₦airaland Forum

madridsta007:
6. Entitlement Mentality: This goes without saying. Any Nigerian who is "abroad" and legal is often quite busy- working, networking, studying, etc. His or her time is very premium to him/her. He or she has grown to understand value systems and concept of respect, gratitude, hard work, adaptability, flexibility, etc. Believe me, beyond what people say, the Nigerian "abroad" is not generally stingy; there is nothing "abroad" does to you that makes you stingy. If you are stingy "abroad" you must have been stingy in Nigeria. It is your character.

While the person "abroad" wants to help, the Nigerian in Nigeria should understand that you are NOT entitled to anything from this person abroad, unless you have a signed contract with the person. Hence if the person does anything for you, say "thank you" and mean it. You will not die. If the person spends hours speaking to you, chasing up things for you, and at the last minute, you drop the idea, PLEASE make sure you explain your reasons to the persovn and dont just ghost the person abroad. Believe me, he/she will regret ever making contact with you- his/her time is SO precious. Regardless of whom you are to him/her you are NOT entitled to his/her time. NO. Again, this person abroad will prefer you come to him/her with money-making ideas and NOT just begging each time. If you do that each time, he/she will avoid your calls and emails. I cant stress that enough.
Unfortunately Nigerians today, especially young Nigerians, are so entitled that you will wonder if it is a curse from somewhere. It annoys the Nigerian abroad and believe me, he/she will eventually avoid you.

I once spent my time and resources to chase up a scholarship for someone to go to the US. After getting everything done in the US, this fellow in Nigeria told me he wasnt interested again as, "I dont like the course". Really In the end I had to apologise and create a reason to the University why the student couldnt come. This was three years ago. Today, the student is still going up and down and hasnt moved an inch from where he was 3 years ago. For me, I regret that my time was wasted and I had to re-build my reputation with this particular institution. Why Nigerians are so inflexible with opportunities and don’t understand the concept of time annoys me.

I can go on and on, but you get my point.

Klass99:
I can relate to this post. I had a school mate schooling and working in Russia. She often had to fall back on money contributed by her siblings in Naija to survive. She didn't stay back after school, she came home.

My own cousin returned from Australia, after his Masters. He said the system over there won't allow you live a very comfortable life. Everything is billed and taxed to a point where, you can hardly afford nice but expensive things for yourself.

He said most of the people he befriended had never been on a plane or travelled outside their states of residence, because by the time they are done paying bills, there's very little left for travel. Travelling for them, would mean a financial plan of 6 or 8 months ahead for that trip.

sweetmelanin:
I wish this was the case for most people in Nigeria but the reality is that majority are suffering!

That it is well with you doesn't mean you disregard the plight of millions of jobless, lowly paid Nigerians who sadly also have a entitlement mentality towards those abroad, making financial demands on top of someone else's sweat!


EDIT:
I love seeing all these comments assuming those abroad are "struggling".. if believing this is what it'll take to get leeches off our backs then so be it! Stop begging money from your relatives abroad please.. they are all "broke and suffering"

You Nigerians in Nigeria are far better than us so please send us money

SweetCunt97:
Truth b told these abroad relatives won't let we here be.. And their call no dey finish. Stories upon stories.

P.S We igbos got this family tie we do not neglect when we travel out. It's all about family. An igbo man will firstly build a good house in his father's compound before anything.

rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.

Mcslize:
But this your abroad based hustle is not for love o or am I getting something wrong here. Hope it's for the paper so that when you get there you will unleash the beast in you as our ladies usually do once a guy take them abroad.

Hope I am on point on this.

Sleyanya1:
Nice one Sir. Knowing we've got people who'd always ask us to give keeps us motivated to earn more.

PigTormentor:
I will agree that your points cover most of the reasons why some don't send money just to anyone.

Another one is that, people in Nigeria feel entitled and think that it's your duty to assist whenever they come up with another "school fees ", "rent" and "medical" stories.
They might have even called or reached out to you when you were even not in good financial position but they think just because you are in the US , then you.must be able to help.

I have told this to many people in the past, - a lot of people in Nigeria have more in their savings accounts than most Nigerians abroad.
A lot of Americans don't have 1000 dollars in their accounts, they live pay check to pay check.
So how can they help you with school fees when they have Bill's to pay.

rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.

foleskay:
She's not. Damn serious. She's bn quoting guys even telling them to dm her.

missimelda01:
Diaspora or Nigeria, people will only ask for money when they think you're doing better than them, it's up to you to set your priorities right and give only when you can. I'm not against people(friends and family) asking for money when their in dire need, people are going through a lot and we should all agree that life abroad is way better than life here in Nigeria, so if you're in a position to help others, do so... It wouldn't stop you from saving or having a retirement plan.

wickyyolo:
Stay with your knowledge since you know it all. One day when you begin to earn more you will understand.

sassysure:
Haaa, your child for don get one wey dey primary school making you a grandfather

He too won't go to school.
Thanks to education and enlightenment

oyetpel:
Thank God my cousins are not iike these complainers.

They will refuse to send people money here (when they know the exchange rate is favourable to foreign currency), and then they mock people still stuck in Nigeria.

Despite the struggles my cuzs go through, they always have good things to say about abroad, and i hope i join them soon.


Continue complaining with the little change you send or not sending again, money you can make in one day.

Since you are not sending again, did they die?

