₦airaland Forum

KingAzubuike:
Lol, most people on this thread are just being too sentimental and carried away because oh, it's their mom, love of their life, she gave birth to them. Fact is 90 of mother's hardly support their husbands. They put all the financial burden on him without wanting to spend their own money. Growing up, mine had a very terrible attitude I thought was normal but as I became a man and started thinking well I realised it didn't just make sense. Ordinary for we the children to eat bread, she'll never buy with her money, she'll rather be expecting our dad to come back home first so he can buy bread. She had a shop then, she ruthlessly packed all the food stuff in our home store to go and sell at her shop, there was usually nothing to eat at home because she had gone to sell them off and it's not as if she'll spend the profit on her kids, she'll rather spend it on her self. She was a salary earner too but the way she does and stingy with money, you'll begin to think she wasn't even earning anything.

Then there's another bad attitude of not being able to keep secret, she basically didn't know how to shut her mouth and hold tight to a secret. She was a kind of person that if she won $1M dollars, she'll make sure the whole world knows she just won a million dollars. When my sister traveled to Yankee back then, the person wey dey go Yankee self no tell many people . Just a few family members and about one or two friends. Na this my mum begun spread the news on her behalf even go church give testimony. When I gained admission to thw university, she made sure the whole world knew, I started getting unnecessary calls from strangers whose kids were also looking for admission. When I graduated same thing, I started getting calls from strangers congratulating me simply because she must have told the whole world as usual. I got my first job, same thing, na she go give testimony in church without my permission lol. I started getting unnecessary calls from people saying they needed financial assistance. And she would also never contribute anything but always want to enjoy the profit. We had a poultry then we run yearly, she will never use her own money to buy ordinary feed but when it's time to sell the birds , na there you go see am.

Also, she usually put herself first over her kids. She was never always ashamed to chop better food while her kids ate jargons. Those years, she did something which I can never forget. Her uncle came back from Canada and sent her some money to give to me. This woman never delivered the message, she squandered the money on God knows what. I only got to know few months later but kept quiet , I didn't say anything.

Fact is, you can't get any answers here because most people are just too sentimental. The love for their mom won't allow them the terrible side of her.

mikeybrainy fuckingmallam45 mobileboy Abbeylanre15

more and more IQ to your brain cells, most people will never get it

they take the rosy relationship between them and their father/mother as same as the relationship between thier father and mother

OnPointMan:
You haven't really paid enough attention, I've been here all this while darling.

really?weldone sir

Oyiboman69:
today is your lucky day...your wishes is fulfilled

ok Mr oyiboman

Liposure:
fake product

Attention seeker, you've been noticed... Now run along child

KingAzubuike:
Lol, most people on this thread are just being too sentimental and carried away because oh, it's their mom, love of their life, she gave birth to them. Fact is 90 of mother's hardly support their husbands. They put all the financial burden on him without wanting to spend their own money. Growing up, mine had a very terrible attitude I thought was normal but as I became a man and started thinking well I realised it didn't just make sense. Ordinary for we the children to eat bread, she'll never buy with her money, she'll rather be expecting our dad to come back home first so he can buy bread. She had a shop then, she ruthlessly packed all the food stuff in our home store to go and sell at her shop, there was usually nothing to eat at home because she had gone to sell them off and it's not as if she'll spend the profit on her kids, she'll rather spend it on her self. She was a salary earner too but the way she does and stingy with money, you'll begin to think she wasn't even earning anything.

Then there's another bad attitude of not being able to keep secret, she basically didn't know how to shut her mouth and hold tight to a secret. She was a kind of person that if she won $1M dollars, she'll make sure the whole world knows she just won a million dollars. When my sister traveled to Yankee back then, the person wey dey go Yankee self no tell many people . Just a few family members and about one or two friends. Na this my mum begun spread the news on her behalf even go church give testimony. When I gained admission to thw university, she made sure the whole world knew, I started getting unnecessary calls from strangers whose kids were also looking for admission. When I graduated same thing, I started getting calls from strangers congratulating me simply because she must have told the whole world as usual. I got my first job, same thing, na she go give testimony in church without my permission lol. I started getting unnecessary calls from people saying they needed financial assistance. And she would also never contribute anything but always want to enjoy the profit. We had a poultry then we run yearly, she will never use her own money to buy ordinary feed but when it's time to sell the birds , na there you go see am.

Also, she usually put herself first over her kids. She was never always ashamed to chop better food while her kids ate jargons. Those years, she did something which I can never forget. Her uncle came back from Canada and sent her some money to give to me. This woman never delivered the message, she squandered the money on God knows what. I only got to know few months later but kept quiet , I didn't say anything.

Fact is, you can't get any answers here because most people are just too sentimental. The love for their mom won't allow them the terrible side of her.

mikeybrainy fuckingmallam45 mobileboy Abbeylanre15

You are definitely right bro, to me oo, I have a wonderful father, my mother is a lucky woman on Earth having such a man as her husband.

[quote author=mikeybrainy post=89980771][/quote]Your story is quite touching, and it takes a lot of growing up/maturity to reach the level you have.

