Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her - Romance - Nairaland
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| Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by Rapmoney(m): 6:38am On Jan 03, 2020 |
Recently, I was having a discussion with a younger colleague who confided in me about some relationship issues he has been having with his girlfriend of 4 years. They young man was of the opinion that his girlfriend has been cheating on him. According to him, she receives long and suspicious calls from 'male admirers' and this gives him worries that she could fall for any of them anytime soon. He had accosted her several times about this act and it had always ended with the response that they are 'mere admirers' and this has led to numerous quarrels between them. Some even turned physical!!! First, I tried as much as possible to be very objective and logical. I really did not want to be biased despite the work relationship we share. As a realist, I would always state the truth even if it comes out bitter like the gall of a chicken. From what he told me, he has been dating the girl for 4 years. I asked him if he had made any concrete plan towards tying the knot with her and his response was a negative one. After 4 years, you still dey calculate, dey estimate and approximate whether na she go be your wife or not. Ogbeni, which level you sef dey operate on? I made him to understand that problems are either caused by commission or omission. In his case, the inability or reluctance (omission) to define the relationship and attach a final destination to it through concrete visible plans is the remote cause of the problems. Women are like flowers; they blossom today and wither away soonest when they are not plucked. You cannot date a lady for years without any concrete plans of marrying her and still turn around and accuse her of cheating on you. What would you expect her to do? If she pressures you to do the needful, you will still be the one who will quickly see her as someone trying to chain you down with marriage. We should accept truths, no matter how painful they are. I am not in support of cheating in relationships but you do not have any right as a man, be it customary, legal or religious to demand faithfulness from a lady if you are not formally engaged to her. If the finance to coordinate a family is absent and she understands that, two of you can put heads together to see how to reach a compromise. If she is not in, then leave her and let her find her way. Don't leave her on the fence. Work harder and smarter and create a life for yourself. Marriage is not for boys and girls. Nor be bobo and cheeseballs business. You might make her miss eligible suitors. You should not be the one to be blamed if things later go south for her. If your inability to tie the knot stems from the fact that you are still young and want to enjoy your life, then you have no business with committed relationships. Get yourself a fvckmate on contract basis to satisfy your sexual urge. E nor dey expensive. If your inability stems from the fact that you are still watching to know whether she is the one or not after couple of years, you are not a serious fellow! Na spectator you be? Let her go. Don't be an obstacle to her marital prospects. You have no authority backed by law or custom to go haywire if you suspect she is cheating on you. My brother, her papa and mama nor know you. Na who bring drinks and kolanut come deh know. Nor be fight. The socio-economic system witnessed by our parents is far different from what is obtainable today. Things are really not smooth for many young people. Na the one you know you sabi. This ugly situation has made it difficult for many young ladies to meet eligible suitors. Gone are the days when people date for 7years, 8 years and 10 years. Making your girlfriend commit to only you for couple of years without her seeing any good plan of a future together with you is as bad as evil. Time waits for nobody. If e no gree you do, ogbeni leave am. Somebody dey for everybody. 187 Likes 15 Shares
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| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by donstan18: 6:42am On Jan 03, 2020 |
You must be one of the admirers of your friend's girlfriend. 125 Likes 7 Shares |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by CAPSLOCKED: 6:50am On Jan 03, 2020 |
