₦airaland Forum

ngwababe:
How did you come to this conclusion?

It's funny how you guys talk like this, but , in every street, every road, offices, politics, you see women hustling. Our mothers, sisters, aunties are out there, helping their families and someone like you is telling me what?

Yes mom's, but not ladies you are all money sucking whores

Ginaz:
Some people will just come and be writing rubbish . That’s how you give men the right to just do anyhow things and get away free.

Which man in his right senses would watch his girlfriend grow up with him with no dreams of her own or even if the lady doesn’t have dreams, he can’t build her up? That means the guy doesn’t care anyway and he is just using the girl for sex.

Girls I would advise you to follow men who have visions, aspirations and a future cos even if you were the most dumbest girl in the whole world, their dreams would rub off on you to make you become better.

Na only empty and wicked boyfriends na fit do that . They are building their lives , they know the girl isn’t making any steps to build hers but would hang around, f***k her for years only to dump her like a trash. If she didn’t have plans, why not leave her ? Why hang around and use her and dump her? It’s very painful .

There is no excuse whatever in the planet that justifies that. It’s very painful and I sympathize with any lady facing this situation.

The man simply would have left her since she wasn’t good enough than to dump her at the last minute.

Interesting point of view

SIR0:
IMAGINE!
If a lady can stay with me through thick & thin, forget, nothing would make me abandon her except marital unfaithfulness. Even if she's an illiterate, she's worth all the love.

Call her any names you want,

I would rather choose Jonathan's marital life over Buhari's

Some mentality like OP's may only get a lady out of poverty but may not get her a blessed marital life

thank u for this because no one deserves to be treated like that. It's a relationship anyway so I see no reason why the man can't advice his partner if he feels she is not working hard enough.....I hope op is happy now as she succeeded in putting other females down. I can't even be mad the write up isn't hers sef.

lavylilly:
Sir, provide link to bck up your claims.

He's right. I've read this article in the past many times on different social networks. Don't come here to feel funky. This is plagiarism. Give credit to the owner next time.

RisenPhoenix:
Only broke men would like that.

Since I believe it is my job to provide for my family, now and in future after I'm gone; I prefer my wife to stay at home, beautify herself for me, and provide me with slutty sex when I want it; and take care of our children while I'm hustling. That's what I married for.

Of course being human and not a sex doll that can be kept in the cupboard when not in use, she can work and hustle for herself in her spare time if that's what keeps her from getting bored, or she can take up knitting or flower arranging or boxing or figure skating or telemundo watching; as long as she makes sure that she doesn't cheat, her activities don't affect our sex life, and our children's welfare is not compromised, I don't really care.

Very interesting

ngwababe:
I'm yet to see a lady that will fold her hands, when an opportunity calls. Bro, give me an example please?

Choices differs. A guy might be eyeing an educationist, but then falls in love with a business woman. While forcing her to go to school, and she refuses, then you come to tell that she doesn't have vision? Or self-development?

Bro, you know what you want in a woman. Look for your type, your like, someone with same vision with you, and I don't think you'll force her into developing herself.

Here's your example. Had to go dig for the thread.
https://www.nairaland.com/4835411/sent-n500k-fiancee-open-shop

Aunty was sponsored to a catering school and given half a million to open a shop. She spent it on 'family issues' instead.

Just knowing what you want is not enough. You also have to know what traits she has that fall under the umbrella of 'what you want'. That only comes from interaction and observation. In other words, you can't 'find your type' by watching from afar.

Traits like financial irresponsibility aren't written on the forehead, so you still have to spend some time with that burdensome partner before realizing it's hopeless to try to help them develop themselves or their careers.

That's why I totally understand when people choose to walk away from relationships they've spent some time in. Outsiders can scream 'you should have carried her/him along' all they want, as if they have a clue.

victorian:
Y'all have time arguing this topic every day.. I swear una get time.

Ladies! Work on yourselves, hustle, make your money, upgrade your lives. And in the process of it, don't manage or suffer with any broke guy, cause broke guys are just there to use y'all.
When uv tushed up yourself, your character, your career to a certain level, rich matured guys will come your way, and beg to spend the rest of their lives with you. They will make you feel like the princess you are.

