₦airaland Forum

My take on this, to be brutally honest, is this. First, you have flouted the biblical and godly decree of "no sex before marriage". Secondly, you have been sampling guys like say na benddan boutique you dey. Whats that,eh? Thirdly, you are looking for a perfect combination of character plus money ontop. Babe, i dikwa very greedy. Have you ever considered your own character as well, if the perfect guy would like it? There's something I notice about women. They want it all without wanting to work for it. Eve met a perfect Adam, yet she spoiled it for him. Lastly, no man, or woman was born with perfect character. Its all in the training and environment they were brought up. You can help someone to become who you want them to be through patience, love and hardwork, virtues many ladies don't have. Finally, life is all about variety. You will be bored to discover that your guy is everything you are looking for, only to find out that variety is the spice of life.

LadySarah:
It's been a long time my head spinned. Lol.

I can't can at all. Goodluck to you on your selection journey.
I might say narrow them down to 2 or 3 and we can help out.Remove the family house one and the genotype one first.

It's not strange, it's what most of us experienced pre marriage.
I nfact after marriage a new set will come. The ones with very good spec.

Really? How did you handle it? Did you had a regret for not waiting a little while? Did it affect your relationship at home?

dallyemmy:
Ask God for guidance

There is no asking God in this mess

Typical Naija girl mentality.. everything is based on guys’m net worth.. whey seem to have now and their bank accounts.. How are about u? What are you bringing to the table?? Taker’s mentality.

Womaninherprime, this may help you a bit. In the end, the decision is yours. Once again, avoid genotype mismatch. It is not worth the stress,
you may end up hating each other.

Yoighaman:
@OP:
This your matter na real case study, couldn’t help but smile whilst reading other people’s comments but it is a serious matter that should not be swept under the carpet; at least that is why you have spoken up, so I’d try to give my little cent briefly.

Guy 1- Dubem: Let go of the relationship, the incompatibility in your genotypes will always rear its ugly head; why go through unnecessary stress?...and like you rightly mentioned, he could wake up one day and make a big deal out of it, citing his family as an excuse.

Guy 2- Nedu: To me, this seems to be the right guy for you and I’d like you to give him a chance. You see, a man that does not have money today can have tomorrow as long as he is ambitious and not lazy, forget about the hallucinations of other ladies, saying that they cannot date/marry a poor guy, blah, blah, blah. You can make money at any time; you can also have money today and lose it tomorrow but you see, those other qualities he has, my sister, they are very hard to come by.

Guy 3- Victor: This guy is arrogant; you will have issues with him later in future should you become more successful than he is. I can see you have great academic ambitions; this man will be intimidated and might make your life miserable. The misery would quadruple if you dare make/have more money than him.

Guy 4- Denver: I don’t have an issue with him having just an HND or not being in the corporate world, he is a businessman and can ‘blow’ tomorrow but my concern with him is that he is putting you under pressure; please take a walk, never marry anyone out of pity or pressure, you will regret it.

Guy 5:- Bright: Leave bright out of the picture, he is an unserious serial cheat, more of a playboy roaming around probably looking for whom to devour, such people can be on a revenge mission for rejecting their previous advances.

These are just my opinions, please pray to God if you believe in him, I do anyway; he (God) knows your future, I don’t, he is therefore in the best position to guide you.

Wish you all the best.

Only U 5,when others never see one,U dey mix okra,egusi,okazi,bitterleaf & gbegiri U are d problem not them,ma advice go for deliverance.

konkonbilo:
them suppose use this your story for Nollywood movie. I'm as confused as other readers. Best of luck in your search for your missing rib

Since when woman don start search for her missing rib? ...them need put manure for your brain.

Mid-20s is prime ?

Call Lawyer Kunle... He might be of help.

Yoighaman:
@OP:
This your matter na real case study, couldn’t help but smile whilst reading other people’s comments but it is a serious matter that should not be swept under the carpet; at least that is why you have spoken up, so I’d try to give my little cent briefly.

Guy 1- Dubem: Let go of the relationship, the incompatibility in your genotypes will always rear its ugly head; why go through unnecessary stress?...and like you rightly mentioned, he could wake up one day and make a big deal out of it, citing his family as an excuse.

