Why do we have to teach little girls to go through unbearable pain for so-called beauty even when they are only a few months old?


I get so upset each time I see a little girl crying for hours unending at the salon while they pull, poke and prod her hair. The moms would actually be the ones holding the girls down while the hairdressers harden their hearts to the children's tears. I always wonder, what exactly are you trying to achieve by putting your child through so much pain just to have her sporting a few awkward-looking weaves? Since she's not old enough to decide that this is what she wants, she shouldn't be stressed and hurt just to look pretty. Are they looking for suitors? Do they have to start so early to stress to impress?


With her natural hair, well-oiled, combed and packed nicely into buns or tails, she'll still be the beautiful princess you gave birth to. I really hate children being put through any sort of skin pain. When my son was a baby, he was fussy about getting his hair cut, so much that we used to wait till he was deeply asleep before clipping his hair. Sometimes we'd only manage to go halfway, but we'll leave it like that until he sleeps again.


How do fathers permit this? When we were growing up, my dad would personally insist on the hairdresser coming to our place to braid so he could sternly warn her to go easy on our heads. When he saw that we still cried regardless, he had them cut off all our hair . We hated it then, but at least the gut-wrenching crying stopped.

Some little girls would be sick for days from the tight, skin-breaking braids their mothers would allow someone to put on their heads.

I remember a day I was getting a manicure at the salon, a little girl whose mom had dropped her off was getting hair done at the corner. She cried so much that after a while, there were no tears left to shed. Her irresponsible mother came back after a while and said, "Obego nke izizi?" As in, "Has she cried the first round?"

Just imagine.

Mothers please, this festive period, if your daughter hasn't been tortured yet, kindly look for something that won't cause her any pain and have them style her hair with it (shown in the second photo). She's beautiful however she looks. You're not in a competition with anybody to have the finest child. That's how they'll grow up to believe that they can never be beautiful without weaves and braids.

I agree, but this isn’t true for all hair textures. For some hair textures it’s better the kid goes through the ‘pain’ once a week than a daily torture of styling.

Edit: some monikers have an issue with my ‘pain’ in quote. For some hair textures, any hair style including a short haircut will always cause some sort of pain for the child. So, if the kid wants to keep her hair and the mother obliges, cornrows/braids done by a good braider once/twice a week is the best option for the mother and child. The examples in the OP is not true for all hair textures.

doitforyou:
I agree, but this isn’t true for all hair textures. For some hair textures it’s better the kid goes through the pain once a week than a daily torture of styling.

She should never go throw any pain at all until she's old enough to decide that she wants to do it.

And by old enough, I mean 18.

Modified: most ladies on this thread are misunderstanding the point. The point of the article is not packing hair into buns or braiding, but braiding without pain! Yes, they can pick her hair gently so she won't cry like she's being operated on without anaesthesia.

Your comments all over the thread are about maintenance. While maintaining buns and tails can be hard sometimes, it's better to use all that money you'll spend on attachments and paying hairdressers to buy good conditioners and Shea butter that will soften the stubbornest hair types, so it can combed easily. I have a friend who styles her two daughters' buns in less than ten minutes.


Even cornrows and simple Bob Marley can be done without pulling the girl so much.

There's no excuse for causing a little girl any pain. No excuse at all.

computergeek:
She should never go throw any pain at all until she's old enough to decide that she wants to do it.

And by old enough, I mean 18.

Well, with some hair textures there will always be some sort of pain when styling, so a parent makes a judgement call, once a week or daily struggle. The style in the second pic is not realistic for some textures of black hair to maintain everyday.

P.S. I am talking about regular cornrows/braids etc for school.

Gone are the days of those Old women's.
Once she opens her laps and put your head within and pit it, mehn, your head will never be yours again till she finish the plating.
Even you that escort your sister to the place go dey one side dey pity and cry for her.

Short cut all the way. If I have a girl, that's going to be the style for her at least from 6 months - 11 years.
Braided hair is painful.

