₦airaland Forum

igbowoman:
I have read up to page 7 and feel sorry for this guy.
All the people saying send her back or trick her to naija sound like immature children,shows you the mentality of the African man where women are seen as pieces of furniture.
I feel for this guy
Even if he decides to divorce which seems to be what he is doing it will cost him.she will most likely get her own lawyer and he will also pay for her lawyer.
Make sure you check through the contract with the lawyers and how they are billing you or you will have a huge bill on your hands.
Most sensible men just allow her take what she demands so they can make it snappy to cut costs and move on.
This is not an easy road but seems to be the only sensible one.
My heart goes out to the innocent children in this mess.I can only imagine the trauma they are going through. God protect them from any damaging long term effects.

bad + toxic women leader spotted!


Read how she is indirectly covering for her fellow bad woman, honestly some women are truly the devil, tufiakwa

Martinez39s:
I was born at night but it wasn't last night. Take your lies and garbage to individuals that are naive about the system over there.

My friend stop spreading ignorance around.
Have you signed agreement or contract with westerners before.
Oyibo has great respect for the rule of law.
It's not like Nigeria you do anyhow.

Many illiterate folks will be spreading ignorance on this forum.
When you call them out, they will result to insult.

eyinjuege:
I wonder o.

People just like beer parlour stories and will propagate it further.

These documents do get lost in real life, and they can always be replaced.



Why should your brother beat up his wife?
Violence is never tolerated abroad for any reason, and I'm sure he knew this.
So why did he do it? He didn't care about the repercussions abi?
Its normal to call the police for any reason. Even neighbors will call the police on you if they hear any noise from your house. Na their work be that.
I find it really annoying when Nigerians travel to another country, know they're immigrants with only residential permit and start misbehaving there. You will just lose all for a stupid reason and lack of self control.
Was the beating worth the consequences at the end of the day?

Woman never frustrate your life

Someone7:
This is sad and annoying at the same time. It's not the first time I'm hearing of young men moving out of the country and immediately start complaining of their wives. The other day a friend called me from the UK saying the only person he values in life now is his baby girl. The only consolation he has coming home from work to his wife is that he will see his baby. I knew her, sweet nice girl, he married her straight out of NYSC. But she has made his life a living hell.
Please o what is in the air that changes our women after they leave this country??

I guess many Nigerian women are born wicked, heartless, selfish, but the Nigerian culture and system keeps them in check from exhibiting their true nature, so once they get opportunity to travel abroad to meet a Nigerian husband abroad, they feel liberated and empowered, hence they unleash their true wicked and selfish nature they had been hiding back in Nigeria.


I think what young Nigerian guys should learn from all these stories is to never try to marry a Nigerian based lady and take her abroad. It's either you marry the ladies you meet in the country you live abroad or if you must marry a Nigerian based lady, let her remain in Nigeria, and if she refuses she can quit the marriage!!

djon78:
[s]My friend stop spreading ignorance around.
Have you signed agreement or contract with westerners before.
Oyibo has great respect for the rule of law.
It's not like Nigeria you do anyhow.

Many illiterate folks will be spreading ignorance on this forum.
When you call them out, they will result to insult.[/s]

I didn't insult you. As I have said, I was born at night not last night. Take your lies and garbage to those ignorant of how things work over there.

You married her in Nigeri under Nigeria constitution and law not the country you are! Expect you have done that over there, asides that she is your baby mama over there.

How can you claim to divorce someone you married in Nigeria legally in a different country with a different law??

Is this another okoto?

Quietly Deceive her to Nigeria under that you want to inspect properties you are buying & she should also be signatory, or look for 1 good Excuse, take your time to plan it. Once una reach 9ja, use brain carry her passport Run comot the house, go back abroad without letting her know. Trust me my Uncle almost lost his marriage When he took his wife to U.K. Baby dey hot, she discover she can remarry $ women have upper hand over there, he used this method, went back to U.K, gathered enough money & today he is back to 9ja with his family. Case close

SamNaijaboy:
The issue here is that indefinitely is not really indefinitely. It is until the end of the legal action instituted if it was issued as part of that legal action.
If not, you will still need a judge to make it long-term and because of the kids, a judge may baulk at doing that without a form of provision for her parental rights.
But try. That would be the first step to keeping your home and custody of the kids. But other assets will be given her instead.

I hear you. Just take all steps necessary to keep her out. You have the upper hand now.... keep it that way.... consider yourself lucky. The system is almost always on the side of the mother. If she has a restraining order... and is not supposed to call... if she calls or texts you.....report her... providing you haven't done the same. Give her the opportunity.... she will get you out of the house... and guess who would have to pay all bills?... and donyounreally think you can stop her from bringing a lover to live in?...at your expense? Situations like this.... Mr Nice and Understanding guy almost always get screwed.... big time.

