eni4real:
Bla bla bla..

Just marry someone compatible with you!!!

Always resist the urge to Shalaye!!

The SHALAYE of a thing by DORATHY is gaining momentum

Toks2008:


People see what they want to see. an unbias reader will know the fact that i used ''MANY'' to start removes the notion of generalization.

If i wrote this then why should i generalize.

Eeyaaahhh.... Stop feeling sad... No need to cry.

hashtagged:


Am not being silly if only the man is breadwinning the woman should do the chores and care for kids.
If they both breadwin EQUALLY then they can split the chores.
But seriously how many women have you seen providing(finicially) for the family, please answer sincerely and not cause you want to support ladies, i have seen women with jobs and stores, yet the man still provides solely, And even if the wife was to provide in place of the man for even a short time like a month, that man would be emasculated and treated like a second rate human.

Most women that provide for the family won't come and tell you cos they don't want the world to think less of their husbands.

Palema007:
What happens in situations in which the woman is the bread winner, she provides and contribute to the family's finances.? Should she be left alone to do her supposed natural roles too?

rare cases

Toks2008:
The idea of a wife material by many men is not different from the idea of having a slave in the house... Men want a woman who will be able to wake up as early as possible when others are still asleep, do the house chores and tend to the needs of the kids, the husband and after serving her household, she will go out to make ends meet and latter come back home to make sure her kids and husband are well taken care of and this includes cooking, washing their clothes and lots more... Men want a Nanny, A cook, A laundry lady, house cleaner, An errand lady, Sex provider and many more in one lady who is considered a weaker sex and as if this is not stressful enough, most men would rather boast about the ability of their lady in washing hard fabrics with bare hands, they will talk about how they so much love a lady because she can pound yam the natural way and will be proud to talk about how good their lady is in using archaic methods to prepare their meals... And the worst twist is that even if the lady is pregnant, they will still watch her do these tasks.

So I ask: is there anything different between a wife material and a slave? Will heaven fall if the man assists his wife in the home front?

Does common sense not tell the man that he needs to make life easier for his wife by getting a washing machine, a vacuum cleaner, and several other home/cooking appliances that will make life easier for her. Must a lady even know how to cook before you tag her wife material? What if she just can't cook or is the ability to cook part of success in life?

Please don't get it twisted, I'm not here to advise ladies to be redundant in their homes. Every married lady must be a home keeper, ensuring that her kids and husband are her priority...but nevertheless, in my opinion, a wife material means a gentle, submissive wife who will love you for who you are, tolerate your weaknesses, a Wife Material is a woman who is about her business, can hold her own in a conversation, is generous and can handle money well. A woman who will put your needs first and values her marriage so much that she won't defile it by being unfaithful... And just as the book of proverbs 31 says,...'' a virtuous woman is one who leads her home with integrity, discipline, and more and all the virtues she is practicing are aimed at making the life of her husband better, teaching her children, and serving God'' this is never the same as having a slave in the house in the name of wife material.

My prayer for every man reading this is that God provides for you so that you will make life easier for your woman so that you can look beyond that slave-like quality that many men use to qualify a wife material.


I hope this makes sense.

Nairaland babes right now

[img]https://media1./images/6fbd2fc5d2b728c9478763961e811f6a/tenor.gif?itemid=4511874[/img]

Nairaland guys

[img]https://media1./images/9469fca67925d929d0c73f2c43bde161/tenor.gif?itemid=15158650[/img]

This unstable fellow again!

Dew04:
Exactly, they are so narrow minded. They use that "bread winner" phrase to exonerate themselves. As if women aren't earning nowadays.
Some even take over completely when their husbands lose their job.

Rare cases

bettermike:


Eeyaaahhh.... Stop feeling sad... No need to cry.

Cry lol! you have no idea the type of man i am.

Go eat your dinner boy.

Toks2008 can't be any other thing than a neutered sellout who will trade likes for common sense.

Jaqenhghar:


Nairaland babes right now

[img]https://media1./images/6fbd2fc5d2b728c9478763961e811f6a/tenor.gif?itemid=4511874[/img]

Nairaland guys

[img]https://media1./images/9469fca67925d929d0c73f2c43bde161/tenor.gif?itemid=15158650[/img]

This cracked me up big time.

hashtagged:


Then the man does the babysitting and caring for kids

Although i havnt seen female breadwinners or they are extremely rare

You just want to lie bro.

Palema007:
You know just how impossible and untrue that is. Will men do that?
Yes female breadwinners aren't that rare, they exist and are very common.While some hardly show it to cover up for their husbands,some are very obvious.

However, I believe in a home where both parties provide, they should automatically do the chores together. That way no spouse will be over burdened or pushed to limits.

rare cases!

goshen26:
Well, the slavery nature is the reason why our mothers remain in their marriage till now while equality in marriage is why we have many broken homes these days

slavery nature? Their marriages lasted because they didn't have a choice to leave it. Is marriage a do or die affair? A woman might as well be with an abusive partner...

