AreaFada2:


At times it's not about compatibility.

People can be compatible when dating and make effort to satisfy bf/gf. But that change when they become "shairman/shairwoman" after wedding.

Childbirth can also change the dynamics. Lots of women shift attention to the baby or kids. Even men do it. All the spontaneous "things" of before disappear. People's libido might just reduce over time.


Let's also face it, people do fall out of love. Marriage is no panacea to being in love perpetually.

In many cases, love was never really there but marriage was done to tick one of the "must do" boxes of life. The initial excitement might initially keeps sex going but later wears off.

The biggest obstacle is a partner not knowing or accepting that something is wrong. That way seeking professional therapy becomes difficult.

We are Africans trying to live as Europeans. No polygamy, no elders stepping in to advise, etc. Your pastor is now more trusted to intervene because he says God anointed him. Often without the expertise or understanding of social or cultural background of the couple.

It's a time of flux for Africans. Challenging days are ahead in virtually all facets of life.

femmoy:


i suggest u check my sigi u little fool. You better focus more on ur education and pray for understanding cos it seems u are so daft to comprehend my write up.

bigcasava1:
I disagree with you. Religion did not support sex deprivation infact the Bible warned couple not to deny their body to each other.

Temhellen:

Not all sugar mummies have sex with their so called bfsss everyday, moreso they don’t even last in bed. Some sugar mummy have bfsss cos of peer group competition. They want to show off. Do u think they have sex every non n then with those guys? It’s a big lie . Plus most of them, their husbands r no more or divorced.

shebcylov:
let me brief my story .
During courtship by wife practically run from her place to meet me for sex even after trying my best sometimes she still demand for more . now we are 6 yr into the marriage . Now this how it goes now .
In the morning . Babe how far let's have one round
Babe: Haa ! its too early I have to quickly start working I have a lot to do
In the afternoon: Babe what's up now let's enjoy our self
Babe : Haa in this hot afternoon moreover it's too bright let's leave it till later.
At night : Babe touching and spooshing
Babe : Haa ! am seriously tired pls pls pls let's leave it for another day
That's how I practically been leave for the past 6 yes . Except I deadly insist may be once on 2 weeks or a month though am not the type that like sex that much
The good part . Am a believer a born again . U know what that mean ....u endure even when the thing dey burn u for under. Lollll. good night

Funkyswagzz:
Look b4 u leap my friend before u say I made a mistake getting married to her.. there are loads of women out there who are willing to give u sex anytime any day as far u keep her happy. Don't mind that guy he is the one who put himself in that mess.

Emmanuelcann:
Sex as a weapon and bargaining chip, it's inevitable! Do you expect that things will always be smooth and rosy in a marriage? No? So do you expect that a woman will be happy to engage in love making with a husband who has offended her one way or another?
Marriage for a man is a time to learn that you can't always have what you want - unless you are a polygamist. Learn self control!

lefulefu:
99 percent of women who deprive their husbands of sex are actually having active sex with other men.its because of the guilty concience they refuse having sex with their husbands

awumen:
there was 100% compatibility during courtship intact in most cases she will initiate it, so the question is what went wrong now that marriage is here, no more initiating it, u initiate,palava.its hurting honestly and I understand it's over 70% of the married women. So what happened, where did that drive vanish to? Even when you are doing well,not cheating, no lack of any kind, you are caring, you listen, you ate at home, yearly vacation(imagiming being deny sex during vacation,just imagine), the same vacation she planned and dreamt of o, everywhere stew but yet this thing still happens. So I ask, what do omen really want,is it just having their kids, is that all?what happen to the man after the kids have arrive?

4ckz:
I will really need the input of married men and women on this thread.

So yesterday at the bar, you know, ashawo bar, I sat in the same table with a married man, looked early 40's to me. He got drunk and got all chit chat with me.

He told me that he actually picked up ashawo life style after marriage, told me his wife always used sex as a bargaining chip early in their marriage, and often looked for the slightest reason not to have sex.

