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Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by missyblissy: 10:27pm On Sep 28, 2020
Divanona:
Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.

We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.

now, I'm so confused with my life.

He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.


I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.

A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.

Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.

Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.

Sorry for my lengthy write-up


You better run for your life and move in with I ur life. He can be in his sons life but not yours. Don't say I didnt warn you. Think with your head and not your heart. You need a man that will help lighten your burden not add to it. Madam If he's wants solace and comfort direct him to his family. You don't need a parasite now oooo. Think with your head and don't make a great mistake.

You know what to do inside you. If it is forgiveness he wants. Forgive him and.let him leave your family house. He abandoned you and your child for 8yeara... Karma is a dish best served cold. Now he has retraced his steps back to you as nothing is working for him.
Do not listen to his excuses and that's all you will ever get from him. Please do it for your son.
Run run run and keep running oooo oooo

3 Likes

Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Sarang(f): 10:27pm On Sep 28, 2020
Ask yourself would he have come back if he had made it?

Well, therein lies your decision.
All the best

4 Likes

Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by GOFRONT(m): 10:27pm On Sep 28, 2020
Well, I hope he is not come back to apply Okafor's law of CongoElasticity.....
Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by sirbabajoe: 10:29pm On Sep 28, 2020
[color=#770077][/color]For The eight did he tried to communicate with you? If no dnt accept him back
Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by stagger: 10:29pm On Sep 28, 2020
What many women do not understand is that a man has to first BE A MAN taking on a woman and a child or children to go with it.

What you have is not a man but a liability seeking for who to lean on. Very soon his inadequacies will show up and become a real problem.

6 Likes

Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Sarang(f): 10:30pm On Sep 28, 2020
SweetCunt97:
Bad belle as in? Pls let's stop this bias.

The guy is suffering what karma dished out to him.

And marriage with nothing. Phew!
Nah sand sand go dey pay una rent
I pity you if you stay with him
We all know that’s a second phase of suffering
Nah so you like suffering reach ni

Ps: sorry wrong quote. Was meant for op
Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Nobody: 10:30pm On Sep 28, 2020
SweetCunt97:
D kindness and sacrifice burnt when he abandoned her o. Taking care of a baby alone ain't cheap. There's no positive cos the guy came back broke.

Well.. people are different. I have a value of repaying good deeds but that's just me.
Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by luscioustrish(f): 10:30pm On Sep 28, 2020
Forgive him, allow him be a father to his child while you move on with your own life. You don't have to be romantically involved with him.

4 Likes

Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by jameel6: 10:31pm On Sep 28, 2020
He is here cos he has nothing, if he had made money you won't ever see him.be careful what you do with him, he is a stranger.

5 Likes

Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Sarang(f): 10:31pm On Sep 28, 2020
Diariess:


Well.. people are different. I have a value of repaying kindness but that's just me smiley

Kindness ontop sufferhead
She needs someone to take care of her
Period!
Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Iamsane: 10:31pm On Sep 28, 2020
Whatever you do. Please don't get pregnant if the man is not capable of providing for the family. Goodnight

1 Like

Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by jaxxy(m): 10:32pm On Sep 28, 2020
Divanona:
Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.

We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.

now, I'm so confused with my life.

He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.


I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.

A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.

Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.

Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.

Sorry for my lengthy write-up



There is NO CONFUSION HERE. He wants to come back and be with his only family after abandoning them. It’s fine bt nobody shud be rushed into any serious or formal arrangement. Let him have anything u can afford him to get back his life on track. When he gets his life on track then u can talk about any serious or formal arrangements if he still wants to.

For now it’s to observe and help him gather his plans.

3 Likes

Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Sarang(f): 10:32pm On Sep 28, 2020
Divanona:
Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.

We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.

now, I'm so confused with my life.

He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.


I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.

A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.

Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.

Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.

Sorry for my lengthy write-up


Don’t let him into your life
He will impregnant you and dump you AGAIN!
When people show you their color the first time, believe them.
You did not come into this world to suffer
And your son can have a good relationship with this man WITHOUT marriage
Run for your life! RUN!


