₦airaland Forum

Your boy friend must be a dullard from a planet A.

Every lady likes an happening man and not a way ward man.

If he cannot hold a conversations for a minutes then how did he ask you out.

Are you so cheap that anyone could just walk in and say hello and you give it to him.

My advice goes thus



Give him a sound powerful etisalat slap and his medulla oblangata would open.

merahki:

Just accept they are very different kinds of people shaa. You made a good effort though, well done.
I am playing your picture now, and after she mentions who GL is, he says, “hey yaa” and waits for the lady to leave before switching channels to one Nollywood channel where all his reality, imagination and entertainment lies. Or to a boxing channel. Or to whatever it is that occupies his brain/mind (this could even be money and how to make it rain).
The next time they meet, she brings it up and he wonders in his head “oo na nwanyi a ama hapu mu aka to be, eh? Kedu udu nonsense bu nkea?” ...when he gists his friends, they go like “ndi oke akwukwo a, why you can’t choose simple and beautiful Ugomma who can cook well and is respectful, na ada eye nsogbu, we don’t know!”...

The poster without meaning to, is likely to let contempt for him seep into their lives, with ugly consequences. As it is, he is the innocent one here, because he is there being himself, feeling all accepted and secure while she is here wanting him to be who he is not, for her peace of mind, to accept him better.

With a situation flip, a woman is more likely to learn new things to better fit into a partner’s world . First reason (a good one, from Nature, why we multitask better) is because of all the ?lateral inhibition they are capable of, and the second (a bad one, from conditioning) is that because of our society, where women aspire to be wives and the men pick, the women would be more likely to do MORE to “be chosen”.

She should just find someone she can respect I think. It is impossible for me to fall for someone who isn’t somehow “more” sha, I even want to learn from a man, but then it’s not about me.
He is not a bad person, he is just not for the poster if the marriage has to start off with a fighting chance. Of course people can defy odds, so, yeah.

Chai, merakhi nwannem o, see as you are blasting English like sey tomorrow no dey. You are my new woman crush, no homo

Snipespeter:
This life self, you try to hold a meaningful conversation with your girlfriend she will say that you are claiming you know it all.
You keep quiet for peace to reign, they say you are not smart. I tire oh

I am disappointed in the lady for saying this rubbish. You see the reason men like to play girls n end up breaking their heart. What do girls want in life? If she is looking for a perfect guy make she go build am herself. Is she perfect? If I were the guy I will dump her ass n look for a humble lady.

Na wa o. Which kind boyfriend be that one?

Dull thing. Manage him till you find someone better. Sorry o.

On second thought, I hope you are not sleeping with him? Some negroes are in fake relationships just for that. They are not interested in deep conversations with you....just sex.

Be careful.

HEY MISS, ONE THING U SHOULD UNDERSTAND IN LIFE IS DAT U CANNOT HAVE IT ALL.

GO GET A GUY WHO CAN CONVERSE VERY WELL, BUT U LATER FIND OUT HE'S TEMPERAMENTAL AND AGGRESSIVE.

BE CONTENTED DEAR.

phemmyfour:
Why not show him the way. You are in that relationship to complement/improve him.

Try his area of interest, may be football etc

Come down to his level, let him be comfortable discussing with you

Read books together, encourage him to read wide and watch educative programmes.

This type of challenge can be work upon, not enough reason to leave him or quit

You think it's easy changing a full grown man? She might have to carry out that job description for the rest of their relationship till she gives up. In this 21st century being dumb is a choice, take it or leave it.

jansonn:
Chai, this life!! And me dey find girl I can discuss politics, nature, medicine and all that intellectual sturvs and all the girls I meet are as dumb as a chicken only Instagram and billing, even the fashion they claim they know and the movies they watch, they can't identify Sylvester stallion, they still call him Rambo for goodness sakes!! Let's chat pls, am really sapiosexual and am done with these "pretty" girls

hello i am interested

Ariza:
You would probably get same reaction from me if you send me random stuff you find on the internet . And FYI I'm a lady. So I can understand your man and you too. Your Man isn't the chatty type. But you can't tell me there aren't times he shows interest in some things or even try to discuss them with you. Things you sometimes find boring.

