₦airaland Forum

boyjo:
mrblessed thomassegun flokii NLPsychologist Snaagg lanreHeda lanreHeda
jaxxy BrownLondon

boyjo:
You get ego but you no get money, hm, be ready.

Ybaby:
been married for 19 years - i have no idea about celibacy or feeding a man in exchange for no sex

abbiboy:
U go take style frustrate persin pikin bcus he no get wrk.

boyjo:
This is for men who understand their roles as men and want to provide for their families.
A lot of comments you read here are from mentalities that have vowed to live off women rather than work hard to provide for their unborn children.

tonapuck:
Are you making a general statement or you're actually talking to me, for your information I'm not a broke man and I refuse to be broke cos I got STANDARD, I will feed you and your generation, your comment shows you're a broke man or a female. Hypocrite, what's love when you can't have the back of your husband without disrespecting him Shm

Very useless thread.

Plead:
You don’t sound like someone who’s truly married.

Plead:
You don’t sound like someone who’s truly married.

boyjo:
This is for men who understand their roles as men and want to provide for their families.
A lot of comments you read here are from mentalities that have vowed to live off women rather than work hard to provide for their unborn children.

boyjo:
Because a man providing for, and feeding his family is the right order of things.
She wasn't created to be a provider but a nurturer. They is what she brings to the table.

She will support you when you are down.
But being down for too long and not making any serious effort to support her while she is supporting you in your down-time is what the OP is trying to address.

bootstrap:
Why? You think it’s the pe**s that calls for the respect? It’s the breadwinner that gets the respect.

Husband is not a gender role, it’s responsibility role. OP, u forgot to add that the jobless man (wife), needs to be reading the role of the wife, as contained in the Bible.... He shld be submissive and the rest....

bootstrap:
Why? You think it’s the pe**s that calls for the respect? It’s the breadwinner that gets the respect.

Husband is not a gender role, it’s responsibility role. OP, u forgot to add that the jobless man (wife), needs to be reading the role of the wife, as contained in the Bible.... He shld be submissive and the rest....

truthsayer009:
I disagree with you, reality is what we should speak of and how to survive when this happens. You are right to say we are in Corona times but the reality is that once the husband loses his job in most homes, it's only a matter of time before the marriage crashes, I know this for sure 110%.

You don't like it accepted, but that is how things are in the real world in Nigeria.

Men are expected to pay the bills. As a house husband, helping around with chores can only salvage the situation for a while while jobless. After some time that would not save you anymore.

From this thread you can clearly see a lot of men have accepted this reality and moved on. It's only women who always try to fight with everything.

sayisayi:
R.U.N....

Exc2000:
this Jarumi people make me laugh, one day you would jam a womb shifter that would bang you till all your defenses weaken and format your mind set with better love and caring, you wont know when you would start spending your money on him and begging him to stay... no matter how many whole chicken they cooked for only you to do the jazz, one Yoruba demon with the right move would scatter all that

Mypeople2:
My guy, she will use you to brush her teeth in the morning.When you were feeding her for 6years ,nobody heard of it .But when she starts feeding you for 6weeks,na community go hear am

Psoul:
No matter how wonderfully good your wife is, once she starts feeding and it got to about 6months and counting, my brother, you're in for some insults irrespective of how you've bn carrying her all the year long.

Well, it's not their fault. They are not wired to feed men, just like men are not wired to sit at home taking care of babies.

The first time a woman fed a man was what brought this suffering to humanity. Adam was feeding Eve all along. The first day Eve fed Adam was the same day God sent them out from the garden of Eden.

DeckXavier:
I swear to god, this life sha. Just pray you don't go broke, I just laugh when people talk about unconditional love. When you make decisions in your home, they'll say you're broke and you've got a huge ego. Only wealthy husbands get to make decisions.

efosky1246:
A man who has truly gone through the process of acquiring wealth doesn't talk like a child. You seem to be rash and illogical, you don't know who is who here. Whether you're Bill Gates or not, if you address everyone with respect and dignity, it doesn't remove anything from your account.

Back to the topic, A change of attitude when the man fails in his role to provide does not necessarily make her a bad woman. It's his responsibility, never hers.


how would you feel if your house is constantly in a mess and your children are unkempt, and would the right course of action be to start playing her role in the house, or make sure she sits up and get her shit together. So it is with the women folk as well, many times when a woman starts playing her husband's role in the house like it's hers without constantly reminding and motivating their men to take the mantle. Those men find it really hard to get back on their feet. Like something spiritual is blocking their path.

