₦airaland Forum

hope4nigeria:
No different between you and Ops father, so you see nothing wrong here right?

no o. I made a post about my own personal experience too. Because his story is similar to mine, but later modified the post before it got to FP. Didn't know it will get to FP.

With due respect bro, ur father will continue to lazy around as long as he sees free food to eat everyday not minding if u guys have eaten or not! And ur mum shud continue to stay if she wants to die young and not reap the fruit of her labour! U really need to bundle her out of there if u care abt her or else I pray make that man no use am for money rituals one-day!

It's better you let them be and allow them kill themselves if possible. Speaking from experience, you'll later be the one to receive heat and mouthlash and blasphame at the end of the day. Why? Some women find it appealing in their misguided idea to pamper their hubbys not thinking about the kind of effect it would have on the children, making the husband useless and vussionless, at a time the woman will be overstrained and you may pity her. Please don't its her cross. Let her carry him as long as she possibly can. Its her cross, you have your own life to live, and moreover their way of life had a negative effect on you already, head to warning, don't allow them destroy your own vision!

Lekan239:
uncles from my dad's don't Care I.e even if they are okay themselves. Father's mother is in the village sufferin. The only family who is a little bit okay, promise me and abandoned. My mom's family are always ready to help her out, but she won't ask for help, in fact they don't even know what she passing through

OMG!!

Lekan239:
the only place I have is my room in school, I have told her severely that she should leave, even if it's staying with me in school, I don't know maybe she's afraid of starting afresh, she's is recovering now and the lockdown is still the only issue keeping me in this House

check your email

[quote author=Lekan239 post=89201777]This same thing happened in my paternal fam, my grandpa was tooo harsh though, buh very hardworking and responsible, buh you know these people with silly protocols The children didn't even argue with my grandpa, they just flew out there mother to Canada. For good 10+ years the old woman was just flexing all over Europe, until she came back recently.

So had been you and your siblings are buoyant enough to take care of your mum, it would have just been a knockout action for the man. So for now there's little you could do for her now since you don't have much.


MY ADVICE: You need to seek out financial help from your maternal side, since they are OK. Explain things to them and I'm sure they would help. Ensure your mum eats enough in the house and save her from irrelevant arguments as per your dad.

Your mum needs you more now!

Goodluck bro, wish her fast recovery!

God bless our mothers!!!

hope4nigeria:
No different between you and Ops father, so you see nothing wrong here right?

I have modified and share my experience back. You can refresh it now

UR MUM HAS NO RELATIONS?U CAN ARRANGE WITH THEM TO GET UR MUM OUT OF THE PLACE!THIS IS VERY URGENT!!

Evercurious:
Sorry to burst your bubbles. Funny enough people like Op's dad last so so long and the woman dies

He eats like it's an OCD at various times of the day thus harming his metabolism, he does not exercise much but spends time sitting down and talking to women, he's stressed and agitated all the time, he doesn't sleep much if he gets up to eat all night. These are precursors to heart disease and diabetes, because he's absolutely leading an unhealthy lifestyle.

He's on his way to the grave.

Zoie:
Another useless comment, enabling abuse and irresponsible behaviour

I only advised him not to take sides? He is better off being an unbiased umpire in this case. No matter how he sees it, it is his mother's marriage, not his. There are ways you dabble into other people's marriages, even if they are your parents. You have to be unbiased. You have to listen to both sides. The OP himself confessed that the problem began even before he was born. It would pay him to dig deeper rather than jumping into conclusion. Hopefully, his own children will not jump into conclusion against him in the future.

Moreover, how carefully he handles this would help him grow into a better man than his father. Listening to his father, seeing where everything went wrong, and how his father contributed to the mess would make him avoid such mistakes when he himself gets married.

Why Not Kill Him and Everyone is Happy?

Oh my god ! thats why your father wants to kill your mother
https://techaedgar.com/macbook-pro-2020-13-inch/

Poorboy:
in money ritual it's the valuable person in your life that they want.

So they won't need the father rather his beloved mother or siblings.

if you interested,I will direct you where they'll request your father, but your comment up there is to much of Nollywood movies where you think is only the valuable person

The four of you , his children should hang up and beat the hell out of your father. By so doing, he will have sense.

bolaji3071:
I have modified and share my experience back. You can refresh it now

God bless you, I just pity Op, that man is a sadist.

