₦airaland Forum

It is true that money is the root of all evil in marriage especially when the table turns to favour the woman. Ops I commend you for your patience up to the point of restraining yourself physically. Thank goodness that the table has turned in your favour. God bless your new life

Yustash001:
Why is that when some women suddenly become richer than their husband...
They start to develop wings..

Same reason some men treat their wives like trash because he feeds her and provides for her

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQ7FpYDQLOI

LuQuLuQu:
Stop quoting me cos the guy has modified what he wrote there before it hit FP.

If you don't want to be quoted, then don't make a post. This is a public forum.

Ybaby:
He will always have. Not by might but grace of God.

If he lost everything today he will back up with 3 months I know my man. He is a fighter, a visionary, a true king, a man of faith, AKIN!

Hmmm...don't tempt the devil with your boastings. There is no man on earth that cannot be floored outside the banner of God. The richest man who ever lived in the history of the world was Mansa Musa. Read how he ended.

I am serious about this. Donot tempt the devil. Just appreciate God for all you experience now. Peace.

PrimadonnaO:
Bring out the scripture let’s see.

Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Ybaby:
You are the one that came for me now o.... when I start dragging your mother like used I pass my neighbour gen now you will be shouting I will hunt you down like a mini crayfish

Na you start o

Be warned

So you can't face me without insulting my mum?

So much for a Fidel/Believer.

tunmiluabi:
My story is quite long, please run through with patience.

I married my wife about 11 years ago. By the way I am 46 years old. Before I married my wife, I was not doing well neither was my wife. She was working with a multinational company, earning an equivalent of N40,000. I had a small graphic design business after trying many times to find a good job. I looked for jobs and contracts without any respite. But At this this time, my wife's support was good and I did appreciate every bit of it. At lest we survived on the low...

As time went on, I got a job in one international corporate training company as a Statistics and Business Analysis Instructor, was earning about 90,000 naira. During the times before I got my job, we had accumulated debt and my new job provided us an opportunity to pay them up.

We decided we were going to save part of her salary every month for servicing the debt and save the rest for a rainy day. I was supposed to pay the rent and all other domestic bills, light, kids school fees etc.. Some time she helped with food/groceries. After sometime, she advised we move to a bigger apartment. We still had a daughter by then. I obliged and we did.

To cut the story short, after four years of working, the company folded up because of government policies and we were all laid off. This meant we had to prepare for the hard life ahead. It was hectic and devastating. Me being me, I took it with all sense of grace and hope things will be fine. But the more I thought about this the worse things got. One day out of curiosity I asked my wife if it would be nice to have another child and she advised it was not the best time. I understood and agreed. I then advised my wife if we could start a business and with some savings we had, maybe I could use it to enhance my former business, maybe things might be better this time. She did not show any interest. This time I discovered changes in my wife.

One day she asked me if she could use part of them money to do a course, honestly I was shocked but asked why she did not oblige to my own request. She said "its my money I can use it for whatever I want". My wife however did the course.

To cut the story short, 3 years down the line, my wife stopped having sex with me and this continued for a long time. I became like "shit in her eyes". I lost a bit of confidence though. she would wake me with insults and barrage of dirty words. Because of our child, I agreed to stay a home and try to work online and seek clients and jobs from old client. It was not bad but not promising.

Fortunately for us, my wife got a promotion and her salary was increased to about 170,000. This actually brought out the worst in my wife. Her calmness disappeared and all decorum was buried. We would quarrel everyday and not talk for weeks. She became really mean and controlled everything at home. Please note, she is not a bad woman but can't explain the reasons up till date. I was with no option but to query her sincerity as a wife and that continued for a long time. Our sex life became zero, she would tell me having sex would make her pregnant and was not ready for a second child. Her stories kept on changing and became even worse, rather than coming home she would pass by her mom and be there till late in the night before coming home.

