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Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralFamilyMost Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family (49979 Views)

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Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by bukatyne(f): 8:43pm On Jul 20, 2020
TonyeBarcanista:
Papa wey de toil night and day for family to move forward na who you expect to play video game? Na wa for you o

How do you expect him to emotionally invest in his kids? I am very sure most fathers spend time with kids whenever they are at home no matter how little the time is.

Abeg, make una spare all these sissy crap
Mothers don't toil day and night?

I give it to we mothers: not because I am a woman or blindly supporting women here.

They are very intentional. A single mother would toil to feed her kids and strive to be there for them emotionally (whether teaching them right or wrong).

There Is NO excuse for a father NOT to be emotionally invested in his children.

NONE.
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by mariahAngel(f):
0neal:
Another title for this thread can be

"Fathers should endeavour to emotionally invest in their kids"

Other than just focused only on providing, protecting, disciplining...

How many dads can play video game with their boys? grin
Fooling around with your child is not synonymous with bonding. They can easily cross the line.
Make every time you spend with your child count.
Be approachable but firm. No time for nonsense.
Have discussions with them.
Ask them questions.
Teach them to say " sir" when they speak to you.
You don't need to fool around with them to prove that you love them.
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by xynerise(op): 8:58pm On Jul 20, 2020
mariahAngel:
Fooling around with your child is not synonymous with bonding. They can easily cross the line.
Make every time you spend with your child count.
Be approachable but strict. No time for nonsense.
Have discussions with them.
Ask them questions.
Teach them to say " sir" when they speak to you.
You don't need to fool around with them to prove that you love them.
Playing video games with them equals fool around? undecided
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by 0neal(m): 9:00pm On Jul 20, 2020
Bro

It baffles me why someone will think a father bonding with his kids (two is just perfect) is being a sissy?

xynerise:
You got it. Thumbs up
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by xynerise(op): 9:04pm On Jul 20, 2020
0neal:
Bro

It baffles me why someone will think a father bonding with his kids (two is just perfect) is a being a sissy?
It shows you how some people run their families and still look for who to blame when something goes wrong.

Being a father to them is like autocracy
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by mariahAngel(f): 9:06pm On Jul 20, 2020
xynerise:
Playing video games with them equals fool around? undecided
Ya damn right it is!
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by 0neal(m):
mariahAngel:
Fooling around with your child is not synonymous with bonding. They can easily cross the line.
Make every time you spend with your child count.
Be approachable but strict. No time for nonsense.
Have discussions with them.
Ask them questions.
Teach them to say " sir" when they speak to you.
You don't need to fool around with them to prove that you love them.
Geez

Fooling around for untop video game weh dey improve IQ when not over indulged?


Like I said earlier balance is key
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by mariahAngel(f): 9:09pm On Jul 20, 2020
0neal:
Geez

Fooling around for untop video game weh dey improve IQ when not over indulged?

Nigeria is not that hard nah!!!

Like I said earlier balance is key
What happened to chess and Scrabble?
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by 0neal(m):
Damn!




xynerise:
It shows you how some people run their families and still look for who to blame when something goes wrong.

Being a father to them is like autocracy
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by 0neal(m): 9:13pm On Jul 20, 2020
now you are talking

Variety is the spice of life

Adding cool video games to the list is not a bad idea


mariahAngel:
What happened to chess and Scrabble?
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by ImaIma1(f): 9:21pm On Jul 20, 2020
mariahAngel:
Fooling around with your child is not synonymous with bonding. They can easily cross the line.
Make every time you spend with your child count.
Be approachable but strict. No time for nonsense.
Have discussions with them.
Ask them questions.
Teach them to say " sir" when they speak to you.
You don't need to fool around with them to prove that you love them.
There is nothing wrong with playing with your children. Bonding doesn't have to be only teaching and applying discipline. Can't a man play basketball, soccer, video games with his kids once in a while.

We are too serious in this country especially on some issues that we should tone down on.
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by ImaIma1(f): 9:27pm On Jul 20, 2020
xynerise:
It shows you how some people run their families and still look for who to blame when something goes wrong.

Being a father to them is like autocracy
I think lalasticlala can take this to the front page to get a wider views from fathers. Some here are unbelievable. .
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by mariahAngel(f): 9:33pm On Jul 20, 2020
ImaIma1:
There is nothing wrong with playing with your children. Bonding doesn't have to be only teaching and applying discipline. Can't a man play basketball, soccer, video games with his kids once in a while.

