₦airaland Forum

blackpanthar:
missimelda01 pls help...

Dear sister, UNTIL YOU DEFINE THE RELATIONSHIP.... do no go to his place alone... else you will enter an ENTANGLEMENT.

You have made yourself cheap by being available for him and falling for the things he does.... BUILD YOUR WALLS WELL O... because definitely he will sleep with the girl who visited him... and you will go another day and enter SET.


A GUY CAN SLEEP WITH YOU WITHOUT PLANNING TO DATE OR MARRY YOU.

You will just be Hot-FRIENDS-WITH-BENEFITS....

If the girls he has slept with are not CLEAN health-wise OR spiritually... then you will also be INFECTED.


Sister, if you really want a relationship that will lead to marriage... then have enough DIGNITY to wait for him to propose and inform your parents and friends and start planning your life together without SEX.

Else, you will fall for the NEXT guy after him and soon you will hate yourself and hate men.


IT IS EASIER TO SAY NO WHEN IT HAS NOT STARTED.... be wise, be warned.
bye

Dalby:
That is not obvious, it is a possibility. It could be that he is trying to gauge what effects that would have on her. Trying to stir up the pot. She likes him and has been pretending she doesn't

Dorcas23:
There is this guy I just recently started talking to. He's very good looking and intelligent and dresses well. He is my type and we have so many interests in common. I'm already falling in love with him but I haven't told him. I'm still trying to take it slow. I have not had sex with him yet but I want to. He told me he is in love with me and I was so excited to hear it but I hid my excitement because I'm still confused about his intentions.

The problem is that whenever I try to become vulnerable with him like texting him early in the morning to ask how his night was, he will ignore my texts for days and then call me out of the blue as if nothing happened. But other times he will call me multiple times and talk on the phone like we were dating.

Yesterday after ignoring my texts for over 24hrs he called me and said I should come over to his place. I've never been to his place before. I was already on my way when he called me to tell me that a lady visited him and she is spending the night at his place. He apologized and told me not to be offended. I acted all cool and told him some other time. He hasn't texted or called me since. I'm confused. I know we aren't dating but why would he even tell me this?

Xpress24:
nawa o for nairaland guys

jnrcess:
You're already falling in love with him? It's obvious that you don't know what love is or you might just be too blind to see you are walking into a trap. Well good luck.

Dorcas23:
There is this guy I just recently started talking to. He's very good looking and intelligent and dresses well. He is my type and we have so many interests in common. I'm already falling in love with him but I haven't told him. I'm still trying to take it slow. I have not had sex with him yet but I want to. He told me he is in love with me and I was so excited to hear it but I hid my excitement because I'm still confused about his intentions.

The problem is that whenever I try to become vulnerable with him like texting him early in the morning to ask how his night was, he will ignore my texts for days and then call me out of the blue as if nothing happened. But other times he will call me multiple times and talk on the phone like we were dating.

Yesterday after ignoring my texts for over 24hrs he called me and said I should come over to his place. I've never been to his place before. I was already on my way when he called me to tell me that a lady visited him and she is spending the night at his place. He apologized and told me not to be offended. I acted all cool and told him some other time. He hasn't texted or called me since. I'm confused. I know we aren't dating but why would he even tell me this?

Dorcas23:
There is this guy I just recently started talking to. He's very good looking and intelligent and dresses well. He is my type and we have so many interests in common. I'm already falling in love with him but I haven't told him. I'm still trying to take it slow. I have not had sex with him yet but I want to. He told me he is in love with me and I was so excited to hear it but I hid my excitement because I'm still confused about his intentions.

The problem is that whenever I try to become vulnerable with him like texting him early in the morning to ask how his night was, he will ignore my texts for days and then call me out of the blue as if nothing happened. But other times he will call me multiple times and talk on the phone like we were dating.

Yesterday after ignoring my texts for over 24hrs he called me and said I should come over to his place. I've never been to his place before. I was already on my way when he called me to tell me that a lady visited him and she is spending the night at his place. He apologized and told me not to be offended. I acted all cool and told him some other time. He hasn't texted or called me since. I'm confused. I know we aren't dating but why would he even tell me this?

