Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,150,852 members, 7,810,280 topics. Date: Saturday, 27 April 2024 at 04:48 AM

I Was A Husband: My Experience - Family (36) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Was A Husband: My Experience (133145 Views)

My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? / How Do I Handle A Husband Who Wants To Have Sex Almost Everyday? / Wife To Husband: ‘my Pregnancy Isn’t Yours’ (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) ... (33) (34) (35) (36) (37) (38) (39) ... (43) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Mariangeles(f): 10:11pm On May 14, 2020
demarc001:


Oga many women are prayer warriors but they will still push bible principles aside whenever issues arises. In reality many of us Christians today don't apply biblical principles and virtues in our personal lives.

You leave praying to the women alone too? OK.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by PrimadonnaO(f): 10:12pm On May 14, 2020
GlorifiedTunde:


Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.




I Cor 7:10-11 “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.”


Rom 7:1-3 Or do you not know, brethren (for I speak to those who know the law), that the law has dominion over a man as long as he lives? For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.”


Truthfully, I’m personally seeking clarification on this, too, because ignorance is not an excuse in the sight of God. But that’s what the Bible says...

2 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nobody: 10:13pm On May 14, 2020
TonyeBarcanista:

I was in awe when I saw her comments. She no even know whether the 500k na audio sef...
That's what they wanna hear, so guys claim levels.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nobody: 10:15pm On May 14, 2020
PrimadonnaO:



I Cor 7:10-11 “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.”


Rom 7:1-3 Or do you not know, brethren (for I speak to those who know the law), that the law has dominion over a man as long as he lives? For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.”
Cc walspring

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nobody: 10:16pm On May 14, 2020
Mariangeles:


You leave praying to the women alone too? OK.
Praying no dey work so long as you cannot be tamed. Use your conscience!
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Ishilove: 10:16pm On May 14, 2020
36 pages?? shocked
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nobody: 10:18pm On May 14, 2020
I have heard the word "infidel" since yesterday more than I have heard since my lifetime.

It's strange because the only person I know that uses that word is d terrorist Shekau, could it be, that mad woman is married to Shekau? grin

She has been shouting Infidel since yesterday like a nursery rhyme, empty vessel!!

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by raufgaga(m): 10:26pm On May 14, 2020
I no marry again...baby mamas wanted urgently!!.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nobody: 10:29pm On May 14, 2020
raufgaga:
I no marry again...baby mamas wanted urgently!!.
Better.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nobody: 10:38pm On May 14, 2020
CAPSLOCKED:


THAT'S JUST THE FACT. YOU'RE HUNDRED PERCENT ON POINT.
THIS IS WHY I TELL MEN TO NEVER BE WITH A WOMAN THAT EARNS MORE THAN THEM. INFACT, LEAVE THE MARRIAGE ONCE YOUR JOB IS SHAKY. DON'T EVEN WAIT UNTIL YOU LOSE IT BECAUSE HELL FIRE IS BETTER THAN A MARRIAGE WHERE A WOMAN IS PAYING YOUR BILLS.

Bookmarked....Baby mama things for me

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by demarc001: 10:41pm On May 14, 2020
Mariangeles:


You leave praying to the women alone too? OK.

I never said so, bro there areally many women you will pray with and the next minute they will still call you yeye man.

Many of us Christians male and female pray much but ignore the principles/instructions of the Bible where as mus to promises of the Bible come with instructions.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Poorboy: 10:50pm On May 14, 2020
Obingene:
I have heard the word "infidel" since yesterday more than I have heard since my lifetime.

It's strange because the only person I know that uses that word is d terrorist Shekau, could it be, that mad woman is married to Shekau? grin

She has been shouting Infidel since yesterday like a nursery rhyme, empty vessel!!
ybaby

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by GreatnessallIC: 10:57pm On May 14, 2020
Marriage is too hard in real sense
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nobody: 11:00pm On May 14, 2020
Trayceey:
yes. Did she kill someone. What about husbands that commit adultery steady? Don't their wives stick to them?

