I want to share my problem with you guys in the hopes that maybe I'll get some good advice or at least some insight into my problem.

When people first meet me their impression of me is that I'm good looking, cool and intelligent. Most girls usually assume that I have a girlfriend or a legion of side chicks that I Bleep whenever I want to.

The truth about me is that I've never been in a proper relationship with another woman before. All I've had is sexual partners that I stop talking to after I have sex with them, and girls I get intimate with just to control them and get them to fulfil my desire of having a female to own, please me and do my biding, and then I get bored of them and cease contact and move on like I never knew them.

The reason for this behavior is that I don't possess the emotional resources needed to engage in a healthy relationship with another human being. I have no empathy and I usually feel no guilt or remorse for my actions. It's impossible for me to care genuinely for another person. I don't feel people's pain or suffering and I'm not moved by the death of family members or friends. I simply do not care for any other person but myself. I've been this way for a very long time. I lack the ability to maintain relationships with people hence why I lose friends often. Relationships are usually a means to an end for me and when that end is met, I become irritated by the person I've gotten close to.

Despite the fact that I don't see the point in relationships, I still find that I get jealous of couples in healthy relationships. It's not like I want to experience what they experience, just that I am envious of the fact that they are participating in something I can't participate in.

When I find a girl that I want to get close to, I'm usually consumed with jealousy over her previous relationships, and over any current relationship she has with any member of the opposite sex, even if it's merely platonic. All I want is for her to devote all her time to me and shower me with attention and love. The problem with all this is that I don't want to reciprocate this behavior. In fact the idea of devoting attention to, and showering affection on someone else irritates me. It's all pointless, but I enjoy when it's done to me.

Another weird side to all this is that I don't just want to control the girl, I also enjoy making her feel bad, but in a way that makes her crave for me more. I enjoy poking holes in herself esteem, making her second guess the presumably good qualities she thought she possesed, making her not feel wanted by me, and making her do more to please me.

I don't love women, I only become obsessed with them. Obsessed to the point that I'm constantly tortured by thoughts of them being sexual with another guy especially when it's someone she has dated before. I want her all to myself and even if she had sex with someone before I met her or before we became close, I am filled with anger and jealousy whenever the thought crosses my mind, and I want to punish her for that. It's like I want to erase her past and replace it with me. I want to be all she's ever had. I don't want anyone else in her life and I don't want anyone else in her past.

All this must sound crazy to you guys but this is my reality and it's eating me up. I need advice.

You may want to see psychologist, for someone who doesn’t feel empathy or the pains of others is capable of unimaginable things including murder.

I DON'T FIND ANYTHING WRONG IN UR CHARACTERS. I ONLY FIND SOMETHING WRONG WITH UR MINDSET. U FEEL LIVING UR LIFE IN CONTRAST TO THE WAY OTHERS LIVE MAKES U REJECTABLE, AND THEN U WANT TO PLEASE THEM.
IT'S NOT BAD NOT HAVING FEELINGS FOR WOMEN. IT'S A GOOD SIGN U'RE MORE THAN A MAN. TRY USING THIS NATURE OF URS TO ADVANCE GOD'S KINGDOM LIKE BECOMING A PREIST UNNO?

I'm following this thread. I think i possess some of these personality traits op has.

op you just describe a little about me, especially the girls side, but I do care for my siblings and people around me.

this part describe me..
Another weird side to all this is that I don't just want to control the girl, I also enjoy making her feel bad, but in a way that makes her crave for me more. I enjoy poking holes in herself esteem, making her second guess the presumably good qualities she thought she possesed, making her not feel wanted by me,

A lot of men are like you, the only difference is you are now aware it's a defect while most men still think they are ok and have no problem


that's why a lot of them bash women at every opportunity, their problem is actually inbuilt (mostly from mistakes an adult made during their childhood). and this condition takes a conscious effort and a lot of work to rid of, but nobody can do it for you. men with such behaviour damage any woman that comes into their life, as no matter what that woman does can't fix them unless they make conscious effort to fix themselves.