My dear you two are kind of different in that aspect, and it's either you work around it, accept it or walk away from it. Whatever you want to do think over it properly. But just know this, I don't consider him Dumb, He has his mind elsewhere. Talk to him, ask him why he hardly engage in conversations with you. The funny thing is He may have same impression of you. . You obviously have been conversing about the wrong things in your relationship.

Well said.

people think I'm not smart too... what they dont know is that, I just like keeping things to myself until I'm free with them before I begin to speak up.

when some say I'm not smart, I just SMH and smile inside. Funniest thing is that, most of these people who act like they are the smartest are sometimes the dumbest.


back to the question, I think you should find what his interests are then you know what to do after wards

Spiff20:
You think it's easy changing a full grown man? She might have to carry out that job description for the rest of their relationship till she gives up. In this 21st century being dumb is a choice, take it or leave it.

She didn't try, most ladies want a ready made man on all sides

Snipespeter:
This life self, you try to hold a meaningful conversation with your girlfriend she will say that you are claiming you know it all.
You keep quiet for peace to reign, they say you are not smart. I tire oh

me sef i weak

Hathor5:
It does not work that way. When we first fall in love, we fall in love with the image of the person, which is 80% the making of our fantasy because we don't know know the person yet and don't have the full true picture of them. As we discover their true self we stay in love, fall deeper or fall out.

I agree with you to a point, but didn't OP have conversations with the guy during courtship? If she is claiming the guy is not smart, then he has always been not smart. So why didn't she notice that during courtship? Maybe she was blinded by some other material things.

You cant enjoy the company of someone that you are not on the same reasoning frequency for a long time, it becomes boring and lopsided.

You are probably just attracted to his physiological traits and his submissive nature and such attractions don't last for long. However, If you truly admire and you think he is got potentials to learn, you brush him up to the level you think is reasonable enough.

Na wahooo! Just conversation he is not smart, he is dull. There is nothing one does these days to please these daughters of Eve. If he is dull as you claim hòw did he woo you? Which means you are dull too.

cynosuree:
for example, I see a controversial post on social media that's been attracting attention. I screenshot and send to him, asks what his opinion is. It doesn't even require too much brain work, just tell me what you think.

His typical reply is "It's cool, I guess"

So I try to get him to be less vague by asking him to explain what he means.

And then he says something like "different strokes for different folks I guess" and then proceeds to ask what I think


I tell him, and he agrees with me... Next thing, "wyd"

Lmaaaao

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

Break up with him ASAP and let’s someone dat will him be his girlfriend. Women with complaints are like bread and butter

Ishilove:
He might be the olodo boify, who knows

Ishilove this isnt good nah!

Amotolongbo:
Some people are like that, while having a conversation with people, they aren’t so up and sound as they are expected to be. But when they are on their own meditating and strategizing, they come out with a near perfect answers and solutions.

Please don’t tell him bluntly if you know you are tired being with him and wanna quit the relationship. Don’t leave a bad blood behind while saying goodbye

Honestly @dear OP, perhaps you are the swift and sound type in reasoning, while your partner is a very relatively sluggish one in intellectual reasoning, there will surely be problem in synchronizing his response with your question and expectations because he may need extra time to think over it before he can give you the right answer.

Another problem I can see in this kinda relationship is that you seem to be the type that already have and answer to any question you ask your partner and expecting him to give that exact answer you have in mind. No, things don’t work that way. We are all products of different backgrounds, families and environments. This makes us to give different opinions and responses to the same interviews and questions.

You can also help him, developing interest in many fields such as politics, sports, entertainment et al. For example, listening to the news together and watching the news and discussing on political issues together.

True talk

Snipespeter:
This life self, you try to hold a meaningful conversation with your girlfriend she will say that you are claiming you know it all.
You keep quiet for peace to reign, they say you are not smart. I tire oh

Abeg nor come wunjure me with laff jor.

Shebi many women like a guy with no mind of his own, no opinion?
How does conversation affect his cassava or pockets?

So Op wants one that can argue like charge and bail lawyer who can only afford amala at iya Basira buka?