You can do the same in your marriage.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by star4ever: 11:03pm On May 14, 2020
tunmiluabi:
My story is quite long, please run through with patience.

I married my wife about 11 years ago. By the way I am 46 years old. Before I married my wife, I was not doing well neither was my wife. She was working with a multinational company, earning an equivalent of N40,000. I had a small graphic design business after trying many times to find a good job. I looked for jobs and contracts without any respite. But At this this time, my wife's support was good and I did appreciate every bit of it. At lest we survived on the low...

As time went on, I got a job in one international corporate training company as a Statistics and Business Analysis Instructor, was earning about 90,000 naira. During the times before I got my job, we had accumulated debt and my new job provided us an opportunity to pay them up.

We decided we were going to save part of her salary every month for servicing the debt and save the rest for a rainy day. I was supposed to pay the rent and all other domestic bills, light, kids school fees etc.. Some time she helped with food/groceries. After sometime, she advised we move to a bigger apartment. We still had a daughter by then. I obliged and we did.

To cut the story short, after four years of working, the company folded up because of government policies and we were all laid off. This meant we had to prepare for the hard life ahead. It was hectic and devastating. Me being me, I took it with all sense of grace and hope things will be fine. But the more I thought about this the worse things got. One day out of curiosity I asked my wife if it would be nice to have another child and she advised it was not the best time. I understood and agreed. I then advised my wife if we could start a business and with some savings we had, maybe I could use it to enhance my former business, maybe things might be better this time. She did not show any interest. This time I discovered changes in my wife.

One day she asked me if she could use part of them money to do a course, honestly I was shocked but asked why she did not oblige to my own request. She said "its my money I can use it for whatever I want". My wife however did the course.

To cut the story short, 3 years down the line, my wife stopped having sex with me and this continued for a long time. I became like "shit in her eyes". I lost a bit of confidence though. she would wake me with insults and barrage of dirty words. Because of our child, I agreed to stay a home and try to work online and seek clients and jobs from old client. It was not bad but not promising.

Fortunately for us, my wife got a promotion and her salary was increased to about 170,000. This actually brought out the worst in my wife. Her calmness disappeared and all decorum was buried. We would quarrel everyday and not talk for weeks. She became really mean and controlled everything at home. Please note, she is not a bad woman but can't explain the reasons up till date. I was with no option but to query her sincerity as a wife and that continued for a long time. Our sex life became zero, she would tell me having sex would make her pregnant and was not ready for a second child. Her stories kept on changing and became even worse, rather than coming home she would pass by her mom and be there till late in the night before coming home.

After about 3 years of trying to get something to do, I finally got a place on the island sometime in February 2018, where I would be paid a stipend of 50,000. In addition, I would use my free time to design, print and sell business cards to small companies. The overall income was small but enough for some immediate obligations at home. But to be fair, that was the best I could get since I have not had money in a long time. Unfortunately my wages were not consistent due to challenges the company was facing. But I used the Business card printing to augment wherever possible.

Later in 2018 around September, I discovered that my wife had been having an illicit engagement. She had a male fried and I finally got to know about it and confronted her. She did not deny it, she begged and I forgave her. Anyway, I had made up my mind to forgive because of the kid and I never told anyone till date. Moreover, since we were not making love that was of course enough reason for the drastic measure, I told myself. To be sincere I had lost feeling for my wife and sex was difficult. We finally started having sex but I had little to offer her. I would pretend and even have to watch Indecency to be able to have sex with her. I was dead inside. At least my wife was still with me. That was my solace. I guess trust was broken. She however continued with her escapades. The quarrels increased and got worse. There and then name calling became our breakfast and dinner. She advised that since I would never look at her the same and bringing little or nothing to the table that I was free to go. The quarrels went on for quite some time, my wife will go very violent on me some of the times. I am marshal artist with black belt and I have great restraint - for me, fighting and going violent on her was never on the table. One day I thought there was a need to move out and I did indicated to her that I was not comfortable living with her anymore.. That wherever I am, I will see how I can take care of the kids.

