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Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by OgwuEgo: 4:17pm On May 31, 2020
I also have a lot on my hands and I may contest in the next elections so I avoid giving out, I rather you left uncountable unreplied messages than I gave out a dime recently, once you give more than once, some people start depending on you.

5 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by mofedamijo(m): 4:18pm On May 31, 2020
You're on point OP........
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by SweetCunt97(f): 4:18pm On May 31, 2020
tillaman:
Oil dey your head op!! Big ups
Na so u stingy? This money you no carry 1kobo ball out o
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Hoodbilonia: 4:19pm On May 31, 2020
Shor tor pu
OP.

So naija na the place ba
Fool
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Thingsvirtous19(f): 4:19pm On May 31, 2020
I can totally relate to point 5. Folks..take care of yourself oh. To buy 5k-10k slipper go dey hard me. But I can give out 20k without blinking. Is that life?

It was one of my sweet anty that I give money that yabbed me. She said to me.. Xyz you can give people money but you are stingy to yourself. She also told me to spent not recklessly but well enough to enjoy my money because people will always demand for it from me.

I am grateful for that pep talk. After I have saved and spent to satisfy myself..I can freely give the remaining without lying or feeling guilty.

I also havE special request from folks that no matter what.. I can suspend my "enjoyment" to satisfy them.

Also if relatives wants to borrow a huge sum of money and I have it to spare but I am afraid that it gonna cause rift when I try to recoup my money. I bring in a third party. Mostly fAKE documents stating that the third party lend the money and I am just a witness. God will help us all.

24 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by cococandy(f): 4:19pm On May 31, 2020
eazzzy1:


Lol. [Nobody makes $100,000 and ends up with $40,000 after deductions. Anyway this is not a homebased vs diasporan thread. How do you cope with the people abroad making financial request?
cheesy grin
Laughed when I read that

13 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by ednut1(m): 4:20pm On May 31, 2020
SweetCunt97:
You no get siblings? Won't it b better to assist d ones you can to cross so that the burden of give give go lessen for your side? Abi you an only child?
my siblings are doing ok and person wey born them don train them grin

19 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by SweetCunt97(f): 4:21pm On May 31, 2020
bjprodint:
i pray i make it in life so that i can always send my old dad money.i havent done so this year.
Amen. Let it be as your heart has yearned.

11 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by sweetmelanin(f): 4:23pm On May 31, 2020
bukatyne:


What kind of demonic entitlement is this?

Is it the money you kept with them you are asking for?


As in! I just taya for some of these NIN folks sad

9 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by SweetCunt97(f): 4:24pm On May 31, 2020
ednut1:
my siblings are doing ok and person wey born them don train them grin
Lolzzz, lemme leave it at that abeg as some people dey view this world black and white.

2 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by lekki1444: 4:24pm On May 31, 2020
cococandy:
cheesy grin
Laughed when I read that
why is it exagerrated that you end up with 40k after tax ?
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by ogbonti: 4:24pm On May 31, 2020
eazzzy1:


This is not always the case for immigrants, especially the ones of coming from Africa. There is a minimum wage system in most developed country, meaning no matter what you do, you can not earn below certain amount of money. These wages are put in place with consideration to cost of living, i.e housing, transport, feeding, taxation etc. Most minimum wages are livable wages, you can survive and live comfortably if you live according to your means.

Most Diasporans who come back home only do so because they do not see themselves doing these minimum wage paying jobs. e.g your cousin with a master degree wouldn't want to work as a security or sales associate at a store. Depending on ones course of study, grades, age, past work experience, not every diasporan will get the career of their choice. As long as you are able and willing to work and spend according to your means, you won't suffer.


comment from another entitled Nigerian

so as long as you keep working- feed the beast of greed that fuels the beggars who won’t do anything for themselves

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Naija246: 4:24pm On May 31, 2020
You're informed bro!! grin
Chop knuckle!
rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.

2 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by sweetmelanin(f): 4:25pm On May 31, 2020
kabukabu50:
At this point it's very annoying. Certain Naija numbers I don't pick up anymore, because they keep bothering about how they need money,how many kids they have to feed and pay school fees

Haba no be me born dem so why I go dey contribute naw?

On top of that they tell you to start building investment,God punish them.... Yeye investment wey dem go use my money do owambe.

Besides that money in the US is taxed I mean how do you think they pay for all this infrastructure?

I'm just hustling no be me go be Maga for these Naija people.


I don't blame them. I blame the gullible ones abroad who keep sending their hard earned money for others to squander. God forbid I send a dime to anybody back home - when I'm not an ATM machine.

