WomaninherPrime:


I'm sorry. I just wanted to give a proper understanding of the situation.

From your write up, dubem and nedu seems great. They have perfect characteristics you need.
Dubem is already written off by nature. It is something that money and knowledge cannot solve in long run without creating problem.

nedu is the best option here. Since he is ok but he has no money. If he has ambition or plans to make money through viable ideas. Why not go for him. Can he do business, can he manage a business, do he a certificate.....? All these will help you know whether he can make it sooner

Juliusmomoh:
Instead of looking for CHRIST, u are looking for a man..

Did she mention she's christless?

WomaninherPrime:
Good evening house. Kindly read patiently. I promise to be as honest as possible.

I'm a young woman in her mid-20s. I've been in three relationships so far... two were sexual, and one was purely celibate, though it didn't last beyond 6 months.

I recently got out of a 2-yr relationship with Dubem when we discovered our genotype isn't compatible. But the problem is that we're still doing a lot of back and forth. Dubem wants the relationship to continue because he's working on how we'd have our babies via IVF or chorionic villi testing to first determine the sex of the baby.

This has put me in a very confusing situation because I'm unable to move on while he's still holding on for us... and at the same time, I just keep thinking about how life would be a lot easier if I'd just marry a genotype compatible man and have children the regular way without the stress and huge financial cost of an IVF.

To fully move on from Dubem, I started seeing other people..

Nedu is a very great guy... has everything I want in a man, but he's having some financial challenges right now. He's cute, godly, very intelligent, good humour, communicates very well, respectful, sound family values, neat, and seems to me like someone who can take charge of his home. But his financial situation gives me cause for concern... he doesn't seem like he'd be comfortably ready to start a family in another 2/3 years. But that aside, his condition just dampens my enthusiasm to even visit him or start a committed relationship with him. No TV or fridge in his apartment. I feel embarrassed/sorry for him when he has to go watch TV at his friend's or neighbour's... Or I'm thinking of cooking stuff to take to him... but no fridge to store. Joykiller. Or the fact that he can't be a support system to me at the moment...

There's also Victor who comes off as a great guy but I've refused to pay him enough attention all these months because I'm still entangled with Dubem. Victor is doing quite well, and is passionate about his job, but he likes to talk about himself way too much, and seems a bit arrogant. The vibes I get off him is that he tries to be at his best behaviour when he's with me, just to impress, but maybe he's real. While I don't like like him at the moment, I feel if I gave him a chance, I'd see some other aspects of him that would make me love him.

There's Denver on the other hand. Denver is an absolute gentle man... and doing fairly well with his business. I almost said yes to him, but I felt it was coming from the place of pressure. He was putting me under a lot of pressure to say yes... he wants to get married in a minute, but I'm still not resolved on marrying him. Plus he's from a polygamous family, and his plan is for us to live in his disputed family house if/when we get married, and I feel that comes with a lot of drama. Also, he's a bit lackadaisical about his wellbeing. He doesn't seem very tidy. His car always has things strung about. I worry, too about his level of education. He has just a HND and is not in the corporate world whereas I have serious plans to get either a double masters plus lots of certifications or a Ph.D I fear there might be some sort of incompatibility years down the line. Other than these concerns, Denver is a great guy.

Then there's Bright... I've known Bright since I was in uni... he was planning a surprise engagement once, when we weren't even dating. He's the most inconsistent and confused man I've ever met. He's consistent for a aweek or two, then goes off-radar only to resurface again after a few months. But somehow he seems to believe I'm the one who's never agreed to take him seriously. But how do I take a man who's inconsistent seriously? Ideally, he shouldn't be on this list because I long cancelled him... but he called this morning and we had a very long conversation... which was short of him pleading that I calm down and take him seriously so we can move to the next level.

Now the reason I created this thread. I like having a linear focus when I'm in a relationship, but I'm unable to leave Dubem because all these other guys have one issue or the other. No, I'm not looking for a perfect guy. Dubem isn't perfect, but we've come a long way, and we love each other, and we've come to accept and understand each other as we are.
I've become impatient... I feel like I'm at the prime of my life as a woman, and I have other suitors to choose from but I'm holding on to a very precarious relationship. Dubem might as well just wake up one day and decide that our genotype incompatibility is a big deal and we should see other people... at that time, one year of my life would have gone by...these great guys would have probably moved on, too. A woman's hotcake period is fleeting. For my personal plans, I'd love to be married by next year.


Ohh. I mentioned the thing about my two sexual relationships because I made a hasty vow to God once that I wouldn't have sex with more than two men before getting married. I don't know ...God is a merciful God, yeah...But that vow still pops up in my mind now and again. So I can't go into any careless relationship, and now I can't choose.

I'm honestly confused �.