She did not care and things became difficult for me. I felt maybe I could stay for sometime, It might be a difficult condition but still not impossible. This became my Achilles heels. There and then I knew my relationship had broken and irreparable. I accepted there was nothing I could, but to be patient and tried to convince myself about our situations and believed our situation was bad, but God’s willing we would overcome. The fight even got worse and became very violent and physical, I would normally just take the beating or hold her hands to avoid any injuries.

The quarrels was beginning to be in the glare of my Kids and since it was not abating, there was little I could do to change the situation. I finally made up my mind on the 19th of May 2019 to move out, but actually moved out on the 30th of May, 2019. Before then on the 26th of May, 2019, I discovered my wife was again engaging in the illicit affair. She would claim she was going to church only to be found at a different location. Honestly I can’t blame her, I blame myself and the situation that caused the demise of our once cherished marriage. At this point in time I realised I had lost and had no fight in me anymore. My kids are still very young. Everyday quarrels, lack of sincere engagement, denials upon denials and her fear of facing her “DEMON” with little chance of her understanding the consequence of her actions - I was left with no choice but to stop FIGHTING. I had no fight left in me. The ultimate decision was to leave. I did not inform her parent about the issue because I had indicated to her I did not want them to look at her differently.

God so good, I got a 500,000 Naira job through a friend in an oil company with a 3bedroon in Lekki fully paid up for 3years by the company. By the way, I am Data Analyst but never practiced for a long time. I studied Computer engineering but for a long time grace did not smile on me. I take care of my kid and I really don't hate her and I am at peace with everything. She still has her job and doing well.

Please note that she did not tell me to leave, I left on my own volition. I could not share the same bed with my wife anymore she apparently could not muster enough strength to stop all iniquities for a conversation that will help see things through. Rather she is turning to blame it on me. We have however resolved to part on a friendly note for the sake of our child.

My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.

Thanks for reading.

Tunmi



Touchy! But I am glad there was light at the end of the tunnel.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by benardtotti(m): 11:04pm On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:


My bro every man has a 3 months grace to get his shit together.

Life happens and most wives especially in a society like NG prefer to be married at least for appearance sake so for a woman to go from angel to witch ... it takes 3 months.

Now for better for better not worse ..... that statement does not supercede the man being an infidel or worse than an infidel when he cannot provide. They will be together but he will leave by himself when the fury of hell is brought on him.

No one is more resilient than women - she is programmed to carry a child for 9 months - but no matter how.much money she has..... for emphasis I will repeat no matter how much money she has - she is not programmed to shelter, feed or cloth a man least of all her husband.


See the bible said worse than an infidel - meaning he will be treated worse than an infidel.

Teach your sons how to make money. Let the girls go to school and let the boys learn to trade and go to school.

A man is practically useless in a family setting if he is not providing

Ire o

Please stop misquoting the bible , go and read proverbs 31 for balance ,God is not stupid , he is the wisest of beings and understands balance , that's why the same scripture that says " children honor and obey your parents " also says " parents don't provoke your children to anger" the same God who addressed the lazy man in the Epistles also addressed what it means to be virtous for a woman in proverbs 31, read that bible passage slowly and carefully , nowhere did the woman's husband perform any major task , she did everything ,she even went to farm , her hubby was busy sitting at the city gate daily , pls let's be careful how we inteprete scripture, the Bible is called a 2edged sword for a reason , it is a book of balance ,in our local proverbs it is said when you point a finger the other fingers point back at you ,that's exactly the best description of the Bible
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by adorablepepple(f): 11:12pm On May 14, 2020
tunmiluabi:


Thank you ma... Have a great night.
Abi ooo .... awon world people
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by emmyN(m): 11:12pm On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:


19 years married sir to a solid igbo man

Thank you Ybaby. I've read lots of your comments here and I am quite pleased that we still have women that honour the traditional role of family setting. The man the provider, and the woman in the kitchen, living room and other room. This is against the ideology of most women of the 21st century claiming woke and brandishing some horseshit called feminism.