Tommorow its these same people that will start bad mouthing you that abroad people are "living in cubicle, they are broke, they pay bills, they work menial jobs" etc.... but they are shameless enough to beg money from you lipsrsealed

36 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by sunboy(m): 4:25pm On May 31, 2020
Amanee:




Nobody asked you all these, always resist the urge to shalaye

Me I just weak o

4 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by agborodun: 4:26pm On May 31, 2020
Another very important reason is BILLS.
Payment of bills(light,water,gas,rent) takes the bulk put of all the incomes..
People are monthly reduced to nothing after paying the very huge bills.
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by cococandy(f): 4:26pm On May 31, 2020
PigTormentor:
I will agree that your points cover most of the reasons why some don't send money just to anyone.

Another one is that, people in Nigeria feel entitled and think that it's your duty to assist whenever they come up with another "school fees ", "rent" and "medical" stories.
They might have even called or reached out to you when you were even not in good financial position but they think just because you are in the US , then you.must be able to help.

I have told this to many people in the past, - a lot of people in Nigeria have more in their savings accounts than most Nigerians abroad.
A lot of Americans don't have 1000 dollars in their accounts
, they live pay check to pay check.
So how can they help you with school fees when they have Bill's to pay.

Hmm.
Where are these stats coming from?

7 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by timesup234: 4:26pm On May 31, 2020
The only reason is because they are broke azzes
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by victme1(m): 4:27pm On May 31, 2020
Good morning. I came back to xxxxx yesterday. My brother i no what you're passing through but you're better than me.i need your help any amount can survive me.i beg you nothing on me at all. Thanks. name
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by smasher1(m): 4:28pm On May 31, 2020
rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.

Well said.

1 Like

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by foleskay(m): 4:28pm On May 31, 2020
Amanee:




Nobody asked you all these, always resist the urge to shalaye
Shut up. Let him shalaye. We dey learn

23 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by sunboy(m): 4:28pm On May 31, 2020
rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.
Yes you are bragging! And your exaggeration is out of this world wow!

In what state do you earn 100k and left with 40k after tax ... are they paying tax to God ? Abeg go and sit down Mr Shalaye

31 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Nobody: 4:28pm On May 31, 2020
You hit the nail in the head several times! To extend your last point, I have found out that most times the people you're giving money to end up spending your money on things you are not likely to indulge yourself with. It doesn't mean you cannot afford such things, but it makes no financial sense to spend money on such things. Giving an example here would make my post long, so I am not gonna do that.

Another point is that, some givers believe it is irresponsible of them to indulge or continue indulging the beggars' demand for money because most people are habitual beggars rather than circumstantial ones.

Also, it makes no sense for someone to be working and brainstorming 24/7 to build wealth only to give it away to people are not interested in either hardwork or any form of work at all. A very good subset of those who beg feel entitled to others' sweat and they often lack the discipline to stay within their earnings.

And you're right cyberbegging should officially be seen now as another form of Yahoo-yahoo.

Thanks for the nice post.

eazzzy1:
Are you a Nigerian? do you have friends and family in diaspora or home who are doing well for themselves but will ignore your request to send money all the time? before you call them stingy or wicked, here are some of the reasons why rich friends do not give out money;

1. They don't have enough: Enough is subjective, someone can earn as much as $100,000/annum but feel he's not earning enough, some people have these dreams of being wealthy and that salary isn't sufficient to get them there. So you have a friend/relative who works in a big firm abroad, you think he's rich, he thinks he isn't earning enough. Even millionaires have needs too.

2. You are not the only one making financial demands: You think you are his best friend because you went to secondary school together and were seat mate or bunk mates in the hostel so automatically he should be predisposed to meeting your needs, well there are primary school best friends, university best friends, first love, NYSC best friends, Neighbours, uncles, aunties, brothers etc who think their request should be met too. It is impossible to meet all these needs.

3. Making financial demand is never a one time thing: I had this habit of giving money to people who ask for financial favors the first time. I thought since they never asked for such before, they must really be in need. I soon found out that after that first time they run to me whenever they need money again, sometimes they space out the request like two months, some every month etc. I then realize that the $100, $200 i send them is never going to be sufficient, they will always come back for more. So i joined the God will provide gang.

4. Yahoo boys : Not every fraudster hacks into companies accounts, or forge the accountants signature, or even find lonely older women/men to scam. Some yahoo boys have resorted to begging, they send you message of how their dad is dying in the hospital, how their sister got arrested for a crime she didn't commit and they need a lawyer bla bla, they call these lies format and once you send them money they pop champagne and call you client.

