Ubunja
Your help is needed

Sam119:
OP if she is really into u, she will fight to break protocols and any cultural ish just to be with u for life.
Bro, let her be and focus on ur goals in life to be a better person. But if she comes back tomorrow and u decide to take her back, then ur village people is using ur head to play draft, trust me.
Bro Code: Never be a standby Gen. when ever NEPA light is gone.

Gbam!

If na your fellow guy you for say you no get

Giwoni:
My Love Experience

Good day NLanders

I'm a medical student, and gf ( not sure what to call her now) is in MLS. We are both in same level (500l).

It all started in 2015, when we gained admission into the University. We began to read together and subsequently I started teaching her. Later on, she made me to read and susummarize her course topics (which I did for up to her 300 level) for her as she usually found it difficult to read with textbooks and understand the contents.

Months before my 2nd MBBS examinations, I began to notice changes in her attitude and behaviour towards me, up to the point that she told me that if I did not pass that examinations that, she will forget about me. But as God may have it, I passed successfully.

Financially, it started right in year one as I celebrated her and her mummy's Christmas from my own pocket. It got to a point that I usually give her her money almost every day (for up to 5yrs) Whenever, I'm traveling in any of our vacations, I usually give money for upkeep until I'm back.

In 300l, I bought her gift worth almost 30k and also celebrated her birthday which she demanded I get her 'point and kill cat fish' that cost 9k.

I usually pay for her textbooks and seminar work as we are all in medical school, I really do a lot for her, as she always told me she would never leave me right from yr 1 to 500l after which she started telling me, their people from Anambra will not let her marry people from Ebonyi State.

She's has known this for all her life, but decided to bring it up just now, when I'm beginning my marriage plans with her, She's started giving me unnecessary excuses in one form or the other.

In 400L, my elder brother told me that I should leave my medical school here to go and study the same medicine abroad. Because of her, I told him that I want to finish my school here since I am already in 400 level. That after my MBBS degree, I can then go abroad for my Masters degree...

This January, my elder brother told me that since I would be graduating in 2022 (which supposed to be 2021 but due to strike before the 2019 election) which is two years time, that I should be planning to get married before I leave this country.

This made me to ask her again if we are ending up together and she told me that she has to seek for her mother's consent, and would give me a feedback.

Before, she travelled (this is just before the lock down) as she was complaining that she does not have any money on her to eat and she want to go and learn how to plait hair which will cost her #8,000, I gave her #16,000. The next day after collecting the money, she told me that she received a call from her mother that she must come back to her State and she travelled with that money without learning anything.

Yesterday by 8:24pm, I called her to tell me the outcome of her mother's discussion with her. She told me that her mother insisted that she cannot marry an Ebonyi man, and she cannot go outside her mother's decision.

In conclusion, she told me that she cannot marry me.

Well, as expected, I'm bracing myself up for insults, (I really don't mind this right now) but amidst the insults, pls advice a brother who's fighting emotionally.

thanks

You be Classic text book maga, d highest I have spend on any one girl na 1k

Spaceclenzy1:
Is one of those things.. She might still come back.. Women are jst like dat.. Dnt beat urself up too much.. Loving can never be a crime no matter the outcome.. U did all that because u love her.. She jst feel lik confirming hw it will be outside.. When she test other guys she will come back.. Don't beat urself up at all

Should he now accept her if she comes back? @Op I understand how it will hurt you. Everybody went through it at some points. It will only make you a stronger and better person. Someone better is waiting for you outside there if you two don't end up together. Moreso, If you've been spending on her and her mum and it's at this time her mum is saying you can't marry her, both mother and daughter are dangerous, Bro. Run for your life, Bro. I tell you.

Spaceclenzy1:
Is one of those things.. She might still come back.. Women are jst like dat.. Dnt beat urself up too much.. Loving can never be a crime no matter the outcome.. U did all that because u love her.. She jst feel lik confirming hw it will be outside.. When she test other guys she will come back.. Don't beat urself up at all

so after all the Enugu abi na Anambra guys don chop her finish then she go come carry her liability come dump for the op?

That girl is not only self-centered but she's an enemy of progress. If I had a boyfriend whose family wanted to sponsor his education in London I would have encouraged him to go for either one of this reasons ,"for our betterment in the future as a couple .or, I know am not going to marry him so I won't want to hinder or delay his progress". but instead she kept him for her Monetary wants.

missimelda01:


Is sex the only thing your mom offered your dad? Please I'm not having this conversation with you, the person I asked the question has answered.

