Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.

We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.

now, I'm so confused with my life.

He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.


I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.

A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.

Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.

Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.

Sorry for my lengthy write-up

Obviously you still want him,have him all you want if you care less about money and comfort and ready to add more burden to your already stressed life as you rightly put it ,what has he been doing since all these years he abandoned you thats what you should be most concerned about.You are not his mother,let him go and find solace abi wetin sef with his family,thats why I hate all this school love,i can't count stories of heartbreaks that I've heard and seen.If you are strong enough to carry him along,do so but if you know you don't have the capability,please tell him to go stay with his family first.hmmm I have been looking for stories like this to read here since,it is well madam op

Let God bless you both.

Every child needs a father.

hmmmm the issue is serious.. if you love him then you can help him stamd on his feet... but no so soon... you need to keep him at arms length first... peace

If there's anyway you can help him build his life, please do. Let him get something doing before talking about marriage

First of all thank you for accepting him...

If ur mind accept him just continue with him...

Since you guys have know each other for long,im sure the both of you will make it ....

lalasticala
Seun

Divanona:
Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.

We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.

now, I'm so confused with my life.

He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.


I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.

A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.

Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.

Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.

Sorry for my lengthy write-up

I Could Feel Ur Deep Emotional Pains & How Deep Ur Heart Is Wounded Even As I Read Ur Story. I Would Av Told U Not To Accept Him 4 Abadoning U & 4 What He Put U Tru, But Accept Him Back If Not 4 Anything But 4 D Sake Dat He Sacrificed His Own School Fees 4 Urs. Dat Was What Touched My Heart Most Abt Him. It Takes Only Love 4 A Guy To Do Such 4 A Lady. Accept Him Back.

Whatever you choose to do is right, believe me, cos you alone will reap its outcome

Eight whole years!
Why did it take him that long?

Hummmm I'm speechless! Kindly follow your instincts

Hmmn, life.

dingbang:
Let God bless you both.
Every child needs a father.

Biased comment

mariahAngel:
Eight whole years!
Why did it take him that long?

abi ooo,thats the big question plus what has he been doing during those eight years

see comments from men,women have really suffered in this life,lets picture the whole thing the other way round, you can imagine the kind of comments you will read from these same men.

mariahAngel:
Eight whole years!
Why did it take him that long?

According to him, he couldn't graduate, he tried going back to school, he couldn't achieve that, he was not bold enough to face me nor my family because he felt he has hurt me so much and couldn't face my family.

If this story is real, don't hesitate to accept him back, not only do you have a child for him but he's the devil that you know. He sounds like a solid guy too. That he walked out on you then might be because he has too much on his mind then. I did just that after graduating with extra year, family financial problem and many other things going on then.I just dropped everything and everybody and focused on myself then. It wasn't a bad decision. I guess many Nigerian young men are prone to such early life crisis.

Zzor:
Biased comment

this small girl again. What do you know about life? Do you want to have an experience of that?

He left Again Part II story loading. Take him back, you hia?

To be serious, there is need to find out what occupied his life for 8 years when he abandoned you. So it's very important to know what kept him away. Only wicked, selfish people could do that ... forget how great he was back in school. Men can do anything just before climbing the mountain No be today.

Yeah, your kid is having a ball with a dad in his life and you are probably lonely too but use your head, madam. You can help him out from a safe distance. He can have access to his child as well as long as it's good for the kid. You could even date him if you want but don't be quick to commit yourself to anything. Looks like guy is just desperate and you're making it too easy for him. Chances are he would bolt again when he feels comfortable enough.

In other words, let guy go get his act together first before you let him in again. You have a good heart sha. I hope this doesn't land you in soup. I don't know how you can trust such a person again. Be very careful and good luck whatever you do. I hope his intentions are good this time and he does right by you if you take him back.

Divanona:
According to him, he couldn't graduate, he tried going back to school, he couldn't achieve that, he was not bold enough to face me nor my family because he felt he has hurt me so much and couldn't face my family.

Really? This was all he could come up with? What about his family? Not one person with a soul all those time? Erm, Ma'am, good luck to you. Really. You are going to need a lot of that.

<<< He doesn't have any certificate except a diploma.. Hmmm!!! I'm hearing it for the first time that diploma is not a certificate is this supposed to be a criteria to accept him.. check

<<<< Unemployed... is this suppose to be a criteria to accept or reject the Null hypothesis considering the fact that it's not a permanent thing check

<<<< He left u when u needed him the most.. is this a good and valid criteria to reject him.. check

<<<< Do u still have feelings for him after treating you poorly? Do u see a future with both of u together? Do u think he has changed and ready to make amendment/ settle down without taking off again? Check

<<< you are the only one that will answer these questions.. don't let anyone do it for you.

Divanona:
According to him, he couldn't graduate, he tried going back to school, he couldn't achieve that, he was not bold enough to face me nor my family because he felt he has hurt me so much and couldn't face my family.

But came after all, sit down and think about what you are about to put yourself through the second time, let him go and fix himself.

I assure you, you will come back here for another advise if you accept him.

He should better go for deliverance from the spirit of stagnancy, failure at the edge of breakthrough and non achievement, and leave marriage talk first. Don't add to your burden. Dem no born you born suffer

:Let God bless you both.
Every infant needs a son. prejudice clarification

Divanona:
Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.

We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.

now, I'm so confused with my life.

He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.


I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.

A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.

Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.

Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.

Sorry for my lengthy write-up

I am happy you said he was good to you.

Did he leave out of 'false machoism' to go and 'hustle' for you guys?

He convinced you to keep the pregnancy so I am assuming he intended to come back to you.

Good he is establishing a relationship with his son. What happened those years he was away? Can you check his SM? Doe he still claim to love you? Do you still love him?

If we put his current financial state aside, do you still want him? Does he still want you? If yes to both questions, then you both have to get your acts together.

You said he had dreams and ambition, can you awaken them again? What does it take to achieve them? Can you start working towards that path?

Also suspend any romance between you guys for now and focus on building yourselves.

And if you cannot forget romance/sex, you both get tested and ensure you use protection. You don't want another baby in this mix.

Goodluck.

Ishilove:
He should better go for deliverance from the spirit of stagnancy, failure at the edge of breakthrough and non achievement, and leave marriage talk first. Don't add to your burden. Dem no born you born suffer

@bold:

Why?

Divanona:

He was a kind, good person and even paid my school fees but left when I needed him the most while I was pregnant. Women!

And he didn't care to see his son for eight years? Now he is back wanting to take responsibility? Have you asked him what this 'taking responsibility' means practically speaking? This is what I would like to know. Is your father around? My father would have a serious conversation with this guy if it was me. He would have to have specific answers to very specific questions, not vague statements like 'now I want to take responsibility'.

@ Op, first of all he never loved u forget all these sacrifice of school fees he did during school.Some people do some certain things to get favour in return. Secondly, he remembered u because he needs solace nd he knows u will accept him

My advice is dont start what u cant finish and if u feel u can finish it, just av @ d back of ur mind dat he will leave wen he' back 2 his feet

Just help him d way u can nd be careful baby number 2 might be loading...

Be careful

ezugegere:
If there's anyway you can help him build his life, please do. Let him get something doing before talking about marriage

Nairalander guys and hypocrisy, so u can be quick to say she should help him buh if the other way round u'll be d first to shout " oga leave that babe, Nigerian babes aint loyal" abi

Zzor:
see comments from men,women have really suffered in this life,lets picture the whole thing the other way round, you can imagine the kind of comments you will read from these same men.

U dey mind them ni, women av nt suffered and will never suffer unless u choose to suffer in their hands