₦airaland Forum

Suzzi23:
Hi guys. Please I need advice.

There is this guy in my department. Let's call him Joe. He is good looking and very intelligent. He also has this very nice voice and good vocabulary. Initially we were just normal casual classmates, we greet, exchange notes and all that, nothing serious. I've always found him attractive but have not found him special in any way because I've met lots of guys like him in my University.

But few months ago he started becoming more friendly towards me. We got talking and we realized we shared a lot in common. He asked me if I was single and I told him I was. This was the truth because I wasn't dating anyone then.

Few days after another guy I was very close to asked me to be his girlfriend and I agreed. I'm in love with this guy. He is very jovial, intelligent and he knows how to treat me well. I know he loves me because I've known him for a while and he has treated me with love, affection and respect. It's always fun being around him and I enjoy his company.

Despite now being in a relationship, I still continued spending time with Joe. We shared a lot of deep intimate info about ourselves with each other. I have never felt more comfortable talking to someone before. Talking to him always made me feel good. I felt I could be vulnerable with him. He was very honest and didn't hide the dark aspects of himself. He wasn't the type to pretend he was a good person. And he wasn't. He had done a lot of bad things in the past and he wasn't afraid to talk to me about them. And although this might sound weird I liked the fact that he wasn't the typical "moral individual" I was used to meeting. I liked the fact that he had a dark personality that only me knew about. He said things to me that made me begin to explore myself and my sexuality in ways I didn't even imagine that I could. He was always fond of teasing me and never hesitated to correct me if I did anything wrong. I loved that kind of honesty.

As we talked more Joe opened up to me that he was attracted to me and had feelings for me. He would flirt with me and I'd try my best not to flirt back but I enjoyed his flirting and I enjoyed his company. He asked me if I felt the same way about him and I was honest and I said I had feelings for him, because I did. He is an attractive guy and even though I have a boyfriend I can't help being attracted to him..

He then asked me to be his girlfriend and I told him I was already dating someone. He was surprised by my response. He told me he was under the impression that I was single and that's why he had gotten so close and intimate with me. But he didn't appear angry or sad. He even told me my bf was lucky to have me.

The problem now is that since that day he hasn't talked to me. When I see him in class, he doesn't even act like I exist. He doesn't reply my messages, doesn't pick up my calls and doesn't check up on me. Throughout this lockdown he hasn't even texted me once. This is unlike him. I feel very bad about the whole thing. It's almost like our relationship didn't mean anything to him and I didn't mean anything to him. I want to still be friends with him.

You gave him green light and you dissapointed him, when a guy shows you such level of affection as you described and even tells you about his feelings for him it means either he is sexually attracted to you and would like to be your sex partner or he has you in mind to be his life partner and marry you. You should have let him know earlier and reduce any conversation that is intimate in nature. The only thing you can do now is to apologise and let him realize that you see him as a brother and any girl that dates him will be a lucky girl.

LewsTherin:
Thank you

You read the wheel of time books?

Suzzi23:
Hi guys. Please I need advice.

There is this guy in my department. Let's call him Joe. He is good looking and very intelligent. He also has this very nice voice and good vocabulary. Initially we were just normal casual classmates, we greet, exchange notes and all that, nothing serious. I've always found him attractive but have not found him special in any way because I've met lots of guys like him in my University.

But few months ago he started becoming more friendly towards me. We got talking and we realized we shared a lot in common. He asked me if I was single and I told him I was. This was the truth because I wasn't dating anyone then.

Few days after another guy I was very close to asked me to be his girlfriend and I agreed. I'm in love with this guy. He is very jovial, intelligent and he knows how to treat me well. I know he loves me because I've known him for a while and he has treated me with love, affection and respect. It's always fun being around him and I enjoy his company.

Despite now being in a relationship, I still continued spending time with Joe. We shared a lot of deep intimate info about ourselves with each other. I have never felt more comfortable talking to someone before. Talking to him always made me feel good. I felt I could be vulnerable with him. He was very honest and didn't hide the dark aspects of himself. He wasn't the type to pretend he was a good person. And he wasn't. He had done a lot of bad things in the past and he wasn't afraid to talk to me about them. And although this might sound weird I liked the fact that he wasn't the typical "moral individual" I was used to meeting. I liked the fact that he had a dark personality that only me knew about. He said things to me that made me begin to explore myself and my sexuality in ways I didn't even imagine that I could. He was always fond of teasing me and never hesitated to correct me if I did anything wrong. I loved that kind of honesty.

