₦airaland Forum

JiokezOguguo:
The problem we have in our time today is self decision. Most guardians are wrongly influencing their wards. In as much as its good and biblical to obey your parents, as an adult learn to decide and make choices for yourself.

Bro, be patient on this (you may give a longer time), don't force love. If nothing happens or she by chance never return, then move one. In life their are sacrifices to make. You have invested truly in her life and its a credit, she shouldnt just trade it away just because her mummy said she must not marry from Ebonyi. If she really loves you for who you are, she will return. Her parents have lived their lives, its hers now.

appreciated

Beneman:
Bro, u are not alone, a lot of persons have experienced same thing. Just forget abt her and move on.

Take a look at this chat below

thanks

Giwoni:
My Love Experience

Good day NLanders

I'm a medical student, and gf ( not sure what to call her now) is in MLS. We are both in same level (500l).

It all started in 2015, when we gained admission into the University. We began to read together and subsequently I started teaching her. Later on, she made me to read and susummarize her course topics (which I did for up to her 300 level) for her as she usually found it difficult to read with textbooks and understand the contents.

Months before my 2nd MBBS examinations, I began to notice changes in her attitude and behaviour towards me, up to the point that she told me that if I did not pass that examinations that, she will forget about me. But as God may have it, I passed successfully.

Financially, it started right in year one as I celebrated her and her mummy's Christmas from my own pocket. It got to a point that I usually give her her money almost every day (for up to 5yrs) Whenever, I'm traveling in any of our vacations, I usually give money for upkeep until I'm back.

In 300l, I bought her gift worth almost 30k and also celebrated her birthday which she demanded I get her 'point and kill cat fish' that cost 9k.

I usually pay for her textbooks and seminar work as we are all in medical school, I really do a lot for her, as she always told me she would never leave me right from yr 1 to 500l after which she started telling me, their people from Anambra will not let her marry people from Ebonyi State.

She's has known this for all her life, but decided to bring it up just now, when I'm beginning my marriage plans with her, She's started giving me unnecessary excuses in one form or the other.

In 400L, my elder brother told me that I should leave my medical school here to go and study the same medicine abroad. Because of her, I told him that I want to finish my school here since I am already in 400 level. That after my MBBS degree, I can then go abroad for my Masters degree...

This January, my elder brother told me that since I would be graduating in 2022 (which supposed to be 2021 but due to strike before the 2019 election) which is two years time, that I should be planning to get married before I leave this country.

This made me to ask her again if we are ending up together and she told me that she has to seek for her mother's consent, and would give me a feedback.

Before, she travelled (this is just before the lock down) as she was complaining that she does not have any money on her to eat and she want to go and learn how to plait hair which will cost her #8,000, I gave her #16,000. The next day after collecting the money, she told me that she received a call from her mother that she must come back to her State and she travelled with that money without learning anything.

Yesterday by 8:24pm, I called her to tell me the outcome of her mother's discussion with her. She told me that her mother insisted that she cannot marry an Ebonyi man, and she cannot go outside her mother's decision.

In conclusion, she told me that she cannot marry me.

Well, as expected, I'm bracing myself up for insults, (I really don't mind this right now) but amidst the insults, pls advice a brother who's fighting emotionally.

thanks

I will advice you not to even waste your precious time discussing this issue with the girl any longer.
At the same time, don't even try blaming yourself or regretting not going to abroad as your elder brother suggested cos we all behaved weird once in a while when we are deeply in love.
WHAT'S GONNA BE IS GONNA BE

Giwoni:
My Love Experience

Good day NLanders

I'm a medical student, and gf ( not sure what to call her now) is in MLS. We are both in same level (500l).

It all started in 2015, when we gained admission into the University. We began to read together and subsequently I started teaching her. Later on, she made me to read and susummarize her course topics (which I did for up to her 300 level) for her as she usually found it difficult to read with textbooks and understand the contents.

Months before my 2nd MBBS examinations, I began to notice changes in her attitude and behaviour towards me, up to the point that she told me that if I did not pass that examinations that, she will forget about me. But as God may have it, I passed successfully.

Financially, it started right in year one as I celebrated her and her mummy's Christmas from my own pocket. It got to a point that I usually give her her money almost every day (for up to 5yrs) Whenever, I'm traveling in any of our vacations, I usually give money for upkeep until I'm back.