How will you even think of comparing women of those days to our present day girls?? Women of those days were disciplined ,but today we see the opposite among our young women .. I expected the guy your replied to give you a perfect reply to this insult ,your poured on his mom..But d guy didn't impress me at all.
Missimelda01 how could you compare women of,60s,70s,to these 90s/2000 set of ladies walking nude everywhere. Giving out their pussies,like the normal hand shake to anything that has deek,they come in contact with daily? How could you compare our mothers to this generation of girls ,who sell their destiny over a plate of pepper soup ,plate of rice or front seat of a car? Missimelda01 don't make that mistake again,because you just can't compare them.

Op ,ur matter just tire me seriously..Even if it was actually her mom's opinion to breakup with you,then her action would have even helped you a little to recover fast. But it's obvious the girl was using you all those times,but don't cry too much. She will get even worst of this same thing she did to you.
Hand go meet her,cux what goes around....

For all those saying she paid with sex.. Didn't she enjoy the sex more? Small time they will say they r not oloshos,but they collect money for sex on code. Any female who collect money for sex can be referred to as an...Olosho....also known as an.....Okpo.........
Now tell me ,who is deceiving who?

Non indigent person??

We like to speak big English too much on ds nairaland.

Chi59:

I have no clue. When my ex just started acting funny, he wanted a break, I didn't really think much of it. The break broke up what we had, but it never crossed my mind. Till one or two years after when I started hearing about anambra people. Different stories from different people. I matched it up with what I had noticed in him and what he told me about his family. I started seeing a probable reason why he must have acted the way he did.
Whatever their reasons are, are not tenable. Why carry on a relationship with someone when you know that your people will not allow you to marry a non indigent person? And I think this issue of not having a mind of their own is a major contributor to the problem.

OP, learn from the great tai2. You suffer from artificial control. Please read this thread and save yourself in future. Never sacrifice yourself for a woman. Save yourself first.

https://www.nairaland.com/396243/how-maintain-control-woman/

Wicked parents have influenced her mind

Tribalism amongst the same tribe

Shame to de.mothers

Bro move on with your life. She doesn't love you as you do. Even if you marry her you won't be happy in that marriage. Your wife should love you more or at least 50-50 at the beginning cos once kids comes in the family, women begins to push some of their love to their children. For men, they continue to love their wife. If really she loves you, your state wouldn't be a problem or she would put up a fight at least. It's obvious she can't marry you. Forget her n what you spent( it's little cash compared to what is ahead).

Bros eh, come and marry me. I'm single and ready to mingle. One man's meat na another person poison.

My brother, my advise to u is let her go, any lady that place u on second choice, she did not worth u. Never become an aption for a lady be a choice.

In 400L, my elder brother told me that I should leave my medical school here to go and study the same medicine abroad. Because of her, I told him that I want to finish my school here since I am already in 400 level. That after my MBBS degree, I can then go abroad for my Masters degree...

Na this line u for Bleep up big time. May God give u brain nxt chance.

Giwoni(
You are a blessed man! You are truly blessed! That liability is now going to be off your back.

Be jumping for joy. You didn't even need a cunning way to get rid of her. She got rid of herself.

My friend, stop throwing pearls before swine. With what you've written, there's nothing special about her. She's just an empty full-of-herself-parasite that had been leeching off you. You get married to that type, even N10 pocket money for junior will be "go and ask your daddy".

You deserve better! Say to yourself "I deserve better!". If it is true to spent so much on her as you said, it shows you'll treat your wife like a queen. You need someone that'll treat you like a king. You don't need someone who looks down on your tribe. So what if you're Ebonyi? Is it because you guys don't love money? You guys are simple that is all. You're different from other Igbos does not mean you're not human. At least, I know you'll not use me as a sacrifice or when names of those on death row in Cambodia are mention for drug trafficking, your kinsman name won't be there.

You're from a fairly rich background. You have a bright future in front of you. After finishing uni, don't be too quick to rush into marriage o! Marriage may mess up many plans. You may want to further and probably settle in the US for example where you can easily earn $200,000+ a year as a doctor.

