May the light of your life always shine brighter. When you need to make critical decisions in life, the Almighty God will unfailingly make you choose what is best for your life.
Thank you.

Yoighaman:
@OP:
This your matter na real case study, couldn’t help but smile whilst reading other people’s comments but it is a serious matter that should not be swept under the carpet; at least that is why you have spoken up, so I’d try to give my little cent briefly.

Guy 1- Dubem: Let go of the relationship, the incompatibility in your genotypes will always rear its ugly head; why go through unnecessary stress?...and like you rightly mentioned, he could wake up one day and make a big deal out of it, citing his family as an excuse.

Guy 2- Nedu: To me, this seems to be the right guy for you and I’d like you to give him a chance. You see, a man that does not have money today can have tomorrow as long as he is ambitious and not lazy, forget about the hallucinations of other ladies, saying that they cannot date/marry a poor guy, blah, blah, blah. You can make money at any time; you can also have money today and lose it tomorrow but you see, those other qualities he has, my sister, they are very hard to come by.

Guy 3- Victor: This guy is arrogant; you will have issues with him later in future should you become more successful than he is. I can see you have great academic ambitions; this man will be intimidated and might make your life miserable. The misery would quadruple if you dare make/have more money than him.

Guy 4- Denver: I don’t have an issue with him having just an HND or not being in the corporate world, he is a businessman and can ‘blow’ tomorrow but my concern with him is that he is putting you under pressure; please take a walk, never marry anyone out of pity or pressure, you will regret it.

Guy 5:- Bright: Leave bright out of the picture, he is an unserious serial cheat, more of a playboy roaming around probably looking for whom to devour, such people can be on a revenge mission for rejecting their previous advances.

These are just my opinions, please pray to God if you believe in him, I do anyway; he (God) knows your future, I don’t, he is therefore in the best position to guide you.

Wish you all the best.

Dis 1 na ashawo, he likes all of them,dubem dey Bleep am well,still get money join am but dey are not compatible, knowing dis,dubem also enjoying fucking her,so to continue the fucking Adventure with this confuse girl, dubem dey scope am with ivf package.....see guy wey na get money but Sabi Bleep,he na get tv,fridge but he is good on bed.....yeye girl.u go soon turn evening news paper, continue hen

Because you are confussed mistakes are bound to occure. The decision you make now will either make you or break you to pieces. Go to God in prayer with a sinceer heart, you will find the answer through his word and revelation.

WomaninherPrime:

Send me a WhatsApp message: 0814.727.6648.

I will help you.

Thanks.

WomaninherPrime:
Good evening house. Kindly read patiently. I promise to be as honest as possible.

I'm a young woman in her mid-20s. I've been in three relationships so far... two were sexual, and one was purely celibate, though it didn't last beyond 6 months.

I recently got out of a 2-yr relationship with Dubem when we discovered our genotype isn't compatible. But the problem is that we're still doing a lot of back and forth. Dubem wants the relationship to continue because he's working on how we'd have our babies via IVF or chorionic villi testing to first determine the sex of the baby.

This has put me in a very confusing situation because I'm unable to move on while he's still holding on for us... and at the same time, I just keep thinking about how life would be a lot easier if I'd just marry a genotype compatible man and have children the regular way without the stress and huge financial cost of an IVF.

To fully move on from Dubem, I started seeing other people..

Nedu is a very great guy... has everything I want in a man, but he's having some financial challenges right now. He's cute, godly, very intelligent, good humour, communicates very well, respectful, sound family values, neat, and seems to me like someone who can take charge of his home. But his financial situation gives me cause for concern... he doesn't seem like he'd be comfortably ready to start a family in another 2/3 years. But that aside, his condition just dampens my enthusiasm to even visit him or start a committed relationship with him. No TV or fridge in his apartment. I feel embarrassed/sorry for him when he has to go watch TV at his friend's or neighbour's... Or I'm thinking of cooking stuff to take to him... but no fridge to store. Joykiller. Or the fact that he can't be a support system to me at the moment...

There's also Victor who comes off as a great guy but I've refused to pay him enough attention all these months because I'm still entangled with Dubem. Victor is doing quite well, and is passionate about his job, but he likes to talk about himself way too much, and seems a bit arrogant. The vibes I get off him is that he tries to be at his best behaviour when he's with me, just to impress, but maybe he's real. While I don't like like him at the moment, I feel if I gave him a chance, I'd see some other aspects of him that would make me love him.

