Essenza01:


Every lifetime comes with downtime, the prayer is to have someone reasonable as a wife, at the same time when you still have the energy to get back up.

efosky1246:
But is it that guys don't save at all. Every right thinking man that takes seriously his responsibility to provide should have a decent amount that can take his family through a crisis for at least 6 months saved somewhere.

At least that is more than enough time to get your shit back together.

jaxxy:



Marriage isn’t the office or an office. Don’t get it twisted. Wrong anology.

The office has its rules and so does marriage. Money doesn’t control everything.

Ybaby:


Only said by a man without money. Pick the mop for this thing you said you are mopping the whole nairaland - start from the general section.... off you go get some hypo

Mayeldah:


Difficult wife spotted.

jaxxy:


Lolz. I don’t date people for money and I don’t make frnds for money either bt for value. Money isn’t the only value a person can have.

The value of ur partner is most important in marriage.

jaxxy:


Lolz. I don’t date people for money and I don’t make frnds for money either bt for value. Money isn’t the only value a person can have.

The value of ur partner is most important in marriage.

Ladycewhy:
in those 20 years the man was doing his responsibility there was balance. Everyone was doing their assigned duty. But when the man stops providing ,the balance is distorted and more burden falls on the wife.


A wife has to not only do her duty but also do the man's own as well. The least he can do is not give her a hard time .


In a normal balance all a man does is go to work come back and lift his legs up to watch news but now you can't expect the woman to do all her duty and still feed you ontop while you continue to lift your legs up to watch news. If you can't be the head (which involves providing) then embrace your role as a house husband.

Most men think being house wives is a lazy job,well since you can't provide as a man ,then take up the lazy job of being a house husband ,it's that simple.


Infact these days women work and still do their duties while all the men do is work and come home to lift their legs up,you don't see women complain even though they are subjected to the same work pressure as their husbands,only to be a house husband to atleast ease the stress from madam,you hear these men whining and nagging like babies of how their penis will get smaller when they become house husbands.

NLPsychologist:
This post is only going to make it harder for women to be married.

But why is it that when women 'head' the home things get this messy?

Ladycewhy:
In conclusion, penis nor dey pay bills ,if you ain't got the means to pay the bills ,drop your ego, nobody is dragging your manship with you and being broke is the least time you should be reminding your wife how much of a man you are.


I hate it when men start saying "na because I nor get money again make you dey talk to me anyhow". That is where these men start having issues and run to nairaland to be creating threads,na you nor get shit for yansh na you still dey raise shoulder,mteeeeeeeew.


A broke egotistic man is worse than a rattle snake. Most men don't want to embrace their house husband roles,that's where issues start.

jaxxy:


Lolz. I don’t date people for money and I don’t make frnds for money either bt for value. Money isn’t the only value a person can have.

The value of ur partner is most important in marriage.

Ybaby:


Yimu.... for you to say that it means you are lying. A man with no money will date a woman he is not attracted to if she is rich so he can use her to climb like a ladder and you are one of such men.

Ybaby:


I am still waiting for your value other than money or do you have a womb to carry a child? Do you have breast to feed a child? What is your value in the home where you are not providing - if you lost in a home where you are not paying Bill's do you think they will spend money to find you? Will they cry real tears out of pain or crocodile tears se burden is gone, do you think they will miss you? Will you wife miss you if you are not a provider man and you lost.....

What is your value?
They will eat school fees will be paid, clothes will be bought as usual without your presence - the only difference is your free food she will provide. If she is done having kids she is kicking you out. Be valuable - try and provide and protect. Let your family feel your impact.

Someone7:
Funny but interesting.

Another tip: NEVER be idle and help out with chores. I lost my job and for 3 months I was searching. I never let myself get idle though. I insisted on driving my wife to her office everyday, then spent the rest of the day trying to make contacts to get a job and taking care of house errands before picking her up after work.
My wife respected me for this, and even though those days weren't easy it was a little bearable and I got through.

jaxxy:


Lol u assume alot. I never said man shud not provide for his family. Even the Bible state he’s worse than an infidel. That doesn’t mean he is always on top bt he always does his best. That being said a woman shudnt be lazy or of no value to a man. The value of procreation is both ways to sm extent.

jaxxy:


Lol u assume alot. I never said man shud not provide for his family. Even the Bible state he’s worse than an infidel. That doesn’t mean he is always on top bt he always does his best. That being said a woman shudnt be lazy or of no value to a man. The value of procreation is both ways to sm extent.

Money is just one value, there are many other values for both men and women. Sadly many are myopic and choose to remain so. I have noticed this time and again.

