JONNYSPUTE:
.....Thank you for bringing this up.
(1) I'm not interested and have never thought or dreamt of being a king in my life.Even though I would have loved to but I can't due to my wife, my kids,never wanted a polygamous family because of its endless fight after my demise.

My wife simply told me to do what I wanted, though she herself doesn't buy the idea of me becoming a king.

This your third point is exactly where i and my father has talked extensively and he has assured me that nothing will happen if I refused and I believed him. He said traditionally it is very wrong for a father to bow for a son as the king and that is why he believed that there's a conspiracy against us because he is also the president General of my community.

I don't think they can stop me from achieving anything now except they will want to be at war with my entire family.

Your last question is the bone of contention. They said throughout the history, that every king must marry from the community and since my wife is from another state,that I should pick up a wife from our community.

The deity allowed you to marry from another state in the first instance before choosing you?
My guy, it wasn't the deity that chose you.
Decline the offer if you are not interested..
Even if they come with the mantra of: “you don't question the gods”, tell them that you are already living the life which the Almighty God had destined for you, and it is full of peace and love and progress, and not filled with confusion and sleepless nights, and hurting loved ones.

JONNYSPUTE:
.... Same thing I'm wondering about and when I enquired,they said they are not the ones making the decision to select me.

I will advise that you go for spiritual consultation elsewhere outside the town or state.

....I sincerely thank you all for your comments on this thread.

It has greatly taught me alot of things I was not looking at initially.

Even though I can't fight my elders and the whole community,your advices have given me a kind of hope and ability to withstand them in any direction I choose to go inrespect of this topic.

Once again,I thank you all.

Remain blessed.

I came late to the party. If the Eze stood is not a first Class stood and can't guarantee a better life for you and your family, jettison it right now without thinking twice.

Again, there is a grand plot somewhere, in many African culture, it is almost a taboo for a man to be make an Eze (not a chief) when his father is still alive.

Discuss with your extended family, let them also inquire from the gods if indeed you were chosen by them.

Finally, don't delude yourself, being an Eze and a Christian doesn't go together.

i think the op should look his wife inside out and judge what kinda decision should would make if she comes across such life turning offer and treat her accordingly

Macphenson:
Honestly speaking, in as much as enlightened, educated and exposed we are, we still have our traditions as Africans.

It is indeed a difficult situation you find yourself , and a tough decision to make.

But the truth is you have to face reality.
In such a situation where it is you and the community, I will advise you take the kingship, it is an honour for you to be chosen,and trust me your generations yet unborn will be proud of you.

It.is also a rare and great priviledge for you to render service to your people , and for you to also write your name in gold.

As for your wife, this is where you have a challenge. No woman wants to share her man.
Please appeal to her that ordinarily you want to be with only her, but circumstances have changed everything, also reach out to her family first, and present your case to them. That's a sign of respect and regards for them. As long as it is the dictates of the tradition, overtime they will understand but not without certain reservations and concerns.

Let them.understand that your taking another wife is absolutely circumstancial and not intentional.

Please take up this rare priviledge of serving you people.

My own personal request is this

Please place the interest of your subjects at heart while on the throne. Be a father to them. Don't be like our present day political "Ezes".

Righteousness89:
My Brother!
If you will take up the Post, your Faith should be a Paramount Factor.

Don't allow any other form of god or diety to make u do what you should not!

Respectfully Tell your people that you will Accept the throne but that things will be done in a Christian way. You Respectfully tell them what your faith stands for.

If they Accept, Good! If they do not, then Respectfully decline them

Position is not a Qualification for Eternal Life..

Where in the post has the OP mentioned he's Christian I thought the throne had always been a TRADITIONAL STOOL......


This is an issue that has its resolve between the OP, his wife, family and community (Christians and non-Christians). Save him the religiousness abeg...


-Lloyd

Since you said that your wife is aware of everything, what is her stand. Again and very important, does it affect your religion? That will be a sine qua non for you accepting the offer or not.