There's Denver on the other hand. Denver is an absolute gentle man... and doing fairly well with his business. I almost said yes to him, but I felt it was coming from the place of pressure. He was putting me under a lot of pressure to say yes... he wants to get married in a minute, but I'm still not resolved on marrying him. Plus he's from a polygamous family, and his plan is for us to live in his disputed family house if/when we get married, and I feel that comes with a lot of drama. Also, he's a bit lackadaisical about his wellbeing. He doesn't seem very tidy. His car always has things strung about. I worry, too about his level of education. He has just a HND and is not in the corporate world whereas I have serious plans to get either a double masters plus lots of certifications or a Ph.D I fear there might be some sort of incompatibility years down the line. Other than these concerns, Denver is a great guy.

Then there's Bright... I've known Bright since I was in uni... he was planning a surprise engagement once, when we weren't even dating. He's the most inconsistent and confused man I've ever met. He's consistent for a aweek or two, then goes off-radar only to resurface again after a few months. But somehow he seems to believe I'm the one who's never agreed to take him seriously. But how do I take a man who's inconsistent seriously? Ideally, he shouldn't be on this list because I long cancelled him... but he called this morning and we had a very long conversation... which was short of him pleading that I calm down and take him seriously so we can move to the next level.

Now the reason I created this thread. I like having a linear focus when I'm in a relationship, but I'm unable to leave Dubem because all these other guys have one issue or the other. No, I'm not looking for a perfect guy. Dubem isn't perfect, but we've come a long way, and we love each other, and we've come to accept and understand each other as we are.
I've become impatient... I feel like I'm at the prime of my life as a woman, and I have other suitors to choose from but I'm holding on to a very precarious relationship. Dubem might as well just wake up one day and decide that our genotype incompatibility is a big deal and we should see other people... at that time, one year of my life would have gone by...these great guys would have probably moved on, too. A woman's hotcake period is fleeting. For my personal plans, I'd love to be married by next year.


Ohh. I mentioned the thing about my two sexual relationships because I made a hasty vow to God once that I wouldn't have sex with more than two men before getting married. I don't know ...God is a merciful God, yeah...But that vow still pops up in my mind now and again. So I can't go into any careless relationship, and now I can't choose.

I'm honestly confused �.

I know u won't like my advice....


Well, if the Nedu (broke) has some kind of future, I mean if he has something that could give him future I. e Good Education, Trade or Learnt a skill, then go with him, it might not be good now but it will be good later


If u know wat parent with Genotype issue face you won't try it... Technology might be a solution, but why not save ur self stress.


As per the self centred guy, it does suit well in marriage. Marriage is good when other person is placed above your personal.



Pray, cos God still in business of guiding people rightly

WomaninherPrime:


Thanks so much for this. Denver's family house isn't occupied by other family members, though. He lives there alone, just that the relatives keep making claims to it.

For Bright, in all honesty, I have no idea what his problem is. He really was planning an engagement dinner... His friend gave me the gist first. I'm even tired trying to rationalise what hus problem is. He just won't put effort into going for what he wants. He wants me to make it easy for him by being compliant and reciprocating his advances even though they are half-hearted.

Nedu is working, actually, and has prospects. Perhaps I'm just too concerned about his present situation. He can't do half of what Dubem would typically do for me... the standard of living and courting that I've become used to. Yeah, I shouldn't compare. But the readaptation would be a real test! I thought I had left all those "the future will be bright kinda relationship" in uni.

Perhaps my prayer should be the patience to build with Nedu... but I've built enough, haven't I? My first ex and Dubem, I started dating them in their days of little beginning until they became really comfortable... perhaps it's why Dubem is always going the extra mile for me and spoils me... But to go back to that building-from-scratch life again with Nedu... drains the energy in me.

Sorry ma'am I'm just reading comments to your sensitive post but this your last paragraph caught my eye... Don't you know from the on set that your genotype with dubem isn't compatible before starting with him from the scratch... I'm pretty sure you get your hopes high and careless to look into his genotype!!