In 300l, I bought her gift worth almost 30k and also celebrated her birthday which she demanded I get her 'point and kill cat fish' that cost 9k.

I usually pay for her textbooks and seminar work as we are all in medical school, I really do a lot for her, as she always told me she would never leave me right from yr 1 to 500l after which she started telling me, their people from Anambra will not let her marry people from Ebonyi State.

She's has known this for all her life, but decided to bring it up just now, when I'm beginning my marriage plans with her, She's started giving me unnecessary excuses in one form or the other.

In 400L, my elder brother told me that I should leave my medical school here to go and study the same medicine abroad. Because of her, I told him that I want to finish my school here since I am already in 400 level. That after my MBBS degree, I can then go abroad for my Masters degree...

This January, my elder brother told me that since I would be graduating in 2022 (which supposed to be 2021 but due to strike before the 2019 election) which is two years time, that I should be planning to get married before I leave this country.

This made me to ask her again if we are ending up together and she told me that she has to seek for her mother's consent, and would give me a feedback.

Before, she travelled (this is just before the lock down) as she was complaining that she does not have any money on her to eat and she want to go and learn how to plait hair which will cost her #8,000, I gave her #16,000. The next day after collecting the money, she told me that she received a call from her mother that she must come back to her State and she travelled with that money without learning anything.

Yesterday by 8:24pm, I called her to tell me the outcome of her mother's discussion with her. She told me that her mother insisted that she cannot marry an Ebonyi man, and she cannot go outside her mother's decision.

In conclusion, she told me that she cannot marry me.

Well, as expected, I'm bracing myself up for insults, (I really don't mind this right now) but amidst the insults, pls advice a brother who's fighting emotionally.

thanks

Give her some benefit of doubt, say 2-3 months, then let go the relationship; a broken courtship is better than a broken marriage. But remember, karma will certainly pay her a visit ohhhhh...

SonOfEl:
thank you so much, you know the drill jaare. it was even worse back then. it has reduced now.

Welcome, it has to reduced because majority has known the truth.

MARX77:
Permit me to list out a few things

1. From the beginning of the relationship, you have probably given this girl d mindset that if she leaves u, u r done for.

2. Bro, if u use money take open relationship, ready to dey drop money... So all this your expenses here and there na u cos am. Never use money as a means to hold down a woman, they're always in need, and most of them will go for the highest bidder.

3. I don't know who needs to hear this, except the girl na ur wife, never ever let a lady influence decisions that u know can make your life better. NEVER DO THAT. Make decisions to better ur life, Bleep whatever she thinks.

4. Boss, any girl when dey look for consent to marry you don go already. Forget her...

5. You're lucky you passed your exam, you for know afa

6. I can bet my left ass that your lady has someone already promising her the moon and the stars. SHE'S GONE BRO.

MY ADVICE: Brace yourself, retrace your steps and before she drops the bombshell on you,
Break up with her in a very dope way, like stars do, no fight, no insults.

YOUR FUTURE IS BRIGHT MAN, take it from me, ON GOD.

*Drops mic*

@Giwoni I think you should read this and follow the advise.

Never be a weakling, sucker and apologetic man for love.

Let this burden (stop spending...its a parasitic relationship) go and plan to ace your courses. Cheers!

My brother you have done well, forget her, the one that pain me pass is for you buying her point and killed for #8,000. That girl is wicket.

My dude no be your fault but your village people.

Giwoni:
My Love Experience

Good day NLanders

I'm a medical student, and gf ( not sure what to call her now) is in MLS. We are both in same level (500l).

It all started in 2015, when we gained admission into the University. We began to read together and subsequently I started teaching her. Later on, she made me to read and susummarize her course topics (which I did for up to her 300 level) for her as she usually found it difficult to read with textbooks and understand the contents.

Months before my 2nd MBBS examinations, I began to notice changes in her attitude and behaviour towards me, up to the point that she told me that if I did not pass that examinations that, she will forget about me. But as God may have it, I passed successfully.

Financially, it started right in year one as I celebrated her and her mummy's Christmas from my own pocket. It got to a point that I usually give her her money almost every day (for up to 5yrs) Whenever, I'm traveling in any of our vacations, I usually give money for upkeep until I'm back.

In 300l, I bought her gift worth almost 30k and also celebrated her birthday which she demanded I get her 'point and kill cat fish' that cost 9k.