Nitah1:
Looks like you are the person fuccking op's wife...ahbi you are one of her relative advising her to do all this terrible things over there.?

we are not interested in your story...
why was she beating?

I am not asking you to believe me nor seek your validation. There is two sides to a story and that's why this disclaimer is out there. If you can read just a part and make up your conclusion then fine, other people will look at the two sides before making generalisations.

Have you seen both of them to see who is capable of beating the other. You rather ignored the valid points giving by a woman who has been in constant abuse for over five years for "beating". If only the wife had listened to advice he would have been cooling his bum in the prison but she rather believe in working in the marriage and saving his career. I hope the Op also told you how many times his relatives reached out to the wife to save his career?

Very soon update will be given on him on the blog

Your wife is not here to defend herself and truth be told, your marriage ended in Nigeria.

All the physical and emotional abuse you practiced on your wife has made her vengeful. Probably your people gave her hell while you were away. I can bet you also cheat on her with reckless abandon.

If every female in naija was given the opportunity to leave for obodo oyibo, no single one will want to stay back. Rights of women and children are not joked with. Your wife knows that and played it cool till she got there.

You probably wanted to continue your gra gra till she showed you another side of her.

Your update shows that you have filed for divorce....fine. But you may pay alimony and child support. Both parties will be happy apart. It's a win-win for both of you. But change your ways, otherwise, you will still remarry and end up divorcing, then remaining single...then you will come and join the red pill lonely and angry gang on nairaland. Maybe you are already among them using your other accounts.

Things are better there because there is no tolerance for animalistic behaviour that is seen as normal in the sh1t hole.

Reboot your brain.

LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija

You knew your wife was toxic yet you still married her. hahahahahaha, when i say men are the cause of their own problems, it would sound like i don't know what i am talking about.

koyyes:
Your wife is not here to defend herself and truth be told, your marriage ended in Nigeria.

All the physical and emotional abuse you practiced on your wife has made her vengeful. Probably your people gave her hell while you were away. I can bet you also cheat on her with reckless abandon.

If every female in naija was given the opportunity to leave for obodo oyibo, no single one will want to stay back. Rights of women and children are not joked with. Your wife knows that and played it cool till she got there.

You probably wanted to continue your gra gra till she showed you another side of her.

Your update shows that you have filed for divorce....fine. But you may pay alimony and child support. But parties will be happy apart. It's a win-win for both of you. But change your ways, otherwise, you will still marry and end up divorcing and remains single, then you will come and join the red pill lonely and angry gang on nairaland. Maybe you are already among them using your other accounts.

Things are better there because there is no tolerance for animalistic behaviour that is seen as normal in the sh1t hole.

God bless you for this post. I know the OP very well and he is a liar and manipulative fellow. He will meet his Waterloo soon as he thinks he can lie his way through with the police and justice system but doesn't know what's going to happen soon. This is someone that was taken to human rights commission in Nigeria over abuse of this same lady when it became unbearable and he was made to sign an undertaking. This lady couldn't call the cops because of threats to her life and she wants the best for her two kids. However all is bygone now as he ayed a fast one on her by creating a fight and quickly call the police. I don't want to spill much but if you go through the story below you will be able to have a balance opinion.

So this doctor is here again to tarnish the image of his wife. When will you rest Mr docki. You go from one blog to the other creating fake username to justify what you did to a loving and loyal woman. Why not tell them on this forum how you use to beat your wife black and blue in Nigeria. Why not tell them on this forum how the police has arrested you on various occasion in Nigeria for beating up your wife. Remember to also let people hailing you on this forum know how you have a case with the human rights commission back home over your senseless beatings and abuse. Good thing you moved her to the UK last year. How have you been treating her since she moved to the UK?

You don't allow her to work, the moment she picks a shift with her agency you run away from the house so she can stay with your three kids. Don't forget the first kid isn't hers but she cared for the kids and lied to immigration the kid is hers to bring the boy here. You kept using the boy against her in the UK to disrespect her and lie to the police. You put cameras all over the house because you were expecting her to beat the boy one day so you can file child abuse against her but God pass you.

Kindly tell this forum how your wife has not been able to have just £50 in her name since she moved to England because you don't allow her work. You don't even give her money for food rather keep the food in your own bedroom. Tell people here how you use to seize her mobile phone not to get in touch with her family and friends back home and you did not allow her to keep friends in England. You've broken her phone on two occasions in your Plymouth abode and she kept hanging on to the marriage to make it work.

