nickishire:
After marriage, some men no longer make effort to satisfy their women sexually. Ask a lot of married women, they'll tell you their husband is a one minute man. But this same man will put in more effort to sexually satisfy a concubine.

Yes, because he doesn't see the concubine all the time, he doesn't see the concubine's panties hanging at the wall rope leading to the restroom all the time, he doesn't see the concubine tying wrapper to cook in the kitchen or leaves her hair undone for weeks stretching to months without caring to plant it, he doesn't get nagged or have sex flagged off as a reward for an impresive act or a weapon for striking his shortcomings every now and then, he doesn't get to see the concubine wearing pads right in his front without caring if it's pleasant to the man's eyes or not, he doesn't get a particular sex position (missionary) and a little or no urge to suck his dick as practiced way back during courtship anymore....all the time.

All these and many more, most Nigerian wives have the habit of putting into practice which consequently reduces the man's sexual fantasy and makes men lust after another Lady outside. Goodnight!

I don't think I can even bear 1 month without, like, I must be lashing my wife like thrice a week to say the least. I am much more scared that since my life is like this now, maybe cheating would be inevitable for m [/quote]

So the reason you came to this world is just to have sex

lefulefu:
99 percent of women who deprive their husbands of sex are actually having active sex with other men.its because of the guilty concience they refuse having sex with their husbands

it seems i concur with u. For a woman to deprives her husband sex upto 3months without having medical issues, that woman has alternative sexual pleasure.

Danniedpastor:






Bros, your statistics is wrong.
1. Generally, women have lower sex-drive compared to men. Someone women (if left alone) can stay without sex for up to six months. So, when a woman denies her sex, it doesn't mean that she's cheating.
2. As a man, you need to discuss about your sex life with your spouse before you walk down the isle with her. Ask her about it and both of you should give honest answers(no form holiness for that matter). That way you would reach a conclusion/compromise with her.
3. If she's a novice (in sex matters) , lovingly and patiently teach her when you are married. Let her know your sexual preference and know hers too. (No sex style or position is a sin). Know what turns your wife on, and use it well.
4. Sex goes with a mood- learn to set the mood for it before time. To a reasonable woman, sex is not an incident, it's a reward (to you for being her man indeed).
You can't leave a woman at home all day (with kids) and expect to just come home at night to ride her broken body (that won't be fair on her). When you come home, assist with house chores, stay with her in the kitchen and keep whispering sweetness into her ears(that way you are creating an atmosphere for a sweet night.)
The more times you spend with her,the more she would be willing to give you her body. Don't leave her lonely all day and expect to bond only on bed(e no go work)


Still have more to say but,let me stop here.




IF YOU NEED COUNSELING ON MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIP ISSUES, YOU CAN CALL ME ON 090THIRTY_4987_ZERO_6. YOU CAN ALSO REACH ME ON WHATSAPP WITH THAT SAME NUMBER.


Stay blessed and joyful

You are a bad counselor and you will end up not only breaking up marriages with your lopsided advice but you might die early yourself practising your own counsel

thesicilian:
If I start to talk, we won't leave here today.

I don buy seat for here. Start talking

prekumohtim:

I don't think I can even bear 1 month without, like, I must be lashing my wife like thrice a week to say the least. I am much more scared that since my life is like this now, maybe cheating would be inevitable for m

So the reason you came to this world is just to have sex

No be their fault joooo. Let them have it

steveekeoma:
it seems i concur with u. For a woman to deprives her husband sex upto 3months without having medical issues, that woman has alternative sexual pleasure.

Not all women

luminouz:


You are a bad counselor and you will end up not only breaking up marriages with your lopsided advice but you might die early yourself practising your own counsel

Haaaaaa
Why did you say that?

Ningen:
Married men cheat 70% of the time because of sex deprivation. So they don't have a choice but to venture outside for satisfaction.

This is why the sexual compatibility should not be undermine or taken for granted when dating.