Forget story that guys no longer spend or take care of their responsibilities. Some do. Forget about anyone saying your age is going, that's story of the birds. If your don't over use your body and u take good care of yourself, u will always look young and adorable.
I'm in my 30s, I date only rich guys. Not yahoo. But correct rich guys who struggled and made it to the top. If any rich guy I date and his character is zero I break up, I don't have time to teach a grown man how to be husband material. If you are not husband material from the day u start wooing me, and after checking your character for like a week! then forget it. Because I'm 1000% wife material and Ive paid my dues accordingly.
My man is 1000% husband material as well. He spends, he balls hard and works hard. And he's so amiable. His wealth doesn't get to his head. He has already given me my Xmas gift, a lovely bank alert. That's the beauty of dating a rich understanding guy. But it took me many years, to meet someone like him and I was patient. And I'm still patient. I will never ever date or marry broke guy., God forbid! I will never even marry a rich arrogant man who doesn't respect me , God forbid as well! I jump them pass!

So if you are patient babes and work towards your goal, u will get the best of men. That's what I told my best friend. I told her, Alhaja I must marry the best of men out there. My husband must be It! If not I'm not marrying.
She replied, insha Allah God will do it, I replied in Jesus name Amen.

And that's the truth. I ain't settling for less!

What was your Xmas gift for him please ma.

Hope it was as good as what he gave you ma.

If not.....

Lightangel65:
Yes mom's, but not ladies you are all money sucking whores

Maybe, na men dey turn to mums.

Bahddo:
Here's your example. Had to go dig for the thread.
https://www.nairaland.com/4835411/sent-n500k-fiancee-open-shop

Aunty was sponsored to a catering school and given half a million to open a shop. She spent it on 'family issues' instead.

Just knowing what you want is not enough. You also have to know what traits she has that fall under the umbrella of 'what you want'. That only comes from interaction and observation. In other words, you can't 'find your type' by watching from afar.

Traits like financial irresponsibility aren't written on the forehead, so you still have to spend some time with that burdensome partner before realizing it's hopeless to try to help them develop themselves or their careers.

That's why I totally understand when people choose to walk away from relationships they've spent some time in. Outsiders can scream 'you should have carried her/him along' all they want, as if they have a clue.

Then, do not stay with her for so long. A year or two can make one see reasons on whether to stay or not. Don't waste no one time.

Goddeywithme:
What was your Xmas gift for him please ma.

Hope it was as good as what he gave you ma.

If not.....

I thought of buying him a designer wristwatch but he has 5 expensive designer watches.
I thought of perfume, he has some collections of designer perfs. He even gave me two out of his collections .
Then he made a transfer of 100k for my Xmas celebration!
In a split second! I was like wow!

It's good to date a real man who knows the value of spoiling his love with gifts and money.

Hmm I'm thinking of gifting him designer shoes. Even though he made it clear, all he wants is my loyalty . That's all he needs from me.
And I solemnly swear I will be faithful

But I will still buy those pair of designer shoes next week and gift him. He deserves it.

ngwababe:
Then, do not stay with her for so long. A year or two can make one see reasons on whether to stay or not. Don't waste no one time.

two months might even be enough for people to see deal breakers in partners or potential partners and take a walk. Some others take much longer. Some keep hoping things would change until they realize it would never, mostly because too many persons pretend to be what they are not.

It's not really in our place to decide when a person should decide to take a walk, or what constitutes a waste of time in another person's relationship. Nothing prevents the lady whose time is being 'wasted' from walking away early on, seeing as her partner wants someone she isn't.

Also we don't accuse a lady of wasting the guy's time when she wakes up (after lots of investment in her education or career) and decides he is no longer good enough for her. Let's keep the same energy please.

Bahddo:
two months might even be enough for people to see deal breakers in partners or potential partners and take a walk. Some others take much longer. Some keep hoping things would change until they realize it would never, mostly because too many persons pretend to be what they are not.

It's not really in our place to decide when a person should decide to take a walk, or what constitutes a waste of time in another person's relationship. Nothing prevents the lady whose time is being 'wasted' from walking away early on, seeing as her partner wants someone she isn't.

Also we don't accuse a lady of wasting the guy's time when she wakes up (after lots of investment in her education or career) and decides he is no longer good enough for her. Let's keep the same energy please.

We're on same page bro. But coming out to lay the whole blames on ladies, that's unfair na.

I believe this self-development whatever, is a two-way thing. We need each other to grow in life, nobody has ever done it alone. Thank you.

ngwababe:
We're on same page bro. But coming out to lay the whole blames on ladies, that's unfair na.

I believe this self-development whatever, is a two-way thing. We need each other to grow in life, nobody has ever done it alone. Thank you.

in my opinion, the thread isn't out to lay all the blame on the women, but to remind some to quit playing the victim card and realize they shouldn't expect the man who ticks all her boxes to not want a woman who ticks all his boxes too.

