₦airaland Forum

This is a no no; and come to think of it, you had to drag God into this.Every ill situation someone goes through is not due to the wrong things they or their parents have done. I don't know if its too difficult to understand.

adontcare:
God is not mocked. What a man/ woman sow, that they will reap. Ask ur mum and dad what they did wrong. There must be something evil they had done that is affecting ur 42 yr brother. The bible said, train up a child in d way that he should grow and when he is old he will not depart from it. They where sparing the rod on him and now spoilt

You didn’t mention the substance abuse! I am scared your brother my end up doing the unbelievable to your mom! He really needs help ! I thing depression keeps take to that part ....

star4ever:
Hmmmm. We did exactly these things when he was discharged in 2017 from a govt. rehab center after so much money was spent in the process. We changed his environment completely, got him an apartment and a nice job. You know what? He called us six days into starting the job and said he was quitting and he left the job and travelled and never came back. I am only bitter because, he went back to our family house to stay with my mum. He troubles her for money every day and molests whenever she refuses to give.

HE IS A SPOILT CHILD.. I m dead sure he was given all he asked for whenever and how ever he wanted when he was growing up.. TALK TRUE he wasn't cautioned when he did wrong growing up.Excess free hand started all this.

star4ever:
I have a 42 year old brother who for over 18 years has been on hard drugs. He started this habit while in secondary school and couldn't finish tertiary education for same reason. Efforts made by the family to stop him from substance abuse and rehabilitate him at several occasions failed. Each time such effort is made, he recovers after a while but returns to the habit. Currently, he has become mentally deranged and there seems to be no solution at sight.

He has been admitted to different psychiatric hospitals on two occasions. At both times, he was treated and confirmed fit and sound to return to the society. The moment he was discharged, he quickly went back to his old ways and all the resources spent went into the drain. In one of the occasions, we were strongly advised to engage him as joblessness was one of the greatest problem causing the abuse. We got him engaged by securing a fantastic job which he also left after a week of working there. Other meaningful efforts geared towards engaging him to enable him to become occupied and start earning a living as a man also didn’t work out.

We have organised prayer sessions by powerful men of God, nothing has happened yet. I do want to sound like someone without faith. I strongly believe that our able God will make things beautiful at His time. However, the situation has gone out of control and we need to act fast.

These, amongst many, are some of the interventions already done by the family and we cannot fold our arms and watch people mock us in shame every day due to his abnormal activities in the community.

Now what he does is forcefully, take money from our aged mum, sell any family property at sight in exchange for money to buy his drugs. Beat my mum up at any slightest refusal to give him money. He has been jailed many times for committing several offences related to this habit, yet the problem persists. Maybe we have not applied the best approach?

I am calling on fellow Nairalanders to assist with solutions. I believe there are some of us here who may have experienced this problem in one way or the other, or have an advise to give to solve this lingering painful situation. Your personal or professional experience (s) may go a long way in salvaging this situation for us.

I believe a problem shared is a problem solved.

In response try to Place him on Distance from such environment either to re admit him again.. And try to keep him busy with films that Discourages drug abuse.. It's effect on human.

Ningen:
What??
He beats up your aged mum, his own mother??

DISOWN HIM.
It's time for your “aged” mother to rest!

He's an adult of 42yrs, mentally institutionalized twice and declared “fit” for the society. Gifted a job but only to quit. Doesn't want to earn a living and only into drugs. Una don try, GOD knows.

JUST LOVE YOUR RESPONSE.

star4ever:
Hmmmm. We did exactly these things when he was discharged in 2017 from a govt. rehab center after so much money was spent in the process. We changed his environment completely, got him an apartment and a nice job. You know what? He called us six days into starting the job and said he was quitting and he left the job and travelled and never came back. I am only bitter because, he went back to our family house to stay with my mum. He troubles her for money every day and molests whenever she refuses to give.

by all means possible after rehabilitation. he should be made to understand that the house have been sold. your mum should leave there.

he is taking the place as his comfort zone. and have you made investigation on the supplier they should be arrested and jail.

star4ever:
Will disowning him also give the right to banish him from our family house where he currently lives to terrorise everyone? Our father is late. Can any member of the family stand in the gap of declaring him disowned? What does the law say concerning this?

Pls don't try to get him out of your lives by disowning him. The only way that could work is by inviting the police and you know the way the police is. They once killed my friend who had a mental illness.
Put him in a rehab indefinitely meaning he would
the rest of his life there.
That's the best you can do for your sanity then pray that time heals his brain. Most people recover from mental illness (which can be caused by drug use) with time. God can touch him and he'll become reasonable or nature can work and his brain would heal.

adontcare:
ur opinion though. I think it's u that something is wrong with. No parent bring up a child in a proper way and reap calamities. Do well and read the book of Proverbs. Also read the laws of karma

Politician children stealing money left and right are doing well.

