Obinnau:
Don't judge them until you leave.
Abroad no be the same as Naija. Too much responsibilities and no time for flimsy exchange of chats

SoccerUSA:
As seen in the topic, I have two friends that travelled to the U.S, One travelled 2014 and the other one 2017, though before they left we had a good vibes we were both close if not best friends before they left.

The one of 2014 stopped texting me at 2018 or so even when I wished him birthday wishes and same with the other. I knew this because I only texted them on Facebook and you will know when they read and not reply.

I don't hold any grudges against them though
Did you guys think it's normal? Like if I leave Nigeria, Would I also ignore my friends text even if they do not request anything from me?

Please can someone just explain to me so I won't see my friends (maybe former friends) as bad ones.

SoccerUSA:
As seen in the topic, I have two friends that travelled to the U.S, One travelled 2014 and the other one 2017, though before they left we had a good vibes we were both close if not best friends before they left.

The one of 2014 stopped texting me at 2018 or so even when I wished him birthday wishes and same with the other. I knew this because I only texted them on Facebook and you will know when they read and not reply.

I don't hold any grudges against them though
Did you guys think it's normal? Like if I leave Nigeria, Would I also ignore my friends text even if they do not request anything from me?

Please can someone just explain to me so I won't see my friends (maybe former friends) as bad ones.

SoccerUSA:

I am not assuming or worried
I am just curious to know.

Sweetness4:


Na waa for those people oooo. I was really hurt. The world doesn't revolve around them jare.. We move.. I don't want those kind of people in my life.

SoccerUSA:

My story different sha, though it must be because I am not abroad.
Before he travelled we buy ourselves gift on our birthdays can be as little as you can afford. Fast forward to days or months he arrived the US comes his birthday so I created an amazon account gave him and told him to pick anything of his choice. I paid for them.
You won't believe the guy went back to order things. He claimed it was a mistake I couldn't get a refund till date he later blocked me on all social mediums when I texted him.
Not everybody wants their money I just want to have a genuine relationship with them.

Obinnau:

I am in Nigeria, I haven't traveled. But I have received the same treatment from friends that have traveled. One way to look at it is to put yourself in the shoes if people outside the country.
A lot of people will usually use the guise of checking up on them to 'bill' them. Also there is a reason why they went to the abroad in the first place and it's usually overwhelming to adjust to the new place and still keep up with others.
What I would advice you to do is to leave them a voice message or call directly if you can afford it. Well... That's the way I handle my own business

kellycute:
no need for long talk. The reason we the abroadian hardly respond to some our folks messages is that they like to change every conversation or chat to monetary favour. I was chatting with my cousin and the next thing she said "you just forget me oo, I dey hungry oo., I need money" can u imagine that rubbish? Most people don't even know how to have a prosper conversation without resorting to financial favor. The main reason abroadian don't respond to some people in naija is because y'all like to use every conversation as financial opportunity as if we are picking the money from tree . As for me I respond to everyone messages but the moment you try to change the narrative to unnecessary complain, I go just ignored ur ass or tell u say "I never chop since morning oo abeg send me money from Naija" hahahaha.

Sheriman:

When he was crunching on you why don't you toast him by yourself.. I can see from your heart you really love him

optimusprime2:


Hey I couldn't just ignore this post...
At first I wanted to be blunt and straight out savage in my response, but it ocured to me that your post was honest and sincere meaning you are not aware of certain realities that exist outside of Nigeria, especially outside African territory, so I decided to be very detailed in breaking down certain things for your understanding ...

1. Adjustment: moving to US means moving to a new way of life, new setting, system, culture, environment, norms and practices etc now these aforementioned factors differ starkly from what one is accustomed to in Nigeria, infact strongly sticking to Nigerian norms in US hinders one from integrating properly in the society and that makes one a cultural deviant and of course that blocks one out from opportunities inthe society ... so how can that be avoided? Simple... by adjustment, evolving to catch up, however the results turnout differently with different people, some completely reject the past and move on while others hold on to the past but still look forward.

2. New Associations: there's a saying, "bird's of a feather flock together" look, if you change location you are likely to build strong relationships with new people and these new people tend to make you see the world from their own view, now that has it's advantages and disadvantages...
It's likely they move on with the progression of new association, leaving the old associations behind or pay less attention to old association as it is of less relevance.

