ifyalways:
I will try to make this short, simple and fun but please read and observe the rules carefully.

1. Tell us how you spent your holidays and your goals for 2020.

2. The essay will be not less than 500 words but not more than 1000 words.

3. Essay title is " How I spent my holidays and my goals for 2020" . It could be fiction or non-fiction.

4. The best 12 essays wins 10K each. No consolation prizes to be won. I will not consider any essay once its past the deadline .

5. Funpetition and submitting of essays starts Monday 13th of January (8 am) until Wednesday 15th of January ( 6pm)

6. Please pay attention to your grammar. You can inject Local parlance, native language or pidgin occasionally but the standard is legible English.

7. Winners will be announced on Thursday and Winnings disbursed on Friday 17th January.

Ladyjane5657, food is ready

NosaJBourne:


Ladyjane5657, food is ready

Lolzzz.. Tanxxx hun

Lemme tag no 5

ifyalways:
I will try to make this short, simple and fun but please read and observe the rules carefully.

1. Tell us how you spent your holidays and your goals for 2020.

2. The essay will be not less than 500 words but not more than 1000 words.

3. Essay title is " How I spent my holidays and my goals for 2020" . It could be fiction or non-fiction.

4. The best 12 essays wins 10K each. No consolation prizes to be won. I will not consider any essay once its past the deadline .

5. Funpetition and submitting of essays starts Monday 13th of January (8 am) until Wednesday 15th of January ( 6pm)

6. Please pay attention to your grammar. You can inject Local parlance, native language or pidgin occasionally but the standard is legible English.

7. Winners will be announced on Thursday and Winnings disbursed on Friday 17th January.

Number5 I know u will like this

Ladyjane5657:


Number5 I know u will like this

chai! If to say na only 1 winner them dey look for, Na to just gif up participating be that. lol... Na to carry the cup give Number5. I cannot can

ifyalways:
I will try to make this short, simple and fun but please read and observe the rules carefully.

ify do we post the essay here? On this thread?

ifyalways:
Please keep your name and private information out of your essay. If you must inject names into your Essay, let it be fictitious names please.

Hi ifyalways I just checked the thread again to see the easy has been reduced to 1000 mean while I have written an essay with1420 words.

Cutting it down again will distort the valuable content.
I wish I can suggest making use of your initial rule to the topic

1stHooligan:
Hi ifyalways I just checked the thread again to see the easy has been reduced to 1000 mean while I have written an essay with1420 words.

Cutting it down again will distort the valuable content.
I wish I can suggest making use of your initial rule to the topic

No problem at all for you or anyone that has written a piece already.

Callertunez:
ify do we post the essay here? On this thread?

Where else? Here please

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How I spent my last holiday and my goals for 2020.


This last year holidays was my first as a graduate. It was a nightmare for me. The dream was to get a very good job at the beginning of 2019 but it's Nigeria, things like that only happen in fairy tales. I submitted applications like i was being paid to. And when the rejection emails started trooping in, I thought it was something I could handle, was brushing it off at first until it became too much. Depression and anxiety hit me so hard! Would have been better if I was still in my father's house, but I decided to form hard man and big boy bachelor by moving out of the house to a different city entirely! Was still waiting for a good paying job until hunger started making the decisions for me, had to settle for a teaching job with a meagre salary.
Fast forward to November, my account had nothing in it! They don't pay teachers so well for me to save for the holidays. At least I need to get something for my mum and dad as well the kids at home. My heart started beating at an unusual rate, like how is it November already? Didn't we just start January like 6 hours ago? My village people are in charge of world clock now ? Started thinking of an excuse to give my mum for not coming for Christmas, should I tell them I have something to do at work? Even "aboki bambiala" knows quite well that all schools are closed at Christmas. Few days to Christmas I knew I had to act fast, I opted for a small loan at access bank. At least, I'd have cash to buy something for people at home.
School closed and my village people resumed work without any delay. Packed my bags to go home without hesitation, even though I didn't have enough cash, I've missed my mummy so much, as per mummy's boy. Got to the park and I figured I had to buy bread, hopped on a bike and rushed down to shoprite. Got the bread and tried paying via POS and it declined my card. Wasn't a problem to me since an ATM was just by the corner and I also needed cash too. Rushed to the ATM and slot in my card, put the required information then the wait started, the ATM wouldn't give me my money. 5 minutes gone the ATM wouldn't dispense cash and I've been debited already. Started sweating like a Christmas goat, I didn't even know if I should pull off my clothe because I was getting so madly impatient, or just act fake classy and keep waiting. ATM went out of service and seized my card, I'm finished! This small money that I just borrowed. Thank God there was a security man nearby who was in charge of the ATM, laid my complaints to him and he told me I could only get my card back after 24hours. As I was talking with him my account was credited back. Believe me I've never been more happy in my life, I couldn't just tear clothe and scream hallelujah! Transferred the money to a good Samaritan nearby who helped me withdraw with his card and handed my cash over to me. Got my bread and headed straight to peace park to enter a bus home.
Got home in a short time and my mum on sighting me from afar started shouting like she's seen a ghost ( gave me that vibe of somebody who just got back from the abroad after 100 years) my mum can be too dramatic. Greeted our neighbours even though they were looking at me like someone who's dejected. I don't know if they were expecting me to roll into the streets in a Ferrari. You people think Nigeria is easy? Please go take several seats! Even these fine shirt and shoes I'm wearing, I borrowed everything.
Christmas came and we celebrated moderately, all thanks to my mum who saw how everything was. My elder brother sent us some money for the Christmas feast since he won't be coming but my mum asked me to keep the money because it looked like I needed it more; oh my heart. That Christmas was actually way better than what I dreaded it'd be like, even though it was a very emotional period for me. Felt really down most of the times but it was very much helpful having farmiliar faces and family around me.
This new year started so well though, applied for various transcribing and writing gigs and I got accepted for a couple of few ones with very nice rates. This year is going to be different and way better. Made various mistakes last year that I'm sure to correct this year and learn from them. The biggest mistake I made last year was relying on people I thought were close friends to help me, put so much hope in humans that it almost wrecked me. This year I'm so much flying solo, going to carve a niche for myself in the labour market. My teaching job will keep going until I have enough money to stand on my own and focus fully on freelance jobs. For what it's worth, I'm very sure of one thing, I will never go hungry this year! Going to also try and help out those people around me who find it so hard to barely eat, I've been there, so it breaks my heart that there are many out there who are going through same. Really hope I achieve all these and more this year, so help me God!


Cc ifyalways

HOW I SPENT MY HOLIDAYS AND MY GOALS FOR 2020
Holidays is one of the most important aspect of anyone's life because it allows us to take a break from our monotonous tasks at work and enjoy ourselves especially away from home. My holiday started early as I left Kano on the 20th of December for my village in the South West. Holidays are best conceived and imagined but mostly financially exhausting to enjoy. This reality dawned on me when I got to Okin Express Motor Park in Kano and realized transportation fares have almost doubled. The price of fuel was the same and there was no scarcity so I see no reason why the cost of transportation should increase. Unfortunately, my opinion is irrelevant in this case. It is either I pay the 9,000 Naira fare, which I did grudgingly; or I give up my holiday plans.

After nine hours on the road, I got home to a sumptuous meal of amala and ewedu prepared by my mother which I refreshingly devoured. The following day, I went to a nearby village where they were celebrating òdun égun; a festival of masquerades. The lovely dance step of the masquerades was a reminder of the fact that our culture never grows out of place. I took part in the competition of ayó òlópón; a relaxation game in a carved wooden box containing twelve holes which is commonly played among the Yorubas. I must have overestimated my expertise in the game as I was soundly defeated by my opponent.
It was happy moments catching up on old times with friends and loved ones. To celebrate our reunion, we drove in a friend's car to Western Sun Hotel, a relaxation spot in Ede. After a few bottles of beer, tongues were loosened and legs screaming for a dance. We hit the ballroom where local strippers with whale-like panties were entertaining guests. It really was a fun-filled night at the hotel.

On the 27th of December, I left my village for Ife so I could spend the remaining days of the holiday season with my uncle and his family. Ile-Ife, which is regarded as the cradle of civilization, is home to the Ooni; one of the paramount traditional rulers in Yoruba land. My uncle suggested we all visit some notable places in the town.
Our first point of call was the Opa Oranmiyan (Oranmiyan's staff) at the shrine in Arubidi Quarters of Ife. It is a staff-like symbol that is about 18-feet tall with some intricate designs on it. The staff symbolizes Ile-Ife as the ancestral source of the Yoruba people because Oranmiyan is a direct descendant of Oduduwa, the progenitor of the Yoruba race. The staff is assumed to have some supernatural powers and is appeased periodically. Although it is claimed Oranmiyan used the staff while he was alive, the tall symbol doesn't look to me like something any man could carry. That is just my opinion anyway; I dare not voice it out. I no wan mai irùnmólé knack me jazz.