After about 3 years of trying to get something to do, I finally got a place on the island sometime in February 2018, where I would be paid a stipend of 50,000. In addition, I would use my free time to design, print and sell business cards to small companies. The overall income was small but enough for some immediate obligations at home. But to be fair, that was the best I could get since I have not had money in a long time. Unfortunately my wages were not consistent due to challenges the company was facing. But I used the Business card printing to augment wherever possible.

Later in 2018 around September, I discovered that my wife had been having an illicit engagement. She had a male fried and I finally got to know about it and confronted her. She did not deny it, she begged and I forgave her. Anyway, I had made up my mind to forgive because of the kid and I never told anyone till date. Moreover, since we were not making love that was of course enough reason for the drastic measure, I told myself. To be sincere I had lost feeling for my wife and sex was difficult. We finally started having sex but I had little to offer her. I would pretend and even have to watch Indecency to be able to have sex with her. I was dead inside. At least my wife was still with me. That was my solace. I guess trust was broken. She however continued with her escapades. The quarrels increased and got worse. There and then name calling became our breakfast and dinner. She advised that since I would never look at her the same and bringing little or nothing to the table that I was free to go. The quarrels went on for quite some time, my wife will go very violent on me some of the times. I am marshal artist with black belt and I have great restraint - for me, fighting and going violent on her was never on the table. One day I thought there was a need to move out and I did indicated to her that I was not comfortable living with her anymore.. That wherever I am, I will see how I can take care of the kids.

She did not care and things became difficult for me. I felt maybe I could stay for sometime, It might be a difficult condition but still not impossible. This became my Achilles heels. There and then I knew my relationship had broken and irreparable. I accepted there was nothing I could, but to be patient and tried to convince myself about our situations and believed our situation was bad, but God’s willing we would overcome. The fight even got worse and became very violent and physical, I would normally just take the beating or hold her hands to avoid any injuries.

The quarrels was beginning to be in the glare of my Kids and since it was not abating, there was little I could do to change the situation. I finally made up my mind on the 19th of May 2019 to move out, but actually moved out on the 30th of May, 2019. Before then on the 26th of May, 2019, I discovered my wife was again engaging in the illicit affair. She would claim she was going to church only to be found at a different location. Honestly I can’t blame her, I blame myself and the situation that caused the demise of our once cherished marriage. At this point in time I realised I had lost and had no fight in me anymore. My kids are still very young. Everyday quarrels, lack of sincere engagement, denials upon denials and her fear of facing her “DEMON” with little chance of her understanding the consequence of her actions - I was left with no choice but to stop FIGHTING. I had no fight left in me. The ultimate decision was to leave. I did not inform her parent about the issue because I had indicated to her I did not want them to look at her differently.

God so good, I got a 500,000 Naira job through a friend in an oil company with a 3bedroon in Lekki fully paid up for 3years by the company. By the way, I am Data Analyst but never practiced for a long time. I studied Computer engineering but for a long time grace did not smile on me. I take care of my kid and I really don't hate her and I am at peace with everything. She still has her job and doing well.

Please note that she did not tell me to leave, I left on my own volition. I could not share the same bed with my wife anymore she apparently could not muster enough strength to stop all iniquities for a conversation that will help see things through. Rather she is turning to blame it on me. We have however resolved to part on a friendly note for the sake of our child.

My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.

Thanks for reading.

Tunmi

l nearly cried over here over your presentation especially balancing your story. l'm beginning to get scaled of marriage.

OP, please, can I call you or chat with you on whatsapp?
Here is my whatsapp number 09052335115
My call number 08060019112

Ybaby:
You are the one that came for me now o.... when I start dragging your mother like used I pass my neighbour gen now you will be shouting I will hunt you down like a mini crayfish

Na you start o

Be warned

So you can't face me without insulting my mum? What has my mum got to do with the posts? Did I drag any of your family member?

So much for a Fidel/Believer.

By their fruits we shall know them.

mhizsuzzy:
Same reason some men treat their wives like trash because he feeds her and provides for her

Beyond that even is the common practice of procreation where the wife is literaly criminalised for her inability to conceive at time or even more ridiculous is her so called failure to birth a male child.

