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Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by PigTormentor: 4:02pm On May 31, 2020
I will agree that your points cover most of the reasons why some don't send money just to anyone.

Another one is that, people in Nigeria feel entitled and think that it's your duty to assist whenever they come up with another "school fees ", "rent" and "medical" stories.
They might have even called or reached out to you when you were even not in good financial position but they think just because you are in the US , then you.must be able to help.

I have told this to many people in the past, - a lot of people in Nigeria have more in their savings accounts than most Nigerians abroad.
A lot of Americans don't have 1000 dollars in their accounts, they live pay check to pay check.
So how can they help you with school fees when they have Bill's to pay.

40 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Onyi22(f): 4:02pm On May 31, 2020
grin cheesy
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by utenwuson: 4:02pm On May 31, 2020
Refrain from asking in the first place..........

4 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by onegb(m): 4:03pm On May 31, 2020
Good
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by FirePower1(m): 4:06pm On May 31, 2020
Corona Virus escaped from somewhere in Wuhan China. Na the matter we dey settle all over the world since.

2 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Someone7(m): 4:08pm On May 31, 2020
Please how do I join the "God will provide crew?

Because apart from my parents I don't see why I should be spending huge chunks every month on someone else's recurring needs . Not even entitled siblings anymore. Na the same school fees our parents pay

8 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by seproperties(m): 4:08pm On May 31, 2020
Money is not picked on the Street ,Everyone must work.

12 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Nobody: 4:08pm On May 31, 2020
eazzzy1:
Are you a Nigerian? do you have friends and family in diaspora or home who are doing well for themselves but will ignore your request to send money all the time? before you call them stingy or wicked, here are some of the reasons why rich friends do not give out money;

1. They don't have enough: Enough is subjective, someone can earn as much as $100,000/annum but feel he's not earning enough, some people have these dreams of being wealthy and that salary isn't sufficient to get them there. So you have a friend/relative who works in a big firm abroad, you think he's rich, he thinks he isn't earning enough. Even millionaires have needs too.

2. You are not the only one making financial demands: You think you are his best friend because you went to secondary school together and were seat mate or bunk mates in the hostel so automatically he should be predisposed to meeting your needs, well there are primary school best friends, university best friends, first love, NYSC best friends, Neighbours, uncles, aunties, brothers etc who think their request should be met too. It is impossible to meet all these needs.

3. Making financial demand is never a one time thing: I had this habit of giving money to people who ask for financial favors the first time. I thought since they never asked for such before, they must really be in need. I soon found out that after that first time they run to me whenever they need money again, sometimes they space out the request like two months, some every month etc. I then realize that the $100, $200 i send them is never going to be sufficient, they will always come back for more. So i joined the God will provide gang.

4. Yahoo boys : Not every fraudster hacks into companies accounts, or forge the accountants signature, or even find lonely older women/men to scam. Some yahoo boys have resorted to begging, they send you message of how their dad is dying in the hospital, how their sister got arrested for a crime she didn't commit and they need a lawyer bla bla, they call these lies format and once you send them money they pop champagne and call you client.

5. General realization : One day i was going through my bank statement and i noticed i gave out about $500 monthly to family and friends. The same me who will walk into H & M, see a shirt of $40 and think it's too costly. I either buy it grudgingly or wait till it's on sale to buy. I realized i wasn't taking care of myself enough. Most people will come to this realization at a point in their lives.

This thread isn't limited to just people abroad, it include people who work and earn who are home based too. How do you cope with demands?Diasporans what made you rethink your generousity?

Feel free to add yours.
May GOD BLESS YOU.
I have suffered.
...... I used to have a FRIEND whom I have always made effort to chat up with while in Nigeria. Every Effort I made was treated with Levity.
But since he got to know that I relocated to ABROAD, MENNN he now calls like I owe him a lot.

.....a COUSIN of MINE called and told me how he was arrested by POLICE for Theft. He told me he was calling from the POLICE STATION. I now beckoned on him to give the phone to any Officer, and again that I would call the policeman I know in Nigeria to intervene, could you believe that it's 3years now since I started waiting for him to handover the PHONE to the Police officers at the station.....

My EX-GIRLFRIENDS want to Kill me.
Including the ones that are successfully married.
I had to open a payment voucher for them to support them. I know NIGERIA is very tough. After all I left just few years back.

42 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Millennialaku(m): 4:08pm On May 31, 2020
Amanee:




Nobody asked you all these, always resist the urge to shalaye

STFU !! are you jealous, cant you see he is contributing to the thread. angry angry

always resist the urge to display your senselessness

all these kids on nairaland seff angry angry

#spits

39 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Sonnobax15(m): 4:10pm On May 31, 2020
undecided Abeg who go wicked go wicked..

forget these many opinions and reasons,.

some people wey dey panya no go like reason their people for home base on say dem don already decide to dine and wine with devil.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by mountmoriah(m): 4:11pm On May 31, 2020
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2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by bukatyne(f): 4:11pm On May 31, 2020
oyetpel:
Thank God my cousins are not iike these complainers.

They will refuse to send people money here (when they know the exchange rate is favourable to foreign currency), and then they mock people still stuck in Nigeria.

Despite the struggles my cuzs go through, they always have good things to say about abroad, and i hope i join them soon.


Continue complaining with the little change you send or not sending again, money you can make in one day.

Since you are not sending again, did they die?

What kind of demonic entitlement is this?

Is it the money you kept with them you are asking for?

57 Likes 8 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by kabukabu50(m): 4:11pm On May 31, 2020
At this point it's very annoying. Certain Naija numbers I don't pick up anymore, because they keep bothering about how they need money,how many kids they have to feed and pay school fees

Haba no be me born dem so why I go dey contribute naw?