After leaving the shrine, we visited Moremi statue. The 42-feet tall statue was erected by the current Ooni of Ife to immortalize Queen Moremi Ajasoro, who according to folklore saved the ancient Yoruba town of Ife from slave raiders. The statue which is a lovely sight to behold is said to be the tallest in Nigeria and fourth tallest in Africa. My brief stay at Ife was a memorable experience. My holiday indeed lived up to the expectations I had of it.

The New Year has begun, another circle has started. This is the time people make decisions about how they want their year to be and I am not left out. On the 2nd of January, I came across a thread on Nairaland Forum where people were asked to explain how they made their first million in 2019. This was an eye-opener for me as I was surprised at the number of testimonies recorded on the thread about how many people made a financial breakthrough in the year many others were looking to japaa to Canada. One intriguing fact about this realization was that none of those people worked under anyone. They were their bosses in their various businesses.

Spurred by this revelation, I have pinpointed my goals for the New Year. First of all, I am leveraging on the cyberspace this year to make money. I am developing my skills in graphic design and website building. I spent the past three months studying domaining, dropshipping and mini importation so I'm putting what I have learnt so far to use this year. At the moment, I am building my e-commerce dropshipping store and I hope to launch it very soon.
I am equally intensifying my efforts in domain flipping (selling of domain names) and I hope to have recorded my first sale before the end of February. With the little income I would be making along the way, I intend going into mini importation. It is my dream to fire my boss this year. I hope say the man no dey Nairaland sha.

One of my best decisions last year was reading self-help books. It helped improve me greatly as a person. I am reading more books this year, even if it is for a short while every day. I have a to-read list already so I'm sticking to it. Achieving all that I have listed above definitely won't happen without some setbacks so I guess some occasional letdown is part of my New Year goals too.

In conclusion, I hope to keep discovering the educative and informative threads on Nairaland this 2020. I came across this forum in 2011 and I can proudly say most of the ideas and skills I have today started from various sections of the forum. I hope to come across even more beneficial ones this year.
Thank you.

cc Ifyalways

ifyalways:
I will try to make this short, simple and fun but please read and observe the rules carefully.

1. Tell us how you spent your holidays and your goals for 2020.

2. The essay will be not less than 500 words but not more than 1000 words.

3. Essay title is " How I spent my holidays and my goals for 2020" . It could be fiction or non-fiction.

4. The best 12 essays wins 10K each. No consolation prizes to be won. I will not consider any essay once its past the deadline .

5. Funpetition and submitting of essays starts Monday 13th of January (8 am) until Wednesday 15th of January ( 6pm)

6. Please pay attention to your grammar. You can inject Local parlance, native language or pidgin occasionally but the standard is legible English.

7. Winners will be announced on Thursday and Winnings disbursed on Friday 17th January.

HOW I SPENT MY HOLIDAYS AND MY GOALS FOR 2020

Holidays are usually periods when people take some time off their job, visit places, or wind down. It’s a perfect time for most people to spend time with loved ones. Touring recreational centres and parks, soaking up the sun on the beach, eat out (treats), visit to the orphanage, just to mention a few, are activities worth engaging in by many.

For me, I prefer whiling away time during periods like this by relaxing in a serene environment. Somewhere close to nature that displays the beauty and uniqueness of creation. I find this therapeutic.
2019 had been a rough year for me. I never thought I would end the year still without a job (I lost out in three of the jobs I applied for, with the rest still pending). I resigned my job earlier on in May. I applied for several jobs and had gone for several CBTs and interviews which drained me physically, emotionally, financially, and in fact, psychologically. And so, winding up the year by visiting a cool place close to nature was just the best gift I could give myself during the holidays.

So, I had begun planning, and after some research, Lekki Conservation Centre was the best bet for me (considering proximity, cost and other factors). Interestingly, a friend of mine who relocated to Canada years ago had informed me she would be visiting Nigeria during the holiday period, and said she would like us to meet. I had had feelings for her, but due to some circumstances, things could not work out between both of us. I was optimistic this was the best time we could meet and discuss things out. And so, I planned spending time out with her at the Lekki Conservation Centre. She found the idea great. Fortunately for me, I was paid some money for an online job I did then. The problem of finance was finally solved! Everything seemed to be working out just fine. From that point in time, I imagined how amazing things had begun to turn out.

I had imagined having a pinic with my “longtime crush” at the Lekki Conservation Centre, enjoying the warmth of the breeze, and feeling full of the joys of spring as we played the big board games together (I learnt ludo, snake and ladder games were designed to be played on the floor, as in, they were made large).
I anticipated the refreshing feeling and relieve from stress I would get as we spend time together to enjoy the coolness of the environment and snap beautiful pictures at the Resort Centre that presents lots of amazing scenery and natural background (I’d researched and viewed lovely pictures of the park online).

And then, the biggest attraction of the Lekki Conservation Centre came to mind – The Canopy Walk! The Canopy walkway at the Lekki Conservation Centre is said to be the longest ever in Africa (about 400 metres long). I envisaged the thrill and rush of pleasurable adrenaline that I would get to experience as I walk through the longest Canopy Walkway in Africa! This experience cannot be compared to the cost I would forgo to walk through the Canopy Walkway (and not just alone, but with someone I had feelings for).
I learnt the Conservation Centre had many monkeys, squirrels, peacocks, tortoise and an amazing natural fish pond. I love animals! Coming close to the wild, gazing at wildlife was a pleasurable experience I had always craved for. And this time around, I am doing it with “bae”! What a wonderful holiday this would be, as I imagined!

Eventually, “bae” landed in Nigeria on Christmas day. I was as happy as a dog with two tails! And then, a day passed, no calls, no chats (well, I said she must be taking time to rest because of the journey). Another day passed, still “bae” didn’t chat nor call. I decided to give her some few days before I put a call through to know when she would be set for the planned hangout at Lekki Conservation Centre.

Lo and behold, “bae” updated pictures (not one, not two) of a guy she had once told me about she met as a friend in 2018 when she visited. Reality dawned on me that I have been barking up the wrong tree. “Bae” was already hooked with the guy! I felt down in the dumps as my heart sank. The heartbreak was familiar, just like the one I got after receiving a regret mail from a job recruitment opportunity. The planned trip to Lekki Conservation Centre fell through as I did not get to hear from “Bae” anymore.

Since “I cannot come and drink snipper”, I just simply gave myself a treat with my favorite meal (mash beans a.k.a “ewa agoin”, topped with fried egg, supported with fluffy “agege bread” with “thick tea”) to round off the holiday. I spent the remaining few days of the year soaking up the atmosphere as I kept tabs on Nairaland to get updates on the jobs I was expecting feedback from, which kept me on pins and needles. Finally attended the Watch night service that gave succor to my hurting heart.

Going forward, my major goal for this year is to give myself in service to the Lord, and be spent for the Lord in His vineyard (one of my shortfalls in the previous year). I believe all other things (job, soul mate, etc) would follow accordingly.

This year, I am aiming at taking a certification course in copyrighting to be better equipped in providing quality freelance services to clients, while I continue my job search. I am also considering learning computer languages that are germane to data science (I don’t want to be left out in this 4th Industrial Revolution).

Lastly, I have resolved that this year:
1. “I can’t kill myself”
2. “I can’t come and kill myself”
3. “I can’t come and go and kill myself”!


Cc ifyalways

ifyalways:
I will try to make this short, simple and fun but please read and observe the rules carefully.

1. Tell us how you spent your holidays and your goals for 2020.

2. The essay will be not less than 500 words but not more than 1000 words.

3. Essay title is " How I spent my holidays and my goals for 2020" . It could be fiction or non-fiction.

4. The best 12 essays wins 10K each. No consolation prizes to be won. I will not consider any essay once its past the deadline .

5. Funpetition and submitting of essays starts Monday 13th of January (8 am) until Wednesday 15th of January ( 6pm)

6. Please pay attention to your grammar. You can inject Local parlance, native language or pidgin occasionally but the standard is legible English.

7. Winners will be announced on Thursday and Winnings disbursed on Friday 17th January.

How I Spent My Holidays And My Goals For 2020

My name is William and I’m an extreme introvert. I bet you are wondering what does being an introvert got to do with the yet to be laid out story.

I’m not too sure about how I got my innate character traits, probably due to some genes or my upbringing. But the truth is I’m not happy with my personality. Being an extreme introvert hasn’t really endeared me to the world around me. I have no friends to speak of; no family I’m close to, no serious romantic relationship and the most distressing of all, never had a job. I graduated since 2014 and I’m yet to get a job. I have always had issues at the interview stage, me being unable to express myself verbally.

That above is a summation of who I am.

I have always had issues with socializing be it online or in the physical world. I haven’t travelled in years to spend an holiday with my family. It is the norm in my family to always travel down to the villa to spend the Christmas and New year holiday. This I have avoided participating in due to a number of reasons. First of which is me being broke and unable to spend cash and show off my life’s successes. Back then when I used to travel home for the holidays, I get depressed and shamed when I see my age mates at home for the holidays with their cars and plenty of money to spend while I have nothing to show. So I stopped going home, in fact I stopped logging to my Facebook account, my colleague success stories were making me depressed and despondent.