PigTormentor:
In fact, the percentage of adults with less than $1,000 in savings increased slightly to 58 percent from 57 percent in 2017. The graphic below shows how much Americans have been saving over the years, beginning in 2014.May 15, 2019

58% of Americans Have Less Than $1,000 in Savings, Survey Findsfinance.yahoo.com › news ›

My assertions are partly factual and partly from experience - When I was living in the US, I knew many people who will call for help while in fact they have more money in their bank account than I did. This has happened to me, friends, other family members in the US.
Yes, living in the US, you will make more but you will also spend more. If care is not taking, you will be living pay check to pay check like the average American.
You will drive the best cars and live in a nice house all on credit and mortgage to be paid for on weekly basis. Whereas, your paddy in Nigeria has built a modest house that is PAID for, a car that is PAID for hence is able to save more than you paying on a 30 yr mortgage that might never be paid off.

rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.

Amanee:
Nobody asked you all these, always resist the urge to shalaye

smeag0l:
The complaint on nigerians here feeling that you must send money to them doesnt only apply to nigerians in diaspora. It also applies to nigerians that they feel are doing well here. I'm also posting to fault some of the things I've seen here. First, there's no where in the world where you pay 60% of your pay as tax. The highest I've seen is between 48-52% in some places in Europe and it applies to some levels of income. They run a progressive tax system in most European countries. Secondly, one can send money to someone abroad from Nigeria and ive done it a few times. Not everyone abroad have things going rosy for them.
Then, i want to ask nigerians in diaspora two questions. First, why do most nigerians that have been abroad for a while think everyone else living here in nigeria are never-do-wells and most of them tend to shun their nigerian friends? Secondly, what should be one's net income in nigeria for that person to abandon the idea of travelling abroad?I asked this last question because some of the friends I had while in the university and that are in the US now are asking me why I'm not making any efforts to come over and i usually tell them I'm wondering why I have to.

Predstan:
There is no need to have some thousand dollars sitting in your account when you have an insurance that covers your medical bills, you drive the latest car, you live a good house. What else do you need savings for? The only thing immigrants needs savings for is to cater for people that exploit them in Nigeria

Yoighaman:
Did you just write "...what do you need (money) savings for?....

You don't have dreams, ambition, purpose, aspirations etc in life?

eazzzy1:
Are you a Nigerian? do you have friends and family in diaspora or home who are doing well for themselves but will ignore your request to send money all the time? before you call them stingy or wicked, here are some of the reasons why rich friends do not give out money;

1. They don't have enough: Enough is subjective, someone can earn as much as $100,000/annum but feel he's not earning enough, some people have these dreams of being wealthy and that salary isn't sufficient to get them there. So you have a friend/relative who works in a big firm abroad, you think he's rich, he thinks he isn't earning enough. Even millionaires have needs too.

2. You are not the only one making financial demands: You think you are his best friend because you went to secondary school together and were seat mate or bunk mates in the hostel so automatically he should be predisposed to meeting your needs, well there are primary school best friends, university best friends, first love, NYSC best friends, Neighbours, uncles, aunties, brothers etc who think their request should be met too. It is impossible to meet all these needs.

3. Making financial demand is never a one time thing: I had this habit of giving money to people who ask for financial favors the first time. I thought since they never asked for such before, they must really be in need. I soon found out that after that first time they run to me whenever they need money again, sometimes they space out the request like two months, some every month etc. I then realize that the $100, $200 i send them is never going to be sufficient, they will always come back for more. So i joined the God will provide gang.

4. Yahoo boys : Not every fraudster hacks into companies accounts, or forge the accountants signature, or even find lonely older women/men to scam. Some yahoo boys have resorted to begging, they send you message of how their dad is dying in the hospital, how their sister got arrested for a crime she didn't commit and they need a lawyer bla bla, they call these lies format and once you send them money they pop champagne and call you client.

5. General realization : One day i was going through my bank statement and i noticed i gave out about $500 monthly to family and friends. The same me who will walk into H & M, see a shirt of $40 and think it's too costly. I either buy it grudgingly or wait till it's on sale to buy. I realized i wasn't taking care of myself enough. Most people will come to this realization at a point in their lives.

This thread isn't limited to just people abroad, it include people who work and earn who are home based too. How do you cope with demands?Diasporans what made you rethink your generousity?

Feel free to add yours.

Focusingmore:
Yeah when you're using walking stick and half blind.

Anyway everyone has their own perspective.

I felt sorry for the guy earning 4k and saving only 800.

Abroad no easy hence why u can't be spending anyhow

Prechgold1180:
Oga all of them we stingy
My education ought to be more important than dat birthday
My granddad has is own stinginess he is a politician Asin ward leader in Benin dat man has money dey recently made him d odionwere of one place like that
My family is just the definition of OYO on your own
My grand father prefers to spend on his lil gf s
Girl wey me suppose dey bleep my grandad carry Dem
Me dey count everything dey follow Dem
E get where d matter go reach I go set dat useless family house on fire

Prechgold1180:
divorced
Mumsi got 5 children to train all by herself
Dats y I Nur dey like disturb her with bills

bizme:

Unfortunately my voice is terrible.
But then I believe some people have adequately responded to him.

Predstan:
If your dreams need money to be dream, it's not a dream. All of this you mentioned are not actualized with money.

Give me an example of such dreams that you need money or all of your savings for?

cococandy:

Laughed when I read that

Mcslize:
That's the mistake people make. They post pictures on Facebook and before they know it their inbox is filled with how far na? Oboy u don yakpa? Abeg push me small thing na ma take hold myself tight abeg.

If they can keep their life private, I bet no one will know they've travelled out. Imagine having some old pictures dated back to 2009 in your Facebook account, who will even have time to view your Facebook to know you've travelled out?

But by the time you start uploading pictures with oyibos on the background, such person is already drawing attention to himself. The rate family and friends will fload your DM, you would be surprised yourself and confused as how come?

But the thing is that no matter how one tried to hide it, some persons will still know you are no longer in the country.

Predstan:
If you are doing the same job as that person in Nigeria, you cant earn up to 300 dollars