₦airaland Forum

Op, sit your mum down one day, look straight into her eyes and say these to her..

''This girl that you are treating this way today might be all what our family need to be liberated from whatever things you may think of. Sometimes, the rejected stone may end up being the corner stone. Either you care for her or not, when God showers his mercy, blessings and favours upon her where will you be or be seated?:

pocohantas:
Dude, stop being silly. Your future tense (of whatever adoption), is some of our present tense. I wonder why you even have to wait till you marry to care for others. Anyway, that we don’t jump on people’s comments with error-ridden epistles, doesn’t mean we are inhumane.

It isn’t that hard to keep your brain company, use it often. Take care.

Did you read that I am waiting to marry to adopt? It already in the pipeline but as for marriage is on a standstill because of mellow drama like you plenty on the street pushing to bear a man's man and in turn turn him into a sorrowful husband


By the way, keep my brain company makes no sense. Hope you do not think every body during this lockdown keep themselves company by self service? Yeah, oma se o

Women bashing aside.

They generally lack compassion for the weak and the defenceless.

I don't know why.

You acted right...kudos!

majamajic:
It's normal if a woman treats another woman's children a different way from hers, cos maybe she was not in support of the adoption .

There's nothing u can do here , than continue the love and accommodate the girl , as time goes on everything will be ok

Just keep up the good work , things will be perfect as time goes on , thank God she is a girl

It's not normal and never normal.

We are slaves to ourselves not the white folks... It's a pity

Dganji:
More than ever am not happy with my mom.

I have this younger sister who was adopted by my dad from his younger sister (her father is late), she's just 10 years of age and I really don't like my mom's attitude towards that little girl. In the past when i was much younger, my mom had many quarrels with the mother of my adopted sister which I really can't give accurate count on who's right or wrong, but for the record my aunty (younger sis mom) is very troublesome no doubt.

She started living with us June last year and I noticed she's always very happy when me or my dad comes home. I was thinking it was because we were very nice to her, not knowing the kind of pressure she was going through at home.

Several occasions I have seen my mom saying too many harsh words to that little girl which I am not comfortable with but I've had to keep my calm. I feel reacting would make my mom hate her more as she might feel the little girl has turned her children against her.

The saddest part of it is that our last born who's 15 years is taking the same part with my mom in frustrating that little girl. Today Ilost my cool and reacted and truth is I'm not willing to continue keeping calm again.

My immediate younger brother (we are 3 boys and no girl) decided to start taking this my little sister out for jugging cos she's too fat. She always returns home crying cos of the pressure they put on her to jug. My mom on hearing her cry today came out and started beating her and saying hatefull words to her, including insulting her mom, calling her mom names which honestly would get any child angry if they are told same about their parent.

Out of annoyance I got up and shouted at my mom to leave her alone that it's becoming too bad for her as a mother to treath children like that. Instantly my mom kept calm and guilt was written all over her face. I'm honestly not happy about disrespecting my mom but I'm no longer keeping my calm.

There was a time when my dad had to take similar action against my mom and it didnt go well for anybody, the little girl suffered more hate from my mom and my dad wasnt really happy with my mom that period.

Returning that little girl back to her mom is never an option as the environment where her mom is very negative and would no doubt worsen her situation.

Talking to my mom calmy about it has been done by me and my immediate younger brother but problem still persists.

My worries are.
1, the little girl
2, my youngest brother who is taking after my mom
3 me disrespecting my mom.

Nairalanders your advice would be appreciated on this situation. I already have what to do in mind already but I will love to hear from those who have experienced similar situation and how best to handle it.

keep shouting on your mum whenever she does all that to the little girl, defend that child always, right now, you are all she's got, u must protect her

if u don't protect her, God wil punish you

pocohantas:
You mustn’t bring the person into the house, but if you must- please fix the foundation, fix the family relationship, fix the flow of leadership. The problem here is, one person (most times the man) would just impose it on the other. It never works that way. It is the visitor that would always suffer the effect of the hosts petty squabbles.

It's always going to be easy for wives who want to object, to cry of imposition. It's impossible for married folks or partners to agree on every single decisions. This one is naturally a sticking point for most. However, every man has some decisions to make regardless of his wife's opinions.