December last year, mumsy called me. She insisted I come home for the Christmas holiday I haven’t seen her for more than five years. I told her I don’t have the money to make the trip. She won’t take no for an answer, she asked for my account details, of which I reluctantly sent to her. Few minutes later, I got an alert. I felt bad. At age 30, I felt I shouldn’t be accepting money from my mum, I should be the one sending to her. Two days later, I travelled home for the holiday, the journey was eventful in a way, that’s a story for another day.

Mumsy was happy to see me and of a truth I was deeply happy to see her. Things went well for the next two days, I visited relatives, went sightseeing. My villa is a very beautiful place, quite picturesque.

And then it all got soured when my age mates, my former classmates started trooping in with their exotic cars and wads of cash. I ran into some of them at a bar having a good time and I was forced to join them at their table and the questions started. They all wanted to know what I am doing now. I was almost tempted to lie, but alas I told them I was jobless and broke as hell. They were quite surprised and one of them went on to say he had actually thought I was going to be one of the most successful of us all due to how intelligent and brilliant I was back then in school. The whole talk was getting me depressed, so I took my leave of them.

“hey Will…hold on” That was Dare, one of my ex- classmate.
“ what is it bro?” I asked him.
“nothing much just want to have a quick word with you” He replied.

Turns out Dare is a yahoo businessman, he stylishly told me in not so many words. And he wished to help me by showing me the ropes. I thanked him for his kind gestures, and then I told him that I am not interested. He was visibly surprised as he must have felt I would readily jump on the opportunity. I took my leave and headed back home and I was determined to remain indoors for the rest of my stay.

However, on the 26th, I got a pre-arranged visit from a long time family friend. Her name is Linda. She wanted us to go out and I agreed after pressures from my mum to leave the house and go have fun. Linda arrived at my mum’s residence in her flashy car to pick me up for our outing. I was quite self-conscious entering her car. We drove off to a neighboring town with a nice hotel/restaurant, ordered some food and drinks. We seated at a quite secluded spot and the ambience was nice. Linda and I got talking after our repast. We exchanged stories, shared good jokes and laughed. All in all, she was cool to talk to. I have always seen her like an elder sis. She is way older than me with about ten years or so, still beautiful and unmarried. Honestly I once had a childhood crush on her. This however was not enough to prepare me when she made a direct proposal to me.

We had talked about previous relationships and how I have been unable to hold on to one, she on her part told me how unlucky she has been with her unfaithful partners. She told me she is no longer looking for love or willing to settle down with any man, all she wanted is a child to call her own. She stylishly asked me of my health status, my blood group and genotype, I told her, not knowing she had ulterior motives for asking me. My answer seemed to have pleased her, as she was smiling.

And then she dropped the bomb. She wants me to be the father of her child. Linda wants me to get her pregnant.

I was shocked, and couldn’t say anything for more than a minute.
“William, please do this for me” Linda begged.
“Why me? Don’t you have someone else you can ask?” I asked in return.
“I want it to be you and no one else”

Linda kept begging me until I agreed. Deep down I was thrilled, at the same time I was worried and kept thinking of the morality of doing what she wants and the implications. I quelled my conscience after a while of deep thoughts. Linda however wasted no time in pursuing what she wants. Turns out she had booked a room in the hotel. She led me to the room after a couple of drinks. She insisted we make use of the bathroom together for a quick shower and so it started.

We had a great sex and she thanked me. First time a lady thanked me after sex. And so, the rest of my holiday was spent in the company of Linda having hot steamy sex with the hope of procreation and it soon came to an end when Linda had to return back to her station. She promised to invite me over to her place for another round if it turns out she isn’t pregnant by month ending.

The sad twist to this holiday escapade was when Linda transferred about 100k into my account. I felt she was paying me off for services rendered, so I called her out on it and we exchanged hard words, I requested for her account number and I sent the 100k back to her. She is yet to call me since then, not even picking up my calls.

While in the bus returning back to my station, I had a much needed sober reflection. I thought of my life and I thought of ways I could turn things around this year 2020. I outlined certain goals which I plan to achieve before the year runs out. First, I have to work on my personality, if possible seek therapy. I plan to socialize more, both online and in the real world. I hope to make genuine friends and have meaningful relationships. Second, with the help of family and friends, i hope to be able to secure a good job which is not dependent on passing a verbal interview, of which I suck at. And of course I would keep working on my communication skills. And in the event, a good job isn’t obtainable, I plan to raise capital to start a small scale business in mini-importation.

All in all, the sum of my goals is to be a better person this year 2020… Wish me well.

Holidays come and go but the memories stick around. These memories are either good or bad stories. For me, I think I have had my share of both hands. THIS IS EDO STATE

Me and my brother, Ebenezer, planned his graduation to take place during 2019, Christmas and new year holidays. He has been a saloon apprentice in Igarra for over 3 years and was due for freedom. During this holiday, I had bought him 4 WHAL clippers in preparation. I told him it's little things big brother could afford. He asked if he could rent a shop and I told him to wait since he was yet to have a generator. We wanted to he to second-hand generator but it leads to frustration for Barbers.

I invited him to Auchi so that we could go and windowshop how much generators cost and also buy Christmas shoes. On getting to Auchi, my brother informed me about a contribution he and his Oga including 10 other people has been engaged in but he is scared as his "Oga'' was misbehaving. (Oga is the name of the man Ebenezer was learning barbing from and Oga also means a man in charge). I asked, "misbehaving how? ".

His OGA was the pioneer of the contributory scheme and each member contributes 1000 naira weekly making 4000 naira a month, and multiplied by 12 people. This means in a month, somebody goes home with 48,000 naira.
When the lot was cast to determine who gets what each month, my brother was supposed to take the 3rd month contribution while his oga was the last. Coincidentally, the 3rd month when my brother was supposed to collect his, Oga's wife gave birth, Oga begged my brother to have his contribution and switch places and he agreed.

December came and oga said he was not going to graduate my brother because he went to Aviele to work as a catera for two days without physical permission but with a phone call.

17th December, I placed some calls through to Oga but he ignored. I called the wife, she picked and we exchanged pleasantries. I told her to inform her husband I was coming like a thief in the night. She promised to relay my message to her Oga.

On the 18th I touched down in Igarra, my first visitation was his saloon at Secretariat Road but they said he has traveled. Then, I went to their house as a thief to steal Oga's motorcycle. I touched the bike and it spoke with a programmed female voice,"please don't crash! Please don't crash!". I neglected the female voice and attempted to move the bike backwards. "Wee oww wee oww wee oww"! The machine blared. I ran outside and jumped the small fence to escape.

I realized OGA has not been coming home to sleep since 14th of December. I guess he heard I was coming and left his apprentice in CHARGE of his shop.

On the 19th, I myself sent him a text message. I went to his barbing saloon and closed his shop immediately then handed the keys to his apprentice. Poor boy, he wanted to resist, but he knew his Oga was a chronic debtor and a career begger. Me too, I am a career debt recovery manager and a career trouble maker.
Are you looking for trouble? Well, it depends on who is asking. Non of his neighbors came to interven. Seems it's glaring the kind of man he is.

I called my brother to explain what I had done but he kept laughing hysterically. No 'whahala' now, I told him to pick a bike and meet me at Tomatoe Junction by 10am on the 23rd of December.

22nd of December, I set an appointment with my friends at Ugbogbo and at 7pm, all legs were complete at the table. We drank and discussed new developments in Akoko Edo and how to effect some changes in the political arena. Then I raised Oga's matter too and the general consensus was to have him traced...
Word around town: OGA was flexing one if his mistress from Ekpoma.

Lo and behold, 23rd came and it came as cold as Alaska. I told my brother to come by 12pm as against the initially agreed 10am. By 10am, I went to Oga's saloon and packed all his chairs. Then I heard he was boasting he's a strong man. By 11am, I went back and packed his fan, buckets, bowls, mopping stick, clippers and sterilizer.

I borrowed my friends xingxeheng machine then me and my brother set out on our trip to explore. Our first stop was Ewan to drink fresh palmwine. We continued out trip to Ojah town to enjoy its lush green settlements and it's road-side-chef who offers well grilled rabbit at amazing costs. Our next stop was Ojirami dam. You can't see the vast waters and not take a picture at the scene.

My brother kept wondering why I was taking home to all these places.

We bought more grilled rabbits on our way to Lodge at Marianda Guest House in Ososo. The cost was just 2000 naira. The next day, 24th of December, I took Ebenezer to Somorika Hills. If you had been to Somorika Hills, you would know the shade under which visitors usually sit. We Met a luggage placed there with a man Manning the bag. I asked my brother if he was familiar with the bag, he replied yes, but he can't remember who uses it.

I told him to change his shoes to timberland and I too did.
I know you think we are changing to timberland because it gives a solid grip when on rocky platforms... Well, that wasn't why we changed it.

Approximately 7 minutes walk up the hills, guess the two love birds we saw?