That's fair enough.

lavylilly:
So your man tells you he is not planning on having kids or getting married anytime soon as he is still sorting out his life... He tells you he wants to have his second degree, a proper house and a bigger car first. You sit there smiling with just a birth certificate thinking how 'lucky' a wife you'll be?
With the little he has, you ask for Brazilian hair and designer shoes. He goes to work and then straight to class after work. He leaves you in pyjamas in the morning and returns to find you in the same pyjamas in the evening. While he studies you watch 'African Magic' and 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians'. He comes back home to find pap and chicken in the microwave. The only serious conversation you ever have is about the type of groceries you guys need.

The only advice you give him is "Babe you need to buy a new pair of socks, the ones you bought last time are torn." Nothing intelligent comes out of your mouth. No plans of making your own life better. Yes you're are pretty but this days is all about what you are made off not beauty even pretty ladies don't marry handsome men if their pocket is empty, no doubt about that. But so is every second girl passing by.

Don't you realise that you're not doing anything a maid can't do? When he finishes studying, the first thing he will do is REPLACE HIS MAID. Because then he would be able to afford a maid and have a PROPER WIFE who has brains. That's when we are going hear your infamous last words, "I was with him through thick and thin when he had nothing, now that he is successful he thinks I am nothing."

Truth is, yes, you're right. You've always been NOTHING but a maid to him.

My dear, empower yourself to be the woman a successful man wants to be with... a woman who would be able to sustain her home if anything happens to his job or his health!

Good afternoon!

Eye service. Make wetin for happen?
The men you're speaking for, how many of them have a bearing? How many are living up to their responsibilities?

Forget all the million likes you got. Men have just ceased to be men especially here on Nairaland. And in the beginning it was not so.
My happiness is that we still have real MEN and I'll find me one.

Is Davido not a man? How many work Chioma dey do?
Is Ned Nwoko not a man? He has six wives and he's taking good care of them.

Are P square, Timi dakolo, Akpororo, Akpos and Basket mouth and "i go die" not men who strive to become the provider of their homes? What do their wifes do? Or What did their spouses do to make them? They made themselves by the grace of God

Instead of you to pray that God should restore men's place in the home as the provider, you're here doing eye service.

A man, is suppose to be capable of taking care of his households whether or not the woman is working.
Thank God we still have good examples of men who still know their place and are working hard to retain it. Not the sissies we have all over Nairaland.

What the OP wrote is true and applies to both sexes too.

Ideally, love should conquer all, no matter what. Stay with each other, no matter what. This is the ideal. God will help us keep this ideal.

But truth is, in our world today, what the OP wrote is at the heart of many troubled marriages.

20 friends cannot play together for 20 years. We see this problem affect many friendships and bonds. If one friend is growing and the other is not, things begin to unravel and many times they find out they do not have many things in common anymore and begin to see less and less of themselves.

Same applies to marriage. He may still be there for you in the marriage but if he has to come down many notches to your level in many areas of life he is likely to tire out and mentally check out, many times unwittingly and unconsciously.

The wisdom is, as the man or woman rises, let the other couple push him or herself too to remain relevant. If not, K-leg or disenchantment might enter the marriage.

Always develop yourself to match the level of your spouse, so you can have things to talk about and you can challenge each other to greater heights.

For those using GEJ and Mama Peace example, Mama Peace is relevant to GEJ in every facet. GEJ is not a politician, she is. GEJ is not bold nor courageous nor ambitious. She is all three. She is GEJ's motivation. Motivation, they say, is like taking your bath. It's something you need every day. GEJ needs Mama Peace.

Many of the women attacking the OP will look down on their husbands and deny him respect without batting an eye lead if he is not doing well financially for too long and will treat him worse so, if they are doing much better than him or carrying a larger percentage of the family burden than they are wont to.

Always develop yourself. Take responsibility for your development. Don't wait for your husband or wife. If they encourage you great, if they don't, drive yourself! No dulling.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6n2aATnE2k?list=PLPBR0JOm686hZL9g_Xa294DMbpb8uakLP

victorian:
I thought of buying him a designer wristwatch but he has 5 expensive designer watches.
I thought of perfume, he has some collections of designer perfs. He even gave me two out of his collections .
Then he made a transfer of 100k for my Xmas celebration!
In a split second! I was like wow!

It's good to date a real man who knows the value of spoiling his love with gifts and money.

Hmm I'm thinking of gifting him designer shoes. Even though he made it clear, all he wants is my loyalty . That's all he needs from me.
And I solemnly swear I will be faithful

But I will still buy those pair of designer shoes next week and gift him. He deserves it.