Dorcas23:
There is this guy I just recently started talking to. He's very good looking and intelligent and dresses well. He is my type and we have so many interests in common. I'm already falling in love with him but I haven't told him. I'm still trying to take it slow. I have not had sex with him yet but I want to. He told me he is in love with me and I was so excited to hear it but I hid my excitement because I'm still confused about his intentions.

The problem is that whenever I try to become vulnerable with him like texting him early in the morning to ask how his night was, he will ignore my texts for days and then call me out of the blue as if nothing happened. But other times he will call me multiple times and talk on the phone like we were dating.

Yesterday after ignoring my texts for over 24hrs he called me and said I should come over to his place. I've never been to his place before. I was already on my way when he called me to tell me that a lady visited him and she is spending the night at his place. He apologized and told me not to be offended. I acted all cool and told him some other time. He hasn't texted or called me since. I'm confused. I know we aren't dating but why would he even tell me this?

blackpanthar:
missimelda01 pls help...

Dear sister, UNTIL YOU DEFINE THE RELATIONSHIP.... do no go to his place alone... else you will enter an ENTANGLEMENT.

You have made yourself cheap by being available for him and falling for the things he does.... BUILD YOUR WALLS WELL O... because definitely he will sleep with the girl who visited him... and you will go another day and enter SET.


A GUY CAN SLEEP WITH YOU WITHOUT PLANNING TO DATE OR MARRY YOU.

You will just be Hot-FRIENDS-WITH-BENEFITS....

If the girls he has slept with are not CLEAN health-wise OR spiritually... then you will also be INFECTED.


Sister, if you really want a relationship that will lead to marriage... then have enough DIGNITY to wait for him to propose and inform your parents and friends and start planning your life together without SEX.

Else, you will fall for the NEXT guy after him and soon you will hate yourself and hate men.


IT IS EASIER TO SAY NO WHEN IT HAS NOT STARTED.... be wise, be warned.
bye

Zzor:
ignore him and pretend he doesn't exist,dont fall for such simple trick to get you jealous,hes a player.Never show a guy you like him no matter how deep you have fallen,he will never respect you if you do that,he may accept you if you make any move but will never value you,you will become his sex thing,they value ladies they suffered to have,thats how they are weird,dont follow any advise coming from a guy here,they just want you to fall cheap for their fellow.I repeat,never ever make or show him signs that you have fallen in love with him,if he comes fine, but if he doesn't,my dear bury that feelings quickly and get busy.

DHaran:
U sound sincere. I saw two thing in your writeup he does not reply your text maybe he his shy...he told u he loved u but you didnt tell him u love him too...take him serious as he does to you but dont give him sex never!!...but if u feel comfortable giving him give him.

jnrcess:
You're already falling in love with him? It's obvious that you don't know what love is or you might just be too blind to see you are walking into a trap. Well good luck.

Dorcas23:
There is this guy I just recently started talking to. He's very good looking and intelligent and dresses well. He is my type and we have so many interests in common. I'm already falling in love with him but I haven't told him. I'm still trying to take it slow. I have not had sex with him yet but I want to. He told me he is in love with me and I was so excited to hear it but I hid my excitement because I'm still confused about his intentions.

The problem is that whenever I try to become vulnerable with him like texting him early in the morning to ask how his night was, he will ignore my texts for days and then call me out of the blue as if nothing happened. But other times he will call me multiple times and talk on the phone like we were dating.

Yesterday after ignoring my texts for over 24hrs he called me and said I should come over to his place. I've never been to his place before. I was already on my way when he called me to tell me that a lady visited him and she is spending the night at his place. He apologized and told me not to be offended. I acted all cool and told him some other time. He hasn't texted or called me since. I'm confused. I know we aren't dating but why would he even tell me this?

Zzor:
ignore him and pretend he doesn't exist,dont fall for such simple trick to get you jealous,hes a player.Never show a guy you like him no matter how deep you have fallen,he will never respect you if you do that,he may accept you if you make any move but will never value you,you will become his sex thing,they value ladies they suffered to have,thats how they are weird,dont follow any advise coming from a guy here,they just want you to fall cheap for their fellow.I repeat,never ever make or show him signs that you have fallen in love with him,if he comes fine, but if he doesn't,my dear bury that feelings quickly and get busy.