Kindly explain to this forum how you login into her social media account to chat with her male friends by trying to be her to see if she is dating anyone. You are the same person using her email address opened on your laptop to contact social workers that everything is fine when she reported you. Have you also forgotten all the threats you made to her if she ever end your career here and how you will end her life. You were only lucky to make a first report against her which were all concocted lies and she was giving a retraining order. You can go ahead and get all the restraining order you want in the UK but very soon you will roast.

She kept quiet all these while to save your career as a medical doctor but don't worry as the evidences against you are quite overwhelming. You can keep running for the little time you have but just kiss your career goodbye. This lady don too suffer and it will soon be payback time. Everything you were able to get away with in Nigeria has been unravelled. This is England you know and not naija�

I have 2 similar stories but I will only share one and tell you how it was resolved. First of all, get cameras installed in that house now that she is away for one month. Make sure you capture every evil thing she does so that you can use it in court as evidence and get her deported back to naija without ever being able to re enter.

So this pally took this babe to the abroad. Babe started misbehaving few months in thinking govt will support her.

This guy went to his trybe meeting and somehow his name was mentioned. Someone walked up to him after the meeting and told him that if you are so so and so that you are about to be deported. The thing is that babe had found another guy from the same trybe and wanted to make sure pally was deported so that she could marry the new guy.

He was advised to install hidden cameras which he did. That's what he used in court and she was bundled back to naija for the things she was doing there

tonididdy:
It's not messed up, she isn't doing anything different from "anyone arriving Eldorado" for the first time.
I am pretty sure you were a social media and pics worm during your first months.

Obviously you guys already had issues and you taught distance was the problem, so you brought her closer and issues are still there.
Anything she does now will be tied to your pending issues.
Just let her enjoy settling in... There is massive difference between living in Nigeria and living abroad,
The instant eye opener is so shocking and hard to believe.

I still tell everyone that gives me an ear, you haven't lived life if you have never being outside Nigeria, Africa in short.

Fucking RUBBISH!

Anybody here who think this guy is making these things up is actually ignorant. I have witnessed where a village girl who was brought to the U.S by here husband was threatening her husband , beating him and dared him to touch her! Then she sleeps around and never give sex to her husband.

A lot of Naija women turn a beast when they touch down for western world....I have seen things that shocked me. Even akata women are scared of what married Naija women could do. My own be say losing my life is not a big deal to me. I know the street and NO Naija woman can try that!

LinLinGentle:
I wasn't a devil incarnate back in Naija abeg. I was just a normal young married professional who is not a perfect human being. She is not here to tell her own side of the story but there is a high probability that she has hurt me more overall if we were counting. Someone asked about my happiness earlier, but the truth is that I have never been happy since I married this lady. I have always slept with one eye open since day 1, cos I have never seen any hint of her love, loyalty or respect. It was merely a marriage of convenience and strategic planning. The only thing that have kept me going through the years and caused sentiments that led to bringing her abroad despite her toxic nature back in naija is my children, a decision I am now paying for dearly!

I am strongly looking into taking the red pill if I can successfully navigate this divorce/separation with minimal disruption to my life. I am one of the few guys I know who have never really felt that ''TRUE LOVE'' people talk about. Everyone I have ever dated including the one I married have always turned out to be using me as a part of their hustle.

Lol... its only a fool that believes in true love, the only true love you get is from your mother and God who made you, the rest are conditional and scam!!!

Yeah! I don’t even see myself getting married [quote author=ekerintee post=89880978][/quote]

Dande55:
Isn't that what you needed to know? Bringing your family here so little idiots can call her names like hoe and olosho.
Then, go ahead to bring Nigerian ladies to your mess.
You are in this situation cos of how you treated her back in Nigeria that aids patriarchy system. Over there in abroad, she's reciprocating all you did to her in a bid to get back at you.
You were the one that started all of these, no good man will be treated poorly by her wife. Submission comes naturally when a woman is treated right.

In your next world, learn to treat women with love and respect.

it takes the grace of God to leave above sin,yes sin.Conversely speaking, submitting to a man doesn't guarantee that he will not cheat on you. We do what we do that we ought not to do because of sin/flesh.

etrange:
I wouldn't want a fellow man's career or hustle to be ruined. But the fact is that we are not saints (as the OP also admitted) so we would also like to know how he contributed to the problem. The woman is not here to defend herself and all the OP could say is "I'm not saint". Well, his wife is also not a saint. If he's going to detail all the wife's short comings, he should detail his own too and let us decide who who more 'unsaintly'. I'm not siding the wife (why would I side her?) but this story is totally not objective, not even one bit. This is the kind of story you write when people around you don't agree with your actions so you come online to seek moral support.