Karma does not exist

razible5384:
I guess,this is the reason we have lots of uniform me that act like animals

well when I visit him to hang out, he does recount what they do in Niger Delta to those stuborn boys and if you hear the funny gist, you wont cal them animals, but monsters

adontcare:
God is not mocked. What a man/ woman sow, that they will reap. Ask ur mum and dad what they did wrong. There must be something evil they had done that is affecting ur 42 yr brother. The bible said, train up a child in d way that he should grow and when he is old he will not depart from it. They where sparing the rod on him and now spoilt

DOPE HEAD SPOUTING INANITIES.

jaxxy:
To help a drug addict u need to think like them and feel what they feel or atleast read or learn about it. It’s not easy to be honest. Drug addiction is like a strong habit raise to the power of 10 because it’s not only about mind control like regular bad habit bt chemical and hormone imbalance in the body system. When they crave for it it’s hard to resist.

That said he need rehabilitation, physical and mind coaching and education on what he’s facing exactly and how to avoid or stop it and even avoid a relapse. Stopping it isn’t so much an issue bt the relapse is the Big problem bt it can be stopped with the right approach sm I’ve listed briefly above. He needs a lot of help.

If he can beat it in his mind, he can beat it physically also. It’s not about job cos once that urge come he will use all his salary to satisfy it. His mind has to be right and strong. The the body can follow. He will now be able to control his actions and urges to the maximum.

Hard drugs isn’t funny at all. I have a frnd struggling with it till date. The relapse is the problem. Smtmes he’s ok and working for a year or more bt once he relapse he deteriorates and looks tattered and sickly. It’s now takes huge effort to get back on.

A military boot camp may help him physically and mentally then maybe he attends regular recovery Therapy classes where similar addicts share their challenges and victories. All this shud be after his treatment at the hospital or rehab.

Wow! This is so sad.

I once know of a friend whose cousin has similar issue.
At some point he rapped a 9yrs old girl and was sent to prison for 6years and was later released.

He returned and continued with drug, beating up his mother, selling family properties, destroying anything he can and at some point he started acting mentally deranged and start bringing rubbish things to the house, he even hardly bath.

They removed their mother from the house cos it was both of them and the help at home.
Before they could realised he has sold all the electronics and any items he can hand carry.
His only brother returned from the city back to their home town in Jos, bath him and wear him a good cloth that they are going for a friends wedding in Calabar and he agreed.

His brother drove him to far end of Ikom in Cross river state and abandoned him there and return.

That was the end of him till date...

star4ever:
He will refuse to see any psychologist... The matter no be small thing..

Exc2000:
well when I visit him to hang out, he does recount what they do in Niger Delta to those stuborn boys and if you hear the funny gist, you wont cal them animals, but monsters

lols... If he is channelling the energy on the right things and the right set of people, I think that is a positive..... Surely an answered prayer

star4ever:
I have a 42 year old brother who for over 18 years has been on hard drugs. He started this habit while in secondary school and couldn't finish tertiary education for same reason. Efforts made by the family to stop him from substance abuse and rehabilitate him at several occasions failed. Each time such effort is made, he recovers after a while but returns to the habit. Currently, he has become mentally deranged and there seems to be no solution at sight.

He has been admitted to different psychiatric hospitals on two occasions. At both times, he was treated and confirmed fit and sound to return to the society. The moment he was discharged, he quickly went back to his old ways and all the resources spent went into the drain. In one of the occasions, we were strongly advised to engage him as joblessness was one of the greatest problem causing the abuse. We got him engaged by securing a fantastic job which he also left after a week of working there. Other meaningful efforts geared towards engaging him to enable him to become occupied and start earning a living as a man also didn’t work out.

We have organised prayer sessions by powerful men of God, nothing has happened yet. I do want to sound like someone without faith. I strongly believe that our able God will make things beautiful at His time. However, the situation has gone out of control and we need to act fast.

These, amongst many, are some of the interventions already done by the family and we cannot fold our arms and watch people mock us in shame every day due to his abnormal activities in the community.

Now what he does is forcefully, take money from our aged mum, sell any family property at sight in exchange for money to buy his drugs. Beat my mum up at any slightest refusal to give him money. He has been jailed many times for committing several offences related to this habit, yet the problem persists. Maybe we have not applied the best approach?

I am calling on fellow Nairalanders to assist with solutions. I believe there are some of us here who may have experienced this problem in one way or the other, or have an advise to give to solve this lingering painful situation. Your personal or professional experience (s) may go a long way in salvaging this situation for us.

I believe a problem shared is a problem solved.

kill him.