Further your studies, get a good job and then settle down. She'll be filled with jealousy later.

Apostle Paul said, "He who thinks is something when he is nothing is deceiving himself". Don't you think Apostle Paul was right?

You too, stop lavishing money on women. Many girls will love you without spending a dime on them. What if you don't have?

Chi59:

Not just ebonyi, add Imo and abia.

Ebonyi is worst, they see them as bush people and you won't blame them because a lot them full Anambra and the way most of them behaves. Hmm....

Imo and Abia is not really a problem for Anambra.

Johntitus:


Oh.... First love is too complicated. You go just dey act like Jesus.

Exactly!

Why do some guys feel it's okay to shoulder responsibility of a girl they are not married to? For Christ sake, what happened to her parents or family members..

@OP If you want my honest opinion, the lady has right to choose whoever she wants to spend the rest of her life with regardless of your expenses/investment (that one na your cup of coffee).
You better dust yourself up and move on with life, complete you medical degree programme, look out for other beautiful ladies and start a relationship and forget about the ingrate.

fattprince:

Op has this bro has said she will come back. So here is where my own advice comes in. Anytime she comes make sure you kick her ass out of your face. I mean it literally. Like tell her you don't want her again then she will beg you while shedding tears but don't say anything. Then when she realise that you wouldn't heed to her pleading and when she wants to start going KICK HER IN HER BUTT. Then tell her to go fvck with her Enugu guys

Guy , you better respect yourself, shey to cry done dey hungry you?
Where did you see him mention Enugu?

I knw there are sum men going tru this kind tin right nw....y'all should learn una lessons oo

yesloaded:

learn and move with your life but please parent should know this is 21st century, it baffles me when a parent will say their anambra son can't marry Imo gal or Ebonyi gal can't marry Abia man. I've seen this countlesss time n it's very bad despite the fact that you guys soeaks Igbo. many Yoruba men married Igbo gals and many Igbo men marry Yoruba gals, Hausa gals etc. we need to stop this act of stigmatization.

Anambra men marry Imo women more than their own women because Imo women are more or less the prettiest set of Igbo women and they are too classy and educated to be ignored, even Imo men dont marry outside Imo state because they want to marry Imo women... The problem is that Ebonyi people are seen as primitive people that is why people reject their marriage proposal.

RonaldoVido:


Hungry girls are heart breakers.

Let me instruct you on how to date a hungry girl.

1. Don't give her money : Its not being wicked. It's being careful. In my life, I have helped more hungry men than women. They are both thesame. A hungry person is a destroyer and this stems from resentment and unhappiness. A hungry person takes delight in seeing a happier person cry. It's human psychology. Have you ever seen someone say, " You won't have this, I won't have this, rather we destroy it, nobody will have it ". That is the average mentality of a hungry person.

2. A hungry person is naturally ungrateful: It takes gratefulness to be rich. " When you praise a great man for what he has done, he will do more " . This is an adage, it is true for humans and for God. When you praise God or show gratitude, he does more. Poor people are naturally ungrateful people. A poor person will prefer to grumble than be grateful. Poverty breeds ungratefulness, likewise ungratefulness breeds poverty.

3. Poor people have a sense of entitlement: That girl is just using that state or origin thing as an excuse, she doesn't love you. She believes you owe her upkeep because she is poor and you are rich. How come you never saw this attitude in her all this while ?

4. Never invest in a woman unless, she is your wife, mother or sisters. This one needs no explanation.

5. You probably never bleeped this girl. In this modern world, a girl you have not bleeped, believes there is nothing between you and her. This is the ugly sinful truth.

Well said. Most poor people are ingrate. Instead of showing appreciation, they will look for a way to bring you down

Giwoni:
My Love Experience

Good day NLanders

I'm a medical student, and gf ( not sure what to call her now) is in MLS. We are both in same level (500l).

It all started in 2015, when we gained admission into the University. We began to read together and subsequently I started teaching her. Later on, she made me to read and susummarize her course topics (which I did for up to her 300 level) for her as she usually found it difficult to read with textbooks and understand the contents.

Months before my 2nd MBBS examinations, I began to notice changes in her attitude and behaviour towards me, up to the point that she told me that if I did not pass that examinations that, she will forget about me. But as God may have it, I passed successfully.