Naturally, there's a tendency not to like what's not part of our own when it comes to people. That's human nature for you. Wives have the right to object to their husbands and vice versa before the decision is taken to bring someone home to stay with the family. But I think what makes us NICE PEOPLE is to be able know when the BATTLE IS LOST and treat them fairly regardless.

Funnily, most of the toxic cases I've seen, the relative is usually from the man's family. When the relative is from the woman's, there's usually some level of acceptance and general peace.

majamajic:
It's normal if a woman treats another woman's children a different way from hers, cos maybe she was not in support of the adoption .

There's nothing u can do here , than continue the love and accommodate the girl , as time goes on everything will be ok

Just keep up the good work , things will be perfect as time goes on , thank God she is a girl

what's normal here? charlatan.

OscarJaden:
please leave pocohantas out of this.. she's a woman with a heart of gold... God bless her for me joor

First impression matters a lot.

Have seen that name countless names in threads but always jumped it as I believe those guys are just trolls.

But reading her responses on this thread is very disappointing.

Maybe she has issues with really expressing her good self in a good way.

Or she is realistic in an extreme way.

Which ever way.. It sucks

jelel6:
I agree most cases don't need housing them under the same roof with the family. But I think the Poster said it's not an option as they believe her mom's place is even worse (you have to trust their judgement here I think). The girl can't live alone. She needs a place and it just happens THAT place is with the poster.

Same thing I was wondering

I simply wonder how people read.

The OP articulated everything before asking for advise.

He might have even considered it and concluded its not an option.

But somehow, some people feels that the only available solution.

jelel6:
It's always going to be easy for wives who want to object, to cry of imposition. It's impossible for married folks or partners to agree on every single decisions. This one is naturally a sticking point for most. However, every man has some decisions to make regardless of his wife's opinions.

Naturally, there's a tendency not to like what's not part of our own when it comes to people. That's human nature for you. Wives have the right to object to their husbands and vice versa before the decision is taken to bring someone home to stay with the family. But I think what makes us NICE PEOPLE is to be able know when the BATTLE IS LOST and treat them fairly regardless.

Funnily, most of the toxic cases I've seen, the relative is usually from the man's family. When the relative is from the woman's, there's usually some level of acceptance and general peace.

What ever rocks your boat dear. I can’t be bothered, honestly.

sapientia:
First impression matters a lot.

But reading her responses on this thread is very disappointing.

Which ever way.. It sucks

Maybe she wasn’t trying to create an impression and didn’t notice you. What sucks is creating an impression of someone who gives no fck- about you.

Your mum is turning that little girl to a monster. It was good to stood up against your mum

aeion:
You absolutely did the right thing to caution your mom. Her physical, verbal and emotional abuse of the girl will do a number to the girl's self-esteem/mental health if she doesn't stop. Please continue to stand up for the girl!

I don't understand how anyone can hate a child! It takes a cold-hearted, evil person to treat a child like this.

There is a general belief that women are very compassionate but why do they find it difficult to treat other children entrusted to them? This is very confusing to me.

Dganji:
Alright, ill suspend the excercise .
She'll soon go to boarding school, there are diets would automatically adjusted..

Thank God, at least she will be free from your mum and younger brother.
Please dont stop to caution your mum and younger brother o, what goes around, comes around..

if my wife does that our marriage is finished.ever since I went through that road I know how painful it is so I swore never to allow anychild ( not mine) living with me to suffer ,I will also treat them as my kid ( try caution your mother) remember sins of the father do befall on the children

M00N:
Out of all your story, I could identify myself with your youngest bro. My mother is a tough person to live with, ever since I was 5-15 a lot of people have lived with us, all coming and going some of them were treated harshly by my mother and I was always their supporting her, honestly it is very hard for women to treat other peoples children as their own. I too treated these people who lived with us harshly too, from my cousins to random people who destiny chanced them to live with us, I was very mean!. But one day something touched my heart and made me realize the good friendships I could have had but lost because I was trying too hard to please my mother, the people who I could have treated well some of which I would never meet again(I feel sad knowing this), at least am glad I still get to meet my cousins and make things right, they originally planned to come at me with full force hatred thinking I was still the mean old me, honestly they couldn't par with me if I was still my mean old sef( I was a very mean dude!) but am still sad they saw me as enemy they should unleash their kept in desire for revenge. They were surprised at how different I am from when they knew me, sometimes they wonder if it was actually the same guy they were meeting, but since they see how gentle I am now their view of me changed a whole lot, they now see as a real chilled guy( even almost too gentle ) we are good friends now, but am still sad I treated some people I won't meet again harshly.

my point right now is that your brother is trying too hard to please your mother and his also probably suffering from low self-esteem and you can help him with that. Show him that in the next 10 years if he continues like that he'll wish he had treated that girl well. Help him to know he doesn't have to please mother by treating lil-sis harshly, he will also have to live with people who are not his family and tell him to treat everyone he meets right.