Guy 2- Nedu: To me, this seems to be the right guy for you and I’d like you to give him a chance. You see, a man that does not have money today can have tomorrow as long as he is ambitious and not lazy, forget about the hallucinations of other ladies, saying that they cannot date/marry a poor guy, blah, blah, blah. You can make money at any time; you can also have money today and lose it tomorrow but you see, those other qualities he has, my sister, they are very hard to come by.

Guy 3- Victor: This guy is arrogant; you will have issues with him later in future should you become more successful than he is. I can see you have great academic ambitions; this man will be intimidated and might make your life miserable. The misery would quadruple if you dare make/have more money than him.

Guy 4- Denver: I don’t have an issue with him having just an HND or not being in the corporate world, he is a businessman and can ‘blow’ tomorrow but my concern with him is that he is putting you under pressure; please take a walk, never marry anyone out of pity or pressure, you will regret it.

Guy 5:- Bright: Leave bright out of the picture, he is an unserious serial cheat, more of a playboy roaming around probably looking for whom to devour, such people can be on a revenge mission for rejecting their previous advances.

These are just my opinions, please pray to God if you believe in him, I do anyway; he (God) knows your future, I don’t, he is therefore in the best position to guide you.

Wish you all the best.

I love you

Marry Nedu,

J111333:
...and these four guys will be somewhere right now bragging about my girlfriend.

Dubem sef, talking about IVF when he can't afford neither TV nor fridge. If only he knows the financial responsibilities involved.

You are truly confused. Lol, it's not Dubem that doesn't have TV o

CowbellY:
Mid-20s is prime ?

yes, she's correct

delkuf:
There is no asking God in this mess

Do you have the solution?

Get clay and mould a husband for yourself. Haba! only you?


Swerve abeg.

Let me go and continue this story. Will come back and give my final verdict.

Take all of them

[s]

WomaninherPrime:
Good evening house. Kindly read patiently. I promise to be as honest as possible.

I'm a young woman in her mid-20s. I've been in three relationships so far... two were sexual, and one was purely celibate, though it didn't last beyond 6 months.

I recently got out of a 2-yr relationship with Dubem when we discovered our genotype isn't compatible. But the problem is that we're still doing a lot of back and forth. Dubem wants the relationship to continue because he's working on how we'd have our babies via IVF or chorionic villi testing to first determine the sex of the baby.

This has put me in a very confusing situation because I'm unable to move on while he's still holding on for us... and at the same time, I just keep thinking about how life would be a lot easier if I'd just marry a genotype compatible man and have children the regular way without the stress and huge financial cost of an IVF.

To fully move on from Dubem, I started seeing other people..

Nedu is a very great guy... has everything I want in a man, but he's having some financial challenges right now. He's cute, godly, very intelligent, good humour, communicates very well, respectful, sound family values, neat, and seems to me like someone who can take charge of his home. But his financial situation gives me cause for concern... he doesn't seem like he'd be comfortably ready to start a family in another 2/3 years. But that aside, his condition just dampens my enthusiasm to even visit him or start a committed relationship with him. No TV or fridge in his apartment. I feel embarrassed/sorry for him when he has to go watch TV at his friend's or neighbour's... Or I'm thinking of cooking stuff to take to him... but no fridge to store. Joykiller. Or the fact that he can't be a support system to me at the moment...

There's also Victor who comes off as a great guy but I've refused to pay him enough attention all these months because I'm still entangled with Dubem. Victor is doing quite well, and is passionate about his job, but he likes to talk about himself way too much, and seems a bit arrogant. The vibes I get off him is that he tries to be at his best behaviour when he's with me, just to impress, but maybe he's real. While I don't like like him at the moment, I feel if I gave him a chance, I'd see some other aspects of him that would make me love him.