He said his first time cheating was after his first child, that his wife refused his touch for more than 3 months, he got to cheat with one of his colleagues at work (lest I forget, the man is well learned and rich too, I could get this from his fluency in English and his car).

The affair almost cost him his marriage. When mata cast, everyone blamed him, but he couldn't tell them how his wife deprived him of sex. He was later forgiven by the wife and the marriage continued.

According to him, before long the wife went back to her style of sexual deprivation, was only active when they wanted children. He did mention that he doesn't think the wife cheated, he has monitored her, and as far as he could tell, the wife was an always at home type of woman, and according to him was a good woman apart from the sex thing.

Before long he went back to cheating again, and that was when he started ashawo life style, he choose not to have a relationship with anyone again because of the threat it posed to his marriage.

He said he is sure his wife knows of his ashawo life style, but never talked about it for the sake of peace, and he has been living like that for more than 10 yrs, and their sex life though not dead comes once in a while, few times in a year.

He advised me that if I should cheat, that I should never keep a relationship with anyone, that I should try as much as possible to make it just about sex. Me that's planning to never cheat on my wife.

So married men, do your wives ever keep you for months without sex?

Also do husbands deprive their wives of sex?

I don't think I can even bear 1 month without, like, I must be lashing my wife like thrice a week to say the least. I am much more scared that since my life is like this now, maybe cheating would be inevitable for me.

So married people, how do you deal with sexual deprivation from your spouse, and is it even possible not to cheat?

What of the health threat to your spouse that comes with it?

phemmyfour:
polygamy doesn't cure cheating. Men with many wives do cheat as well. There is this pleasure they derive in eating what does not belong to them

humilitypays:
I commot cap for men who still have active sex life with their wife after 5 - 10 years of marriage because me that I know will quit having sex after 3 years of marriage.


It is boring having sex with the same woman every week or every month for 3 years, 4 yrs, 5yrs, 10yrs, 20yrs, haba na......you will start seeing her like your sister self after 5 years of marriage, only the kids will be the bond, so I praise men who are still having active sex life with their wife of 5 years after several kids, such men are hero, and this is one thing that makes sex scary.


I wouldn't mind open marriage after 5 years of marriage.....she can get a guy she likes to service her sexually, I won't complain cos I won't be able to fulfill that duty as a husband after 5 years with kids, my sexual interest in her will die even if she be Kim Kardashian or Beyonce



Keeping active sex life in marriage is scary!

4ckz:


Some people had this mindset, got married yet faced the same problem.
Don't you know that most women do not deprive their guys of sex during courtship, yet the same women change after marriage.

PikinNwaSmall:
myǹd44 lalasticlaIa ṣeun oam4
rule 2

goldensoul55:
Cheap excuse to cheat .


He should keep making excused untill he gets infected with HIV/AIDS in

lefulefu:
99 percent of women who deprive their husbands of sex are actually having active sex with other men.its because of the guilty concience they refuse having sex with their husbands

annsrealms:


There are so many things men don't put into consideration. Sex for men is different for woman. A man can easily be aroused for anything, anytime and anywhere. Sex for women involves emotion excepts prostitutes who money is their motivations. MArriage comes with challenges that weigh women down. Find ways to make your wife always look forward to making love instead of rushing in and out, cos it becomes burden. Marry a seemly perfect hot side chick, if you don't do things right you will have same complain.

Another thing us child birth and pregnancy usually have effect on some women which if you understand, you will work it out together.

Tadeknkeepcalm:

That's what you've been told.

If our forefathers didn't like themselves, how many of us will be here today?

olujosh301:



The summary of what you're saying is that as long as a woman is happy in the marriage things would go smoothly

Once a man slacks in one area or the other things start going south and it shouldn't be that way

lefulefu:
99 percent of women who deprive their husbands of sex are actually having active sex with other men.its because of the guilty concience they refuse having sex with their husbands

Tadeknkeepcalm:
This is as a result of polygamy being obsolete in the society.

It's the only responsible alternative and would surely correct all these nonsense.