s friend is a hustler , singlehandedly paid for rent for those years the guy was broke and hustling , did one or two things for the ungrateful guy only for him to abscond with another girl . Wasted her youthful years for nothing.

As for now sef, I won’t advise any girl to put up with a guy for any reasons cos of statements like these.

Some mumu will just write up and come to say you only asked for Brazilian hairs and shoes like they knew you or stayed with you in the house to know that.

All the girls I Dey see for street dem Dey hustle . Dem be hustlers , they gat dreams. Stop the stereotype!!!!

Just as there are good for nothing men, there are good for nothing women too.

On a ratio of 80% , girls Dey hustle even in relationships.

The danger of the single story. Unfortunately, it is the norm with the narrow-minded.

RisenPhoenix:
Only broke men would like that.

Since I believe it is my job to provide for my family, now and in future after I'm gone; I prefer my wife to stay at home, beautify herself for me, and provide me with slutty sex when I want it; and take care of our children while I'm hustling. That's what I married for.

Of course being human and not a sex doll that can be kept in the cupboard when not in use, she can work and hustle for herself in her spare time if that's what keeps her from getting bored, or she can take up knitting or flower arranging or boxing or figure skating or telemundo watching; as long as she makes sure that she doesn't cheat, her activities don't affect our sex life, and our children's welfare is not compromised, I don't really care.

Salute .

Riele:
Be guided ,

I'm not a man hater !

You are. Your posts expose you.

CHoccolaTE:
What do you mean by "more value than a maid could add"?
So in addition to cooking and cleaning and taking care of children women are also under obligation to provide for men and be breadwinners too?

While all the men do is go off to work and return back to rest?

This thread addresses ladies. If there is a thread addressing men, I will address men as I have been doing. Having said that, nowhere have I stated ever that a man is only responsible for the finances and nothing more, neither do I want a man who has nothing else to offer than money. He must add more value to my life. I will do my part in adding value to his. Win win!

I dont think you even live in Nigeria, Nigeria where the average man tells himself he is too big to do housework and cooking so are women now supposed to handle the homefront also slit bills just to prove herself otherwise the man would be justified in leaving her because she contributed nothing?

You can complain about men till next year and I will join you but I will not pretend that women are helpless victims of a system they contribute to upholding by not having a life outside of their relationships/marriage and taking pride in being a Mrs, which in a society that values marriage so much is not even special.

Bahddo:
no one likes a burden. If she prefers to fold her arms and be carried along without making an effort to walk with him, he'd likely drop the burden at some point, especially when he realizes he deserves better. A relationship isn't a charity.

I'm yet to see a lady that will fold her hands, when an opportunity calls. Bro, give me an example please?

Choices differs. A guy might be eyeing an educationist, but then falls in love with a business woman. While forcing her to go to school, and she refuses, then you come to tell that she doesn't have vision? Or self-development?

Bro, you know what you want in a woman. Look for your type, your like, someone with same vision with you, and I don't think you'll force her into developing herself.

lavylilly:
So your man tells you he is not planning on having kids or getting married anytime soon as he is still sorting out his life... He tells you he wants to have his second degree, a proper house and a bigger car first. You sit there smiling with just a birth certificate thinking how 'lucky' a wife you'll be?
With the little he has, you ask for Brazilian hair and designer shoes. He goes to work and then straight to class after work. He leaves you in pyjamas in the morning and returns to find you in the same pyjamas in the evening. While he studies you watch 'African Magic' and 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians'. He comes back home to find pap and chicken in the microwave. The only serious conversation you ever have is about the type of groceries you guys need.

The only advice you give him is "Babe you need to buy a new pair of socks, the ones you bought last time are torn." Nothing intelligent comes out of your mouth. No plans of making your own life better. Yes you're are pretty but this days is all about what you are made off not beauty even pretty ladies don't marry handsome men if their pocket is empty, no doubt about that. But so is every second girl passing by.

Don't you realise that you're not doing anything a maid can't do? When he finishes studying, the first thing he will do is REPLACE HIS MAID. Because then he would be able to afford a maid and have a PROPER WIFE who has brains. That's when we are going hear your infamous last words, "I was with him through thick and thin when he had nothing, now that he is successful he thinks I am nothing."

Truth is, yes, you're right. You've always been NOTHING but a maid to him.

