₦airaland Forum

SweetCunt97:
Just waybill it

nope... i'm stingy

SweetCunt97:
I hope you people ain't miscontruing my comment. Sge should let it go in the sense that she should stop expecting intelligent convo with him and simply be with him. Another person for intelligent convos could b her girlfriend or sibling.

Believe me, she has already made up her mind.

Wonderful. U registered this account today. Posted your 1st topic. And it made front page.
Too many coincidences.

jansonn:
Chai, this life!! And me dey find girl I can discuss politics, nature, medicine and all that intellectual sturvs and all the girls I meet are as dumb as a chicken only Instagram and billing, even the fashion they claim they know and the movies they watch, they can't identify Sylvester stallion, they still call him Rambo for goodness sakes!! Let's chat pls, am really sapiosexual and am done with these "pretty" girls

See you casting aspersions on ladies, calling them dumb. Boy you can't even tell I'm from am...
Boy Please!

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

op na this same guy toast you? How come you agreed in the first place...dont tell me you dumb yourself. What did you see in him that made you like him.. Abi na money you find go....

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

And also you can’t expect him to fix what he’s not aware of. What if he’s even more sharp than you think but he has not been able to find someone reasonable to hold a good convo with. Another angle. From my experience so far, it’s so difficult to understand women, I’ve come across ladies with different interest. Some want a man that talks a lot while some like someone reserved. So sometimes it takes time to really understand their area of interest and likes so you don’t mess up. But from my own little knowledge. Leaving him without letting him know his flaws might still affect his next relationship. But at least if he knows the things he need to work on, he will know how to work on himself to balance your present relationship or his next relationship. No man is perfect and no man is an island. We learn everyday

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

U joined the forum today.. mtcheeew

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

Your position is what most 9ja guys are facing with their typically daft 9ja girls who know nothing except food, fashion and money..Most of them can't hold any mentally engaging, thought provoking conversations..

I think to solve this issue in a mature way, I recommend you talk to one of his closest friend to advice him get the book titled S . E . X . T . A . P . E . S . by Joe clef .it will help a lot to bring back positive vibes in having a great conversation in the relationship.

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

You are smart girl and there is nothing you can do about it


You just deal with it or leave it

There are several possible explanations
- Maybe the things you want to talk about do not interest him at all.
- Whatever he says will most likely be used against him later
- He does not trust you enough to have "deep" conversations with you
- Finally it is possible you are the unintelligent one in the relationship (with all due respect). As the saying goes "small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events..." Pay close attention to what he likes talking about. Not all guys enjoy talking about politics, sports, gossip or what is trending on social media.

jaxxy:
It is very rare for a human being to not have Smtn to discuss on a topic unless he is an extreme introvert or a docile person or u don’t click or he’s not so into u. Or u haven’t found the right topic that interests him. Start from there.

Does he have conversations with anybody else either physically or on Fone? How long does that take?


Solution: if u having sex with him stop immediately, he wil wake up and smell the coffee. Atleast he will now have a conversation about Smtn to get ur attention even if it’s why no more sex conversation.

I have ended and refused to take a relationships to the next level because of poor conversation. It’s not everytime romance. Smtmes u want to stimulate ur partners thinking and vice Versa. 100% important for me.

This is so true, i ended a relationship because of this too. I was so frustrated. I just felt he kept the converstaion shallow on purpose. Communication is very important. If he can't talk or communicate, so what are we doing? It's crazy.

jeff1607:
A man talks , he talks too much

He doesn't talk , now he isn't intelligent

na wa o

you can't have everything you need in a partner, focus on his strong and attractive attributes.

if it isn't enough let him go

E no intelligent be say e no intelligent. No dey twist am

Hathor5:
Some people would be Melania Trump and not Michelle Obama.

hmmmmm
Pray tell
What is it about Melania Trump and Michelle Obama? I'm curious about your comparison.


BTW, you seem intelligent. I like that.

tell him to start reading books.

Ofadaman:
Nah, he doesn't love you, chikena!.

If he does, he'll engage you will discussions as much as you want, after all he has friends that he talks a lot with.

So here are the key things to help you understand he's not that into you.

He's doesn't say much together but he's quick and excited when it's time to see you off, or say good night to end a call.



That's the only confirmation..

You are so correct, perfect description of my ex. He even told me there is nothing to talk about. As big as this world is, there is not a single thing to talk about? I gave up

athaliya:
It wasn't funny back then, I felt torn between what I want and what I should want

Yeah you are quite right. Truth is that i decided to lower my expectations of people cos i realized that we Africans reason along sentimental and culture lines. 'One way reasoning'.
The average black man is okay with food, shelter, clothing, wine and of course sex. He doesnt want to venture beyond his horizon due to mental laziness. He is intelligent, but doesnt harness his potential.
Many Nigerians are very intelligent but they are scarce commodity.