And you see ignorant, dark.hearted men abuse and torture their wives because of this not knowing they are one in body and should be one in faith. Cruel, heartless men that have not the love of God in them.

Ybaby:
Any one that reads this will think I am trying to initiate you into some cult....

They will not believe me when I say all I am saying is that you pay for your kids shelter, food, clothing and school fees

You are now crying all over the thread like baby kingsway

a ma se nkan o

O ya clean your eyes ..... pele.... ma binu .... o ya gba choco milo.... mabinu sho gbo

I will buy you colouring book when I go out. Ok ?

Ah!

Woman you are a gutter and very local woman. Go and find your mate.

Inukwam akuko with this mgbeke that can't read or comprehend.
I wonder whether this one finished secondary school self.

You are such a perfect gentleman, even in your writing, you were sincere enough to admit where the fault emanated. God will see you through.

listowell:
She don hear N500K and Lekki. She said no be for her..happily taken. Married ladies with pregnancy sef dey do olosho.

I was in awe when I saw her comments. She no even know whether the 500k na audio sef...

tunmiluabi:
Thank you...

You are a real man. Not so many men will be that calm in the face of a violent wife.

At least you are happy now. Nothing beats that.

And one more thing, try as much as possible to save a large portion of your salary every month after deduction of all accrued monthly living expenses which I know will mostly come from your children.

Stay off any relationship for the now and embrace your new self.

tunmiluabi:
She will one day tell her parents herself. Her parents have sought for an amicable solution and meetings are being called. I have not doubt in my mind that I have moved on. I still have good relationship with her family because of my child..

@ops, whether meetings are called or not take a firm stand that the relationship is over, I mean what if she turns really violent and stabs you to death or she takes in for another man when you try to live with her?
What you wrote might sound like fiction to many nairalanders, but I know a close friend who had a similar experience.

tunmiluabi:
My story is quite long, please run through with patience.

I married my wife about 11 years ago. By the way I am 46 years old. Before I married my wife, I was not doing well neither was my wife. She was working with a multinational company, earning an equivalent of N40,000. I had a small graphic design business after trying many times to find a good job. I looked for jobs and contracts without any respite. But At this this time, my wife's support was good and I did appreciate every bit of it. At lest we survived on the low...

As time went on, I got a job in one international corporate training company as a Statistics and Business Analysis Instructor, was earning about 90,000 naira. During the times before I got my job, we had accumulated debt and my new job provided us an opportunity to pay them up.

We decided we were going to save part of her salary every month for servicing the debt and save the rest for a rainy day. I was supposed to pay the rent and all other domestic bills, light, kids school fees etc.. Some time she helped with food/groceries. After sometime, she advised we move to a bigger apartment. We still had a daughter by then. I obliged and we did.

To cut the story short, after four years of working, the company folded up because of government policies and we were all laid off. This meant we had to prepare for the hard life ahead. It was hectic and devastating. Me being me, I took it with all sense of grace and hope things will be fine. But the more I thought about this the worse things got. One day out of curiosity I asked my wife if it would be nice to have another child and she advised it was not the best time. I understood and agreed. I then advised my wife if we could start a business and with some savings we had, maybe I could use it to enhance my former business, maybe things might be better this time. She did not show any interest. This time I discovered changes in my wife.

One day she asked me if she could use part of them money to do a course, honestly I was shocked but asked why she did not oblige to my own request. She said "its my money I can use it for whatever I want". My wife however did the course.

To cut the story short, 3 years down the line, my wife stopped having sex with me and this continued for a long time. I became like "shit in her eyes". I lost a bit of confidence though. she would wake me with insults and barrage of dirty words. Because of our child, I agreed to stay a home and try to work online and seek clients and jobs from old client. It was not bad but not promising.

