My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. - Romance (9)

My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. - Romance (9) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Romance › My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. (74744 Views)

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Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by iwatch: 11:43pm On Jun 10, 2020

Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my him' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.

Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

I am going to advice you as a sister. Move on if you are not comfortable with the arrangement. Stick to what you want. IF he values you, if how you describe yourself here is what you really are, then it is his loss.

2 Likes

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by ladyGKilaBCrueD(f): 11:44pm On Jun 10, 2020

very stupid girl that wants to useless her life

shawnfamous:
I would suggest u become the baby mama that he craves for.. and stop crying over it.

Since u people don't have sense to think about what u want for ur lives.. I will keep on giving you mumu responses.

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Raalsalghul: 11:44pm On Jun 10, 2020

uthlaw:
because he love her,he should sacrifice is freedom!

I wonder!

7 Likes

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Naijaarchive(m): 11:45pm On Jun 10, 2020

suaveBrother:
... a girl heard a boys mind speak ...

... a girl must learn to give a boy space ...

..... ... a girl is confused

2 Likes

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Nobody: 11:48pm On Jun 10, 2020

Poseidon000:
Now, this is rich

I have Lived abroad for some years now.
I don't see reasons why ONE should marry a LADY and her entire Family.
When I visited Owerri, I spent time with a Nigerian Colleague of mine who is based in Nigeria.
He told me how he has been catering for the needs of his wives relatives. Yet he is being insulted with impunity by his Wife.
In Fact, his In Laws go to work from his apartment.
His Mother In Law lives with them.
I asked him about his own MOTHER.
He said his MOM is in the VILLAGE.
I cursed that DAY and left that place.
This happens in almost every Nigerian Home.
Yet no RESPECT for these MEN.

My PARENTS in Law have their apartment, they rarely visits us except when I call for such because they are also busy.
She and her husband train other CHILDREN of theirs.
They know their RESPONSIBILITY.
In, NIGERIA, MARRIAGES drain LIFE out of young men, who end up becoming tenants in their own houses.
Some get insulted by In Laws who live with them.
Menh....!!
That's Crazy...!

16 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Small080(m): 11:50pm On Jun 10, 2020

I don't know why you girls behave as if you are doing us favour when we ask you for sex.... grin

you don't know we are the one doing you favour by getting married to you..... What bad in baby mama....
The guy want freedom.... I can do the same o, thank God am still single grin

Always afraid of getting married self grin

11 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Confusedgirl869(op): 11:55pm On Jun 10, 2020

EVILFOREST:
REAL BULLSHIT my BROTHER
since I married my WIFE, my Brothers In Law and Sisters In Law do not know my Apartment.
We Live in the US.
Everyone minds his or her business.
If you squat a relative here, he or she contributes to Upkeep. Nothing like BURDEN...

WAKE UP GUYS....
Don't marry a BURDEN that will eventually threaten you with DEATH...

You are a very silly man sir, you go about insulting Nigerian women on every thread, you think marriage is all about sharing bills? What of giving your husband peace of mind? I work and can easily share bills with my husband. Should I burst your stupid bubbles? My man is afraid of marriage because he was once in it, with a WHITE lady, she made his life a living hell, he nearly died. That fear is still in him.

I have decided to let him go though. He is a very good man reason I am finding it hard to let go.

Just stop generalizing.

6 Likes

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by chemgee: 11:56pm On Jun 10, 2020

knowhowk:
Anything is not for Everything .Whether we agree with it or not it's not every man that would Marry .It's quite wrong to Label Men that don't wanna Marry as Bad ,If Marriage is for you go ahead if you don't want to it's your personal decision ,Your life .@op The guy has made His Point clear ,He does not want Marriage ,You want Marriage ,So it's two different things ,Find another man that want what you want " Marriage " It's as simple as that .You read some Nonsense Comments where Men that decided not to marry are Label as Irresponsible ,Irresponsible my foot ,Mentioning your guy has a plan to marry another girl is a Crap ,Avoid all that Stupid comments pls. Tthere are men for real that does not have any plans for Marriage ,Yes ,All they wanted to meet a Lady who is willing to have kids for them ,they take care of the Baby Responsibilities and that of the Lady for taking care of the Baby that is all . Its a free world ,If Million of men can cope with a Nagging ,Stubborn ,Uneasy to be advised and uncontrolled woman in Marriage there are some that never wanted to go through that Journey at all ,Life is short ,Whatever that pleases anyone rocks .A Visit to Customary and Magistrate Court where you listened to Several Divorces cases and statements made by Couples that lived together for years are very disgusting .Many are in the Grave due to the Evils experienced in Marriage .Not getting married or getting married is never a certificate for Happiness but I tell you ,Many are still in Marriage for the sake of there kids not for Happiness sake .Abeg Dem no dey take Marriage enter Heaven ,If you can cope with Ladies for marriage go ahead ,if not abeg enjoy your Freedom Kate .Marriage or no Marriage life na short .