On a serious note my dear, I am more confused as you. I don't know where to start.

kurlz:



You are a very wickedth somebori chai

Bahddo:
Aunty, you literally said "I started seeing other people."

It might not be 5 at the same time, but you were dating more than one at the same time at some point, and the fact that you are still considering all 5 means you didn't even end it with any of them. So at the time of opening this thread all 5 are still open options.

Feel free to not call those ones relationships, but that's what they are.

You ladies call it 'not putting all your eggs in one basket' (because time is not on your side). It's the same cheating.

In the end, it's your load. Pack it any way you wish. You are the one who gets to carry it.

Nehh. That's not how it works. Lol.

If that was the case, for everytime a girl hangs out or talks to another guy, they are automatically in a relationship.

WomaninherPrime:
God of heavens! I just saw the caption of this thread as it is on front page!

Lalasticlala be pulling some Instablog stunt!

Now, I'm suddenly uncomfortable that this thread is on front page. Dubem is a nairalander.

Even if all of them are Nairalanders and that doesn't negate your quest for help and advice you seek, it is obviously a public forum.

WomaninherPrime:
Good evening house. Kindly read patiently. I promise to be as honest as possible.

I'm a young woman in her mid-20s. I've been in three relationships so far... two were sexual, and one was purely celibate, though it didn't last beyond 6 months.

I recently got out of a 2-yr relationship with Dubem when we discovered our genotype isn't compatible. But the problem is that we're still doing a lot of back and forth. Dubem wants the relationship to continue because he's working on how we'd have our babies via IVF or chorionic villi testing to first determine the sex of the baby.

This has put me in a very confusing situation because I'm unable to move on while he's still holding on for us... and at the same time, I just keep thinking about how life would be a lot easier if I'd just marry a genotype compatible man and have children the regular way without the stress and huge financial cost of an IVF.

To fully move on from Dubem, I started seeing other people..

Nedu is a very great guy... has everything I want in a man, but he's having some financial challenges right now. He's cute, godly, very intelligent, good humour, communicates very well, respectful, sound family values, neat, and seems to me like someone who can take charge of his home. But his financial situation gives me cause for concern... he doesn't seem like he'd be comfortably ready to start a family in another 2/3 years. But that aside, his condition just dampens my enthusiasm to even visit him or start a committed relationship with him. No TV or fridge in his apartment. I feel embarrassed/sorry for him when he has to go watch TV at his friend's or neighbour's... Or I'm thinking of cooking stuff to take to him... but no fridge to store. Joykiller. Or the fact that he can't be a support system to me at the moment...

There's also Victor who comes off as a great guy but I've refused to pay him enough attention all these months because I'm still entangled with Dubem. Victor is doing quite well, and is passionate about his job, but he likes to talk about himself way too much, and seems a bit arrogant. The vibes I get off him is that he tries to be at his best behaviour when he's with me, just to impress, but maybe he's real. While I don't like like him at the moment, I feel if I gave him a chance, I'd see some other aspects of him that would make me love him.

There's Denver on the other hand. Denver is an absolute gentle man... and doing fairly well with his business. I almost said yes to him, but I felt it was coming from the place of pressure. He was putting me under a lot of pressure to say yes... he wants to get married in a minute, but I'm still not resolved on marrying him. Plus he's from a polygamous family, and his plan is for us to live in his disputed family house if/when we get married, and I feel that comes with a lot of drama. Also, he's a bit lackadaisical about his wellbeing. He doesn't seem very tidy. His car always has things strung about. I worry, too about his level of education. He has just a HND and is not in the corporate world whereas I have serious plans to get either a double masters plus lots of certifications or a Ph.D I fear there might be some sort of incompatibility years down the line. Other than these concerns, Denver is a great guy.

Then there's Bright... I've known Bright since I was in uni... he was planning a surprise engagement once, when we weren't even dating. He's the most inconsistent and confused man I've ever met. He's consistent for a aweek or two, then goes off-radar only to resurface again after a few months. But somehow he seems to believe I'm the one who's never agreed to take him seriously. But how do I take a man who's inconsistent seriously? Ideally, he shouldn't be on this list because I long cancelled him... but he called this morning and we had a very long conversation... which was short of him pleading that I calm down and take him seriously so we can move to the next level.

Now the reason I created this thread. I like having a linear focus when I'm in a relationship, but I'm unable to leave Dubem because all these other guys have one issue or the other. No, I'm not looking for a perfect guy. Dubem isn't perfect, but we've come a long way, and we love each other, and we've come to accept and understand each other as we are.
I've become impatient... I feel like I'm at the prime of my life as a woman, and I have other suitors to choose from but I'm holding on to a very precarious relationship. Dubem might as well just wake up one day and decide that our genotype incompatibility is a big deal and we should see other people... at that time, one year of my life would have gone by...these great guys would have probably moved on, too. A woman's hotcake period is fleeting. For my personal plans, I'd love to be married by next year.