From the passage I can deduce that they had great sex relationship during courtship but his wife actually started sexual deprivation after their first child

Temhellen:

No be their fault joooo. Let them have it

I just tire about them sometimes. Almost every post on nairaland is targeted against women. If marriage didn't work, the society will blame the women

steveekeoma:
it seems i concur with u. For a woman to deprives her husband sex upto 3months without having medical issues, that woman has alternative sexual pleasure.

some are diagreeing with me..someone even said when a woman marries and start bearing kids her sexual drive goes down ...yet time and time again we keep hearing stories of married women with kids who get caught in hotels having sex with their ex

Emmanuelcann:
Sex as a weapon and bargaining chip, it's inevitable! Do you expect that things will always be smooth and rosy in a marriage? No? So do you expect that a woman will be happy to engage in love making with a husband who has offended her one way or another?
Marriage for a man is a time to learn that you can't always have what you want - unless you are a polygamist. Learn self control!

Sex mutual pleasure not a bargaining table 4 business or money transactions.

Temhellen:

Haaaaaa
Why did you say that?

Dude is not being real.biko

misreal:
Well.ayam not yet married, but i have warned my babe that she must never deny me of it oh

What if she does after your first child. What will you do
Remember that you love your child and you don't want a broken home for him

ModestGal:
This is why I tell girls to have something good that brings in money, get well educated, do things you are passionate about that brings you happiness.
Don't ever rely all your HAPPINESS on a man and don't ever MARRY a ugly man, infact, you can go check up his family to be sure that they are not too ugly there, because at the end of the day, your children matters most, and think of the joy that would come out of having pretty children, it would make you forget anything that their father would have done to hurt you and people would think you have a happy home since they will not hear you fight or shout, thats the secret of some happy women.

The truth is that what some men want is to keep women in sadness and for them to be happy about it. Its so obvious childbirth, pregnancy, is not an easy thing for women, but just for them to endure for 3months till you are very healthy after childbirth is a problem for them, meanwhile you endured for 9 months to bring child for both of you, and even endured labour pains.
Men are just too selfish, if you don't want to run into depression, please do what I have said.

Some husbands are so selfish that when they wrong you, you should happily still give them your body.
This thread is so full of rubbish talks picking on women, as a woman, you should please wise up.

I'm 100% against full housewifes, 100% against women not getting good education because some men could run you crazy, and if at that time you are nothing, its possible you run mad. My friend who is a clinical psychologist once told me highest number of his patients are women and most of the problems are caused by their husbands treatment.
If you are empowered as a woman, you will easily heal from such hurts and redirect your energy to something else like your children, your work when men misbehave, by that, your depression would be minimal. A word is enough for the wise

so what if the ugly man is very wealthy..will u refuse if he signifies interest in u?

Na u dey pained, boomerang, back to sender

Tadeknkeepcalm:

Oga why are you pained?

misreal:
Well.ayam not yet married, but i have warned my babe that she must never deny me of it oh

What if she does after your first child. What will you do.
Remember that you love your child and you don't want a broken home for him

Dunsin2020:
Na u dey pained, boomerang, back to sender

Ok sir

lefulefu:
some are diagreeing with me..someone even said when a woman marries and start bearing kids her sexual drive goes down ...yet time and time again we keep hearing stories of married women with kids who get caught in hotels having sex with their ex

If so, why do we still have sugar Mummy everywhere, if during&after birth her sex drive reduces? When it comes to sex deprivation for me is wrong.

steveekeoma:
I don't think polygamy can stop the above narratives bcoz some polygamous men still cheat despite having upto 3wives in their custody. However, i think is all about self thought, self control and choice.

You are right. When I said that, I had this particular narrative in mind. At least before he started patronizing prostitutes that is. I hope you understand sir.