Fortunately for us, my wife got a promotion and her salary was increased to about 170,000. This actually brought out the worst in my wife. Her calmness disappeared and all decorum was buried. We would quarrel everyday and not talk for weeks. She became really mean and controlled everything at home. Please note, she is not a bad woman but can't explain the reasons up till date. I was with no option but to query her sincerity as a wife and that continued for a long time. Our sex life became zero, she would tell me having sex would make her pregnant and was not ready for a second child. Her stories kept on changing and became even worse, rather than coming home she would pass by her mom and be there till late in the night before coming home.

After about 3 years of trying to get something to do, I finally got a place on the island sometime in February 2018, where I would be paid a stipend of 50,000. In addition, I would use my free time to design, print and sell business cards to small companies. The overall income was small but enough for some immediate obligations at home. But to be fair, that was the best I could get since I have not had money in a long time. Unfortunately my wages were not consistent due to challenges the company was facing. But I used the Business card printing to augment wherever possible.

Later in 2018 around September, I discovered that my wife had been having an illicit engagement. She had a male fried and I finally got to know about it and confronted her. She did not deny it, she begged and I forgave her. Anyway, I had made up my mind to forgive because of the kid and I never told anyone till date. Moreover, since we were not making love that was of course enough reason for the drastic measure, I told myself. To be sincere I had lost feeling for my wife and sex was difficult. We finally started having sex but I had little to offer her. I would pretend and even have to watch Indecency to be able to have sex with her. I was dead inside. At least my wife was still with me. That was my solace. I guess trust was broken. She however continued with her escapades. The quarrels increased and got worse. There and then name calling became our breakfast and dinner. She advised that since I would never look at her the same and bringing little or nothing to the table that I was free to go. The quarrels went on for quite some time, my wife will go very violent on me some of the times. I am marshal artist with black belt and I have great restraint - for me, fighting and going violent on her was never on the table. One day I thought there was a need to move out and I did indicated to her that I was not comfortable living with her anymore.. That wherever I am, I will see how I can take care of the kids.

She did not care and things became difficult for me. I felt maybe I could stay for sometime, It might be a difficult condition but still not impossible. This became my Achilles heels. There and then I knew my relationship had broken and irreparable. I accepted there was nothing I could, but to be patient and tried to convince myself about our situations and believed our situation was bad, but God’s willing we would overcome. The fight even got worse and became very violent and physical, I would normally just take the beating or hold her hands to avoid any injuries.

The quarrels was beginning to be in the glare of my Kids and since it was not abating, there was little I could do to change the situation. I finally made up my mind on the 19th of May 2019 to move out, but actually moved out on the 30th of May, 2019. Before then on the 26th of May, 2019, I discovered my wife was again engaging in the illicit affair. She would claim she was going to church only to be found at a different location. Honestly I can’t blame her, I blame myself and the situation that caused the demise of our once cherished marriage. At this point in time I realised I had lost and had no fight in me anymore. My kids are still very young. Everyday quarrels, lack of sincere engagement, denials upon denials and her fear of facing her “DEMON” with little chance of her understanding the consequence of her actions - I was left with no choice but to stop FIGHTING. I had no fight left in me. The ultimate decision was to leave. I did not inform her parent about the issue because I had indicated to her I did not want them to look at her differently.

God so good, I got a 500,000 Naira job through a friend in an oil company with a 3bedroon in Lekki fully paid up for 3years by the company. By the way, I am Data Analyst but never practiced for a long time. I studied Computer engineering but for a long time grace did not smile on me. I take care of my kid and I really don't hate her and I am at peace with everything. She still has her job and doing well.

Please note that she did not tell me to leave, I left on my own volition. I could not share the same bed with my wife anymore she apparently could not muster enough strength to stop all iniquities for a conversation that will help see things through. Rather she is turning to blame it on me. We have however resolved to part on a friendly note for the sake of our child.

My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.

Thanks for reading.