JONNYSPUTE:
....Just the respect they accord you.No financial gain. You might even be spending your own money but the government of the state will recognise you.

I assumed monarchs get paid salary by the government and that you will also have some political leverage. You can also use your power to impact your village positively.

I understand that your major issue with this is the fact that you have to marry another woman.

From the way you sound I feel you will be the right person to be King. The world needs humble leaders.

Too bad you are in such a dilemma.

bukatyne:
We need to ascertain some issues:

1. Are you interested in the Kingship?
2. What is your wife's opinion on the Kingship?
3. What leverage do you have in this situation? i.e. If you don't become the king, what happens?
4. What leverage does the village have over you? If you refuse their kingship, what can they stop you from achieving?
5. If you are interested in the kingship and have some sort of leverage, do you have the mental strength to insist it is done your way: kingship with no second wife?
I CAN UNDERSTAND THIS DILEMMA,I EXPERIENCED THIS SOME YEARS BACK,THOUGH MY FAITH IS STRONGER THAN TRADITIONS
KINDLY NOTE ONE MAN CAN NOT BE WISER THAN HIS VILLAGE,THE GODS OF YOUR LAND CHOOSE YOU FOR THIS HONOR.
TELL THE GODS YOUR TERMS,U ARE STANDING WITH ONE WIFE,I BELIEVED THE RULES WILL BE BEND FOR YOU.RESCUE THIS COMMUNITY.

From your post, it's like your current wife is not from your place, if that is the case you need to take another wife!.

Kingship position is an invitation to leadership with benefits, if you reject this opportunity of leading your tribe's people, one of these things will happen to you.

One: except your village deity and the herbalist in that village were born again Christian, you will become useless to your generation that your wife you are afraid of, will leave and remarry and gossip about you to her new husband while they are having sex.

Two: except your village people doesn't give a Bleep about kingship and they are not interested if they king go to another village, if not your entire family going to have big problems staying in ther village, because your village people will always drag them to insult, they will say that the benefits that should be given to their village has be diverted to another village because of your stupidity.

Thirdly: your wife and children will always not welcome in that village, and when you die your corpse will be rejected to be buried in that village.

Fourthly: except your wife is a pastor, if not she will be attack and suffer great afflictions, if she refuse to let you she might loose her life.

Why did I say this?
When I was in school, a friend of my that his father was in ogboni fraternity died and my has to replace his father's position, my friend as a brilliant tech guy see that as distraction to his dream and rejected and run to another state to another country, from where he ran to, his body started rotten until he loose his life.

Also, my brother as brilliant Road Safety officer was attacked by some senior officers making him to become drunkard, my brother has lost his job, his wife packed out with his children and when to remarry to another man, we the entire family has bn spending our money, time to help my brother get well, what am saying is that if you refuse to accept the kingship and the worst thing come, your wife that you are afraid off will leave you for another man.

Take my advice take another wife if that is a requirement for the king position and enjoy your long life, Solo has 300 wives and 700 concubines and he was rich and leave a full good life.

Now is when to test your man hood be a man and take your decision every decitions have is own good and bad thats nature

JONNYSPUTE:
....Been doing this all this while and because of this,I ve not been to the village since December to see my parents. They all come over to my base now to see me.My wife has not said anything about it since and I can understand her.Even my Dad is confused cause such has never happened.

You can't crown me a king while my father is alive..My father and I feels there's a conspiracy against us.

Does it involve other gods? If it does and you are a Christian, dump it, no sentiment. It should be first about your beliefs before your wife.

Sounds like a home movie

Tell'em to go to hell with their diety and kingship if u really do not nurse any desire to be a trad ruler. Brace up for the physical and spiritual battles. Godspeed.

You need to determine what exactly you want. Is it part of your dream to be or being forced to, if being forced, you may be unable to fulfill your own ambition in life , you will remain unhappy which is not too good.
Is it your wife that is holding you back or it just does not fit into your mission in life, if that, reject vehemently but be strong in God and prayer, you will conquer

JONNYSPUTE:
...I'm a member of Dominion city

Wow. My brother, tell your pastor sharperly nah. Wetin you dey wait.