My dear, empower yourself to be the woman a successful man wants to be with... a woman who would be able to sustain her home if anything happens to his job or his health!

Good afternoon!

Gbam!!!!! op sleep with one eye open hence fourth feminist won't like thus

midnighter:
I understand all of that but what I disagree on is the act of CONCEALING your feelings.

This is why I said



The OP said that the guy noticed that his babe just watched tv in her pajamas all day. She did not mention anything about the guy VOICING HIS DISPLEASURE at that fact.

If you are in a relationship and the other person is losing their grip then you should be comfortable with telling them that theyre moving in the wrong direction. If they dont listen to you or refuse to act on your advice, you are free to go your way without guilt. You must not yolk yourself unequally with somebody out of some misplaced sense of loyalty when the person is clearly content going nowhere.

Not that you just look at them with a disapproving eye and go ahead and collect your pap and chicken from the microwave, sneaking and scheming in your mind about how you will find a better lady. That is passive-aggressive and unfair.

I don't think anyone can disagree with that but in life change happens gradually and goes unnoticed and until you realize that you have grown apart it is often too late to fix it.

The issue that I see here is that some women still operate on the idea that being a woman is enough to be rewarded the commitment of a man, and that supporting him in their own understanding of support is sufficient. They think that it is enough for showing-up, as opposed to showing up with something.

Meanwhile, many men no longer accept such deal, and wants their women to be out there in the field hustling and improving herself too.

The solution is to go for a partner that fits your bill. Housewives should look for traditional men, and modern man should look for modern women. Though in any case, self-improvement should be something everyone participates in, to change is to grow.

midnighter:
Thats exactly what I wanted to tell the lady who challenged OP. That anybody who is old enough to move in with a guy should use her tongue to count her teeth. Are you a baby that somebody needs to tell you to get a job or read a book?

BUT the problem is that nobody is perfect. If you claim to love somebody, you love them and their flaws. Your love should spur you on to help them in areas where they are failing. If you cant give somebody a simple suggestion or nudge in the right direction, then you do not love them. Simple.

You are actually the one who is being idealistic and not realistic. Do you think the perfect partner, without any preconceived notions, baggage, problems, failures, blind spots, irritating habits, irrationalities and idiosyncracies is going to fall into your lap, just like that

By the way "fix yourself before you get into a relationship" is not feasible. Fix yourself how Some people need to improve their organisational skills. Some people need to lose weight. Some people need to improve their cooking. Some people need to be less prone to anger.

So how do you know which of those characteristics will be the straw that breaks the camels back in your next relationship? If what youre saying were true, then no high-powered career men and women would divorce. No pastors would divorce either. Because being a classy lady or a successful man is all that matters right?

What if youve read all the books in the world, can speak 10 languages but are useless in the kitchen? And the man doesnt tell you he hates your food until he breaks up with you After how many years....thats rubbish my dear!

You shouldnt be making this about LADIES only because anybody starting out with a partner should enter expecting to help that person to be better. How can you claim to love somebody if you arent ready to do that

Do u av sense sha.. As in how did u sit down and type all this.. Una get time oo, see comment oo, not even a post, person post na hin u comment long like this...

Ishilove:
Poignant. However, not all women sit idly by when their man is broke and hustling. Be that as it may, just as there are scumbag men, there are also scummy women. How some women can comfortably bill a man for their expenses when they aren't aren't crippled always amazes me. Get up and work, add value to your family, relationship and the society so that egomanic misogynists will not come online to say rubbish about the womenfolk. A scummy man will still find an excuse to leave even if you work your fingers to the bone, but at least you will be able to beat your chest that you are an independent woman who was taken advantage of by a no good, rat soup eating son of a bitch. (Thank you, Dolemite).

Someone up there also said "after hoeing they go to the Gram to sell wigs and bags". Going by this statement, all IG hustlers at retired prostitutes?

*sigh* I need a break from NL. I can feel the stench of ignorance and toxic stupidity trying hard to overwhelm me.


On a side note: Feminism must be the most abused word in gender relations in Nigeria.

Ishlove shut up jare.. Ur own too much sef

Mindfulness:
I don't think anyone can disagree with that but in life change happens gradually and goes unnoticed and until you realize that you have grown apart it is often too late to fix it.

Yes, its unfortunate but it needs to be said which is why I supported Ginaz. You should constantly be monitoring the progress of the other person and if you dont like it, better say something quick instead of holding on out of emotion when you know you cant really move forward with them.

