Good afternoon my fellow women,

This is going to be a long Post

Kindly be reminded that I don't need insultive commentaries as I'm already hurt by the narratives I'm about to share . I only need an advise. Google search lead me to this website few hours ago.

I have been into many relationship in the past with guys that their behaviour and way of life are nothing to write home about. The last straw that had the camel's back was the one that made me gave up on men to focus solely on my career. I was disvirgined at the age of 22 by a guy who I gave 100% love to.

It happened;

Sometimes around last year, a friend of mine was having her birthday. She was a colleague from work. I work in an audit firm in Lagos, VI( identity witheld). I didn't plan to spend the night there, but as it happened to be on a Saturday, I didn't have any objection when she asked me to spend the night in her place.

About 7pm in the evening, we decided to go out and chill which will be funded by her boyfriend. It was there I met this guy, which was a friend of the said boyfriend. Talks run into talks, he seemed like a perfect match for me and I was already getting used to him. I liked him.

Few days after,he asked me out which I found nice and cool.

Later, I got to know he has no job and has been into some side hustling all the while. I had no problem with this.

Months later , he started requesting money from me which he claimed went into settling some debts. There was a time I collected salary, said he needed 130k, it was so hard but I had to give him. All that I wanted is his happiness as he claimed he needed money for some hustles.

To cut the story short;

He told me his Love for Virgin girl and how he can Never marry a girl that's not a virgin. I asked him what if I'm not a virgin, he responded in the negative and I started getting nervous about us. I knew I'm not a virgin but ..........

He has been pestering me for sex, which I understand it's not a big deal. But the conversation we had about virginity has been making me scared of losing him. What if he dump after sex Just because I'm not a virgin. My mistake was that I had lied that I am Virgin. Didn't know why I had to .

I have resist all his attempts to have sex with me. Few days ago, I saw his chat with a girl which he's been going out. He had sex with her. I confronted him and he denied. This has make him to be ignoring me. He's not picking my calls, barely reply my text and if he ever, it's only one word and boring. But anytime he needs money from me, he call me.

Last week, he told me he needed money but I refused him. He started cursing me on the phone and vow to call it quit with me. he's still yet to respond to all my pleas.

Ladies in the house, what have I done wrong??

Lmao... Leave the mumu guy.

He won't marry you even if he is the one who deflowered you.

The guy seems like someone who will use and dump you

jackals:
Men are scum. spits

Including your dad!

......hmmmm

You need a very resounding slap... Better don't carry this stupidity into 2020...

"Ladies in the house, what have I done wrong??"



This one is for ladies

Short advice; assuming that everything you said is true, he sounds like a narcissist and you sound like a decent type, so he's not for you. Move on or we will be seeing many more of your sad stories on the forum. He has no stability to offer you.

Google 'narcissist' to understand how toxic a relationship with them can be.

errrrm I would have commented buh someone up there just insulted men. Scums don't comment .

CallMeDrino:

Lmao... Leave the mumu guy.
He won't marry you even if he is the one who deflowered you.
The guy seems like someone who will use and dump you


Including your dad!

Most men are irresponsible. But why including my dad

Some people are just ungrateful!
He wasn't really into you at first. When you meet someone who is ready to love and settle down with you, I hope you don't treat him this same way. Keep your head up and let him go.
You seem decent and you only joined narialand on 21st December... I hope all these feminists don't corrupt you and make you a man hater.

Jeweltz:
Good afternoon my fellow women,

This is going to be a long Post

Kindly be reminded that I don't need insultive commentaries as I'm already hurt by the narratives I'm about to share . I only need an advise. Google search lead me to this website few hours ago.

I have been into many relationship in the past with guys that their behaviour and way of life are nothing to write home about. The last straw that had the camel's back was the one that made me gave up on men to focus solely on my career. I was disvirgined at the age of 22 by a guy who I gave 100% love to.

It happened;

Sometimes around last year, a friend of mine was having her birthday. She was a colleague from work. I work in an audit firm in Lagos, VI( identity witheld). I didn't plan to spend the night there, but as it happened to be on a Saturday, I didn't have any objection when she asked me to spend the night in her place.

About 7pm in the evening, we decided to go out and chill which will be funded by her boyfriend. It was there I met this guy, which was a friend of the said boyfriend. Talks run into talks, he seemed like a perfect match for me and I was already getting used to him. I liked him.

Few days after,he asked me out which I found nice and cool.

Later, I got to know he has no job and has been into some side hustling all the while. I had no problem with this.

