₦airaland Forum

ModestGal:
Well, I didn't want to talk before, though I'm not married, but with this thread, Nigerian men are so unreasonable, all they think about is sex. When their mates are making money, rubbish thread with comments

sex is the topic here

SweetCunt97:
Plus the stress of working. I doubt it's advisable to fvck like rabbit when a man gets older because of hbp. True or false?

False.
Sex is exercise too.
But if you are above 50 and have a cardiac condition(Hypertension,Heart failure etc),you are advised to take it easy.

[quote author=Funkyswagzz post=91126410]Look b4 u leap my friend before u say I made a mistake getting married to her.. there are loads of women out there who are willing to give u sex anytime any day as far u keep her happy. Don't mind that guy he is the one who put himself in that mess. [/quote


do understand d thread at all

Joyfulgal:
Do you think it will correct the increasing cases of rape?

That I don't know. A proper study showing the motive, circumstances and other factors should be known before coming to any conclusion.

OsuIgboIpob:
And what do you think about?
How to get down with the guy making money?

Stupîd mentality...

These kind of issues are rare with western world women. The women are more sexually active. Maybe circumcision plays a huge part in this anomaly. I just hope Nigerians are still not indulging in female genital mutilation?

Blitzerz:
Our forefathers didn't have wives with one tenth of the education and exposure the women of today have.

So, are you saying polygamy is an uneducated thing to do?
Well, in truth more civilization support the idea of polygamy and practice it than those who don't, would you say they are all not educated?
the exposure you refer to is the Western exposure and influence and not from other cultures, it's what led to the abandonment of our own culture itself. Not that some of them shouldn't be abandoned though.

4ckz:
I will really need the input of married men and women on this thread.

So yesterday at the bar, you know, ashawo bar, I sat in the same table with a married man, looked early 40's to me. He got drunk and got all chit chat with me.

He told me that he actually picked up ashawo life style after marriage, told me his wife always used sex as a bargaining chip early in their marriage, and often looked for the slightest reason not to have sex.

He said his first time cheating was after his first child, that his wife refused his touch for more than 3 months, he got to cheat with one of his colleagues at work (lest I forget, the man is well learned and rich too, I could get this from his fluency in English and his car).

The affair almost cost him his marriage. When mata cast, everyone blamed him, but he couldn't tell them how his wife deprived him of sex. He was later forgiven by the wife and the marriage continued.

According to him, before long the wife went back to her style of sexual deprivation, was only active when they wanted children. He did mention that he doesn't think the wife cheated, he has monitored her, and as far as he could tell, the wife was an always at home type of woman, and according to him was a good woman apart from the sex thing.

Before long he went back to cheating again, and that was when he started ashawo life style, he choose not to have a relationship with anyone again because of the threat it posed to his marriage.

He said he is sure his wife knows of his ashawo life style, but never talked about it for the sake of peace, and he has been living like that for more than 10 yrs, and their sex life though not dead comes once in a while, few times in a year.

He advised me that if I should cheat, that I should never keep a relationship with anyone, that I should try as much as possible to make it just about sex. Me that's planning to never cheat on my wife.

So married men, do your wives ever keep you for months without sex?

Also do husbands deprive their wives of sex?

I don't think I can even bear 1 month without, like, I must be lashing my wife like thrice a week to say the least. I am much more scared that since my life is like this now, maybe cheating would be inevitable for me.

So married people, how do you deal with sexual deprivation from your spouse, and is it even possible not to cheat?

What of the health threat to your spouse that comes with it?

see dis 1... ve been without puna since February i no die and that doesn't also give me the basis to go cheat outside my marriage... This cheating of a tin no be for everyone

Roon9:
My wedding is Saturday. All these kind stories scares me

Sit her down and discuss all these things that scare you now oo.
Extract a promise,if possible, written from her.
Women pretend a lot b4 getting married and demand they say thing they claim doesn't matter immediately after tying the knot.

that woman they Bleep somewhere, I can bet with my testes..

phemmyfour:
polygamy doesn't cure cheating. Men with many wives do cheat as well. There is this pleasure they derive in eating what does not belong to them

The latter captivated me

Funkyswagzz:
Look b4 u leap my friend before u say I made a mistake getting married to her.. there are loads of women out there who are willing to give u sex anytime any day as far u keep her happy. Don't mind that guy he is the one who put himself in that mess.

women change after marriage bro.. When they have nothing else to prove.