We are too serious in this country especially on some issues that we should tone down on.
Well, different strokes...
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by RPG2020(m): 10:16pm On Jul 20, 2020
Since your father failed make you try pass Lazy younth
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by nnaemekanwachuk(m): 10:16pm On Jul 20, 2020
Maybe your own has
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by monimekaz(m): 10:17pm On Jul 20, 2020
Some nonentity who have irresponsible father and husband will wake up and start typing rubbish with cheap data. How did this make front page?
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by Nobody: 10:17pm On Jul 20, 2020
xynerise:
Yes, I said so.

If you are of the school of thought that providing for the family along automatically makes you a caring father, then you are among those that
risk being irrelevant to your children.

If you look at most families today, the children hardly mention their fathers when making a reference to something inspiring. I mean quoting what your father once taught you or something positive you learnt while growing up. I am referring to fathers of our time.

Today, everything is about making money and paying the bills. That is not enough.
How close are you to your children? It is always the mother that attends to issues that trouble the children today. Even though fathers source for solutions at the end but the children will always remember the person that discovered the problems, or at least care to know what the problem is.

How often do we call our kids, sit them down and ask them about the kind of challenges they face in life?

Some fathers hardly call their children (far from home) on phone except the mother does and maybe pass the phone to him. This has made some people to call mostly their mothers on phone and explain situations to her rather than the father who provides the money to solve the situations.

You can see that despite most fathers provide the money, yet the mothers get most of the appreciation.

My point is, we shouldn't be too focus on just making the money. Let us remember we are also making a family too.
Mtcheeew
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by etrange: 10:17pm On Jul 20, 2020
swiz123:
I don't have a problem if kids don't regard their fathers that much probably because of his busy schedules which their tiny heads can't understand.

My real problem is when an adult still think that his father is irrelevant because he doesn't baby-sit them... like WTF!!.... Shouldn't you have outgrown that stupid mindset?..

Most men who thinks that their father is irrelevant because of your silly reason and therefore goes about asslicking their momma are the reason why most marriages are living hell for modern wives.

Most orphans at motherless homes would give everything to have someone who can provide can feed, shelter, clothe and pay their school fees. That momma's love you so much adore isn't a priority to these unfortunate children...

I don't know how old you are, but please, change your mindset from today onwards
Now you know how women feel when Nairaland guys gather to type trash about them. grin
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by QueenTacha279: 10:19pm On Jul 20, 2020
It is a Lie
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by pongwa(m): 10:20pm On Jul 20, 2020
donstan18:
You are referring to your father who didn't teach you anything positive, not our fathers.


It still doesn't change the fact that your parents didn't teach you anything positive.

Below is my proof, a screenshot of your statement on this forum about them.

They failed, ruined and slowed your success, according to you.

Stop forcing our fathers To be like yours!!
you have answered him already well done. Instead him to ask for help E dey talk nonsense
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by Nobody: 10:24pm On Jul 20, 2020
kingreign:
Xynerise, my brother man, you aren't far from the truth.

We have a lot of dead beat fathers in these days who's only job is to birth children then abandon the responsibility of grooming their offsprings to be properly train and responsible people.

Some weeks ago, I saw a man parked by a shopping mall, he had his son sit beside him in his car, he was busy smoking and drinking and the poor lad of no more than 4 years old was busy trying to disturb and tell his dad that smokers and drunkards will die young.

I sat in my wife's car just a car space away from them and was shaking my head in great disbelief and shame.
Off points undecided
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by Nobody: 10:24pm On Jul 20, 2020
bukatyne:
Nice thread.
Can you relate??
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by jojothaiv(m): 10:25pm On Jul 20, 2020
GboyegaD:
Preach it my brother.

Most of us think value is in how much we are worth in terms of money not knowing it is more about impacts.
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by ejimatic: 10:26pm On Jul 20, 2020
xynerise:
Yes, I said so.

If you are of the school of thought that providing for the family along automatically makes you a caring father, then you are among those that
risk being irrelevant to your children.

If you look at most families today, the children hardly mention their fathers when making a reference to something inspiring. I mean quoting what your father once taught you or something positive you learnt while growing up. I am referring to fathers of our time.