I like it when girls are on buns!

doitforyou:

Well, with some hair textures there will always be some sort of pain when styling, so a parent makes a judgement call, once a week or daily struggle. The style in the second pic is not realistic for some textures of black hair to maintain everyday.

P.S. I am talking about regular cornrows/braids etc for school.

The style in the second picture is very much realistic regardless of hair texture and pain is not sth. that should be felt at all, while braiding or even combing your hair. A lot of Nigerian hair dressers are too rough with hair.

In addition to what the op said, edges not should be braided and cornrows etc shouldn't be too tight

fieryy:


The style in the second picture is very much realistic regardless of hair texture and pain is not sth. that should be felt at all, while braiding or even combing your hair. A lot of Nigerian hair dressers are too rough with hair.

In addition to what the op said, edges should be braided and cornrows etc shouldn't be too tight

You just quoted me to type what I didn’t type.

First, I agreed with the OP but said it isn’t true for ALL hair textures. For some hair textures, the second pic is not realistic for DAILY maintenance, no matter the amount of hair products you use, it’s even more torturous to subject the child to that kind of pain every day before school. For some, except chopping the hair all off what is best for the child is to get a good braider with light hands to braid/cornrow the girl’s hair once a week.

My point, life isn’t black and white, there are some children with hair textures where styling can be a daily challenge. So, we shouldn’t judge all mothers who have children with cornrows and not a bun.

doitforyou:

You just quoted me to type what I didn’t type.

First, I agreed with the OP but said it isn’t true for ALL hair textures. For some hair textures, the second pic is not realistic for DAILY maintenance, no matter the amount of hair products you use, it’s even more torturous to subject the child to that kind of pain every day before school. For some, except chopping the hair all off what is best for the child is to get a good braider with light hands to braid/cornrow the girl’s hair once a week.

My point, life isn’t black and white, there are some children with hair textures where styling can be a daily challenge. So, we shouldn’t judge all mothers who have children with cornrows and not a bun.

The write-up isn't about style or unstyled. Cornrows can be done without pain for school.

No one is judging anyone, the point is that no responsible mom should sit and watch her daughter endure pain for hours to look stylish with these over-do hairstyles.

It has no go-around. No justification for letting your daughter cry and fall sick because of hair.


Shave the darned thing off till she's grown up.

doitforyou:

You just quoted me to type what I didn’t type.

First, I agreed with the OP but said it isn’t true for ALL hair textures. For some hair textures, the second pic is not realistic for DAILY maintenance, no matter the amount of hair products you use, it’s even more torturous to subject the child to that kind of pain every day before school. For some, except chopping the hair all off what is best for the child is to get a good braider with light hands to braid/cornrow the girl’s hair once a week.

My point, life isn’t black and white, there are some children with hair textures where styling can be a daily challenge. So, we shouldn’t judge all mothers who have children with cornrows and not a bun.

And I quoted you to tell you that the most kinky hair texture 4c, and the straightest 1a, and everything in between ARE ALL capable of being styled as a bun.

You literally just pack your hair up

fieryy:


And I quoted you to tell you that the most kinky hair texture 4c, and the straightest 1a, and everything in between ARE ALL capable of being styled as a bun.

You literally just pack your hair up

And you keep missing the “DAILY” in “daily maintenance”

doitforyou:

And you keep missing the “DAILY” in “daily maintenance.

Water, leave in and oil is all what you need. I packed my hair in a bun/puff almost everyday last year. The daily styling itself took me ca. 5 mins. What had really been time consuming was the weekly washing and conditioning

fieryy:


Water, leave in and oil is all what you need. I packed my hair in a bun/puff almost everyday last year. The daily styling itself took me ca. 5 mins. What had really been time consuming was the weekly washing and conditioning

That is YOUR hair! Are you going to tell me that ALL hair textures for a child is easy breezy to style every morning before school?

doitforyou:

That is YOUR hair! Are you going to tell me that ALL hair textures for a child is easy breezy to style every morning before school?