AreaFada2:
At times it's not about compatibility.

People can be compatible when dating and make effort to satisfy bf/gf. But that change when they become "shairman/shairwoman" after wedding.

Childbirth can also change the dynamics. Lots of women shift attention to the baby or kids. Even men do it. All the spontaneous "things" of before disappear. People's libido might just reduce over time.

Let's also face it, people do fall out of love. Marriage is no panacea to being in love perpetually.

In many cases, love was never really there but marriage was done to tick one of the "must do" boxes of life. The initial excitement might initially keeps sex going but later wears off.

The biggest obstacle is a partner not knowing or accepting that something is wrong. That way seeking professional therapy becomes difficult.

We are Africans trying to live as Europeans. No polygamy, no elders stepping in to advise, etc. Your pastor is now more trusted to intervene because he says God anointed him. Often without the expertise or understanding of social or cultural background of the couple.

It's a time of flux for Africans. Challenging days are ahead in virtually all facets of life.

Well, polygamy doesn't reduce cheating. Or is there any study that shows the reduction of cheating amongst polygamous families compared to their monogamous counterparts? Regarding family members, they are not any different from pastors. Maybe the spiritual aspect, that's all.

4ckz:
You think it's right that sex is a weapon and bargaining cheap in marriage?

My own is, I will never beg my wife for sex, impossible!
Once she starts it, I would let her be, but what comes after it, I will never feel guilty of.

same as me oga infact I will even tell her not to worry that she must be very tired after work today, she need to rest. In her mind she’s already doing a 10 countdown to when I pickup my keys and zoom out the gate lol.

4ckz:
You think it's right that sex is a weapon and bargaining cheap in marriage?

My own is, I will never beg my wife for sex, impossible!
Once she starts it, I would let her be, but what comes after it, I will never feel guilty of.

Nuff said boi. . . Louder!!!!

jaxxy:
I understand Bt these gals mix with all sorts of guys u don’t need all that. Yes it’s a phase bt phase out of it asap not when Ure ready to marry or even have a gf. I wud rather be celibate or have an uncommitted relationship than patronize a hooker. Whether here or even outside the country. I see it as a dirty habit or maybe it’s not just my thing. I never really liked it.

See,sex is a primitive urge just like d urge to spread out you hands to protect the rest of the body during a fall.Have you wondered how even animals get d urge and know where to put it?
Now,with social media,skimpy dressing by women etc,the mind of a male is constantly reminded of sex.
A married man/woman should get it at worst,once a week.
Nigerian women tend to make sex a man thing b/c they have commercialized something that should be enjoyed by both couples and use it as a bargaining chip,so even in marriage, they erroneously feel they're doing d man a favor.
I have married female colleagues who have healthy sexual appetites and tell me "even if we de quarrel, he must get it up make I collect my thing,after we go resume the quarrel ".
Forget about Nigerian women, they are so used to using sex as a fund raising activity and bargaining chip that they block their minds to the fact that it is an enjoyable act and carry the mentality into marriage.
If you see any man here saying anything on d contrary just know he isn't married yet.

Lorenzop:
Best comment so far, told my babe point blank to her face... I will never beg you for sex...yet I will give you the respect you deserve but you see sex....I will never ever beg for it. Most guys don't know that the day you beg your woman for sex is the day you have given the power to bargain with it but when you don't beg for it....she will have no option than to comply provided you don't cheat o

What if she doesn't complp for 1 year +

ModestGal:
This is why I tell girls to have something good that brings in money, get well educated, do things you are passionate about that brings you happiness.
Don't ever rely all your HAPPINESS on a man and don't ever MARRY a ugly man (ugly here means features you wouldn't like to see in your children), infact, you can go check up his family to be sure they do not have traits you dislike too much, because at the end of the day, your children MATTERS MOST, and think of the joy that would come out of having pretty children, it would make you forget anything that their father would have done to hurt you and people would think you have a happy home since they will not hear you fight or shout, thats the secret of some happy women. People would be saying she doesn't fight, she's calm, she doesn't nag, even your relative go love you die because when they visit, you will be giving them original smile and some gifts. Dress well, look good, use nice perf, Your blood pressure would be normal, even your husband go love you, yes, they are not too reasonable specie, He would be saying my wife is beautiful, calm, quiet, infact I'm just blessed to marry her,she doesn't give me any problem

The truth is that what some men want is to keep women in sadness and for them to be happy about it. Its so obvious childbirth, pregnancy, is not an easy thing for women, but just for them to endure for 3months till you are very healthy after childbirth is a problem for them, meanwhile you endured for 9 months to bring child for both of you, and even endured labour pains.