Ohh. I mentioned the thing about my two sexual relationships because I made a hasty vow to God once that I wouldn't have sex with more than two men before getting married. I don't know ...God is a merciful God, yeah...But that vow still pops up in my mind now and again. So I can't go into any careless relationship, and now I can't choose.

I'm honestly confused �.

u are not only confused but also unserious. u will be more confused when u clock 40years old

Nonsense
Later they will say husband is scarce

IYIMAN:


All of them are Nairalanders and that doesn't negate your quest for help and advice you seek, it is obviously a public forum.

I know for a fact that Nedu and Denver are aren't on nairaland. They don't even visit. Can't affirmatively say about the others.

WomaninherPrime:
Good evening house. Kindly read patiently. I promise to be as honest as possible.

I'm a young woman in her mid-20s. I've been in three relationships so far... two were sexual, and one was purely celibate, though it didn't last beyond 6 months.

I recently got out of a 2-yr relationship with Dubem when we discovered our genotype isn't compatible. But the problem is that we're still doing a lot of back and forth. Dubem wants the relationship to continue because he's working on how we'd have our babies via IVF or chorionic villi testing to first determine the sex of the baby.

This has put me in a very confusing situation because I'm unable to move on while he's still holding on for us... and at the same time, I just keep thinking about how life would be a lot easier if I'd just marry a genotype compatible man and have children the regular way without the stress and huge financial cost of an IVF.

To fully move on from Dubem, I started seeing other people..

Nedu is a very great guy... has everything I want in a man, but he's having some financial challenges right now. He's cute, godly, very intelligent, good humour, communicates very well, respectful, sound family values, neat, and seems to me like someone who can take charge of his home. But his financial situation gives me cause for concern... he doesn't seem like he'd be comfortably ready to start a family in another 2/3 years. But that aside, his condition just dampens my enthusiasm to even visit him or start a committed relationship with him. No TV or fridge in his apartment. I feel embarrassed/sorry for him when he has to go watch TV at his friend's or neighbour's... Or I'm thinking of cooking stuff to take to him... but no fridge to store. Joykiller. Or the fact that he can't be a support system to me at the moment...

There's also Victor who comes off as a great guy but I've refused to pay him enough attention all these months because I'm still entangled with Dubem. Victor is doing quite well, and is passionate about his job, but he likes to talk about himself way too much, and seems a bit arrogant. The vibes I get off him is that he tries to be at his best behaviour when he's with me, just to impress, but maybe he's real. While I don't like like him at the moment, I feel if I gave him a chance, I'd see some other aspects of him that would make me love him.

There's Denver on the other hand. Denver is an absolute gentle man... and doing fairly well with his business. I almost said yes to him, but I felt it was coming from the place of pressure. He was putting me under a lot of pressure to say yes... he wants to get married in a minute, but I'm still not resolved on marrying him. Plus he's from a polygamous family, and his plan is for us to live in his disputed family house if/when we get married, and I feel that comes with a lot of drama. Also, he's a bit lackadaisical about his wellbeing. He doesn't seem very tidy. His car always has things strung about. I worry, too about his level of education. He has just a HND and is not in the corporate world whereas I have serious plans to get either a double masters plus lots of certifications or a Ph.D I fear there might be some sort of incompatibility years down the line. Other than these concerns, Denver is a great guy.

Then there's Bright... I've known Bright since I was in uni... he was planning a surprise engagement once, when we weren't even dating. He's the most inconsistent and confused man I've ever met. He's consistent for a aweek or two, then goes off-radar only to resurface again after a few months. But somehow he seems to believe I'm the one who's never agreed to take him seriously. But how do I take a man who's inconsistent seriously? Ideally, he shouldn't be on this list because I long cancelled him... but he called this morning and we had a very long conversation... which was short of him pleading that I calm down and take him seriously so we can move to the next level.

Now the reason I created this thread. I like having a linear focus when I'm in a relationship, but I'm unable to leave Dubem because all these other guys have one issue or the other. No, I'm not looking for a perfect guy. Dubem isn't perfect, but we've come a long way, and we love each other, and we've come to accept and understand each other as we are.
I've become impatient... I feel like I'm at the prime of my life as a woman, and I have other suitors to choose from but I'm holding on to a very precarious relationship. Dubem might as well just wake up one day and decide that our genotype incompatibility is a big deal and we should see other people... at that time, one year of my life would have gone by...these great guys would have probably moved on, too. A woman's hotcake period is fleeting. For my personal plans, I'd love to be married by next year.


Ohh. I mentioned the thing about my two sexual relationships because I made a hasty vow to God once that I wouldn't have sex with more than two men before getting married. I don't know ...God is a merciful God, yeah...But that vow still pops up in my mind now and again. So I can't go into any careless relationship, and now I can't choose.

