₦airaland Forum

slimzpresh:
Accepting me for who I am rather than looking for ways to alter my looks and personality. Appreciating who I am and not who you would rather prefer me to be.

kingkakaone:
I like your simple desires but can I ask you a question?

Idontgiveafuck2:
.WALAHI YOU DEY CRAZE KWO? YOU Bleep ,SHE Bleep YOU DEY VEX?

Idontgiveafuck2:
.WALAHI YOU DEY CRAZE KWO? YOU Bleep ,SHE Bleep YOU DEY VEX?

slimzpresh:
What’s that?

kingkakaone:
I want to chat you privately or you can send me pm.
Which would you prefer?

slimzpresh:
You can send me a private message

Sixfeetbelle:
I was in agreement with what you wrote until the last part. There will never be 'a good girl' for someone like the Op.

The problem here is that Op is full of ego and self-righteousness. He wanted a virtuous woman who would be completely loyal to him, despite the cheating on his part, despite the name calling, despite the threats to break up and such, forgetting that people deal differently with emotional issues. He fails to see that being emotionally unavailable was the precursor here (she cheated when they had issues).

Advising him to leave the relationship is good only if Op will endeavour to work on these attributes. Even if he leaves this girl, the cycle will repeat itself with another girl, and may even occur after marriage. If care is not taken, he may abuse her physically.

My two cents.

slimzpresh:
Yes

francislin:
Good morning guys, hope your night was great.

Am in a dilemma right now actually don't know which decision to take at this moment.

Am so sorry am going to stress you guys with a little long right up.
I met my fiancee with whom we have been in a relationship for more than 4 years now and we are already preparing for marriage before the end of the year.

The issue started when the pastor who is counseling us told us we have to make sure we are open to each other and no secret should be kept away from either of us.

Now the issue is when we got home after the class i told her i don't want to keep secret from her anymore as been advised by the pastor and she also did insisting i start first which i did knowing fully well i haven't been that faithful as a guy to her. Actually when i met her she was a virgin, i was the one who dis flowered her, i knew fully well she has never cheated on me based on my own knowledge and understanding, she has been there for me even right in her days in school while she was doing her ND, she visits me anything she is free and doesn't receive calls from guys as expected from ladies who go about, we know each other password and we use each others phone.

When i told her how many girls have had things to do with while we are dating, how many have slept with while she was in school and even while she is around but unaware, i made sure i clear myself with the hope of entering our marriage without any secret even with those she suspected which i denied initially.

I was so surprised when she told me as well that she had a fling twice swearing its just twice with 2 different guys and am the cause of it. stating she only did it once with each of them out of anger and neglect. Although i knew very well am to be blamed in most aspect which she insisted anytime we had issues i always threaten her with breakup and name calling but i told her that is not enough reason for her to do such a thing because i know myself very well i can't stand the sight of a cheating woman that has always been the major causes of my break up and she has been crying insisting i pushed her when i told her i no longer want the relationship when she was in ND she met a guy when we broke up and when she came back we settled again and she left the guy and said she only slept with him once and the second guy was when she was doing her I.T we also had issue she insisted i was calling her all sort of names and she needed someone to confide in and that was how she did it and she regretted every bit of it and she has been praying to God for forgiveness and she doesn't know how to tell me but she swore with her life that those are the people and times she did it. and she is not happy with herself and begging i forgive her.

I know most people will be blaming me but its not a yardstick for her to cheat considering the fact that we never broke up as such. we have already done the introduction and engagement already about settling the list. Now am having different taught going through my mind, because i can not stand a cheating woman, over the years she has been so supportive and caring she has stood by me and am so very close to her family including her parents and they have been so supportive concerning our marriage plans. we have already bought some things needed but right now am still having such feelings inside me because i never expected such a thing from her everywhere both at my work place and where i live people call her my madam she has access to my house anytime no one will ever believe she can do such a thing deep inside me i believe those are the only people she had something with, she has been crying and apologizing and am tempted to call everything off which she has been pleading but again everything has been set date fixed, church is already aware am just confused since that day have not gotten myself and i just hope am not making a mistake.

However she has promised it can never happen again and if it does happen i should kill her or do whatever i please but am still worried. I don't know if am being selfish or not but am just restless.

Please i need advice here please i don't want to make any mistake any further because have also promised to make amend but the taught of it still coming all the time even when i told her i have forgiven her but i still get to remember it, i have even told her about our tradition severally once a woman is married she can't go out and have decided to be faithful but the taught of it still hurts me. Now i don't know what to do, its still between me and her i never told anyone of it.