I had butterflies coming out of my stomach reading this comment...
I live in a compound were i am the only single guy, meeeen b4 God and man i HATE wat i see and hear every blessed day: Fighting, deception, pretence, lies, stress.. Most of the men purposely (bcoz I don't buy that traffic jam shit) come back late at night, then on sunday morning they will wear matching clothes to go to church...

I ve learned more from my compound than any marriage seminar will wanna bullshit me with "they all lived happily ever after" HorseShit cry

12 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by libertyfather(m): 11:56pm On Jun 10, 2020

Boredasf:
So you want him to sacrifice his freedom by marrying you abi
Abeg shift!!!

That young man is wise for not wifeing you up.
Marriage benefits Women not men.

I sincerely hope more men adopt this philosophy.
You women don't deserve marriage.
Any man that decides to marry any woman in this 21st century should know that he is doing her a HUGE favor!

Very huge favour....marriage is a scam, I repeat marriage is a scam, wish I had know earlier

10 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Boss13: 11:57pm On Jun 10, 2020

woodsbeatrice30:
Are properties shared in Nigerian marriages when divorce happens?did best man for a friend and I did not think I saw something like that..Please enlighten me..

This depends and can be decided by the court. However, many marriages in Nigeria still follow customary rules and many divorces do not end up in courts.

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by LedRock: 11:59pm On Jun 10, 2020

Swinger60:
I only have one question though.

Biko, how is marriage favouring only women in Nigeria?

The same Nigeria marriage I see women contribute 50% of financial, emotional, spiritual support and yet, still remain submissive, loving,
faithful and respectful to the man.

To poster, look for a man who wants what you want.

What's the big deal about marriage sef? If not for society pressure, most women will not want to get married.

Then women should accept the babymama offers, that would be the best for the sexes.

7 Likes

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by humilitypays(m): 11:59pm On Jun 10, 2020

Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my him' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.

Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

eh yaaah, this life sha, everyday I see reasons why it's not easy being a single woman, honestly it's not easy.

But op, the truth is, so many guys nowadays, especially the ones doing well financially are scared of marriage. Some of the things discouraging Nigerian men from marriage today are:

1.) Feminism and all those gender equality stuffs asking men to be cooking and cleaning house, yeah it sounds cool and civilised but an African man who is financially successful will never want to continue doing that after getting married, maybe the broke romantic boys can, and the surprising American Naija guys who want to be like Obama can too.

2.) Social Media: the stories one read everyday about marriage, ladies and their wayward lifestyle now and other pathetic news can make one scared.

3.) Trend: babymama thing seems trendy for financially buoyant guys, so some scared single guys who used to be playboys maybe scared of karma in marriage, so they try to avoid marriage in order to outsmart karma grin

4.) Financial Success: if you are a guy above 30yrs and you are financially successful, you will be enjoying a lot of attention and love offerings from ladies of different age, class and background and the thought of losing that sweet freedom can keep a guy single for too long. Like me, it took the special grace of God and my parents continuous pestering for me to settle down, maybe if not, I for still de single cry

8 Likes

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by medolab90(m): 12:00am On Jun 11, 2020

Hmmm......At the end women don't get married to who dey love but who is ready.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Nobody: 12:02am On Jun 11, 2020

Confusedgirl869:
You are a very silly man sir, you go about insulting Nigerian women on every thread, you think marriage is all about sharing bills? What of giving your husband peace of mind? I work and can easily share bills with my husband. Should I burst your stupid bubbles? My man is afraid of marriage because he was once in it, with a white lady, she made his life a living hell, he nearly died. That fear is still in him.

I have decided to let him go though. He is a very good man reason I am finding it hard to let go.

Thank you for addressing me as SIR but won't insult u like u did to me because u are pained by his decision.
I always attack misconception
The TRUTH is bitter.
I didn't ask anyone to marry a white Lady in this Topic but if a man sees a responsible WHITE LADY, then good.
White Ladies can also be frustrating.
We know what MEN go through in diaspora.
I detest a Lazy Man.
.... and I also detest any LADY who never appreciates a hardworking man rather she turns out to frustrate the man with burdens and insults yet does no work but sit at home.
You find such LADIES in Nigeria in enormous numbers.
...And I know you wouldn't advise your BROTHER to settle for such. The Good thing is that you have a JOB, but he is afraid because LADIES are killing their MEN now....so you have to put more effort to convince him.

