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Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? - Travel (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by money121(m): 1:14pm On Sep 04, 2020
Ok
Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by SimplyA1(f): 1:15pm On Sep 04, 2020
Las Las everybody go dey alright!

5 Likes

Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by chimezieeze98: 1:15pm On Sep 04, 2020

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=is9fqmscKsg

I believe the individualism system practiced in most foreign countries changes those that travel with time. If you have ever travelled abroad, you would also notice that unlike Nigeria you can go visit relatives unannounced.... Yiu can't do such there.

At 18,childrwn already planning on leaving home not like here wey 40 year old man go dey follow him papa drag tv remote for him papa house

16 Likes

Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by Nobody: 1:16pm On Sep 04, 2020
SoccerUSA:
As seen in the topic, I have two friends that travelled to the U.S, One travelled 2014 and the other one 2017, though before they left we had a good vibes we were both close if not best friends before they left.

The one of 2014 stopped texting me at 2018 or so even when I wished him birthday wishes and same with the other. I knew this because I only texted them on Facebook and you will know when they read and not reply.

I don't hold any grudges against them though
Did you guys think it's normal? Like if I leave Nigeria, Would I also ignore my friends text even if they do not request anything from me?

Please can someone just explain to me so I won't see my friends (maybe former friends) as bad ones.
They now feel like they're better than you, it's a normal thing amongst many people to always feel better than others once they have done something they feel is great, if you're my bosom friend I would always check up on you. Besides this is normal amongst Nigerians why are you shocked.

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by Comedian2019: 1:17pm On Sep 04, 2020
Obinnau:
Don't judge them until you leave.
Abroad no be the same as Naija. Too much responsibilities and no time for flimsy exchange of chats
That's not true.
The young man only need to up his game financially and those janded guys would be the ones disturbing him with chats.

13 Likes

Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by TruthHurts100: 1:17pm On Sep 04, 2020
SoccerUSA:
As seen in the topic, I have two friends that travelled to the U.S, One travelled 2014 and the other one 2017, though before they left we had a good vibes we were both close if not best friends before they left.

The one of 2014 stopped texting me at 2018 or so even when I wished him birthday wishes and same with the other. I knew this because I only texted them on Facebook and you will know when they read and not reply.

I don't hold any grudges against them though
Did you guys think it's normal? Like if I leave Nigeria, Would I also ignore my friends text even if they do not request anything from me?

Please can someone just explain to me so I won't see my friends (maybe former friends) as bad ones.

Truth is, it's distance that's responsible and time difference. And again, out of sight is almost equal to out of mind.

Even if it's your blood, the communication will definitely dwindle. Please check that oyinbo for me, I just use am cos e sound right. grin

7 Likes

Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by domino4211(m): 1:17pm On Sep 04, 2020
SoccerUSA:
As seen in the topic, I have two friends that travelled to the U.S, One travelled 2014 and the other one 2017, though before they left we had a good vibes we were both close if not best friends before they left.

The one of 2014 stopped texting me at 2018 or so even when I wished him birthday wishes and same with the other. I knew this because I only texted them on Facebook and you will know when they read and not reply.


I don't hold any grudges against them though
Did you guys think it's normal? Like if I leave Nigeria, Would I also ignore my friends text even if they do not request anything from me?

Please can someone just explain to me so I won't see my friends (maybe former friends) as bad ones.
Could be because of your bad grammar..
If I have a friend who speaks or types like you do,I will stop replying them too.. angry

3 Likes

Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by tarantino1: 1:17pm On Sep 04, 2020
Sweetness4:
This topic reminds me of my secondary classmate that travelled out. We were good friends. 3years later he was added to our class whatsApp group chat. I commented and said hey it's been a while ooo. He asked of my name, I told him. He said he can't remember me. I was really embarrassed. Just 3years ooo. I started describing how we always gist and how we were encouraging ourselves during waec. (Shalayeing things) Lmao he said "i don't know who you are ooo". I was shocked.
Omo that was the last time we spoke.
I will travel out one day too. e be things ooo��

Ouch!