When I say young men should hustle, it's not so as to brag, show off or chase women. It should be to create and maintain the life you want for your unborn children.

My wife will not feed me, not under any circumstances.

efosky1246:
A man who has truly gone through the process of acquiring wealth doesn't talk like a child. You seem to be rash and illogical, you don't know who is who here. Whether you're Bill Gates or not, if you address everyone with respect and dignity, it doesn't remove anything from your account.

Back to the topic, A change of attitude when the man fails in his role to provide does not necessarily make her a bad woman. It's his responsibility, never hers.


how would you feel if your house is constantly in a mess and your children are unkempt, and would the right course of action be to start playing her role in the house, or make sure she sits up and get her shit together. So it is with the women folk as well, many times when a woman starts playing her husband's role in the house like it's hers without constantly reminding and motivating their men to take the mantle. Those men find it really hard to get back on their feet. Like something spiritual is blocking their path.

When I say young men should hustle, it's not so as to brag, show off or chase women. It should be to create and maintain the life you want for your unborn children.

My wife will not feed me, not under any circumstances.

tonapuck:
My dad was in that situation for 2years. Her wife never disrespect him for just one second, no change in behavior. Even we children never found out she's the one taking care of all the needs, she did that so we don't look down on our father. Our
dad later told us our mother was the breadwinner for the 2years when things was back to normal for him. We thought he's been providing for our needs from his savings.

They love are respect each other regardless of the challenges. Wife doesn't have to turn her husband to a slave because he lost his job

Why should there be change in behavior if the love they share is pure and true.

flokii:
Nawa o.. all because the woman is the breadwinner.

What of guys that work and do everything for their women and still treat them with respect.

efosky1246:
This woman have come again.

It's not that serious tho. No need to kill the fun.

tonapuck:
My dad was in that situation for 2years. Her wife never disrespect him for just one second, no change in behavior. Even we children never found out she's the one taking care of all the needs, she did that so we don't look down on our father. Our
dad later told us our mother was the breadwinner for the 2years when things was back to normal for him. We thought he's been providing for our needs from his savings.

They love are respect each other regardless of the challenges. Wife doesn't have to turn her husband to a slave because he lost his job

Why should there be change in behavior if the love they share is pure and true.

StubbornGENIUS:
OP you tried very much.I can't believe I read this without skipping a word.But a good wife won't allow her hubby keep those rules.

valentinos22:
I can relate sir. I was very lucky to learn from my parents that there is no such thing as "my money or ur money in marriage" ....so when i got married i was very lucky that the woman i practiced it with also appreciated it; shortly after marriage i found myself between jobs and i never felt any of what op is saying....

boyjo:
Don't be deceived bro.
The first criteria God gave women to pick their man from the lots of men surrounding them is his ability to provide.

She will scrutinize you wella to see if you can provide for her and your unborn kids.
Who go provide for your pikin?

Only a foolish women will marry a man without potentials or money.

She go suffer carry pikin, born all of them, still come slave to provide for them when you dey alive?
Wetin come be your job?

N only for nairaland women no dey marry men for what he can provide

Essenza01:
Jobless husband diaries!!

Here are some guidelines for unemployed husbands with working wives., when you read through with an open mind, you would see it's not she looking down on you, it's just you being smart to be able to have your sanity and getting some advantages while praying for a change.. Hang in there guys, you are not alone, tables turn... you would be fine.

1 - Never discuss your predicament beyond the normal and never show weakness in front of your wife.. "she dont want to see hopelessness"..

2 - buy a lot of noodles, you would be needing it a lot, especially during your strong head periods, you dont win most fights, most fights end with "Oya buy it naa" that's usually when you add the convo to your lost battles ..

3 - your meals majorly come in two options if any
Rice or noodles?
Beans or noodles?
Eba or noodles?

Semo or pounds is too stressful, dont opt to make ... stress was only the surface reason given to you..

4 - sex is usually delayed, when ever you see one just accept and be ready for maybe max two position change, some styles may be banned..

5 - dont come home drunk, I repeat.. dont come home drunk..you remember the pictures of samloco playing "jobless old drunk" in movie scenes... you look exactly like them to her..

6 - some eatable and chewy chewy groceries stops being in the fridge because you are home most-times and eats to chase boredom.. there is always a secret stash in her room for groundnuts, sharp biscuits, cashew nuts, sweets, etc.. she knows you know, take reasonably

7 - you are at your lowest, dont bring friends doing well too close home, otherwise you might get depressed from comparison

8 - in your many many ideas, you know broke guys reason business ideas like Warren buffet , always sieve out the good ones, because telling her some kind stupid stupid ideas would make you look jobless and stupid also.