5. General realization : One day i was going through my bank statement and i noticed i gave out about $500 monthly to family and friends. The same me who will walk into H & M, see a shirt of $40 and think it's too costly. I either buy it grudgingly or wait till it's on sale to buy. I realized i wasn't taking care of myself enough. Most people will come to this realization at a point in their lives.

This thread isn't limited to just people abroad, it include people who work and earn who are home based too. How do you cope with demands?Diasporans what made you rethink your generousity?

Feel free to add yours.

16 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by DaddyGngeess(m): 4:28pm On May 31, 2020
rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.



Thank you for saying this, I have been saying this alot of times actually the problem in Nigeria is the money to invest as soon as you have it is better to come back home and invest.

2 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by AntonVince: 4:28pm On May 31, 2020
eazzzy1:
Are you a Nigerian? do you have friends and family in diaspora or home who are doing well for themselves but will ignore your request to send money all the time? before you call them stingy or wicked, here are some of the reasons why rich friends do not give out money;

1. They don't have enough: Enough is subjective, someone can earn as much as $100,000/annum but feel he's not earning enough, some people have these dreams of being wealthy and that salary isn't sufficient to get them there. So you have a friend/relative who works in a big firm abroad, you think he's rich, he thinks he isn't earning enough. Even millionaires have needs too.

2. You are not the only one making financial demands: You think you are his best friend because you went to secondary school together and were seat mate or bunk mates in the hostel so automatically he should be predisposed to meeting your needs, well there are primary school best friends, university best friends, first love, NYSC best friends, Neighbours, uncles, aunties, brothers etc who think their request should be met too. It is impossible to meet all these needs.

3. Making financial demand is never a one time thing: I had this habit of giving money to people who ask for financial favors the first time. I thought since they never asked for such before, they must really be in need. I soon found out that after that first time they run to me whenever they need money again, sometimes they space out the request like two months, some every month etc. I then realize that the $100, $200 i send them is never going to be sufficient, they will always come back for more. So i joined the God will provide gang.

4. Yahoo boys : Not every fraudster hacks into companies accounts, or forge the accountants signature, or even find lonely older women/men to scam. Some yahoo boys have resorted to begging, they send you message of how their dad is dying in the hospital, how their sister got arrested for a crime she didn't commit and they need a lawyer bla bla, they call these lies format and once you send them money they pop champagne and call you client.

5. General realization : One day i was going through my bank statement and i noticed i gave out about $500 monthly to family and friends. The same me who will walk into H & M, see a shirt of $40 and think it's too costly. I either buy it grudgingly or wait till it's on sale to buy. I realized i wasn't taking care of myself enough. Most people will come to this realization at a point in their lives.

This thread isn't limited to just people abroad, it include people who work and earn who are home based too. How do you cope with demands?Diasporans what made you rethink your generousity?

Feel free to add yours.

Number 2 is particularly incisive.
Nigerians with their entitlement mentality never consider the fact that there are scores of other people also looking up to you.

10 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by DeRay98(m): 4:28pm On May 31, 2020
rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.

Some of what you said are quite true but most of those tired and stranded diasporans could've decided to return home and use their knowledge and exposure to do greater things and make comfortable wealth at home but for insecurity in the country.
If you've lived abroad for a couple of years you 'll find out that you can no longer accept the chaotic system at home.
Boys are hunting for acatarians to kidnap for ransome, Police are colluding with these boys for their cut, extorting, harassing and killing randomly.
Electricity that's taken for granted else where is big deal at home, the fear of coming back into that situation keeps them back at least for safety and level comfort.

19 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by primeson1(m): 4:28pm On May 31, 2020
rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, ....

All lies bro...who makes 100k and get 40k after tax.
You say tax...when you buy things online, go shoprite in Naija, won't you pay tax? Una want free free things...gluttons.
If you get a mortgage in Naija...won't you be paying it every time b4 the tenure ends?
You can get cable free with ordinary Amazon firestick 4k.
If you go abroad the legal way and have your qualifications...you should get a good job with time and you won't suffer .
Everyone can't make it in life but these abroad countries give a better opportunity than Naija.

No gock.

34 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by monfizzy(m): 4:29pm On May 31, 2020
All good points. It’s very tiring when many people are asking for financial help at same time, makes you either priorities who to assist and who not to based on your surplus income. Everybody want something and there’s just not much you can do. Worst is that most of those friends and distant relatives who’re expecting feel entitled and the moment you don’t oblige they start giving you attitude.