You said you've been married for up to 19 years, and I believe you've inculcated same value in your children. Surely you have a daughter of near marriageable age. 18 years is standard. I am a man of means and well able to take care of my own house (not bragging). If you would be so kind, I would like to have one of your daughter's hand in marriage. She needs not bother about school as her primary responsibility would be to give me peace, companionship, anything intangible. These she must have learned while growing up with you as she doesn't require a formal education to offer them.

I promise to continually fulfill my role as the provider in the family while continually pointing her to her place in the kitchen. You know some of these feminists can easily impress on young girls. I will make sure to uphold the value you've so carefully imbibed in her over the years by seeing to it that she grovels at my feet while I spare her some crumbs from my plate and spit on her face. This lifestyle requires discipline from time to time. I will make sure she gets an equal dose of it whenever she errs.

If this brief account of my competencies intrigues you enough to lend me one of your daughters, please do not hesitate to send me a PM.

Yours kiss

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by calabardick(m): 11:18pm On May 14, 2020
tunmiluabi:
My story is quite long, please run through with patience.

My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.


Welcome to the club bro, you are man indeed, you properly embraced for the impact.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by juniorstar(m): 11:19pm On May 14, 2020
Obingene:
Hian!!
Cold shivers ran down my spines as I read this.
I'm so not enthusiastic about marriage anymore.
As in ehn same here!! what if i loose everything?
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by calabardick(m): 11:19pm On May 14, 2020
benardtotti:


Please stop misquoting the bible , go and read proverbs 31 for balance ,God is not stupid , he is the wisest of beings and understands balance , that's why the same scripture that says " children honor and obey your parents " also says " parents don't provoke your children to anger" the same God who addressed the lazy man in the Epistles also addressed what it means to be virtous for a woman in proverbs 31, read that bible passage slowly and carefully , nowhere did the woman's husband perform any major task , she did everything ,she even went to farm , her hubby was busy sitting at the city gate daily , pls let's be careful how we inteprete scripture, the Bible is called a 2edged sword for a reason , it is a book of balance ,in our local proverbs it is said when you point a finger the other fingers point back at you ,that's exactly the best description of the Bible

I don't even understand what that guy is saying with his misquoted scriptures.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by juniorstar(m): 11:24pm On May 14, 2020
Yustash001:
Why is that when some women suddenly become richer than their husband...
They start to develop wings..
you begin hearing things like i never needed your money!! i can take care of myself. The same money you spent till you got where you are now.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by femi4: 11:28pm On May 14, 2020
Asour:



Your analogy is not consistent.

Water has never killed anyone (drinking I mean).
How many people do you know that have died of drinking water.

Most(1 in every 2,at least) marriages today are barely thriving. That sir is a real cause for concern especially the fact that there's nothing you can do ALONE to guide against this. It takes 2.
You lack depth

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Simbrixton(m): 11:28pm On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:



Check the original post for what worst looks like- these women abhoring infidels are beating them and cheating on them - infidels are suffering in the hands of these pickme ladies.

So if you want the worst to happen then prepare for it.

First learn how to create a topic so you can gist us on how they hit your head on a wall.
ur mates are building their own houses and owning their own banks

3 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Simbrixton(m): 11:37pm On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:


Lazy man !

One will think it is my bill I am asking you to pay o

It is kid and your wife's bills o....

