₦airaland Forum

MiVida:
I recently met a girl in school, she's all I want in a woman, she's too beautiful well mannered BUT, she is making life in school hard for me! I've taken her to my parents already and hers are trying to get to know me which is cool.

But the rate at which this girl monitors me in school is embarrassing! I don't have any female friends cos of her. I had to call a good friend of mine (a girl) this afternoon in front of her to tell the girl to keep her space just because my girlfriend saw me give her a hug! I didn't initiate the hug, the girl called out my name and opened her arms and to avoid being rude, you can't decline a hug and that was why it happened.

My girlfriend insists I don't keep female friends, in fact, she prefers I stay alone in school. I'm getting tired, I getting fed up, she's always monitoring me everywhere and I have a reputation to maintain in school. Now I can't laugh over a girl's joke cos I have a girlfriend and it's not like I have time for her in school as that's the only time I have my little freedom, cos outside school she's always at my place and it's suffocating enough...now she brings this attitude to school... I'm tired and don't know what to do!

MarianaTrench:
Haba!

Are you giving advise or writing a book on psychology?!

Leezah:
Choose. Your girlfriend has reason to feel the way she does and you know it.

Maybe.

2 out of 2 times I have ever been jealous of an ex boyfriend's friend (not with every ex boyfriend was this an issue) it was found out later that the female friend was indeed crushing on my boyfriend. Women unlike men tend to “read” people well, especially other women. When in love a woman's intuition especially tends to intensify. Then again so does her jealousy so this can be a tricky situation that requires some reflection and honesty with yourself and openness with your girlfriend.

Some of what made me feel jealous in these times was intuition, but some things I just simply understand by being a female myself and having many female friends. I knew certain subtle things females do when they like a guy and saw it. Even personally I crushed on guy friends before and some never suspected it. So it's definitely possible your girlfriend sees something you don't.

Anyways, aside from intuition and certain gestures i saw, I noticed that these 2 boyfriends would run to the female friend with all the problems we had as though she was his “refuge”. This is growing intimacy with your friend instead of your girlfriend and a BIG NO-NO. It would have been better that they went to an older and wiser man for counsel than to her.

Although you may go to your female friend for advice with other problems you should never ever come to her with relationship problems. Friends of the opposite shouldn't know all the intimate details of your relationship. As soon as you have a girlfriend this is the most immediate way in which your friendship to your friend should change. By you coming to her you are now showing her what sort of romantic partner you are and how “romantically compatible” you now are with her.

Women are weird. As soon as you deeply open up about these conditions of your heart, etc, we cant help but to at least wonder if we are romantically compatible especially since we come out the womb being relationship/love oriented. Unless you want your female friend trying to now question secretively if you and her are compatible its best you leave her in the dark about this “intimate” side of you or only expose this side of you when you are single. Also don't break up with your girlfriend and the next day run to your female about the issues. Especially in young love people break up then 2 months later are back together.

Overall allowing a female friend to see these aspects of you should be when you are single (via the title of being single and via emotionally being untied to anyone). Then and only then you should share your romantic/relationship characteristics with your opposite sexed friend and even then just know you are opening the strong possibility that this friend will now start qualifying and disqualifying you as a romantic partner.

If you want female advice then ask older women but maybe not your mom or those who would have too much bias and too easily take your side. Maybe Nairaland could be good however take every answer with a grain of salt including my own. Honestly relationships and determining what is acceptable and not acceptable is personal and takes personal reflection. You can't just take advice for everything.

I especially think in todays world with so many boys raised without fathers its not good to get all your relationship do's and don't from females. You shouldn't think like a female when dating a female. You should think like a man. For the most part men have to be more patient and giving in certain areas of relationships and women should be more patient in othe areas. Learning intimate relationships is not like learning to be politically correct or learning what's publicly proper. Although I do recommend reading relationship books from people who share your same vision of intimate relationships dating someone is the foundation in an intimate world you are creating and everyone is different in what they can accept or what they prefer. People's preferences in love ranges from the most traditional to the grotesque…

Meditate on what you want. Overall if this is a woman who fits every aspect of your vision of an intimate relationship than her opinion does matter. At the end of a day you and HER will be the main creators of a world between your walls and conforming to her in all aspects that's reasonably possible and vice versa is key in making a lasting relationship (keyword:reasonable).