Not Davido and Chioma or Davidzo and Ozioma, it was Oga and his Ekpoma undergraduate mistress. I was angry not because of the graduation and money he is denying my brother, but because the mother of his child was more beautiful than Stellar Damascus compared to his mistress.

"Ehen! Naa you be this abi?". "Chose one Oga, make I throw you commot this Hill abi make I collect you and your girlfriend". "Devil go dey happy to meet una sef ". I said.

Oga replied '' Haba my guy calm down. Abeg no very. No be so".
Before he finished the last word, I retorted, "I am not your guy, you are my debtor living large...". "Before, you were even at large, but it is a small world and we have found you".

All this while, I made sure I was the only one acting. The timberland had increased my height significantly. Me that I was as tall as the Biblical Zacheus the tax collector is now as tall as a Nephilim. I collected his phone and headed down the hill.

When we got to the foot of the hills, Oga tried to pull an "Ikemefuna" on me as my back was turned. He gave me a deadly blow at the lower part of my neck, but unlike Ikemefuna I didn't shout, "my father, they have killed me".

Before I could turn back, Oga was already on the floor. My brother had given him a John Cena smack down. He didn't know what hit him, he was lost for a moment as to what he was doing on the ground. I followed up his head with a loving thumping sole to size his soul.

His mistress ran without looking back, then people came to interven but I wanted to sacrifice him to the forest gods. That would be their Christmas gift.
I called my friends that traced and gave me his location, they came and picked him and his girlfriend and drove to Igarra. And me and Ebenezer followed them with the Xingxeng.

27th of December, he did freedom for my brother by "fire by force ". Since he was unable to refund Ebenezer's 48000 naira he went and bought a generator on credit and gave my brother 3000 naira he was able to squeeze out.

Since the start of 2019, I feel I am becoming just like my dad; bold and fearless. Yet my goal is to be a man of peace this year. I won't pay evil with evil this year.

This 2020 I am working towards being A man without bounds. I want to be a man with direction and not just floating through life.
I have made a lot of bad friends, but this year, I am cutting them off. My goal is not just to saying "I want to be successful", rather I want to work towards being successful. And lastly, my biggest goal is to be active in politics this year and trim down my busy schedule

The hard working people deserve a holiday. A period that is official-work free. Whew! 2019 December holidays was memorable.

I had decided to take a trip down to my aunt's house in Lagos and spend the holidays with her. I wanted to compensate the long period we haven't seen each other even though we resided in neighbouring States. So a day before I was to embark on my trip, I went to the market and bought some provision. I took my daughter along with me so she could start learning, know how to buy things and help improve her mathematics.

By the time we got to Lagos, we ran into traffic and at a point I wish I had stayed back in ogun state. It's too late now to start regretting, I told myself. My daughter kept asking me when we were going to arrive and I kept reassuring her we were almost there.

With all that lagos stress, I wonder what lagosians eat that makes them gain weight. By the time we got to my sisters house, no one was at home. Even though I had informed her that I was coming on a later date, I decided to come early as a surprise and it worked. It worked for me because I had to sit at a kiosk in front of her house. Her husband came and we exchanged greetings. He said he thought I was coming before new year but who would want to travel during that time?
By the time I saw my sister, I could barely recognize her. We hugged and I could feel the joy in her. She carried my daugher and greeted her too. Of course my daughter couldn't recognize her because she was barely 8 months old when they saw last.

That night was all about reminiscing and making calls to special family friends. The next day we went to Balogun market and bought ingredients for Christmas food. It was very hectic and again, anywhere you go people keep hitting you with their shoulders, it's very annoying and I didn't even get a "sorry sister".

You know when siblings who haven't seen themselves in a while talk funny questions always arise. My sister asked, "why do we even need to eat food"? Why is food important? I wasn't sure if I should give her an unintelligent reply then again, I wanted to be sane. I told her over the course of human history, food has always been an important aspect of living. Have you ever seen a person survive without food "? In fact, we need food for many things like trade, you need food for good health, you need food to produce energy in order to work optimally." If you don't eat as at when due, you won't perform well at work and that means if you are my employee, I will sack you". We both laughed. She even affirmed that our kids need food to grow properly.

I wanted to show her I was educated in history. I told her, "aunty, it is even part of the marital right to bring different kinds of foods especially tubers as gifts for your intending in-laws. Food usage is exhaustive, iwe need food to stay sane.

In order to bore my sister the more and kill the topic, I went further too quote the Bible where it says "I have given to you every seed bearing plant that is on the entire earth and every tree with seed bearing fruit. Let them serve as food for you".

She smiled and asked if I was getting prepared for pastoral school.

As we cooked there was a brief silence and I asked myself Why are humans attracted to food? I don't stop thinking about food, do you? The sizzling oil, aroma, flavors, colors, texture in hand and on the tip of your tongue. That growing softness and sweetness that had you salivating as your canine bite harder, yes that's food.

Later that day I freshend up and took my daughter, and my sister's kids to Bii Bigi restaurant. I believe there are different types of food I will so much love to have my family enjoy. But then again, people are stepping out to enjoy such meals at restaurants although it could be styled as a cuisine.

I asked the kids "have you eaten the Nigerian delicacy popularly called "ASUN"? They all said no. I taught them how asun is made of properly washed goat meat, onions, turmeric, pepper, spices and salt to taste.

Before the waiter brought the food, I told them they wouldn't be going through the stress of making it themselves, and waiting for the meat and spice to marinate for 30 minutes on low heat.

It was only me in charge of six children, I had to be extra watchful. It got to a point I started suspecting anyone looking towards my direction as having an ulterior motive.

I taught the kids why Restaurants are painted with some colors. Colors such as light blue, yellow, red and orange makes one feel hungry or wanting to eat. When we got home it was well past 10pm and the dad was worried.

The next day, I needed to check certain records I had brought with me on the trip. I discovered that I forgot my glasses at the restaurant. How on earth could I make such a silly mistake. I and my husband's sister drove to the restaurant to check for my glasses.

As we drove past Red Onions Restaurants and down Kola Amadu Cresent, we were faced by heavily armed men who were forcing a man into the vehicle. They asked us to park too which we did. I initially wondered why my in-law decided to park. And me being a woman who wanted to prove human rights, said "haba Oga, what is the issue"? The man thundered at me "are you mad, who are you to question me...". I was very scared before my sister's husband shouted back all sorts and he immediately recognized him.

The armed man removed his blackface cap that was initially covering almost his nose in such a way that if he wanted to look at you, he would need to lift his head and you will need to consider his nose as his eyes if there is a need to communicate with him.

He removed his cap and was saluting saying sorry sir, sorry sir. But I couldn't insult him again even if I wanted to. HE only, clappsed his hands together and was saying sorry ma, sorry ma. My in-law is a high ranking officer who hates stickers or dressing his vehicle to portray being an officer. He says "it draws the draws the obvious". I am not sure what it means.

He drove slowly towards the van and asked what was the issue. The young man had been traced and caught with the stolen phone. As we drove off, the man kept apologizing. My in-law appealed to me but stylishly told me not to question them next time to just ignore. But the defiance in me was as high as mount Everest although I nodded my head each time in acceptance to his long speech as we drove along.

On Christmas morning around 4am I started cooking, so that we could go and give to the needy that stayed by the road side. I don't like the idea of calling them beggars. I feel like it's an insult. In the evening, my sister's eldest son decided to teach me how to play God of War. I have to admit the game was interesting like a movie. He taught me how to use the consoles. The younger ones too wanted to play too. I had to teach them some aspects in English like parts of speech. I taught them about noun, pronoun, verbs, conjunction and adverbs.

On the 28th, we went to visit. My mom's uncle who came back from Canada. I must admit there is something different about being abroad and being at home in Nigeria.

We stayed over till 1st of January and we went to church. The Reverend preached about new year goals. I thought to myself, "even the ones I set last year, I couldn't meet up".

But this year, I promised to do better this year. One of my goals is to take my birth even if it's the cold season. I know the make over and perfumes work wonders. I intend using make up a few times this year.
I want my daughter to spend more time with me and to help her go through her books more especially her mathematics. My goal is to make sure she excels in that aspect more before the end of 2020.

Nothing is impossible, I believe it's a year of chances and I am bent on using it to my best advantage.
Ifyalways

HOW I SPENT MY HOLIDAYS AND MY GOALS FOR 2020



Who doesn’t love holidays? They are special periods we make out time to see, visit and spend some quality moments with our loved ones. My adrenaline was at its peak as I penned down my holidays destinations; the Eastern Nigeria, a region I love so much.


As the alarm woke me at exactly 4:50am 24thDecember 2019, I jumped out of the bed and had a very fast shower. I wore my cloth and dashed straight to the car, said my prayers and hit the road heading to the East. Off course everything was packed into the car the previous night. I knew it would be a long journey driving through many states and obviously many “potholes”, so I was really prepared for it. I had my bitter kola, my selected musicals and some bottles of Coca- Cola which will help keep me from dozing off the steering.