Just three years

Recently met someone I hadn't seen in 8 years and we recognized ourself despite the fact that we weren't even very close, let alone this one. angry

12 Likes

Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by greenskittles: 1:17pm On Sep 04, 2020
SoccerUSA:
As seen in the topic, I have two friends that travelled to the U.S, One travelled 2014 and the other one 2017, though before they left we had a good vibes we were both close if not best friends before they left.

The one of 2014 stopped texting me at 2018 or so even when I wished him birthday wishes and same with the other. I knew this because I only texted them on Facebook and you will know when they read and not reply.

I don't hold any grudges against them though
Did you guys think it's normal? Like if I leave Nigeria, Would I also ignore my friends text even if they do not request anything from me?

Please can someone just explain to me so I won't see my friends (maybe former friends) as bad ones.

My opinion, when they move they make new friends, are completely exposed to a new reality, and have to adjust to that. In the beginning they still constantly talk to you but over time it tends to fade away as you both have very little in common at that point. After 3 years of them living in the US, they really just can't relate to most things you would typically have small talk about. I believe that leaving your message read and not replied was very rude, and they should've at least appreciated that you showed concern to them. But "calling just to greet" everytime, after 3 years quickly gets old. If you guys were not that close, a point you start to wonder what you "really" want.

Also add to the fact that some people think everyone that has travelled has suddenly become Bill Gates. You might not show that mentality but other people might have shown your friend hell. Then it gets to a point that your overly friendly demeanor when you have nothing in common to talk about means you want to ask them for something, even though you may not. Coupled with the fact that they're already burdened with so many responsibilities, they might just not have time to for that.

With your next friend that travels (lol) if you want to maintain contact you need to both find common ground. They can't relate to "NEPA has taken light" and you can't relate to "my taxes are too damn high". So if you're going to stay in contact, you need to find something both of you do.

It's just like your secondary school friends, how many of them do you still talk to? The school was probably the glue holding you all together, and upon graduation you drifted apart, except from those that you actually have something in common to constantly relate to.

44 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by Nobody: 1:18pm On Sep 04, 2020
chimezieeze98:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=is9fqmscKsg

I believe the individualism system practiced in most foreign countries changes those that travel with time. If you have ever travelled abroad, you would also notice that unlike Nigeria you can go visit relatives unannounced.... Yiu can't do such there.

At 18,childrwn already planning on leaving home not like here wey 40 year old man go dey follow him papa drag tv remote for him papa house
It's not about individualism it's about feeling better than others, Nigerians see travelling out as a great achievement so when they do it then their ego swells and boom, you are now trash to them.

12 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by Nobody: 1:20pm On Sep 04, 2020
Obinnau:
Don't judge them until you leave.
Abroad no be the same as Naija. Too much responsibilities and no time for flimsy exchange of chats
Did you read the full details of the post?
Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by ankaravillageng: 1:20pm On Sep 04, 2020
Maybe it's cause I'm a lady, but I have never experienced such.
Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by miqos02(m): 1:20pm On Sep 04, 2020
otipoju:
First of all...the time difference. Some of my very stupid friends will be chatting or calling me at 2 am after I have explained severally that Nigeria is most times five hours ahead of me and it's best we talk on the weekends. Last last the whole talk will boil down to come and give me money.

Secondly... the mindset, the western world is not a laid back environment..you are constantly on your feet working to pay your bills and thinking of taking advantage of the next opportunity so you dont get left behind . "Abeg sir"no dey there if you fail to pay on the due date, you get a penalty fee which you must pay. If you dont they disconnect the service. End of story.

Compare this to Nigeria where men can chill every evening after work with beer or soccer and party every weekend until maybe 3 months to pay the annual rent then you begin hustle the money to pay rent..and can owe nepa for 9 months sef. If dem cut light,you tap from your neighbour.

Lastly most Nigerians just want to beg for money whether they are in need or not. Some if you dare give them once dem go open office for your head. Them no get shame and na to dey carry real and imaginary problem come every month or three months. No self respect...when you compare that begi begi mindset with that of the west where everyone is self dependent you'll understand why your friends or relatives eventually ghost you.