Openbusiness:
see, man to man, you know how wooing works, right? It is an investment of "Time". "Time" here is not just a singular thing alone. "Time" here means:
✓ actual hours or moments of time you spent relating and communicating +
✓ the mental resources +
✓ attention devoted +
✓ the energy spent +
✓ physical resources deployed: money spent, materials etc

Now let me tell you, for a casual friendship, you don't devote much "time". Hello , hi once in a while. Negligible thing. No mutual attraction, so you guys don't get close. But for a case like OP, where there is mutual attraction, no guy ever gets to the point where you and a girl are all mentally warped together and involved together communicating back and forth on a daily, if there's no investment of "time", unless the girl na hoelosho or the slutty nympho type. The guy invested his time, she invested hers too. It got to a point to they were mutually involved and then he breaks the ice that he "loves" her. She shoves it aside, goes cold on that issue, doesn't reciprocate, even when she knew she felt the same way, claiming she wanna study him more, yen yen yen, lame excuses. If you wanna study someone more then you give them gap, so they don't catch on too soon. So the guy feels, oh maybe she ain't feeling me like I'm feeling her, not because she didn't say I love you too immediately. But because she ghosted him regarding that matter. She could have said later that, ABC about that I love you, it's not like I don't love you, I really like you but I need to be sure your love and intentions are real and you're not trying to just get laid, because I really like you so much and if you play me, it will break my heart. A honest discussion like that would have been ok and the ball will be in the guy's court to prove to her his intentions are good and he wants to be in the game for as long as possible. Because let's face the fact, not every girl you date is gonna lead to marriage, you never know for certain, we just go in blind and hope for the best, sometimes the vibes fade after a short time and nothing you can do about it but to let go, and sometimes the vibes grow more and more and you bond to the next level. That's the truth. If you know you can't handle this simple reality, then best to avoid dating completely and just find a guy and move straight to altar the next day. Anyways, she cuts him off as per the dating matter, because when a man starts declaring ILY, that's what he wants. ILY = let's date. Sex might or might not be involved. It's left for her if she wanna take it to that level. No be by force or rape. People can date months or years without sex na. I once dated a girl, she said no sex. No wahala na. After 5 days, na she carry am come give me chop herself. I have dated a girl that said no sex, that she dey follow the dating 3 Months No Sex Rule, after 1 month na she drop the cookie jar herself. And I have dated girls that didn't say no sex but it was a no sex relationship. So it's a choice. The power to choose is there. Not every dating has sex involved. So saying that she cut him off on that matter because she doesn't wanna have sex na wash. She has seen fine boy she wanna keep on the side while she explores and sees whether there's more out there. So she just wanna be wasting his "time" while the guy keeps investing to maintain or grow their level of involvement. She's playing mind games with him. Messing with his feelings. But the guy being a woke guy has already decoded the mind games and has brushed it off. So he ain't bothered, he doesn't wanna invest himself in a failed venture. So he is switching on and off, hopefully whatever involvement they had can fizzle out and everybody find their way back to normal hello hi once in a while friend zone level. That's why he invited her, then stood her up AND DELIBERATELY told her another girl was sleeping over his place. I mean c'mon he didn't have to tell her that info na on a normal level. But he did it to let her know he ain't got time for her rubbish mind games. Shey she wanna study him more, he has given her INFO to do research on. Now she dey cry come Nairaland looking for answer for project, so she can graduate from University. Ok na. Make she dey find wetin no loss. The guy has shown her his feeling is not her toy to be playing with. Let her go to Yaba market and buy toy.

Dorcas23:
There is this guy I just recently started talking to. He's very good looking and intelligent and dresses well. He is my type and we have so many interests in common. I'm already falling in love with him but I haven't told him. I'm still trying to take it slow. I have not had sex with him yet but I want to. He told me he is in love with me and I was so excited to hear it but I hid my excitement because I'm still confused about his intentions.

The problem is that whenever I try to become vulnerable with him like texting him early in the morning to ask how his night was, he will ignore my texts for days and then call me out of the blue as if nothing happened. But other times he will call me multiple times and talk on the phone like we were dating.

Yesterday after ignoring my texts for over 24hrs he called me and said I should come over to his place. I've never been to his place before. I was already on my way when he called me to tell me that a lady visited him and she is spending the night at his place. He apologized and told me not to be offended. I acted all cool and told him some other time. He hasn't texted or called me since. I'm confused. I know we aren't dating but why would he even tell me this?