6 Likes

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Idzitari1(m): 12:03am On Jun 11, 2020

Wasn't his reply enough for u. He don't want to get married to u all he want ar some bastard. Let me tell u the gospel truth that guy don't really need u he is a pretender. Pack ur bags nd move on before is too late

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by petitejolie(f): 12:07am On Jun 11, 2020

Hmmmn its hard o but u need to go for someone who shares same values as u. If u force that guy to marry u, u will have to face d consequences. He is even open nd truthful to you sef. Give him a break

Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my him' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.

Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Olakunleyakub(m): 12:07am On Jun 11, 2020

You claimed you can't afford to loose him and yet you don't want to be a baby mama? Can sum1 be dead and alive at the same time?hell no, you cant eat ur cake and have it..you don't want ur kids to grow up in different homes and yet you are towing a part of destruction that can cause a total dissaray to the future of ur unborn children.
Let me tell you all this stupid love that shacking you against sum1 that can't build a good home and family with you will soon fade off and reality wil set in that is when you realiase that love does not keep a marriage. Have you even bother to know the deep reason why you grew up in different homes? Marriage is a complex institution and I will never advice my greatest enemy to rush in not to talk of pushing yourself on a guy who is not ready to marry you den where is your self worth and dignity? Women are brought up not to be too desperate with guys den why ur own case is different when you have all the tools and qualities to meet other better men. I think you are giving a Bleep where Bleep are not meant to be giving. So unfortunate that most of us struggle throughout our lives by giving a Bleep in a situations where Bleep do not deserve to be given meanwhile that those moments of non fuckery are the time that most defined our lives. There are many times have given a Bleep and many times I do not give a Bleep depending on the situations.
Never give a Bleep to relegate him and move on with your life since you have different marital visions..forever is too long for you to be unhappy or vulnerable to any man. if you don't consider anything pls consider ur future children and leave that man unless he changes his decision truly but if you are still blindfolded with love and allow him to impregnate you without resolving this issues den I can tell you that it is definately going to end in premium tears.

Dicktion:
Naija men are now afraid of Naija ladies hence, the fear for marriage

Imagine someone unknowingly and unfortunately gets tied forever to a lady like millenniumlady or sweetcunt97
Even your village people will pray for your soul

1 Like

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by olaniyilukman(m): 12:09am On Jun 11, 2020

What exactly do our Naija ladies benefits from this marriage of a thing. Marriage is only beneficial to ladies not to we men, how do you expect me to sacrifice my freedom just because I want to give you a ring, how dumbfounded does that sound.. I don't see anything special in that marriage you people are shouting up and down. That guy is my type and we have similar features.. To hell with marriage

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Olakunleyakub(m): 12:14am On Jun 11, 2020

Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my him' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.

Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Tsolutionifede(m): 12:17am On Jun 11, 2020

Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my him' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.

Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

leave the guy and come to me, the guy is not serious, but na Npower be only source of my income o, hope u can cope

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by woodsbeatrice30: 12:19am On Jun 11, 2020

Alexaonfleek:
ha ha
Lols
You wan make she dey waste her time abi?
Who no like better thing!!!
Pls ooo.
If I see any big guy to marry,I go cling to am ooo.

There is no time wastage jooo..which yeye time wastage..Me just want to enjoy life..Btw,Me sef I be Big boy make we dey play with each other naa...I like that yansh of yours..would love to touch and feel it baby girl.. tongue

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Nobody: 12:19am On Jun 11, 2020

olaniyilukman:
What exactly do our Naija ladies benefits from this marriage of a thing. Marriage is only beneficial to ladies not to we men, how do you expect me to sacrifice my freedom just because I want to give you a ring, how dumbfounded does that sound.. I don't see anything special in that marriage you people are shouting up and down. That guy is my type and we have similar features.. To hell with marriage

MOST NIGERIAN MEN are dying untimely.
Their MOTHERS now advise them regularly.
I spoke with one MaMa and she confided same thing to me. That what's wrong with Nowadays Ladies that they can't tolerate Nigerian Men again.

That MEN are MEN.
That her worst MAN is a Lazy Man just as depicted in the BIBLE.
LADIES go through their husbands' phones at Night and end up becoming WIDOWS in the morning by stabbing them to death.

Look Well before you LEAP.
Use that money meant for MARRIAGE to acquire a Landed Property somewhere.
LANDS appreciate faster than NOWADAYS MARRIAGES
Enough of all these.

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Nobody: 12:19am On Jun 11, 2020

libertyfather:
Very huge favour....marriage is a scam, I repeat marriage is a scam, wish I had know earlier

Marriage is the biggest scam known to man. Only the lady benefits.