Lekan239:
My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's as if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seize to exit, this I need advice on, from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

It all began in 1993, two years later I was born (1995), then we reside in Lagos but my dad later moved to pH in search of greener pastures. He only comes back home (Lagos) once in a while. My mom tried all her best to cater for her kids during all those period with no help or whatsoever coming from my Dad. It wasn't easy at all.

Fast forward to early 2003, my dad came visiting after two years without hearing from him and then my mom decided we are going with him to pH, he opposed but my mom Insisted. To cut the long story short, after we get to pH we found out my dad was living carelessly, womanizing, his social life is zero because he doesn't drink or smoke but he lavished all his money outside and Care less about his family.

My mom strived and engaged in little business which we managed to survive on. My dad only comes home when he is Short of money and acted low and submissive but as soon as he got some money, he changed immediately.

So 2010 I left pH to the village, was writing waec, looking for admission and so on, later going to lag to hustle around 2013 as I'm the one to foot my education expenses.

2015 I gained admission in a polytechnic, after my OND in 2017 I went back to lag to begin the hustle as I have to further my education, all this period I did not visit my family in Port Harcourt. I went back for HND in 2018 but had to withdraw because of lack of funds, I went back again in 2019 because a family member advised he will foot the bills which he later didn't do.

So because of this covid 19 I visited my parents in pH. My mom was very ill, she can't move nor stand and she has been the one taking care of the family, my father inclusive. My father has been a lazy man who depends solely on his wife for survival. He does not work, he does not stay at home with his sick wife. 6am he will enter the kitchen and eat any food he finds he won't even ask if four of his kids and my mom will eat. He will go and sit down in people's shops around the streets discussing with people's wife's. 10am he will be back home, straight to the kitchen to check if there's any food if my mom had drop money for us to prepare food, he will eat it without even talking to anybody, in fact he owns the kitchen now. He repeats same 2pm, 5pm and night meal also. I'm just so angry right now I don't even know what I am typing again.

After seeing all this behavior i advised my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering.

Today this morning, my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying does my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumbles upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too.

Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction, it hurts me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who doesnt care or love her, even at her sick bed, he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.

You will not solve your mother's problem by breaking down the house. At some point in life, your mother will still need a companion, even a half enemy, when you are all gone. So leave the lazy man, let him eat food if your mother can find.

Your mother, your father have lived their lives, made their mistakes, etc. What matters is what you do.

You are at least 27 years, first child, a son and you did not visit your mother for over two years. Who then is her strength and confidant. Every woman holds her lifes aces in her first son. Check and change yourself because it seems you are walking in your fathers shoes.

As long as your mother hears your voice and knows you are progressing, she will never count the food your father steals a loss, because from him, she bore you, who is wonderful and awesome. Everything she ever dreamt of, a gift she will oneday cherish giving confidently to another young woman. Knowing she brought you up right. So make yourself awesome and wonderful, the reason why all her sacrifice was worth it. I did not say get rich quick, be availble, be involved, be attentive, listen, contribute, make solutions.

Further, if your father has resources that are under utilised in the village. Hatch a plan of what to do with them. Go over your plan with your mother. Then go over to your father and make him buy your ideas man to man. Gradually you will take over those resources and use them to carter for your mother and the rest. If your father is lazy, then he is lazy and there is nothing you can do to change that. But you can play him like a smart young man, and give comfort to your mother. If you let him carry on as is by being angry, you will loose your inheritance to strangers, resources that could help your mother.

Your parents are too old for the kind of seperation you seek. Your Mum has already finished the work. At their age, couples are rather fond of each other, not highly sexaully attracted to each other. So whats the fuse. Just use your young mind to grow your self and organise your family.

Indirect leadership. The better you do, the happier your mother will be!

Also, do not trust so much in your mothers relatives. If she goes to them they will grow weary of her after a while. The problems you have might also be in those place.

Men run from responsibilities in bad economy. It is so common, am not saying it is ok. Further, men are highly likely to run from their homes after the age of 35-45. The age of mid- life crisis. When they see they failed at there dreams. Many give up for the drudgery of day yo day survival. Most blame their choice of wife as the reason for their failure, especially those that married too early. Others just overcome by finding women outside.