Essenza01:
Jobless husband diaries!!

Here are some guidelines for unemployed husbands with working wives., when you read through with an open mind, you would see it's not she looking down on you, it's just you being smart to be able to have your sanity and getting some advantages while praying for a change.. Hang in there guys, you are not alone, tables turn... you would be fine.

1 - Never discuss your predicament beyond the normal and never show weakness in front of your wife.. "she dont want to see hopelessness"..

2 - buy a lot of noodles, you would be needing it a lot, especially during your strong head periods, you dont win most fights, most fights end with "Oya buy it naa" that's usually when you add the convo to your lost battles ..

3 - your meals majorly come in two options if any
Rice or noodles?
Beans or noodles?
Eba or noodles?

Semo or pounds is too stressful, dont opt to make ... stress was only the surface reason given to you..

4 - sex is usually delayed, when ever you see one just accept and be ready for maybe max two position change, some styles may be banned..

5 - dont come home drunk, I repeat.. dont come home drunk..you remember the pictures of samloco playing "jobless old drunk" in movie scenes... you look exactly like them to her..

6 - some eatable and chewy chewy groceries stops being in the fridge because you are home most-times and eats to chase boredom.. there is always a secret stash in her room for groundnuts, sharp biscuits, cashew nuts, sweets, etc.. she knows you know, take reasonably

7 - you are at your lowest, dont bring friends doing well too close home, otherwise you might get depressed from comparison

8 - in your many many ideas, you know broke guys reason business ideas like Warren buffet , always sieve out the good ones, because telling her some kind stupid stupid ideas would make you look jobless and stupid also.

9 - the best way to dodge Bill's is to watch your words, avoid some topics, you need to be one step or two ahead everytime.. e.g TV shows, movies, food, clubs etc...
- TV shows - dstv bill comes up
- Movies - cinema bill comes up
- Food - restaurant and taking out comes up..

10 - Do house chores, pick mopping... it's easier, you only start when she is done sweeping and dusting, she goes to bath, you zig-zag and get back to watching (how do they do it) ... use water, avoid bubbles on tiles.. you would redo that work even if its next week..

11 - dont leave the sink messy, especially on work days when you are home job hunting and she is out hustling, bro it's an important rule from a man to a man..

12 - with your many insecurities and the devil trying to use you to bring out your alpha Male, pick your fights... yes they would come, but there is an extent to which a broke man fights and argues..

13 - you would owe her cash a lot, she knows deep down that money is not coming back, but be ready to be dragged about it to pay for essentials you cant do without.. she would pay eventually when you have curled away asking God why.. allow her have it, it's one of her high moments.

14 - in your midnight cries, yes "midnight cries" is most times once a week or twice sha, depending on the days activities... dont disturb her sleep...

15 - be transparent, remove password from your phone, laptops etc... if she is being faithful, infidelity is not something you want attached to "cheating jobless old man"... you cant be broke and cheating, they dont work together..

16 - read, read, read... you have to pass her in something, current affairs, global happenings, worlds economy etc... it is an edge when you throw small small insults inside conversations "so you dont know kyari is dead" those are one of your few high moments..

17 - early morning gisting with her while she baths and makes up, makes her happy.. you can lend some money during those hours.. those are your bankable hours, if you want some extra cash, offer to drop her at work, that's if it's not your duty already oo..

18 - at all, at all, try to provide for fuel for generator, darkness and a man being in the house dont usually go together.. you might start having complex..

19 - always use your car weekends, thats if you have not sold hers and she is using yours. When you use your car weekends for functions not personal waka, she chips or outrightly buys fuel that you can manage during the week for your job hunting activities..

20 - look good, work out and have your CV handy. you need to look the role she currently tells people you are doing.." Frank is okay, he is inbetween jobs, but trying out some ideas with friends".. if the friends ask for your CV, always have it handy, delay is dangerous...

21 - dont be gluttonous, eat moderately like a normal human being, if you finish your meals for the week by wednesday, be ready to fall back to your noodles (refer to rule 2) and yes you would come up with different flavours of home made seasonings only you can eat..

22 - try to curtail your mood swings, she is the only one entitled to it, you need to be happy with smiles when she is making conversations..

23 - make business calls or pretend to make business call.. it's important, it gives her hope you are connecting.. "my brother me and you know say na 10k you dey shout like that for"

24 - go grocery shopping with her, you get to use the opportunity to throw drinks into the cart and remove face immediately, if your eyes jam.. you would return that drink ooo..