Months later , he started requesting money from me which he claimed went into settling some debts. There was a time I collected salary, said he needed 130k, it was so hard but I had to give him. All that I wanted is his happiness as he claimed he needed money for some hustles.

To cut the story short;

He told me his Love for Virgin girl and how he can Never marry a girl that's not a virgin. I asked him what if I'm not a virgin, he responded in the negative and I started getting nervous about us. I knew I'm not a virgin but ..........

He has been pestering me for sex, which I understand it's not a big deal. But the conversation we had about virginity has been making me scared of losing him. What if he dump after sex Just because I'm not a virgin. My mistake was that I had lied that I am Virgin. Didn't know why I had to .

I have resist all his attempts to have sex with me. Few days ago, I saw his chat with a girl which he's been going out. He had sex with her. I confronted him and he denied. This has make him to be ignoring me. He's not picking my calls, barely reply my text and if he ever, it's only one word and boring. But anytime he needs money from me, he call me.

Last week, he told me he needed money but I refused him. He started cursing me on the phone and vow to call it quit with me. he's still yet to respond to all my pleas.

Ladies in the house, what have I done wrong??

You are his ATM . Even sex won't keep him, cause he has other ATMs .

Yea too mumu....... Yet una go dey form hard to get..... When them get una, na there we dey realize say una mumu.....

Call the guy now and d end relationship before 2020....if not na dis kind guy you go dey see

jackals:
Men are scum. spits

Including every man that has been in your generation, those that are still alive, the fool that would marry an agbako like you and the ones you will give birth to abi. Your head is the headquarters of stupidity.


OP, if you really value your peace of mind, happiness and sanity, tell him you ain't interested right now. Even if you are a still a virgin, he would give you another reason to dump you after he must have robbed of your virginity and money. Dump his silly ass immediately and shine your eyes next time.

The dude is just shameless for asking you for money..
And why would you give him money when he's not your hubby?

Just call quits now on the relationship..
My 2cents..

If you marry this kain person ehn..

jackals:
Men are scum. spits

Your papa na him be the ring leader

Shebi o ni stuped ni

Your story is that of a fish girl falling in live with a foolish boy. I have no advice for foolish 2020, that's my new year resolution.

Mi o raye o si.

Let him go. You want to be his ATM machine.

He will collect money from you and spend on another lady.

Money like that is never used for anything serious about himself. Na free money .

He doesnt regard you.
You have a career girl. Why dont you focus on it now. Save alot of money buy a land do somthing profitable for YOU.

No dey give man money especially that one who isnt stable. He is just messing with your heart.
Cut ties with him joor. Let go of him. You are too wonderful for such nonsence .
Dont let any man know what you earn or have in your account. Before you know it they will bring up problems that need money solution . You are a virgin or not doesnt matter to anyone who loves you.
I once said poverty na him dey make man look for virginty. He has nothing , he is collecting from you and he still cheating and onto of that na virgin him won marry. And you are still thinking of him haba

The feelings you have for him has not allowed you to see that he is only using you.
As a guy, I am telling you he is only using you because he needs you for now. Once he has no use for you anymore, got will just become another statistics in his books.
You shouldn't have lied about being a virgin.
I have noticed that ladies who lose their virginities before actually getting married actually end up sleeping with many guys before getting married.
But anyway, don't give up. There are good guys out there but they are very very very few.
I wish you all the best.

MightySirKay:
Including every man that has been in your generation, those that are still alive, the fool that would marry an agbako like you and the ones you will give birth to abi. Your head is the headquarters of stupidity.


OP, if you really value your peace of mind, happiness and sanity, tell him you ain't interested right now. Even if you are a still a virgin, he would give you another reason to dump you after he must have robbed of your virginity and money. Dump his silly ass immediately and shine your eyes next time.

Haaaa
Honourable member, this is too much!

jackals:
Men are scum. spits

Nah. Not all

Next time, say most men.

I am sure you have a father and you may give birth to a son someday. You don't want to have a scum as a son right?

MightySirKay:
Including every man that has been in your generation, those that are still alive, the fool that would marry an agbako like you and the ones you will give birth to abi. Your head is the headquarters of stupidity.


OP, if you really value your peace of mind, happiness and sanity, tell him you ain't interested right now. Even if you are a still a virgin, he would give you another reason to dump you after he must have robbed of your virginity and money. Dump his silly ass immediately and shine your eyes next time.

Why is that when you people see a good girl who is ready to stay by you, you try to frustrate all her efforts?

I'm sorry if I have gone too much ;but I can relate with what happened to this girl. it's painful

How old are you now and what did you search on Google that brought you to nairaland?

