₦airaland Forum

johnkey:
please add me to that group abeg

I trust sha.

tompat86:
The most difficult age for any man born in Nigeria

should be

between 24 and 29 years, the pressure to be something,

to be someone is so immense. When you look around

you everyone seems to be doing something for

themselves, people seem to be living a life you only

dream of. You have applied for jobs and the results have

been more disappointing than Yakubu Aiyegbeni goal miss at the world cup.

Sadly this is the age when most guys lose it, the age

when if not careful one is consumed by alcohol or drugs,

because the disappointments become too much and you

find alternative ways to face reality. Worse is when a few

people you studied with have been lucky enough to land

jobs, soon your circle of friends gets thinner – mostly

they don’t even cut you out but you will be real with

yourself and cut yourself off. I mean what will you do

when you are in a WhatsApp group of friends and they

are discussing about last week’s trip in Dubai and

planning another trip South Africa while you are not sure

of what your next meal would be?

Most times you follow the conversation silently, all

alone like a cross on the grave. Soon you realize this is

no longer your kind of crowd because the more you keep

around the more the pressure to be something, takes a

toll on you. You know when stories about house parties

come up and you act deaf because you don’t know

where an extra 5 guys would fit in your house. Have you

ever sat in a group of people discussing the new iPhone

on the market or how British Airways offers poo services

and you can feel your heart whisper to you “boss this is

chest pain hour, can we just go and find a group that

talks about GMAT, SHLn Dragnet, jobberman or job

vacancies sites“.

But you sit there as these people are lost in their

lifestyle conversations, you are like a secretary taking

minutes in meeting. You are totally forgotten like one of

a woman’s breasts during pre-intimacy. Once in a while

one of the friends will turn and ask if you need another

drink and you wonder if you should just say No and

head home, but head home to do what? So you

grudgingly drop in the comment “I will have just one

last one“ Lie.

But after a few years of job hunting, you are now ready

to take anything even if is to smell a rich man’s farts as

long as it pays , so you end up as an office messenger

in one blue chip company in town. To imagine that 4-5

years of studying and getting a degree is now reduced

to picking and dropping off letters and if you are not

doing that, you are being sent for cheap lunch by the

employees when they are broke and they can’t order

with fast food. This is when conversations about where

people schooled start, you go silent for it’s no longer of

any use to say you also reached University, it doesn’t

matter – you have resorted to surviving.

Once in while you will bump into your now well to do

classmates, they would offer you lunch, but not even

eating the meals at Eko Hotel or Sheraton will make you

feel better about yourself, because in your mind you

wish instead they would give you the 30k and you sort

your meals for the next 5 weeks. As it is the norm you

will have photos taken, and uploaded on Facebook, but

always it’s your face that would look the odd one out –

not even the best filters can hide a face which has

suffered the city's dust and sun but survives on boiled

beans.

The worst mistake you can do during this period is to

try and date – there is nothing that a person going

through such times can offer in terms of love. How are

you going to do evening romantic walks when you are

tired from walking delivering letters in offices around

town? What are you going to tell your lady when she

says she wants to go for relaxation at the bar, pool or

love garden sites that are in town? That your financial

religion doesn’t allow it or what? This is the age when

you sit back and watch as the ladies you would want to

date are dating or getting married to guys 10 years older

than you. And you can’t blame them – it’s only that your

life seems to be progressing slower than their goals in

life. Most of the ladies you meet during this period, if

you are lucky will be patient with you till you hit 28, and

if by then your life is still in disarray like Arsenal fc's performance in the EPL then my friend be

prepared for a walk out.

But then this is the age when you learn a lot of about

life, if you can hack through this stage of life the only

hard moment in your life would be when you lose your

parents - that’s if you are still lucky enough to have

them. This stage teaches you a lot about perseverance,

about appreciating the small wins you have each day, it

teaches you something about friendship, love, career

growth and personal responsibility. This is always your

rise or fall moment depending on the choices you make.

How you live your life in the 30’s is determined by how

you handled your life in this phase.

Do not Give up. Do not Be Depressed. remain focused and create a Strategy. Be consistent, you must Surely Win.

I read it from the beginning to the end....

Zoe99:
For a guy,I believe age 30 is okay.I'm not saying that if they get married earlier,it won't work.Some of them feel they are ready but could find out that they really aren't when the responsibilities start rolling in.It could even get to a point where you start feeling that your kids are getting in the way of your enjoyment.Scientists have discovered that the pre-frontal cortex of the brain(which basically is what makes you able to make mature decisions) does not get fully developed until age 25-27.That's why you could discover that your requirements in a spouse could change over time.If you're a guy in your mid-twenties for instance,if you marry a lady of say... 22 years,you could discover that overtime,she could change; probably from a shy,quiet,non-confrontational woman to a more independent,bold and in-your-face woman.If the former qualities were the reasons why you married her,trust me,you won't find it funny.This age thing applies more to the guys cos they are traditionally,the head of the home,so they should be mature enough to make good decisions.Women can marry earlier cos they can afford to hide under their husbands and also for the fact that their biological clock is ticking.Men however have to stand for themselves and are fertile all through their lives.Why the rush?