One way you can help your father is to get close to him, ask a lot of questions about his dreams as a young man. You will rekindle in him hope that he can succeed and live through you. Maybe then he might surmon the energy to stand for his family. If nit, at least you all can tolerate each other better. So be the bridge and not the river.

Then guard yourself against reacting to midlife crisis like your father did. It is just psychology. Dreams are hard to build, but hope is never lost.

You won't drop out in the mighty Name of Jesus.
Please make contact with me. I'm struggling too, but God is a miracle working God and He will make a way.

Do get in touch. It will be well.

Thank you.

Lekan239:
I already have my OND in mechanical engineering, and I'm currently in HND1 but there's no clue on how I could get enough money to pay the remaining bills before exam. Sometimes I still thank God for bringing this corona virus at the right time, if not for the virus exam would have began and I would officially have been a dropout again. Either way I'm always looking forward to what life throws at me. And I'm already planning of the way forward if I eventually dropout. But all I know is that either now or later I will surely complete my education

Lekan239:
thanks so much Sir. I'm convincing her daily. It started to look as if I'm turning her away from her husband

WHAT HUSBAND? A MAN WHO IS 100% IRRESPONSIBLE AND A CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER TO HIS FAMILY! IF YOU HAVE MATERNAL RELATIONS YOU ARE CLOSE TO , DISCUSS WITH THEM ON HOW YOU CAN SAVE YOUR MOM. NOTHING COMPARES TO HAVING A MOM.

Lekan239:
My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's as if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seize to exit, this I need advice on, from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

It all began in 1993, two years later I was born (1995), then we reside in Lagos but my dad later moved to pH in search of greener pastures. He only comes back home (Lagos) once in a while. My mom tried all her best to cater for her kids during all those period with no help or whatsoever coming from my Dad. It wasn't easy at all.

Fast forward to early 2003, my dad came visiting after two years without hearing from him and then my mom decided we are going with him to pH, he opposed but my mom Insisted. To cut the long story short, after we get to pH we found out my dad was living carelessly, womanizing, his social life is zero because he doesn't drink or smoke but he lavished all his money outside and Care less about his family.

My mom strived and engaged in little business which we managed to survive on. My dad only comes home when he is Short of money and acted low and submissive but as soon as he got some money, he changed immediately.

So 2010 I left pH to the village, was writing waec, looking for admission and so on, later going to lag to hustle around 2013 as I'm the one to foot my education expenses.

2015 I gained admission in a polytechnic, after my OND in 2017 I went back to lag to begin the hustle as I have to further my education, all this period I did not visit my family in Port Harcourt. I went back for HND in 2018 but had to withdraw because of lack of funds, I went back again in 2019 because a family member advised he will foot the bills which he later didn't do.

So because of this covid 19 I visited my parents in pH. My mom was very ill, she can't move nor stand and she has been the one taking care of the family, my father inclusive. My father has been a lazy man who depends solely on his wife for survival. He does not work, he does not stay at home with his sick wife. 6am he will enter the kitchen and eat any food he finds he won't even ask if four of his kids and my mom will eat. He will go and sit down in people's shops around the streets discussing with people's wife's. 10am he will be back home, straight to the kitchen to check if there's any food if my mom had drop money for us to prepare food, he will eat it without even talking to anybody, in fact he owns the kitchen now. He repeats same 2pm, 5pm and night meal also. I'm just so angry right now I don't even know what I am typing again.

After seeing all this behavior i advised my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering.

Today this morning, my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying does my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumbles upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too.

Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction, it hurts me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who doesnt care or love her, even at her sick bed, he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.

why dont u just asked GOD to call him since to u and the family he is a useless man.but does he do good sex for ur mum ccus sex is health o.

Evercurious:
I live this and I believe this should be Op"s last resort should his mum refuse to move or keeps going back to her husband.

JUST MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE,Op. LEARN TO BE SELFISH AT THIS POINT. NO TIME TO WASTE AMD LEARN TO TAKE DECISIONS WITH LITTLE OR NO EMOTIONS ATTACHED.