You are Narcissus himself! Plus a lot of other weird mix.

I don’t even know what to say. You need Jesus... and the transformation of the Holy Spirit.

All of these traits are far from healthy.

With the strong exception of needing to control and punish, I can relate to some of those things as well. It takes me a long time to decide on a girl, even when I really like her. I usually do not see the need to date someone except I want to marry the person, hence, it is quite hard to try dating a lady to "see where it goes". Nonetheless, I would like to commit to someone and have the person committed to me.

I also dislike materialism and I'm quite simple.

Maybe I just have very high expectations or I just haven't met the right person (who isn't already taken).

No stress though. I think when I meet the right person it would be obvious. Same for you. You may even become a softie (aka simp in Nairaland terms). I think any man has the potential to become a simp in the hands of a very wise woman. He won't even realise it as long as the partner meets his expectations.

What?!!!

Richardonald:
op you just describe a little about me, especially the girls side, but I do care for my siblings and people around me.

this part describe me..
Another weird side to all this is that I don't just want to control the girl, I also enjoy making her feel bad, but in a way that makes her crave for me more. I enjoy poking holes in herself esteem, making her second guess the presumably good qualities she thought she possesed, making her not feel wanted by me,

Monfeels:
I want to share my problem with you guys in the hopes that maybe I'll get some good advice or at least some insight into my problem.

When people first meet me their impression of me is that I'm good looking, cool and intelligent. Most girls usually assume that I have a girlfriend or a legion of side chicks that I Bleep whenever I want to.

The truth about me is that I've never been in a proper relationship with another woman before. All I've had is sexual partners that I stop talking to after I have sex with them, and girls I get intimate with just to control them and get them to fulfil my desire of having a female to own, please me and do my biding, and then I get bored of them and cease contact and move on like I never knew them.

The reason for this behavior is that I don't possess the emotional resources needed to engage in a healthy relationship with another human being. I have no empathy and I usually feel no guilt or remorse for my actions. It's impossible for me to care genuinely for another person. I don't feel people's pain or suffering and I'm not moved by the death of family members or friends. I simply do not care for any other person but myself. I've been this way for a very long time. I lack the ability to maintain relationships with people hence why I lose friends often. Relationships are usually a means to an end for me and when that end is met, I become irritated by the person I've gotten close to.

Despite the fact that I don't see the point in relationships, I still find that I get jealous of couples in healthy relationships. It's not like I want to experience what they experience, just that I am envious of the fact that they are participating in something I can't participate in.

When I find a girl that I want to get close to, I'm usually consumed with jealousy over her previous relationships, and over any current relationship she has with any member of the opposite sex, even if it's merely platonic. All I want is for her to devote all her time to me and shower me with attention and love. The problem with all this is that I don't want to reciprocate this behavior. In fact the idea of devoting attention to, and showering affection on someone else irritates me. It's all pointless, but I enjoy when it's done to me.

Another weird side to all this is that I don't just want to control the girl, I also enjoy making her feel bad, but in a way that makes her crave for me more. I enjoy poking holes in herself esteem, making her second guess the presumably good qualities she thought she possesed, making her not feel wanted by me, and making her do more to please me.

I don't love women, I only become obsessed with them. Obsessed to the point that I'm constantly tortured by thoughts of them being sexual with another guy especially when it's someone she has dated before. I want her all to myself and even if she had sex with someone before I met her or before we became close, I am filled with anger and jealousy whenever the thought crosses my mind, and I want to punish her for that. It's like I want to erase her past and replace it with me. I want to be all she's ever had. I don't want anyone else in her life and I don't want anyone else in her past.

All this must sound crazy to you guys but this is my reality and it's eating me up. I need advice.

Sir I don't wanna read all ,in summary this your heart can only be heal by God cause romance land can't help you

TSBO:
With the strong exception of needing to control and punish, I can relate to some of those things as well. It takes me a long time to decide on a girl, even when I really like her. I usually do not see the need to date someone except I want to marry the person, hence, it is quite hard to try dating a lady to "see where it goes". Nonetheless, I would like to commit to someone and have the person committed to me.