Plus he is penniless!
What exactly was he doing with his life all these while to turn out this bad despite his aspirations?!
They wean.. his aspirations are dead!

1 Like

Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Xixtie(f): 10:34pm On Sep 28, 2020
Zzor:
see comments from men,women have really suffered in this life,lets picture the whole thing the other way round, you can imagine the kind of comments you will read from these same men.
Most Nairaland guys are just bunch of biased idiots.

6 Likes

Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Nobody: 10:34pm On Sep 28, 2020
Xixtie:
Most Nairaland guys are just bunch of biased idiots.
lol
Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by eenai(m): 10:35pm On Sep 28, 2020
Young Lady, leave that man alone. He is just falling back to the last resort. Better still give it time, don't start showing emotions immediately. Be sure he is genuine. He should not be talking about marriage when he has nothing. That's a red flag. Meaning he just wants you to shoulder every thing because he has figured out that you are yet to be married and may find it a bit difficult to cos of the child. Babe shine your eyes. It is wrong to marry out of pity. No start wetin you no go fit finish O.

5 Likes

Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by luminouz(m): 10:35pm On Sep 28, 2020
Zzor:
see comments from men,women have really suffered in this life,lets picture the whole thing the other way round, you can imagine the kind of comments you will read from these same men.
K
Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Nobody: 10:35pm On Sep 28, 2020
I do feel your pain but I am happy you do let him see his kids.Eight years is a long time but it takes one year of Grace and Mercy to forget all the pains.He needs you,if you're a great woman you do format his brain properly and mould him well Besides kids do have great angels.
Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Onyxunlimited(f): 10:35pm On Sep 28, 2020
You took care of his son alone including feeding, clothing, shelter, hospital bills after delivery and when sick, school fees etc that should cover for the school fees he paid for you over 100 times.
Now what do you want to do with a jobless man? Do you want to be the man and the woman in the family when you are not a widow? Will you raise your kid with your money and eventually get pregnant and raise other kids too by yourself? Will you cook, clean, do laundry and do all the duties of a wife and still hustle like a man to feed your children and your husband? When your family grows, do you know that you may have to move out of your brother's house and pay rent?
My candid advice is for you to allow the father of your kid visitation right and that's all. If you like start dating him and get pregnant again for him, don't say nobody warned you ooo.
8 years is too long to be away from you guys. He only came back because no other woman will accept him.
Be wise, woman!

6 Likes

Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by adecz: 10:36pm On Sep 28, 2020
undecided

The guy has nothing to offer,
he only came back because go
no go for am.

If he gets an alternative, he will
leave again..

Meanwhile, how come you sef
never marry??

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by calmnquiet(m): 10:36pm On Sep 28, 2020
Divanona:
Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.

We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.

now, I'm so confused with my life.

He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.


I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.

A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.

Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.

Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.

Sorry for my lengthy write-up


Any decision you take is right

But, you can use this simple method, flip a coin. It works not because it's just a coin, but in that few seconds the coin is in the air, you would know in your heart what you really want or should do.
Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by franchasng: 10:37pm On Sep 28, 2020
ComrDaprince:




And it might be that the man is now made. And might first want to know if someone else has taken his place. How will someone who have come back after eight years with nothing be talking about wedding...

then he should quit playing useless games and tell her straight how much billions he has acquired since the past 8 years he went to oblivion angry


What kind of nonsense test is that


If you don't know, many guys don't have shame, they are so foolish...there are many of them. You send them to school they go there to join cult and be forming big boys....like play like play, they will be rusticated from school or run away from school for fear of reprisal attack from their rivals they have damaged their people. How can you tell your sister to trust such a foolish guy that used his life to gamble


It is hunger that's making him act loyal now....the lady should caution him seriously whenever he mentions marriage with that his empty pocket. Having a dick does not qualify a man as a husband .


If he have any money, he should go and bring it and start to spend on his son first.