Tunmi

relationship is from marriage in relationship a ladies can cater for the needs in a long time not in marriage, what cause it is the moment she was the bread winner a Ur family she wanted some dominate, that y no matter what pls be financially stable then Ur wife to avoid insult . This is Nigeria, money dictate every thing and marriage is not excluded .
If u think I am saying rubbish take a private study in a marriage were the wife is far financially stable then the husband that marriage also faces issue. In one were the husband is more financially stable then the wife the little bit stable . So intending husband take this advice

djon78:
His wife was way above him in class. She was from an influential family in Nnewi, I know her family very well.
They never belonged to same class.
Cos was serious nwa ogbenye. Poor of the poor. Wretched.

So her people never wanted him. In fact he was chased away when he went to ask for her hand in marriage.
The woman accepted him despite all this. That's why they are very close.
He doesn't play with her.

They started from nothing.
Your ideology is a very dark and evil one.
I wonder the igbo man that will marry such a woman like you.
Our women don't behave like this.
We train them properly. Maybe na audio igbo man that is marrying you, in your dreams.
.
I don't even look at a woman's money
A woman can't even feed me
When my dad in his seventies can still doll out better cash to his children talk less of taking excellent care of his wife. Na me no go spoil my woman?
Even my sisters are married to men taking excellent care of them, but they have there own money too and sometimes support there family.

They were going on summer vacation with children. My sister told her husband to fashy that she will buy there flight ticket for every member of the family.
Her oga was shocked and surprised.

Woman I have been reading your comments and you are dark, evil, a gold digger extraordinary.
In fact all you claimed here are audio to me. And you got no class by the kind of reply you have been giving here.

My brothers, na you get time reply that woman

djon78:
Woman you are a gutter and very local woman. Go and find your mate.

Inukwam akuko with this mgbeke that can't read or comprehend.
I wonder whether this one finished secondary school self.

Infidel

Obingene:
You people and money, are you people totally useless without money? Because I am not and never been.

Come on, there is more to life now. I studied Economics and many a times, I have broken this thing called money. It's a reward for value, it's also a means to an end and there are so many factors that determine its availability or scarcity.

I'm tired hearing about money issues everytime. Haba! It's that why you came to earth? To make money and just leave?

Listen everyone, if money is the main resource you have to offer people, then you are just like a candle in d wind, you will be blown out soon and forgotten.

Finally, if anyone disrespects you because of money, walk away from that person.

The circular flow of income shows that money can never be at a place at a particular time, more so, now we have leaders to hoard and keep wealth meant for everyone to themselves.

I conclude with this, if as a guy or a lady, you know you would disrespect your spouse in eventuality that they become broke, please don't marry, or better still, leave the relationship.

Leave and find your pot of gold.

Boldly Seconded!

The story has renewed my hope because I had a similar experience. Even though am yet to get a good job,but I trust in God to help me out.

TonyeBarcanista:
My brothers, na you get time reply that woman

Bro I just had to reply her.
That woman absolutely has no class from all the crap she has been giving out.
She might even be a market half baked local woman.

Tufia

Emaprince:
The problem is women fall for this kind guys too much. Benin guys are too good in this. Sweet mouth, very romantic. Ttheyy wouldn't mind you sleep with richer men as far as they are getting their cut Fromm you.

You women are usually acting dumb in the face of this type of guys, even when the red flags is glaring. He might come back with cheap excuses and sweet. Words and you will still take him back. Are you no longer a woman?

i have changed sex oh make him try come back i go kill am nonsense. Haba u want to kill me ne

UjuJoan2:
I agree . . . I will never respect any man I have to feed. I just won't be able to.

I imagine it may look unfair as that would mean men have no room for failure, or they will never find love. But that's just the reality.

Being the superior gender is not an easy feat!

u said it all u won't respect a man u feed
Pls tell me y

The Lord has vindicate in all ramifications, just take good care of your kids.

djon78:
Bro I just had to reply her.
That woman absolutely has no class from all the crap she has been giving out.
She might even be a market half baked local woman.

Tufia

Market women are people with dignity irrespective of the wares they sell!