I also dislike materialism and I'm quite simple.

Maybe I just have very high expectations or I just haven't met the right person (who isn't already taken).

No stress though. I think when I meet the right person it would be obvious. Same for you. You may even become a softie (aka simp in Nairaland terms). I think any man has the potential to become a simp in the hands of a very wise woman. He won't even realise it as long as the partner meets his expectations.

NO. Don't talk it down, what the OP is talking about is not that simple, I know men who are like him, and they are angry at women for not being perfect when they themselves are intolerable. they HATE women yet they are always sleeping or trying to sleep with one, just can't keep any. its NOT normal at all.

just reading his post I would think it's a friend I turned down his marriage proposal but I'm sure it's not him because that one can't write as good as the OP but he is very rich so he gets to sleep with a lot of pretty women yet feels sooo unfulfilled/unsatisfied, and hates women for not being perfect...SMH

xendra:
NO. Don't talk it down, what the OP is talking about is not that simple, I know men who are like him, and they are angry at women for not being perfect when they themselves are intolerable. they HATE women yet they are always sleeping or trying to sleep with one, just can't keep any. its NOT normal at all.

just reading his post I would think it's a friend I turned down his marriage proposal but I'm sure it's not him because that one can't write as good as the OP but he is very rich so he gets to sleep with a lot of pretty women yet feels sooo unfulfilled/unsatisfied, and hates women for not being perfect...SMH

Apologies. You're right. I shouldn't downplay it. Needing to control, punish, and tear down another person's self esteem isn't something to gloss over.

With regard to your example, HATE? That's the extreme.

For me, I like, or in some cases, love women. I just would like to have one I'm committed to.

Monfeels:
I want to share my problem with you guys in the hopes that maybe I'll get some good advice or at least some insight into my problem.

When people first meet me their impression of me is that I'm good looking, cool and intelligent. Most girls usually assume that I have a girlfriend or a legion of side chicks that I Bleep whenever I want to.

The truth about me is that I've never been in a proper relationship with another woman before. All I've had is sexual partners that I stop talking to after I have sex with them, and girls I get intimate with just to control them and get them to fulfil my desire of having a female to own, please me and do my biding, and then I get bored of them and cease contact and move on like I never knew them.

The reason for this behavior is that I don't possess the emotional resources needed to engage in a healthy relationship with another human being. I have no empathy and I usually feel no guilt or remorse for my actions. It's impossible for me to care genuinely for another person. I don't feel people's pain or suffering and I'm not moved by the death of family members or friends. I simply do not care for any other person but myself. I've been this way for a very long time. I lack the ability to maintain relationships with people hence why I lose friends often. Relationships are usually a means to an end for me and when that end is met, I become irritated by the person I've gotten close to.

Despite the fact that I don't see the point in relationships, I still find that I get jealous of couples in healthy relationships. It's not like I want to experience what they experience, just that I am envious of the fact that they are participating in something I can't participate in.

When I find a girl that I want to get close to, I'm usually consumed with jealousy over her previous relationships, and over any current relationship she has with any member of the opposite sex, even if it's merely platonic. All I want is for her to devote all her time to me and shower me with attention and love. The problem with all this is that I don't want to reciprocate this behavior. In fact the idea of devoting attention to, and showering affection on someone else irritates me. It's all pointless, but I enjoy when it's done to me.

Another weird side to all this is that I don't just want to control the girl, I also enjoy making her feel bad, but in a way that makes her crave for me more. I enjoy poking holes in herself esteem, making her second guess the presumably good qualities she thought she possesed, making her not feel wanted by me, and making her do more to please me.

