olabrinks:
Are you married? I highly doubt it, I’m sorry.

ireneidiva:

Okay.

Nnemuka:
You people do not always have problems with inlaws when you are dating immediately then do small thing for una head church agbasia.
You nolonger can endure what you were enduring before, even greeting that you do without being forced is now a big issue for you. Who says he must greet you especially if he's older than you

olabrinks:
Good. Wait until you get married first and you have to deal with in-laws with different personalities. Then you’ll have the right advice to give to this woman.

Nnemuka:
You people do not always have problems with inlaws when you are dating immediately then do small thing for una head church agbasia.
You nolonger can endure what you were enduring before, even greeting that you do without being forced is now a big issue for you. Who says he must greet you especially if he's older than you

Lush100:
dear madam,
u need wisdom.
if ur hobby junior brother is not less than 20 or if he is older or same age range as u,
u need to apply some caution.
why?
if your husband doesn't see anything wrong that he stays with you. if ur mother in law doesn't see anything wrong that he stays with you, you will have to find a way to make friends with him. it's from there u can then make it work for u.
for your information, your husband may as well be tolerating his stay but maybe knows there's nothing he can do.
brothers fight each other but they don't hate each other.
you have to navigate this phase. this ur brother in law may be without a job, but u can't just ask him to leave, you may need his help latter,
instead of focusing on ur brother in law, why not focus on your husband and make him increase the amount he gives u on food,( "like my dear, we go need more food money, I want to feed ur our brother so he will have cheeks, u know he gets hungry easily (in a jovial manner).
make friends with him, u can then say" let's make deal, I serve u big meat, u wash ur plate in laughter, he will do it.
is it not wen he is willing to wash the plates. he can sit in d living room cross his leg n watch movies till he gets tired.if he manage to wash plates its because my husband asks him to.d living room where he sleeps i am d one that sweep it ..u can imagine

Iwantpeace:


it's not because something has been done or not and please I m older than him my younger sis and him are age mates. I m just saying he should respect the fact that he's brother is no longer single.do u know he can come into our room to pick his brother's stuff even wen am inside without excuse or something.

Meeyankee:

Their house,their house,keep on saying their house. are you sure you understand the story at all? Just note that the lady’s husband and his brother are coming from somewhere. This how some of your girls treat their in-laws like strangers.she for understand the relationship between his husband and his brother or better still leave the relationship back then. Come no be only wife get husband ok. The husband get parents and siblings too.

bukatyne:


If a husband is not ready to leave his family and cleave to his wife, he should not bother getting married.

Iwantpeace:
Sorry its a bit long. Its just that I don't like anything that will disturb the peace of my mind. And again I have been to their family house and I know he can't do that there then why is he doing it in my place here

Meeyankee:

Hmmmm girls!! During dating girls go Dey form loyal but once them enter man house them go start complain about the man family.

Iwantpeace:


it's not because something has been done or not and please I m older than him my younger sis and him are age mates. I m just saying he should respect the fact that he's brother is no longer single.do u know he can come into our room to pick his brother's stuff even wen am inside without excuse or something.

bukatyne:


I don't know what you are about however, a man not ready to leave his family and cleave to his wife should marry him fam2.

Ditto a wife.

bukatyne:


I don't know what you are about however, a man not ready to leave his family and cleave to his wife should marry him fam2.

Ditto a wife.

SweetCunt97:
Cleaving to ur wife does not imply you abandon family. If it were old testament and new testament period wey all family dey stay for one big house nkor? It was d whites that brought their individualistic marriage style to us. We Africans has always been communal when it comes to marriage.

Meeyankee:

Are you married?

bukatyne:


Madam,

You said he doesn't stick his hands into the pot at his family house. Perhaps, he has been told not to do so.

crackkhaus:

Lol, there's no way she can know what he does in his family house.

I would think you'd be able to detect when someone is trying to sensationalise the story to remove any doubt she's the victim.

How can someone not be allowed to dish his own food at his own family house? What are the chances of that even happening?