Enough of this 'men are scum nonsense'.... The fact U keep meeting and giving ur hearts to these set of men doesn't mean we all fall into the same category...There are still men with their brains intact, principled and who have an enviable scale of preference....To the op, I feel pity for U honestly, U got it wrong when U started giving him money without the relationship having a defined direction first,seems you're desperate to find love...I would advise U let go cos you know the inevitable.... There's always a man for every woman.When the right man comes, believe me you won't seek anyone's validation b4 giving him ur all...

TemmyT002:



Nah. Not all

Next time, say most men.

I am sure you have a father and you may give birth to a son someday. You don't want to have a scum as a son right?

I'm sorry if my comment was too demeaning. But some men can be heartless. Why asking a girl for love when u know u don't need her

jackals:
Men are scum. spits

How do you feel looking at your dad knowing the kind of a scumbag he is? Beats my imagination.

24kmagic:
How old are you now and what did you search on Google that brought you to nairaland?

I googled search" how can I get him to be committed" . That was four days ago


Thanks for the input all. I really appreciate. I'll have to reconsider my stand.

It only hurts he can ignore me after everything

J

Jeweltz:
Good afternoon my fellow women,

This is going to be a long Post

Kindly be reminded that I don't need insultive commentaries as I'm already hurt by the narratives I'm about to share . I only need an advise. Google search lead me to this website few hours ago.

I have been into many relationship in the past with guys that their behaviour and way of life are nothing to write home about. The last straw that had the camel's back was the one that made me gave up on men to focus solely on my career. I was disvirgined at the age of 22 by a guy who I gave 100% love to.

It happened;

Sometimes around last year, a friend of mine was having her birthday. She was a colleague from work. I work in an audit firm in Lagos, VI( identity witheld). I didn't plan to spend the night there, but as it happened to be on a Saturday, I didn't have any objection when she asked me to spend the night in her place.

About 7pm in the evening, we decided to go out and chill which will be funded by her boyfriend. It was there I met this guy, which was a friend of the said boyfriend. Talks run into talks, he seemed like a perfect match for me and I was already getting used to him. I liked him.

Few days after,he asked me out which I found nice and cool.

Later, I got to know he has no job and has been into some side hustling all the while. I had no problem with this.

Months later , he started requesting money from me which he claimed went into settling some debts. There was a time I collected salary, said he needed 130k, it was so hard but I had to give him. All that I wanted is his happiness as he claimed he needed money for some hustles.

To cut the story short;

He told me his Love for Virgin girl and how he can Never marry a girl that's not a virgin. I asked him what if I'm not a virgin, he responded in the negative and I started getting nervous about us. I knew I'm not a virgin but ..........

He has been pestering me for sex, which I understand it's not a big deal. But the conversation we had about virginity has been making me scared of losing him. What if he dump after sex Just because I'm not a virgin. My mistake was that I had lied that I am Virgin. Didn't know why I had to .

I have resist all his attempts to have sex with me. Few days ago, I saw his chat with a girl which he's been going out. He had sex with her. I confronted him and he denied. This has make him to be ignoring me. He's not picking my calls, barely reply my text and if he ever, it's only one word and boring. But anytime he needs money from me, he call me.

Last week, he told me he needed money but I refused him. He started cursing me on the phone and vow to call it quit with me. he's still yet to respond to all my pleas.

Ladies in the house, what have I done wrong??

If all what you said here is true, then you are surely a good girl.

That guy does not deserve someone like you.

quote ladies in the house, what have I done wrong?
since this article is for lady alone pls ladies answer her

Dump him.
Don't ask me why
The reasons are clearly stated in ur write up.
It is obvious he is using you.
You re yet to meet the right guy.
Even if he come begging, don't give him the chance.
Though it might be a bit difficult but there is Joy thereafter.
My advice niyen.

jackals:


Why is that when you people see a good girl who is ready to stay by you, you try to frustrate all her efforts?

I'm sorry if I have gone too much ;but I can relate with what happened to this girl. it's painful

The guy is a parasite and the girl unknowingly presented herself as a willing host. We learn by things we've gone through and i believe the girl will be wiser now.

I'm sorry for that reply too, just couldn't take a girl calling men scums when her type has done worse. My uncle dated a girl from 2011 through 2014 and the girl later introduced my uncle as her cousin to her new boyfriend, who happens to be the boyfriend of her bestfriend.

He's using you, it's crystal clear. Please forget about him and move on with your life and be very watchful next time.