OP

Dganji

You want to pick a point, this man has it all

Nice piece of writing, even thou' you never made use of punctuation marks

Your words are filled with wisdom

Check out my signature please

MODIFIED: DEAR OP, NEVER YOU FOR ANY REASON SCOLD OR CAUTION YOUR MUM IN FRONT OF YOUR KID SIS.......... THAT'D BE DISRESPECTFUL IF YOU DO SO

Ogun go kill my step mum wherever she is

Floryangel8:
It's so pathetic, most people find it difficult to treat others the way they want to be treated . My opinion sit your mom down and narrate to her what if she dies today and your younger brother has to go and live with people, how does she think her son will cope. What goes around comes around.

That's too harsh an analogy.

majamajic:
It's normal if a woman treats another woman's children a different way from hers, cos maybe she was not in support of the adoption .

There's nothing u can do here , than continue the love and accommodate the girl , as time goes on everything will be ok

Just keep up the good work , things will be perfect as time goes on , thank God she is a girl

Everything can never be okay.

@OP, talk to your mum

pocohantas:
Your dad should take her back to her mother.

Men should stop bringing in kids/relatives that they won’t care for, because the welfare of that child would rest mainly on the woman and if she isn’t interested- you know how it goes.

Most men do not want the responsibility of training another man’s child (marrying single mothers). I don’t know why over and over, they try putting their wives in same position they so dread. While it is VERY wrong for your mum to maltreat a child. Your dad is no saint for bringing in the child to an environment where she isn’t wanted.

If you want peace in a home on such matters, appeal to the wife. If the wife is happy, everybody will be happy. Take the girl somewhere else.

What do you mean by "the welfare of the child would lie mainly on the woman"? Isn't the fact that the husband provides for the child, as he would his own child, not enough to avoid the stress and burden that would incite such deplorable and harsh treatment of a little girl? There is simply no excuse for such cruelty. It takes a soul devoid of sympathy and morals to do such to a ten year old girl.

This case is in no way similar or analogous to the case of men refusing to date single mothers and take care of another man's seed. It's one thing to foist a another woman's child on a woman, have her provide financially for that child, and endure certain risks that men who marry single-moms face, it's another for her husband to provide for the child, and all she has to do is treat the child like a moral person would. Even if the child was initially not welcomed, there is still no excuse for the harsh treatment, and the treatment of that child is unwarranted.

How possibly unwelcome must a little helpless child be to endure being treated harshly, endure beatings because she cried after a seemingly strenuous jog, have her biological mum being insulted and called names in her presence, etc. In don't care what anyone has to say, the OP's mother is plainly wicked.

A soul with a good moral compass cannot possibly permit or condone such treatment let alone mete out such. It seems you and the wicked wife are of a kindred spirit. Women are like this, so it's not surprising to see you, in typical feminine fashion, cunningly build up excuses for the woman, and attribute some blames to the man.

You have a good heart. God bless you as you continue to defend that little girl. One day your just reward will come to you and I also hope your mum would realize the folly In her actions and change.
This world is a small place and that lil girl she maltreats might be her saviour tomorrow.

Davash222:
To caution your mom is not disrespect. She's your mom doesn't mean she can't be cautioned. Don't feel guilty about that.

Preach please!

Dganji:
excatly.
You know, during my childhood days before my kid sister was born ive stayed with her mother for holidays. She was never harsh to me, infact i must confess she pampered me to the extent my dad had to avoid me going to stay with her, also ive stayed with my uncles who always treats me well.
They canned me when necessary and treated me like their children, even their wives were not harsh to me but how do i explain to people that my mom is behaving badly to their children when i know they treated me well?
Ill still look for a way to talk to her and see reasons from this angle too.
Thanks for the idea, its an inspiration..

It takes very few men to call a spade, a spade not a shovel.

