₦airaland Forum

makydebbie:
I'm going through this same thing with my 16 years old cousin. I really don't know what to do anymore because I've told her the dangers of her actions yet she's still going out without letting anyone know only return hours later and I don't want to resort to beatings because I'm sure it'll make her even more rebellious.

LilMissFavvy:
Did I say 14yr olds do not go to school? You think all parents are care free? School has timing, and a parent should know when school will be over, and the time a child should return. My dad would always call me to ask why I was 5mins late arriving from school, and I would explain. Despite the strictness of my parents, especially dad, I still loved them, loved my dad far more than my mum. As we grew we understood they meant well. Some parents do not know how to train a female child.

smat101:
I Am Planing To Seriously Beat My Kid Sister 2moro Morning

What I was scared of is finally happening...
I've a lot to say but let me try to be brief...

It's been 4years+ since I last went home to see my mum and siblings. I really love my kid sister so much even more than my mum.

There is a lot to say but to cut the long story short, when I came back she had already developed breast but she is just 14 years.
Just today I talked to her about sex, boyfriends, pornography relationship, sex, everything in that area.

Recently she was using my phone for Facebook, then I asked her consent to read some of her messages which she agreed. As I was reading through she dragged the phone from my hand when I wanted to click a particular chat. I became inquisitive but respected her privacy. I then asked her to log out when she is done...

Just this night I wanted to login to my Facebook then I clicked the Facebook icon her account was still logged in... What I saw broke my heart, she was planning to send nudes to a guy and the guy was planning to have sex with her this weekend, she kept on telling him that she was afraid, but he kept on telling her he will use condom, that she should not be afraid...

My problem is that she is a minor and this guy is 27...

So this is what I plan to do, Flog her thoroughly very early tomorrow, then later talk to her again...
Then that bastard beat him up in the evening with two other guys...

I really love this girl and Want the best for her pls parents preferably how should I handle this matter .

Vortex369:
She has fallen in love. That is the aspect that escapes you commentators.

When emotions fuel a decision, beatings dont cut it.

Arrange with a girl to privately call your sister claiming to be girlfriend of the pedo guy and saw their chat about sex and threaten to beat and disgrace her if she dares come close to her supposed man

Her fragile heart will crack. Then follow up by saying that a strange girl call you and warned to pour her acid cos she is sleeping with her guy. Then arrange some nice canes on her ass. Make it hurt that she can not lie down for sex.

Slap makes no sense and looks too mature for her. Use fresh cane and Arrange 12 strokes on same spot on her ass. That will be part of her memory. Cane the ass enough so she cant sit or lay down on it. Make see how she wants to lie down for Bleep.

Stop being too direct in age of AI. It don't work

WackyJ1:
I came here because I wanted to give you some careful valuable advice.

I hope I can articulately type everything I want to tell you in a way that you will understand.

Your Sister wants to have sex with a man that is 27 years old, someone who is older than her with 13 years. And you want to beat her.

After beating her what next? You tell her don't do it again?
How effective has that been in changing anything? The runs girls and the hoes out there were all beaten by their parents but it didn't stop them from being promiscuous.

Beating, flogging is easy because it is easy to dispense and it saves the adult from doing what is more difficult, Actually talking to the Child.
Read what I wrote again, "Talking to the Child". Not Talking at the Child but actually engaging in a conversation where you strive to understand what the child feels, striking a rapport with the child and then passing your message across through that connection that has been established.

Doing this requires emotional intelligence and understanding of psychology with the majority of people in this country and even the world at large lacks.
Nigerian parents and perhaps African parents at large believe that flogging with solve everything so they end up raising children that suffer from trauma. This is the same way most American parents respond to problems with their children by administering drugs but they are better than us in the sense that they also take the children for therapy and counseling.

Enough of the background story.
Let me tell you how you must approach this situation.


You must first understand what motivates young girls like this.
You must also talk to her like someone that UNDERSTANDS. Not like an adult reprimanding a Junior and dishing out the commandments, thou shall not. You must sound like someone that knows how she is thinking at the moment and what she is thinking and this is where your emotional intelligence comes into play.

Anything else and you risk not connecting with her and all your words are empty. She will only act like she understands.

Now let me talk about her motivations and what she is going through.

1. Curiosity.
2. Peer Pressure.

Every young girl is curious about sex, they want to know what it is like, they want to know how it feels. Most of this pressure comes from the kind of company that they keep. Their clique of friends and what they discuss. It comes from boys they have a crush on and the ones that pressure her for sex.

This is a point where I must mention another truth:
She is going to have crushes on 60% if not more of all the guys that she meets until she is 20 years old.

These guys are going to have an influence over her because of what she feels for them. It is this influence that they will use to try and get what they want from her.

Everything I have just told you (From the word: "Truth", you should tell her, So she knows that you know and that you understand. Tell her that it is normal. Tell her that if she gives into sex with every single guy that she is going to have a crush on then she will have opened her legs for 15 guys before she is 20.

3. Connection.
How is the home environment like? Does she get to talk well with her parents? Do your parents understand her or are they too old and outdated to do so? Does she have a best friend who understands her? Is she lonely even in the midst of many friends? You need to know the answers to this. Sometimes what she is seeking is that Love and connection. This guy is offering it to her and she wants to reciprocate it by giving the guy what he wants which is sex.


4. Ask her about her sex drive.
Does she have the urge to have sex constantly? Does she have to urge to continuously view pornography? If she does, that is where the problem is coming from, her body is constantly pulling her towards a path that she cannot resist.