I'm honestly confused �.

Pray about it....are we the ones to live with you guys in the next 6monyhs/ 6years down the line? Biko the answer is within you girl!!!

WomaninherPrime:



Nehh. That's not how it works. Lol.

If that was the case, for everytime a girl hangs out or talks to another guy, they are automatically in a relationship.

does every girl start contemplating marrying every guy she talks to or hang out with?

Are those 5 guys the only non-relative guys you have talked to or hung out with since you were born?

Keep telling yourself they weren't relationships, when you almost accepted a proposal from one and included 'dating' when narrating another.

Bahddo:
does every girl start contemplating marrying every guy she talks to or hang out with?

Are those 5 guys the only non-relative guys you have talked to or hung out with since you were born?

Keep telling yourself they weren't relationships, when you almost accepted a proposal from one and included 'dating' when narrating another.

A girl starts contemplating a guy depending on the kind of discussions they have, and intentions he makes known to her. I can't start explaining to you how a relationship works. How people move from knowing/seeing each other/going on dates to entering into a concrete relationship. I only used dating when I spoke about Dubem.

I understand that for some people, a relationship automatically starts... without definition. That's never me
Perhaps that's you. Explains why you'd call what isn't a relationship a relationship.

Go for Victor.

lalasticlala:

How do I reach you? I'll like to discuss something with you.

WomaninherPrime:


A girl starts contemplating a guy depending on the kind of discussions they have, and intentions he makes known to her. I can't start explaining to you how a relationship works. How people move from knowing/seeing each other/going on dates to entering into a concrete relationship. I only used dating when I spoke about Dubem.

I understand that for some people, a relationship automatically starts... without definition. That's never me
Perhaps that's you. Explains why you'd call what isn't a relationship a relationship.

Concrete is just an adjective that shows the quality of the relationship, not what makes it a relationship. Other ways you can describe relationships could be 'serious', 'casual', 'steady', 'long-distance', etc. The fact that you didn't think the relationships concrete does not make them any less of relationships.

You ladies should stop dating multiple men at the same time with the excuse that you are just trying to make up your mind and it's not serious. At least have the decency to admit it when you do multi-date.

As if you'd apply the same 'concrete' justification if tables were turned and you discovered your man is contemplating between you and 4 other ladies as his potential marriage mate.

Have fun with your multiple 'baskets'. Bye.

Bahddo:

Concrete is just an adjective that shows the quality of the relationship, not what makes it a relationship. Other ways you can describe relationships could be 'serious', 'casual', 'steady', 'long-distance', etc. The fact that you didn't think the relationships concrete does not make them any less of relationships.

You ladies should stop dating multiple men at the same time with the excuse that you are just trying to make up your mind and it's not serious. At least have the decency to admit it when you do multi-date.

As if you'd apply the same 'concrete' justification if tables were turned and you discovered your man is contemplating between you and 4 other ladies as his potential marriage mate.

Have fun with your multiple 'baskets'. Bye.

They are not relationships. I didn't say yes to any of them who asked me out. Told them I needed time to get over my last relationship properly... so nobody becomes a rebound.

WomaninherPrime:


They are not relationships. I didn't say yes to any of them who asked me out. Told them I needed time to get over my last relationship properly... so nobody becomes a rebound.

Lol.. rebound tenderness. Putting these guys under consideration for a lifetime of commitment means there is an existing, continuous communication between you and each of them. You couldn't have known so much about them without any level of communication while positioning them as potential life partners... in summary, there's a relationship: which now requires further definition.

this smelling toto okpo fucking 5guys at once and disturbing us. my thunder fire u

Juliusmomoh:
Instead of looking for CHRIST, u are looking for a man..

To put it better.Instead of looking for Christ, she is looking for crisis.Sampling and gambling with men, there is no way you will get the best.Marriage is not a game.Repent of your sin of.fornication. Break the sexual.and soul ties with the.men and disentangle yourself from all of them and start afresh with God.Than thy was shall be clear Ps 32:8

Rapture4real:


To put it better.Instead of looking for Christ, she is looking for crisis.Sampling and gambling with men, there is no way you will get the best.Marriage is not a game.Repent of your sin of.fornication. Break the sexual.and soul ties with the.men and disentangle yourself from all of them and start afresh with God.Than thy was shall be clear Ps 32:8

Noted.. Thank u sir

IYIMAN:


Lol.. rebound tenderness. Putting these guys under consideration for a lifetime of commitment means there is an existing, continuous communication between you and each of them. You couldn't have known so much about them without any level of communication while positioning them as potential life partners... in summary, there's a relationship: which now requires further definition.

Hmmmm. I'd rather say interactions, for the sake of distinction. I'd use relationship to refer strictly to where there's commitment and more regular interactions.