You are what u say about urself! Y do u think geno-type can alter your marriage? When God gave Adam Eve,did He(God) considered genotype? It's because u'r nunchallant to d bible! Don't habour negative thoughts! Who say u can't give birth d normal way? Juts commit ur case to God and marry Dubem! With all things are Possible(Luke 1 vs 37).

Yoighaman:
@OP:
This your matter na real case study, couldn’t help but smile whilst reading other people’s comments but it is a serious matter that should not be swept under the carpet; at least that is why you have spoken up, so I’d try to give my little cent briefly.

Guy 1- Dubem: Let go of the relationship, the incompatibility in your genotypes will always rear its ugly head; why go through unnecessary stress?...and like you rightly mentioned, he could wake up one day and make a big deal out of it, citing his family as an excuse.

Guy 2- Nedu: To me, this seems to be the right guy for you and I’d like you to give him a chance. You see, a man that does not have money today can have tomorrow as long as he is ambitious and not lazy, forget about the hallucinations of other ladies, saying that they cannot date/marry a poor guy, blah, blah, blah. You can make money at any time; you can also have money today and lose it tomorrow but you see, those other qualities he has, my sister, they are very hard to come by.

Guy 3- Victor: This guy is arrogant; you will have issues with him later in future should you become more successful than he is. I can see you have great academic ambitions; this man will be intimidated and might make your life miserable. The misery would quadruple if you dare make/have more money than him.

Guy 4- Denver: I don’t have an issue with him having just an HND or not being in the corporate world, he is a businessman and can ‘blow’ tomorrow but my concern with him is that he is putting you under pressure; please take a walk, never marry anyone out of pity or pressure, you will regret it.

Guy 5:- Bright: Leave bright out of the picture, he is an unserious serial cheat, more of a playboy roaming around probably looking for whom to devour, such people can be on a revenge mission for rejecting their previous advances.

These are just my opinions, please pray to God if you believe in him, I do anyway; he (God) knows your future, I don’t, he is therefore in the best position to guide you.

Wish you all the best.

Bravo bro!!

Female dating strategy... abundance mindset, something men should learn.

konkonbilo:
them suppose use this your story for Nollywood movie. I'm as confused as other readers. Best of luck in your search for your missing rib

She is the one missing not the RIB...hahahahah

First and foremost, your case is not really a serious one if you can just cool down and itemize what u really want for urself.... It really goes beyond material things and mere affection. Now let me underline the pro and cons of each and everyone of them one after the other.....

I think it's high time u took a concrete stand on the issue of dubem. Don't let love cover your eyes to making a mistake. What if at the event of you giving birth he's not financially buoyant to take care of the proposed kind of treatment he promised, what if those modes of giving birth failed it's better now you just let go of him than doing something you'll eternally regret.

To Nedu, the fact that he doesn't have a fridge or TV today doesn't mean he can't own a fridge or TV factory tomorrow. Have u looked into his visions and ambitions, is he someone that's comfortable with his present condition or someone that's the everything possible to get out the condition and be a better person. Check what drives him and not what he's driving... I think his vision mission and prospects tells alot about who he's gonna become and not necessarily what or who he is now.... Read most of the feet people we celebrate today some couldn't even afford a decent meal or roof over their head but many years down the line they are being celebrated all through the world. Though everything boils down to God's grace and our own personal consistency and not being satisfied with our present condition

To Victor... I think pride is one of the issue that can destroy a marriage. Mind u, pride is of different types and our definition for pride differs... He really might not be proud just that he loves what he's doing so much, he has so much passion for it and would always love to talk about it even amidst his friends... Though I'd love to have a more clarification on ur definition of his pride.

To Denver, I think the fact that he wants u to live in his family home makes him u serious.... Infact no man in his right thinking would live under his parent home when he's married not to talk of when it's even a polygamous home. BE PREPARED FOR DAILY DRAMA. Though I have no issue with him being a HND holder and not in the corporate world. Infact there are lots of opportunities outside of the corporate world and the urge to being in a corporate world is the reason many didn't maximize their potentials and they remain poor. Now what's the assurance that even if you marry a professor he'd want u to even have a master's degree. What's the assurance that even when u have all those certificates he'd not clip ur Wong and deter u from flying high. I think everything boils down to the personality of the man.