OP is the typical Nigerian hungry slayqueen littering social media. From her narrative, you will know that she is one woman that doesn't know the value of money because she probably doesn't legitimately earn. Such people always claim what they are not and hold the ideology that a man's worth is tied to what he has. If he is rich, he deserves respect but if otherwise, he deserves the most undignified treatment.

Meanwhile, they themselves have nothing

Mariangeles:
What a story!

Through difficult times, that is when couples need to be closer more than ever.

A FAMILY THAT PRAYS TOGETHER, STAYS TOGETHER!
If only you had asked God for peace in your home...

Oga many women are prayer warriors but they will still push bible principles aside whenever issues arises. In reality many of us Christians today don't apply biblical principles and virtues in our personal lives.

justuschi50:
relationship is from marriage in relationship a ladies can cater for the needs in a long time not in marriage, what cause it is the moment she was the bread winner a Ur family she wanted some dominate, that y no matter what pls be financially stable then Ur wife to avoid insult . This is Nigeria, money dictate every thing and marriage is not excluded .
If u think I am saying rubbish take a private study in a marriage were the wife is far financially stable then the husband that marriage also faces issue. In one were the husband is more financially stable then the wife the little bit stable . So intending husband take this advice

So women benefit from unstable marriages. The men should walk away, joor. How come women still accuse guys of not wanting them to have money? Now you have said the reason eh.

TonyeBarcanista:
Market women are people with dignity irrespective of the wares they sell!

OP is the typical Nigerian hungry slayqueen littering social media. From her narrative, you will know that she is one woman that doesn't know the value of money because she probably doesn't legitimately earn. Such people always claim what they are not and hold the ideology that a man's worth is tied to what he has. If he is rich, he deserves respect but if otherwise, he deserves the most undignified treatment.

Meanwhile, they themselves have nothing

You hit it spot on. Thanks

tunmiluabi:
My story is quite long, please run through with patience.

I married my wife about 11 years ago. By the way I am 46 years old. Before I married my wife, I was not doing well neither was my wife. She was working with a multinational company, earning an equivalent of N40,000. I had a small graphic design business after trying many times to find a good job. I looked for jobs and contracts without any respite. But At this this time, my wife's support was good and I did appreciate every bit of it. At lest we survived on the low...

As time went on, I got a job in one international corporate training company as a Statistics and Business Analysis Instructor, was earning about 90,000 naira. During the times before I got my job, we had accumulated debt and my new job provided us an opportunity to pay them up.

We decided we were going to save part of her salary every month for servicing the debt and save the rest for a rainy day. I was supposed to pay the rent and all other domestic bills, light, kids school fees etc.. Some time she helped with food/groceries. After sometime, she advised we move to a bigger apartment. We still had a daughter by then. I obliged and we did.

To cut the story short, after four years of working, the company folded up because of government policies and we were all laid off. This meant we had to prepare for the hard life ahead. It was hectic and devastating. Me being me, I took it with all sense of grace and hope things will be fine. But the more I thought about this the worse things got. One day out of curiosity I asked my wife if it would be nice to have another child and she advised it was not the best time. I understood and agreed. I then advised my wife if we could start a business and with some savings we had, maybe I could use it to enhance my former business, maybe things might be better this time. She did not show any interest. This time I discovered changes in my wife.

One day she asked me if she could use part of them money to do a course, honestly I was shocked but asked why she did not oblige to my own request. She said "its my money I can use it for whatever I want". My wife however did the course.

To cut the story short, 3 years down the line, my wife stopped having sex with me and this continued for a long time. I became like "shit in her eyes". I lost a bit of confidence though. she would wake me with insults and barrage of dirty words. Because of our child, I agreed to stay a home and try to work online and seek clients and jobs from old client. It was not bad but not promising.

Fortunately for us, my wife got a promotion and her salary was increased to about 170,000. This actually brought out the worst in my wife. Her calmness disappeared and all decorum was buried. We would quarrel everyday and not talk for weeks. She became really mean and controlled everything at home. Please note, she is not a bad woman but can't explain the reasons up till date. I was with no option but to query her sincerity as a wife and that continued for a long time. Our sex life became zero, she would tell me having sex would make her pregnant and was not ready for a second child. Her stories kept on changing and became even worse, rather than coming home she would pass by her mom and be there till late in the night before coming home.