I usually pay for her textbooks and seminar work as we are all in medical school, I really do a lot for her, as she always told me she would never leave me right from yr 1 to 500l after which she started telling me, their people from Anambra will not let her marry people from Ebonyi State.

She's has known this for all her life, but decided to bring it up just now, when I'm beginning my marriage plans with her, She's started giving me unnecessary excuses in one form or the other.

In 400L, my elder brother told me that I should leave my medical school here to go and study the same medicine abroad. Because of her, I told him that I want to finish my school here since I am already in 400 level. That after my MBBS degree, I can then go abroad for my Masters degree...

This January, my elder brother told me that since I would be graduating in 2022 (which supposed to be 2021 but due to strike before the 2019 election) which is two years time, that I should be planning to get married before I leave this country.

This made me to ask her again if we are ending up together and she told me that she has to seek for her mother's consent, and would give me a feedback.

Before, she travelled (this is just before the lock down) as she was complaining that she does not have any money on her to eat and she want to go and learn how to plait hair which will cost her #8,000, I gave her #16,000. The next day after collecting the money, she told me that she received a call from her mother that she must come back to her State and she travelled with that money without learning anything.

Yesterday by 8:24pm, I called her to tell me the outcome of her mother's discussion with her. She told me that her mother insisted that she cannot marry an Ebonyi man, and she cannot go outside her mother's decision.

In conclusion, she told me that she cannot marry me.

Well, as expected, I'm bracing myself up for insults, (I really don't mind this right now) but amidst the insults, pls advice a brother who's fighting emotionally.

thanks

Mu-Mu

I know its kinda painful but op you just have to move on, she was just playing smart,never loved you.
Truth is that you may not know the bullet God has helped you to dodge. Marrying an anambra is kinda risky, they mothers always tend to control their daughters family and they can go to any length to have their way especially when the man has money.

Just move on, she's never yours

Giwoni:
My Love Experience

Good day NLanders

I'm a medical student, and gf ( not sure what to call her now) is in MLS. We are both in same level (500l).

It all started in 2015, when we gained admission into the University. We began to read together and subsequently I started teaching her. Later on, she made me to read and susummarize her course topics (which I did for up to her 300 level) for her as she usually found it difficult to read with textbooks and understand the contents.

Months before my 2nd MBBS examinations, I began to notice changes in her attitude and behaviour towards me, up to the point that she told me that if I did not pass that examinations that, she will forget about me. But as God may have it, I passed successfully.

Financially, it started right in year one as I celebrated her and her mummy's Christmas from my own pocket. It got to a point that I usually give her her money almost every day (for up to 5yrs) Whenever, I'm traveling in any of our vacations, I usually give money for upkeep until I'm back.

In 300l, I bought her gift worth almost 30k and also celebrated her birthday which she demanded I get her 'point and kill cat fish' that cost 9k.

I usually pay for her textbooks and seminar work as we are all in medical school, I really do a lot for her, as she always told me she would never leave me right from yr 1 to 500l after which she started telling me, their people from Anambra will not let her marry people from Ebonyi State.

She's has known this for all her life, but decided to bring it up just now, when I'm beginning my marriage plans with her, She's started giving me unnecessary excuses in one form or the other.

In 400L, my elder brother told me that I should leave my medical school here to go and study the same medicine abroad. Because of her, I told him that I want to finish my school here since I am already in 400 level. That after my MBBS degree, I can then go abroad for my Masters degree...

This January, my elder brother told me that since I would be graduating in 2022 (which supposed to be 2021 but due to strike before the 2019 election) which is two years time, that I should be planning to get married before I leave this country.

This made me to ask her again if we are ending up together and she told me that she has to seek for her mother's consent, and would give me a feedback.

Before, she travelled (this is just before the lock down) as she was complaining that she does not have any money on her to eat and she want to go and learn how to plait hair which will cost her #8,000, I gave her #16,000. The next day after collecting the money, she told me that she received a call from her mother that she must come back to her State and she travelled with that money without learning anything.

Yesterday by 8:24pm, I called her to tell me the outcome of her mother's discussion with her. She told me that her mother insisted that she cannot marry an Ebonyi man, and she cannot go outside her mother's decision.

In conclusion, she told me that she cannot marry me.

Well, as expected, I'm bracing myself up for insults, (I really don't mind this right now) but amidst the insults, pls advice a brother who's fighting emotionally.

thanks

Well if that is the decision of her parents let it be.