Yes, you are right. We should always apply the golden rule. Remember whatever goes around comes around and there instances in the Bible where a nation paid for the sin of one man.

You are not wrong in cautioning your mother. You are protecting your family and your unborn children because God visits the iniquities of parents unto the children but seeing your heart and your positive actions; you will be spared.

Take the best advice as long as it makes that child to be happy. Children shouldn't be made always unhappy because it affects them in adulthood.

That's why we see them later as adults as smoking shisha and other vices.

You have done well. But sometimes we claim we talk to people in order for them to change, in which atmosphere? She's your, try to stroll out with her, apologized to her, and tell her to have mercy on the girl if not for anything, because of her own future and that of her children.

In my house I scold who ever goes wrong, scold the little girl of she does wrong? Scold your mum and your kid brother if they are wrong too, this will reduce her chances of been abused by anybody because no one will want to be scolded by any body

Dganji:
More than ever am not happy with my mom.

I have this younger sister who was adopted by my dad from his younger sister (her father is late), she's just 10 years of age and I really don't like my mom's attitude towards that little girl. In the past when i was much younger, my mom had many quarrels with the mother of my adopted sister which I really can't give accurate count on who's right or wrong, but for the record my aunty (younger sis mom) is very troublesome no doubt.

She started living with us June last year and I noticed she's always very happy when me or my dad comes home. I was thinking it was because we were very nice to her, not knowing the kind of pressure she was going through at home.

Several occasions I have seen my mom saying too many harsh words to that little girl which I am not comfortable with but I've had to keep my calm. I feel reacting would make my mom hate her more as she might feel the little girl has turned her children against her.

The saddest part of it is that our last born who's 15 years is taking the same part with my mom in frustrating that little girl. Today Ilost my cool and reacted and truth is I'm not willing to continue keeping calm again.

My immediate younger brother (we are 3 boys and no girl) decided to start taking this my little sister out for jugging cos she's too fat. She always returns home crying cos of the pressure they put on her to jug. My mom on hearing her cry today came out and started beating her and saying hatefull words to her, including insulting her mom, calling her mom names which honestly would get any child angry if they are told same about their parent.

Out of annoyance I got up and shouted at my mom to leave her alone that it's becoming too bad for her as a mother to treath children like that. Instantly my mom kept calm and guilt was written all over her face. I'm honestly not happy about disrespecting my mom but I'm no longer keeping my calm.

There was a time when my dad had to take similar action against my mom and it didnt go well for anybody, the little girl suffered more hate from my mom and my dad wasnt really happy with my mom that period.

Returning that little girl back to her mom is never an option as the environment where her mom is very negative and would no doubt worsen her situation.

Talking to my mom calmy about it has been done by me and my immediate younger brother but problem still persists.

My worries are.
1, the little girl
2, my youngest brother who is taking after my mom
3 me disrespecting my mom.

Nairalanders your advice would be appreciated on this situation. I already have what to do in mind already but I will love to hear from those who have experienced similar situation and how best to handle it.

My advice (which you can accept of reject) is that you speak the truth with love. Also, pray to God for wisdom in handling the issues. God Bless you for caring for that scared little child.

Dganji:
More than ever am not happy with my mom.

I have this younger sister who was adopted by my dad from his younger sister (her father is late), she's just 10 years of age and I really don't like my mom's attitude towards that little girl. In the past when i was much younger, my mom had many quarrels with the mother of my adopted sister which I really can't give accurate count on who's right or wrong, but for the record my aunty (younger sis mom) is very troublesome no doubt.

She started living with us June last year and I noticed she's always very happy when me or my dad comes home. I was thinking it was because we were very nice to her, not knowing the kind of pressure she was going through at home.

Several occasions I have seen my mom saying too many harsh words to that little girl which I am not comfortable with but I've had to keep my calm. I feel reacting would make my mom hate her more as she might feel the little girl has turned her children against her.

The saddest part of it is that our last born who's 15 years is taking the same part with my mom in frustrating that little girl. Today Ilost my cool and reacted and truth is I'm not willing to continue keeping calm again.

My immediate younger brother (we are 3 boys and no girl) decided to start taking this my little sister out for jugging cos she's too fat. She always returns home crying cos of the pressure they put on her to jug. My mom on hearing her cry today came out and started beating her and saying hatefull words to her, including insulting her mom, calling her mom names which honestly would get any child angry if they are told same about their parent.