Men are just too selfish, if you dont have a child and giving them nonstop sex, they will still complain, if you do they will complain, if you don't want to run into depression, please do what I have said.

Some husbands are so selfish that when they wrong you, you should happily still give them your body. Imagine after getting hurt so bad by a man, the man still want you to happily give sex in the night of that day, are women ROBOTS?
This thread is so full of rubbish talks picking on women, as a woman, you should please wise up.

I'm 100% against full housewifes, 100% against women not getting good education because some men could run you crazy, and if at that time you are nothing, its possible you run mad.
My friend who is a clinical psychologist once told me highest number of his patients are women and most of the problems are caused by their husbands treatment.
If you are empowered as a woman, you will easily heal from such hurts and redirect your energy to something else like your children, your work when men misbehave, by that, your depression would be minimal and you would be healthy enough to take care of your children. A word is enough for the wise.

Are you saying if a man is hurt he should stay away from his responsibilities?
You said this, "Some husbands are so selfish that when they wrong you, you should happily still give them your body. Imagine after getting hurt so bad by a man, the man still want you to happily give sex in the night of that day, are women ROBOTS?"
So men are robots to endure, get insulted & bear bulk of the expenses (I'm talking about responsible men ooo)
My dear, some women enjoy being manipulative, they do not want equality but assume control
Their happiness is what's optimal in the home but not that of their partners
How would you say she'll deny her hubby cos she's not happy?
How can a human perfectly make you happy even from the human pov GOD doesn't make us happy all the time
However, nothing justifies adultery

4ckz:
I will really need the input of married men and women on this thread.

So yesterday at the bar, you know, ashawo bar, I sat in the same table with a married man, looked early 40's to me. He got drunk and got all chit chat with me.

He told me that he actually picked up ashawo life style after marriage, told me his wife always used sex as a bargaining chip early in their marriage, and often looked for the slightest reason not to have sex.

He said his first time cheating was after his first child, that his wife refused his touch for more than 3 months, he got to cheat with one of his colleagues at work (lest I forget, the man is well learned and rich too, I could get this from his fluency in English and his car).

The affair almost cost him his marriage. When mata cast, everyone blamed him, but he couldn't tell them how his wife deprived him of sex. He was later forgiven by the wife and the marriage continued.

According to him, before long the wife went back to her style of sexual deprivation, was only active when they wanted children. He did mention that he doesn't think the wife cheated, he has monitored her, and as far as he could tell, the wife was an always at home type of woman, and according to him was a good woman apart from the sex thing.

Before long he went back to cheating again, and that was when he started ashawo life style, he choose not to have a relationship with anyone again because of the threat it posed to his marriage.

He said he is sure his wife knows of his ashawo life style, but never talked about it for the sake of peace, and he has been living like that for more than 10 yrs, and their sex life though not dead comes once in a while, few times in a year.

He advised me that if I should cheat, that I should never keep a relationship with anyone, that I should try as much as possible to make it just about sex. Me that's planning to never cheat on my wife.

So married men, do your wives ever keep you for months without sex?

Also do husbands deprive their wives of sex?

I don't think I can even bear 1 month without, like, I must be lashing my wife like thrice a week to say the least. I am much more scared that since my life is like this now, maybe cheating would be inevitable for me.

So married people, how do you deal with sexual deprivation from your spouse, and is it even possible not to cheat?

What of the health threat to your spouse that comes with it?

The woman knows her husband can’t get her cheating but mark my word with my life, she’s getting the sex from another man.

She’s acting that way “will have sex only when they want a child” as a way of making him believe his the father of their children, I pity the man, what she’s doing is when the side boy finishes or off-load his sperm inside her she comes home and request for sex knowing throughly well that she has being depriving her husband sex, he will jump on her and next thing, she will announce “am pregnant”

Men who’s trust their wives, hardly survive in life.
The secret to marriage, NEVER TRUST YOUR WIFE IN ANYTHING COS SHE CAN CHEAT MORE THAN YOU, RAPE, MOLEST AND SEXUALLY ABUSE A MALE CHILD BUT NEVER LET THE CAT OUT OF THE BAG.

Just be watching, recording and keeping dates and time of all events.

Men be wise.

4ckz:
I will really need the input of married men and women on this thread.

