₦airaland Forum

IAmMysterious:
No mind (some of) them (Atheists)...

I know one Atheist too that calls "God!" in exclamation...

I've even once heard him say "Good God!"...

Abeg, what's the definition of Atheism again

Dyt:
That was his imperfection, except that, dude was a great guy, he loved me a great deal but that his anger thing was what I couldn't deal with, he was obsessed, I mean dude even fought men that looked at me, that was how bad it was..

There are so many things that makes one great in a relationship, he loved me with care, was scared to lose me thereby over protection..

One thing that turns me on in my relationship is when my partner trusts and owns me
It makes me fly, dammnit

I just couldn't stand the toxic part, he became abusive, I couldn't say hi to men, I couldn't even talk/chat with men and he couldn't stand me smiling and laughing with others while I frown at him, it makes him feel like he should kill me

bonnyhope:
From all indication, you were cheating

What romancing with other men while you were married

Rickyzagy:
In as much as the man is wrong for beating his wife in front of the kids. The woman still stand on what she vowed for at the alter.

BTW will you marry her if she divorce the husband?

Dyt:
How would you know one is toxic without having a relationship....

Like I don't get it

Ladycewhy:
That again is not correct, no matter the reason bottom line is the victim stays so it doesn't change anything.The ones you want to praise based on race can even stay just because of Coke or booze ,I guess that is the superior mentality you want to buy into, right?

Kaien:
This my next door neighbor, her husband is always beating her even in front of their kids. It has become a norm for her to receive beating two to three times weekly, he beats her and sometimes locks her outside with her two kids.

Most of the beating always happens when she asks him money for food, this her husband is rich always driving around with small girls in his car. When I ask her to leave, she would say no that she doesn't want her marriage to break up. I wonder what she is protecting. The type of abuses I am seeing, domestic violence is a norm, cheating is a norm.

Nigeria marriages are scary.
I am moving to a new apartment, just if my neighbor's husband ends up killing her, I don't want to be interrogated for murder.

Dyt:
Some say for the Mrs tag
Some for the money
Some say for their children
Some say all men are same
Some don't have a reason

I used to judge these people alot till I was involved with a toxic partner, I walked away several times but dude kept coming back until the day I stood my ground it was enough

Yes, I still loved him when I walked away, it wasn't so easy but I had to for my mental health..

Now, not everyone have that courage to, considering the kind of society we came from

Dyt:
You think low
As in opolo e bintin gan ni

Dyt:
He doesn't know, we talked about it, I wanted to help him but dude just says he loves me too much, doesnt wanna lose me blabla and that wasn't enough for me

He becomes a monster at the sight of me laughing with others
He starts hitting me and crying why I am doing this to him
Mehn, I had to run

He pleaded, tried so hard to get me back but I said Na, I am too beautiful to die cos of your anger isdue

He's still trying to get me back, he still thinks I will never find a man that loves me as much as he does

Sadly for him, I think my bf loves me better now even when he's a crackhead

Dyt:
Well
The world is changing
There are still thousands that appreciate the true beauty of a woman even when our gender has made sex really cheap

Phew

emmaodet:
So so so so so cheap oooo my sister and it makes faithfulness very hard to achieve.
I find it very hard to stay faithful with my madam because everywhere i go, sex is sooooooo cheap and available.

BluntTheApostle:
Both men and women endure abuses in marriages?

And the reasons can be many, and specific rather than general.

For example, I was not married but I endured abuses from my girlfriend for 4 years while I was in school. She was excessively jealous, rude, mannerless, narcissistic and sometimes violent. Her violence was not so much that she sometimes hit me, it was that sort of violence that involved breaking up things.

So, why did I not leave?

I did not leave because the me that entered into that relationship had been remodeled to a weakling. Constant nagging and abuses had lowered my self-esteem to the extent that I began to doubt if I could live without my abuser. Of course, that was what the abuser wants. To make you helpless so that they can put themselves over you.

That is why they make sure they drive your friends away, condemn your taste, your choices in life. They will criticize your sense of fashion, your type of friends, until you begin to depend on them to select for you the people whom you should befriend and whom you should not befriend, they make sure you wear only what they like. Anytime you try to object and they sense that they are losing their control over your lives, they would throw tantrums, and if you are a gentleman like I was, you will quickly do what they want. In other words, you have no freedom to decide your own life, to chart your own path. Hearing a "no" from you reminds them of their insecurities.

An abuser will also put you down until your self esteem is zero. They can tell you that you are not beautiful enough or handsome enough for them. They can tell you that thousands of women or men are out there begging them to leave you but because they love you, they have rejected the advances. They can even exaggerate the number of their daily toasters to make you cherish them more because they have made you scared of losing them.

Another thing the abuser does is to guilt trip you. Because the abuser has a low self-esteem, he cannot bring himself to accept his mistakes. He is always looking for someone to put all the blames on.

I gave a woman counseling many years ago. Her husband was cheating on her, and he was doing it to her face. But that was not what baffled me. What baffled me was the way the woman was struggling to take the blames for her husband's lack of class.

She was saying that, "It is my fault. I don't dress sexy for my husband, maybe I have to give him more doggy-style than I give him...bla bla bla."

That is what the abuser wants. As long as you take the blames for the abuser's mistakes, you will never think of leaving them. You will always blame yourself for their own mistakes.

My girlfriend was guilty of everything above. I was forced into doing her assignments for her because she would say, "why are we in a relationship if we can't help each other" then she would remind me of how she helped me when I was in a financial mess. Before you know it, I would be doing her assignments even if I have loads of other important things to do. Another of her line was "my friends always wonder what I saw in you".

That line stopped working when we graduated. With a first class degree in my pocket, the beast still wanted to rubbish my achievement by messing with my head.

