₦airaland Forum

Omar09:
There... I made it perfect.

Good points tho.

Where the hell is CAPSLOCKED? IS HE BANNED AGAIN?

KingSatan:
May Your Heart Desires Be Granted.

Raising children is another journey entirely. Even when you think they are all grown, you still can't get your eyes off them.

KingSatan:
I am not your agemate Mr.

My Thought level is quite different from yours and that is "perception".

For your information, i am not condemning the boy in totality or saying the boy should be cast away just as his mum's immediate relatives have done.

This man loved and loves this boy wholeheartedly. He is only Afraid since the boy have cultivated bad habits.

There are better ways to handle this situation. The woman hasn't done enough and she ran to Nairaland. Next thing she revealed his financial status.

Do you think it is proper?

See this woman for who she is.

The other Child born out of her previous marriage is still living with the man and has a perfect relationship with him.

Think about that.

Vyolet:
Mrsatan sir, as a grandfather, if this woman walks up to you for advice, what would you suggest she do?
Leave the son to sleep under the bridge or what?

24kmagic:
I always say women should be careful because of how the society see things.
Women should try as much as possible to calculate every of their moves before they make them. Because one single mistake and your life is messed up. A man can make that same type of mistake and still get away with it. This is not something feminism or equality can change. Not now, now ever.

How on a will a woman

Davash222:
Nice points you’ve got there, @OP.



Jacqueline22, would like to hear your contribution regarding this.

Oche211:
Lolz....
Relax old lady, I am not responsible for your frustrations...
Channel it somewhere else.
Ladies like you walk around with so much bitterness, anger and resentments.
Quick word of advice, no man wants an old serpent in his house. Be guided.

KingSatan:
Dear Nairalanders,

This is my opinion on the subject that "No Man Should be Encouraged to marry a single mother". It is actually a response to Vyvyanvyvy 's thread on Her husband's decision not to take back their son as agreed before marriage.

Please Click this link for her post https://www.nairaland.com/5731810/husband-doesnt-want-son-come

Over the years, i have disagreed with people who conclude that single mothers marry because they are looking for a "Father Figure" in the life of their children and never because of love. Maybe i was wrong to disagree with them as this story is an eyeopener on how this set of manipulative women always resort to emotional blackmail in order to shame the man when he refuses to give in to their demand of total commitment to their love child or children. The most amazing thing is that her children have a father, but they are never going to blame him for abandoning them or quitting the relationship. They are never going to send the kids to their biological relative or even give the "New Husband" the honour of renaming the children after him. Some of these women even go as far as creating room for segregation.

Now lets get down to business by critically analysing her story.

1. This woman had 2 children (12 and Six years old) from a previous relationship. The Father of her Children is Currently in Italy and told her to move on with her life as he has done. Good Lord knows why he abandoned his own family (Since there is a 3 years gap between the 2 kids, i will assume the first was 3 years old when he left)

2. She claims not to have Her Ex husbands contact or that of his siblings. This should tell you that this woman never had a good relationship with her husband's people and the reason for that is unknown.

2. She got married to this Man 3 Years ago and the marriage has produced a girl who is 2 years old and she is pregnant for another. Good Lord knows this woman loves kids.

3. Before her marriage with the new man was consummated, she confirmed that her husband ACCEPTED THE KIDS LIKE HIS OWN. Was he pretending? I dont think so.

4. Due to financial challenges, they moved to a smaller apartment and lived together with the Girl Child while the boy was sent to live with her elder brother and his wife. All through this period, the man never maltreated the girl child or rejected her.

5. Things got better 3 years later and they moved into a bigger apartment. Life has been good to them at least.

6. Her Husband has reneged on their agreement to bring in their son into the new apartment to live with them. We don't know his reasons but maybe, she will give us a clue in the next point. Remember, the Girl child still lives in peace with him in the house, he treats her just right and they have a perfect relationship.

7. This woman confirmed that her son is now a petty thief. In a space of 3 years, He was caught stealing and beaten like an animal. Whatever he stole is none of our business.