So yesterday at the bar, you know, ashawo bar, I sat in the same table with a married man, looked early 40's to me. He got drunk and got all chit chat with me.

He told me that he actually picked up ashawo life style after marriage, told me his wife always used sex as a bargaining chip early in their marriage, and often looked for the slightest reason not to have sex.

He said his first time cheating was after his first child, that his wife refused his touch for more than 3 months, he got to cheat with one of his colleagues at work (lest I forget, the man is well learned and rich too, I could get this from his fluency in English and his car).

The affair almost cost him his marriage. When mata cast, everyone blamed him, but he couldn't tell them how his wife deprived him of sex. He was later forgiven by the wife and the marriage continued.

According to him, before long the wife went back to her style of sexual deprivation, was only active when they wanted children. He did mention that he doesn't think the wife cheated, he has monitored her, and as far as he could tell, the wife was an always at home type of woman, and according to him was a good woman apart from the sex thing.

Before long he went back to cheating again, and that was when he started ashawo life style, he choose not to have a relationship with anyone again because of the threat it posed to his marriage.

He said he is sure his wife knows of his ashawo life style, but never talked about it for the sake of peace, and he has been living like that for more than 10 yrs, and their sex life though not dead comes once in a while, few times in a year.

He advised me that if I should cheat, that I should never keep a relationship with anyone, that I should try as much as possible to make it just about sex. Me that's planning to never cheat on my wife.

So married men, do your wives ever keep you for months without sex?

Also do husbands deprive their wives of sex?

I don't think I can even bear 1 month without, like, I must be lashing my wife like thrice a week to say the least. I am much more scared that since my life is like this now, maybe cheating would be inevitable for me.

So married people, how do you deal with sexual deprivation from your spouse, and is it even possible not to cheat?

What of the health threat to your spouse that comes with it?

Ashawo bar dey open for this lock down

Funkyswagzz:
There must be a problem somewhere and that is what u have to find out. If shes not cooperative enuf just get a second wife. Trust me she will get tired of her film tricks

Create the conditions for sex and your wife will show you that there is a school of sex within every woman. A man can have sex tired, constipated, or hungry - a woman not so much. This is is not book work, this is experience old enough to birth anyone here who is under 35.

People will always have anecdotes, but take the weight off her feet and she will take the stress off you. If you can't do this for now, stay single and date a 'five years to marry' girl.

Cherez:
Are you saying if a man is hurt he should stay away from his responsibilities?
You said this, "Some husbands are so selfish that when they wrong you, you should happily still give them your body. Imagine after getting hurt so bad by a man, the man still want you to happily give sex in the night of that day, are women ROBOTS?"
So men are robots to endure, get insulted & bear bulk of the expenses (I'm talking about responsible men ooo)
My dear, some women enjoy being manipulative, they do not want equality but assume control
Their happiness is what's optimal in the home but not that of their partners
How would you say she'll deny her hubby cos she's not happy?
How can a human perfectly make you happy even from the human pov GOD doesn't make us happy all the time
However, nothing justifies adultery

Money is different from body, if someone hurts you, you feel weak all over the body, you feel angry, uneasy etc. Have you ever seen a woman who is angry and doesn't cook? No, we still cook and do other responsibilities, but you don't expect sex in the midnight after hurting a human being, not a ROBOT.
If you are saying the woman is not cooking, sweeping, taking care of the children due to having been hurt or quarrels with husband, then I would agree with you, but this case, the body which manifest the mind

ume1000:
Q? What would I do if my wife deprive me of sex ,or uses it as a weapon

Answer : I would not only cheat but bring whoever am cheating with to the house

What if she's the 2 can play the game type of woman. She brings her home boyfriend too.

steveekeoma:
it seems i concur with u. For a woman to deprives her husband sex upto 3months without having medical issues, that woman has alternative sexual pleasure.

Not always true..
A lot of women are practically frigid(possible genital mutilation) but will pretend to keep a boyfriend or marriageable man.
The real picture comes out during marriage.
But my own is,even if you are frigid or freezer sef,open d damn legs at reasonable intervals for your husband,most married man aren't even asking for mind blowing sex,they just want to ejaculate and clear d sexual tension then face the hustle by tomorrow with a clear head.

misreal:
Well.ayam not yet married, but i have warned my babe that she must never deny me of it oh

You know how caterpillar later changes to Butterfly?
It's not a choice.
Women change.
Know it now before you marry and be prepared.