9 - the best way to dodge Bill's is to watch your words, avoid some topics, you need to be one step or two ahead everytime.. e.g TV shows, movies, food, clubs etc...
- TV shows - dstv bill comes up
- Movies - cinema bill comes up
- Food - restaurant and taking out comes up..

10 - Do house chores, pick mopping... it's easier, you only start when she is done sweeping and dusting, she goes to bath, you zig-zag and get back to watching (how do they do it) ... use water, avoid bubbles on tiles.. you would redo that work even if its next week..

11 - dont leave the sink messy, especially on work days when you are home job hunting and she is out hustling, bro it's an important rule from a man to a man..

12 - with your many insecurities and the devil trying to use you to bring out your alpha Male, pick your fights... yes they would come, but there is an extent to which a broke man fights and argues..

13 - you would owe her cash a lot, she knows deep down that money is not coming back, but be ready to be dragged about it to pay for essentials you cant do without.. she would pay eventually when you have curled away asking God why.. allow her have it, it's one of her high moments.

14 - in your midnight cries, yes "midnight cries" is most times once a week or twice sha, depending on the days activities... dont disturb her sleep...

15 - be transparent, remove password from your phone, laptops etc... if she is being faithful, infidelity is not something you want attached to "cheating jobless old man"... you cant be broke and cheating, they dont work together..

16 - read, read, read... you have to pass her in something, current affairs, global happenings, worlds economy etc... it is an edge when you throw small small insults inside conversations "so you dont know kyari is dead" those are one of your few high moments..

17 - early morning gisting with her while she baths and makes up, makes her happy.. you can lend some money during those hours.. those are your bankable hours, if you want some extra cash, offer to drop her at work, that's if it's not your duty already oo..

18 - at all, at all, try to provide for fuel for generator, darkness and a man being in the house dont usually go together.. you might start having complex..

19 - always use your car weekends, thats if you have not sold hers and she is using yours. When you use your car weekends for functions not personal waka, she chips or outrightly buys fuel that you can manage during the week for your job hunting activities..

20 - look good, work out and have your CV handy. you need to look the role she currently tells people you are doing.." Frank is okay, he is inbetween jobs, but trying out some ideas with friends".. if the friends ask for your CV, always have it handy, delay is dangerous...

21 - dont be gluttonous, eat moderately like a normal human being, if you finish your meals for the week by wednesday, be ready to fall back to your noodles (refer to rule 2) and yes you would come up with different flavours of home made seasonings only you can eat..

22 - try to curtail your mood swings, she is the only one entitled to it, you need to be happy with smiles when she is making conversations..

23 - make business calls or pretend to make business call.. it's important, it gives her hope you are connecting.. "my brother me and you know say na 10k you dey shout like that for"

24 - go grocery shopping with her, you get to use the opportunity to throw drinks into the cart and remove face immediately, if your eyes jam.. you would return that drink ooo..

25 - if she sends you a link from work, read, watch or chat her to discuss with her, otherwise "what are you doing, that you didn't reply my message follows" , what you were doing must have financial gains ooo never use "I was sleeping" as excuse... dont even try it..

26 - dont call her family, send text message if you can.. dont let them remember you ooo..

27 - during your few chances of sex, dont shoot in, "I repeat", dont shoot in... you may find yourself outside by 1am looking for postinol 2
. the stress in looking for the drug would surpass whatever you managed to enjoy.

28 - be ready for "mistakes" of giving you cash in front of people , it's not everytime she remembers to call you to the corner or give you her card.. it's one of those moments you want the ground to swallow you up.. but my brother "dem no dey use shame swallow spit".. it wont last forever.

Let's me rest here first and continue later... but in all, I love my wife... she is that woman that has your back 100%..

The table has turned for me and am back to my responsibilities, it was a tough period, I learnt a lot, from Anger management to laws of power, it's not a fun place to reside in for a long time....

Most especially:
Marry your friend,
marry your partner in crime,
Marry your day1 niga,
your Gee... when you do, no matter the circumstance, you have some level of peace, some room to pickup and some encouragement to guide you through.

Someone7:
They're everywhere. The other day called me 'simpleton' because I said I'm a better man because of my wife. This is a woman who had a very good job, over 450k monthly but she stood by be through the trying and defended me (even fought some people) when they called me 'lazy' until I got a job that pays even more than hers. She respected me then and still respects me now. I will always appreciate her for that

Liposure:
its the economy

Ybaby:
The whole neighbours will hear.... make sure you are the provider