To Bright, I think you should study him the more engage him in more life decisions discussions and see his response to it. It shouldn't be as he's unserious with relationship he's equally on serious with life. Though many a times, many a people do not really take relationship serious especially when they are career oriented... It may be that he's been carried away by his dreams and once in a while when he remembers he'd have to settle with someone one-day that's when he'll remember you and he'll come knocking and in the same vein, it might be he's a womanizer... When one lady breaks his heart that's when he will remember you. Or maybe he just want to use u to catch cruise self anytime he's Hot....

My one cent to you.

My dear you are looking for an ideal guy (100'/,) and it's not possible because we are not in an ideal world. Just look for a guy that can meet up to 80'/,- 90'/, percentage of your taste and then complement him with the remaining percentage to make it 100'/,. God will help you.

JAOS:
so nobody here can give answers to the girl and i thought you all are smart,well to the next person to comment,,,,,

the girl is confused.. she should go an marry God abeg.. I stopped reading when she said.. the guy has only hnd and shes thinking of getting double masters

Nne you get serious problem....Make i no lie you need Jesus

Dear OP,
Your story sounds like a scripted thing....one for movies! Anyway, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.
1. The no TV and No Fridge in house guy.
If the tables are turned and he acquires those things, would you marry him?
2. Yes? You would? So you would marry him because of material possessions?
3. Don't you ever think both of you can really work together towards acquiring TV and Fridge? Or other valuables?
4. Try and seek other motivations to love someone not just materialistic or mundane ones.
5. Fridge, TV, gas cookers, Acs, are necessary but would that really stop someone from considering marriage?
6. What you should be worried about is if he can sustain a family in any way?
7. Even if he may not have a job at the moment, but does he has potentials? Can he sell? Reason along those lines.
8. It's easier to buy "akara" and eat once it's ready but ladies these days would not want to make the akara from beans. It's a tedious process but the end product is cool too.
9. Finally, you've brought them to the table, we've accessed their credentials. Tell us about you. Maybe you're a star! Hence, you want an equivalent. Your type. Think.

Remove the one you least care about from the list and create a semi final table for the remaining four then come back for our verdicts.

Draw a scale of preference.
This I can cope with this I can't .....n when you are done u put fear aside n go on ur knees.
And after that u go ahead.
You seem to what too much, some qualities contradict them selves in men, so do urself the favour to draw ur scale.
Have a nice day

lacasera14:
In the bid to get out of your confusion, you ended up confusing everyone. It is well.

[color=#000099][/color] that is.. I don't even know where to start

this life no balance atol

Cmeo:


The only unconfused person apart from me. Your advise is top notch.

Abbeylanre15:



Seconded..

Meanwhile, Baba you try oo. You can easily govern this country carrying every tribe along easily. Kudos to you sir

Yoighaman:
@OP:
This your matter na real case study, couldn’t help but smile whilst reading other people’s comments but it is a serious matter that should not be swept under the carpet; at least that is why you have spoken up, so I’d try to give my little cent briefly.

Guy 1- Dubem: Let go of the relationship, the incompatibility in your genotypes will always rear its ugly head; why go through unnecessary stress?...and like you rightly mentioned, he could wake up one day and make a big deal out of it, citing his family as an excuse.

Guy 2- Nedu: To me, this seems to be the right guy for you and I’d like you to give him a chance. You see, a man that does not have money today can have tomorrow as long as he is ambitious and not lazy, forget about the hallucinations of other ladies, saying that they cannot date/marry a poor guy, blah, blah, blah. You can make money at any time; you can also have money today and lose it tomorrow but you see, those other qualities he has, my sister, they are very hard to come by.

Guy 3- Victor: This guy is arrogant; you will have issues with him later in future should you become more successful than he is. I can see you have great academic ambitions; this man will be intimidated and might make your life miserable. The misery would quadruple if you dare make/have more money than him.

Guy 4- Denver: I don’t have an issue with him having just an HND or not being in the corporate world, he is a businessman and can ‘blow’ tomorrow but my concern with him is that he is putting you under pressure; please take a walk, never marry anyone out of pity or pressure, you will regret it.

Guy 5:- Bright: Leave bright out of the picture, he is an unserious serial cheat, more of a playboy roaming around probably looking for whom to devour, such people can be on a revenge mission for rejecting their previous advances.