I know you are born in march . I'm certain .

The right age at which a man should get married is the age that aligns with his set goals in life.

whitelotus:
A friend of mine, a man, just got engaged. He is 34.

On our "group of friends" WhatsApp group, someone mentioned that the guy is marrying too late. It started a whole debate. The guy getting married at 34 defended himself that he waited until he had money, as starting a family is no joke, financially.

Some people were arguing that one should just get married at 25 and everything will fall into place.

I got married at 30 and people on the group were also blasting me that I got married a bit late. I am a man also

What do you guys think?

Please, mature responses

The ideal age for a guy to marry is 30 - 36yrs and he should not give birth to more than 3 kids.


For ladies, it's 25 - 30yrs.


As a guy, if you marry when you are below 30yrs in our present world, you will have a lot of marital issues because at that age, you are still exhibiting boyish attitudes and marriage responsibilities can wear you down easily unlike when you are 30yrs and above.

Go and check, guys who married when they are not up to 30yrs do have a lot of marital challenges, and they are usually unfaithful to their partners. Same with ladies that marry before they are 25yrs and above.


As a guy, no matter your financial challenges which is common, please don't exceed 36yrs before you marry. You can marry with an agreement with your partner not to give birth to more than 3 kids, if your finances are not okay, you can go for 1 - 2 kids, and if things improve you go for another one and stop. It's all about planning and determination, unless you don't want to marry at all.


And to the ladies please before you start thinking of getting married or before you accept to marry any man today, try and have a means of income, no matter how small, make sure you are earning some money to support him if you want a happy and sustainable home devoid of waves

zedegit:
Even 45. Unless the person is doing serious business.

Yea

As for me

Lyf begins @ 40

whitelotus:
Some people were arguing that one should just get married at 25 and everything will fall into place.

The stupidity those people are displaying is a dangerous one.

tompat86:
The most difficult age for any man born in Nigeria

should be

between 24 and 29 years, the pressure to be something,

to be someone is so immense. When you look around

you everyone seems to be doing something for

themselves, people seem to be living a life you only

dream of. You have applied for jobs and the results have

been more disappointing than Yakubu Aiyegbeni goal miss at the world cup.

Sadly this is the age when most guys lose it, the age

when if not careful one is consumed by alcohol or drugs,

because the disappointments become too much and you

find alternative ways to face reality. Worse is when a few

people you studied with have been lucky enough to land

jobs, soon your circle of friends gets thinner – mostly

they don’t even cut you out but you will be real with

yourself and cut yourself off. I mean what will you do

when you are in a WhatsApp group of friends and they

are discussing about last week’s trip in Dubai and

planning another trip South Africa while you are not sure

of what your next meal would be?

Most times you follow the conversation silently, all

alone like a cross on the grave. Soon you realize this is

no longer your kind of crowd because the more you keep

around the more the pressure to be something, takes a

toll on you. You know when stories about house parties

come up and you act deaf because you don’t know

where an extra 5 guys would fit in your house. Have you

ever sat in a group of people discussing the new iPhone

on the market or how British Airways offers poo services

and you can feel your heart whisper to you “boss this is

chest pain hour, can we just go and find a group that

talks about GMAT, SHLn Dragnet, jobberman or job

vacancies sites“.

But you sit there as these people are lost in their

lifestyle conversations, you are like a secretary taking

minutes in meeting. You are totally forgotten like one of

a woman’s breasts during pre-intimacy. Once in a while

one of the friends will turn and ask if you need another

drink and you wonder if you should just say No and

head home, but head home to do what? So you

grudgingly drop in the comment “I will have just one

last one“ Lie.

But after a few years of job hunting, you are now ready

to take anything even if is to smell a rich man’s farts as

long as it pays , so you end up as an office messenger

in one blue chip company in town. To imagine that 4-5

years of studying and getting a degree is now reduced

to picking and dropping off letters and if you are not

doing that, you are being sent for cheap lunch by the

employees when they are broke and they can’t order

with fast food. This is when conversations about where

people schooled start, you go silent for it’s no longer of

any use to say you also reached University, it doesn’t

matter – you have resorted to surviving.