Believe me Dear, you are a rare find and your man is such a lucky guy.
Wow! That solemn pledge.
Wishing you both the very best of the future together.
Merry Christmas

Bahddo:
in my opinion, the thread isn't out to lay all the blame on the women, but to remind some to quit playing the victim card and realize they shouldn't expect the man who ticks all her boxes to not want a woman who ticks all his boxes too.

That's fair enough.

If you tick all my boxes, I'm staying with you. If however, I don't tick all your boxes, it's left for you to leave.
You should leave and do it early enough and not use them, if you were honorable enough.

Ginaz:
Please what I hate most is general misconceptions. It’s not every woman who did nothing while the man was hustling , some women literally did odd jobs , side hustles and other things to make their lives better .

Some went to school, really hustle as much as the man. I hate stupid talks like these , do you people think women are brainless and useless? Majority I see Omo, dem Dey hustle and their bfs broke like mad.

You guys should stop preaching what you don’t know . My mom’s friend is a hustler , singlehandedly paid for rent for those years the guy was broke and hustling , did one or two things for the ungrateful guy only for him to abscond with another girl . Wasted her youthful years for nothing.

As for now sef, I won’t advise any girl to put up with a guy for any reasons cos of statements like these.

Some mumu will just write up and come to say you only asked for Brazilian hairs and shoes like they knew you or stayed with you in the house to know that.

All the girls I Dey see for street dem Dey hustle . Dem be hustlers , they gat dreams. Stop the stereotype!!!!

Just as there are good for nothing men, there are good for nothing women too.

On a ratio of 80% , girls Dey hustle even in relationships.

u hate generalisation yet u are speaking for 80% of women....well done women leader....next time try be alil wiser by speaking for urself cos from your write up there no place u wrote were u are or how u are an hustler aswell.

lavylilly:
Sir, provide link to bck up your claims.

You have acted dishonorably by copying other people's article and claiming it as yours. That is the same thing as stealing.
You even have the guts to lie and ask for links when called out.
You, my dear need to develop yourself to a better person

midnighter:
You are not saying the right thing; if somebody you claim to love is lacking in drive or ambition then why wouldnt you encourage her to develop herself?

Why continue sleeping with her and entertaining her if you know she is stagnating? If you suggest it to her and she refuses its different.

This advice also applies to men btw. Taking his money, time, affection but secretly planning a coup with another guy because "hes not exposed" is just wickedness.

Wen I see things like D's it totally piss me off....am for one is a good example of a guy u are referring to . ..and wat did I get at d end
I can never in my life do wat u advising cos av come to realise once isn't self driven by d lady is just a total waste...u can't force anyone to be successful never.... some people are just not worth trying for trust me both male/female.

Godoverevery:
u hate generalisation yet u are speaking for 80% of women....well done women leader....next time try be alil wiser by speaking for urself cos from your write up there no place u wrote were u are or how u are an hustler aswell.

She's not speaking for all women, hence there is no generalisation. However, I agree with her that majority of women work and hustle hard.
For those who have graduated, many are out there doing their own hustle as I see them in banks, hospitals, markets, on social media selling their goods and services (make up, catering, bags and wigs, etc), etc.
Even those who didnt go to school have their own skilled businesses like tailoring, hair dressing, etc.

I knew some girls will foom about this but you just said a good advice to them

eyinjuege:
She's not speaking for all women, hence there is no generalisation. However, I agree with her that majority of women work and hustle hard.
For those who have graduated, many are out there doing their own hustle as I see them in banks, hospitals, markets, on social media selling their goods and services (make up, catering, bags and wigs, etc), etc.
Even those who didnt go to school have their own skilled businesses like tailoring, hair dressing, etc.

Dat where u get the point wrong.....most of dem hustle but are dey not still demanding for irrelevant things from there guys??
Are most them contented with wat dey got??
Ds is Xmas season do u no how many ladies av practically beg me for money with different excuses??.
D major problems most guys are having with ladies today is wat dey demand for...trust me I have lot of experience in D's regard
let give a lil example.....my fiancee came to see over last weekend...Wen she was leaving very Monday morning....I gave a thousand naira as tfare I saw d look on face change but I felt maybe she thinking I shouldn't av given since I wasn't dat cash up but to my amazement dat evening she actually told me she was disappointed with wat I gave her dat she was embarrassed dat it was too small .....I was really shocked and angry cos D's someone dat comes and I gave 5k sometimes for tfare.....dat was my first time of giving her 1k and she complained.
ds someone dat has a pretty good job.....till now I av completely changed towards her.