8. She pleaded with her husband to allow the boy to come and live with them and he said NO, his reason "he doesn't want him to damage our children". "Children" includes the girl child from the previous marriage I believe.

9. This boy has been rejected by his mothers immediate relatives (Her brother and Sister) due to his strange behaviours and thieving nature.

10. She claims she foots %70 of the bills in the family. Who knows? Married men will agree that when a woman resorts to emotional blackmail, this is her usual line.

11. This woman reconfirmed that her son is more important than her marriage. Here "I will not take him anywhere why does he have to live like an orphan whyle im alive ? To be honest My son is more important than my marriage and it’s my responsibilities to protect him"

12. Have you also observed that this woman Never talked about "Loving her husband"? Another confirmation that love never existed in the beginning.


My Good Friends, from the points listed above, you will agree with me that this woman married her current husband because she wanted a father figure for her children.

Anyone noticed how she isn't talking about her daughter with the man in question?

Which man will watch a thief come into his house in broad daylight and do nothing about it?

Or you think the man has no clue about your her son's sudden change?

All i see is a man who fears for the future. It's just like asking this woman to accept her Ex-husband just because he promised that he will always love her. Time Changes and People too.

What if the husband is the one trying to bring in his love child who steals? Will the woman allow that without a second thought?

If you are a parent, you will attest to the fact that one negative influence can destroy your perfect child.



My honest advice to this woman is to go back to single parenting. She cannot continue to be married as the marriage was a sham in the first place.

I believe if her current husband is given an opportunity to tell his own side of the story, ears will tingle.

To the young man out there who is about to make this mistake of a lifetime, please read this thread and reconsider.



Mods Of Honour

Lalasticlala
Mynd44
RoyalRoy
OAM4J
dominique
Sissy3


Special Guests of Honour

Daddytime = Veteran in Marital affairs like me i think.

Gofront = Regular Nairaland Troll (No Offence Please )

Ubunja = Controversial Online Malculinity Coach.

Pocochantas = My Favourite African Feminist, Electronic Fight-Mate and Nairaland's Favourite Evening Newspaper

Oyindidi = Poco's Apprentice

Davash222 = Nairalander

AreaFada2 = Nairalander

xendra = Another Upcoming Yoruba Feminist.

SATAN

Ehiscotch:
I must say that your signature and your comment are completely diverse.

KingSatan:
Dear Nairalanders,

This is my opinion on the subject that "No Man Should be Encouraged to marry a single mother". It is actually a response to Vyvyanvyvy 's thread on Her husband's decision not to take back their son as agreed before marriage.

Please Click this link for her post https://www.nairaland.com/5731810/husband-doesnt-want-son-come

Over the years, i have disagreed with people who conclude that single mothers marry because they are looking for a "Father Figure" in the life of their children and never because of love. Maybe i was wrong to disagree with them as this story is an eyeopener on how this set of manipulative women always resort to emotional blackmail in order to shame the man when he refuses to give in to their demand of total commitment to their love child or children. The most amazing thing is that her children have a father, but they are never going to blame him for abandoning them or quitting the relationship. They are never going to send the kids to their biological relative or even give the "New Husband" the honour of renaming the children after him. Some of these women even go as far as creating room for segregation.

Now lets get down to business by critically analysing her story.

1. This woman had 2 children (12 and Six years old) from a previous relationship. The Father of her Children is Currently in Italy and told her to move on with her life as he has done. Good Lord knows why he abandoned his own family (Since there is a 3 years gap between the 2 kids, i will assume the first was 3 years old when he left)

2. She claims not to have Her Ex husbands contact or that of his siblings. This should tell you that this woman never had a good relationship with her husband's people and the reason for that is unknown.

2. She got married to this Man 3 Years ago and the marriage has produced a girl who is 2 years old and she is pregnant for another. Good Lord knows this woman loves kids.

3. Before her marriage with the new man was consummated, she confirmed that her husband ACCEPTED THE KIDS LIKE HIS OWN. Was he pretending? I dont think so.