Overall there are many questions you have to ask before you seek to end your friendship. In my own situation both of these boyfriends much later “confessed” that they deeply knew the female friend liked them since I first mentioned my jealousy but they thought it wasn't a big deal unless they fed into it. Personally I felt these were feeding into it (again men don't tend to know the world of female emotion as well). Can you honestly and I mean SINCERELY look at all the encounters with your female friend say that beyond a shadow of a doubt this friend has absolutely, and I mean absolutely has no crush on you? Honestly not even her having a boyfriend matters. Having a boyfriend doesn't stop one from having basic human desires towards another. In divorce courts we see this clearly, so of course in simply dating we can't deny this simple fact of life.

Anywho, despite my own experiences, at the end of the day I would not say it's the best solution to always cut off the female friend just because your girlfriend is jealous especially without considering these things I mentioned.

Many times we date just to date and practice a long term commitment.

Look at everything mentioned here, reflect, keep intimate problems away from opposite sexed friend, and determine your motivation in dating the woman you're with. Is she practice or is she the one?
Is she seeing something you don't or is it jealous?
Is it every female friend and interaction that makes her jealous or is it just this one friend?
Is not conforming to her in this way worth risking a lifetime of not having her by your side?
Many questions to ask before you take any action.

Blackking98:
No be lie, if she keeps male friends then the guy is in real bondage

CELEBRITIZ:
I'm an Exco in redeemer Corper Lodge Abuja, second in command after the Papa(president). I started dating the LOML two months ago and she exhibit the same traits as your girl friend. The reason why she acts this way Is because she is madly and crazily in love with you and she is scared of loosing you. I have assured my girl billion of times, she goes through my messages why I sometimes she doesn't allow me do the same. Yours is even okay, she hate when I laugh with ladies in the lodge. We have fought countless of times and I have begged her billions of times. We just have to carry our cross. She said she is scared those ladies will steal me away or I'll fall in love with them that's why she is killing every little move so it will never happen under her watch. That's the reason why she is acting that way. Same thing with your girl too. But you are still young and still in school though

MiVida:
I recently met a girl in school, she's all I want in a woman, she's too beautiful well mannered BUT, she is making life in school hard for me! I've taken her to my parents already and hers are trying to get to know me which is cool.

But the rate at which this girl monitors me in school is embarrassing! I don't have any female friends cos of her. I had to call a good friend of mine (a girl) this afternoon in front of her to tell the girl to keep her space just because my girlfriend saw me give her a hug! I didn't initiate the hug, the girl called out my name and opened her arms and to avoid being rude, you can't decline a hug and that was why it happened.

My girlfriend insists I don't keep female friends, in fact, she prefers I stay alone in school. I'm getting tired, I getting fed up, she's always monitoring me everywhere and I have a reputation to maintain in school. Now I can't laugh over a girl's joke cos I have a girlfriend and it's not like I have time for her in school as that's the only time I have my little freedom, cos outside school she's always at my place and it's suffocating enough...now she brings this attitude to school... I'm tired and don't know what to do!

tunize:
She will definitely keep male friends girls can't do without male friends bros i'm talking from experience.

jydmak:
end the distractive relationship now and you both should focus on your study first.

Leezah:
Choose. Your girlfriend has reason to feel the way she does and you know it.

Maybe.

2 out of 2 times I have ever been jealous of an ex boyfriend's friend (not with every ex boyfriend was this an issue) it was found out later that the female friend was indeed crushing on my boyfriend. Women unlike men tend to “read” people well, especially other women. When in love a woman's intuition especially tends to intensify. Then again so does her jealousy so this can be a tricky situation that requires some reflection and honesty with yourself and openness with your girlfriend.

Some of what made me feel jealous in these times was intuition, but some things I just simply understand by being a female myself and having many female friends. I knew certain subtle things females do when they like a guy and saw it. Even personally I crushed on guy friends before and some never suspected it. So it's definitely possible your girlfriend sees something you don't.