You are the one breaking up with the other person so you have the responsibility of being honest from the outset and not when its already late.

victorian:
Y'all have time arguing this topic every day.. I swear una get time.

Ladies! Work on yourselves, hustle, make your money, upgrade your lives. And in the process of it, don't manage or suffer with any broke guy, cause broke guys are just there to use y'all.
When uv tushed up yourself, your character, your career to a certain level, rich matured guys will come your way, and beg to spend the rest of their lives with you. They will make you feel like the princess you are.

Forget story that guys no longer spend or take care of their responsibilities. Some do. Forget about anyone saying your age is going, that's story of the birds. If your don't over use your body and u take good care of yourself, u will always look young and adorable.
I'm in my 30s, I date only rich guys. Not yahoo. But correct rich guys who struggled and made it to the top. If any rich guy I date and his character is zero I break up, I don't have time to teach a grown man how to be husband material. If you are not husband material from the day u start wooing me, and after checking your character for like a week! then forget it. Because I'm 1000% wife material and Ive paid my dues accordingly.
My man is 1000% husband material as well. He spends, he balls hard and works hard. And he's so amiable. His wealth doesn't get to his head. He has already given me my Xmas gift, a lovely bank alert. That's the beauty of dating a rich understanding guy. But it took me many years, to meet someone like him and I was patient. And I'm still patient. I will never ever date or marry broke guy., God forbid! I will never even marry a rich arrogant man who doesn't respect me , God forbid as well! I jump them pass!

So if you are patient babes and work towards your goal, u will get the best of men. That's what I told my best friend. I told her, Alhaja I must marry the best of men out there. My husband must be It! If not I'm not marrying.
She replied, insha Allah God will do it, I replied in Jesus name Amen.

And that's the truth. I ain't settling for less!

ok!!!

Notwithstanding, an ambitious man who's goal oriented and wants the best for himself will definitely not sit down without batting an eye while the lady is idle. He'll one way or the other illuminate her in such a way that she'll want to do more too, except for our slayqueens, who for whatever reason will prefer spending all their days on Instagram, basically to follow celebrities post up and down.

A friend of mine once told me that as a guy, it's important that you check the background of the girl you're intending on getting married to, so as to not end up in an acute liability for yourself. All these matters in picking the partner you're planning to spend the rest of your life with, else one will end up getting eternally frustrated.. LMAO

One of the best advice ever.

Mindfulness:
This thread addresses ladies. If there is a thread addre...............

So what country do you live?

Davash222:
When they’re done Hoeing, they turn to feminists and start to sell Bags, Wigs and Weavon on WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook. That’s their meaning of empowerment and Independent.
men are getting wiser now, Una go hear am!

So bro,for example..if the lady no study medicine or maybe law...what is she suppose to do outside doing business of sales in this nigeria?Cos your statement sounds like you're saying that,that business is shite!

Seems like someone came to borrow ur vagina to hoe ? If not I don’t understand how women hoeing with their own vagina is paining u . Even men are selling weave on nowadays . That u stupidly think women making a living selling items that a lot of people actually use is so shortsighted . Secondly men hoe - I a bigot misogynist like u will see no problem with that - thirdly people like u are more reason why feminism is so desperately needed - archaic , stupid ideas like what u just vomited here belong in d dustbin of history .

Davash222:
When they’re done Hoeing, they turn to feminists and start to sell Bags, Wigs and Weavon on WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook. That’s their meaning of empowerment and Independent.
men are getting wiser now, Una go hear am!

Davash222:
Why taking my post personal
I wasn’t talking to you directly. Don’t allow your guilty conscience to be playing pranks on you.

Shalom.

Yimu.

see him and see guilty conscience.

Abeg park well.

Ginaz:
She is wrong !!! Period!!! Pained about what exactly? Have you seen me before that you knew I was pained? Stop talking like a toddler just to make a senseless point.

Tell me d part where she was wrong? Even though what the OP said doesnt apply to all ladies, it however what some ladies do, the LOML inclusive of whom i av persistently adviced to pursue her MSc while i tried struggle to get a job as i graduated wit a gud grade. Dat aside, you should focus more on advising ladies rather than tackling men everytime u get d chance. Try lending ur voice to encourage women to be better than men so that in the long run, na women go dey pick guys to marry.