It took the grace of God for me to leave. Before that time, I had attempted to leave many times, but somehow, she would find the words to make me sit down back. One of my own major problems was finance anyway. She was the one who had the more cash.

WiLdFLame:
Our women has been so influenced to think the western idea of relationship is good yet they fail to see how the western society has failed , rampant divorce left and right. They say they are happy but it’s all facade of the bitter depth but sadly they propagate this on and on hence the western society is a failed state.

Our women get tempted to recreate the western shit while the westerners envies our society. Who told you your mom who endure her marriage is not happy. Endurance is a virtue

Coolcalmcollect:
so one guy been dey slap with diick and hand before on a regular, you go come come here dey form posh babe... smh una no get levels you even say you still love him lol bolo

bonnyhope:
Some of you think you can eat ur cake and still have it

Men are wiser now, do anyhow, they throw you out

Cheat like you

Larcardii:
so he hit u and u still loved him...na wa oo

BadBradley:
what is your business asking a married woman to leave her home? Useless jobless ape with lots of free time on your hands.

Come to nairaland and be yapping about someone else's marriage. And I know an idiot like you is jobless, unmarried and a potential dumb gigolo

Dyt:
Because I shared my abuse story?

Clearly you need a job...



Your brain still not getting it
Too big for you
I want to be your friend. Just that. How can I get your WhatsApp number


Sometimes you don't choose whom you love
And I don't feel bad ever loving him
I wonder why you having to cry over what I didn't bother about

Yankee101:
The rate of abuse worldwide (including the US) skyrocketed during the lockdowns

Women are still abused worldwide and has got to stop. They are as human as any man

fergie001:
You are wide off off the mark.
Let me come down.......Abuse on women happens everywhere but because of our tradition or culture or whatever we call it we intend to endure almost till death.

Away from us...they simply walk away ...and give themselves "separated' title and still remain friends.

For us here, the word Divorcee/separated is something we have not fully gotten used to.

At the bolded, wrong submission....I told you I don't judge..I am not in a position to say it is right or wrong. I just hope I don't get into the position where I have to make those kind of tough decisions.

Ferraribaby:
Good day boss
Please help your girl

Dyt:
Because I shared my abuse story?

Clearly you need a job...



Your brain still not getting it
Too big for you



Sometimes you don't choose whom you love
And I don't feel bad ever loving him
I wonder why you having to cry over what I didn't bother about

BluntTheApostle:
Both men and women endure abuses in marriages?

And the reasons can be many, and specific rather than general.

For example, I was not married but I endured abuses from my girlfriend for 4 years while I was in school. She was excessively jealous, rude, mannerless, narcissistic and sometimes violent. Her violence was not so much that she sometimes hit me, it was that sort of violence that involved breaking up things.

So, why did I not leave?

I did not leave because the me that entered into that relationship had been remodeled to a weakling. Constant nagging and abuses had lowered my self-esteem to the extent that I began to doubt if I could live without my abuser. Of course, that was what the abuser wants. To make you helpless so that they can put themselves over you.

That is why they make sure they drive your friends away, condemn your taste, your choices in life. They will criticize your sense of fashion, your type of friends, until you begin to depend on them to select for you the people whom you should befriend and whom you should not befriend, they make sure you wear only what they like. Anytime you try to object and they sense that they are losing their control over your lives, they would throw tantrums, and if you are a gentleman like I was, you will quickly do what they want. In other words, you have no freedom to decide your own life, to chart your own path. Hearing a "no" from you reminds them of their insecurities.

An abuser will also put you down until your self esteem is zero. They can tell you that you are not beautiful enough or handsome enough for them. They can tell you that thousands of women or men are out there begging them to leave you but because they love you, they have rejected the advances. They can even exaggerate the number of their daily toasters to make you cherish them more because they have made you scared of losing them.

Another thing the abuser does is to guilt trip you. Because the abuser has a low self-esteem, he cannot bring himself to accept his mistakes. He is always looking for someone to put all the blames on.

I gave a woman counseling many years ago. Her husband was cheating on her, and he was doing it to her face. But that was not what baffled me. What baffled me was the way the woman was struggling to take the blames for her husband's lack of class.

She was saying that, "It is my fault. I don't dress sexy for my husband, maybe I have to give him more doggy-style than I give him...bla bla bla."

That is what the abuser wants. As long as you take the blames for the abuser's mistakes, you will never think of leaving them. You will always blame yourself for their own mistakes.

My girlfriend was guilty of everything above. I was forced into doing her assignments for her because she would say, "why are we in a relationship if we can't help each other" then she would remind me of how she helped me when I was in a financial mess. Before you know it, I would be doing her assignments even if I have loads of other important things to do. Another of her line was "my friends always wonder what I saw in you".

That line stopped working when we graduated. With a first class degree in my pocket, the beast still wanted to rubbish my achievement by messing with my head.

It took the grace of God for me to leave. Before that time, I had attempted to leave many times, but somehow, she would find the words to make me sit down back. One of my own major problems was finance anyway. She was the one who had the more cash.

Kaien:
This my next door neighbor, her husband is always beating her even in front of their kids. It has become a norm for her to receive beating two to three times weekly, he beats her and sometimes locks her outside with her two kids.

Most of the beating always happens when she asks him money for food, this her husband is rich always driving around with small girls in his car. When I ask her to leave, she would say no that she doesn't want her marriage to break up. I wonder what she is protecting. The type of abuses I am seeing, domestic violence is a norm, cheating is a norm.

Nigeria marriages are scary.
I am moving to a new apartment, just if my neighbor's husband ends up killing her, I don't want to be interrogated for murder.

perdollar:
porn addict