4. Due to financial challenges, they moved to a smaller apartment and lived together with the Girl Child while the boy was sent to live with her elder brother and his wife. All through this period, the man never maltreated the girl child or rejected her.

5. Things got better 3 years later and they moved into a bigger apartment. Life has been good to them at least.

6. Her Husband has reneged on their agreement to bring in their son into the new apartment to live with them. We don't know his reasons but maybe, she will give us a clue in the next point. Remember, the Girl child still lives in peace with him in the house, he treats her just right and they have a perfect relationship.

7. This woman confirmed that her son is now a petty thief. In a space of 3 years, He was caught stealing and beaten like an animal. Whatever he stole is none of our business.

8. She pleaded with her husband to allow the boy to come and live with them and he said NO, his reason "he doesn't want him to damage our children". "Children" includes the girl child from the previous marriage I believe.

9. This boy has been rejected by his mothers immediate relatives (Her brother and Sister) due to his strange behaviours and thieving nature.

10. She claims she foots %70 of the bills in the family. Who knows? Married men will agree that when a woman resorts to emotional blackmail, this is her usual line.

11. This woman reconfirmed that her son is more important than her marriage. Here "I will not take him anywhere why does he have to live like an orphan whyle im alive ? To be honest My son is more important than my marriage and it’s my responsibilities to protect him"

12. Have you also observed that this woman Never talked about "Loving her husband"? Another confirmation that love never existed in the beginning.


My Good Friends, from the points listed above, you will agree with me that this woman married her current husband because she wanted a father figure for her children.

Anyone noticed how she isn't talking about her daughter with the man in question?

Which man will watch a thief come into his house in broad daylight and do nothing about it?

Or you think the man has no clue about your her son's sudden change?

All i see is a man who fears for the future. It's just like asking this woman to accept her Ex-husband just because he promised that he will always love her. Time Changes and People too.

What if the husband is the one trying to bring in his love child who steals? Will the woman allow that without a second thought?

If you are a parent, you will attest to the fact that one negative influence can destroy your perfect child.



My honest advice to this woman is to go back to single parenting. She cannot continue to be married as the marriage was a sham in the first place.

I believe if her current husband is given an opportunity to tell his own side of the story, ears will tingle.

To the young man out there who is about to make this mistake of a lifetime, please read this thread and reconsider.



Mods Of Honour

Lalasticlala
Mynd44
RoyalRoy
OAM4J
dominique
Sissy3


Special Guests of Honour

Daddytime = Veteran in Marital affairs like me i think.

Gofront = Regular Nairaland Troll (No Offence Please )

Ubunja = Controversial Online Malculinity Coach.

Pocochantas = My Favourite African Feminist, Electronic Fight-Mate and Nairaland's Favourite Evening Newspaper

Oyindidi = Poco's Apprentice

Davash222 = Nairalander

AreaFada2 = Nairalander

xendra = Another Upcoming Yoruba Feminist.




SATAN

Oche211:
I keep to one rule...
No matter how young, beautiful or intelligent a single mother is, I will never go close to her.
Never enter any relationship with her.
I will kill any feeling at all for her.
Single woman, especially the unmarried ones are full of baggages and shits.
They can give trouble for a lifetime.
Especially the unmarried baby Mama's, run as far from them as your legs can carry you unless you are a man that love trouble.

Ehiscotch:
But a woman can marry a single father right?
Such double standard.

If it were the man's child and the woman rejected him because he's stealing what would y'all say?

Oh, the usual bad stepmother narrative would follow.

I no even blame una, na the people wey dey carry personal matter dey come nairaland thinking they have counsellors here naim I blame.

I have seen children live without their parents before — with friends, relatives — and it's bad. They tend to be very rebellious due to a feeling of rejection. It's not very easy growing away from one parent not to talk of two. The child is only twelve and shouldn't even be called a "thief" or even suffer jungle justice.

I can't blame the woman. I don't care what happened in the previous relationship and we should all stop trying to be experts on this because we are not. People make mistakes; this is real life, shit happens.