Personally, I’ve earmarked about £100-£150 to assist friends and distant relatives every month but it’s never enough as I’ve to split it between 5-10k per person but they still give me the feeling like it’s not enough when I’ve to inconvenient myself with some luxury. Anytime I think of shopping wears/trainers as I’m a lover of sneakers of about £100, I often feel I’m being wasteful as such money will go a long way to help acquaintance back home and often forget the idea of buying them.

While it is true that life is a bit fair in the West, U.K. in particular, it’s never rosy as one has to work hard, offset bills like housing, car insurance etc which can significantly drain one’s income so Nigerians have to learn to be appreciative for every pounds they get and learn to understand when told nwanne today I no get.

23 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by 1Sharon(f): 4:29pm On May 31, 2020
Yh...I can tell this thread is going to grow very long

3 Likes

Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Resees: 4:29pm On May 31, 2020
rentAcock:
Abroad people call me every weekend asking me to send money (not bragging). Many of them are frustrated over there. They work long hours including overtime but the government takes federal, state, city, social security, medicare, medicaid and disability taxes. On top of that, when they buy biscuit, they will still take sales tax. They pay exorbitant rent; those who "own" homes are locked in a loan repayment for 30yrs of which they still have to pay annual taxes for their house. Phone bill can cost over $60 per line, cable $120, internet $80 and they still pay tax on top of it. Burger and chips with soft drink can easily cost you $16 plus tax.

Sure some folks are making over $100,000 theoretically especially healthcare workers in expensive states like California and new York, but by the time they deduct all those taxes from their check, they are left with just $40,000. Then they still have to pay more taxes on every thing they buy. That's not life. It's like a rat wheel, oscillating but not making any progress. I have a cousin who was in the same situation in America, after 10yrs working as a social worker, he returned home and we started up a business. He still regrets all the years he spent slaving away in America. Today, he travels the world on vacation and visiting places he didn't even have time to visit when he was living abroad. It's not too late for Nigerians living abroad to return home; you can make it big here with less stress and you will extend your life span.
Shot fired.
Re: Why Your Diasporan Friends And Family Do Not Send You Money When You Ask. by Sweetcho: 4:29pm On May 31, 2020
eazzzy1:
Are you a Nigerian? do you have friends and family in diaspora or home who are doing well for themselves but will ignore your request to send money all the time? before you call them stingy or wicked, here are some of the reasons why rich friends do not give out money;

1. They don't have enough: Enough is subjective, someone can earn as much as $100,000/annum but feel he's not earning enough, some people have these dreams of being wealthy and that salary isn't sufficient to get them there. So you have a friend/relative who works in a big firm abroad, you think he's rich, he thinks he isn't earning enough. Even millionaires have needs too.

2. You are not the only one making financial demands: You think you are his best friend because you went to secondary school together and were seat mate or bunk mates in the hostel so automatically he should be predisposed to meeting your needs, well there are primary school best friends, university best friends, first love, NYSC best friends, Neighbours, uncles, aunties, brothers etc who think their request should be met too. It is impossible to meet all these needs.

3. Making financial demand is never a one time thing: I had this habit of giving money to people who ask for financial favors the first time. I thought since they never asked for such before, they must really be in need. I soon found out that after that first time they run to me whenever they need money again, sometimes they space out the request like two months, some every month etc. I then realize that the $100, $200 i send them is never going to be sufficient, they will always come back for more. So i joined the God will provide gang.

4. Yahoo boys : Not every fraudster hacks into companies accounts, or forge the accountants signature, or even find lonely older women/men to scam. Some yahoo boys have resorted to begging, they send you message of how their dad is dying in the hospital, how their sister got arrested for a crime she didn't commit and they need a lawyer bla bla, they call these lies format and once you send them money they pop champagne and call you client.

5. General realization : One day i was going through my bank statement and i noticed i gave out about $500 monthly to family and friends. The same me who will walk into H & M, see a shirt of $40 and think it's too costly. I either buy it grudgingly or wait till it's on sale to buy. I realized i wasn't taking care of myself enough. Most people will come to this realization at a point in their lives.

This thread isn't limited to just people abroad, it include people who work and earn who are home based too. How do you cope with demands?Diasporans what made you rethink your generousity?

Feel free to add yours.

Yes I gave my cousin $2500 to buy a car with would you believe after he received the money and bought the car he never even said thanks cousin this is the car I bought! I never heard from him again until the next time they're in need. And it's not a pay me back when you get it loan this is money you will never get back again

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