I don't love women, I only become obsessed with them. Obsessed to the point that I'm constantly tortured by thoughts of them being sexual with another guy especially when it's someone she has dated before. I want her all to myself and even if she had sex with someone before I met her or before we became close, I am filled with anger and jealousy whenever the thought crosses my mind, and I want to punish her for that. It's like I want to erase her past and replace it with me. I want to be all she's ever had. I don't want anyone else in her life and I don't want anyone else in her past.

All this must sound crazy to you guys but this is my reality and it's eating me up. I need advice.

You possess some weird traits and I think there is a problem. I will advice you see a physiologist, as anything I will say may not be really accurate.

TSBO:


Apologies. You're right. I shouldn't downplay it. Needing to control, punish, and tear down another person's self esteem isn't something to gloss over.

With regard to your example, HATE? That's the extreme.

For me, I like, or in some cases, love women. I just would like to have one I'm committed to.

There could be a number of reasons for this:
Sociopathy
PTSD
Major depressive disorder
Emotional detachment
Alexithymia
Low empathetic response without underlying cause

He stated he never felt empathy for "ANYONE" but for some reason that woman you quoted decided to assume he is a MISOGYNIST. Everything just have to be centered arround women huh smh

Weebo:

There could be a number of reasons for this:
Sociopathy
PTSD
Major depressive disorder
Emotional detachment
Alexithymia
Low empathetic response without underlying cause

He stated he never felt empathy for "ANYONE" but for some reason that woman you quoted decided to assume he is a MISOGYNIST. Everything just have to be centered arround women huh smh

NO, he is not a misogynist, I'm starting to think you are one.

I explained it's a defect and I wrote what I know about it. showing narcissistic and emotionally unavailable traits is different from simply being a misogynist, that's just an after effect.

Richardonald:
op you just describe a little about me, especially the girls side, but I do care for my siblings and people around me.

this part describe me..
Another weird side to all this is that I don't just want to control the girl, I also enjoy making her feel bad, but in a way that makes her crave for me more. I enjoy poking holes in herself esteem, making her second guess the presumably good qualities she thought she possesed, making her not feel wanted by me,

If you are trying to put another person down to feel good about yourself or inflict pain or damage to another person to feel good about yourself, this shows that you are lacking self esteem and you are feeling deeply pain for yourself, so basically what you are doing is feeding on another persons esteem to regulate yourself, that is a sign of Narcissism.

You creating this thread actually puts a question mark on your Epistle, if you didn't give a fvck so as much to come online to play make believe, you wouldn't be Cumming all over the place

.

Op, you're a dark triad man!!
Don't think of it in its absolute term, it's more of a spectrum, perhaps you find yourself at the extreme.
I am one as well, only that I am a bit empathic.

Everything has to go my own way in a relationship, I make sure it stays that way.
I am sort of selfish and self centered myself, I don't know if it's bad.

I'd say you're a narcissist, but you're self aware. People like you usually have deep-seated abandonment issues or suffer from fear of rejection. You only skim the surface when it comes to emotions, so noone can get close enough to inflict any sort of pain. Get them before they get you type of thing. Underneath the seemingly uncaring facade, there's actually an extremely sensitive person that's scared to death of getting hurt, so they put up all these defences to protect their mushy core. Something like a human crustacean One person will manage to break down your walls though, mark my words. But it'll only take one person. It won't be easy sailing. There'll be a lot of vacillation between enmeshment & suffocation on your part. Good luck to the poor girl

Grow up

You have a mental issue of which you don't or have not realized.

What you have described above are the hallmarks of anti-social personality disorder. So, you could either be a psychopath, sociopath or just another self indulgent little priick.

Monfeels:
I want to share my problem with you guys in the hopes that maybe I'll get some good advice or at least some insight into my problem.

When people first meet me their impression of me is that I'm good looking, cool and intelligent. Most girls usually assume that I have a girlfriend or a legion of side chicks that I Bleep whenever I want to.

The truth about me is that I've never been in a proper relationship with another woman before. All I've had is sexual partners that I stop talking to after I have sex with them, and girls I get intimate with just to control them and get them to fulfil my desire of having a female to own, please me and do my biding, and then I get bored of them and cease contact and move on like I never knew them.