On top of that they tell you to start building investment,God punish them.... Yeye investment wey dem go use my money do owambe.

Besides that money in the US is taxed I mean how do you think they pay for all this infrastructure?

I'm just hustling no be me go be Maga for these Naija people.

28 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by brownemmanuel43(m): 4:12pm On May 31, 2020
I think the best thing here is that, instead of giving out cash, the young ones among them, set them up in a little way. I mean paying for any skill for them through their parents. I believe in empowerment than dishing out cash.

15 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by apexx8194: 4:12pm On May 31, 2020
[color=#] 3161146[/color]

1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Tedpgrass: 4:12pm On May 31, 2020
Hmm..
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by ADAMUdaCOWBOY: 4:14pm On May 31, 2020
rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.
I have tried to explain this to many people on and off nairaland but to no avail.

7 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by wisdomiskey(m): 4:14pm On May 31, 2020
oyetpel:
Thank God my cousins are not iike these complainers.

They will refuse to send people money here (when they know the exchange rate is favourable to foreign currency), and then they mock people still stuck in Nigeria.

Despite the struggles my cuzs go through, they always have good things to say about abroad, and i hope i join them soon.


Continue complaining with the little change you send or not sending again, money you can make in one day.

Since you are not sending again, did they die?

How dare you feel entitled to money someone else worked for? angry

People with your mindset often live and DIE in poverty because they spend they whole life with a bambiala mentality.

63 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by AllenSpencer: 4:15pm On May 31, 2020
rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.

Lies!

You have no idea about the system.

Beer parlour gist

24 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by ednut1(m): 4:15pm On May 31, 2020
Once abroad resist the urge to post pictures. Find your parents something from time to time. Finish.

38 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by MayenKudi: 4:15pm On May 31, 2020
lol, if they dont want to share money no p. whats their excuse for not sharing data then when they can easily do that by dialing *432# on airtel Me2U. las las na pesin wey wan give go give.

5 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by SweetCunt97(f): 4:16pm On May 31, 2020
God bless that special uncle.. Dude was simply a giver, never complains. He always prepares list of people he'd give money to. People far and wide respected him sooo much. He's simply one of a kind.

Best is simply help the relative cross over so they can hustle and help others, no be to dey how many thousands come dey complain anyhow.

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by tillaman(m): 4:16pm On May 31, 2020
Oil dey your head op!! Big ups

1 Like

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by victorjoe(m): 4:17pm On May 31, 2020
Story!!! Who stingy stingy. I have a friend that never sends money or help his very own blood brother in any way.

Meanwhile this his brother that is here in naija has a friend that sends him money anytime he requests. I mean round the clock. They are both in the US o. Meanwhile, this guy's brother earns way more than the friend.

18 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by SweetCunt97(f): 4:17pm On May 31, 2020
ednut1:
Once abroad resist the urge to post pictures. Find your parents something from time to time. Finish.
You no get siblings? Won't it b better to assist d ones you can to cross so that the burden of give give go lessen for your side? Abi you an only child?

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by frankson1(m): 4:17pm On May 31, 2020
eazzzy1:
Are you a Nigerian? do you have friends and family in diaspora or home who are doing well for themselves but will ignore your request to send money all the time? before you call them stingy or wicked, here are some of the reasons why rich friends do not give out money;

1. They don't have enough: Enough is subjective, someone can earn as much as $100,000/annum but feel he's not earning enough, some people have these dreams of being wealthy and that salary isn't sufficient to get them there. So you have a friend/relative who works in a big firm abroad, you think he's rich, he thinks he isn't earning enough. Even millionaires have needs too.

2. You are not the only one making financial demands: You think you are his best friend because you went to secondary school together and were seat mate or bunk mates in the hostel so automatically he should be predisposed to meeting your needs, well there are primary school best friends, university best friends, first love, NYSC best friends, Neighbours, uncles, aunties, brothers etc who think their request should be met too. It is impossible to meet all these needs.

3. Making financial demand is never a one time thing: I had this habit of giving money to people who ask for financial favors the first time. I thought since they never asked for such before, they must really be in need. I soon found out that after that first time they run to me whenever they need money again, sometimes they space out the request like two months, some every month etc. I then realize that the $100, $200 i send them is never going to be sufficient, they will always come back for more. So i joined the God will provide gang.

4. Yahoo boys : Not every fraudster hacks into companies accounts, or forge the accountants signature, or even find lonely older women/men to scam. Some yahoo boys have resorted to begging, they send you message of how their dad is dying in the hospital, how their sister got arrested for a crime she didn't commit and they need a lawyer bla bla, they call these lies format and once you send them money they pop champagne and call you client.

5. General realization : One day i was going through my bank statement and i noticed i gave out about $500 monthly to family and friends. The same me who will walk into H & M, see a shirt of $40 and think it's too costly. I either buy it grudgingly or wait till it's on sale to buy. I realized i wasn't taking care of myself enough. Most people will come to this realization at a point in their lives.

This thread isn't limited to just people abroad, it include people who work and earn who are home based too. How do you cope with demands?Diasporans what made you rethink your generousity?

Feel free to add yours.





You are so on point but let me tell you about number 5. One day I realised that I had just a black shoe I wear to church and didn't have lots of clothes in my wardrobe. I took calculator and punched the figures to check how much I make for a year and afterwards I checked my account balance and what was there was embarrassing. I never knew I was working and paying family and friends until that moment. So I took a hard decision to take care of myself. I ignored them for about 3 months.

If you follow the folks who request for money every now and then you will keep struggling.

I give them 'bobo juice' now because I cannot come and kill myself.

34 Likes

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