Even me I am totally against distant marriage and unnecessary blood mixtures.

Secondly She has to marry from Anambra not else where.

And if else where not anyhow.

Don't blame the girl, It is a norm. Anambra us too rigid in such issues especially that axis.

Unless you have to let the parents know how to lay trust on you..

zexy2030:
This is the mistake he made. Another point even ibos fear anambra, it is mostly anambra to anambra. Then if eventually she marries you, she married you for ur resources which she believes would become hers after having kids for you.
In short Anams are very selfish sets of beings.

Are you okay?

Marriage na by force?

@Giwoni see how you listed the costs one by one. You seem to be very concerned about the financial consequences of this bad investment. Yiu have lost more than just money bro.

I find it odd that there is still ethnic divisions even among you igbos. If Biafra is handed over to you, you guys will just kill yourselves


BACK TO THE SUBJECT
Much have been said already. Pick yourself up. You'll love again. Just make sure this time you do so with your brain on and eyes wide open....and if you can get this right, when you see the miss in the near future, you'd feel rightly ontop rather than hiding in shame. This has to be her loss not yours.

....and work on yourself before going into the next relationship. Yes doctors are well sought after, but there will come a time the girl will realize she will be marrying the man and not his portfolio. Strive to be a better man

Just let her go, you wld find your own true love

Chi59:
Anambra people hardly marry other ibo people, except enugu. They're very selective and no matter the love, they must first of all get their parents approval. I once loved an anambra man. The rest is history
Infact if i ever come across an anambra guy toasting me again, I jump and pass. Let them marry themselves.

Stop misinforming the public.

Anambra are highly easy going and understanding.

LLobiorah:
Dude you are so fucking dumb and silly to allow love to play you, especially when it's coming from an Anambra person. You know how childish and selfish both their men and women can be, both online and offline. 'Ndi mama anyi si', people, and you gave your love to that kinda being, when Ebonyi fine women full ground.

Even if Ebonyi ladies no dy, you didn't see the imo, Enugu and abia women to choose from, nah an Anambra woman that's after your little change. Bros, Idike!!

My one cent, pick up your life and move on jhor. That kinda lady wasn't meant for you, and never in your life or even advise your kids to fall in love with 'ndi mama anyi si people', without having second options. Las las, time go heal you.

Are you okay?

Is something wrong with you?

Look at how you are de-marketing your sister state

Why not allow nature take it's course on their affair..

Why us your mind so bad like this..

Marriage need everyone to be cautious and to take their time.

Pure hated in action.

Giwoni:
What I discovered from Anambra people is that they come around someone for their selfish interest only.
My own question is that; does it mean that God did not make some of these so called ''Anambra people'' to marry or be married by other people?

Anambra are good people but marriage is not something you can rush.

Easy Easy...

Giwoni:
archaic mentality which was rampant in the 15th century is working on their 21st century generations which is a big problem for them. How can ones parents determine who their daughters or sons will marry? What if it did not go well with whom they chose for their children? May God almighty heal all of them for their shallow mindedness. Some of them claim to even be Christians and they never come across where the Bible says in the book of revelation that there should be no decriminalization be it tribe, or any form among the Christians.

We as parents must determine so as to guide our daughters.

What an elder sees while sitting even if u climb Manjaro, u can't see that..

LLobiorah:
Exactly, thank God you have known now. Dating an Anambra man or woman, the love nah owner's risk, especially if you dy reason long term 'marriage'.

I don't blame you rather I blamed nairaland for giving you platform to talk nonsense.

UwaMmebii:
Not only Anambra, Enugu too find it difficult to marry from Ebonyi. Is it that Ebonyi men are bad?

I've seen countless numbers of girls from our side that rejected Ebonyi men.

What state are you from

IloveToMess:
Taa them no born Anambra well to reject Imo marriage proposal. Imo boys hardly even marry outside Imo state because of the beauty of their women but so many people from Anambra marry from Imo, E-money for example, even my uncle married an Anambra lady, infact my uncle never wanted to marry her but she tied my uncle down with pregnancy that year.

Ove bloated ego.

Say what you know before matter go turn tomorrow.

IloveToMess:
Shatap Anambra dont do that shiit with Imolites. Remove Imo staate. We even reject them in Imo because of what we hear they do to their first wives based on money ritual levels.
Imo men dont marry outside Imo state too.