Forget most of the people here saying they will marry their mom or somebody like their mom, they haven't transcended to your level.

A lot of Nigerians don't realize they come from dysfunctional families, a lot of them don't know that their social behaviors can be traced back to family and community. It is almost like a Stockholm syndrome, where they can't differentiate love from abuse.

Anyways, I wish you all the best, you should try to sit her down and tell her these things you have in mind, it will ease your burden. Also, I must warn you, if you chose to speak to her about this, don't do it with the aim of changing her mind, do it simply because you want to get it off your chest, else you might be disappointed at how she receives the message.

All the best amigo.

mikeybrainy:
For me I wouldn't try it, I can never marry someone like my mom. If I try that I would end up in an asylum.

She is a good mother, though not perfect (nobody is).

Some of my reasons are:

Nagging (like the neigbours can narrate everything happening in our house if asked to)
Involving strangers in family issues (like she says everything)

She can't ever take the blame for anything (blames everyone for her woes, and she is never wrong)

She wants to collect back every single penny she spends in the house (which is impossible)
Incites the children against their father (never realized this until I grew up and started thinking like a man, and honestly I'm sorry for all the ways I have acted to my dad, though my own is still fair, my siblings have complete disregard for their father)

Other things too that I can't mention here (makes me feel ashamed.

I realized all these when I started looking at everything from the lens of a struggling husband and father, and I'm still contemplating if marriage is worth it after all, I might as well stay single.... (I only date and break up with girls in my mind, Lol) cos I don't think its worth all the stress. Growing up in a broken, dysfunctional home is hard (sighs).

I wouldn't put all the blame on my Mom but I have resolved not to imbibe my dad's bad habits too (I can't even drink 1% alcohol not because I can't or it's bad, but I run away from it when I think of the things dad would have achieved, if he were not addicted to it)

Sorry for the long post.

Can you marry someone like your mom/dad?

Opinions

What was your dad's alcohol habit like? Because millions of people take the stuff socially without any collateral damage to their work/family life.

Check well, you sound like some of your mom's prejudice against him is still in your system. I mean no offence though...

Rozz:
I will marry someone like my dad over and over again.Infact I have been looking for someone with my dad's qualities but it seems to have gone into extinction lol.

I have the qualities you want

SavageBoy:
Must you put several O's in the short

No mind me jor

membranus:
Let's wait to see what your children will say of you in your later years, after they have listened to your biography by your wife, then you can judge your Dad.

Ok

mobileboy:
more and more IQ to your brain cells, most people will never get it

they take the rosy relationship between them and their father/mother as same as the relationship between thier father and mother

Exactly. Mother - father relationship is different from mother/father- children relationship

Generalgoshen:
I have the qualities you want

lol easier said ...

with all your parents phenotypic features, i need to see your picture.
You must be damn beautiful and a wife material, i think i need a gentle woman to the bone.
aggressiveness is in my DNA already.
LOL

adadike:
My dad, a strict disciplinarian , provides for most of our needs. A strong prayer warrior, physically strong , very hard-working . Can stand by you even when the world is against you. Love you Daddy but I honestly would love to marry someone like my mom. Gently, tall, great physique, very sweet, light skin and beautiful woman. Kind to a fault. See everyone as a member of her family. Eat in the same plate with her maids and helpers. Takes good care of them as well. No difference between outsider, maid or children. Everyone is the same to her irrespective of religion and tribe, loves and caters for all . Strong and hard-working, supports her husband, keeps my extended family together. Loved and took good care of my paternal grand mother when she was alive. My Super Woman, I don't know if I can ever be like you coz you are extraordinary but I want to marry a man that near these qualities. God bless you mom

adadike:
My dad, a strict disciplinarian , provides for most of our needs. A strong prayer warrior, physically strong , very hard-working . Can stand by you even when the world is against you. Love you Daddy but I honestly would love to marry someone like my mom. Gently, tall, great physique, very sweet, light skin and beautiful woman. Kind to a fault. See everyone as a member of her family. Eat in the same plate with her maids and helpers. Takes good care of them as well. No difference between outsider, maid or children. Everyone is the same to her irrespective of religion and tribe, loves and caters for all . Strong and hard-working, supports her husband, keeps my extended family together. Loved and took good care of my paternal grand mother when she was alive. My Super Woman, I don't know if I can ever be like you coz you are extraordinary but I want to marry a man that near these qualities. God bless you mom

I haven't met your mum and I love her already.

[quote author=incogni2o post=90048931][/quote]You've missed the subtext of the post

valinno:
I pray to marry a lady like my mummy,I didn't grew up with my parents and my father died very early,I know what my mum went through to take of the family when dad died,one of our brothers in the compound told me that he has never seen where my mum and dad had any misunderstanding,she love all her children equally.

Lol you people aren't still getting the message. Mother- father relationship is different from mother- children relationship.

Bola146:
Good forbid I marry a man like my father, I pray that I marry a man so good, caring and generous like my mom

.

God will not forbid.... Just be prayerful and watch...

many ladies don't want to marry someone like their father because their mother is always busy orchestrating lies about their father to them as they are growing up whenever their dad is away. mothers as a way of making the children sees her as the superhero, thereby relegating d father's hustle. see, Its not easy to be a father ... believe me.