Finally got to Aba few minutes after 9PM with shouts of joy emanating from my friend’s apartment after being away for 9 years. The excitement made me forget I had been sitting and driving since 5am from Lagos. After the exchange of banters, we headed for a local “bush meat joint” where we had numerous plates of “Isiewu” {Goat Head} and other native delicacies till it was Christmas morning. We retired back to the house at about 3:46am Christmas Morning.

I woke around 8am to sound of fire crackers courtesy of the young boys and girls in the neighborhood.
Brushed my teeth and decided to move around the area to see some other folks who I haven’t seen or heard from for years. It was an emotional re-union. Many of us are now fathers, doing well and ageing well too. A lot of our female folks are married; some are still living within the neighborhood. With the permission of everyone and their partners, we fixed a very quick get together that same Christmas day. We sat, played and joked. We relieved of all the good old memories and then I realized that life is truly in stages. We all now have “higher” responsibilities parental responsibility. We formed a Whatsapp group, bade goodbye to each other and then left for our various homes.


Very early in the morning of 27th I left Aba for Owerri, I had a traditional wedding to grace. I got to Owerri by 8:30AM, lodged in a hotel and slept till 1:30PM. I had a cool shower, dressed up and headed for the event. It was my courses-rep in school that was wedding. I got there and the show had already kicked-off. The girl looked familiar and I loved the way they stared at each other. When the couple began their dance, I moved forward to spray some cash on them, the normal Nigerian/ Igbo way. As I did I looked closely at the girl and remembered immediately this was the same girl our course-rep always referred to as his cousin. They always moved together then in School. If any guy wanted to make a move then, he would tell us she was his cousin. In fact this even made us even help our friend in looking out for the girl and “spoiling shows” for other guys in school in the guise of looking after our friends “cousin”. We all laughed out so loud because we all came for the event. We found out we were all played. We had an after wedding party at another location thereafter I headed for my hotel room for the night’s sleep.

I left Owerri the next day 28th for Enugu to see my Sister and the family. I arrived late in the afternoon and had a very delicious beans and plantains. I got nice gifts for my nieces and nephews and then quickly settled for a long gist with my sister. We always had many. The husband came and was excited because he never knew I was coming, it was a secret. He sent for “Nkwobi” and drinks. We had that till late into the night when we all retired to sleep.

I accompanied my sister to the market the next day, helped her with all we bought. Got home, she made a delicious Nsala soup and I had to do good justice to it with two {2} wraps of pounded yam. We all went out for a musical concert that night and returned home late in the night. The kids slept of immediately as my sister and I settled for another round of gist till few minutes past 4AM in the morning. I had to sleep because I would be visiting Awka that day.

I arrived Awka by 1PM 30th December, met my friends and we then visited a lot of places. I made sure I was not going to be out beyond 6PM as I needed enough rest so I could drive safely back to Lagos the next morning. I had good plates of pepper soup, rice with ofe akwu. My stomach was so disappointed as there was enough to eat I was scared of paying the price {Purging} the next day.

The holiday was over by the time I woke the next day 4:30AM 31st December. I prayed, had my bath and hopped into the car. Lagos I headed. As I drove I remembered every single event I attended and everyone I met since I visited the East on 24th. I had no reason not to thank God for all I am and all I will be. In the midst of all these enjoyments/ fun, I saw some people who couldn’t afford even the basic things of life particularly the widows, who were struggling with the role of a mother and a father. I saw children whose future looked so bleak.

I knew that their condition and whatever they’re going through will be included in my 2020 goals. As I seek to know God more, grow more in my career. As I watch my family grow and break strides, I will have to accommodate some of these widows/ orphans/ Aged in my goals. A whole lot of people are suffering and I will contribute my own little quota to humanity.

I arrived Lagos weak and tired, picked my bags from the booth and walked into my apartment with a smile on my face. A smile of an accomplished holiday tour!

14th December, a call came in. It was my friend from home, she sounded off. Tamara, what's happening I asked and she said babe i don't know how to tell you. I began to swear immediately, 'is my mum OK? What about Mike i asked'? She said your mum and son are doing well, it's precious. Precious is gone. 'Gone where'? I asked. 'She's dead' came the reply. Oh, my world turned upside down, i wept bitterly. How can my sister be gone? Someone i talked to last night, we made Christmas plans together; it couldn't be. Maybe it's a lie, maybe they'll call back to tell me she woke up. How can my sister who was hale and hearty just go to bed and not wake up? Where do i start from?

I prepared and travelled back home, it wasn't a moment i'd wish for anyone. The atmosphere at home was heavy, i slipped into depression. I couldn't come to terms with the fact that she was truly gone. I went through her stuffs and kept expecting her to show up and ask me why I'm searching her things.

My mum was shocked beyond words. She kept narrating the events of my sisters last moments to me. How my sister went to church on that day, washed her clothes and carried out normal activities. I still couldn't understand how it happened. My younger brother said it's still like a dream to him. The entire family couldn't come to terms with the reality on ground.

Then came the relatives, the good, the bad and the ugly. I wished i could ask everyone to leave because at some point it started to look like a reunion of some sort. I kept wondering, my sister is laying cold and you all are eating, drinking and even having a good laugh. I know that sorrow, grief and tears wouldn't bring her back but then.

Her burial was just like a movie script being played out, i just sat in the room all through and was thinking it's someone else that's being laid in the ground, it can't be my sister, my twin. Oh, I've never felt such raw grief. I kept thinking what i could have done different to keep her alive. Maybe if i had prayed harder? How come no one saw any sign? How did death strike so mercilessly?

I spent my holiday accepting condolences visits and calls. It was a terrible holiday experience for me. Well, I'm trying to get over it but i don't know if that's even possible, It really hurts that my sister left in her youth. Thank God for a whole lot of friends and family that kept me strong, I kept asking myself 'what is the essence of life'? When i look at my parents and my son i just know in my heart that i can't afford to give up.

2020, I'll just be me and do whatever makes me happy. No one knows when their time will be up so let's make every second count. What will people say about you when you're gone? What legacy am I leaving behind? I pray and i hope that this year will be one of favour and breakthrough. I'm putting in more effort to correct some of my weaknesses. Hopefully, at the end of the year, I'd have every reason to look back and glorify God.

I'm still searching for a job, incase anyone out there has one. Thank you.

How I spent my 2019 holidays were a combination of meeting old friends, resettlement and working towards an improved life.

Not that I was employed in a government establishment but I worked towards securing upliftment for my family and from my family members. I believe family is everything and I had to accept that reality.

I knew during the Christmas and end of the year holidays, my uncles and sisters would be coming to the family house, so I used that opportunity to seek their support. This is because by the time they are around they would say, "now that you are a graduate what are you doing?". As if they wouldn't hear if I have gotten another employment letter.

I made them aware I was relocating back to ilorin from ekiti in the next few days. That was on the 15th of December. I told them I was going to be setting up a motorcycle spare parts shop as I knew that was the business with the quickest in turn although not the highest. I had already contacted my friend back in ilorin who gave me a good location.

On the 16th, I went to the bank and deposited money into my friend's account for an outlet. Let's assume my friends name is coconut. Coconut told me he got the alert but the money may not be sufficient as I needed to send more money to patch up the shop's metal door. Coconut was right, security is important in business, so I immediately transferred more to him.

Only the 17th, I informed my landlady that I was leaving. She was shell shocked but I told her I was only going back home. I gave her son my Bluetooth headset. At least that's enough as a parting gift. Dude wanted to request for my LG sound system, I laughed it off and said I would put it on his head and carry it after me to Fajuyi Park.

I Played with my ekiti guys, we went to bar and took few bottles. It was there I broke it to them that I was finally leaving ekiti after 3years since my NYSC. They asked why and I said it's just to change environment. I ordered for more drinkins for them but I took few. Because I knew I will be travelling the next day.

On the 18th after morning ablutions and fajr prayer, I headed to the park. My landlady's son carried my things after me to the Junction where I took a taxi. On my way after boarding a taxi, Coconut called me to tell me he had painted the shop. "Haa! I don't have money for paint oo".

He replied that 'no you got me wrong, I said I painted the shop for you'. I burst into laughter and asked if it was free of charge. I was surprised but thanked him. I didn't want to inform him I was coming to ilorin and I didn't want to tell him to send the pictures VIA whatsapp.

I was super excited and Happy coconut doesn't engage in sharp practices as my dad had painted him. I guess atimes our assumptions are wrong.

The trip wasn't that exciting and I also felt bad for my country. Security personnel on the road collecting 100 naira at every security post. Soldiers, police and even Road safety officials. I asked the old man sitting beside me, "is this what our security outfit has been reduced too?
He didn't respond, but it was later I realized he was deaf and dumb. Well maybe that was why the driver wasn't playing any music nor listening to news throughout the trip. He must have assumed we are all deaf and dumb.
Oh, I miss my Bluetooth headset.

I got home around 4:30pm and a lot has changed. Ilorin now has a flyover at Geri Alimi. I saw it and I was happy. What remains now is employment for the youth and I believe the government will work towards it.