Teespice:
Better to be tagged a bag, wigs and weavon seller than to be known as a prostitute.

What TF do you lots want? I forgot, you swing wherever the wind blows.

Lol take it easy pls. Stop being very angry like this.

Too disingenuous to link the author on the OP?

Even though it’s trash

lavylilly:
Agreed

MedicH:
Lol take it easy pls. Stop being very angry like this.

I am not angry.

Its as if every time a handle that has "f" attached to her handle makes a post, you lots use it as an opportunity to cast aspersions and bully.

which one is take it easy. please shift to one corner.

for the umpteenth time I am asking, WTF do you people want?

Or11:
Lazy man . Found it in less than a minute. Oya let the breeze blow and open fowl yansh

https://www.nairaland.com/2794994/dear-girls

@lavlilly.

Anything for likes I guess:

This trash was even on Facebook by someone else last week.

Ginaz:
Please what I hate most is general misconceptions. It’s not every woman who did nothing while the man was hustling , some women literally did odd jobs , side hustles and other things to make their lives better .

Some went to school, really hustle as much as the man. I hate stupid talks like these , do you people think women are brainless and useless? Majority I see Omo, dem Dey hustle and their bfs broke like mad.

You guys should stop preaching what you don’t know . My mom’s friend is a hustler , singlehandedly paid for rent for those years the guy was broke and hustling , did one or two things for the ungrateful guy only for him to abscond with another girl . Wasted her youthful years for nothing.

As for now sef, I won’t advise any girl to put up with a guy for any reasons cos of statements like these.

Some mumu will just write up and come to say you only asked for Brazilian hairs and shoes like they knew you or stayed with you in the house to know that.

All the girls I Dey see for street dem Dey hustle . Dem be hustlers , they gat dreams. Stop the stereotype!!!!

Just as there are good for nothing men, there are good for nothing women too.

On a ratio of 80% , girls Dey hustle even in relationships.

Am very sure you are missing the point he is trying to make....Go back to that article ma

lavylilly:
So your man tells you he is not planning on having kids or getting married anytime soon as he is still sorting out his life... He tells you he wants to have his second degree, a proper house and a bigger car first. You sit there smiling with just a birth certificate thinking how 'lucky' a wife you'll be?
With the little he has, you ask for Brazilian hair and designer shoes. He goes to work and then straight to class after work. He leaves you in pyjamas in the morning and returns to find you in the same pyjamas in the evening. While he studies you watch 'African Magic' and 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians'. He comes back home to find pap and chicken in the microwave. The only serious conversation you ever have is about the type of groceries you guys need.

The only advice you give him is "Babe you need to buy a new pair of socks, the ones you bought last time are torn." Nothing intelligent comes out of your mouth. No plans of making your own life better. Yes you're are pretty but this days is all about what you are made off not beauty even pretty ladies don't marry handsome men if their pocket is empty, no doubt about that. But so is every second girl passing by.

Don't you realise that you're not doing anything a maid can't do? When he finishes studying, the first thing he will do is REPLACE HIS MAID. Because then he would be able to afford a maid and have a PROPER WIFE who has brains. That's when we are going hear your infamous last words, "I was with him through thick and thin when he had nothing, now that he is successful he thinks I am nothing."

Truth is, yes, you're right. You've always been NOTHING but a maid to him.

My dear, empower yourself to be the woman a successful man wants to be with... a woman who would be able to sustain her home if anything happens to his job or his health!

Good afternoon!

This is deep. Let she who has Ears listen.

Teespice:
I am not angry.

Its as if every time a handle that has "f" attached to her handle makes a post, you lots use it as an opportunity to cast aspersions and bully.

which one is take it easy. please shift to one corner.

for the umpteenth time I am asking, WTF do you people want?

Just my one cent advice.

CHoccolaTE:
So what country do you live?

Why does it matter?

Davash222:
When they’re done Hoeing, they turn to feminists and start to sell Bags, Wigs and Weavon on WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook. That’s their meaning of empowerment and Independent.
men are getting wiser now, Una go hear am!

There's nothing wrong in selling products on social media. Kylie Jenner became a billionaire doing just that. There's serious money in the beauty business, and it's not for the faint hearted.
Many of them earn more from selling their products on social media than they would ever earn with any bloody degree or office