I am not attacking you, but simply correcting you. A bun is sth every hair texture is capable of doing. It is as simple as that.

Hair styles a parent decide for is none of my business, as long as the child does have to go through any kind of pain.

It does not matter if they choose to braid the child's hair weekly or pack it in a bun daily, styling your hair shouldn't be painful.

computergeek:
The write-up isn't about style or unstyled. Cornrows can be done without pain for school.

No one is judging anyone, the point is that no responsible mom should sit and watch her daughter endure pain for hours to look stylish with these over-do hairstyles.

It has no go-around. No justification for letting your daughter cry and fall sick because of hair.


Shave the darned thing off till she's grown up.

No sane person will disagree with what you just typed.

Again, for some, cornrows/braids once a week is the best option for both mother and child.

fieryy:


I am not attacking you, but simply correcting you. A bun is sth every hair texture is capable of doing. It is as simple as that.

Hair styles a parent decide for is none of my business, as long as the child does have to go through any kind of pain.

It does not matter if they choose to braid the child's hair weekly or pack it in a bun daily, styling your hair shouldn't be painful.

Were you attacking me?

Again for the umpteenth time you keep missing the “daily” in “daily maintenance”. Obviously all hair types can be styled in a bun, but you’re not being realistic if you think ALL hair textures can sustain a daily maintenance of a bun for an everyday before school prep.

If the child desires to keep her hair and her mother obliges, most sane mothers will always go the route of less pain and more manageable hairstyles for their children.

Virtue signalling want to start

doitforyou:

Were you attacking me?

Again for the umpteenth time you keep missing the “daily” in “daily maintenance”. Obviously all hair types can be styled in a bun, but you’re not being realistic if you think ALL hair textures can sustain a daily maintenance of a bun for an everyday before school prep.

If the child desires to keep her hair and her mother obliges, most sane mothers will always go the route of less pain and more manageable hairstyles for their children.

All textures can sustain a daily maintenance of a bun. I used mine as an example, but all you had to say was 'That's your hair'. Buns are one of the easiest low maintenance hair styles, especially for natural hair

fieryy:


All textures can sustain a daily maintenance of a bun. I used mine as an example, but all you had to say was 'That's your hair'. Buns are one of the easiest low maintenance hair styles, especially for natural hair

At bolded, lol really? Okay then.

Yea, generally one example is usually not good statistics.

doitforyou:

At bolded, lol really? Okay then.

Yea, generally one example is usually not good statistics.

Thank goodness, I'm not the only example then.

fieryy:


Thank goodness, I'm not the only example then.

doitforyou:

Were you attacking me?

Again for the umpteenth time you keep missing the “daily” in “daily maintenance”. Obviously all hair types can be styled in a bun, but you’re not being realistic if you think ALL hair textures can sustain a daily maintenance of a bun for an everyday before school prep.

If the child desires to keep her hair and her mother obliges, most sane mothers will always go the route of less pain and more manageable hairstyles for their children.

Some hair textures na die o. No comb fit run through them. If you like put all the grease inside jar. Seriously speaking some people have very soft scalp that cannot be put to the torture of daily styling. The best option is weave or braid to last a week or two cos even with low cut, running combs through them every day is still a menace, unless you want to he visiting barber weekly to make it very low.

Just make sure you find a good hairdresser who is used to making children's hair. Some hands have that magical touch, just do well to remind them to be easy on your LO.

I love this write up, the angle they place childrens hair is wrenching.

PeacenLove2:


Some hair textures na die o. No comb fit run through them. If you like put all the grease inside jar. Seriously speaking some people have very soft scalp that cannot be put to the torture of daily styling. The best option is weave or braid to last a week or two cos even with low cut, running combs through them every day is still a menace, unless you want to he visiting barber weekly to make it very low.

Just make sure you find a good hairdresser who is used to making children's hair. Some hands have that magical touch, just do well to remind them to be easy on your LO.