Out of annoyance I got up and shouted at my mom to leave her alone that it's becoming too bad for her as a mother to treath children like that. Instantly my mom kept calm and guilt was written all over her face. I'm honestly not happy about disrespecting my mom but I'm no longer keeping my calm.

There was a time when my dad had to take similar action against my mom and it didnt go well for anybody, the little girl suffered more hate from my mom and my dad wasnt really happy with my mom that period.

Returning that little girl back to her mom is never an option as the environment where her mom is very negative and would no doubt worsen her situation.

Talking to my mom calmy about it has been done by me and my immediate younger brother but problem still persists.

My worries are.
1, the little girl
2, my youngest brother who is taking after my mom
3 me disrespecting my mom.

Nairalanders your advice would be appreciated on this situation. I already have what to do in mind already but I will love to hear from those who have experienced similar situation and how best to handle it.

Sir I don't know you but what I know is that you did the right thing to have stood up to your mom. Thank God that she has not gotten to you like she did your brother. I guess you are the senior to the boy forcing her to run. Call him to order as the senior and PLEASE WHOLE ON MY KNEES, DON'T TAKE THE ADVICE OF SYCHROPHANTS WHO ARE SAYING YOU SHOULD RETURN HER, hell no! She has been adopted and she stay.

U never can to if you are her saving grace from committing suicide. Or the one that she might later appreciate has her brother.

Let all look at tomorrow from the mirror of TODAY.

Martinez39s:
What do you mean by "the welfare of the child would lie mainly on the woman"? Isn't the fact that the husband provides for the child, as he would his own child, not enough to avoid the stress and burden that would incite such deplorable and harsh treatment of a little girl? There is simply no excuse for such cruelty. It takes a soul devoid of sympathy and morals to do such to a ten year old girl.

This case is in no way similar or analogous to the case of men refusing to date single mothers and take care of another man's seed. It's one thing to foist a another woman's child on a woman, have her provide financially for that child, and endure certain risks that men who marry single-moms face, it's another for her husband to provide for the child, and all she has to do is treat the child like a moral person would. Even if the child was initially not welcomed, there is still no excuse for the harsh treatment, and the treatment of that child is unwarranted.

How possibly unwelcome must a little helpless child be to endure being treated harshly, endure beatings because she cried after a seemingly strenuous jog, have her biological mum being insulted and called names in her presence, etc. In don't care what anyone has to say, the OP's mother is plainly wicked.

A soul with a good moral compass cannot possibly permit or condone such treatment let alone mete out such. It seems you and the wicked wife are of a kindred spirit. Women are like this, so it's not surprising to see you cunningly build up excuses for the woman, and, in typical feminine fashion, attribute some blames to the man.

Wow! Mo like è. That what I told her but they are the type that make me give ladies arm lenght treatment. I can't still see any as my wife due to the fact that I want to adopt but but putting a woman in can turn the children into second citizens which I can't stomach.

Thanks for letting me know there are still men with brains.

On the lighter note, if not for Coro and you live in lagos, we could have met over soya and Malta. Sorry mi no dey do alcoholic drink.

Martinez39s:
What do you mean by "the welfare of the child would lie mainly on the woman"? Isn't the fact that the husband provides for the child, as he would his own child, not enough to avoid the stress and burden that would incite such deplorable and harsh treatment of a little girl? There is simply no excuse for such cruelty. It takes a soul devoid of sympathy and morals to do such to a ten year old girl.

This case is in no way similar or analogous to the case of men refusing to date single mothers and take care of another man's seed. It's one thing to foist a another woman's child on a woman, have her provide financially for that child, and endure certain risks that men who marry single-moms face, it's another for her husband to provide for the child, and all she has to do is treat the child like a moral person would. Even if the child was initially not welcomed, there is still no excuse for the harsh treatment, and the treatment of that child is unwarranted.

How possibly unwelcome must a little helpless child be to endure being treated harshly, endure beatings because she cried after a seemingly strenuous jog, have her biological mum being insulted and called names in her presence, etc. In don't care what anyone has to say, the OP's mother is plainly wicked.

A soul with a good moral compass cannot possibly permit or condone such treatment let alone mete out such. It seems you and the wicked wife are of a kindred spirit. Women are like this, so it's not surprising to see you cunningly build up excuses for the woman, and, in typical feminine fashion, attribute some blames to the man.