Once in while you will bump into your now well to do

classmates, they would offer you lunch, but not even

eating the meals at Eko Hotel or Sheraton will make you

feel better about yourself, because in your mind you

wish instead they would give you the 30k and you sort

your meals for the next 5 weeks. As it is the norm you

will have photos taken, and uploaded on Facebook, but

always it’s your face that would look the odd one out –

not even the best filters can hide a face which has

suffered the city's dust and sun but survives on boiled

beans.

The worst mistake you can do during this period is to

try and date – there is nothing that a person going

through such times can offer in terms of love. How are

you going to do evening romantic walks when you are

tired from walking delivering letters in offices around

town? What are you going to tell your lady when she

says she wants to go for relaxation at the bar, pool or

love garden sites that are in town? That your financial

religion doesn’t allow it or what? This is the age when

you sit back and watch as the ladies you would want to

date are dating or getting married to guys 10 years older

than you. And you can’t blame them – it’s only that your

life seems to be progressing slower than their goals in

life. Most of the ladies you meet during this period, if

you are lucky will be patient with you till you hit 28, and

if by then your life is still in disarray like Arsenal fc's performance in the EPL then my friend be

prepared for a walk out.

But then this is the age when you learn a lot of about

life, if you can hack through this stage of life the only

hard moment in your life would be when you lose your

parents - that’s if you are still lucky enough to have

them. This stage teaches you a lot about perseverance,

about appreciating the small wins you have each day, it

teaches you something about friendship, love, career

growth and personal responsibility. This is always your

rise or fall moment depending on the choices you make.

How you live your life in the 30’s is determined by how

you handled your life in this phase.

Do not Give up. Do not Be Depressed. remain focused and create a Strategy. Be consistent, you must Surely Win.

DAMN nigga...You must be good at essays to have written all that.

but well said. The really is gloom. In Nigeria life can pass(dreams. goals. aspirations) you by if you don't play your cards right.

There is no timeline nor template as to when one should get Married. Everything depends on when you feel right about it.

ademasta:
Yea

By serious, I meant lucrative business.

Lol...no.Why?

Sirvingeo:
I know you are born in march . I'm certain .

whitelotus:
A friend of mine, a man, just got engaged. He is 34.

On our "group of friends" WhatsApp group, someone mentioned that the guy is marrying too late. It started a whole debate. The guy getting married at 34 defended himself that he waited until he had money, as starting a family is no joke, financially.

Some people were arguing that one should just get married at 25 and everything will fall into place.

I got married at 30 and people on the group were also blasting me that I got married a bit late. I am a man also

What do you guys think?

Please, mature responses

Change your circle of friends.

CsRockefeller:
30 isnt late na.

Your friend said he was waiting to make money abi? Guess what? My friend just lost his job yesterday. I wish people would understand that word "money"

If I was a yoruba guy, I would have gotten married right now at 28 because only a Yoruba woman is ready to start small with you and watch it grow.

With d little u have and with what they have, they dont mind starting d journey even Beroms from Plateau are like that.

But u see Igbo gals, tufiakwa!!....... Its d love of money from them and their families that is their undoing.

Its just that I want to keep my bloodline in d Igbo way, if not......

Spot on!

CsRockefeller:
30 isnt late na.

Your friend said he was waiting to make money abi? Guess what? My friend just lost his job yesterday. I wish people would understand that word "money"

If I was a yoruba guy, I would have gotten married right now at 28 because only a Yoruba woman is ready to start small with you and watch it grow.

With d little u have and with what they have, they dont mind starting d journey even Beroms from Plateau are like that.

But u see Igbo gals, tufiakwa!!....... Its d love of money from them and their families that is their undoing.

Its just that I want to keep my bloodline in d Igbo way, if not......

Igbo girls and their penchance for wealth.

You really get the drift: a yoruba lady doesn't mind starting small.

CsRockefeller:
30 isnt late na.

Your friend said he was waiting to make money abi? Guess what? My friend just lost his job yesterday. I wish people would understand that word "money"

If I was a yoruba guy, I would have gotten married right now at 28 because only a Yoruba woman is ready to start small with you and watch it grow.

With d little u have and with what they have, they dont mind starting d journey even Beroms from Plateau are like that.

But u see Igbo gals, tufiakwa!!....... Its d love of money from them and their families that is their undoing.

Its just that I want to keep my bloodline in d Igbo way, if not......

Thank God you know

Norphiee:
Thank God you know

You Igbo or Yoruba?

CsRockefeller:
You Igbo or Yoruba?

Yoruba by the grace of God

Norphiee:
Yoruba by the grace of God

You should be married then or close to.

CsRockefeller:


You should be married then or close to.

Nahh,...unripe for that

Norphiee:
Nahh,...unripe for that

Ok.