Exactly, our father made us tough because we forgot about him completely. My younger sister who is the last among us now reasons like a full grown woman, nothing moves her. She sees every challenge as a stepping stone. She will be graduating this year without any assistance from any relative....We have been taking care of ourselves from day one. Even when he dies today am not sure any of us will attend his burial. What's on my mind now is how to complete my programme and get married in not too distant future and be a responsible husband/father. I will shower my children with the fatherly love our father deprived us.

Baba God please bless me with a virtuous woman when the time comes.

BackToLife:
This is not ordinary at all. He is has been under serious demonic attack because of his glorious Destiny. Blood is very very powerful, you his children can help deliver him by going to do MFM 3days dry fasting on his behalf. Thoughout the 3 days, those of you that go should be shouting to Heaven, that demonic authority that put your father in this bondage if being useless should be roasted to ashes by Fire of YAHWEH in Jesus' Name. All of you shall be shocked when you see the permanent Joyful transformation that shall happen in your family immediately after the Prayer Program. You people should arise and fight with this infallible Weapon of Prayer before it becomes too late for your family. Shalom.

is it only men that are meant to be under this so called demonic attack of being generational wasters? Cos seems this is a man's disease abi na attack . So many fathers seem to be under this attack.

I can so relate to this. Omo we ran ooo... My mom is now in the east while my dad still lives in Lagos. And she's so happy and alive

At this age and time, peace of mind is the utmost priority.. y'all need to leave him alone and carry on with your life. You can still be praying for him to change but in the mean time, peace of mind is very key. Y'all please MOVE!!!

bolaji3071:
Your story is similar to mine. But in my own case my dad didn't come back home, but he went to the village to marry another woman.

Me and my siblings were left with my mum alone who is a trader to cater for us.

Later when my dad became sick, the woman left him. And the sickness got worsenend that they had to rush him to UCH ibadan.

It was one fateful morning of August 6, 2016 that I got a call from the village that my dad has been rushed to UCH.

And it was that same day I was preparing to upload my my documents for my school admission.

So I had to travel down to UCH from lagos that same day to stay with him at the hospital, being his first born.

We stayed there for 40 days and also he was operated on(below knee amputation).

So after the surgical injury became a little bit ok. We went for physiotherapy to learn how, so he can learn how to use clutches to walk.

So, after that he got discharged and we went back to the village.

That year, after the uploading of documents, I gained admission to study in Unilag, and around November we were asked to come to school for the physical screening.

On getting to school after my screening, I got a call that my dad has died. Mehn that was the worst day of my life.

I traveled back to oyo state that same evening. It was a very sad and bad experience for me. Despite how he was not there for me, my siblings and mum, I would never wish for him to die.

My dad's junior bro who promised then to sponsor me in school didn't come through, I have been hustling my way through during holidays with work ranging from bet9ja cashier, office assistant and all to cater for my school needs, siblings and mum,but 300level second semester was the most difficult for me.

I could not get any job to save up for 400level school fees after the holiday. Had to sell of my phone then to pay up my school fees, now in 400level. It has not been easy, but I know my story will change for good soon and I will give my mum and siblings a very better life.

I perfectly relate with all you are going through op.

MY SYMPATHIES. JAH WILL ALWAYS MAKE A WAY FOR YOU... EVEN THOUGH THINGS ARE ULTRA TOUGH RIGHT NOW.

Lekan239:
My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's as if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seize to exit, this I need advice on, from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

It all began in 1993, two years later I was born (1995), then we reside in Lagos but my dad later moved to pH in search of greener pastures. He only comes back home (Lagos) once in a while. My mom tried all her best to cater for her kids during all those period with no help or whatsoever coming from my Dad. It wasn't easy at all.

Fast forward to early 2003, my dad came visiting after two years without hearing from him and then my mom decided we are going with him to pH, he opposed but my mom Insisted. To cut the long story short, after we get to pH we found out my dad was living carelessly, womanizing, his social life is zero because he doesn't drink or smoke but he lavished all his money outside and Care less about his family.

My mom strived and engaged in little business which we managed to survive on. My dad only comes home when he is Short of money and acted low and submissive but as soon as he got some money, he changed immediately.