When I got home, dad was glad to see me. He questioned why I didn't tell him I was already on my way so that he could kill a goat for me. We haven't seen each other for over two years and I haven't been taking his whatsapp video calls.
On the 19th of December, some of my friends already caught wind that I was back in town. Let's call them pawpaw, orange and cashew.

I and cashew attended the same University but lettuce was my roommate. Cashew had a girlfriend who was my roommate's course mate. I felt like I was thorn in between two worlds because lettuce was my roommate. cashew came from my area but we were not that close.

Cashew and I often watch chelsea football club matches together whenever we are back at home. So when lettuce and cashew's girl started dating, I wasn't sure how to treat the issue.

When he discovered, who the girl was dating, Cashew saw me as an enemy. During our 400level, as men, we trashed the issue and became friends since the girl was now even carrying a baby for a lecturer.

Cashew and Orange came to my house that night and greeted me. He was now married to cauliflower with two kids and I was happy for him.

Orange was my old time friend with high Street credibility. He told me he heard about a shop I intend opening and he was wondering if I could hire his kid bro to be there when I am not around. I couldn't reject his request but I let him know I was just starting. I saw them off and came back to rest but I couldn't sleep.

I had to think over my life in general and that was when I heard pawpaw shouting my name. I shout back that people were sleeping. Then he said one of my uncles have been calling me. That was when I realized my phone had been switched off. I switched it on and got various missed call notification from Etisalat and some transactions.

On the 20th, I called coconut and he was surprised I was in ilorin. I picked a bike and came to my house. I was surprised how in earth he grew so much beards. I tried touching it.

Now I am planning towards grooming my beard.

He took me too my shop and I was glad with what I saw. Coconut is a good friend because I keep trying to calculate how much he painted the shop for me. And the shop was bigger than my expectation.

We left the shop and went to meet the caretaker, from there me and coconut went to his house. Still a hustling bachelor like me the only difference is he is a single Dad.

He talked about when my goods will arrive and I made it clear there was no goods anywhere yet but I got the shop based on iman or faith as people call it. I was just going to start small with least expensive parts I could afford.

Before leaving, I gave his daughter some amount that was significant. I called it her Christmas gift even though they were Muslims. The father had been good to me.

The following day I told my dad about my plans, he didn't discourage me although I felt he was disappointed. I told him it was better than staying at home. He gave me his keys and I drove him to the shop.

On the 23rd a lot of family members were already arriving. Those who gave and those who promised to give. At least I am happy non of them is promising me any job and that I should send my CV to their mail. They are no longer fooling me or should I say, "they are no longer giving me inaccurate hope.

And yes one of my goals this year is to rely less on people. If you need to get something done, you have to do it yourself. My goal is to get closer to Allah and also my goal is not to neglect hard work. I know every year I set this goals to have a sense of direction to life, but some factors seems to be beyond our control.

I know since I have relocated from Ekiti, some bad habit must change. No more alcohol in 2020 and beyond. No more betting. Either it is dog race, cow race, baby virtual, hockey or football betting, no more betting! No matter how sweet the name is to pronounce, gambling will always be gambling.

My goal is to quit gambling and it's already working for me.

I am targeting the goal of having my own sweetheart this year. I made the resolution of having my child in 2020 too. Pregnancy is 9 months, so let's see how it goes. Nonetheless we decided but God gives effect.
Cc Ifyalways

How I spent my Holiday and my goals for 2020.

The hair heart break story

Christmas was bland, I had a job that made me commit to spending extra days. So it was basically work, work, work and then, food, food, food.

The new year began on a different tune.
You know the excitement that comes with the new year? The new hope, new beginning? I had that feeling too! I was pretty excited to see myself succeed.

As I sat in this hair salon, imagining how bang my new dread style would look on me, I got a mail. Yayy, I've been waiting forever for this. A new chapter has begun for me and I'll dive into it head first.

Then I tapped it...
"We regret to inform you..."
Dang it! I looked up at the mirror, I couldn't find tears in my eyes, but my soul was lost. My stomach felt weird inside, like a huge space was formed and it twisted. My heart burned, too.
I tried to distract myself by brushing off the bad hair breakage on my clothes. It wasn't a good distraction as I sunk into further despair. My hands shook and my tummy turned the more. "This isn't a great way to start the year", I heard my myself scream so loud inside...

I looked in the mirror again, and this time i see the lady looking at me through it. She was "judging" me. I probably didn't respond to her questions or she could see my confused soul. I knew that instant I needed someone to talk to.

I pulled out my phone and texted dear Choco.

"It didn't work out", I finally typed after misspelling a billion times, no thanks to my still trembling hands.

" I'm so sorry, other opportunities will come..." and he went on to say how much he believed in me.

Then it happened.

The tears broke free like prisoners caged in a lost soul. They found expression, and I'm sure they liked it. There's something consolations do to this full fledged female.

"Be strong, don't make a scene. You're strong", a voice in my head said. I listened because I wiped those tears and bits of hair that kept dropping on my face and clothes and opportunities.

"It is okay to cry, you're human, express it all", a rival voice countered.

" Freaking leave me alone, voices in my head" another voice said.

Head still bowed, I dabbed off more tears and looked back at the mirror. Eyes bloodshot red.

"Ah ah, aunty, wetin happen to your eyes?"
The lady asked.

"Na hair enter am. This my hair too dey break".

" Eya, I go tell my auntie make she give you one cream..."

AND I WAS SAVED BY THE HAIR.

I've been trying to pick pieces of my soul that were since shattered. I was broken and doubted myself but I'm better now, to know, I won't get it all the time. I am smart and beautiful and I'm that piece that completes the puzzle. I will try again!!!

Though the new year started on a not-so-great note, I'm going the extra mile to make it greater than I imagined.

No hair breakage or unfavourable mail will stop my shine.

I'm diving into new opportunities head first, or maybe, leg first

Keep them coming. No need to cc me,im here.

Not less than 500 words. Very important o.

How I spent my holidays and my goals for 2020" .
Holidays are meant for freedom not Prisons or police cells, or is it? If am willing to share my holiday's sojourn would you walk with me? My name is Joseph and I turned twenty-something years old during this holiday. Of course, I had to celebrate my new age in a grand style but I didn't have Independence Way Anguwarimi as part of my birthday plans or locations.

Although if emergency relocation was needed for the celebration, I wouldn't mind an impromptu usage of ASO ROCK VILLA. At least which legitimate president wouldn't be happy to meet a man who shares birthday month with God's only son?

On the 17th of December I was in bed thinking about how unemployment was about running me mad, but in my moment of introspection, I got a call from a Ebuka my secondary school and Facebook friend who called to remind me of my birthday and how I should live a life like Christ(as if I ever told him I had a nack for priesthood).

The anger in me almost made me lose the grip off my well rubber-banded Nokia phone. I questioned how he knew my birthday but dude seems to like to hear his own voice as he kept talking. At a point, he asked how I was going to celebrate my birthday as a big boy and I told him point blank that I was cash strapped, and nothing special was going to happen.

We ended the call on that note only for other friends to start calling me about how Ebuka informed them that I am throwing a party! Haa! Party for what exactly, when I am broken and unemployed?

I hurriedly log on to Facebook to blast Ebuka only to get the message "guy send your account number". All my anger, frustration and eagerness to challenge him disappeared like a drop of water in a blazing furnace. Yours truly, I sent the details and 10 minutes later I got the alert of sixteen thousand Naira! My heart leaped twice. My heartbeat literally jumped like a baby kangaroo.

At that point I wanted to run to the ATM: I wore my jeans, but I wore just one leg and struggling to wear my blue trainers. I held my comb with my teeth while trying wear my shirt. Then Opened the spring door and wanted to pad lock it. God so good, It was at that moment when I got to my door I realized I was about to run mad because while being money-stuned, I threw the padlock in the dustbin.

I was so confused with the excitement that every single thing I did was synonymous to that of a Lagos criminal who caught wind of his imminent arrest and tried to escape with two clothes in a polythene bag on a Monday morning.

Then when I started regaining my sanity, it occurred to me that I didn't call Ebuka who had sent the money.

I went back inside and got the padlock after frantically searching for it, although I was still dressed in a funny manner. While walking really faster than usual, I called Ebuka to thank him. In fact, I even started my greetings with "Sir Ebuka", "boss", "my oga". Only God knows the salutations I did not praise him with. hence, my new found loyalty could not bring my innocent mind to ask Ebuka what he now does for a living.

I did not want to be seen as an ungrateful being who could not appreciate a kind gesture. A gesture that surpassed my monthly earning with one thousand while I was teaching in a primary school.

Oh! Yes! I almost forgot! if you are wondering where Independence Way Anguwarimi is located, it's in Kaduna. It hosts "Kaduna Correctional Service" if I am sugar coating it. But I'll tell you in clear terms, "prison naa prison my country people". Somebody slept there for Christmas.