Emaprince:
No wonder you women are too bitter towards men on Naira land.

It all makes sense now.


If I see 5 women Like my mom, I will marry all

Stupid comments like this is what I hate about this forum, if you cannot tolerate another persons opinion about their own parent then park well and don't read the story. Shish, what kind of slow people do we have on this forum.

Amanee:
If na play, abeg stop am


A man like my dad? NEVER

Why??

Ladycewhy:
I always pray for God never to give me a man like my dad ,I would rather remain unmarried than marry a man like my dad!.


A wicked philanderer,a toxic misogynist,a typical traditional man still stuck in the 1800s

You sabi English...

Rozz:
really?weldone sir

Oh, I see! Maybe you have been taking good guys like me for jokers

Fuckingmallam45:
You are definitely right bro, to me oo, I have a wonderful father, my mother is a lucky woman on Earth having such a man as her husband.

Exactly.., honestly, most mother's peddle alot of lies to their kids about their dad. While growing up, anytime they had little misunderstanding like this , she'll start telling outsiders all sort of bullshit lol... Even telling them na she dey pay our school fees

So you come out to shame your mom for social media

crackland:
More men will definitely want to marry women like their mothers, but very few women will want to marry men like their fathers.

Says a whole lot...

Yes, because their mother's took up the mantle of providing when the dad chosed to be an efulefu

Ramos16:
You've missed the subtext of the post

I get you but not all questions always require a direct answer.

The point i am trying to make still relates to the post though.

phr0nesis:
Appearance: No
Character: Absolute YES

Note: Mum is good looking and looks a lot younger than her age but mehn she is shooooort

Lmao... I am sorry but you are funny.

Ladycewhy:
wetin happen?are you shocked that dead beat fathers is a norm among Nigerian men?nor let your eye balls fall out o

I comment my reserve

eni4real:
I comment my reserve

lol

Alero3Arubi:
When you age and start handling adult responsibilities, then you understand your parents more.
You begin to appreciate the sacrifices they made, the decisions they took, the lives they lived, the memories they could make for you.
With time you begin to become your parents too.
You make the same choices too.
Then you know what love means.
Sometimes too, you abandon everything they were and create a new path.
But in all your parents choices makes ypu who you eventually become.
Never forget where you came from. NEVER!

Very true

[color=#006600][/color]

mikeybrainy:
For me I wouldn't try it, I can never marry someone like my mom. If I try that I would end up in an asylum.

She is a good mother, though not perfect (nobody is).

Some of my reasons are:

Nagging (like the neigbours can narrate everything happening in our house if asked to)
Involving strangers in family issues (like she says everything)

She can't ever take the blame for anything (blames everyone for her woes, and she is never wrong)

She wants to collect back every single penny she spends in the house (which is impossible)
Incites the children against their father (never realized this until I grew up and started thinking like a man, and honestly I'm sorry for all the ways I have acted to my dad, though my own is still fair, my siblings have complete disregard for their father)

Other things too that I can't mention here (makes me feel ashamed.

I realized all these when I started looking at everything from the lens of a struggling husband and father, and I'm still contemplating if marriage is worth it after all, I might as well stay single.... (I only date and break up with girls in my mind, Lol) cos I don't think its worth all the stress. Growing up in a broken, dysfunctional home is hard (sighs).

I wouldn't put all the blame on my Mom but I have resolved not to imbibe my dad's bad habits too (I can't even drink 1% alcohol not because I can't or it's bad, but I run away from it when I think of the things dad would have achieved, if he were not addicted to it)

Sorry for the long post.

Can you marry someone like your mom/dad?

Opinions

Well l am already but l pray my children should marry someone like my father; gentleman, respectful,reasonable and generous and God-fearing man. God bless you dad.

Sierusvirus:
These tells you the evil women / mothers do at home, telling their children bad things about their father in-order to win them over.

I still have to blame the men for believing that things will get better or change and allowing this happen by getting married to
1. a broke girl who finds it very difficult to have a days meal.
2. a prostitute (red light, causal or corporate) and fighting to make her stop.
3. an irresponsible brat and trying to make her responsible.
4. a LovePeddler that sleeps and satisfies 15 guys a day to quench her sexual orgy and claiming she is doing that because of the money.
5. a stingy and lazy scum believing the husband is to take care of the family then die off fast so she can regularize her cheating partner.

Men, if you really want to change things to benefit you.
1. Never marry a jobless girl
2. Once she’s working, assign / divide the house responsibilities and give her 35% or 40% even more so she won’t have extra cash to cheat on you.
3. Talk less at home.
4. Never in your life trust any woman but never let her know, so your eyes will be on her illicit act anytime any day.
5. Never you eat alone, call her to eat with you. Greater percentage of woman poison their husbands food to destroy the mans body system gradually till you die and nobody will suspect her at all.
6. Never you payback or give back any money your wife spents at home, it’s part of building the family unless she will give you back all you have spent on her.

Thanks me later

Poor child! It appears that you grew up in a dysfunctional home and imagined it was normal.
Please don't get married until you heal.