Today, everything is about making money and paying the bills. That is not enough.
How close are you to your children? It is always the mother that attends to issues that trouble the children today. Even though fathers source for solutions at the end but the children will always remember the person that discovered the problems, or at least care to know what the problem is.

How often do we call our kids, sit them down and ask them about the kind of challenges they face in life?

Some fathers hardly call their children (far from home) on phone except the mother does and maybe pass the phone to him. This has made some people to call mostly their mothers on phone and explain situations to her rather than the father who provides the money to solve the situations.

You can see that despite most fathers provide the money, yet the mothers get most of the appreciation.

My point is, we shouldn't be too focus on just making the money. Let us remember we are also making a family too.
. Most fathers are not just losing relevance but they have failed as fathers
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by DisLifeSha: 10:27pm On Jul 20, 2020
What about single parented children their father abandoned huh
swiz123:
I don't have a problem if kids don't regard their fathers that much probably because of his busy schedules which their tiny heads can't understand.

My real problem is when an adult still think that his father is irrelevant because he doesn't baby-sit them... like WTF!!.... Shouldn't you have outgrown that stupid mindset?..

Most men who thinks that their father is irrelevant because of your silly reason and therefore goes about asslicking their momma are the reason why most marriages are living hell for modern wives.

Most orphans at motherless homes would give everything to have someone who can provide can feed, shelter, clothe and pay their school fees. That momma's love you so much adore isn't a priority to these unfortunate children...

I don't know how old you are, but please, change your mindset from today onwards
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by Ikennamurphy: 10:30pm On Jul 20, 2020
TonyeBarcanista:
[s][/s]
My brother, a father's primary responsibility is to provide for his family. He toils, suffers and struggles to achieve that. This is in addition to provide care for the wife and kids and overall leadership.

A mother's primary responsibility is to care for the husband and kids, take care of home front and do any other responsibility assigned to her by the husband/father (feminists should go and die)

You can't expect a father to relegate his responsibility to be competing for attention of the children with the mother.

In fact, it is okay for children to be praising their mother as long as they, alongside their mother, acknowledge their father and are loyal to his authority. It is a welcome development!

When they are grown up they will realise their father's sacrifice!

For my family, we recognise both the sacrifices of our parents and always acknowledge them. As an adult male, I appreciates my father even more...
Nice one Tonye
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by Nobody: 10:30pm On Jul 20, 2020
Mindlog:
If you want your children to be actively involved in your life tomorrow, be actively. involved in theirs today. Beyond financial provisions, kids yearn for fathers with whom they can establish emotional security.

We have widows in our midst who have become sole providers, having to go out on a daily basis to hustle for their children' welfare but still create a balance that is making them bond with their children, have a listening ear, celebrate their little victories etc Fathers who also offers such alongside financial provisions, are more likely to have adult children who hold them dear to their hearts.

Being an involved father is the greatest gift one can give his child/children alongside financial provisions
What about the widowers??

You people don't respect Men!!
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by xynerise(op): 10:31pm On Jul 20, 2020
ejimatic:
. Most fathers are not just losing relevance but they have failed as fathers
My brother, I don't understand why people are just pained about this and indirectly insulting me.

They keep saying fathers are working their ass off to provide for the family. They forgot they also have some emotional impact on their children too. How else do I make it clear to them ? undecided
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by Bar1941(m): 10:32pm On Jul 20, 2020
cheesy
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by A1kennedy(m): 10:32pm On Jul 20, 2020
pls you can help a brother whose mini electronic firm has collapsed due to this pandemic, with a little token to survive this pandemic hour. Thank you and God bless.account no:0024995086 bank name: Union Bank phone no: 08146995561. Thank you once again.

donbachi:
Pressure here and there...una wan kill us?
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by TonyeBarcanista(m): 10:33pm On Jul 20, 2020
[s]
TheArchangel:
You are becoming more empty and bitter as the days go by.
[/s]
Your opinion, which you are entitled to!

Your problem too angry
Re: Most Fathers Today Are Losing Relevance In The Family by Nwaonyishi69: 10:33pm On Jul 20, 2020
donstan18:
You are referring to your father who didn't teach you anything positive, not our fathers.


It still doesn't change the fact that your parents didn't teach you anything positive.

Below is my proof, a screenshot of your statement on this forum about them.

They failed, ruined and slowed your success, according to you.

Stop forcing our fathers To be like yours!!
This write-up talks of a man who appears to be struggling to justify his foolishness to his father.
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