After about 3 years of trying to get something to do, I finally got a place on the island sometime in February 2018, where I would be paid a stipend of 50,000. In addition, I would use my free time to design, print and sell business cards to small companies. The overall income was small but enough for some immediate obligations at home. But to be fair, that was the best I could get since I have not had money in a long time. Unfortunately my wages were not consistent due to challenges the company was facing. But I used the Business card printing to augment wherever possible.

Later in 2018 around September, I discovered that my wife had been having an illicit engagement. She had a male fried and I finally got to know about it and confronted her. She did not deny it, she begged and I forgave her. Anyway, I had made up my mind to forgive because of the kid and I never told anyone till date. Moreover, since we were not making love that was of course enough reason for the drastic measure, I told myself. To be sincere I had lost feeling for my wife and sex was difficult. We finally started having sex but I had little to offer her. I would pretend and even have to watch Indecency to be able to have sex with her. I was dead inside. At least my wife was still with me. That was my solace. I guess trust was broken. She however continued with her escapades. The quarrels increased and got worse. There and then name calling became our breakfast and dinner. She advised that since I would never look at her the same and bringing little or nothing to the table that I was free to go. The quarrels went on for quite some time, my wife will go very violent on me some of the times. I am marshal artist with black belt and I have great restraint - for me, fighting and going violent on her was never on the table. One day I thought there was a need to move out and I did indicated to her that I was not comfortable living with her anymore.. That wherever I am, I will see how I can take care of the kids.

She did not care and things became difficult for me. I felt maybe I could stay for sometime, It might be a difficult condition but still not impossible. This became my Achilles heels. There and then I knew my relationship had broken and irreparable. I accepted there was nothing I could, but to be patient and tried to convince myself about our situations and believed our situation was bad, but God’s willing we would overcome. The fight even got worse and became very violent and physical, I would normally just take the beating or hold her hands to avoid any injuries.

The quarrels was beginning to be in the glare of my Kids and since it was not abating, there was little I could do to change the situation. I finally made up my mind on the 19th of May 2019 to move out, but actually moved out on the 30th of May, 2019. Before then on the 26th of May, 2019, I discovered my wife was again engaging in the illicit affair. She would claim she was going to church only to be found at a different location. Honestly I can’t blame her, I blame myself and the situation that caused the demise of our once cherished marriage. At this point in time I realised I had lost and had no fight in me anymore. My kids are still very young. Everyday quarrels, lack of sincere engagement, denials upon denials and her fear of facing her “DEMON” with little chance of her understanding the consequence of her actions - I was left with no choice but to stop FIGHTING. I had no fight left in me. The ultimate decision was to leave. I did not inform her parent about the issue because I had indicated to her I did not want them to look at her differently.

God so good, I got a 500,000 Naira job through a friend in an oil company with a 3bedroon in Lekki fully paid up for 3years by the company. By the way, I am Data Analyst but never practiced for a long time. I studied Computer engineering but for a long time grace did not smile on me. I take care of my kid and I really don't hate her and I am at peace with everything. She still has her job and doing well.

Please note that she did not tell me to leave, I left on my own volition. I could not share the same bed with my wife anymore she apparently could not muster enough strength to stop all iniquities for a conversation that will help see things through. Rather she is turning to blame it on me. We have however resolved to part on a friendly note for the sake of our child.

My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.

Thanks for reading.

Tunmi

life is a Bitch. Marriage is a crazy institution. The only virtue a man should seek in a woman is genuine fear of 'God'. Every other thing is trash.

[quote author=listowell post=89555420]So women benefit from unstable marriages. The men should walk away, joor. How come women still accuse guys of not wanting them to have money? Now you have said the reason eh.[/quote I am not saying women should not have money in marriage I am saying marriages whereby the woman is the whole bread winner result to something else more often