Anyways, aside from intuition and certain gestures i saw, I noticed that these 2 boyfriends would run to the female friend with all the problems we had as though she was his “refuge”. This is growing intimacy with your friend instead of your girlfriend and a BIG NO-NO. It would have been better that they went to an older and wiser man for counsel than to her.

Although you may go to your female friend for advice with other problems you should never ever come to her with relationship problems. Friends of the opposite shouldn't know all the intimate details of your relationship. As soon as you have a girlfriend this is the most immediate way in which your friendship to your friend should change. By you coming to her you are now showing her what sort of romantic partner you are and how “romantically compatible” you now are with her.

Women are weird. As soon as you deeply open up about these conditions of your heart, etc, we cant help but to at least wonder if we are romantically compatible especially since we come out the womb being relationship/love oriented. Unless you want your female friend trying to now question secretively if you and her are compatible its best you leave her in the dark about this “intimate” side of you or only expose this side of you when you are single. Also don't break up with your girlfriend and the next day run to your female about the issues. Especially in young love people break up then 2 months later are back together.

Overall allowing a female friend to see these aspects of you should be when you are single (via the title of being single and via emotionally being untied to anyone). Then and only then you should share your romantic/relationship characteristics with your opposite sexed friend and even then just know you are opening the strong possibility that this friend will now start qualifying and disqualifying you as a romantic partner.

If you want female advice then ask older women but maybe not your mom or those who would have too much bias and too easily take your side. Maybe Nairaland could be good however take every answer with a grain of salt including my own. Honestly relationships and determining what is acceptable and not acceptable is personal and takes personal reflection. You can't just take advice for everything.

I especially think in todays world with so many boys raised without fathers its not good to get all your relationship do's and don't from females. You shouldn't think like a female when dating a female. You should think like a man. For the most part men have to be more patient and giving in certain areas of relationships and women should be more patient in othe areas. Learning intimate relationships is not like learning to be politically correct or learning what's publicly proper. Although I do recommend reading relationship books from people who share your same vision of intimate relationships dating someone is the foundation in an intimate world you are creating and everyone is different in what they can accept or what they prefer. People's preferences in love ranges from the most traditional to the grotesque…

Meditate on what you want. Overall if this is a woman who fits every aspect of your vision of an intimate relationship than her opinion does matter. At the end of a day you and HER will be the main creators of a world between your walls and conforming to her in all aspects that's reasonably possible and vice versa is key in making a lasting relationship (keyword:reasonable).

Overall there are many questions you have to ask before you seek to end your friendship. In my own situation both of these boyfriends much later “confessed” that they deeply knew the female friend liked them since I first mentioned my jealousy but they thought it wasn't a big deal unless they fed into it. Personally I felt these were feeding into it (again men don't tend to know the world of female emotion as well). Can you honestly and I mean SINCERELY look at all the encounters with your female friend say that beyond a shadow of a doubt this friend has absolutely, and I mean absolutely has no crush on you? Honestly not even her having a boyfriend matters. Having a boyfriend doesn't stop one from having basic human desires towards another. In divorce courts we see this clearly, so of course in simply dating we can't deny this simple fact of life.

Anywho, despite my own experiences, at the end of the day I would not say it's the best solution to always cut off the female friend just because your girlfriend is jealous especially without considering these things I mentioned.

Many times we date just to date and practice a long term commitment.

Look at everything mentioned here, reflect, keep intimate problems away from opposite sexed friend, and determine your motivation in dating the woman you're with. Is she practice or is she the one?
Is she seeing something you don't or is it jealous?
Is it every female friend and interaction that makes her jealous or is it just this one friend?
Is not conforming to her in this way worth risking a lifetime of not having her by your side?
Many questions to ask before you take any action.

MiVida:
I had to lie at a time in order for us not to see eachother for days and even at that time, she got data and couldn't stop texting me on WhatsApp or calling my line... I'm just tired[b]! She went for lectures now, that's why I have room to type this sef[/b]

MiVida:
I recently met a girl in school, she's all I want in a woman, she's too beautiful well mannered BUT, she is making life in school hard for me! I've taken her to my parents already and hers are trying to get to know me which is cool.