Your elders picked u maybe cos u are well to do not oracle or deity.
Do personal spiritual consultations on your own, and follow the proceeds. If u decline the throne of ur forefathers cos of woman, u are not brave.

JONNYSPUTE:
.....Thank you for bringing this up.
(1) I'm not interested and have never thought or dreamt of being a king in my life.Even though I would have loved to but I can't due to my wife, my kids,never wanted a polygamous family because of its endless fight after my demise.

My wife simply told me to do what I wanted, though she herself doesn't buy the idea of me becoming a king.

This your third point is exactly where i and my father has talked extensively and he has assured me that nothing will happen if I refused and I believed him. He said traditionally it is very wrong for a father to bow for a son as the king and that is why he believed that there's a conspiracy against us because he is also the president General of my community.

I don't think they can stop me from achieving anything now except they will want to be at war with my entire family.

Your last question is the bone of contention. They said throughout the history,that every king must marry from the community and since my wife is from another state,that I should pick up a wife from our community.

For this bolded, if you love your wife, reject the kingship. Your wife will be relegated by the community and the chiefs because she isn't from your community while the last wife will be more welcome, loved and recognised by the chiefs. Your wife might constantly face humiliation

Let me bore my mind as it pertains to this discuss at hand.Firstly, if your community deity choose you to lead your people, it one call you can't run away from. Because I have seen from experience where one tends to manoeuvre his way when such a call was place on his head.If truly your community deity chose you,then the deity should know that your father is still alive and it is an aberration for a son to be crowned king when his father is still alive.You need to go extra length to inquire if it is truly the deity that made such proclamation.

secondly,it is true in most part of Southern southern and Eastern communities that a truly king must marry from his kind,so as to produce a true blood.If you hadn't married before, I believe you can take another wife from another tribe outside your paternal home.So please kindly go to an elder who you know knowns about history and facts about your community and ask questions regarding this issue.

Thirdly,bear it in mind that if you eventually cave in now and get a new wife,her first son will automatically becomes the crown prince in place of your other son's, bro think very well before you leap.
I know it is an honour to serve your people,but don't do it at the detriment of your first family.

Lastly,do a wide consultations regarding this issue,because it is a make or mar situation that you find yourself.

Go and meet the chief priest of your community to summon the god's so that you will hear from them directly or better still ................................................

I so submit,my brother.

JONNYSPUTE:
....Good morning folks. Sure we are all good and managing the effects of pandemic well?. To God be the glory.

This is going to be long because I will want us to read and understand it very well before commenting. Reason is because any decision taken is going to affect both myself,my immediate family members, extended and the entire community.

I have been thinking about the way forward since December last year.

It happened that we lost our king (Eze) 5years ago and the community has been in turmoil due to the inability of the elders to select a new king.

Reason is that it is rotational between my village and the other village.

My village is now supposed to bring out the next king and my compound has been told to bring out somebody to be crowned as a king.

I never envisaged or dreamt of becoming a king in my life because.
(1) My father is still alive.
(2)I'm not the most senior in the entire family.

But then,the elders met me last December and told me that the diety in the community has selected me to become the next king and that I have to pick another wife from the community before I will be crowned.

I told them point and blank that the oracle is mistaken due to the reasons I mentioned above but they are not taking it.

Now everyone in my village is against me for refusing the offer and saying I'm doing it be cause I don't want to hurt my wife which is true.

Now my question is,What do I do?
Should I damn the consequence and pick another wife and be crowned a king in other to make my community happy or should I forget about the whole idea entirely and allow the community sort themselves out?

I'm confused here. N B. My wife is aware of all this.

Thanks.

Please bring this to front page cause I'm no longer myself. So many sleepless nights and selfish advices from the elders in my community. I really need to hear the truth from people I don't know.

Make I go come.