ModestGal:
Money is different from body, if someone hurts you, you feel weak all over the body, you feel angry, uneasy etc. Have you ever seen a woman who is angry and doesn't cook? No, we still cook and do other responsibilities, but you don't expect sex in the midnight after hurting a human being, not a ROBOT.
If you are saying the woman is not cooking, sweeping, taking care of the children due to having been hurt or quarrels with husband, then I would agree with you, but this case, the body which manifest the mind

Truly, I understand people are different & you may be more reasonable than I am here
But as well for the man his ego is more important but he still bears his responsibilities and hardly you still hear same man won't engage in sex if the woman wants it
My dear, I'm the last guy who would take drugs, energy drinks, local aphrodisiac to boost sex (I'm still single so I don't even have time) but when you go out and see how men drink all sorts of mixtures and even codeine & when you ask they'll simply say, "madam wants a marathon"
Why can't women just brace up sometimes and help balance marriage?
I'm single & after enduring all these tempting ladies, I get married and this is the story I'll face?
I'm getting scared coni don't wanna cheat by any means
You're hurt discuss with your hubby & if not for big offenses try and live mutually
Marriage isn't all about one person but the 2

My wife deprived me of sex so much. My side chicks always beg me for Sex. Sometimes she calls me that she’s feeling honey. They I should come sex her. My wife never does that.

Those wey get a wife nor know wetin dey.
Our forefathers get sense pass these so called smart modern men wey women dey use sex as bargaining chip.
Monogamy wey dey make larger percentage of women pompous and wan control their men die.
Most monogamous homes,na woman na get sex rooster or timetable.
With my money!
I nor send....
happy with my two...

Emmanuelcann:
Sex as a weapon and bargaining chip, it's inevitable! Do you expect that things will always be smooth and rosy in a marriage? No? So do you expect that a woman will be happy to engage in love making with a husband who has offended her one way or another?
Marriage for a man is a time to learn that you can't always have what you want - unless you are a polygamist. Learn self control!

And sex deprivation is best way to settle any issue? Do a fact check please sex should be used in times of conflict for marriage

Instead of suffering the way he is, why not marry another wife, I can't find a law stopping him, the first wife head will correct, things like this make me hate court marriages

4ckz:
I will really need the input of married men and women on this thread.

Get your English right. What you really need is advice, not input, of married men.

Ogbuu101:
See,sex is a primitive urge just like d urge to spread out you hands to protect the rest of the body during a fall.Have you wondered how even animals get d urge and know where to put it?
Now,with social media,skimpy dressing by women etc,the mind of a male is constantly reminded of sex.
A married man/woman should get it at worst,once a week.
Nigerian women tend to make sex a man thing b/c they have commercialized something that should be enjoyed by both couples and use it as a bargaining chip,so even in marriage, they erroneously feel they're doing d man a favor.
I have married female colleagues who have healthy sexual appetites and tell me "even if we de quarrel, he must get it up make I collect my thing,after we go resume the quarrel ".
Forget about Nigerian women, they are so used to using sex as a fund raising activity and bargaining chip that they block their minds to the fact that it is an enjoyable act and carry the mentality into marriage.
If you see any man here saying anything on d contrary just know he isn't married yet.

So you know it's an enjoyable act? And yet you expect a woman who is not happy in her marriage to keep having sex. How can you enjoy something with someone you are angry with? So your married colleague tells you she does that and you believed?

Truth is that a lot of women are unhappy with their husbands so they withhold sex because that's all they can do. Some men only listen and act properly when they really have something to lose (like sex).

Some women want to withhold sex but can't because their husbands would retaliate in a way that could be detrimental to them.

Nigerian marriages are constant battle grounds and that's not likely to change anytime soon.

In my opinion though, any woman withholding sex from her husband should be willing to accept that he will cheat. Likewise any man who treats his wife badly should realize that she will find someone who will treat her better sooner of later.

dodelight:
I kinda agree with you. but our society, most especially Christianity has demonized polygamy, now women take it for granted.

I agree with you, apart from ministers, the Bible didn't condemn polygamy, at least I'm sure of that with my knowledge of the holy Bible.
Some women don't cheat, but they dont crave for intercourse, that's if the man doesn't initiate sex she won't mind.
But the fact is; any man who got married after he had a lot of sex while single will likely be frustrated and sex-starved if the wife is not as active as he wants her to be. This may be the problem with this man.