So 2010 I left pH to the village, was writing waec, looking for admission and so on, later going to lag to hustle around 2013 as I'm the one to foot my education expenses.

2015 I gained admission in a polytechnic, after my OND in 2017 I went back to lag to begin the hustle as I have to further my education, all this period I did not visit my family in Port Harcourt. I went back for HND in 2018 but had to withdraw because of lack of funds, I went back again in 2019 because a family member advised he will foot the bills which he later didn't do.

So because of this covid 19 I visited my parents in pH. My mom was very ill, she can't move nor stand and she has been the one taking care of the family, my father inclusive. My father has been a lazy man who depends solely on his wife for survival. He does not work, he does not stay at home with his sick wife. 6am he will enter the kitchen and eat any food he finds he won't even ask if four of his kids and my mom will eat. He will go and sit down in people's shops around the streets discussing with people's wife's. 10am he will be back home, straight to the kitchen to check if there's any food if my mom had drop money for us to prepare food, he will eat it without even talking to anybody, in fact he owns the kitchen now. He repeats same 2pm, 5pm and night meal also. I'm just so angry right now I don't even know what I am typing again.

After seeing all this behavior i advised my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering.

Today this morning, my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying does my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumbles upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too.

Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction, it hurts me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who doesnt care or love her, even at her sick bed, he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.

1.Request a quiet time with your dad.2. Get all your siblings together.3 You all kneel before your dad in obedience and humility.4. Plead with him to please reconsider his ways. 5.Don't ever be rude, arrogant or in anger while addressing him on your knees. The females among you can sob while talking. You and your siblings may do a rehearsal before meeting your dad.6. Remove any idol(s) you have seen in the house all your growing up time that you count as normal and burn it.7. Be vigilant and alert while talking with your dad perhaps he is violent type. Fast and pray as much as you can before,during and after the meeting. Our father in heaven will see your family through in Jesus name,amen.

naijaman2225:
MY SYMPATHIES. JAH WILL ALWAYS MAKE A WAY FOR YOU... EVEN THOUGH THINGS ARE ULTRA TOUGH RIGHT NOW.

Amen. Thank you sir.

The truth is there are some men that are totally USELESS. Sadly your dad is one and I don't think he will ever change.

If you guys can gather up some funds to get your mum a place please do, because she will not last long if she continues living with that man.

I am trying to be as polite as I can, but it saddens me to see there are still irresponsible men like this. Sorry if you feel I insulted your dad but that's the plain truth. He is a USELESS MAN

Germi9:
seems you are a male,but you talk like a female..i had to go check ur Monika to know whom the OP really is...smh

crackkhaus:
People like your father always get their due when the time comes. I don't believe any of you can do anything to change him because he is a middle-aged man who is already set in his ways.
Something miraculous needs to happen which will cause him to look inwards and retraces his steps, otherwise his path is set before him.

Your only priority now should be for your mother's wellbeing...so if you can keep convincing her to create some space, then keep doing that.
Ultimately, it's going to be her decision to either remain in the situation or move away for some peace of mind.

seems you are a male,but you talk like a female..i had to go check ur Monika to know whom the OP really is...smh

Lekan239:
My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's as if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seize to exit, this I need advice on, from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

It all began in 1993, two years later I was born (1995), then we reside in Lagos but my dad later moved to pH in search of greener pastures. He only comes back home (Lagos) once in a while. My mom tried all her best to cater for her kids during all those period with no help or whatsoever coming from my Dad. It wasn't easy at all.

Fast forward to early 2003, my dad came visiting after two years without hearing from him and then my mom decided we are going with him to pH, he opposed but my mom Insisted. To cut the long story short, after we get to pH we found out my dad was living carelessly, womanizing, his social life is zero because he doesn't drink or smoke but he lavished all his money outside and Care less about his family.

My mom strived and engaged in little business which we managed to survive on. My dad only comes home when he is Short of money and acted low and submissive but as soon as he got some money, he changed immediately.

So 2010 I left pH to the village, was writing waec, looking for admission and so on, later going to lag to hustle around 2013 as I'm the one to foot my education expenses.