The reason for this behavior is that I don't possess the emotional resources needed to engage in a healthy relationship with another human being. I have no empathy and I usually feel no guilt or remorse for my actions. It's impossible for me to care genuinely for another person. I don't feel people's pain or suffering and I'm not moved by the death of family members or friends. I simply do not care for any other person but myself. I've been this way for a very long time. I lack the ability to maintain relationships with people hence why I lose friends often. Relationships are usually a means to an end for me and when that end is met, I become irritated by the person I've gotten close to.

Despite the fact that I don't see the point in relationships, I still find that I get jealous of couples in healthy relationships. It's not like I want to experience what they experience, just that I am envious of the fact that they are participating in something I can't participate in.

When I find a girl that I want to get close to, I'm usually consumed with jealousy over her previous relationships, and over any current relationship she has with any member of the opposite sex, even if it's merely platonic. All I want is for her to devote all her time to me and shower me with attention and love. The problem with all this is that I don't want to reciprocate this behavior. In fact the idea of devoting attention to, and showering affection on someone else irritates me. It's all pointless, but I enjoy when it's done to me.

Another weird side to all this is that I don't just want to control the girl, I also enjoy making her feel bad, but in a way that makes her crave for me more. I enjoy poking holes in herself esteem, making her second guess the presumably good qualities she thought she possesed, making her not feel wanted by me, and making her do more to please me.

I don't love women, I only become obsessed with them. Obsessed to the point that I'm constantly tortured by thoughts of them being sexual with another guy especially when it's someone she has dated before. I want her all to myself and even if she had sex with someone before I met her or before we became close, I am filled with anger and jealousy whenever the thought crosses my mind, and I want to punish her for that. It's like I want to erase her past and replace it with me. I want to be all she's ever had. I don't want anyone else in her life and I don't want anyone else in her past.

All this must sound crazy to you guys but this is my reality and it's eating me up. I need advice.

Am hearing this from a human being for the first time

For the fact that you dont have feelings for both the living and the dead makes you a dangerous species to be with

Seek the face of God first

Then you will gradually appreciate what he created

It a disorder you have bro.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a long-term pattern of exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of empathy toward other people.

Just like Judas, some people are destined to be destroyed by their own self sooner or later. You are one of such.

Don’t stress yourself looking for advice.

It’s your destiny.

See an animal physiologist as soon as possible

BusterG:
It a disorder you have bro.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a long-term pattern of exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of empathy toward other people.

Just like Judas, some people are destined to be destroyed by their own self sooner or later. You are one of such.

Don’t stress yourself looking for advice.

It’s your destiny.

you're a fatalist?? Personalities evolve man, you just have to put in a lot of work.

DeckXavier:
you're a fatalist?? Personalities evolve man, you just have to put in a lot of work.

I’m an experienced psychologist bro.

First rule of analyzing mental disorder is to be honest with reality.

I just told him the truth.

OP's case is complicated.

But,

Having come out plain in his post, I guess he's getting better.

BusterG:


I’m an experienced psychologist bro.

I just told him the truth.

So should he be held accountable for his actions then??. Remember he was born this way and probably acting out a script impulsively.

DeckXavier:

So should he be held accountable for his actions then??. Remember he was born this way and probably acting out a script impulsively.

.

If he commits a crime, yes he will be held accountable.

However the topic of discuss here is his “self destructive nature” which is just like a virus.

BusterG:
.

If he commits a crime, yes he will be held accountable.

However the topic of discuss here is his “self destructive nature” which is just like a virus.

to 'commit' a crime posits a catalyst for change since he has the freewill to carry out an action or not. So for you to say he can't change is totally wrong unless you accept the fact that people get punished for crimes they have no will to change/avert, and that would be totally unfair since morality serves no purpose. For the fact that morality exists necessitates the ability to choose, that's only when a human can be held accountable, and as such change is possible.. Everything is in flux braaaaaah!! ......