Iwantpeace:


it's not because something has been done or not and please I m older than him my younger sis and him are age mates. I m just saying he should respect the fact that he's brother is no longer single.do u know he can come into our room to pick his brother's stuff even wen am inside without excuse or something.

bukatyne:


Yes.

bukatyne:


If a husband is not ready to leave his family and cleave to his wife, he should not bother getting married.

Meeyankee:

You in-laws go stuffer for your hand ooo.. but person like you sha, them gat leave the man for am but something go sup when you and ur hubby go need him family members. Na then you go understand life.

Efewestern:


Getting stale, so because a man is getting married, he shouldn't accommodate his siblings... The OP just said her part of the story, not until I hear from her brother in-law I will just see her as some of these women who love separating their husbands from their root.

Octopusssy:
Loud it. No brat is going to run amok in my own home. I will tell him to his face to stay the fvck away from my pot, and if he expects me togreet him first then he is on a VERY long thing. Screw him and may the devil take his soul.

I'm not making mouth because I'm online. This is what I will do and will not hesitate to do it if it ever comes to that

1StopRudeness:
Mehn these are shallow, infinitesimal issues I personally feel if u ain’t the the classic “me and my husband alone kinda woman” this isn’t worth loosing ur peace over let alone creating a thread to rant

He went to the kitchen he ddnt tell me, ordinary food, did he eat everything and not leave any for u and ur husband??

he put the spoon somehow, the spoon is bend, it’s broken..... Spoon... as in ordinary 100naira spoon!!!

He wants me to greet him first..did he say so??...oh please! This is the lamest one...
what’s the big deal about saying hello and chatting when u see a person.

see, don’t get me wrong, I know we have different tolerance and organizing style as humans...and sometimes it sort of bothers some people more than normal when outsiders invade their space.....but these issues are so unimportant people will just say u are not accommodating at the end of the day.....

Madam let it go....a little accommodating spirit will make the issues u raised unimportant to you

Unless it’s really not about the spoons and pot of soup...if it’s probably because the guy isn’t allowing u moan as loud as u want or feel free in ur house with short skimpy clothes...just tell ur husband... I trust my guy.......

SweetCunt97:
Life is simple. It's obvious you pretended to b accommodating while dating him just to get the ring. Now you've gotten it, it's my kitchen and my spoon, as if u contributed one naira in buying d spoon or furnishing d kitchen... If u like low nonsense eat at u.

crackkhaus:

Lol, there's no way she can know what he does in his family house.

I would think you'd be able to detect when someone is trying to sensationalise the story to remove any doubt she's the victim.

How can someone not be allowed to dish his own food at his own family house? What are the chances of that even happening?

PrimadonnaO:


@IwantPeace, I absolutely agree with this guy. It would seem that his very presence in the house irks you. By “dipping hand” into your pot of soup, I’m pretty sure you don’t mean that literally. You mean he goes to serve himself or what? Do you have a policy of being the one who dishes food to everyone? He shouldn’t eat until you’re there to serve him? Is that what you mean? Babe, you have strength, and beyond that it would make you come off as a difficult person.
When I’m dishing food to baby boy’s friends, it’s really out of courtesy, otherwise, I let them know to feel free to go help themselves.

I’ve learnt that in dealing with your man’s friends and family, it’s a lot easier when you accept them as your very own people...and take them as they come. When they see that you’re not putting on airs around them or disproving of them, y’all will get along very fine, trust me. Plus you’d get less affected by every little thing they do.

The way I grew up, when one person cooks, the other cleans and washes up the dishes. There was a time when baby boy has his brother and two friends living with him, and there would be times when I’ll cook and everyone will eat and stack up the plates in the sink. Most times I’ll wash them up if I’m in the mood, and largely because I hate to see the kitchen untidy. But at certain other times, I wash just mine and leave the rest so they’ll get the message that under normal circumstances they should clean up after themselves. And while I’ve done this, I’ll still go into the living room to shine teeth with them. They can’t even get angry. If I’m pressed to complain at all, I complain to baby boy not his friends... and my attitude towards them won’t change at all.
The point really is that, you go about these things with wisdom.