There's Denver on the other hand. Denver is an absolute gentle man... and doing fairly well with his business. I almost said yes to him, but I felt it was coming from the place of pressure. He was putting me under a lot of pressure to say yes... he wants to get married in a minute, but I'm still not resolved on marrying him. Plus he's from a polygamous family, and his plan is for us to live in his disputed family house if/when we get married, and I feel that comes with a lot of drama. Also, he's a bit lackadaisical about his wellbeing. He doesn't seem very tidy. His car always has things strung about. I worry, too about his level of education. He has just a HND and is not in the corporate world whereas I have serious plans to get either a double masters plus lots of certifications or a Ph.D I fear there might be some sort of incompatibility years down the line. Other than these concerns, Denver is a great guy.

Then there's Bright... I've known Bright since I was in uni... he was planning a surprise engagement once, when we weren't even dating. He's the most inconsistent and confused man I've ever met. He's consistent for a aweek or two, then goes off-radar only to resurface again after a few months. But somehow he seems to believe I'm the one who's never agreed to take him seriously. But how do I take a man who's inconsistent seriously? Ideally, he shouldn't be on this list because I long cancelled him... but he called this morning and we had a very long conversation... which was short of him pleading that I calm down and take him seriously so we can move to the next level.

Now the reason I created this thread. I like having a linear focus when I'm in a relationship, but I'm unable to leave Dubem because all these other guys have one issue or the other. No, I'm not looking for a perfect guy. Dubem isn't perfect, but we've come a long way, and we love each other, and we've come to accept and understand each other as we are.
I've become impatient... I feel like I'm at the prime of my life as a woman, and I have other suitors to choose from but I'm holding on to a very precarious relationship. Dubem might as well just wake up one day and decide that our genotype incompatibility is a big deal and we should see other people... at that time, one year of my life would have gone by...these great guys would have probably moved on, too. A woman's hotcake period is fleeting. For my personal plans, I'd love to be married by next year.


Ohh. I mentioned the thing about my two sexual relationships because I made a hasty vow to God once that I wouldn't have sex with more than two men before getting married. I don't know ...God is a merciful God, yeah...But that vow still pops up in my mind now and again. So I can't go into any careless relationship, and now I can't choose.

I'm honestly confused �.

[/s]

Fake made up story

You tried too hard

Fake very fake

What is the name of this Nollywood movie


Anyway keep sharing your Akara to men until u finish all the ingredients in you and you will be throw to the dogs out there to finish up

What and what are you trying to say?

WomaninherPrime:
Good evening house. Kindly read patiently. I promise to be as honest as possible.

I'm a young woman in her mid-20s. I've been in three relationships so far... two were sexual, and one was purely celibate, though it didn't last beyond 6 months.

I recently got out of a 2-yr relationship with Dubem when we discovered our genotype isn't compatible. But the problem is that we're still doing a lot of back and forth. Dubem wants the relationship to continue because he's working on how we'd have our babies via IVF or chorionic villi testing to first determine the sex of the baby.

This has put me in a very confusing situation because I'm unable to move on while he's still holding on for us... and at the same time, I just keep thinking about how life would be a lot easier if I'd just marry a genotype compatible man and have children the regular way without the stress and huge financial cost of an IVF.

To fully move on from Dubem, I started seeing other people..

Nedu is a very great guy... has everything I want in a man, but he's having some financial challenges right now. He's cute, godly, very intelligent, good humour, communicates very well, respectful, sound family values, neat, and seems to me like someone who can take charge of his home. But his financial situation gives me cause for concern... he doesn't seem like he'd be comfortably ready to start a family in another 2/3 years. But that aside, his condition just dampens my enthusiasm to even visit him or start a committed relationship with him. No TV or fridge in his apartment. I feel embarrassed/sorry for him when he has to go watch TV at his friend's or neighbour's... Or I'm thinking of cooking stuff to take to him... but no fridge to store. Joykiller. Or the fact that he can't be a support system to me at the moment...

There's also Victor who comes off as a great guy but I've refused to pay him enough attention all these months because I'm still entangled with Dubem. Victor is doing quite well, and is passionate about his job, but he likes to talk about himself way too much, and seems a bit arrogant. The vibes I get off him is that he tries to be at his best behaviour when he's with me, just to impress, but maybe he's real. While I don't like like him at the moment, I feel if I gave him a chance, I'd see some other aspects of him that would make me love him.