@bolded, like I said earlier, even a bad woman wants a rich and successful husband. Like someone said, 'even Jezebel didn't mess with her husband's prosperity'. So why would she come to America with the sole aim of destroying her husband's career? How logical is that? Her actions might be destroying the man's career, no doubt; but like I said, it's not likely that's what she is out to achieve. Something must have triggered her actions but the OP summarised that "something" as "I am not a saint" and then went on to pain his wife in red. Why not tell is how "you are not a saint"? I'm sorry, bro. I'm just not riding with that lack of objectivity.

Education is good for the black girl but so are cultural norms that are peculiar to the African society. Imagine, I was having a conversation with my lady and suddenly she says American treat their women better than Nigerian men...I took a good look at her and my jaw dropped. Well , she knows better now.....how can any right thinking man compare the ever present and hardworking Nigerian man to the sissies they call men in America?

igbowoman:
Obviously you did a lot of damage to this woman in Nigeria going by your own words.

was he foolish by bringing her over. Do you know that many have their spouse here for years & has sworn not to bring them over.

Luckymama:
Look the simple truth is that if you treat your woman like a queen you will be the king of your house. There are so many inconsistencies in your story abeg. With one mouth you admit to doing “gragra”. With the other you claim to have helped her with chores and child care. So in what form was your gragra? You were hitting her abi? Serves you right if so.

Man hating Ndi ifenemenisi, you don't know the full story but you'll just jump to conclusions as per knower of things

Now I'm happy for you.
Like I said before.

She may not go free sh may be the one that will eventually lose all
You see?
This will serve as a lesson to others our there that are bent on destroying people.

No matter what try to have custody of your kids. I wish you success.

God bless you!

Luckymama
post=89558267:
@ OP, a lot of women endure maltreatment from their husbands in Nigeria because they have no choice I.e they are dependent financially and have to take it. That they continue to accept maltreatment doesn’t mean they have no feelings. The macho inconsiderate way a lot of husbands treat their wives kills whatever love the women may have had. A lot of them are just waiting patiently until situation change.

That’s why for example you will find old couples where the wife has abandoned her husband and is permanently living with one of her children. Now when he is old and needs his wife’s company she has no feelings for him and doesn’t need him anymore since her children can now take care of her.

Same situation you are in. You killed your wife’s feelings for you with your behavior in Nigeria and now she feels she doesn’t need you and so it’s payback time.

The only thing you can do is explain to her that in the first place you don’t have your papers yet so she has not yet “arrived.” Secondly, sincerely beg her forgiveness and make efforts to make amends for your behavior. We women are still quite soft. You won her heart once, you can win it again. Set to woo her the way you did before you got married. Hopefully she will forgive and forget and be ready to build a home with you.

And in case it’s a fake story, well men should note that we never forget the maltreatment. We just bide our time. So always treat your woman right.

etrange:
I am a man. I have my pride. I have my ego. I just try to keep them in check and try to be as fair as the imperfections of my human nature would allow.

That means you will be overly blessed then, Pride and ego brings people down more than anything.
My respect goes to you, well done sire.

TheArchangel:
Watch war room, muscle up and dress sexily, sex her like a stallion, always cook nice meals for her and the kids, give her money always, ignore her tantrums and pray without ceasing.
It is your marriage and you should keep it or die keeping it... Lmao


Don't quote me please, that's the bullshits they preach to women when she is going through hell, so I'd think you also need it.

You're a dumb child, shut up when adults are talking dummy, men are talking real life you're talking movie, are you a slowpoke, how stupid are you. OLODO!!
"Dress sexily" see your dirty mouth. Are you mad!!?

IDENNAA:
Anybody here who think this guy is making these things up is actually ignorant. I have witnessed where a village girl who was brought to the U.S by here husband was threatening her husband , beating him and dared him to touch her! Then she sleeps around and never give sex to her husband.

A lot of Naija women turn a beast when they touch down for western world....I have seen things that shocked me. Even akata women are scared of what married Naija women could do. My own be say losing my life is not a big deal to me. I know the street and NO Naija woman can try that!

OP's situation isn't uncommon.

LinLinGentle:
I have tried to convince her to come back to Nigeria before the lockdown, but she said she would never step out of the country until she gets her Pali. She said she has no business in Nigeria and even if her mum dies before she gets her Pali, she would not move an inch.