In Ijebu when a child becomes a nuisance and a threat to the parents and community that's what people do.


You have tried your very best

kay29000:
Wow! This is so sad.

It’s not pretty at all. It’s not like I’m that close to him bt we are like neighbors turn frnds, he’s from a respectable family and we talk, so I noticed he had lots of frnds in the area surprisingly bt seems cut off from them, tho they respect him for his person. He’s Usually off and on in the area so I don’t even get to see him bt one time he came and stayed for a long while and on an occasion he was looking sick and lean and I thought it was work and he also then claimed he’s been working on a project and he doesn’t sleep at night much cos he needs to get it submitted so I just told him to take it easy.


It’s was only later after a while of not seeing him arrnd he asked if me and explained he was an addict and into hard drugs for years and he’s been having relapses. I was shocked and sad for him. I immediately told him if he wants to get out of it he has to be tough on himself. Very high level of discipline and control is what can’t help him beat the addiction Permanently.

Lock that man up in a room with toilet facilities for him n give him food. When he doesn't see those friends again n d fear of being locked away he il come to his sences or he il run away.

adontcare:
ur opinion though. I think it's u that something is wrong with. No parent bring up a child in a proper way and reap calamities. Do well and read the book of Proverbs. Also read the laws of karma

Something is actually wrong with you. Have your children first; we'll see how you'll raise them up. Some children are bad, not because their parents didn't train them well, but because they left their parents when they had grown up, met bad people and then joined them. Some girls living with their boyfriends in school were actually trained well, but on coming to school, they changed and started misbehaving. During holidays, in their parents' homes, you'll see them behaving well only to change when they get back to school.

WILLuKPquiet:
I tell you when I read that part of "he beats our mum" , I felt same way as you.

The guy needs a jail term.
Being in prison will keep him off the street and it will deprive him of disgracing their family or beating up anybody. He won't even have access to drugs.

If he is not taken care of today he could kill the mum, the OP or anyone else in the future.

A case like DAT happened in Ibadan in the 90s. This insane guy lived at home with other family members. I think he was into drugs too.
One day, he took up an Axe and splitted the head of their mother into two. Killing the mum.
When asked why he did it, he said he has killed no one that its chicken he killed. When he saw the mother he was see a chicken.

Let them ask ppl how to get him jailed for few years. There, his brain will reset. He won't have access to drugs anymore like he has now and he will lose the urge for drug after years of denial.

Truth a times sounds somehow harsh.

WISH I COULD GIVE A THOUSAND LIKES FOR THIS.

Ningen:
What??
He beats up your aged mum, his own mother??

DISOWN HIM.
It's time for your “aged” mother to rest!

He's an adult of 42yrs, mentally institutionalized twice and declared “fit” for the society. Gifted a job but only to quit. Doesn't want to earn a living and only into drugs. Una don try, GOD knows.

my thoughts exactly.Everyone must know when to let go.

Onebyonedead:
When your child starts to slap you

I will remind you

You are so annoying

I hate you

Kill yourself if the hatred doesn't kill you first.

Mstick:
Your God must be a crack head then, why not punish the parents for their do called evil instead of the child that has nothing to do with it?

I am guessing you feel you're well trained right?! If you were you would know this simple rule, if you've nothing nice to say don't say anything.

God bless you for this submission ... I was going to counter him this way also and then read your comment . You’re blessed bro . Instead of him to suggest and proffer possible solutions to the question raised by the poster, he went on displaying his myopia .

irunoko:
so you think they'll just back off because you said that he shouldn't come to the house again? You don't know they're sturborn?How about the violent part and desperation part? Well maybe that might work if you put bouncers or extremely strong security men at the gate of your house

Well the man is hitting his aged mum when she refuse to give him money. That is very wrong and dangerous. He might kill her unintentionally. He stealing the household items to support his addict. and If they can't ban him. Then His mum needs to get out for her own safety if that is possible. They can change the gate lock , get a gateman.

Take him to Mountain of Fire for deliverance! That's what he needs.

WeRblessed:
My friend's brother was an addict for over 25 years. None of psychiatric facilities in California could help him, so someone brought a suggestion that healed him completely. He's now five years clean of substance abuse. He has maintained one job for the past three years, move out of his parents basement and live on his own and pays his own Bills. He now has a serious Nigerian girlfriend. The solution is below!

Arrange with a medical doctor and plan for your brother to come for medical checkup. After the checkup, have them make up the result to show that most of his organs are damaged due to consistent abuse of chemical substances. Have them tell him that he has only three months to live. Have them tell him that there is no treatment at this time, that the only treatment is totally abstaining from drugs if not he will die. Trust me, your brother will change immediately. In fact, he will start sleeping in the church and speaking in tongues.