There's Denver on the other hand. Denver is an absolute gentle man... and doing fairly well with his business. I almost said yes to him, but I felt it was coming from the place of pressure. He was putting me under a lot of pressure to say yes... he wants to get married in a minute, but I'm still not resolved on marrying him. Plus he's from a polygamous family, and his plan is for us to live in his disputed family house if/when we get married, and I feel that comes with a lot of drama. Also, he's a bit lackadaisical about his wellbeing. He doesn't seem very tidy. His car always has things strung about. I worry, too about his level of education. He has just a HND and is not in the corporate world whereas I have serious plans to get either a double masters plus lots of certifications or a Ph.D I fear there might be some sort of incompatibility years down the line. Other than these concerns, Denver is a great guy.

Then there's Bright... I've known Bright since I was in uni... he was planning a surprise engagement once, when we weren't even dating. He's the most inconsistent and confused man I've ever met. He's consistent for a aweek or two, then goes off-radar only to resurface again after a few months. But somehow he seems to believe I'm the one who's never agreed to take him seriously. But how do I take a man who's inconsistent seriously? Ideally, he shouldn't be on this list because I long cancelled him... but he called this morning and we had a very long conversation... which was short of him pleading that I calm down and take him seriously so we can move to the next level.

Now the reason I created this thread. I like having a linear focus when I'm in a relationship, but I'm unable to leave Dubem because all these other guys have one issue or the other. No, I'm not looking for a perfect guy. Dubem isn't perfect, but we've come a long way, and we love each other, and we've come to accept and understand each other as we are.
I've become impatient... I feel like I'm at the prime of my life as a woman, and I have other suitors to choose from but I'm holding on to a very precarious relationship. Dubem might as well just wake up one day and decide that our genotype incompatibility is a big deal and we should see other people... at that time, one year of my life would have gone by...these great guys would have probably moved on, too. A woman's hotcake period is fleeting. For my personal plans, I'd love to be married by next year.


Ohh. I mentioned the thing about my two sexual relationships because I made a hasty vow to God once that I wouldn't have sex with more than two men before getting married. I don't know ...God is a merciful God, yeah...But that vow still pops up in my mind now and again. So I can't go into any careless relationship, and now I can't choose.

I'm honestly confused �.

I think you should let every one of them go.
No pressure, nothing.
The fact that you have misgivings about all of them speaks volumes.
From your post, you said you have dreams for your career and education. A double masters etc, I believe in the line of fulfilling your dreams, you will find the one He truly intends for you.
Maybe just maybe, a committed relationship is not what you really need right now
Ps: I love your commitment to your vow. God bless you

Yoighaman:
@OP:
This your matter na real case study, couldn’t help but smile whilst reading other people’s comments but it is a serious matter that should not be swept under the carpet; at least that is why you have spoken up, so I’d try to give my little cent briefly.

Guy 1- Dubem: Let go of the relationship, the incompatibility in your genotypes will always rear its ugly head; why go through unnecessary stress?...and like you rightly mentioned, he could wake up one day and make a big deal out of it, citing his family as an excuse.

Guy 2- Nedu: To me, this seems to be the right guy for you and I’d like you to give him a chance. You see, a man that does not have money today can have tomorrow as long as he is ambitious and not lazy, forget about the hallucinations of other ladies, saying that they cannot date/marry a poor guy, blah, blah, blah. You can make money at any time; you can also have money today and lose it tomorrow but you see, those other qualities he has, my sister, they are very hard to come by.

Guy 3- Victor: This guy is arrogant; you will have issues with him later in future should you become more successful than he is. I can see you have great academic ambitions; this man will be intimidated and might make your life miserable. The misery would quadruple if you dare make/have more money than him.

Guy 4- Denver: I don’t have an issue with him having just an HND or not being in the corporate world, he is a businessman and can ‘blow’ tomorrow but my concern with him is that he is putting you under pressure; please take a walk, never marry anyone out of pity or pressure, you will regret it.

Guy 5:- Bright: Leave bright out of the picture, he is an unserious serial cheat, more of a playboy roaming around probably looking for whom to devour, such people can be on a revenge mission for rejecting their previous advances.

These are just my opinions, please pray to God if you believe in him, I do anyway; he (God) knows your future, I don’t, he is therefore in the best position to guide you.