Nairaboi:

Maybe he is from a polygamous home which lacked loved and understanding

I see.

steveekeoma:
If so, why do we still sugar Mummy everywhere, if during&after birth her sex drive reduces? When it comes to sex deprivation for me is wrong.

abi ..many young guys in Abuja make a living by sleeping with older women and these women pay them money for sex .they say women sex drive reduces yet there are guys who sleep with married older women and get payed and these guys are living well on such proceeds.if many women who are married tend to have low sex drive after having kids how come the sugar mummy industry in nigeria is booming .thats a question those guys who argue that married women with kids tend to have low sex drive cant answer .the truth of the matter is when u wife starts refusing u sex withouth any medical issue then it means she detests you,she is not attracted to you or one of her ex has resumed having sex with her.it h :Ds nothing to do with her sex drive reducing.Sex drive reducing and yet the sugar mummy industry is booing well in nigeria

Temhellen:

Not all women

Then why deprivation? There's no woman without sexual feeling. Excessive denial or deprivation is a sign of alternative methods. So stop twisting it bcoz u know what am talking about.

Tadeknkeepcalm:

You are right. When I said that, I had this particular narrative in mind. At least before he started patronizing prostitutes that is. I hope you understand sir.

Sex is a driving force in a marriage and u can't keep ur marriage without it. However, i don't buy the idea of married man patronizing ashawo for the sake of his family health.

dodelight:
i kinda agree with you. but our society, most especially christianity has demonized polygamy, now women take it for granted.

polygamy led to a lot of broken home and children who need to travel just to see their father.

lefulefu:
abi ..many young guys in Abuja make a living by sleeping with older women and these women pay them money for sex .they say women sex drive reduces yet there are guys who sleep with married older women and get payed and these guys are living well on such proceeds.if many women who are married tend to have low sex drive after having kids how come the sugar mummy industry in nigeria is booming .thats a question those guys who argue that married women with kids tend to have low sex drive cant answer .the truth of the matter is when u wife starts refusing u sex withouth any medical issue then it means she detests you,she is not attracted to you or one of her ex has resumed having sex with her.it h :Ds nothing to do with her sex drive reducing.Sex drive reducing and yet the sugar mummy industry is booing well in nigeria

the woman should give her husband sex and stop being silly. Without sex she can't keeps her home safe

steveekeoma:
Sex is a driving force in a marriage and u can't keep ur marriage without it. However, i don't buy the idea of married man patronizing ashawo for the sake of his family health.

You're very correct. That's why I said polygamy is the only responsible alternative.

Nairaboi:

True. But any woman who is not a virgin and has multiple sexual partners is an Ashawo.

Chineke mei

Eulalia:



I concurr. Try to find out your sexual compatibility before you leap. Discuss it.

I remember discussing with a bro and he stylishly delved into that area and asked If I like it so much and can do it so so number of times. I told him point blank, hell no! So from further discussion, I deduced hes the type that likes it so much and would want it every now and then and I on the other hand dont have the strength for such. That was how we maturely ended the whole thing. I can't deal. He too can't endure. So its better we look for our type . Very key.

But sometimes women do use sex as weapon to fight the husband

Geminita1:
The guys on this forum are so dumb mehnn.

Guess what? Women don't care about you lots anymore. You are so bigoted, selfish and sexists. Once we have our kids, we are okay, we don't care about you, we don't care.

Guy u need to see ur doctor or u take that black pills in the cupboard. Stop deceiving urself. Thanks

Ningen:
Married men cheat 70% of the time because of sex deprivation. So they don't have a choice but to venture outside for satisfaction.

This is why the sexual compatibility should not be undermine or taken for granted when dating.

At times it's not about compatibility.

People can be compatible when dating and make effort to satisfy bf/gf. But that change when they become "shairman/shairwoman" after wedding.

Childbirth can also change the dynamics. Lots of women shift attention to the baby or kids. Even men do it. All the spontaneous "things" of before disappear. People's libido might just reduce over time.

Let's also face it, people do fall out of love. Marriage is no panacea to being in love perpetually.

In many cases, love was never really there but marriage was done to tick one of the "must do" boxes of life. The initial excitement might initially keeps sex going but later wears off.

The biggest obstacle is a partner not knowing or accepting that something is wrong. That way seeking professional therapy becomes difficult.

We are Africans trying to live as Europeans. No polygamy, no elders stepping in to advise, etc. Your pastor is now more trusted to intervene because he says God anointed him. Often without the expertise or understanding of social or cultural background of the couple.

It's a time of flux for Africans. Challenging days are ahead in virtually all facets of life.