25 - if she sends you a link from work, read, watch or chat her to discuss with her, otherwise "what are you doing, that you didn't reply my message follows" , what you were doing must have financial gains ooo never use "I was sleeping" as excuse... dont even try it..

26 - dont call her family, send text message if you can.. dont let them remember you ooo..

27 - during your few chances of sex, dont shoot in, "I repeat", dont shoot in... you may find yourself outside by 1am looking for postinol 2
. the stress in looking for the drug would surpass whatever you managed to enjoy.

28 - be ready for "mistakes" of giving you cash in front of people , it's not everytime she remembers to call you to the corner or give you her card.. it's one of those moments you want the ground to swallow you up.. but my brother "dem no dey use shame swallow spit".. it wont last forever.

Let's me rest here first and continue later... but in all, I love my wife... she is that woman that has your back 100%..

The table has turned for me and am back to my responsibilities, it was a tough period, I learnt a lot, from Anger management to laws of power, it's not a fun place to reside in for a long time....

Most especially:
Marry your friend,
marry your partner in crime,
Marry your day1 niga,
your Gee... when you do, no matter the circumstance, you have some level of peace, some room to pickup and some encouragement to guide you through.

Nooil:


Lol, only three months. You've not experienced anything yet.

Ybaby:


Good!

Glad you get it

Show me one lazy woman? Just 1. Go ahead show me 1?

If she is not in the kitchen then she is doing homework, picking kids from school, in da oza room, cleaning etc

So even when a woman is not working outside the home she is still very busy.

Ordinary male mopping the whole NL full and you dare to say woman should not be lazy.

Show me one lazy woman!! When you marry turn your beautiful wife to tipper the muscular babe from stress then let's see the succulent body you lay with at night.

Provide!

jaxxy:


Lol u assume alot. I never said man shud not provide for his family. Even the Bible state he’s worse than an infidel. That doesn’t mean he is always on top bt he always does his best. That being said a woman shudnt be lazy or of no value to a man. The value of procreation is both ways to sm extent.

Money is just one value, there are many other values for both men and women. Sadly many are myopic and choose to remain so. I have noticed this time and again.

AstuteJay:


That is if you have somewhere to go because at this point, friends and family would be avoiding you

Ybaby:


This is not an intelligent thing to say.

A man pees inside a woman and you dare to say the value of procreation is both ways ? How?

She Carrie's that baby for 9months and breastfeeds , she sheds eggs every month .... he carries none of that. He only provides and protects. I am trying not to be rude.

jaxxy:


B4 a man procreates with a woman he works real hard. It’s not a easy job. Smtmes he has to keep trying. It’s work o. Lol

That said ladies carry a bigger burden I understand.

Ybaby:


Specifically tell me man's value in the home aside money?

I want to learn

Ryan03:
where are those babies on nl calling themselves redpillers? The "women are useless" crew? Come and see men talking. I pity the women that will marry you

jaxxy:


Wow

Let me ask u a question to explain this. Have u been in a relationship in which money wasn’t involved??

jaxxy:
Also can a guy be in a relationship without sex?

jaxxy:
If u haven’t attempted such relationships for a good period of time u won’t understand anything I have to explain about other values people can bring.

jaxxy:
Guys who jump into relationships for sex and gals who jump into it for money are same thing. Loveless beings. Business contractors and escort services.

Ybaby:

NOOOOOO NEVER!!! THERE IS NOTHING IN IT FOR ME ...... SO NO. I am a very selfish person - I put me first.



I have not blokos but i will assume maybe - I would not know.




You are in a relationship no sex and you are not providing - come closer! between me and you - do you like men I mean - are you a Bob and sometimes you wanna be risky from behind like a BOBRISKY.



How old are you pls ? I think I am overstepping my bounds let it not be I am chatting with a 13 year old boy.

Good night dear (rubs his head) wisdom comes in the morning.

If you are 13 I am sorry for the mean words I said - life teaches. Ruffles his head. Night night little man

Ybaby:

NOOOOOO NEVER!!! THERE IS NOTHING IN IT FOR ME ...... SO NO. I am a very selfish person - I put me first.



I have not blokos but i will assume maybe - I would not know.
You sound like your dad didn't provide for you guys. The same way my ex reasoned



You are in a relationship no sex and you are not providing - come closer! between me and you - do you like men I mean - are you a Bob and sometimes you wanna be risky from behind like a BOBRISKY.



How old are you pls ? I think I am overstepping my bounds let it not be I am chatting with a 13 year old boy.

Good night dear (rubs his head) wisdom comes in the morning.

If you are 13 I am sorry for the mean words I said - life teaches. Ruffles his head. Night night little man