At the boldfaced, it's never too late to do what makes you happy. Life is too short to remain in a miserable union

4 Likes

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by MNDY(m): 12:20am On Jun 11, 2020

Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my him' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.

Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

Men fear marriage because they see how women don't give their husbands PEACE OF MIND.

Yeah, I had to capitalize that. PEACE OF MIND AND STABILITY is what every man needs in a marriage.

It is very important for any man. He is scared you may be pretending to be nice and when you both get tired of yourselves in marriage, you would start troubling him, driving him to an early grave.

He is seeing how it happens with married couples around and fears it would be his fate too.

7 Likes

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Alexaonfleek: 12:22am On Jun 11, 2020

woodsbeatrice30:
There is no time wastage jooo..which yeye time wastage..Me just want to enjoy life..Btw,Me sef I be Big boy make we dey play with each other naa...I like that yansh of yours..would love to touch and feel it baby girl..

Looks are quite receiving,you know!
It's not even as fine as it looks in pic.

1 Like

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Nobody: 12:22am On Jun 11, 2020

Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my him' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.

Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

Sense is far from u.

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by danilmo: 12:25am On Jun 11, 2020

Amhappy:
Go and watch the movie baggage claim. Never settle for a baby mama. All the best.

Don't b emotionally scared about it.. This method of relationship looks somehow creative. no stress, no tie down, freedom, no fear and it doesn't stop them from staying in same house to raise their kid together which op is scared of.

The freedom it brings,

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by lighternote: 12:27am On Jun 11, 2020

Very simple matter - tell him exactly what you want and do what you want. You're an adult.
If you want to be his baby mama, grab the offer, after all Chioma Davido and Annie Idibia are role models.
If you want to be his wife, tell him that you want to be his wife and you're afraid of being a baby mama.
If you don't want him or neither of his shit, flee now. wink

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by andyanders: 12:28am On Jun 11, 2020*

Op,op,op, how many times did I call you? If you want to live long, call off this your so called luv of a thing you have with your boyfriend who ONLY sees you as a baby mama, than a human being, born by a woman.

What will you tell your mother? Are you that old not not to find love again? It will be to your best interest to call it off, though it will be painful, but you will get healed with time. Stop every sex things with him and stay away. If he comes back begging, he will still dump you later in life.

Note, don't marry out of sympathy, as you will end up miserable for the rest of your life.

Take a clue from the life of most celebrities whom I don't want to mention. He will be having many of you having babies for him in future.

I believe he has other ladies aside you,that you know nothing about.

Were is your sense of reasoning after he dropped the bomb of a thing for the baby mama to you and you still see him as a perfect gentleman, who you want to spend your life with?

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by desthan(m): 12:31am On Jun 11, 2020

He is not afraid of any marriage. He just does nor see a future with you. There is another person in his life.
You need to spread your wings and fly away. Don't clog his space.

1 Like

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Xmen149(m): 12:31am On Jun 11, 2020

Confusedgirl869:
Hmmm Thank you sir.

you made mistake from the beginning. what type of relationship did both of you sign in for or you want to be the only one that wants the rule to change in the middle of the game.

if he said date then date and leave when ua tired. if you had made your wants clear from beginning in the relationship and him his you both would have known the compatibility thing within 1month

it's now you have decided to be clear on ur want only to find out its his opposite and u feel boxed.tell ur mind he owes you nothing which he actually doesn't the game is his at this point.

stop telling ur mind you cnt meet no good man.them plenty else you are still enjoying your 50shades of gray.

Dnt convince him ,he never promised you marriage the very day he said those is the day the relationship ended .

Go back into the labor market. and when you meet a man be bold enough to state what you want and ask him to state he's . you don't have time oh.

this thread should only exist if you have already made up your mind to be a baby mama apart from that it dsnt make sense

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by danilmo: 12:32am On Jun 11, 2020

rosalieene:
You're the only one to suffer the stigma of being a baby mama not him.
dont let him coerce you because of love. dont deliberately become a baby mama to please a man.
indeed, if you try it, you will disgrace your family.
Its not about now but future. in future, he might marry someone else while leaving you his baby mama and ofcourse give excuses.
love yourself first.... sheybi its love? most of us have at one Time loved someone so much but today, we have no iota of feelings for them as we broke up with them. Leave the confused young man, soon you would meet someone else you would love as much, who loves you in return and ready to walk down the aisle with you.

see emotion shouldn't overul reality. what abt the guy who ll b a baby daddy..Most of my female professors aren't married. they only have kid. And no one is stigmatising them.. life na jeje o..

Don't know y I'm seeing things from op boyfriend side though. at least he's acting responsibly for her.

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