8 Likes

Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Nobody: 10:37pm On Sep 28, 2020
Sarang:


Kindness ontop sufferhead
She needs someone to take care of her
Period!

She doesn't have to take him back and I didn't insinuate that in my post. I'm just saying one good turn deserves another no matter the length of time that has passed. If she can help him find his footing without harming herself, I don't see any reason why she shouldn't.
Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by luminouz(m): 10:37pm On Sep 28, 2020
Lmaoooo...

The ladies really poured into this thread oh... grin
Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by MissprudenceD(f): 10:37pm On Sep 28, 2020
I think he is back because as you have said, he has nothing. Let him go, so that you do not carry his burden on your head but let him have a relationship with his son

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Nobody: 10:37pm On Sep 28, 2020
luminouz:
K
K
Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by abbey621(m): 10:37pm On Sep 28, 2020
Let's leave him for a minute, his case is still loading with his village people. Woman, what have you been doing for 8 years? Do you mean you still reside in your family home? You didn't marry? No serious relationship? If you had moved on with your life, there would be no need of you entertaining the devil.

Look at it this way, people make mistakes, it is conceivable that a guy ran away for a year or maybe 2 or 3 but woman 8 freaking years! Come on woman, you're smarter than that! If you use your child as an excuse to settle down with him then be prepared for him to leave once again when his village people strarts calling. The guy never gave a flip about that child so don't even entertain the thought, the major factor here should be you! Why haven't you moved on? Are you deformed? Do you have a mental illness? Evaluate yourself and determine why you've not been able to move on and then look at the guy and decide for yourself are you guys a match made in heaven or hell? I don talk too much grin grin grin

5 Likes

Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by midolian(m): 10:39pm On Sep 28, 2020
Ishilove:
He should better go for deliverance from the spirit of stagnancy, failure at the edge of breakthrough and non achievement, and leave marriage talk first. Don't add to your burden. Dem no born you born suffer

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by Oyerinde16(m): 10:39pm On Sep 28, 2020
The story is full of Want of What than, worth of Who he his... It seems he came back after all this years with nothing and that's the crux... If he had come back with E500, and works offshore earning #10M monthly, he would have being welcome back and Married immediately, we for no they hear he came back with nothing. Abeg if you love him without money accept him, but if you know you want him with money and he doesn't have it, send him parking asap...

4 Likes

Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by almarthins(m): 10:40pm On Sep 28, 2020
Zzor:
see comments from men,women have really suffered in this life,lets picture the whole thing the other way round, you can imagine the kind of comments you will read from these same men.

Na men dey enjoy? The story is incomplete without the guy's side of it. Some tin mouth and eyes cant phantomed had happened to this guy.

The lady still love him because d guy is a good guy. Na because d guy no fit guarantee fanancial security thats she dey confuse.
Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by pocohantas(f): 10:41pm On Sep 28, 2020
Stay there and be doing mumu love. Men always looking for fixers like you.

After moving upandan like evil spirits in their youth, when they are old and broke- they will now come back to that virtuous woman. Same thing you see in marriages. Womanize in youth, come back to their wives with Nigerian used penis and damaged internal organs. Your work will now be to cook vegetable soup without pepper and spices. You will also learn to turn wheat and pound unripe plantain for him.

Ndi virtuous women. I don’t blame him, na you I blame. 8 fcking years... Pfftttt!!

14 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Left Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing by franchasng: 10:41pm On Sep 28, 2020
adecz:

undecided

The guy has nothing to offer,
he only came back because go
no go for am.

If he gets an alternative, he will
leave again..

Meanwhile, how come you sef
never marry??
it's not easy for a single mother to marry in Nigeria and in fact all over the world. That thing no good. It limits a girl's future.


Ladies please always advice your daughters to be very careful with unprotected sex to avoid getting pregnant out of wedlock, it limits a girls goals.


Ladies without kids never see husband nowto marry, talk more of a lady with a child, it takes the special grace of God To happen cry

2 Likes 1 Share

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