Wow! Mo like è. That what I told her but they are the type that make me give ladies arm lenght treatment. I can't still see any as my wife due to the fact that I want to adopt but but putting a woman in can turn the children into second citizens which I can stomach.

Thanks for letting me know there are still men with brains.

On the lighter note, if not for Coro and you live in lagos, we could have met over soya and Malta. Sorry mi no dey do alcoholic drink. Lol

SweetCunt97:
Lil girl surrounded by hawks... I just hope that last boy does not unleash his raging hormones on d poor girl some day.

my concern too.

kunletexs:
Wow! Mo like è. That what I told her but they are the type that make me give ladies arm lenght treatment. I can't still see any as my wife due to the fact that I want to adopt but but putting a woman in can turn the children into second citizens which I can stomach.

Thanks for letting me know there are still men with brains.

On the lighter note, if not for Coro and you live in lagos, we could have met over soya and Malta. Sorry mi no dey do alcoholic drink. Lol

I don't take alcohol too. Suya and Malta Guinness go make sense.

Don't mind pocohantas. She's just a naughty, wayward and capricious child of mine earnestly yearning for my tutelage and apt guidance to set her straight. I will set her straight later in no time (Who else if not a shrewd and capable sensei like me?). I apologise on her behalf.

Now, this is a sad situation.

It's like a matter of loyalty. Your mum expects your support always. But I'm happy you have an independent and fair mind.
I am worried about both your brother and the lil' sister.

Depending on who your mum is, her belief system and so on, she might be told that the girl has bewitched her family and turned them against her. That could cause even more inexplicable resentment towards that girl.

As things stand at least both of you and your father know that things aren't right. That's something you can discuss with your dad in an honest and mature first.

Sadly, only VERY FEW women can treat their non-biological kids as own biological kids. Including the outwardly very nice ones. It's human nature. Just that it's a bit extreme here.

You are not disrespecting your mum. And posterity will reward you kindly and greatly for your empathy.

Tell your mum what is right, and stand on it. You're on the path to greatness and blessings for standing up for that poor child. Don't allow your mum get away with any act of unkindness towards her. Be the voice of truth, and reason.

Dganji:
More than ever am not happy with my mom.

I have this younger sister who was adopted by my dad from his younger sister (her father is late), she's just 10 years of age and I really don't like my mom's attitude towards that little girl. In the past when i was much younger, my mom had many quarrels with the mother of my adopted sister which I really can't give accurate count on who's right or wrong, but for the record my aunty (younger sis mom) is very troublesome no doubt.

She started living with us June last year and I noticed she's always very happy when me or my dad comes home. I was thinking it was because we were very nice to her, not knowing the kind of pressure she was going through at home.

Several occasions I have seen my mom saying too many harsh words to that little girl which I am not comfortable with but I've had to keep my calm. I feel reacting would make my mom hate her more as she might feel the little girl has turned her children against her.

The saddest part of it is that our last born who's 15 years is taking the same part with my mom in frustrating that little girl. Today Ilost my cool and reacted and truth is I'm not willing to continue keeping calm again.

My immediate younger brother (we are 3 boys and no girl) decided to start taking this my little sister out for jugging cos she's too fat. She always returns home crying cos of the pressure they put on her to jug. My mom on hearing her cry today came out and started beating her and saying hatefull words to her, including insulting her mom, calling her mom names which honestly would get any child angry if they are told same about their parent.

Out of annoyance I got up and shouted at my mom to leave her alone that it's becoming too bad for her as a mother to treath children like that. Instantly my mom kept calm and guilt was written all over her face. I'm honestly not happy about disrespecting my mom but I'm no longer keeping my calm.

There was a time when my dad had to take similar action against my mom and it didnt go well for anybody, the little girl suffered more hate from my mom and my dad wasnt really happy with my mom that period.

Returning that little girl back to her mom is never an option as the environment where her mom is very negative and would no doubt worsen her situation.

Talking to my mom calmy about it has been done by me and my immediate younger brother but problem still persists.

My worries are.
1, the little girl
2, my youngest brother who is taking after my mom
3 me disrespecting my mom.

Nairalanders your advice would be appreciated on this situation. I already have what to do in mind already but I will love to hear from those who have experienced similar situation and how best to handle it.