Wish you all the best.

The only unconfused person apart from me. Your advise is top notch.

My only advice for you is that never marry a man from polygamous family and never allow your relatives to marry from polygamous family.

You are very confused

Yoighaman:
@OP:
This your matter na real case study, couldn’t help but smile whilst reading other people’s comments but it is a serious matter that should not be swept under the carpet; at least that is why you have spoken up, so I’d try to give my little cent briefly.

Guy 1- Dubem: Let go of the relationship, the incompatibility in your genotypes will always rear its ugly head; why go through unnecessary stress?...and like you rightly mentioned, he could wake up one day and make a big deal out of it, citing his family as an excuse.

Guy 2- Nedu: To me, this seems to be the right guy for you and I’d like you to give him a chance. You see, a man that does not have money today can have tomorrow as long as he is ambitious and not lazy, forget about the hallucinations of other ladies, saying that they cannot date/marry a poor guy, blah, blah, blah. You can make money at any time; you can also have money today and lose it tomorrow but you see, those other qualities he has, my sister, they are very hard to come by.

Guy 3- Victor: This guy is arrogant; you will have issues with him later in future should you become more successful than he is. I can see you have great academic ambitions; this man will be intimidated and might make your life miserable. The misery would quadruple if you dare make/have more money than him.

Guy 4- Denver: I don’t have an issue with him having just an HND or not being in the corporate world, he is a businessman and can ‘blow’ tomorrow but my concern with him is that he is putting you under pressure; please take a walk, never marry anyone out of pity or pressure, you will regret it.

Guy 5:- Bright: Leave bright out of the picture, he is an unserious serial cheat, more of a playboy roaming around probably looking for whom to devour, such people can be on a revenge mission for rejecting their previous advances.

These are just my opinions, please pray to God if you believe in him, I do anyway; he (God) knows your future, I don’t, he is therefore in the best position to guide you.

Wish you all the best.

Seconded..

Meanwhile, Baba you try oo. You can easily govern this country carrying every tribe along easily. Kudos to you sir

WomaninherPrime:
Good evening house. Kindly read patiently. I promise to be as honest as possible.

I'm a young woman in her mid-20s. I've been in three relationships so far... two were sexual, and one was purely celibate, though it didn't last beyond 6 months.

I recently got out of a 2-yr relationship with Dubem when we discovered our genotype isn't compatible. But the problem is that we're still doing a lot of back and forth. Dubem wants the relationship to continue because he's working on how we'd have our babies via IVF or chorionic villi testing to first determine the sex of the baby.

This has put me in a very confusing situation because I'm unable to move on while he's still holding on for us... and at the same time, I just keep thinking about how life would be a lot easier if I'd just marry a genotype compatible man and have children the regular way without the stress and huge financial cost of an IVF.

To fully move on from Dubem, I started seeing other people..

Nedu is a very great guy... has everything I want in a man, but he's having some financial challenges right now. He's cute, godly, very intelligent, good humour, communicates very well, respectful, sound family values, neat, and seems to me like someone who can take charge of his home. But his financial situation gives me cause for concern... he doesn't seem like he'd be comfortably ready to start a family in another 2/3 years. But that aside, his condition just dampens my enthusiasm to even visit him or start a committed relationship with him. No TV or fridge in his apartment. I feel embarrassed/sorry for him when he has to go watch TV at his friend's or neighbour's... Or I'm thinking of cooking stuff to take to him... but no fridge to store. Joykiller. Or the fact that he can't be a support system to me at the moment...

There's also Victor who comes off as a great guy but I've refused to pay him enough attention all these months because I'm still entangled with Dubem. Victor is doing quite well, and is passionate about his job, but he likes to talk about himself way too much, and seems a bit arrogant. The vibes I get off him is that he tries to be at his best behaviour when he's with me, just to impress, but maybe he's real. While I don't like like him at the moment, I feel if I gave him a chance, I'd see some other aspects of him that would make me love him.