Don't even think of accepting such satanic appointment...
From a deity?
Marry another wife? This is idolatry.
Just go on with your life but make sure u are a Christian ooo (born again Christian)

Write to them through the office of the governor through a lawyer declining the offer for personal reasons...

Also,let them no that since your father is alive, that he can take the kingship..
Governor should sign,then your lawyer signs on your behalf...
Shikina

[quote author=JONNYSPUTE post=90982909]...Don't even know how to go about this.

So many sleepless nights and worries.Im becoming a shadow of myself. Can't even think straight at all.


The two options they gave is like telling you to choose between leprosy and small pox. Why is Op worried about this issue sef? The trouble or wahala that might follow this type of leadership may be greater than the advantages that he will get from it.

This is how one young prominent man that has achieved a lot for his life was lured by his village people to go and become Chief/Eze. He accepted and descended to do those their spiritual deity things (promising him protection from God knows where). He was crowned, did the coronation but did not last 3 or 4 years, he became very sick that lab could not identify what was wrong with him. He was sent abroad for treatment, yet wasn't cured until he died, just like that. Am not saying that this might be your lot (God forbid), but for you to think it all round before taking your decision. The offer might be glittering from outside but have you check how it will look or turn out deep inside?

May God give you the grace and wisdom to choose and decide wisely.

ostarlink:
This choice of the gods is questionable and there are damnable consequences if you go for it which the gods have not told you. Your father and elder brothers bowing down to you? Mind you that most gods these days look into your pocket instead. If the gods did not see the men of gods will see on his behalf. If you are comfortable in your family stay clear of this impending doom. There is nothing like peace of mind in life. I have seen kings die few weeks on the throne.

Well said! Exactly what I mean to say too.

Sunnyja:
How one earth can he agree to accept the throne, after it's customs, tradition, practices and beliefs might have been fully explained to him and then turn around to practice it a "Christan" way. This is recipe for disaster. Same with "pastors" going into government shouting we will reform governance only to get be reformed by governance.
If you are accepting the throne, then be ready to comply with it's beliefs and customs. There is no Christian or Muslims way in African traditional thrones.

Very true. On point.

Emyogalanya:
no he is the liar here , as no igbo village will ever think of making a man whose father is still alive king. No oracle will ever give that kind proposal. I'm talking of igboland. It can happen another place

Okay...there's always 3 sides to A story.

What will be the name of this movie?

JONNYSPUTE:
....Been doing this all this while and because of this,I ve not been to the village since December to see my parents. They all come over to my base now to see me.My wife has not said anything about it since and I can understand her.Even my Dad is confused cause such has never happened.

You can't crown me a king while my father is alive..My father and I feels there's a conspiracy against us.

You may be wrong on this. If it's a deity that selected a candidate, it has nothing to fo with hierarchy or whether the person chooses has a father or elder brother. The "Ori" (i.e. destiny) determines this. Yours may be what pleases the deity as the tight person for the kingship.

ecolime:

Nice story line. I like it

...overused storyline, you must know

If you can be crowned King while your father is still alive,then you can be king without a wife from your village.

JONNYSPUTE:
.....Thank you for bringing this up.
(1) I'm not interested and have never thought or dreamt of being a king in my life.Even though I would have loved to but I can't due to my wife, my kids,never wanted a polygamous family because of its endless fight after my demise.

My wife simply told me to do what I wanted, though she herself doesn't buy the idea of me becoming a king.

This your third point is exactly where i and my father has talked extensively and he has assured me that nothing will happen if I refused and I believed him. He said traditionally it is very wrong for a father to bow for a son as the king and that is why he believed that there's a conspiracy against us because he is also the president General of my community.

I don't think they can stop me from achieving anything now except they will want to be at war with my entire family.

Your last question is the bone of contention. They said throughout the history,that every king must marry from the community and since my wife is from another state,that I should pick up a wife from our community.

Follow your heart and damn the consequences, if there's any

You are King David and Joseph son of Jacob combined.