Danzakidakura:
thank you very much for this piece of advice.i have one presently in Jos, thank God nothing have happen between us.she will always call to accuse me of forgetting her. I am on the run already self.

xendra:
walk around bitter only dumb people think they know everything you sound dumb all over again SMH you are incorrigible

Davash222:
Nice points you’ve got there, @OP.



Jacqueline22, would like to hear your contribution regarding this.

KingSatan:
Dear Nairalanders,

Which man will watch a thief come into his house in broad daylight and do nothing about it?

Or you think the man has no clue about your her son's sudden change?

What if the husband is the one trying to bring in his love child who steals? Will the woman allow that without a second thought?

If you are a parent, you will attest to the fact that one negative influence can destroy your perfect child.

24kmagic:
I always say women should be careful because of how the society see things.
Women should try as much as possible to calculate every of their moves before they make them. Because one single mistake and your life is messed up. A man can make that same type of mistake and still get away with it. This is not something feminism or equality can change. Not now, not ever. Because the father of those two kids might be somewhere now chilling and having a great time.

How on earth will a woman allow herself get pregnant twice for a man whose relatives she doesn't know and who she's not married to?

It's unfortunate the children are the ones who get to suffer for their mother's indiscretions.

If I were the man (even though I can never be because I don't like single mothers), I will allow the boy come into the house. But that father figure she wants for him she'll not get it. I won't give a fvck about him. I won't care whether he continues stealing or not. I won't be the one to train someone's son even though the real father is alive. I won't be the one to pay the price for the sins of another man.

Young girls should know the kind of guys they follow.

Two kids for a man I'm not married to? That's the height of irresponsibility.

Ehiscotch:
Not such a smart response from someone who is looking to get his post on front-page.

Ehiscotch:
Right now. I don't think we have parents on nairaland. All they probably are still immature, really.

Or is it too many movies or what? A child stole at 12 and somebody is asking what he stole, really and is even calling him a thief. See ehn, it's taking me a lot of willpower not to use derogatory words but for the life of me I can't stand the shallow reasoning.

The man really has to reach a compromise. The child doesn't deserve to be abandoned. If the child fails to change after some sort of strict conditioning then you can say you tried.

Failing to try at all means you failed all together.

jelel6:
After reading everything this man had to say here, I must say that people are really NOT NICE in this part of the World.

For a man who claims to be a grandfather, I'm truly disappointed to read such statements filled with senselessness and reflection. MY GOD! OH.

So, A MAN to you is 'some' man who sees a 12 year old boy facing life's struggles with the help of his Mom, the only responsible parent left, then decides to marry the mom into his home while leaving the boy to wander the earth alone?

So, A MAN to you is someone who THINKS the place of a 12 year old boy is not besides his mom and his step dad but WITH an Uncle with his wife?

Will this your version of A MAN take this very own uncle's child himself?

And a grandfather as you call yourself have the temerity and self-righteousness to called a struggling 12 year old boy a thief?

What did he steal? It could be a cup of garri when no food morning till afternoon! Perhaps, he saw Uncle giving his own children lunch money to buy biscuits, and couldn't handle the urge looking at uncle's junior munching biscuits buy the corner alone everyday.

So, you're telling us from your experience as a father that when a child makes a mistake, you send them away from the house to live with uncle's and aunties.

How many of YOUR OWN CHILDREN ARE STILL LEFT WITH YOU AT HOME? Because don't tell me they don't make mistakes even while leaving with their parents.

You even have the GUTS to talk about a "perfect child". Which perfect child?

Be honest and take a moment to reflect on the atrocities you have committed when you were only 12 years old.

Reflect. Reflect. Reflect. Did someone ship you off to Uncle's and Aunties?