There's Denver on the other hand. Denver is an absolute gentle man... and doing fairly well with his business. I almost said yes to him, but I felt it was coming from the place of pressure. He was putting me under a lot of pressure to say yes... he wants to get married in a minute, but I'm still not resolved on marrying him. Plus he's from a polygamous family, and his plan is for us to live in his disputed family house if/when we get married, and I feel that comes with a lot of drama. Also, he's a bit lackadaisical about his wellbeing. He doesn't seem very tidy. His car always has things strung about. I worry, too about his level of education. He has just a HND and is not in the corporate world whereas I have serious plans to get either a double masters plus lots of certifications or a Ph.D I fear there might be some sort of incompatibility years down the line. Other than these concerns, Denver is a great guy.

Then there's Bright... I've known Bright since I was in uni... he was planning a surprise engagement once, when we weren't even dating. He's the most inconsistent and confused man I've ever met. He's consistent for a aweek or two, then goes off-radar only to resurface again after a few months. But somehow he seems to believe I'm the one who's never agreed to take him seriously. But how do I take a man who's inconsistent seriously? Ideally, he shouldn't be on this list because I long cancelled him... but he called this morning and we had a very long conversation... which was short of him pleading that I calm down and take him seriously so we can move to the next level.

Now the reason I created this thread. I like having a linear focus when I'm in a relationship, but I'm unable to leave Dubem because all these other guys have one issue or the other. No, I'm not looking for a perfect guy. Dubem isn't perfect, but we've come a long way, and we love each other, and we've come to accept and understand each other as we are.
I've become impatient... I feel like I'm at the prime of my life as a woman, and I have other suitors to choose from but I'm holding on to a very precarious relationship. Dubem might as well just wake up one day and decide that our genotype incompatibility is a big deal and we should see other people... at that time, one year of my life would have gone by...these great guys would have probably moved on, too. A woman's hotcake period is fleeting. For my personal plans, I'd love to be married by next year.


Ohh. I mentioned the thing about my two sexual relationships because I made a hasty vow to God once that I wouldn't have sex with more than two men before getting married. I don't know ...God is a merciful God, yeah...But that vow still pops up in my mind now and again. So I can't go into any careless relationship, and now I can't choose.

I'm honestly confused �.

Your thread is full of shit: "I mentioned the thing about my two sexual relationships because I made a hasty vow to God once that I wouldn't have sex with more than two men before getting married". You call this a vow? Are you making mockery of God? Like seriously... If I were to be your maker, I'll forgive a repentant prostitute before forgiving you. This generation should learn to fear & reverence Almighty God. Good luck with your marital choice.

Even our general oversea can not give advice on this issue

From the write up, I don't think you like any of them except Duben. Don't be in a rush, wait until you find someone her heart fully accepts, to avoid regrets.

WomaninherPrime:
Good evening house. Kindly read patiently. I promise to be as honest as possible.

I'm a young woman in her mid-20s. I've been in three relationships so far... two were sexual, and one was purely celibate, though it didn't last beyond 6 months.

I recently got out of a 2-yr relationship with Dubem when we discovered our genotype isn't compatible. But the problem is that we're still doing a lot of back and forth. Dubem wants the relationship to continue because he's working on how we'd have our babies via IVF or chorionic villi testing to first determine the sex of the baby.

This has put me in a very confusing situation because I'm unable to move on while he's still holding on for us... and at the same time, I just keep thinking about how life would be a lot easier if I'd just marry a genotype compatible man and have children the regular way without the stress and huge financial cost of an IVF.

To fully move on from Dubem, I started seeing other people..

Nedu is a very great guy... has everything I want in a man, but he's having some financial challenges right now. He's cute, godly, very intelligent, good humour, communicates very well, respectful, sound family values, neat, and seems to me like someone who can take charge of his home. But his financial situation gives me cause for concern... he doesn't seem like he'd be comfortably ready to start a family in another 2/3 years. But that aside, his condition just dampens my enthusiasm to even visit him or start a committed relationship with him. No TV or fridge in his apartment. I feel embarrassed/sorry for him when he has to go watch TV at his friend's or neighbour's... Or I'm thinking of cooking stuff to take to him... but no fridge to store. Joykiller. Or the fact that he can't be a support system to me at the moment...

