₦airaland Forum

Diariess:
She doesn't have to take him back and I didn't insinuate that in my post. I'm just saying one good turn deserves another no matter the length of time that has passed. If she can help him find his footing without harming herself, I don't see any reason why she shouldn't.

abbey621:
Let's leave him for a minute, his case is still loading with his village people. Woman, what have you been doing for 8 years? Do you mean you still reside in your family home? You didn't marry? No serious relationship? If you had moved on with your life, there would be no need of you entertaining the devil.

Look at it this way, people make mistakes, it is conceivable that a guy ran away for a year or maybe 2 or 3 but woman 8 freaking years! Come on woman, you're smarter than that! If you use your child as an excuse to settle down with him then be prepared for him to leave once again when his village people strarts calling. The guy never gave a flip about that child so don't even entertain the thought, the major factor here should be you! Why haven't you moved on? Are you deformed? Do you have a mental illness? Evaluate yourself and determine why you've not been able to move on and then look at the guy and decide for yourself are you guys a match made in heaven or hell? I don talk too much

AtoningBlood:
Op, my advise is, pray. Don't joke with that, no matter the advise here, pray and let God lead you.
If God is leading you, be sure it is all well.

Jamean:
@divanona

You're better off by yourself taking care of the child. He came back because he has nothing and knows you have not really moved on. He sees you as a placeholder and just wants to settle with you. You're not his dream woman.

Many years ago during one of the Super story episodes where a man abandoned his twin baby girls and wife for years, my dad clearly told me a well meaning man who loves a woman will never do that, he'd rather be in your lives no matter how little he can provide. That episode didn't end in happy ever after.

My dad further gave clear examples of 2 of his relatives who did same thing for 14years and 18years respectively. I grew up to hear these men disappeared without a trace and showed up with nothing many years later. The women are still fending for those men and trained the children single handedly.

The day he has the means to be with his dream woman he will still abandon you and move on again. You would have built him for another woman. Don't play pity party of your child's father bla bla. What if he were not alive?

If you accept him and fall for the marriage scam you end up fending for that family alone and you will be worse off than when it was just you. Forget whatever happened in the past, him unable to graduate and get hold of his life this whole time speaks of his readiness for life and is a very red flag. Magic don't happen, people have to work for the life they want.

I've taken my time to write this epistle because of what I know. You need to move on and level up and probably marry someone else that will make your life easier.

@divanona you can save this my comment and refer to it in the future.

franchasng:
it is well.

Any young person reading this should listen, your future is built between the age of 20 to 30yrs. Whatever decisions you make between these period will determine how your future and entire life would look like except God intervenes.


Don't waste away your youthful age.

Don't ever think you are too young to make great choices or decisions. Whatever you wish to be, start from when you are 20yrs to build yourself around that dream and goal, don't wait.

You can start something small and grow from there. Don't be shy to do any legal job or business or handwork that fetches you legitimate money please.


I am speaking from my personal life. I have seen it all. I passed through a lot so I am in a position to speak to young people on this.


There are plenty money to be picked on the streets of Nigeria oh, don't dull yourself, you don't need a masters degree to pick these gold coins. I am done

Hangulsaram:
No my dear, I don’t insult people and I did n’t insult you either. I quit understand your position and Infact i can now see your reasons well, but I’m saying the Lady should take him just like that but that she should evaluate him well if he is ready to get something doing and if he have any good plan for them, then she might consider. No vex that said you are mean, I was just being sarcastic.

1StopRudeness:
They told to him to go a bring a lady he has slept with for money rituals..don’t fall for his crocodile tears and his remorseful pretense....
u don’t need him... uve been fine without him for close to a decade..


My sister......... japa!!!!!!!

Divanona:
Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.

We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.

now, I'm so confused with my life.

He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.


I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.

A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.

Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.

Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.

Sorry for my lengthy write-up

Jamean:
The lady shock me o!

No be only I want to marry you Nigga wants to tie her down for the rest of his life so he can walk in and out at will.