It Sucks to be you Sir. I'm only glad I don't have to ever listen to you TALK.

seanwilliam:
People on nairaland are just talking with emotions and not fact/ reality

...
1. How on earth would you get two kids for a person you dont know his family?? This tells the kind of person u are.. the story is not adding up atall.. I need a very clear explanation for this..
2. Wether u pilfering at age 12 or 21 , na still thief you be, in as much you can differentiate your right and left hand then you know what is bad is bad..if his thieving act is not curbed on time , it might metamorphosed to robbery when gets older...every thief has an excuse or touching story.. so it is the responsibility of the woman to make sure the boy is corrected before it's too late

3. That woman shouldnt be an ingrate haba, single MAN married you with your baggage and you still talking as if it is his right to shoulder your mistakes, well you get luck sha
4. That woman doesn't love the man atall.. he married him for her selfish interest
5. Your own family , I mean your people related by blood cant keep up or shoulder your baggage and u wanna make an innocent man to suffer for what he knew nothing about hahahah. You are very wicked..
6. You're still an ingrate, because afterall the man accepted one of the kids, you are not even thankful, and you washing the man dirty linen outside that he is not financially responsible ( u said he doesn't buy things for the daughter) and that you pay 70 % of the Bill's.. let me tell you one thing, pray the man doesn't get to see this on nairaland because if he does, you are a goner already..


.

No matter how u want to say it, you brought this on yourself.. oyinbo say fool me once, you're a fool , fool me twice then I'm indeed a fool( u give person two kids without knowing him relatives?? Hahaha, you self hear am)..



It is not advisable to marry a single mother. no matter how you want to twist it ,it will mostly end in tears.. reasons are
1. The lady cant love you genuinely, she just wants a fatherly figure for her kiddos( this is clearly seen in her write up)
2. In as much as the her ex is alive, Okafor law would always come to play
3. They are very very manipulative
4. You'll be suffering for crime you didnt commit
And soon..


Well solution for the woman now
1. Follow the husband talk heart to heart , he needs be convinced more
2. Take him to boarding house
3. Find the family of his father
4. Talk to parent or relatives of your current husband so they can beg him on your behalf
5. Dont ever think of divorcing again
6. Do family planning..
7. Reduce your ego and be supportive to your current husband, so he could be financially buoyant too
8. Take him to your own parent and go their time to time
9.Stop shouting he promised he promised to shoulder your responsibility, afterall no be everything wey u self promise people u dey give them.. he also has a good reason of not taking the child, he dey fear make the boy no go affect those little girls ( if you are sensible enough, you should also know he's trying to protect una daughters)
10. Pray to God to show u the way
Cc. Vyvyanvyvy
Aro1
Ubunja
Johnspute
Martinez39s
What's you people take on this??




.

.

Hey Kingsatan, how hell fire na

Oche211:
Lolz....
Relax old lady, I am not responsible for your frustrations...
Channel it somewhere else.
Ladies like you walk around with so much bitterness, anger and resentments.
Quick word of advice, no man wants an old serpent in his house. Be guided.

24kmagic:
Lol
Why didn't you allow me finish before mentioning me? I booked space earlier.

Our girls need to wise up. At times I see the kind of boys young girls follow and I begin to wonder the rationale behind their choice.

I keep on asking myself each day, how did God create women of the last forty years? Because our mothers made good choices. Could civilization and education be the reasons for this sudden indiscretions from the female folks?

Asin most Nigerian girls are so, so, without taste.
Asin they no get sense. Even the academically brilliant ones are still found wanting when it comes to choosing a man and relationship in general.

Two kids for a man whose relatives I don't know and whom I'm not married to?

Shame Shame Shame.

Ehiscotch:
But a woman can marry a single father right?
Such double standard.

If it were the man's child and the woman rejected him because he's stealing what would y'all say?

Oh, the usual bad stepmother narrative would follow.

I no even blame una, na the people wey dey carry personal matter dey come nairaland thinking they have counsellors here naim I blame.

I have seen children live without their parents before — with friends, relatives — and it's bad. They tend to be very rebellious due to a feeling of rejection. It's not very easy growing away from one parent not to talk of two. The child is only twelve and shouldn't even be called a "thief" or even suffer jungle justice.

I can't blame the woman. I don't care what happened in the previous relationship and we should all stop trying to be experts on this because we are not. People make mistakes; this is real life, shit happens.