2015 I gained admission in a polytechnic, after my OND in 2017 I went back to lag to begin the hustle as I have to further my education, all this period I did not visit my family in Port Harcourt. I went back for HND in 2018 but had to withdraw because of lack of funds, I went back again in 2019 because a family member advised he will foot the bills which he later didn't do.

So because of this covid 19 I visited my parents in pH. My mom was very ill, she can't move nor stand and she has been the one taking care of the family, my father inclusive. My father has been a lazy man who depends solely on his wife for survival. He does not work, he does not stay at home with his sick wife. 6am he will enter the kitchen and eat any food he finds he won't even ask if four of his kids and my mom will eat. He will go and sit down in people's shops around the streets discussing with people's wife's. 10am he will be back home, straight to the kitchen to check if there's any food if my mom had drop money for us to prepare food, he will eat it without even talking to anybody, in fact he owns the kitchen now. He repeats same 2pm, 5pm and night meal also. I'm just so angry right now I don't even know what I am typing again.

After seeing all this behavior i advised my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering.

Today this morning, my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying does my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumbles upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too.

Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction, it hurts me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who doesnt care or love her, even at her sick bed, he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.

Your mum's well-being should be your concern at this point.
Whatever you do, do NOT loose her.
She is the cord that is currently keeping your family together.

BluntTheApostle:
I only advised him not to take sides? He is better off being an unbiased umpire in this case. No matter how he sees it, it is his mother's marriage, not his. There are ways you dabble into other people's marriages, even if they are your parents. You have to be unbiased. You have to listen to both sides. The OP himself confessed that the problem began even before he was born. It would pay him to dig deeper rather than jumping into conclusion. Hopefully, his own children will not jump into conclusion against him in the future.

Moreover, how carefully he handles this would help him grow into a better man than his father. Listening to his father, seeing where everything went wrong, and how his father contributed to the mess would make him avoid such mistakes when he himself gets married.

Still an abuse-enabling comment.

This is a family issue. There's something between both of them.

ote author=Lekan239 post=89201777]My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's as if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seize to exit, this I need advice on, from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

It all began in 1993, two years later I was born (1995), then we reside in Lagos but my dad later moved to pH in search of greener pastures. He only comes back home (Lagos) once in a while. My mom tried all her best to cater for her kids during all those period with no help or whatsoever coming from my Dad. It wasn't easy at all.

Fast forward to early 2003, my dad came visiting after two years without hearing from him and then my mom decided we are going with him to pH, he opposed but my mom Insisted. To cut the long story short, after we get to pH we found out my dad was living carelessly, womanizing, his social life is zero because he doesn't drink or smoke but he lavished all his money outside and Care less about his family.

My mom strived and engaged in little business which we managed to survive on. My dad only comes home when he is Short of money and acted low and submissive but as soon as he got some money, he changed immediately.

So 2010 I left pH to the village, was writing waec, looking for admission and so on, later going to lag to hustle around 2013 as I'm the one to foot my education expenses.

2015 I gained admission in a polytechnic, after my OND in 2017 I went back to lag to begin the hustle as I have to further my education, all this period I did not visit my family in Port Harcourt. I went back for HND in 2018 but had to withdraw because of lack of funds, I went back again in 2019 because a family member advised he will foot the bills which he later didn't do.

So because of this covid 19 I visited my parents in pH. My mom was very ill, she can't move nor stand and she has been the one taking care of the family, my father inclusive. My father has been a lazy man who depends solely on his wife for survival. He does not work, he does not stay at home with his sick wife. 6am he will enter the kitchen and eat any food he finds he won't even ask if four of his kids and my mom will eat. He will go and sit down in people's shops around the streets discussing with people's wife's. 10am he will be back home, straight to the kitchen to check if there's any food if my mom had drop money for us to prepare food, he will eat it without even talking to anybody, in fact he owns the kitchen now. He repeats same 2pm, 5pm and night meal also. I'm just so angry right now I don't even know what I am typing again.

After seeing all this behavior i advised my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering.

Today this morning, my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying does my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumbles upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too.

Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction, it hurts me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who doesnt care or love her, even at her sick bed, he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.[/quote]Just as you explained everything here..

Explain it to her..ask her why she doesn't want to leave..If it's your sister, tell her to come and assure her that she can take care of herself..

She's going through hell..I don't understand how she's cool with it