I have a relative who will be sending me prayer and happy new month messages. Every 3 month he will always have one problem or project that needs support.

Recently I decided to borrow him money instead of the usual give. 3 weeks turned into three months. Na so so excuse every month. Not paid back one kobo.

Last week the person had the guts to send the proposal of a business plan along with voice note that he needs my support. Meanwhile there is a group that we are both on that he does not know that I am on as well that where he was suggesting to them that they contribute money for independence day party.

I just shook my head and blocked his number.

So true
Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by edoairways: 1:20pm On Sep 04, 2020
SoccerUSA:


He probably lost his memory �
cheesy wink cheesy cheesy
Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by Comedian2019: 1:20pm On Sep 04, 2020
Sweetness4:
This topic reminds me of my secondary classmate that travelled out. We were good friends. 3years later he was added to our class whatsApp group chat. I commented and said hey it's been a while ooo. He asked of my name, I told him. He said he can't remember me. I was really embarrassed. Just 3years ooo. I started describing how we always gist and how we were encouraging ourselves during waec. (Shalayeing things) Lmao he said "i don't know who you are ooo". I was shocked.
Omo that was the last time we spoke.
I will travel out one day too. e be things ooo��
You're going to make it big. You'll be shocked again to see him sending you dm. grin grin

5 Likes

Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by BennyDon: 1:20pm On Sep 04, 2020
It's everywhere.

Those guys always feel they've made it.

One once asked me to draw a business plan which I did but I've heard nothing concerning it for four years now.

You see, I don't chat them either. They always look so busy and stressed up.

I know we'll still see over there, by God's grace

12 Likes

Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by Chujor1634(m): 1:22pm On Sep 04, 2020
i had a friend who travelled to the UK, he always calls me, even till he came back he always calls. I had another one that travelled too, it wasn't up to one month, we had no manage to talk and he was phonerizing the whole discussion, mehn i got tired and decided not to talk to him again, luckily for me, he never called again, the last time he tried calling i didn't take his call (i'm not in for shits).

Truth is, when you travel, you get to meet new people, you get new challenges and it's a normal nature of humans to do everything possible to fit into their environment, so you see, you can never tell what these people are going through just to fit, it may lead them into forgetting the past totally, 98% of us will do same. so i don't blame anyone, i will do same, once in a while i'll remember my old friends.

14 Likes

Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by sylve11: 1:23pm On Sep 04, 2020
heendrix:

I think it's just some people's Life's orientation, any time they get way ahead a certain level they rather drop the friends they had there off and get to make new ones not minding what you guys had in the past

While some other responsibilities might be eating them up, this your assertion is also true... cool
Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by Ygrette(f): 1:24pm On Sep 04, 2020
optimusprime2:


Hey I couldn't just ignore this post...
At first I wanted to be blunt and straight out savage in my response, but it ocured to me that your post was honest and sincere meaning you are not aware of certain realities that exist outside of Nigeria, especially outside African territory, so I decided to be very detailed in breaking down certain things for your understanding ...


.

I hope you know this analysis of yours is worthy of being a headline topic on its own. It's so good that I screenshot and saved, just in case I need to educate someone in future.

5 Likes

Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by HonAdeli(m): 1:24pm On Sep 04, 2020
Yeah it's common though but it depends on the type of friendship you both keep. I have a close friend then in secondary school that traveled to Texas with his younger ones in 2015, this guy is the busy type that works always to pay school fees and bills. Still we chat sometimes once or twice in a month but my sister anytime he's less busy or weekends we talk for hours on WhatsApp call.
The thing is just leave them don't bother texting them when they have the time they would themselves, so far they know you ain't gonn bill them.

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by cray91(m): 1:24pm On Sep 04, 2020
That's The notion we need to correct for we africans! cuz someone travel out doesn't guarantee automatic success

Alot of us in naija are living better life than those in abroad
SoccerUSA:
As seen in the topic, I have two friends that travelled to the U.S, One travelled 2014 and the other one 2017, though before they left we had a good vibes we were both close if not best friends before they left.