These are just my opinions, please pray to God if you believe in him, I do anyway; he (God) knows your future, I don’t, he is therefore in the best position to guide you.

Wish you all the best.

Abbeylanre15:



Seconded..

Meanwhile, Baba you try oo. You can easily govern this country carrying every tribe along easily. Kudos to you sir

Yoighaman:
@OP:
This your matter na real case study, couldn’t help but smile whilst reading other people’s comments but it is a serious matter that should not be swept under the carpet; at least that is why you have spoken up, so I’d try to give my little cent briefly.

Guy 1- Dubem: Let go of the relationship, the incompatibility in your genotypes will always rear its ugly head; why go through unnecessary stress?...and like you rightly mentioned, he could wake up one day and make a big deal out of it, citing his family as an excuse.

Guy 2- Nedu: To me, this seems to be the right guy for you and I’d like you to give him a chance. You see, a man that does not have money today can have tomorrow as long as he is ambitious and not lazy, forget about the hallucinations of other ladies, saying that they cannot date/marry a poor guy, blah, blah, blah. You can make money at any time; you can also have money today and lose it tomorrow but you see, those other qualities he has, my sister, they are very hard to come by.

Guy 3- Victor: This guy is arrogant; you will have issues with him later in future should you become more successful than he is. I can see you have great academic ambitions; this man will be intimidated and might make your life miserable. The misery would quadruple if you dare make/have more money than him.

Guy 4- Denver: I don’t have an issue with him having just an HND or not being in the corporate world, he is a businessman and can ‘blow’ tomorrow but my concern with him is that he is putting you under pressure; please take a walk, never marry anyone out of pity or pressure, you will regret it.

Guy 5:- Bright: Leave bright out of the picture, he is an unserious serial cheat, more of a playboy roaming around probably looking for whom to devour, such people can be on a revenge mission for rejecting their previous advances.

These are just my opinions, please pray to God if you believe in him, I do anyway; he (God) knows your future, I don’t, he is therefore in the best position to guide you.

Wish you all the best.

@Abbeylanre u really tried. ur advice is quiet succinct and meaningful . kudos!

U are confused lady and need emotional rehabilitation,

From the Op's taste, non of them fits her type of man.
If she gets married to any of them, she won't be happy, cos she settled for the available.
As for the broke guy who doesn't even have a TV, if he's above 30yrs and still don't own a TV, he won't be ready in a very long time.

This story is very confusing. You ought to have known before now that there is no perfect man and no condition is permanent.

The very guy who doesn't have a TV set and a refrigerator would be the right choice for you because I can see the other guys having all the qualities you mentioned about him.

He doesn't have a TV set and a refrigerator which is the only problem keeping you away from him. You don't have to let that be a problem to you. You should let him know what your plans are. If he agreed to your plans he would hustle it out to settle down with you. Every man is capable of doing things when there is a challenge.

Some women brings out the spirit of hustle and breaking financial burdens in a man and this is exactly many women don't know but they tends to see a man as not capable of taking care of them. You can make him over turn his financial incapability. There is still enough to make those things available in his apartment. This is what I have to contribute but sit down and think very well.

Juliusmomoh:
Instead of looking for CHRIST, u are looking for a man..

u are 2 hyprotical

With your Phd certificate and all you have written, you're no match with an OND holder.

You will end up with a Doctor that will finish you.

Haunty, seek for God's guidance and intervention in this case because He's not an author of confusion.

WomaninherPrime:
Good evening house. Kindly read patiently. I promise to be as honest as possible.

I'm a young woman in her mid-20s. I've been in three relationships so far... two were sexual, and one was purely celibate, though it didn't last beyond 6 months.

I recently got out of a 2-yr relationship with Dubem when we discovered our genotype isn't compatible. But the problem is that we're still doing a lot of back and forth. Dubem wants the relationship to continue because he's working on how we'd have our babies via IVF or chorionic villi testing to first determine the sex of the baby.

This has put me in a very confusing situation because I'm unable to move on while he's still holding on for us... and at the same time, I just keep thinking about how life would be a lot easier if I'd just marry a genotype compatible man and have children the regular way without the stress and huge financial cost of an IVF.

To fully move on from Dubem, I started seeing other people..