There's also Victor who comes off as a great guy but I've refused to pay him enough attention all these months because I'm still entangled with Dubem. Victor is doing quite well, and is passionate about his job, but he likes to talk about himself way too much, and seems a bit arrogant. The vibes I get off him is that he tries to be at his best behaviour when he's with me, just to impress, but maybe he's real. While I don't like like him at the moment, I feel if I gave him a chance, I'd see some other aspects of him that would make me love him.

There's Denver on the other hand. Denver is an absolute gentle man... and doing fairly well with his business. I almost said yes to him, but I felt it was coming from the place of pressure. He was putting me under a lot of pressure to say yes... he wants to get married in a minute, but I'm still not resolved on marrying him. Plus he's from a polygamous family, and his plan is for us to live in his disputed family house if/when we get married, and I feel that comes with a lot of drama. Also, he's a bit lackadaisical about his wellbeing. He doesn't seem very tidy. His car always has things strung about. I worry, too about his level of education. He has just a HND and is not in the corporate world whereas I have serious plans to get either a double masters plus lots of certifications or a Ph.D I fear there might be some sort of incompatibility years down the line. Other than these concerns, Denver is a great guy.

Then there's Bright... I've known Bright since I was in uni... he was planning a surprise engagement once, when we weren't even dating. He's the most inconsistent and confused man I've ever met. He's consistent for a aweek or two, then goes off-radar only to resurface again after a few months. But somehow he seems to believe I'm the one who's never agreed to take him seriously. But how do I take a man who's inconsistent seriously? Ideally, he shouldn't be on this list because I long cancelled him... but he called this morning and we had a very long conversation... which was short of him pleading that I calm down and take him seriously so we can move to the next level.

Now the reason I created this thread. I like having a linear focus when I'm in a relationship, but I'm unable to leave Dubem because all these other guys have one issue or the other. No, I'm not looking for a perfect guy. Dubem isn't perfect, but we've come a long way, and we love each other, and we've come to accept and understand each other as we are.
I've become impatient... I feel like I'm at the prime of my life as a woman, and I have other suitors to choose from but I'm holding on to a very precarious relationship. Dubem might as well just wake up one day and decide that our genotype incompatibility is a big deal and we should see other people... at that time, one year of my life would have gone by...these great guys would have probably moved on, too. A woman's hotcake period is fleeting. For my personal plans, I'd love to be married by next year.


Ohh. I mentioned the thing about my two sexual relationships because I made a hasty vow to God once that I wouldn't have sex with more than two men before getting married. I don't know ...God is a merciful God, yeah...But that vow still pops up in my mind now and again. So I can't go into any careless relationship, and now I can't choose.

I'm honestly confused �.

Deltoid:
They may not be able to do it every time, plus the stress they will go tru.

If all they put tru first is family first (not their self-interest), then they should avoid each other

True! Looks like I'm feeling sorry for them having known each other longest

Lol... See how op confused everyone with her confusion.
I had to be going back to the from time to time to know who possess what so I can direct my judgement and advice accordingly but y'all know what? I'm totally confused hence have no advice to give to the op.

Each one would carry his/her own load. Use your head though, don't mix temporary situations with permanent ones.

Someone with no fridge/tv today can buy expensive ones tomorrow. Having just a HND is not a disability either, many persons end up working in a field different from what we studied. Personality would hardly change in an adult, and genotype is for life.

The big question in all this is, are you even the right woman for any of them? What do you have to offer them in a marriage? Are you a multiplier or a drain on a man's resources? If the latter, they are better off without you.

Stop dating 5 men at the same time though. If it was your man dating 5 ladies because he wasn't sure who to choose, you'd have called it cheating and asked why men cheat.

See as pipu dey do kalo kalo dey choose which numba dice go roll. Mtchwwwwwww, as if life get formula. Let dem pick for u ohhhh, cuz na dem go dey inside d marriage wen kasala burst . I can't tell who go blow las las. So, me I wee juz advice u to marry d 5 of dem togeda. Daz d best way to play safe

Juliusmomoh:
Instead of looking for CHRIST, u are looking for a man..

If you don't get out of here.... Na CHRIST she go marry take born pikin abi?

Na their type worst pass