Now am thinking if to go ahead or to cancel it am just worried and i know the kind of embarrassment and disappointment the both families might face please i need candid advice thanks and God bless you all.

francislin:
Good morning guys, hope your night was great.

Am in a dilemma right now actually don't know which decision to take at this moment.

Am so sorry am going to stress you guys with a little long right up.
I met my fiancee with whom we have been in a relationship for more than 4 years now and we are already preparing for marriage before the end of the year.

The issue started when the pastor who is counseling us told us we have to make sure we are open to each other and no secret should be kept away from either of us.

Now the issue is when we got home after the class i told her i don't want to keep secret from her anymore as been advised by the pastor and she also did insisting i start first which i did knowing fully well i haven't been that faithful as a guy to her. Actually when i met her she was a virgin, i was the one who dis flowered her, i knew fully well she has never cheated on me based on my own knowledge and understanding, she has been there for me even right in her days in school while she was doing her ND, she visits me anything she is free and doesn't receive calls from guys as expected from ladies who go about, we know each other password and we use each others phone.

When i told her how many girls have had things to do with while we are dating, how many have slept with while she was in school and even while she is around but unaware, i made sure i clear myself with the hope of entering our marriage without any secret even with those she suspected which i denied initially.

I was so surprised when she told me as well that she had a fling twice swearing its just twice with 2 different guys and am the cause of it. stating she only did it once with each of them out of anger and neglect. Although i knew very well am to be blamed in most aspect which she insisted anytime we had issues i always threaten her with breakup and name calling but i told her that is not enough reason for her to do such a thing because i know myself very well i can't stand the sight of a cheating woman that has always been the major causes of my break up and she has been crying insisting i pushed her when i told her i no longer want the relationship when she was in ND she met a guy when we broke up and when she came back we settled again and she left the guy and said she only slept with him once and the second guy was when she was doing her I.T we also had issue she insisted i was calling her all sort of names and she needed someone to confide in and that was how she did it and she regretted every bit of it and she has been praying to God for forgiveness and she doesn't know how to tell me but she swore with her life that those are the people and times she did it. and she is not happy with herself and begging i forgive her.

I know most people will be blaming me but its not a yardstick for her to cheat considering the fact that we never broke up as such. we have already done the introduction and engagement already about settling the list. Now am having different taught going through my mind, because i can not stand a cheating woman, over the years she has been so supportive and caring she has stood by me and am so very close to her family including her parents and they have been so supportive concerning our marriage plans. we have already bought some things needed but right now am still having such feelings inside me because i never expected such a thing from her everywhere both at my work place and where i live people call her my madam she has access to my house anytime no one will ever believe she can do such a thing deep inside me i believe those are the only people she had something with, she has been crying and apologizing and am tempted to call everything off which she has been pleading but again everything has been set date fixed, church is already aware am just confused since that day have not gotten myself and i just hope am not making a mistake.

However she has promised it can never happen again and if it does happen i should kill her or do whatever i please but am still worried. I don't know if am being selfish or not but am just restless.

Please i need advice here please i don't want to make any mistake any further because have also promised to make amend but the taught of it still coming all the time even when i told her i have forgiven her but i still get to remember it, i have even told her about our tradition severally once a woman is married she can't go out and have decided to be faithful but the taught of it still hurts me. Now i don't know what to do, its still between me and her i never told anyone of it.

Now am thinking if to go ahead or to cancel it am just worried and i know the kind of embarrassment and disappointment the both families might face please i need candid advice thanks and God bless you all.

luscioustrish:
I'm also confused here..you cheated on her severally,she forgave you..she cheated and you're confused, writing Epistles about how you can't stand a cheating woman?? Are you okay at all?? What stops you from forgiving her?
.
If you don't marry her someone else will.

Olayetan:
The guy is an hypocrite,
He wants the Lady to forgive him for something he can't forgive the lady for.


BTW, happy birthday to you.

slimzpresh:
Hello there

blinking001:
Leave her alone and move on. Please for the sake of your own sanity let her be and move on. Trust me they'll always be a thought of her cheating whenever you two are not around each other. Besides the thought of her past deeds will always hunt you.

RedpillAnalyst:
This is very complex. Men are wired differently from women.

Women love they game of you cheat, I cheat. No man should ever play that silly game.

The thought will continue to haunt the OP for the length of the union.


Op have you ever even thought of the following:

What if she had multiple orgasms in the few stints.

What if the guys dinkum is longer and curvier than yours

What if she quickly inserted back the dinkum into her portal when the guy was fumbling around the entrance.

Maybe she is still retaining dna material from those guys because they went in raw.

Do not proceed unless you seek proper counseling from an elderly person you trust or pastor.