Another over bloated girl...Lol

Anambra na lesson 101 to many.

Reject fire...who born u.

IloveToMess:
Imo people even reject Anambra suitors based on their money ritual history, it is believed that they use their first wives to make money.
I know how my uncle was so adamant on allowing her daughter get married to her Anambra boyfriend until the girl took in and as a Catholic Knight the man hurriedly agreed so as not to bring reproach on his name, e nearly cursed his daughter but our family intervened. Another uncle of mine married anambra lady too who held him down with pregnancy too.

All this your uncle's are they this useless.

Stop lying.

Reason is simple poor mentality spreads falsehood easily.

If anambra stay on her own, na una go still complain.

we come help marry una, una go dey run mouth.

Chi59:
Not at all. I'm from Imo state

I loved your submission.
Allow the animal to continue his lies

IloveToMess:
I knew you would say that. But i know you are from Abia.

Shut it.
We decide who we marry?
See Imo dey make mouth..
Inukwam...oochim

IloveToMess:
Whatever you dont know just keep quiet instead of exposing your foolishness and ignorance here. Anambra that are dying to marry Imo women. Maybe E-money married from Afghanistan i guess.

Like i said it is a thing of choice boy. If you dont know how serious issue of marriage is then you had better shut up till you are grown enough to understand.

So E-money now means anambra because una see little change chop .Lol.

comrChris:
How did you come to conclusion that Ebonyi people are mentally unstable? Somebody that helps her academically is mentally unstable to you right? I'm from Afikpo and also a student in unizik, I can tell u no body I have come across in that school both in my class is smarter than me.
What's actually killing anambrians is pride, people are beginning to see it and they will regret it

Shut up.

superlightning:
to be honest dude, you proved to her that you are a typical "abakaliki mugu" in quote, no offense intended.

Anambra used to be the 'lepers' of the past in terms of marriage, but they rebranded themselves by playing reverse psychology on men like you. make no mistake, I perceive you to be a respectable person.

Anambra do it to other states, but we place them on their level. Sometimes they play the superiority card on themselves. So please don't take it personal, that's anambra people for you.

God has answered your prayers by pushing that girl away from you. you deserve someone worth your sweat.

I have dated anambra ladies, they can be fun and sweet especially when they see the rich-guy prospect in you, but I can tell you that they aren't worth the stress you may want to subject yourself to when it comes to marriage. however, there will always be an open minded anambra family somewhere that will appreciate you. But just DONT think that anambarians are generally open minded, they aren't. They are clannish when it comes to marriage.

Even Abia dey talk...Lol


I done see am finish today..Lol

Giwoni:
Even one can do more than that, I would have appreciated. Every form of insults to me are highly welcomed. May God bless you all who have tried in one way or the other to make me a better person. I must tell you all that I have learnt.

Don't allow anything happen to that girl. Double your efforts and adjust your standard.

Make her parents your friends.

the reason why she dont want to marry you is because you too talk ,the way you are telling us how you bought her 9,000 fish ,celebrate her birthday,give her 30k,16k etc .this the same way you will be announcing to her what you did for her and women hate it .some guys will do more than that for a girl without sleeping with her and you wont hear it.your brain is too small and that's why she cant marry you ,anambra girl pack sense die ,look for a girl at ebonyi there ,the way she pushed you away and you are lamenting here shows that you didnt see her pant ,she just chop you mugu ,gather sense next time. I will not advice you to spend foolishly on a woman you never marry but when next you want to do that, note that is a risk ,it might lead to something good or regret ,women hate it when you do something for them and you will be announcing to their face or telling people .you need to mature ,you never reach to marry

the reason why she dont want to marry you is because you too talk ,the way you are telling us how you bought her 9,000 fish ,celebrate her birthday,give her 30k,16k etc .this the same way you will be announcing to her what you did for her and women hate it .some guys will do more than that for a girl without sleeping with her and you wont hear it.your brain is too small and that's why she cant marry you ,anambra girl pack sense die ,look for a girl at ebonyi there ,the way she pushed you away and you are lamenting here shows that you didnt see her pant ,she just chop you mugu ,gather sense next time. I will not advice you to spend foolishly on a woman you never marry but when next you want to do that, note that is a risk ,it might lead to something good or regret ,women hate it when you do something for them and you will be announcing to their face or telling people .you need to mature ,you never reach to marry