Rilwayne001:
Marriage, in the true sense of union, should never be a slavery business whereby one works his/her ass for the benefit of the other partner. However in a marriage setting, I do believe both parties in the union must bring something tangible to the table to make things balance. Also it's important that in a situation whereby things are not generally as balance as we'd want them to be, that love fills such void for it to be absolutely balance subjectively.

In my opinion, I believe, the man, aside being a natural provider of the family is also a natural protector of it. There are situation whereby the woman can take the former position, but can never take the latter position. The more reason why the man is very important leading wherever the boat of the marriage is going.

I believe a marriage whereby the man provides over 80% needs of the family, it is only logical that the woman provides something else in proper amount to complement the man's effort. For example, if the man pays the normal bills, house rent, foods, children fees etc, then it is pertinent on the woman to do something in proportion of what the man is doing. Of course you don't expect me to be carrying all these financial burdens and when the time to rest comes, I should start going about with kitchen duties or other house chores. Objectively it's not balance. And if the wife takes the position of doing all these house chores and taking care of the kids, that's not slavery but rather helping the husband.

But then a situation whereby the wife pays bills as much as the man, maybe splitting it or something, then of course, the whole burden of house duties cannot be rested on the woman, but an important point to note is that, she still has to do more of home duties than the husband, because already the husband is taking care of the family's protection, something the woman can never do.

Meanwhile, we don't expect all these to be balance, one way or the other it'll always be lopsided. What makes marriage fruitful and lasting is LOVE and RESPECT. If the love and respect are there, nothing will look like a burden on either part of the parties. However if one of these two things is missing, forget it, even if the wife turns a slave to the husband or the husband turns to satisfy his wife, the marriage would, Sooner rather than later, crash or be painful for both parties.

@ the bold, this protection you speak of, isn't that what single mothers and widows are doing on a daily? Can you see how flawed that statement is?

goshen26:



The SHALAYE of a thing by DORATHY is gaining momentum

Who is Dorathy??

debbleopto:


�buhari need go to kitchen and prepare food sometimes if he love his wide

Interesting.

Men with a very busy schedule should leave their compulsory official duties and come home to cook for the woman lounging all day at home netflixing.

Right?

Wow.

Palema007:
What happens in situations in which the woman is the bread winner, she provides and contribute to the family's finances.? Should she be left alone to do her supposed natural roles too?

May God not allow women to be breadwinners. Any man being fed by a woman is in hell. Fear women! Women's money belongs to them alone while the men's is for the entire family.

Men go and hustle, do not depend on women for your own life. If a woman feeds you for a week, the whole world must hear it and you will be treated and addressed as a dog. May God bless men's hustles, so they can always provide and take care of their families without waiting for their wives

Women will remind you that their simple responsibilities - cooking and taking care of the house, are slavery because you are poor. If you are rich they will not complain. I wish the roles could even be swapped. Be providing and be in charge of the family responsibilities let me be cooking.

LadySarah:


There are so many other ways to show ur quality.

Like how?? By gisting??

The society doesn't frown at it. I remember a time my kid sister visited me and I decided cooking sth for her. First thing a neighbor said when they saw me going to get the stuffs is 'you are the one cooking while your sister is around. If you now marry, your wife will be painting her nails and you'll be cooking.' This was coming from a woman who her husband uses as a punching bag yet she still cooks! I just smiled and left. I cannot enslave a wife. She is a helper and a better half!

stupid fool.dont come hear an mislead people.there are two different things between wife material and slave.you are the type of man that mislead women from been serious with their house work.me I assist my wife in house work so it is not new to me.i even do it better than she do which she knows about.so don't sound as if it new things encouraging women to be lazy in their matrimonial home.who quote me hug transformer

hashtagged:
Thats what women are meant to be, so if women arent slaves, men shouldnt be breadwinners, you put it like women doing house work is slavery, the men doing the breadwinning what is that called?

In a home

A womans job: cooking, caring for kids, child bearing, maintaning the home

A mans job: breadwinning, making money and provision for the family.

Isnt it balanced, OP you are just a simp, ass licking women wont get you anywhere, so you want men to make money and care for the home as women sit down and watch you(their slave) do everything up to washing their undies. Nonsense

The arrangement is fair enough if:

1. I won't have to lift a finger and earn any income for the family, and I will have enough to spend to meet all of my "reasonable" needs. Then,
2. If he will go out there and work his ass out to earn every penny that we will need to live in comfort.

But No! Nigerian men, you want slaves in the house who run double shifts. Domestic duties and Breadwinning duties. I've seen on many threads here how guys bash ladies who don't work and depend on men. You can't have your cake and eat it, it's either we're your house slaves and you're the sole breadwinners or we both win bread and slave it out. The truth is always bitter.