3. The reality of being an immigrant: look, no matter how bad Nigeria is, you can never be an immigrant in your own country, you still enjoy specific "privilege". However in the US as an immigrant, it's not the same... firstly you have to bust your butt 24/7 to keep your head above water, you see these things called bills? They are real, and they can end up haunting you, especially if one just arrived and one is still trying to figure it out. Your friends may not tell you of some jobs they are doing just to stay afloat, honestly some jobs that they may have looked down on in Nigeria could be what they do on the regular and they may not have that state of mind to keep up communication with you, because you have no idea of what they are going through... then again maybe they left to the US on a visit visa and the reality of being illegal has caught up... infact ... bros let's stop the explanation on this immigrant life, just know that being an immigrant anywhere in the world is not an easy thing, not many people make it out in one piece at the end of the day... and this point is actually the most important point.

4. Time difference: this may seem like a little reason but bro it creeps up on you trust me... especially when one is working hard to pay them bills. Being in some parts of the US puts you 6, 7 or 8hrs off Nigerian time and that really just knocks it to you at the end of the day that, you live on different worlds. Now some people come to that reality and move on, while others may still hold on to the home team, look it varies across different people but it is a real condition. Relationships have ended due to the reality that time difference is actually a spatial separation.

5. "The Naija factor": I had to put this here because I ain't gonna lie, once one leaves Nigeria, the problems of Nigeria become very visible, appalling and disgusting when viewed from another country (I call it the enlightenment phase) especially in a system where everything works, in fact you ask yourself how you got stuck in a backward oriented system for so long... some people respond by totally alienating themselves from Nigeria or anything that has to do with Nigeria ... including people. Sad, but true.

6. Cultural struggles: This one right here is real... it first hits you when you realize in the U.S. that your accent in a language you thought yourself fluent in, is un-understandable... some people take in that fact very hard, like they literally go through socialization again just to straighten out their accents, sometimes even food becomes a difficult situation, because some people are not used to American food, others literally bump into boyfriends or girlfriends that culturally format them... in essence, people stop associations with people who don't help them in achieving social integration etc so the response level for different people varies

7. Education and training: Nothing is as enlightening as education, and trust me that is usually obtained in the US quickly, merely living in the American society educates you.
Once one becomes enlightened, old habits tend to be dropped, including old friends with old habits... the only thing that solves this particular point is if you are also updating yourself with a similar sort of education or training that enlightens you on the same level, otherwise a gap too wide on that regard, is a gulf indeed.

There are many other reasons but I decided to pick a few major ones to let you know why your stated instance happens mostly.

Sammyolis:
You did not know they are facing there some think anytime you chat that maybe you want to ask for money or help

SoccerUSA:
As seen in the topic, I have two friends that travelled to the U.S, One travelled 2014 and the other one 2017, though before they left we had a good vibes we were both close if not best friends before they left.

The one of 2014 stopped texting me at 2018 or so even when I wished him birthday wishes and same with the other. I knew this because I only texted them on Facebook and you will know when they read and not reply.

I don't hold any grudges against them though
Did you guys think it's normal? Like if I leave Nigeria, Would I also ignore my friends text even if they do not request anything from me?

Please can someone just explain to me so I won't see my friends (maybe former friends) as bad ones.

Goodnigga:
u self gbagaun.“ beggar” not “ begger”

Sweetness4:
This topic reminds me of my secondary classmate that travelled out. We were good friends. 3years later he was added to our class whatsApp group chat. I commented and said hey it's been a while ooo. He asked of my name, I told him. He said he can't remember me. I was really embarrassed. Just 3years ooo. I started describing how we always gist and how we were encouraging ourselves during waec. (Shalayeing things) Lmao he said "i don't know who you are ooo". I was shocked.
Omo that was the last time we spoke.
I will travel out one day too. e be things ooo��

ikoroduarea:


Most of you so called friends are the cause because your financial and materials demand are unrealistic and out of this world. The way some friends treat their friends abroad is unfair too. I am not saying you are one.

Check my similar post that recently made front page too here about two of my friends of same blood.

https://www.nairaland.com/6016141/friends-exploiting-money-me-advice

Obinnau:
Don't judge them until you leave.
Abroad no be the same as Naija. Too much responsibilities and no time for flimsy exchange of chats

SoccerUSA:
As seen in the topic, I have two friends that travelled to the U.S, One travelled 2014 and the other one 2017, though before they left we had a good vibes we were both close if not best friends before they left.

The one of 2014 stopped texting me at 2018 or so even when I wished him birthday wishes and same with the other. I knew this because I only texted them on Facebook and you will know when they read and not reply.

I don't hold any grudges against them though
Did you guys think it's normal? Like if I leave Nigeria, Would I also ignore my friends text even if they do not request anything from me?

Please can someone just explain to me so I won't see my friends (maybe former friends) as bad ones.

praiseneo:
I’ve been chatting my friend in Ireland he left 3 years ago he stopped talking to me when I needed help I no vex

Now I suppose de UK before this month end