As we talked more Joe opened up to me that he was attracted to me and had feelings for me. He would flirt with me and I'd try my best not to flirt back but I enjoyed his flirting and I enjoyed his company. He asked me if I felt the same way about him and I was honest and I said I had feelings for him, because I did. He is an attractive guy and even though I have a boyfriend I can't help being attracted to him..

He then asked me to be his girlfriend and I told him I was already dating someone. He was surprised by my response. He told me he was under the impression that I was single and that's why he had gotten so close and intimate with me. But he didn't appear angry or sad. He even told me my bf was lucky to have me.

The problem now is that since that day he hasn't talked to me. When I see him in class, he doesn't even act like I exist. He doesn't reply my messages, doesn't pick up my calls and doesn't check up on me. Throughout this lockdown he hasn't even texted me once. This is unlike him. I feel very bad about the whole thing. It's almost like our relationship didn't mean anything to him and I didn't mean anything to him. I want to still be friends with him.

maybe him thinks giving u space will help him get over u

Raydos:
Girls like OP will be very easy to have sex with!!

If Joe had waited a little bit longer, He will definitely Kpansh this OP, But I guess He isn't a bad guy, Cos According to this write-up, OP likes Joe already!

I was once in Joe's shoes too, She also told me She has a boyfriend, But by the look of things, I sensed she's still kinda into me

Las Las I Yansh the girl, Upon say she get Boyfriend ooo!!

Badt guy Chop knuckle..

I love this

J111333:
For wanting to friendzone that innocent but smart dude, you probably won't make heaven.

You are confused
.

Suzzi23

The fault is almost entirely yours. Why do I say this?

You guys were so close that you forgot to tell him you have a boyfriend? You didn't think it was necessary.

It's never too wise to get too comfy with someone of the opposite sex. You might as well be dTijg. It's almost unnatural.

Deep down, you knew he wanted more. Since you couldn't give him, you should have placed boundaries on your friendship. You didn't tell him you had a boyfriend because you didn't know how he would tske it. Which really means you had a good idea which is not well.

Millennialaku:
My prediction with what you have just said

Joe will smash your kitten before your "boyfriend " if he plays his game well

if you think both Joe and the other guy hasn't smashed it you are being deceived. I'm telling you

Why are you bothered?.. the guy obviously knows what he wants. It’s dating or nothing, so as to avoid friend zone... Don’t complain, just move on... if he smash you Japa, you go still complain

Suzzi23:
Hi guys. Please I need advice.

There is this guy in my department. Let's call him Joe. He is good looking and very intelligent. He also has this very nice voice and good vocabulary. Initially we were just normal casual classmates, we greet, exchange notes and all that, nothing serious. I've always found him attractive but have not found him special in any way because I've met lots of guys like him in my University.

But few months ago he started becoming more friendly towards me. We got talking and we realized we shared a lot in common. He asked me if I was single and I told him I was. This was the truth because I wasn't dating anyone then.

Few days after another guy I was very close to asked me to be his girlfriend and I agreed. I'm in love with this guy. He is very jovial, intelligent and he knows how to treat me well. I know he loves me because I've known him for a while and he has treated me with love, affection and respect. It's always fun being around him and I enjoy his company.

Despite now being in a relationship, I still continued spending time with Joe. We shared a lot of deep intimate info about ourselves with each other. I have never felt more comfortable talking to someone before. Talking to him always made me feel good. I felt I could be vulnerable with him. He was very honest and didn't hide the dark aspects of himself. He wasn't the type to pretend he was a good person. And he wasn't. He had done a lot of bad things in the past and he wasn't afraid to talk to me about them. And although this might sound weird I liked the fact that he wasn't the typical "moral individual" I was used to meeting. I liked the fact that he had a dark personality that only me knew about. He said things to me that made me begin to explore myself and my sexuality in ways I didn't even imagine that I could. He was always fond of teasing me and never hesitated to correct me if I did anything wrong. I loved that kind of honesty.

As we talked more Joe opened up to me that he was attracted to me and had feelings for me. He would flirt with me and I'd try my best not to flirt back but I enjoyed his flirting and I enjoyed his company. He asked me if I felt the same way about him and I was honest and I said I had feelings for him, because I did. He is an attractive guy and even though I have a boyfriend I can't help being attracted to him..