IF MARRIAGE IS THE PROBLEM, THE NEEDFUL FOR HER IS TO LEAVE YOU COMPLETELY, AND GO WITH THE MAN WHO IS READY TO MARRY HER. BUT SHE'LL NEVER DO THAT. BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO KEEP ALL THE PARTNERS AND CONTINUE GAINING WHAT EVER IT IS FROM ALL OF THEM AT ONCE. I HAVE HEARD LADIES CALL IT "NOT PUTTING ALL YOUR EGGS IN ONE BASKET". IF YOU SAY THIS IS A BRILLIANT IDEA, THEN WE CAN APPLAUD YOUNGER WOMEN LESS THAN 24 WHEN THEY HOP AROUND WITH THE EXCUSE OF SEARCHING FOR MARRIAGE. THERE'S MORE TO LOSE THAN GAIN FROM KEEPING MULTIPLE RELATIONSHIPS ESPECIALLY FOR THE FEMALE FOLK, SO WHERE ARE YOU LEADING THE YOUNGER MINDS WHEN YOU ADVICE THEM LIKE THIS? 195 Likes 15 Shares |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by Rapmoney(m): 6:51am On Jan 03, 2020 |
CAPSLOCKED: Kini? |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by izzou(m): 6:55am On Jan 03, 2020 |
 You are so so so so wrong There is nothing to be objective or logical about in cheating. As a guy, I must demand faithfulness from my lady, the moment we are in a relationship. As my lady, she must demand faithfulness from me the moment we are in a relationship If a lady feels her man is taking too long to wife her, END THE RELATIONSHIP. Also, if a guy feels his lady is taking too long to accept, END IT TOO We complicate our lives on this earth with decisions we term "Objective and Logical". There is no right way to do a something wrong. There never is 207 Likes 20 Shares |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by Rapmoney(m): 7:04am On Jan 03, 2020 |
donstan18: You see your life? Hasty conclusion. The bloke ain't my friend but a workmate. 19 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by Rapmoney(m): 7:07am On Jan 03, 2020 |
izzou:Did you not end up re-echoing what I stated? I didn't support cheating in an affair but you do not have the right to go haywire if you don't have any plan of marrying her. Is that too hard to comprehend? Most people are very selfish. I'm sure you wouldn't want that for your sisters and female relatives. 56 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by TUANKU(m): 7:09am On Jan 03, 2020 |
Well written garbage. Any guarantees the admirers will marry her? Sadly the way things are these days na covert olosho most men go marry lass lass. 34 Likes 6 Shares |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by Nobody: 7:10am On Jan 03, 2020 |
What is this one saying?? 30 Likes 1 Share
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| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by Rapmoney(m): 7:12am On Jan 03, 2020 |
CAPSLOCKED: My brother, committed relationships are not for small boys and girls. A girl who is below 24 or so and tells you that she still want to tryout to know who would be right for her does not have any business to be in a committed relationship. Same thing applies to the male folks. 13 Likes 5 Shares |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by basmur(m): 7:12am On Jan 03, 2020 |
hmmn |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by Rapmoney(m): 7:14am On Jan 03, 2020 |
TUANKU: I'm not surprised. The number of underage on this forum has increased in recent times. 34 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by izzou(m): 7:16am On Jan 03, 2020 |
Rapmoney: You do not support cheating, but you are saying I shouldn't go haywire if I found out she cheated? Ogaaa People go into relationships for different reasons. If we agree to be in one, then faithfulness is a requirement. The moment you feel I don't have any plans for you, jejely quit instead of cheating The guy who doesn't have a plan for marriage may not be cheating on her. So why injure him emotionally? The lady who doesn't have a plan for marriage may not be cheating on him. So why injure her emotionally? Stop turning your point like Amala. If you really do not support cheating, then edit your thread, advising the guy or the lady to quit, and not saying "He/she shouldn't be mad if She/he cheats" 83 Likes 11 Shares |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by Rapmoney(m): 7:23am On Jan 03, 2020 |
izzou:I have already done that in my post because I clearly stated that such a man should leave such lady and let her forge her way. I never said that the man should hold tightly to her even with such situation on ground. 12 Likes |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by Nobody: 7:24am On Jan 03, 2020 |
Rapmoney: U are approaching relationship matters with a textbook approach.... ofcourse as a man, if I’m 200% sure I’m just using a girl as a booty-calll..it won’t really bother me if she’s cheating...but if we are dating genuinely and the relationship has not blossomed to the marriage lane...does that now mean I shouldn expect faithfulness from her?? Isn’t that what all women expect too weda they are ready to marry you or not....so far you are entering them, they don’t expect you to enter another woman ...... 39 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by TUANKU(m): 7:30am On Jan 03, 2020 |