Dey there dey find intellectual. Until post Covid-19 over mature jungle will keep men off marriage track for years to come.

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

No one is 100% perfect, ... You only mentioned 10% and you're like this?

You too should ask him questions to get him talking.... Not leave only the poor guy to keep the conversation interesting.....

If you have any friend male/ female that can fit in the great conversation part, hey no qualms to keep you happy. When he sees you flowing with your friend, he will pick up something.

He may even be an introvert ... Don't worry, since you said he's a great guy, he'll eventually get there

Ariza:
No! she isn't stupid! neither is any other woman concerned for her relationship stupid. We all have reasons why we are dating who we are, if any one , a woman for that matter is feeling unsatisfied in her relationship she isn't stupid for feeling that way or for seeking advice on how to handle it.And if she ends it , she isn't stupid either.
Y'all should learn to respect "choices" , "freedom of expression" and freedom to "make decisions" . She doesn't have to force what she knows it won't last, To her Smartness is a big deal . That she leaves a "good guy" doesn't mean she wouldn't find a good and smart guy. And if she decides to make it work too, well that's her decision .

I wonder why you are so judgemental? And hey if he tells her what isn't good about her, they either work it out or walk out . No one should endure anyone, that's why it's called DATING not MARRIAGE. HAIN!

Very smart lady

Iamgrey5:
Very smart lady

jansonn:
Chai, this life!! And me dey find girl I can discuss politics, nature, medicine and all that intellectual sturvs and all the girls I meet are as dumb as a chicken only Instagram and billing, even the fashion they claim they know and the movies they watch, they can't identify Sylvester stallion, they still call him Rambo for goodness sakes!! Let's chat pls, am really sapiosexual and am done with these "pretty" girls

You are a thief and a cheat. Don't wreck the relationship of the foolish op

Nah, he doesn't love you, chikena!.

If he does, he'll engage you will discussions as much as you want, after all he has friends that he talks a lot with.

So here are the key things to help you understand he's not that into you.

He's doesn't say much together but he's quick and excited when it's time to see you off, or say good night to end a call.

That's the only confirmation..

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

I'm sure you need an Aljazeera boyfriend or CNN. I tire for you

You're dating someone that's Not smart..that would make u??

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

You have everything in him, but na 'discuss continues' be your problem.

What if he is an introvert like me? Maybe he even feels you are not smart enough for him.

That's how I discuss with ladies I feel are not intellectually sound but still want to have a fling with them. I am PhD in molecular medicine by the way, so you can't accuse me of lacking intellect.

cynosuree:
You don't have to be social to be able to contribute intelligently to a conversation. I'm an introvert, not social at all, and I can contribute to pretty much any topic

Here’s your answer: Quit the relationship and save yourself some headaches. Look for someone who is an encyclopaedia of knowledge and pitch your tent with him. Conversation is very important in a relationship and you’ve already hit a road block with your present guy. If that tops the list of your priorities in a relationship, do one thing......QUIT

Amotolongbo:
Some people are like that, while having a conversation with people, they aren’t so up and sound as they are expected to be. But when they are on their own meditating and strategizing, they come out with a near perfect answers and solutions.

Please don’t tell him bluntly if you know you are tired being with him and wanna quit the relationship. Don’t a bad blood behind while saying goodbye

Honestly @dear OP, perhaps you are the swift and sound type in reasoning, while your partner is a very relatively sluggish one in intellectual reasoning, there will surely be problem in synchronizing his with your and expectations because he may need extra time to think over it before he can give you the .

Another problem I can see in this kinda relationship is that you seem to be the type that already have and to any you ask your partner and expecting him to give that exact you have in mind. No, things don’t work that way. We are all products of different backgrounds, families and environments. This makes us to give different opinions and responses to the same interviews and questions.

You can also help him, developing interest in many fields such as politics, sports, entertainment et al. For example, listening to the news together and watching the news and discussing on political issues together.

You're smart.

If you leave him, you might regret your actions all through your stay on earth.

If it borders u so much dat u cant live wit it then bounce

I can be your new boyfriend ma'am...���