Financially, it started right in year one as I celebrated her and her mummy's Christmas from my own pocket. It got to a point that I usually give her her money almost every day (for up to 5yrs) Whenever, I'm traveling in any of our vacations, I usually give money for upkeep until I'm back.

In 300l, I bought her gift worth almost 30k and also celebrated her birthday which she demanded I get her 'point and kill cat fish' that cost 9k.

I usually pay for her textbooks and seminar work as we are all in medical school, I really do a lot for her, as she always told me she would never leave me right from yr 1 to 500l after which she started telling me, their people from Anambra will not let her marry people from Ebonyi State.

She's has known this for all her life, but decided to bring it up just now, when I'm beginning my marriage plans with her, She's started giving me unnecessary excuses in one form or the other.

In 400L, my elder brother told me that I should leave my medical school here to go and study the same medicine abroad. Because of her, I told him that I want to finish my school here since I am already in 400 level. That after my MBBS degree, I can then go abroad for my Masters degree...

This January, my elder brother told me that since I would be graduating in 2022 (which supposed to be 2021 but due to strike before the 2019 election) which is two years time, that I should be planning to get married before I leave this country.

This made me to ask her again if we are ending up together and she told me that she has to seek for her mother's consent, and would give me a feedback.

Before, she travelled (this is just before the lock down) as she was complaining that she does not have any money on her to eat and she want to go and learn how to plait hair which will cost her #8,000, I gave her #16,000. The next day after collecting the money, she told me that she received a call from her mother that she must come back to her State and she travelled with that money without learning anything.

Yesterday by 8:24pm, I called her to tell me the outcome of her mother's discussion with her. She told me that her mother insisted that she cannot marry an Ebonyi man, and she cannot go outside her mother's decision.

In conclusion, she told me that she cannot marry me.

Well, as expected, I'm bracing myself up for insults, (I really don't mind this right now) but amidst the insults, pls advice a brother who's fighting emotionally.

thanks

Dear Nairalanders is there a way I can upload that song. Anyway it goes thus. Omo see Broda, Broda, Broda wey mumu...

Giwoni:
is not that I have too much money but it that she was my first love! Thanks

This guy no be for here o. U don whack aswear...

DominusPrime:
I'm happy you've braced up for insults. You are a really big fool not to know that you cannot train a lady through the university and she will end up with you. Only a minute number will. A whole medical student? This gullible? When in my school medical students are the most sought after you are here being fooled by a young girl.
Let me tell you what a girl told me just b4 she broke up with her bf cos of a doctor. Her mum told her that even though she's studying mls she must come back with a doctor as husband o. Cos the other girls who are marrying doctors don't have extra breast and yansh and she cannot understand why she will send her to medical school and she will say she married a radiographer...
To be honest that is the most wicked thing I've heard a mother tell her daughter about any man in the medical field irrespective of designation but that's to tell u how much doctors are sought after cos everyone knows they run out of the country once they are done. So for u to be played for a fool right from 200 level beats me. Now who is better off after you both count your losses? Of course she is cos that money you gave her could have been used to better yourself or just left in the bank to accumulate dust. Hope you've learnt your life lesson. We as men must fall mugu to get wisdom. All of us bashing you have been in this shoes but yours is by far the dumbest I've ever seen.

Wait, you even passed up an opportunity to travel out cos of her? Ah my brother whomever do you this thing no go die well...even the ladies here would laugh at your stupidity...

bro move on man a lot of fish in ocean ,,,keep ur head up.but u self Bleep up ooo u dey gv babe money,?

Igbo girls. So predictable

OP she's not meant for you even though you may not know
When you finally meet your wife, guy you will start laughing at yourself
95% of young people always act mumu in their first relationship
I'm from Enugu and I know that it's a difficult thing for Anambra girl to marry Abakaliki man.
You will meet your dream girl as time goes on

[quote author=callmeRichie post=88670184][/quote] Late 20s

My brother I am not going to insult you but will tell you the fact in black and white. That girl in question never loved you, she only used you as a school provider and maybe school boyfriend. You made a lot of mistakes while you were with her. How can you do all those things for a girl who never loved you in the first place? You made nasty decisions which I know you might be regretting now. One of them is that you would have been outside the country studying and gathering your studies. What I want you to do now is dust your ass and move on with your remaining studies. Forget about her completely, focus on what you want for yourself and don't allow this to distract you. Take heart my brother.