Rapmoney:Changes nothing its still garbage, you will probably fvck your friend's girl. 15 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by Rapmoney(m): 7:31am On Jan 03, 2020 |
TUANKU:If you have nothing meaningful to say you can move to the next thread. 10 Likes |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by TUANKU(m): 7:33am On Jan 03, 2020 |
Rapmoney:Farm tool. 3 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by Oluwaphemite(m): 7:38am On Jan 03, 2020 |
How can you trust a hoe, Never trust a hoe. How sure are u dat d lady is still with d guy? It's nt all about cheating. 2 Likes |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by Nobody: 8:03am On Jan 03, 2020 |
CAPSLOCKED:if after a year,a man has said nothing about marriage,walk away...cheating ain't the way 3 Likes |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by Rapmoney(m): 8:13am On Jan 03, 2020 |
Michellekabod2: Shocked ke? 1 Like |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by lilmax(m): 8:25am On Jan 03, 2020 |
See wetin man dey post 8 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by Rapmoney(m): 8:33am On Jan 03, 2020 |
lilmax: No, na woman go post am. 9 Likes |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by hkidola00(m): 8:44am On Jan 03, 2020 |
lilmax:meself shock, see d jargons he's writing, someone like dis op fit commit suicide if one Naija girl won deal wit am 16 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by Rapmoney(m): 8:49am On Jan 03, 2020 |
hkidola00: My guy, go sidon for corner. Wetin u dey yarn sef? You guys need to see it from a realistic point. There's no need being biased. 10 Likes |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by 24kmagic: 8:55am On Jan 03, 2020 |
Ok |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by Nobody: 9:01am On Jan 03, 2020 |
I stand with you my friend. If you date my sister or daughter for four years without plans, na me go take my hand bring man wey she go cheat on you with. Nonsense.  32 Likes |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by Rapmoney(m): 9:08am On Jan 03, 2020 |
J111333: Thanks. We should always think realistically. Many folks criticizing me are really out of touch with reality. It has to do with a deep root of selfishness. Well, it could be the age or stage they are in life. 20 Likes |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by Rapmoney(m): 9:27am On Jan 03, 2020 |
This is a typical example of the mentality I've been talking about. Now, see what an adult posted on fb. Out of the abundance of the heart, the hands typeth. 9 Likes 1 Share
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| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by marvin906(m): 9:34am On Jan 03, 2020 |
this has got be the dumbest shi.t have read this year 19 Likes 1 Share
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| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by CAPSLOCKED: 10:26am On Jan 03, 2020 |
Michellekabod2: MY FRIEND AND THE GIRL MET IN 2010, AS TEENAGERS. THEY'LL BE GETTING MARRIED THIS YEAR AFTER 10 YEARS AND I'VE NEVER SEEN A MORE HAPPIER PAIR IN THE ENTIRE 10 YEARS THAT WE'VE ALL BEEN FRIENDS. WE SHOULD JUST STOP CREATING PRINCIPLES FOR PEOPLE AND ALLOW THEM WORK WITH THE TIMINGS THAT THEY'RE COMFORTABLE WITH. FOLLOWING YOUR OPINION DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY WALKING AWAYS THE GIRL MIGHT HAVE DONE IN TEN YEARS? HOW MANY PREGNANCIES/STD'S AND ANY OTHER THING THAT WILL ACCOMPANY SUCH AN ADVENTURE? I'VE NOT EVEN TALKED ABOUT MY FRIENDS THAT HAVE BEEN TOGETHER SINCE WE WERE IN JSS2. THEM STILL DEY O CLOSE TO 2 DECADES. WHY SHOULD WE ASK THEM TO GO SEPERATE WAYS UNLESS THEY MUST GET MARRIED TODAY TODAY.  HOW IS THEIR MARRIAGE MY BUSINESS? A HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE UNMARRIED PAIR IS BETTER COMPARED TO THE MARRIED ONES THAT HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED PEACE EVEN FOR 2 MINUTES IN THEIR MARRIAGE. WE SHA STUPID FOR THIS COUNTRY. WETIN SUPPOSE CONCERN US WITH PEOPLE MARRIAGE? UNFAITHFULNESS IS WHAT IT IS. NO SUGAR COATING WETHER MARRIAGE IS INVOLVED OR NOT. IF YOU WANT MARRIAGE GO AHEAD AND GET IT FROM WHEREVER AND STOP DECEIVING YOUR PARTNER, WHO MAY PROBABLY BE GIVING HIS/HER ALL THINKING (S)HE'S MAKING A LIFETIME INVESTMENT WITHOUT KNOWING THAT YOU'RE A COMMERCIAL DISTRIBUTOR. 50 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: Don't Accuse A Lady Of Cheating If You Won't Marry Her by chigoizie7(m): 10:35am On Jan 03, 2020 |
Mtcheeeew, let me continue moving my move 4 Likes |
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