Fearlez:
Toks2008 can't be any other thing than a neutered sellout who will trade likes for common sense.

Exactly. Shamefully true.

Palema007:
Lol Don't take any banter you read between Afroknight and I seriously, most times we are just teasing. . Of course I can cook for my Man and I will not because it is my duty, but for the fact that I don't want him to starve and I am willing to. However, don't expect me to use grinding stone for pepper instead of blender or mortal and pestle when poundo yam is readily available (I can't even carry pestle self let alone pound ) But if he wants to eat original home made pounded yam, well I will help him cook, and as well make myself available to put the yam inside mortal while he pounds. I don try fah.. I can't come and die.

Well I'm not one who tries to impress people, if I cook for you as a male friend, it's not to prove anything. I will most likely do that to help his life but he will hear it sha.(I can tease well well ) . Lol as for your prayer, Not every man is self-centered, not every man is a glutton. Some men know there is more to life than Food, there is more to a woman than her cooking ability. Cooking is something any one can learn and get addicted too. So that's not something that can't be fixed.

Why are you calming down for him?
So, you have these good qualities and your former post didn't suggest that??

goshen26:
Well, the slavery nature is the reason why our mothers remain in their marriage till now while equality in marriage is why we have many broken homes these days


I helped my wife wella ; I do laundry, I cook once in a while, I even help bath our one year old baby, but that does not say I am not her head

You are doing well!!!
God bless you and your home.
I hope I see a good guy who rolls the same way.

DimIsaac10:
Our grand mother's n mothers are not complaining... Some ragamuffins just came from no where to start dictating the meaning of wife material....

Thats because they were not breadwinners and the country's economy is not as easy as it used to be. A man handling all the financial aspects of the home by himself will die before his time, unless he's in the top 50 highest earners.

placeofallure:


The arrangement is fair enough if:

1. I won't have to lift a finger and earn any income for the family, and I will have enough to spend to meet all of my "reasonable" needs. Then,
2. If he will go out there and work his ass out to earn every penny that we will need to live in comfort.

But No! Nigerian men, you want slaves in the house who run double shifts. Domestic duties and Breadwinning duties. I've seen on many threads here how guys bash ladies who don't work and depend on men. You can't have your cake and eat it, it's either we're your house slaves and you're the sole breadwinners or we both win bread and slave it out. The truth is always bitter.

Just say you are lazy. Simple.

You go tell your boss to reduce your workload because you a she.

Palema007:
Sometimes praises are traps! traps to confine you in specific position or to keep getting some benefits from you. I'm sometimes skeptical about praises from opposite genders, not all but most. The lady fell for it, while her husband may be truthful about the praises he used it to divert her attention from asking questions.While she carried on with the"I CAN DO IT ALL" mindset. Lol.

I feel sorry for her though, she might break down. How about a Maid, has she consider that?

How dare you interfere in People's marriage?? Analyst

A man that marries a woman financially more capable should get ready for a miserable life.
I don't think i can sleep well at night, with the thought that my wife is richer than i am.

WandaMaximoff:


So what if he's not the only one winning bread for the family?

Cause I know women these days also have jobs or businesses and contribute to the bread that I'd brought to the table.

I as a man work every day always ready to give everything. Barely have any thing that's mine, No one ever consider I need a shoe, shirt or even boxers. I try to remember everyones birthday, celebrations etc. No one knows when you sick or broke. I must contribute to every extended family needs. THINK I BEST DESCRIBE A SLAVE BUT I FEEL FULFILLED BECAUSE ITS MINE. ITS MY WIFE MY CHILDREN MY FAMILY. ITS MY JOY.

The day you appreciate your responsibilities, that's the day you qualify to be called married. Don't sit and count your suffering some ppl will appreciate that suffering.

Ask widows if they have gained freedom. As bad as your husband may be you would be skeptical if any widow or lady gives him attention.

eni4real:
Rare cases

Majority of the stores you patronize, who own them?
How many petty traders have you come across who are males?
In offices and banks and schools and every work place there is, aren't there women?
According to you, they are all single ladies?
Their earnings don't go into sustaining the family?
Women are sharing the responsibility of breadwinning. That's the gospel truth.
And you want to know why? Because no man wants a dependant females who needs financial assistance all the time.

Palema007:
Some people believe the old way of doing things is better. Pepper grinded with stones tastes better, hand washed clothes comes out cleaner, fresh foods tastes better than refrigerated ones etc. Some people like it the old way and you can't judge them for their choices, that's why it is advised that Traditional Man should go for Traditional Women (vice-versa) While Modern Men should go for Modern Women (vice-versa) to avoid stories that touch.

Fresh food actually taste better. Don't go away with that!!

Valid points but she MUST know how to cook!!!