What if you are the one that switched off from this guy? And you want him to do magic with u guys conversations? Maybe you are the one that have been avoiding his conversations because u believe he doesn't hold conversation long or his not upto ur "level"...

Try and discuss this with ur guy . Maybe u dont discuss things with him rather u preferred telling ur friends so how do u want him to know his weakness and work on them? Because if truly u do discuss personal things with him u wouldn't have published such topic here.
Lemme tell u, when u talk about communication in relationships is not about politics, debates rather about things that concern two of u.

What I knw is that either of u switched off from each other because you stopped telling him your personal stuffs. Such a thing will affect the guy too.

Always remember that a man is also a human being, maybe there are alot of issues or challenges he is facing but u maybe too erratic to give him a listening ear.
Maybe he wanted u to be his best friend but u dont care about him so he switched off.

Maybe u might be a little selfish towards him, he may be asking himself alot of questions about if u truly love him so he switched off.

I think you have alot to work on your self . You believe you are perfect but u are not. You might be the cause of this poor communication stuff.
Also be careful of those that u go for an advice with respect to your relationship.

Remember what works for "A" may not work for "C" in their relationship.

Hold your guy Tight ooo. You are lucky is just the issue of holding conversation for hours . My sister you are blessed to have such a guy. When u listen to other ladies what they are passing through u, will keep quiet and resolve this issue with ur guy. I knw things will work out for two of u.

GOOOGLE504:
He definitely does not have interest in discussing her topics and if at all, not with her. I bet when he brings up his topic of interest eg the ones quoted she wud waive it off with short answers.

OP u nid to find a balance or a new partner
Wud suggest you find a balance because

The Devil wey you sabi pay pass the Angel wey u Neva meet o

Word...

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

/
Maybe you talk too much...

...and he doesn't want to get your radio started.

Is it possible that you are very annoying and he can barely tolerate you?
/

jansonn:
Chai, this life!! And me dey find girl I can discuss politics, nature, medicine and all that intellectual sturvs and all the girls I meet are as dumb as a chicken only Instagram and billing, even the fashion they claim they know and the movies they watch, they can't identify Sylvester stallion, they still call him Rambo for goodness sakes!! Let's chat pls, am really sapiosexual and am done with these "pretty" girls

Abi na. Can you just imagine...... She's the kind of person I'm looking for but I Don search taya... The ones I meet are just plain clueless

guys,hope ya seeing this?it ain't all bout money, looks,sophisticated grammar,gerrit?
have something in ya brain box... even if it's little.

Ariza:
Wait ooooo


Why are guys suddenly looking for intelligent ladies on this thread?

You're the one that have problems with guys, so sad and depressed. We'll always be ally like bread and butter now.

Who said it is too late to leave??
It is not by force to be in a union you're not interested in, leave as soon as you want to. Your opinion is what matters most in dissolving the union not what he feels or thinks.
The flaw you're talking about might not be that bad. How can someone be as intelligent as to be able to do well academically and someone is called such a one dull??
The guy might even be smarter than you and you're only being paranoid. Why not explore his brilliance and intellect, or simply ignore and live with it. Since he's intelligent, you will be making a mistake to leave him.

Ariza:
All this "talk talk " self is tiring me and I'm beginning to think Op just need someone to type out her thoughts/decision for validation.


Like I have typed earlier, no one will hold you if you let the good guy go, It's your Life and your Happiness. But I will hold you and even blast you if you come back here to open thread that touch. Nairalanders aren't the ones to make a decision for you, You are . So whatever comes out of it be ready to bear or enjoy it.

I'm out!

Why wont U get tired. When all yOu know it to type, type, write epistles And essays asif yOu trying to impress Some guys on nairaland with your mauveric writings. Your hands no dey pain you with all those long posts of yours??

cynosuree:
Looking for his replacement, or "better options" when I'm still in a relationship

This is where modernization and keeping in vogue gets us. People will leave the key points of a marriage partner and be focusing on lesome important factors. You already said he is intelligent, he is not good in those areas cos he is not interested. If you have life issues and goals he is intelligent to contribute.

This all issues of tertiary issues of life that people are focusing on makes them give less concern to more important things. Some years back people were made to believe it is about handsome, Prince charming, he sweeps me off my feet, six packs, big english, sporty, fashinista etc not until later it becomes obvious those are not key things.

You don't necessarily needsomeone who is good at your topics as spouse but someone who understands life.

Pretty sure you are under 23 years...

You are the one that is actuallydull, if not he couldhavebeenableto relate things with you
Nsikak.

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

MedicH:
i swear.. to discuss how the carbon and hydrogen atoms arrange themselves comfortably on the 4 corners of a regular tetrahedron in sp3 hybridization
haha

kposhi kposhi

Hi, you seem to love that accord.....

Two words........

DON'T BOTHER........

Lexusgs430:
Hi, you seem to love that accord.....

Two words........

DON'T BOTHER........

what do u know about accords?