The one of 2014 stopped texting me at 2018 or so even when I wished him birthday wishes and same with the other. I knew this because I only texted them on Facebook and you will know when they read and not reply.

I don't hold any grudges against them though
Did you guys think it's normal? Like if I leave Nigeria, Would I also ignore my friends text even if they do not request anything from me?

Please can someone just explain to me so I won't see my friends (maybe former friends) as bad ones.

7 Likes

Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by intruder15(m): 1:24pm On Sep 04, 2020
Etinosa1234:

I have a cousin that I’m older than with a year
We were tight friends when he was still in Nigeria

Then when he travelled to Australia , after I struggled to look for his fb username... he doesn’t reply my msgs... even if I comment under his posts, he’ll hardly reply

He’s not working or doing anything but he doesn’t reply my msg

His elder sister came back to Nigeria last year(that one is older than me with a year)

I asked her, give me ur WhatsApp number... let’s continue chatting when u get to Aussie, omo she jus snub me ooo

It’s ego that’s also doing some of them

I’ve stopped messaging them sha ... me self get self esteem

Las las i still wish them well

I have many cousins abroad but I was jus too close with this boy that I went through stress of searching for him online

Now I’m just planning my own movement out of this country lemme show the guy say abroad nor be anything for we Naija guys

The bolded isn't necessary. Travel out because u want to and have the resources to. Not to prove anything to anybody.

Because if you go with such mindset, you will definitely act like that your friend who thinks he is now the boss because e don see snow for the first time.

18 Likes

Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by Mrhonesty: 1:24pm On Sep 04, 2020
Obinnau:
Don't judge them until you leave.
Abroad no be the same as Naija. Too much responsibilities and no time for flimsy exchange of chats

It's a big lie. Events and circumstances do change most people. I had some friends like that before l travelled. But, not all of them.
Work more on yourself, make yourself their envy and they will be the people looking for you.
Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by Nwaotu10(m): 1:24pm On Sep 04, 2020
heendrix:

I think it's just some people's Life's orientation, any time they get way ahead a certain level they rather drop the friends they had there off and get to make new ones not minding what you guys had in the past

You're very correct.

I had a friend that was commissioned into the army lately as a second lieutenant.
He no longer return my chats since he came out from training.

I respected my self and shove him off as well. Life continues!

10 Likes

Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by rossovu: 1:25pm On Sep 04, 2020
Obinnau:
Don't judge them until you leave.
Abroad no be the same as Naija. Too much responsibilities and no time for flimsy exchange of chats
oga no one is too busy! Be it in the USA or Nigeria.

10 Likes

Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by BestOsai: 1:25pm On Sep 04, 2020
Petyprincess:
Actually those that stopped talking after traveling out were never your real friends!!
I could remember last two years my friend was traveling to Canada i actually thought he was gonna stopped talking to me nd as someone who is crushing on me but he surprised me shocked
He told me when is flight is moving,countries his flight will be connecting nd told me to put him in prayers that he should land safely,he was so transparent with me from the day he started his visa application to when he finished his degree,from applying to work permit etc,everything literally with unlimited pictures,struggles,reality that your normal friends wnt tell you!!

I have couple of friends living in abroad that i dnt talk to because we were not so close when they were living in Nigeria,they know they can't even deceive me like gullible Nigerians that think life there is bed of roses.

Some of my friends wnt let my status rest because of their abroad based friends,you will be seeing something like "my Toronto baby" "please bring me something from Dubai o" etc grin

If they stopped talking to you,you should ignore them also!! you ignore me i ignore you simple!!

One bottle of Heineken and one plate of cow head pepper soup for this babe.

Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by kingsolomonjnr01(m): 1:25pm On Sep 04, 2020
It's pride.
Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by panama789: 1:25pm On Sep 04, 2020
What kind of friends do you keep?..Who do u call your friend?...When u can answer those questions u will knw that what u have asked is senseless

4 Likes

Re: Why Do Your Friends Ignore You When They Finally Travel Out Of The Country? by MabraO: 1:26pm On Sep 04, 2020
See the long ass message my friend sent me on fb thank Hid they not the only one that can give excuse. My self find way to discard him..

5 Likes

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