Thank you! This was what I was trying to say, thanks for explaining it better than I did.

computergeek:
Why do we have to teach little girls to go through unbearable pain for so-called beauty even when they are only a few months old?


I get so upset each time I see a little girl crying for hours unending at the salon while they pull, poke and prod her hair. The moms would actually be the ones holding the girls down while the hairdressers harden their hearts to the children's tears. I always wonder, what exactly are you trying to achieve by putting your child through so much pain just to have her sporting a few awkward-looking weaves? Since she's not old enough to decide that this is what she wants, she shouldn't be stressed and hurt just to look pretty. Are they looking for suitors? Do they have to start so early to stress to impress?


With her natural hair, well-oiled, combed and packed nicely into buns or tails, she'll still be the beautiful princess you gave birth to. I really hate children being put through any sort of skin pain. When my son was a baby, he was fussy about getting his hair cut, so much that we used to wait till he was deeply asleep before clipping his hair. Sometimes we'd only manage to go halfway, but we'll leave it like that until he sleeps again.


How do fathers permit this? When we were growing up, my dad would personally insist on the hairdresser coming to our place to braid so he could sternly warn her to go easy on our heads. When he saw that we still cried regardless, he had them cut off all our hair . We hated it then, but at least the gut-wrenching crying stopped.

Some little girls would be sick for days from the tight, skin-breaking braids their mothers would allow someone to put on their heads.

I remember a day I was getting a manicure at the salon, a little girl whose mom had dropped her off was getting hair done at the corner. She cried so much that after a while, there were no tears left to shed. Her irresponsible mother came back after a while and said, "Obego nke izizi?" As in, "Has she cried the first round?"

Just imagine.

Mothers please, this festive period, if your daughter hasn't been tortured yet, kindly look for something that won't cause her any pain and have them style her hair with it (shown in the second photo). She's beautiful however she looks. You're not in a competition with anybody to have the finest child. That's how they'll grow up to believe that they can never be beautiful without weaves and braids.


Lalasticlala (Don't let them hurt Favour please ), Mynd44, Dominique.

Lies!!!

Ujujoan2 I see you, talk na.

OP thank you! Braiding hair should NEVER hurt that why alot of Nigerian women have alopecia.

Getting your hair done should never hurt. Nigerians really don't understand.

doitforyou:
I agree, but this isn’t true for all hair textures. For some hair textures it’s better the kid goes through the ‘pain’ once a week than a daily torture of styling.

Styling hair should never hurt. You are wrong.

computergeek:
She should never go throw any pain at all until she's old enough to decide that she wants to do it.

And by old enough, I mean 18.

I hope you know the pictures you posted are not the girl's natural hair. That girl's hair was pulled, combed and the edges laid like kilode.
Unfortunately, it's easier for many black children to have their hair in plaits than packing it, as it gets dry easily and they won't be able to moisturise it during the day till they get home. Plaits help to retain moisture and it's easier to manage than having to comb the hair at least once daily, unless you want them to turn dreadlocks by force.
Girls don't like low cut, same way you didn't and it can cause emotional distress and low self esteem in some of them.
I don't subscribe to doing hair styles that will pull out their natural hair, but until they're older to manage their natural hair, allow mothers plait their children's hair.
And I also don't subscribe to using chemicals/relaxers (which softens the hair to better manage it, but can cause long term damage too)
I know the stress it takes to comb their hair after washing it, and daily combing till it's braided. It's actually more humane to make braids for 4- 6 weeks than combing the hair daily.

PeacenLove2:


Some hair textures na die o. No comb fit run through them. If you like put all the grease inside jar. Seriously speaking some people have very soft scalp that cannot be put to the torture of daily styling. The best option is weave or braid to last a week or two cos even with low cut, running combs through them every day is still a menace, unless you want to he visiting barber weekly to make it very low.

Just make sure you find a good hairdresser who is used to making children's hair. Some hands have that magical touch, just do well to remind them to be easy on your LO.

This is why you should never comb your hair when it's dry. Grease is not a moisturizer.

Learn how to care for afro hair pls.