He then asked me to be his girlfriend and I told him I was already dating someone. He was surprised by my response. He told me he was under the impression that I was single and that's why he had gotten so close and intimate with me. But he didn't appear angry or sad. He even told me my bf was lucky to have me.

The problem now is that since that day he hasn't talked to me. When I see him in class, he doesn't even act like I exist. He doesn't reply my messages, doesn't pick up my calls and doesn't check up on me. Throughout this lockdown he hasn't even texted me once. This is unlike him. I feel very bad about the whole thing. It's almost like our relationship didn't mean anything to him and I didn't mean anything to him. I want to still be friends with him.

My type of guy.
I like him

Your papa send you go learn for school but na man matter you wan go specialize for, sorry o.

NekkyCee:
Hi... I'll go through it.

I'm Good. Trust you're doing fab.

.. The young man's heart won't be in.. . That's why some men approach and ask out first, and then later go on to build the relationship, so scenarios like these kinds are avoided. Now we have three wounded soul's, all three would somehow some heart fragmentations.

..if I meet a lady I feel inspired to want to build long term with, I'll rather ask her out from day one, and go on to spend as long as she finds comfortable to build it up. How do you see my approach

humilitypays:
Joe must be a Nairalander because Nairaland guys seems to be the wisest guys on earth when it comes to women matter and romance, any lady that succeeds in chopping a Nairaland guy mugu or friendzoning a nairaland guy deserves an award, kai

joe must be a red piller.i can vouch on that

descartes400:
Bestie indeed.

we are on the same page .bestie is the same thing as fukmate.we all know

@Lamanii22, Twelve canticles for your thoughts. If it were me,I would bounce immediately. I don't believe in stupid, banal,vacuous friendship with people of the opposite sex if it's not based on business or anything that brings opportunities.
If the OP swaps roles with the guy ,or tries to live through that experience, she'll realise how shattered an expecting heart could become.

Jaeis:
Baba d baba

C'mon girl, you did him dirty and still complaining of him not calling you.

When you got yourself a boyfriend why didn't you share this with him ? You claimed you guys share deep stuff about each other.

You betrayed the poor boy!

hopexter:
. Having too many male friends is a distraction to a female student.

gbam

Are you confused about the way he's treating you now? Which means you forgot that...

He does not want to be just friends with you and he will NEVER go back to being just friends with you. Try to be happy with your boyfriend and move on with your life.

Suzzi23:
The problem

For him to have given up on you shows that either he's not smart or he possibly doesn't believe it's worth the while to keep pressing anyway. If I'm convinced you're mine, forget it, I won't give up until I have you.

Suzzi23:
Hi guys. Please I need advice.

There is this guy in my department. Let's call him Joe. He is good looking and very intelligent. He also has this very nice voice and good vocabulary. Initially we were just normal casual classmates, we greet, exchange notes and all that, nothing serious. I've always found him attractive but have not found him special in any way because I've met lots of guys like him in my University.

But few months ago he started becoming more friendly towards me. We got talking and we realized we shared a lot in common. He asked me if I was single and I told him I was. This was the truth because I wasn't dating anyone then.

Few days after another guy I was very close to asked me to be his girlfriend and I agreed. I'm in love with this guy. He is very jovial, intelligent and he knows how to treat me well. I know he loves me because I've known him for a while and he has treated me with love, affection and respect. It's always fun being around him and I enjoy his company.

Despite now being in a relationship, I still continued spending time with Joe. We shared a lot of deep intimate info about ourselves with each other. I have never felt more comfortable talking to someone before. Talking to him always made me feel good. I felt I could be vulnerable with him. He was very honest and didn't hide the dark aspects of himself. He wasn't the type to pretend he was a good person. And he wasn't. He had done a lot of bad things in the past and he wasn't afraid to talk to me about them. And although this might sound weird I liked the fact that he wasn't the typical "moral individual" I was used to meeting. I liked the fact that he had a dark personality that only me knew about. He said things to me that made me begin to explore myself and my sexuality in ways I didn't even imagine that I could. He was always fond of teasing me and never hesitated to correct me if I did anything wrong. I loved that kind of honesty.

As we talked more Joe opened up to me that he was attracted to me and had feelings for me. He would flirt with me and I'd try my best not to flirt back but I enjoyed his flirting and I enjoyed his company. He asked me if I felt the same way about him and I was honest and I said I had feelings for him, because I did. He is an attractive guy and even though I have a boyfriend I can't help being attracted to him..