Nedu is a very great guy... has everything I want in a man, but he's having some financial challenges right now. He's cute, godly, very intelligent, good humour, communicates very well, respectful, sound family values, neat, and seems to me like someone who can take charge of his home. But his financial situation gives me cause for concern... he doesn't seem like he'd be comfortably ready to start a family in another 2/3 years. But that aside, his condition just dampens my enthusiasm to even visit him or start a committed relationship with him. No TV or fridge in his apartment. I feel embarrassed/sorry for him when he has to go watch TV at his friend's or neighbour's... Or I'm thinking of cooking stuff to take to him... but no fridge to store. Joykiller. Or the fact that he can't be a support system to me at the moment...

There's also Victor who comes off as a great guy but I've refused to pay him enough attention all these months because I'm still entangled with Dubem. Victor is doing quite well, and is passionate about his job, but he likes to talk about himself way too much, and seems a bit arrogant. The vibes I get off him is that he tries to be at his best behaviour when he's with me, just to impress, but maybe he's real. While I don't like like him at the moment, I feel if I gave him a chance, I'd see some other aspects of him that would make me love him.

There's Denver on the other hand. Denver is an absolute gentle man... and doing fairly well with his business. I almost said yes to him, but I felt it was coming from the place of pressure. He was putting me under a lot of pressure to say yes... he wants to get married in a minute, but I'm still not resolved on marrying him. Plus he's from a polygamous family, and his plan is for us to live in his disputed family house if/when we get married, and I feel that comes with a lot of drama. Also, he's a bit lackadaisical about his wellbeing. He doesn't seem very tidy. His car always has things strung about. I worry, too about his level of education. He has just a HND and is not in the corporate world whereas I have serious plans to get either a double masters plus lots of certifications or a Ph.D I fear there might be some sort of incompatibility years down the line. Other than these concerns, Denver is a great guy.

Then there's Bright... I've known Bright since I was in uni... he was planning a surprise engagement once, when we weren't even dating. He's the most inconsistent and confused man I've ever met. He's consistent for a aweek or two, then goes off-radar only to resurface again after a few months. But somehow he seems to believe I'm the one who's never agreed to take him seriously. But how do I take a man who's inconsistent seriously? Ideally, he shouldn't be on this list because I long cancelled him... but he called this morning and we had a very long conversation... which was short of him pleading that I calm down and take him seriously so we can move to the next level.

Now the reason I created this thread. I like having a linear focus when I'm in a relationship, but I'm unable to leave Dubem because all these other guys have one issue or the other. No, I'm not looking for a perfect guy. Dubem isn't perfect, but we've come a long way, and we love each other, and we've come to accept and understand each other as we are.
I've become impatient... I feel like I'm at the prime of my life as a woman, and I have other suitors to choose from but I'm holding on to a very precarious relationship. Dubem might as well just wake up one day and decide that our genotype incompatibility is a big deal and we should see other people... at that time, one year of my life would have gone by...these great guys would have probably moved on, too. A woman's hotcake period is fleeting. For my personal plans, I'd love to be married by next year.


Ohh. I mentioned the thing about my two sexual relationships because I made a hasty vow to God once that I wouldn't have sex with more than two men before getting married. I don't know ...God is a merciful God, yeah...But that vow still pops up in my mind now and again. So I can't go into any careless relationship, and now I can't choose.

I'm honestly confused �.

[color=#000099][/color] op please you need a break to clear your mind from all these things. First go on break for good one month and during this break don't call or pick call from them (inform them that you will like to be alone during this period)
Use this period to pray to God your heavenly father he will come to aid. Believe me

WomaninherPrime:


My dear, I'm a Christian... and I pray about almost everything. But this situation just leaves me non-plussed. I want to make
a choice and stand by it.

At a point of confusion like this, the best thing to do is to put everything in God's hands. You might end up choosing wrongly if you don't have a discerning spirit.
Remember marriage is a forever journey. Please zero your mind about them all and pray for God's guidance.

Me like this na only one question i wan ask op
Abeg na all this guys you dey bang one by one?

From your writing, I know you are most likely an ibo girl,
you go enter person house dey weigh all im property. hmm
My advice delete all of them and start again.
Change your mentality about life and love and watch as life becomes interesting.