Asuito7:
The best time for a man to marry is in his 20's. The satisfaction and rest that you will get later in life after using your youthful energy to raise a family is beyond description.

Check back, our forefathers marry early.
Even today, many men in Europe marry early. They really know the reason.
Even in Africa, Nigeria in particular, look very well the majority of men from wealthy homes graduates early and marry early.

But the reality for the majority of Nigerian(note that majority of Nigerian are poor) is that our men marry late mainly because of economic reasons. Even at that, there are exceptions, those who know the benefit of marrying early even when they are poor.

All in all the best time for a man to marry is in his 20's

Bros before you comment on sometimes use your sense
In this Nigeria that someone will marry at 20s , when at 20s 90% of them don't have up to 10k in their account

Bennysam:
Bros before you comment on sometimes use your sense
In this Nigeria that someone will marry at 20s , when at 20s 90% of them don't have up to 10k in their account

Are you OK?
Did you not read the part I said because of economic reasons Nigerian men can't marry in their 20's since majority of the populace are poor

Or you just rush to quote or comment

Now go back and read what I wrote, thereafter check who is not using his sense and his comprehension ability

Asuito7:
Are you OK?
Did you not read the part I said because of economic reasons Nigerian men can't marry in their 20's since majority of the populace are poor

Or you just rush to quote or comment

Now go back and read what I wrote, thereafter check who is not using his sense and his comprehension ability

Even with good economy a man supposed to be matured mentally before marriage, at least 30 years of age you people should stop copying white people and come here to talk nonsense

I ll be 33 by June not married, just managing with a salary of 65k after tax and U expect me get married,? Somethings are just beyond explanation. I wish I had a child long before now.
Waiting for this money of a thing to come before marriage isn't for all guys. I swear, na my experience.

Bennysam:
Even with good economy a man supposed to be matured mentally before marriage, at least 30 years of age you people should stop copying white people and come here to talk nonsense

I go with this

Bennysam:
Even with good economy a man supposed to be matured mentally before marriage, at least 30 years of age you people should stop copying white people and come here to talk nonsense

since you think so, let me ask you some questions:
So the white men who marry early are doing nonsense abi?
Is maturity tied to the age of 30 and above?

Have you not seen(through pictures) or heard or been told that majority of our parents and forefathers back then marry early? Or they were doing nonsense?
What do you mean by matured mentally?

Do you implied that a man in his 20's is not mentally matured? If so what will you say of those men who behave as adult babies or fool at their 30's and 40's? At least if you said they(men in their 20's) are not 'matured economically' I will agree with you.

Let me tell you what you don't know: many men(not all) who marry early always have a tested and trusted and long lasting marriages.

James4bright:
My landlord got marry at the age of 65 to his 9th wife and had two daughters.

I'd rather just have a baby mama right now, marriage isn't something I even want to go into right now.

my brother u don't understand how igbos are, u don't have to be rich to marry u just have to be financially stable, or do u want to marry and bring kids u won't feed, aside that will you do family planning maybe to hv one child or Jst two, Jst check how igbo families are with other tribes at least one or two children will be graduate, my motto if you can't feed ur self proper don't bother feeding another, I hve sisters n I have conversations with there husbands dey will nva advice a struggling young man to marry

Lush100:
Guy it's personal thing or goal.
I set a personal target when I was in the University that I would marry by a particular age at most.
Infact I never had a gf prior then.
I told my self that any girl I see at that age I would marry(as far as I like what I see).
Infact the lady had everything going against her including my parents.
Guy we married.
I had a friend that married at 25 years too that was his target.
Immediately he got a job, he married.
He resigned and went for piloting after few years in marriage.
Today he's a pilot.

It's better you marry young but set a target.

so who was feeding the family when he was away to aviation school is it the wife or another people

initially he had someone who was to sponsor him, (who was also a pilot- a high ranking pilot).
he had 2 elder brothers, his father also had some support ready.
though at a point he mentioned the sponsor was a bit non-committal due to the high cost.
but his bros and pop i think gave him back-up.
I also presumably sure he sought for some back up too by himself.

i had no info on his wife.
He's doing well now.
i guess it wasn't an easy step but he had that passion right from time.

chigo5:
so who was feeding the family when he was away to aviation school is it the wife or another people

Lush100:
initially he had someone who was to sponsor him, (who was also a pilot- a high ranking pilot).
he had 2 elder brothers, his father also had some support ready.
though at a point he mentioned the sponsor was a bit non-committal due to the high cost.
but his bros and pop i think gave him back-up.
I also presumably sure he sought for some back up too by himself.

i had no info on his wife.
He's doing well now.
i guess it wasn't an easy step but he had that passion right from time.

da means he has support

That's to become a pilot not to get married.

chigo5:
da means he has support