He then asked me to be his girlfriend and I told him I was already dating someone. He was surprised by my response. He told me he was under the impression that I was single and that's why he had gotten so close and intimate with me. But he didn't appear angry or sad. He even told me my bf was lucky to have me.

The problem now is that since that day he hasn't talked to me. When I see him in class, he doesn't even act like I exist. He doesn't reply my messages, doesn't pick up my calls and doesn't check up on me. Throughout this lockdown he hasn't even texted me once. This is unlike him. I feel very bad about the whole thing. It's almost like our relationship didn't mean anything to him and I didn't mean anything to him. I want to still be friends with him.

you can't have your cake and eat it

Suzzi23:
Hi guys. Please I need advice.

There is this guy in my department. Let's call him Joe...... This is unlike him. I feel very bad about the whole thing. It's almost like our relationship didn't mean anything to him and I didn't mean anything to him. I want to still be friends with him.

Pls hold it right there. How can you be playing with somebody's son's emotions and when he finally airs his heart out and you break it with heart wrecking words - "I have a boyfriend", all of a sudden everything becomes about you. The Niqqa doesn't want his emotions toyed with... Capische.

Some girls can be so egoistic. Pls move on with your boyfriend and leave the innocent dude alone. It's not by force to die for you. You're not The Queen of England.

othermen:
Buy 7 candles, when it is 12AM, light it all. Call out his name 21 times, do these while fasting for 20days. He will talk to you.

Bad boy!

Millenniumlady:
Use the both guys to your advantage


Keep joe guy for assignments and handout test and other class stuff



While use the new guy for your finances phones,clothes,eateries wigs


And please stay in school hostle that way non of them can bother you with sex cause they can't gain access to girls hostel and you ever visit any of them reduce your sexual conversation with joe guy and learn to keep your phone private.....Hope it helps

u should have sent this to her DM

J111333:
For wanting to friendzone that innocent but smart dude, you probably won't make heaven.

I don't know what girls enjoy in that dastard act. I told one to delete my number but guy she no gree o. I'm contemplating changing my line.

Millenniumlady:
Use the both guys to your advantage


Keep joe guy for assignments and handout test and other class stuff



While use the new guy for your finances phones,clothes,eateries wigs


And please stay in school hostle that way non of them can bother you with sex cause they can't gain access to girls hostel and you ever visit any of them reduce your sexual conversation with joe guy and learn to keep your phone private.....Hope it helps

u are so dumb... I can see u don't read... Someone is here seeking for advice on how to go back to talking terms with the said joe who is snubbing her hardcore and u are here talking about taking advantage on an almost lost course.... Keep typing nonsense to suit ur level of ignorance.

Best advice yet

othermen:
Buy 7 candles, when it is 12AM, light it all. Call out his name 21 times, do these while fasting for 20days. He will talk to you.

HARDDON:
Second emphasized. Arrrrrrrrhhhhhh.

Can't we just flow without this boring, annoying tautology?

He is really living out his name. Average Joe!

Here is a free meal, and uncle went to just soil it with stupid questions.

Harddon where you being?

OP, I must say u were very selfish in your relationship with Joe. U know u really liked Joe, u should have held out for him allittle bit longer but no, u agreed to the first person that asked. Joe knows what he wants just that d other guy beat him to it. U shld let him be to find himself a gf. Attaching urself to him won't give me chances or morale. He did d best thing to cut off all comms. I won't say Joe dulled, cos sometimes ladies don't know what they want. Joe might have asked earlier and she may have said no.

What should he have done differently?

Minemrys:
Isn't it obvious? The guy is a nice guy. He got interested in you, but found out u are in a relati0nship, and n0w he wants to m0ve on by avoiding you. He didn't get close to u just to be friends, and when he figured things w0n't go his way, he lets things be. Probably the guy is an em0ti0nal pers0n and doesn't want to get hurt, so he figured he has to leave in time. I suggest u let him be rather than u give him hope on s0mething that would never be.

Millenniumlady:
Use the both guys to your advantage


Keep joe guy for assignments and handout test and other class stuff



While use the new guy for your finances phones,clothes,eateries wigs


And please stay in school hostle that way non of them can bother you with sex cause they can't gain access to girls hostel and you ever visit any of them reduce your sexual conversation with joe guy and learn to keep your phone private.....Hope it helps

Some ladies like you will always regret while they come to this Earth at last. My advice to everyone is never you play with someone's emotion because the rewards will be to much for you to harvest alone. @OP, you may listen to this devilish and self centered advice at your own peril. Remember gal 6:7.