You denounced the bible just so you will not pay the bills of your own family

Ok... weh done
you have a deep mental problem I sure say u be ibo
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Tonitoniton(m): 11:43pm On May 14, 2020
Sorry about that. The truth is, she has been cheating even before u got married. U were next available option that is why she married u. Cheating is her nature. She will still cheat on who ever she continues with. She needed prayers. Her foundation is very bad. By the time she wakes up it will be too late for. Just focus and serve God u will be fine
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by GlorifiedTunde(m): 11:58pm On May 14, 2020
PrimadonnaO:



I Cor 7:10-11 “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.”


Rom 7:1-3 Or do you not know, brethren (for I speak to those who know the law), that the law has dominion over a man as long as he lives? For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.”


Truthfully, I’m personally seeking clarification on this, too, because ignorance is not an excuse in the sight of God. But that’s what the Bible says...

Honestly I get your point. I have had to pick up a Dakes Concordance Bible over this issue some time ago.

That same Corinthians says you can leave an unbelieving spouse if they refuse to repent (provided you both met Christ after wedding)

The message in Luke also is different from that of Mathew.

But Christ was trying to guard against separations and divorces that were uncalled for. Just so that men won't think they can have an easy way out.

I have had to meditate on that Matthew. And it makes it clear that divorce is permitted under the circumstances of infidelity.

The marriageability of the two people was implicitly stated there also;

Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

The divorced doesn't have the luxury of being married. But the divorcer (only on infidelity reasons) can remarry.

May God help us sha
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by akbahbah(m): 12:01am On May 15, 2020
The fact is if your wife is promiscuous, it shuts door against husband at home. When you left her , the door got opened. You took the right decision bro. Try never to return to your vomit. She's now your vomit. There are many of them now in our society and they have thrown their husbands into adversaries.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by razible5384(m): 12:03am On May 15, 2020
Ybaby:


All this infidels tagging me....

Women like dont want broke ass men like you
have really been following your post on this thread... And in quest to being brilliant you end up being so silly, sounding so entitled like you have everything all figured out about life... Or perhaps you own your life an knows what tomorrow hold... I think you really need to be humble an thank God for where you are an the family you got rather than castigating men that life has had a bitter toll on

In life nothing is certain an the mighty do fall

6 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Asour: 12:07am On May 15, 2020
femi4:
You lack depth

You're right. I actually meant to write that clean/portable water wouldn't kill anyone (actually thought I wrote that). good drinking water is also more easily discernable than a potentially bad wife.

Point being that drinking water is a necessity for life. Marrying (while important) isn't.


Thanks.

Cheers.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by JEREMYBENTHAM: 12:10am On May 15, 2020
Man's greatest tragedies are losing a job/livelihohood and being fed by a woman (wife or girl friend). Hell is a better option compared to the above experience.

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by m140(m): 12:11am On May 15, 2020
Obingene:


You people and money, are you people totally useless without money? Because I am not and never been.

Come on, there is more to life now. I studied Economics and many a times, I have broken this thing called money. It's a reward for value, it's also a means to an end and there are so many factors that determine its availability or scarcity.

I'm tired hearing about money issues everytime. Haba! It's that why you came to earth? To make money and just leave?

Listen everyone, if money is the main resource you have to offer people, then you are just like a candle in d wind, you will be blown out soon and forgotten.

Finally, if anyone disrespects you because of money, walk away from that person.

The circular flow of income shows that money can never be at a place at a particular time, more so, now we have leaders to hoard and keep wealth meant for everyone to themselves.

I conclude with this, if as a guy or a lady, you know you would disrespect your spouse in eventuality that they become broke, please don't marry, or better still, leave the relationship.

Leave and find your pot of gold.
Thank you for this, I always say person wey get money no fit get problem later.....

(1) (2) (3) ... (33) (34) (35) (36) (37) (38) (39) ... (43) (Reply)

I Am Forced To Marry My Own Mother, What Do I Do? / My Wife's Sister Is About To Crash My Marriage, Please Help / You Met Your Wife Sister Like This, What Will You Do?

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 99
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.