But the rate at which this girl monitors me in school is embarrassing! I don't have any female friends cos of her. I had to call a good friend of mine (a girl) this afternoon in front of her to tell the girl to keep her space just because my girlfriend saw me give her a hug! I didn't initiate the hug, the girl called out my name and opened her arms and to avoid being rude, you can't decline a hug and that was why it happened.

My girlfriend insists I don't keep female friends, in fact, she prefers I stay alone in school. I'm getting tired, I getting fed up, she's always monitoring me everywhere and I have a reputation to maintain in school. Now I can't laugh over a girl's joke cos I have a girlfriend and it's not like I have time for her in school as that's the only time I have my little freedom, cos outside school she's always at my place and it's suffocating enough...now she brings this attitude to school... I'm tired and don't know what to do!

tunize:
The way u lay ur bed na so u go lie on top am. Bros u be man act like one nor let woman dey control u like remote
See that babe of urs will deprive u of all ur friends, including males very soon and she will do it in a way that u cant do without her like its only u and her in this whole world, even if she's misbehaving u won't have a sey and eventually she go live u for anoda guy. I pity u shall

nappy760:
did your parents send you to school to find a wife?...just curious

Blackking98:
he needs to wise up and step out of the bondage she's put him in

MiVida:
I recently met a girl in school, she's all I want in a woman, she's too beautiful well mannered BUT, she is making life in school hard for me! I've taken her to my parents already and hers are trying to get to know me which is cool.

But the rate at which this girl monitors me in school is embarrassing! I don't have any female friends cos of her. I had to call a good friend of mine (a girl) this afternoon in front of her to tell the girl to keep her space just because my girlfriend saw me give her a hug! I didn't initiate the hug, the girl called out my name and opened her arms and to avoid being rude, you can't decline a hug and that was why it happened.

My girlfriend insists I don't keep female friends, in fact, she prefers I stay alone in school. I'm getting tired, I getting fed up, she's always monitoring me everywhere and I have a reputation to maintain in school. Now I can't laugh over a girl's joke cos I have a girlfriend and it's not like I have time for her in school as that's the only time I have my little freedom, cos outside school she's always at my place and it's suffocating enough...now she brings this attitude to school... I'm tired and don't know what to do!

tunize:
The way u lay ur bed na so u go lie on top am. Bros u be man act like one nor let woman dey control u like remote
See that babe of urs will deprive u of all ur friends, including males very soon and she will do it in a way that u cant do without her like its only u and her in this whole world, even if she's misbehaving u won't have a sey and eventually she go live u for anoda guy. I pity u shall

tunize:
Yes oooh

5thAngel:
I am the female version of you. Although I'm still in the relationship, I have little or no freedom. I cannot interact with a male friend or acquaintance without answering to a barrage of questions. Cuz of this, i only have one female friend who is close to him also, no male friends. I cant go out on my own volition, and if I do, he'll think i've slept with every male in town. What im getting at is, if there's no trust from the get go, then it's not worth it. love still keeps me here, and i feel if i let him go, i'll be alone as I dont have anyone i can call a close friend.

dannex4adx:
tunize! God bless you. You have said it all.I was dating the same type of girl before, until I changed it for her one day. she later left me. if the guy doesn't stop all this nonsense for the girl now, she will spoil your life and leave you for a better person. Even if you marry her, you may not live long because she will not give you rest of mind. you better leave emotion and use your brain. she will even turn your back against your family. Act fast now before it is too late! don't let lust decide for you.

Leezah:
Choose. Your girlfriend has reason to feel the way she does and you know it.

Maybe.

2 out of 2 times I have ever been jealous of an ex boyfriend's friend (not with every ex boyfriend was this an issue) it was found out later that the female friend was indeed crushing on my boyfriend. Women unlike men tend to “read” people well, especially other women. When in love a woman's intuition especially tends to intensify. Then again so does her jealousy so this can be a tricky situation that requires some reflection and honesty with yourself and openness with your girlfriend.