Drug addiction is not a joke. I am praying for you and your family and I believe that God will use your brother to deliver others hooked on drugs in jesus name Amen.

SOUNDS SENSIBLE TO ME.

star4ever:
Yes, he beats up his mum and those around him particularly when he needs money for his drugs and no one is willing to give.


Honestly, have been through a lot. Now, many relatives and friends have deserted us due to fear of being molested when they visit.

Then mum needs to leave for her own safety. If you cannot ban him from entering the house

Mstick:
Your God must be a crack head then, why not punish the parents for their do called evil instead of the child that has nothing to do with it?

I am guessing you feel you're well trained right?! If you were you would know this simple rule, if you've nothing nice to say don't say anything.

You are the one here writing in ignorance. The Bible says in Exodus 20:5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;


Numbers 14:18 The LORD is longsuffering, and of great mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression, and by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation.

Deuteronomy 5:9 Thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me,

Isaiah 65:7 Your iniquities, and the iniquities of your fathers together, saith the LORD, which have burned incense upon the mountains, and blasphemed me upon the hills: therefore will I measure their former work into their bosom.

To pray against such, use Deuteronomy 24:16 The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, neither shall the children be put to death for the fathers: every man shall be put to death for his own sin.


Ezekiel 18:19-20 Yet say ye, Why? doth not the son bear the iniquity of the father? When the son hath done that which is lawful and right, and hath kept all my statutes, and hath done them, he shall surely live.
The soul that sinneth, it shall die. The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son: the righteousness of the righteous shall be upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon him.

Ejenavi18:
I will recommend Federal Neuropsychiatric hospital Uselu, Benin city or Federal Neuropsychiatric hospital Aro, Abeokuta.
Cc: Star4ever

Op, take him to Kaduna, near Barnawa and let him chill there for a LONG TIME.

grandstar:
The prophet Samuel did what was right in the sight of Jehovah and yet his 2 sons acted treacherously as priests.

You may give your child the best training and he may still lose his way. The biggest problem usually is the period Apostle Paul called the "bloom of youth" when person won enjoy life- party, sex, and so on. Your hormones are on fire.

It is a pity he ended up this way but I am certain it has nothing to do with parental upbringing. They were just unfortunate (Read Eccl 9:11)

YOU ARE THE SORT OF FRIEND A PERSON SHOULD ASK FOR IN TIMES OF SORROW.

only God can redeem him...his probem has gone beyond drugs, spiritual and viage people don join....he needs delliverace from genuine christians not commercial pastors....i thank God for my life in sec school i was introduced to igbo but i quit and kicked the habit after a while i advised my friends to do same but refused and today they are both 80% kolomental both have been in and out of rehab

star4ever:
I have a 42 year old brother who for over 18 years has been on hard drugs. He started this habit while in secondary school and couldn't finish tertiary education for same reason. Efforts made by the family to stop him from substance abuse and rehabilitate him at several occasions failed. Each time such effort is made, he recovers after a while but returns to the habit. Currently, he has become mentally deranged and there seems to be no solution at sight.

He has been admitted to different psychiatric hospitals on two occasions. At both times, he was treated and confirmed fit and sound to return to the society. The moment he was discharged, he quickly went back to his old ways and all the resources spent went into the drain. In one of the occasions, we were strongly advised to engage him as joblessness was one of the greatest problem causing the abuse. We got him engaged by securing a fantastic job which he also left after a week of working there. Other meaningful efforts geared towards engaging him to enable him to become occupied and start earning a living as a man also didn’t work out.

We have organised prayer sessions by powerful men of God, nothing has happened yet. I do want to sound like someone without faith. I strongly believe that our able God will make things beautiful at His time. However, the situation has gone out of control and we need to act fast.

These, amongst many, are some of the interventions already done by the family and we cannot fold our arms and watch people mock us in shame every day due to his abnormal activities in the community.

Now what he does is forcefully, take money from our aged mum, sell any family property at sight in exchange for money to buy his drugs. Beat my mum up at any slightest refusal to give him money. He has been jailed many times for committing several offences related to this habit, yet the problem persists. Maybe we have not applied the best approach?

I am calling on fellow Nairalanders to assist with solutions. I believe there are some of us here who may have experienced this problem in one way or the other, or have an advise to give to solve this lingering painful situation. Your personal or professional experience (s) may go a long way in salvaging this situation for us.

I believe a problem shared is a problem solved.

I am very sorry to say this, if your father is still alive go and ask him questions. He knows something about it. chat me on Whatsapp tru my signature Ire oooooo

there's a way out. I was addicted to something I didn't want to mention for 18yrs. but thank God today I'm free. if I can overcome addiction any one can. let talk