I have honestly tried almost everything. I have begged for peace, prostrated, cried, moved out, moved back in when I was piling up more debt, called pastor and his wife who have now given up on her case due to her non-compliance with spiritual advice. I have made multiple attempts to sit her down to have a heart to heart, but it's always the same roadblock. She sees me like some piece of shit that doesn't deserve her. I have seen some chats where she was talking to family and friends about how she plans to divorce me and re-marry here once she gains her grounds.

You have seen all of this and you’re still all about making peace.are you insane? Somebody wants to take your life and you’re sitting there preaching peace,this country favors women does not automatically mean that it trashes men.take recordings and videos of her actions,are your children seeing everything that’s happening,report her to the authorities,especially if you know you’re not at fault her green card can be revoked if it’s life threatening or patapata she’ll have to leave the house for you.shes even threatening to leave you and joining dating sites,my brother you everything you need,do you not know what immigration scam is?

LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

Keep winning, don't fall into the temptation of beating her cause that's what she wants.

I'll advise you install hidden cams in your house before she returns.

LinLinGentle:
Divorce has been filed. I got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

u too dull..u too dull.. hahahah.. I'm very very mad at you.... I swear.. make sure that she is deported back to nigeria.. and if eventually that happens, withdraw any financial support for her and her family..now find means to get your kids to live with you...


I really pray you find means to get her back to naija.. if she don reach naija airport, call me, I'll make sure I purnish her on your behalf.


Pls make sure she come back naija.. the way I dey vex now, as if na my matter self...

LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

/
You are a victim of your stvpidity.

Go to Nigeria and marry another one and bring her over. You chose not to learn from the mistake of others.

/

LinLinGentle:
Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

@op even before reading the few paragraphs i have already knew where this is going! your wife doesn't love you anymore, she was just pretending so that after getting to obodo oyinbo she will do what's in her mind wish she just did! she wanted to play the victim and thanks to your self restraint it back fired!! your wife's problem is INSECURITY she wants to live with someone who's already a citizen and get a citizen herself quick so that when anything goes wrong she can start a new life without being deported! I'm happy for you that it didn't go the way she has planned it otherwise you would have been in jail!!!! hmmm fear some women they are ready to do anything to get what they want without thinking about what will happen to the other person! that's why they say ' hell has no fury than a woman scorned'

Ayomidate:
So this doctor is here again to tarnish the image of his wife. When will you rest Mr docki. You go from one blog to the other creating fake username to justify what you did to a loving and loyal woman. Why not tell them on this forum how you use to beat your wife black and blue in Nigeria. Why not tell them on this forum how the police has arrested you on various occasion in Nigeria for beating up your wife. Remember to also let people hailing you on this forum know how you have a case with the human rights commission back home over your senseless beatings and abuse. Good thing you moved her to the UK last year. How have you been treating her since she moved to the UK?

You don't allow her to work, the moment she picks a shift with her agency you run away from the house so she can stay with your three kids. Don't forget the first kid isn't hers but she cared for the kids and lied to immigration the kid is hers to bring the boy here. You kept using the boy against her in the UK to disrespect her and lie to the police. You put cameras all over the house because you were expecting her to beat the boy one day so you can file child abuse against her but God pass you.

Kindly tell this forum how your wife has not been able to have just £50 in her name since she moved to England because you don't allow her work. You don't even give her money for food rather keep the food in your own bedroom. Tell people here how you use to seize her mobile phone not to get in touch with her family and friends back home and you did not allow her to keep friends in England. You've broken her phone on two occasions in your Plymouth abode and she kept hanging on to the marriage to make it work.

Kindly explain to this forum how you login into her social media account to chat with her male friends by trying to be her to see if she is dating anyone. You are the same person using her email address opened on your laptop to contact social workers that everything is fine when she reported you. Have you also forgotten all the threats you made to her if she ever end your career here and how you will end her life. You were only lucky to make a first report against her which were all concocted lies and she was giving a retraining order. You can go ahead and get all the restraining order you want in the UK but very soon you will roast.

She kept quiet all these while to save your career as a medical doctor but don't worry as the evidences against you are quite overwhelming. You can keep running for the little time you have but just kiss your career goodbye. This lady don too suffer and it will soon be payback time. Everything you were able to get away with in Nigeria has been unravelled. This is England you know and not naija�

Keep writing your fantasy stories

My dear if the lady in question is ur friend...advice her to move on with her life instead of looking for revenge cos it may get messier. Since she's over there, she can be useful to herself other than trying to be right or wrong. Pls don't encourage her to be dangerous. My people say...revenge always turn out to be worst and full of regret. You can't ruin a man's life and go Scot free easily.