I doubt there would be any other mind boggling December like that of 2019. If I had known, I would have refunded Ebuka's 16k immediately the alert came through but no, I did not. After facing a very long que of just four people at the GTBank ATM, I withdrew five thousand Naira, went and bought two plates of good hot rice and beans, well garnished with plantains and fish then topped it off with a chilling Fanta.

After eating I went and bought 8 packs of Arizona as requested by Chief Ebuka.
He made the request because he knew back in the days at Rimi College secondary school, I have always had the links to purchase whatever any seeker might need.

On the 20th of December, I spent more than four hours looking for the man that will send me to prison. Oh! I mean instead of looking for someone I could pay to bake a birthday cake for me, I was busy looking for the dealer and he must have been in the age range of 33 to 35 years old but lost on the path to self-actualization, determination and a life of positive inspiration to his kids. Deep down in me I kept hoping I don't end up like him

As I made the payment for the "arizona", I could understand the man's smile and see beyond his scar battered face psychologically to be, "Joseph, all because of Christmas you want to knock yourself out?". Only if he had known it wasn't meant for me

On the eve of 21st, birthday messages have started rolling in . I was feeling so fulfilled then Ebuka's call came through and it made me feel on top of the world. He asked that we meet at a popular beer parlor and of course I wasn't going to question his reason for choosing the beer parlor because the day was starting to feel like it's more about him or maybe we were both birthday mates.

I was so happy because I was starting to believe my friend was an angel sent to lift me up. And if you asked me, I'll say I knew there was more (money) where that came from.

Without wasting time I immediately sent the same location to some close friends on Facebook and called the few I could. But I was earnestly hoping very few would turn up. The fewer the better; You can't blame me. Just like my fellow footballers always say "over calculation makes a man". I needed to save part of the money from Ebuka to buy a small phone instead of blowing it all on beer, birthday cake and what not.

By 9:30 pm, me, Ebuka, Shola, Sulimam, Amechi, John and Musa also known as Musa the meat boy were drinking and sharing different experiences and planning the future on the basis of "when the money comes". Then I thanked Ebuka in their presence, told them he has always stood by me and how I hope to repay his kindness someday soon.

I have not finished my vote of thanks when two men walked towards our section like normal customers that patronizes the bar often. Some minutes later they came and requested "birthday boy buy something for us too now".

God knows I did not want to order the two bottles of Legend I gave them, yet after finishing my legend they came and "finished my legend" by arresting us. They said we were smoking hemp, later they said we were in possession of hemp... While driving us away the bar manager caused a scene and blocked the gate. Then they held on to just two of us, me and Ebuka.

They said we were yahoo boys and asked for our phones I gave them mine with an objection initially. The officers figured quite easily that I was seriously fighting poverty my phone was like a wounded lion heavily bandaged.

Ebuka didn't open his phone, he told them loud and clear "I am a G boy, take me to anywhere". It must have been the alcohol but they did took us to the station, from there they drove us through Rigachukwa road and took us to smell the doors of prison at Independence Way Anguwarimi. So much ironies in life, prison located at Independence.

Well on a sober note, now it's 2020 and I have set my goals. I have been praying to God to help me quit, to quit drug abuse since I don't see myself leading a good life; a life of goals, a life of happiness devoid of moving with uneducated political thugs.

Part of my 2020 goals is to find a loving wife I could share my life with too. Because what's a successful man without a woman?

Annie55:
The hair heart break story

Christmas was bland, I had a job that made me commit to spending extra days. So it was basically work, work, work and then, food, food, food.

The new year began on a different tune.
You know the excitement that comes with the new year? The new hope, new beginning? I had that feeling too! I was pretty excited to see myself succeed.

As I sat in this hair salon, imagining how bang my new dread style would look on me, I got a mail. Yayy, I've been waiting forever for this. A new chapter has begun for me and I'll dive into it head first.

Then I tapped it...
"We regret to inform you..."
Dang it! I looked up at the mirror, I couldn't find tears in my eyes, but my soul was lost. My stomach felt weird inside, like a huge space was formed and it twisted. My heart burned, too.
I tried to distract myself by brushing off the bad hair breakage on my clothes. It wasn't a good distraction as I sunk into further despair. My hands shook and my tummy turned the more. "This isn't a great way to start the year", I heard my myself scream so loud inside...

I've been trying to pick pieces of my soul that were since shattered. I was broken and doubted myself but I'm better now, to know, I won't get it all the time. I am smart and beautiful and I'm that piece that completes the puzzle. I will try again!!!

Though the new year started on a not-so-great note, I'm going the extra mile to make it greater than I imagined.

No hair breakage or unfavourable mail will stop my shine.

I'm diving into new opportunities head first, or maybe leg first

head first, or maybe leg first LOL... God airpus...

HOW I SPENT MY HOLIDAYS AND MY GOALS FOR 2020

HOW I SPENT MY HOLIDAYS
As at 18th of December, 2019 I had no idea of how my Christmas and new year day celebrations will be; reason been that I had only just 4K in my account. So I decided to use 2K of of the money to learn about a skill which I saw on the WhatsApp status of one of my friends. And it was worth it.

On the 22nd, which was the last Sunday before Christmas, I went for second service at my church ( winners chapel ), the theme of the month was about THANKSGIVING, so during the service we were told to thank God for everything; particularly for the wonderful things He will do before the year end. I did so with my whole heart and then went home believing God to do wonders.

I couldn't travel up north to meet my parent because of the little token with me, not because I could not borrow but; because I won't be able to my guarantee my creditor of a certain date to return the money. So on the 24th of December, I finally decide that I'll do my holidaying here in the southwest.

I woke up around 5am on christmas day, did some house chores, and left for church around 7:45am. Got to church exactly, 8:05am, I went to my usual seat: column number 2; row number 4; and seat number 4(Don't know if that lady usher always purposely reserve that seat for me). I shook hands and greeted each person that were both on my left and right hand side with our usual covenant greeting: "I have Dominion" and each responded with: "that's my heritage in Christ". The sermon for that day was " WHAT IS CHRISTMAS AND WHAT ARE ITS PURPOSE?" and my pastor intelligently tailored it to the "THE REASON WHY YOU MUST BE THANKFUL. After the service we were told to thank, worship and praised God with no musical instruments. I was filled with Joy and went home Joyful.

I got home around 11:30am, rested for like an hour and thereafter proceed to the kitchen to prepare something for my empty stomach, my intention was to cook rice. No sooner had I place the pot of water on the fire did I hear a knock on the door. " who be this" was what I murmured to myself before I reluctantly went to see who was knocking. When I opened the door it was Mercy; a 16 years old daughter of one of my neighbors carrying a tray of food; I greeted her and swiftly collected the tray of Food, emptied the contents which was fried rice with chicken, even the speed with which I washed the plate and returned it to her still amazes me till now. Before I thought of pouring rice into the pot of water, five more people came to drop Christmas food for me, no one needed to tell me to put down the pot of water, which I did.
I was at home from 26th to 29th December, had no plan of going anywhere. I Spent those periods reading the bible, meditating, praying and fasting for a better new year (2020). On the evening that 29th, I received a surprise call from my Dad that he'll be coming down from the north to the southwest to spend the new year break with me. I was overjoyed because it's been 4 years since he came home last; and we've only been in contact via calls.

8am the next day his call came in, he told me that he has arrived and alighted at a popular junction not to far away from home. I quickly dress up to meet him. On getting there; I prostrated and greeted him welcome. I must confess that the harsh weather of the north did a Job on him that almost made him unrecognizable from afar. I was just grateful to God that he was alive and healthy.

New year day came, and as a custom in the family everyone was expected to be in the village. The last time I did was in 2009, and I had no choice than to go; because my father ORDERED me to come along. It was a memorable experience in the village only that grandma often scold me of my inability to speak our native language fluently. She would often say, "se omo gambari nio ni?". Grandma is 125 year +, before we left, she pleaded with all her children to look for a doctor that will inject her so that she can go and "rest in peace". Everyone just told her that, "the appointed time is not yet come Mama".
I resumed my quest for a job on the midnight of that new year day, thanks to most of my colleagues who were sending me links about vacancy here and there. Day by day, Before my Dad left he often caught me wallowing in thought, and he'll always warn and advice me not to get depressed and that ALL WILL BE WELL SOON.

MY GOALS FOR THE NEW YEAR
1. To get Closer to God than ever before.
2. Learn a new language.
3. Complete the reading of my bible from cover to cover, and read at least one edifying book every week.
4. Irrespective of whether I get a new employment or not, I should have at least 2 sources of income of my own (self employed).
5. Join a chess club and actively participate in chess tournaments ( at least once in two months), and before the end of the year I would have set up a chess club teaching kids and others that may be interested.
6. To move mostly with those that are better than me so that I can be a better person. MODEL THE BEST AND YOU'LL BE LIKE ONE OF THEM.

Cc ifyalways

HOW I SPENT MY HOLIDAYS AND MY GOALS FOR 2020: Diary of a Local Man.

The holidays always come with that feeling of nostalgia which often leaves me relieving memories of how it was spent in the past, and this holiday period wasn't an exception. My holiday was filled with lots of weddings, family time, drama and regret mails.