Godoverevery:
Dat where u get the point wrong.....most of dem hustle but are dey not still demanding for irrelevant things from there guys??
Are most them contented with wat dey got??
Ds is Xmas season do u no how many ladies av practically beg me for money with different excuses??.
D major problems most guys are having with ladies today is wat dey demand for...trust me I have lot of experience in D's regard

Are their so called guys even as rich as the women are in the first place?
Of course, when you go after students, they will always demand for things, so remove students from the list and concentrate on those who are out of school, or are old enough to have a skill/full time job. Male Nigerian students too are always broke, so it's normal for students.
How much does your average Nigerian man earn? Dont forget the poverty in the land. Many Nigerian men are also very broke, same as the women. They don't have any money to give any woman.
For the women working, you'll be surprised that a high % of them are the ones sponsoring their men, but the world will never hear of it because the world will look down on such families/relationships.
I know this is christmas period, but do you also know how many men have begged me for money under different excuses?
Why do you all think men also don't beg women for money? Male junior coworkers beg their female seniors for money, many men go around saying they're looking for money to pay their wife or child's hospital bills or school fees or house rent. Na today men dey beg women for money?
Especially single girls are the targets of some of these men, as they think they don't have any responsibility yet.

ngwababe:
Maybe, na men dey turn to mums.

Mum's from old times, the whores we have now can't turn moms

Good plan you have there. Thanks ma'am

One line in your comment caught my eye. You said he is a man who knows how to spoil his woman. And it seems you enjoy that. Which is excellent.

Just remember men like to be spoilt too (I know you have plans to do that).

You see, I am a man who loves and respects women as my equal. This has made me to enjoy the best of women. It has also meant I have no time for a woman who has entitlement mentality, who believes in equality of power but not equality of responsibilities. I believe women are equal to men, in power and in responsibilities.

From your past two comments, it seems to me you are a rare woman. You know what you want. You go for it. You treat men as your equal, in power and in responsibilities. THAT IS RARE. Kudos to you.

I hope young Nigerian ladies will learn from you. You are an inspiration.

victorian:
I thought of buying him a designer wristwatch but he has 5 expensive designer watches.
I thought of perfume, he has some collections of designer perfs. He even gave me two out of his collections .
Then he made a transfer of 100k for my Xmas celebration!
In a split second! I was like wow!

It's good to date a real man who knows the value of spoiling his love with gifts and money.

Hmm I'm thinking of gifting him designer shoes. Even though he made it clear, all he wants is my loyalty . That's all he needs from me.
And I solemnly swear I will be faithful

But I will still buy those pair of designer shoes next week and gift him. He deserves it.

Godoverevery:
Dat where u get the point wrong.....most of dem hustle but are dey not still demanding for irrelevant things from there guys??
Are most them contented with wat dey got??
Ds is Xmas season do u no how many ladies av practically beg me for money with different excuses??.
D major problems most guys are having with ladies today is wat dey demand for...trust me I have lot of experience in D's regard
let give a lil example.....my fiancee came to see over last weekend...Wen she was leaving very Monday morning....I gave a thousand naira as tfare I saw d look on face change but I felt maybe she thinking I shouldn't av given since I wasn't dat cash up but to my amazement dat evening she actually told me she was disappointed with wat I gave her dat she was embarrassed dat it was too small .....I was really shocked and angry cos D's someone dat comes and I gave 5k sometimes for tfare.....dat was my first time of giving her 1k and she complained.
ds someone dat has a pretty good job.....till now I av completely changed towards her.

You are a big time lier, which working women are richer than men? Which men are begging money from working women? The junior and senior colleagues bullshit you wrote applies on females, even if a woman earns more than a man, they still beg like hungry leeches.

Only few men are gigilos.

It is when a man has no job that a woman can help and sometimes they don't even care and last I checked there are more men employed than women.

Godoverevery:
Wen I see things like D's it totally piss me off....am for one is a good example of a guy u are referring to . ..and wat did I get at d end
I can never in my life do wat u advising cos av come to realise once isn't self driven by d lady is just a total waste...u can't force anyone to be successful never.... some people are just not worth trying for trust me both male/female.

It hurts to see somebody you love backslide into mediocrity but that doesnt mean that you didnt do the right thing by advising her.

Riele:
Ofcourse , these is the kind of thread empty male barrels would love to read !


For all i know , Most men are trash !

Speak for people in your life alone.
Maybe you're just very unlucky.

This are the kind of write-ups people come up with when they are deluded to thinking they are filled with wisdom