This is the point where I tell you another truth that you must tell her.
If she starts having sex now at 14, she will get addicted. She will crave more and more till she gets to the point where she cannot say no to any guy even if she doesn't like his character. Once she gets addicted she will discover that she will sleep with as much as 10 guys in a year. This is even a conservative figure. May girls do as much as 2 a month, totally different guys. They can't help it, in fact they love it. They want to sleep with a guy just to taste him.

5. What are her goals for the future?
Is your family well to do? Or are there financial issues that the family is struggling with? Does she want to become someone well known and respected in the future? Does she want to be someone who can get excellent grades in Senior Secondary School and the University?
If she starts having sex now, she will not be able to concentrate any longer.
She will never be able to focus, the number of men in her life will never allow her to do so and if she can not concentrate she cannot study and if she cannot study, she cannot get good grades and she cannot become someone of importance in the future.

You need to let her know all this.

I have more to say, but I have gotten tired of typing.
We can connect via PM and eventually talk on the phone.

However, read what I have written and if you have not tried this approach then it is imperative that you do so.

smat101:
Nah this Saturday the scattering for happen o...
She is still
a virgin, she told him

truthsayer2:
you dont acheive anything by force,you take things gently....

On the flip side,i think it is because of this your forceful approach to things and high handedness that made them relieve you of you moderator position here

smat101:
Nah this Saturday the scattering for happen o...
She is still a virgin, she told him

JayPeeOham:
Bro, just like some people said, beating will only make her scared of you and not confide in you over her private life which I am very sure you won't want that!

I also have a younger sister who will be 20 this year, but I still talk to her as if she was 13 despite the fact that she is through with her 1st degree.

I can't remember beating her for a day. I always counsel her, give raw talks about everything sex, love and relationship to a point she became so comfortable talking to me even more than our mom.

The first mistake you will make is making her feel you are "The Elder Brother" ..teenagers of these days don't like being bossed around, they like being themselves, which most times they find that freedom in their so called male besties.

To win them over, you need to first be their best friend before "Elder Brother"!!!

Your sister is 14 and it has been proven that youthful exuberance begins from 13 through 20. Be careful not to push her to seek advice outside the house, that will be dangerous.

Finally, treat her like you would treat that girl you love. In other words, make her know that there's nothing a man /boy out there would do for her that you cannot do for her. Mind you, it's not about money, but the mindset. Make sure you create in her the mindset that no boy out there can lo e her more than you than.

In summary, you also have to ask yourself if you have been a good example to her.

P.S.: Advice is like a stranger, if you welcome it, then it stays, if you don't it goes. Don't force her to see things from your own point of view. Do your best and leave the rest for God while you also remember her in prayers.

smat101:
I Am Planing To Seriously Beat My Kid Sister 2moro Morning

What I was scared of is finally happening...
I've a lot to say but let me try to be brief...

It's been 4years+ since I last went home to see my mum and siblings. I really love my kid sister so much even more than my mum.

There is a lot to say but to cut the long story short, when I came back she had already developed breast but she is just 14 years.
Just today I talked to her about sex, boyfriends, pornography relationship, sex, everything in that area.

Recently she was using my phone for Facebook, then I asked her consent to read some of her messages which she agreed. As I was reading through she dragged the phone from my hand when I wanted to click a particular chat. I became inquisitive but respected her privacy. I then asked her to log out when she is done...

Just this night I wanted to login to my Facebook then I clicked the Facebook icon her account was still logged in... What I saw broke my heart, she was planning to send nudes to a guy and the guy was planning to have sex with her this weekend, she kept on telling him that she was afraid, but he kept on telling her he will use condom, that she should not be afraid...

My problem is that she is a minor and this guy is 27...

So this is what I plan to do, Flog her thoroughly very early tomorrow, then later talk to her again...
Then that bastard beat him up in the evening with two other guys...

I really love this girl and Want the best for her pls parents preferably how should I handle this matter .

smat101:
I just finished talking to her like an hour ago, and she is still wanting to give in to sex...
I think if I beat her it will help her remember what I told her.

Tori46:
I am also experiencing something like that with my younger brother. He keeps asking girls out and talking dirty with them. I have reported him countless times to my parents and they have seized his phone lots ot times but he's hell bent on going down that road. He does not talk much and I am really scared for him. Does anyone know how I can help him?

danilmo:
Arrh..urs have started going out. Nawa o...

If u can beat her please do but mind u it won't change her mind set. then thereafter have a career talk with her , ask her if she know any example of things that make people lost focus (jokingly sex education will fall in).

And please don't forget, if there are educational seminars where ladies are co speaker, take her along, let her see what women can do, She ll b inspired. and her decision will b from within

Ishilove:
I
More oil on your head. Which kain useless rebellion is that? Na so fvck dey hungry am?

The beating should not be too much but make sure you slap some sense into her. Oniranu omo.

As for that despoiler of innocence, make sure you treat his fvck up. Keep chatting with him pretending to be your sis, set a fvck date with him then show up at the venue with some Oshodi thugs who will rearrange his dentition and shift his jaw. Oloriburuku omo ale

chiefolododo:
if beating make her more rebellious,then increase beatings until she can no longer be rebellious

smat101:
I just finished talking to her like an hour ago, and she is still wanting to give in to sex...
I think if I beat her it will help her remember what I told her.