Edyice:
Divanona 98% have told you to japaa

And 98% is an A1 if not A1+ self

Everyone knows about theme (once beaten twice shy )




JUST NOTE : that dude will japaa when baby number 2 enter ( that's if you decide to date him)



A word is enough for the wise

1StopRudeness:
The ego of a man should prevent him from coming back empty after 8years ...
he’s desperate, I have a strong feeling he wants to use her or the kid for rituals....

abouzaid:
If this story is real, don't hesitate to accept him back, not only do you have a child for him but he's the devil that you know. He sounds like a solid guy too. That he walked out on you then might be because he has too much on his mind then. I did just that after graduating with extra year, family financial problem and many other things going on then.I just dropped everything and everybody and focused on myself then. It wasn't a bad decision. I guess many Nigerian young men are prone to such early life crisis.

Divanona:
Going through all the comments here and all the things in my head, I get more confused.
It will be simple and easy for me to sleep peacefully and don't even woke up again. All this failure, problem in my life will not border me again after, I have tried. I know my son will be okay.

How on Earth can I allowed a man who has hurt me that much, here in infront of me. With all the way I have suffered and I'm still struggling to establish my business because I don't have a job, I'm not rich, my family is not rich.
I have met couple of people I should have willing get married to, but I declined.

Now the only thing I can do is allowing this same guy around me without any positive contributions.
The only reason I have is: my son need his father, I saw the kind of boldness, courage he shows among his friends for this few days, and it makes me happy that he's happy.
But I still have more pain inside

Two years ago, I wanted to get married, this new guy was all over me. He was fully in my son's Life. We were so much in love. But we couldn't get married because I caught him with a habit which I wouldn't want to disclose publicly. And he couldn't stopped the habit, so I quit the relationship and returned his ring.

Since then, I've been so sceptical about getting emotional with any man. And my son have equally been all by himself. It took him a long time to be able to forget about the new guy. Which really hurt me.

Right now, I feel I have really tried, just that I have also been a total failure, I couldn't work out my life as well, otherwise, what kind of ignorance would keep me down for this years.

I'm beautiful, not lazy, I'm a good person, I'm not a flirt, Every day I keep meeting admirers. Why did I keep chasing them away?
I feel like a failed in so many ways.

I feel should I go to bed, and never wake up, I will be more relaxed and nothing will border me anymore

I can express myself here because no one knows me here physically.

My life story is really hurible.

He has been going around looking for a house to rent and start his life.

He told me yesterday, one of his friend sent him 40k and he intend to use it to get his place.
He's seriously looking for a house now,
he said he don't want to be far away from us again,

ZedicusZurZoran:
he has com to test your loyalty,ability to sacrifice for your family and whether your love for him is tied to his wealth.
i tell you, that young man is a millionaire in disguise. 8years with nothing to show for it sounds contracdicting to the guy that had a clear path, plan and vision when you guys were still undergraduates.

AnonymousRebec:
Super Story

flyca:
No problem dear. #handshake

merieam16:
na ur nyash dey smell, go wash am dirty boy

joyandfaith:
Where is his family? He is a criminal probably a cultist living a fugitive life. He might have even impregnated other ladies in different locationi He would impregnate you again and disappear.

nunnu:
Is gross foolishness to think because you have a child with someone you have to marry them.

Bennysam:
Hoe

Zzor:
see comments from men,women have really suffered in this life,lets picture the whole thing the other way round, you can imagine the kind of comments you will read from these same men.

idtwo:
He is just teasing you. OP means Original Poster referring to the individual who started the story thread.

dingbang:
Let God bless you both.

Every child needs a father.

Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he's back without anything.

We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.
I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He's around in my family house, staying in my brother's room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.

now, I'm so confused with my life.

He couldn't graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.


I feel I'm about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they're building.

A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don't settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I'm not contented.

Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel ishould push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don't have the strength to shoulder all these.

Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it's getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don't want to make more mistakes.

Sorry for my lengthy write-up

Hardlife:
Hello ma.. Please I would like to speak with yoi

Please I hope you reply me ma