December kicked off with me doing groomsman duty for two of my friends, one was a coursemate in the university and the other a classmate from secondary school. Local man was anxious as to how I was going to meet up with the financial obligations that came with playing the roles. One of the weddings was scheduled to hold in kaduna where I was living, while the other was all the way in Taraba. Local man was bent on keeping to the bro code, which is to always ensure to turn up for your small circle of friends, as such I started saving from my small income.

The first wedding took place in Kaduna and it was the first wedding I was attending in about two years. Local man was bent on having a good time despite my dancing skills being all rusty, but I was determined to "Zanku" like my life depended on it, while Gbeseing on my village people's head because the year might not have been so great, but for the fact that I was alive and healthy. That was an L for them and I made sure to turn up real hard with my legwork when the D-day arrived. You know, it is as they say "life is too short", so we might as well "parte after parte" at every opportunity we get, because we only live once.

The second wedding was however eventful from the trip to the northeast which opened my eyes to how big Nigeria is and how deplorable some of our roads are. Some potholes can make a pregnant woman go into forced labour, or is it the Numan - Jalingo road that is a 3hour pothole filled trip that would have made even apostle Paul reconsider going on too many missionary journeys. The climax of the trip however was the warm and hospitable reception that I received from the good people of Jalingo, that also ended up with alot of partying because it's the holidays and it is only right for local man to Gbe Body e.

The wedding party would not be complete without me posting some of my best JPEGs on social media, only for me to be hit with questions of "when is your own wedding?" by Exes, Friends and relatives alike. But most of them don't even know that it only "meins" they will sleep there because that is not top priority for local man.

The holidays had it's own share of workplace and job hunting drama, it so happened that one of my relatives working with a Federal Government agency had helped me secure an Appointment with his agency. Unknown to local man it was a backdoor thing and the Director wasn't aware, so you can imagine my shock when the Director in person of Dr P showed up on the day of of IPPIS enrollment and started checking the appointment letters, because according to him, someone had forged his signature and had been issuing appointment letters without his consent and only for me to end up in the category of those with fake letters. Local man was distraught and I kept imagining how my village people are working overtime and wouldn't allow me flourish even just once.

As if that was not enough. On my return to the office, my employer was like "how did it go?", considering I had lied about going for an interview, my reply was "I didn't make the final list". And just when local man thought he had seen it all, my village people possessed him and he opened his mouth to tell me that it didn't work out because I deserved something better. The funny, yet painful part of the statement was that I was going to be paid about three times more than what I was earning, with even fewer working hours.

There was very little that local man could say in order to avoid the scene escalating, because if all had worked out I would only have returned with a resignation letter and not have to bear being used as a beast of burden(the matter bad like that o).

Fast forward to the Christmas and New Year celebrations, local man had to try his possible best to enjoy the holidays and distract himself from all the depressing thoughts of having had a below average year. Or at least that was what the Devil in cohorts with my village people were trying to use and Scatter my sanity. But local man was only going to end the year with Laughter, Tears of joy and Goosebumps like the Fireboy album. Though the spirits weren't high but it couldn't dampen the long array of prospects that was to come. The year ended with me getting curved by my Twitter crush, but I didn't take that to heart. Considering that I might likely even curve myself by myself (if that makes any sense).

Over the past three years, local man has had too many disappointing moments especially in the context of set goals, there is nothing local man hasn't seen on these streets. As such, one of the coping mechanisms I have developed in the new year is to not be overly optimistic and also learn to manage my expectations. That has worked out for me to an extent because I am very unlikely to be sore depressed about any scenario whatsoever, so I am going into the new year with a renewed vigor to put in those applications, improve on my skill set, network some more and hope for the best, because in the context of Nigeria everything can be a tad overwhelming.

This is the first time I'm commenting on a thread that isn't directly job related. Local man wishes everyone a great 2020, may the Wins outweigh the Losses and even in the event that all doesn't go as planned, as long as we are alive and in good health, then every other thing is still attainable despite the unfriendly Nigerian terrains. I feel like this year is going to be good though because everyone around me has been landing jobs, admissions that are an upgrade to their present status, I can only but tap into that energy and hope that local man will soon upgrade to international man.

Last advice for you people is to stop asking people who are struggling, unemployed or underemployed about when they are getting married, if you are not going to do anything to help them out of their plight, you might as well hold your peace. It will happen when it happens or better still open gofundme for them, only that in my case I will most likely use the funds to process Canadian visa, because local man's new motto are the words of the great plantain boy "this life, I can't kill myself o".


All the best from Local man and his plethora of thoughts, let me go and check my beans that is on fire.

Cc: Ifyalways #Funpetition

HOW I SPENT MY HOLIDAYS AND MY GOALS FOR 2020 (this story is mix of fiction and non-fiction)

I looked around the room one last time - more out of nostalgia than the neccessity of being sure i had left nothing behind- before handing the keys to the caretaker who hugged me and bade me farewell. I had just graduated and my brother had offered to drive me home. I took just a few things since i had sold off most of my property. There was a lump in my throat as the vehicle moved and i told myself that i could have stayed on for a few more days ; afterall, my rent didn't expire till the next week but what difference did it really make? Besides, Doshin was a student town and staying there during the holidays was like committing social suicide. ( I tried it once and regretted terribly).
My phone ringing brought me out of my reverie and a look at the caller ID made me smile. It was my uncle Sam.
"Nne how are you?"
"Fine sir"
"I heard that you are now a graduate"
" No uncle, you didn't 'hear'. I called you myself to tell you when i finished my last paper two weeks ago"
" No vex na. I have been very busy. Congrats o. I'm very proud of you"
" Thank you sir"
" That means you are on holiday now abi? "
" Yes o. I'm on a very long holiday"
" Ngwanu, when should i expect you? "
" Uncle, i'm in a vehicle and i can"t hear clearly. I'll call you back please".
I ended the call not because i could not hear clearly but because i needed to laugh really hard and i didn't want to be rude.
Uncle Sam is my paternal uncle who works in a big company and has a big electrical shop which he claims he opened for his wife but everyone knows she's just a glorified sales girl. My siblings and cousins consider me weird because they treat uncle sam as an outcast (no visit, no calls); yet i refer to him as my favourite and that's because he always lays all his cards on the table. He never gives money to anyone for nothing claiming that since he works for his money, why should he give it out for free? Not for him the sentimental illusion of an uncle-niece/nephew relationship. To get a penny from him, you have to work for it. From my first year in the university, i would squeeze out 2 or 3 weeks during the holidays to go work in his shop and get paid. Uncle Sam is so good in calculations that even if you worked for a day, he knew exactly how much to pay. One time, i worked for two weeks and after he gave me my money, i jokingly told him to 'add something' since i'm his niece. He bluntly replied that he had given me free accomodation and feeding for the two weeks so the money was even too much. That shut me up quickly. To be honest though, Uncle Sam was a fair 'employer': if i sold an item higher than the selling price, he showered praises on me and let me keep the difference. Also, i usually got tips from the customers such that by the time i was leaving, the 'extra' was higher than the actual pay.
Being a graduate however, meant that things had changed. I had bigger plans than working in uncle Sam's shop for a stipend. But what exactly would i be doing during the holidays? My boyfriend had travelled for a training that ought to have ended in the first week of December but he called to say there was an extension till january; my bestie was travelling to see her sister who gave birth to twins and was definitely not returning soon. That means i was stuck with my parents and my younger brother who could be fun or a pain in the neck.

I felt the vehicle slowing and looked up to see that we had arrived home. My mum was the first to run out and hug me while jubilating and thank ing God for my academic accomplishments; my dad also came out which was a big deal for me because he's not one to display affection openly. My head was still buried in my parents' embrace when i heard a voice say "madam graduate" and i looked: my sister and her 3 children! I went hysterical, laughing and crying at the same time. It was indeed overwhelming as i had not seen them in 2 years. They had come in the day before but she kept it a secret to surprise me.
The next few days were spent shopping (my sister can shop for the world). My parents were planning a small party. There was indeed a lot to celebrate and be thankful for.

I became the self-appointed babysitter for my sister's children. We went to the park, visited some our family members who lived in the same town. We attended a children's party organised by a TV station, saw Father Christmas and took hundreds of pictures. Mehn! Those children had energy sha. But i loved it and as the month drew to and end, i felt sad that they would leave soon.
Uncle Sam came for the christmas party which was surprising since he always tried to avoid family gatherings. He reminded me that the holidays would end soon or wouldn't i be needing extra cash when school resumes? I reminded him that i had graduated.
I welcomed the new year with mixed feelings: firstly, i was sad that all the 'jollification' with my sister and her children had come to an end. But i was excited because i know 2020 is year of dreams and fulfillment.

My goal this year is to maximize my use of the internet to my benefit. Someone is teaching me how to make wigs and weaves so i'm setting up a business page on instagram. Also, i'm quite good at writing so i want to try my hands on freelancing as well.

Reading

Wow this thread... I am coming