Some of what made me feel jealous in these times was intuition, but some things I just simply understand by being a female myself and having many female friends. I knew certain subtle things females do when they like a guy and saw it. Even personally I crushed on guy friends before and some never suspected it. So it's definitely possible your girlfriend sees something you don't.

Anyways, aside from intuition and certain gestures i saw, I noticed that these 2 boyfriends would run to the female friend with all the problems we had as though she was his “refuge”. This is growing intimacy with your friend instead of your girlfriend and a BIG NO-NO. It would have been better that they went to an older and wiser man for counsel than to her.

Although you may go to your female friend for advice with other problems you should never ever come to her with relationship problems. Friends of the opposite shouldn't know all the intimate details of your relationship. As soon as you have a girlfriend this is the most immediate way in which your friendship to your friend should change. By you coming to her you are now showing her what sort of romantic partner you are and how “romantically compatible” you now are with her.

Women are weird. As soon as you deeply open up about these conditions of your heart, etc, we cant help but to at least wonder if we are romantically compatible especially since we come out the womb being relationship/love oriented. Unless you want your female friend trying to now question secretively if you and her are compatible its best you leave her in the dark about this “intimate” side of you or only expose this side of you when you are single. Also don't break up with your girlfriend and the next day run to your female about the issues. Especially in young love people break up then 2 months later are back together.

Overall allowing a female friend to see these aspects of you should be when you are single (via the title of being single and via emotionally being untied to anyone). Then and only then you should share your romantic/relationship characteristics with your opposite sexed friend and even then just know you are opening the strong possibility that this friend will now start qualifying and disqualifying you as a romantic partner.

If you want female advice then ask older women but maybe not your mom or those who would have too much bias and too easily take your side. Maybe Nairaland could be good however take every answer with a grain of salt including my own. Honestly relationships and determining what is acceptable and not acceptable is personal and takes personal reflection. You can't just take advice for everything.

I especially think in todays world with so many boys raised without fathers its not good to get all your relationship do's and don't from females. You shouldn't think like a female when dating a female. You should think like a man. For the most part men have to be more patient and giving in certain areas of relationships and women should be more patient in othe areas. Learning intimate relationships is not like learning to be politically correct or learning what's publicly proper. Although I do recommend reading relationship books from people who share your same vision of intimate relationships dating someone is the foundation in an intimate world you are creating and everyone is different in what they can accept or what they prefer. People's preferences in love ranges from the most traditional to the grotesque…

Meditate on what you want. Overall if this is a woman who fits every aspect of your vision of an intimate relationship than her opinion does matter. At the end of a day you and HER will be the main creators of a world between your walls and conforming to her in all aspects that's reasonably possible and vice versa is key in making a lasting relationship (keyword:reasonable).

Overall there are many questions you have to ask before you seek to end your friendship. In my own situation both of these boyfriends much later “confessed” that they deeply knew the female friend liked them since I first mentioned my jealousy but they thought it wasn't a big deal unless they fed into it. Personally I felt these were feeding into it (again men don't tend to know the world of female emotion as well). Can you honestly and I mean SINCERELY look at all the encounters with your female friend say that beyond a shadow of a doubt this friend has absolutely, and I mean absolutely has no crush on you? Honestly not even her having a boyfriend matters. Having a boyfriend doesn't stop one from having basic human desires towards another. In divorce courts we see this clearly, so of course in simply dating we can't deny this simple fact of life.

Anywho, despite my own experiences, at the end of the day I would not say it's the best solution to always cut off the female friend just because your girlfriend is jealous especially without considering these things I mentioned.

Many times we date just to date and practice a long term commitment.

Look at everything mentioned here, reflect, keep intimate problems away from opposite sexed friend, and determine your motivation in dating the woman you're with. Is she practice or is she the one?
Is she seeing something you don't or is it jealous?
Is it every female friend and interaction that makes her jealous or is it just this one friend?
Is not conforming to her in this way worth risking a lifetime of not having her by your side?
Many questions to ask before you take any action.

Akanoaaa:
Don't be surprise when you realize this girl still cheats on you after all this her monitoring wahala. Don't be manipulated.