₦airaland Forum

MadeMan01:
My brother it is hard.
That is my exact predicament. The simple truth is that Nigerian economy is so harsh that it has made people put a monetary value on everything even love.
My predicament is I met a lovely girl three years ago whilst working. She was in her final year then and just completed NYSC. I lost my job in first trimester of last year. But before my girl left for NYSC in November 2019, I was getting some unsavoury vibes from her. I asked her about it she didn't speak out. But as a guy, I suspected the stress of me being jobless played a role. Prior to this, the girl told me she wants to go abroad and for this reason i started moves.
Can you believe, this lady couldn't even wait for the outcome of the process despite knowing how far I'd gone with application and frequent teasing me about seeing her folks which I planned for December 2020. She messaged me in February 2020 to break it off for some guy in Abuja.
Fast forward to November 2020, abroad visa has clicked and the girl that should be enjoying it is nowhere around me. I really love her. My brain tells me to leave her, my heart says go back to her forgive her stupidity after all she planted the seed of abroad in my head. Also I have two bank job offers.
I am considering leaving her, going abroad and getting a foreign woman but a part of me holds her dear. I know Nigerian poverty caused her to make that decision. But my concern is whether she would have learnt her lesson and won't give up on me in Future joint project no matter how hard

if u know wetin good for u...u go run with ur leg reaching ur shoulders...the right time to know a God sent girl is wen the storm in a mans life is high...but she discharge u without thinking of the good old days when things where rossy...now things don't soft back u wan forgive her....someone tga cheated on u while both of u were still dating ..she even dumped u later on ...now u wan forgive am saying ur heart holds her dearly...u are the biggest fool I have ever come across....if u were my elder brother I for blow ur mouth make sure say ur lip tear ...then wego fight better fight ...mugu.

lekki1444:
brother, women are punishment for men. once you understnd that you will stop looking for a good woman but will start to make your way good and righteous with God, then God will tame your woman and will let her be at peace with you. but to think there is a peaceful woman out there is foolishness. they are luna beings aka lunatic. only God can tame your woman for you and that is incumbent on you taming yourself first

Wise words bro..

How can he pocess what he is looking for in a woman? Don't u know opposites attract?
If he possess what he is looking for in a woman then he might as well marry himself ���

Zzor:
I hope you posses exactly what you are looking for in a woman? you can not be a man LovePeddler and expect to get a good woman, no ooo, it won't work that way. May you find your type soon

Funkyswagzz:
I don't need anyone that is hot tempered or stubborn.

That's all.

EdoFirstBorn:
Yes too hard because 99% are whôres
Materialistic, manipulative, pathological lairs

Most of them have lost what makes them women that's why when you are with them you quickly feel the need to exit that conversation or just have her leave.

They feel like men ... Yurk

They are a lost course.. that's why you have so many over aged unmarried women in Nigeria

I predict that in the coming years more and more of these over aged women will become nuns .

99% are whores!!! How did you came up with this percentage... I doubt if you're sure of this percentage.

MadeMan01:
My brother it is hard.
That is my exact predicament. The simple truth is that Nigerian economy is so harsh that it has made people put a monetary value on everything even love.
My predicament is I met a lovely girl three years ago whilst working. She was in her final year then and just completed NYSC. I lost my job in first trimester of last year. But before my girl left for NYSC in November 2019, I was getting some unsavoury vibes from her. I asked her about it she didn't speak out. But as a guy, I suspected the stress of me being jobless played a role. Prior to this, the girl told me she wants to go abroad and for this reason i started moves.
Can you believe, this lady couldn't even wait for the outcome of the process despite knowing how far I'd gone with application and frequent teasing me about seeing her folks which I planned for December 2020. She messaged me in February 2020 to break it off for some guy in Abuja.
Fast forward to November 2020, abroad visa has clicked and the girl that should be enjoying it is nowhere around me. I really love her. My brain tells me to leave her, my heart says go back to her forgive her stupidity after all she planted the seed of abroad in my head. Also I have two bank job offers.
I am considering leaving her, going abroad and getting a foreign woman but a part of me holds her dear. I know Nigerian poverty caused her to make that decision. But my concern is whether she would have learnt her lesson and won't give up on me in Future joint project no matter how hard

Have you prayed about it? God can direct you.

Take my candid advice join a course.and look out to meet someone.you would start as friends then it would grow into a relationship .then marriage.remember if someone gets on a course the person can afford it.so you would meet no or less gold diggers.the relationship would be very natural.thank me later

because d men made it so difficult

Amiee99:
It's not so hard. Most of " " are home, nursing heartbreak and dedicating time to other things. Most of the time, it seems they're also not meeting guys that are responsible. Just the way good guys aren't seeing "the one", so also are good ladies not also seeing "the one".

very true

Angelacruz:
because d men made it so difficult

My dear no one is to blame.. it's all about tolerance and I observed women easily get angry on something that is not even an issue. There are few women who can tolerate

Oluromantic:
God bless your wisdom. You aren't married yet but you are on the right path thinking properly. Compatibility is very important and germane. I still wonder how some girls think they can reach the depth of a man's heart with lack of respect and submission. Honestly it baffles me, even nature is confused because that's not God's original plan. Well they say some men like it, that's why I don't argue it at all. I was once in such a relationship too, she was impatient intolerant and always want all my decision to be about her in the name of caring. I couldn't cope I had to opt out. I boldly told her to her face that we had to quit. She asked why, I said we're not compatible. She left with dramatic grudges which included calls, chats, utmost rudeness, abuses etc. I felt emotional trauma at first but today I'm thanking God for the decision. I have peace of mind.

bro eradicate submission and replace it with co operation, the women have gone pass this naa ,if you truly want a submissive woman please check up remote villages,most of this chics make good money ,so they dont need your coins that calls for submission,what ever you can offer them ,they can also buy for themselves double.if you dey look for submissiveness you go tey for bus stop. and lastly tone down your ego ,the women have all evolve.

BusinessCity:
Smh. Wetin happen inside life

The life no balance na..

Funkyswagzz:
My dear no one is to blame.. it's all about tolerance and I observed women easily get angry on something that is not even an issue. There are few women who can tolerate

is not easy finding d right partner...God will help us

Kendyrich:
Finding a wife depends on your person. Are you a child of God?

If no, then your finding a wife would be by luck, trial and error. No guarantee anywhere.

If yes, then The Bible says a good wife is from The Lord. There's just one way of going about it - depending on Him.
You have to pray and wait for Him to give you a wife.
First you have to know how God speaks to you because He speaks to us differently.
When you have known how He speaks to you, pray and ask Him for your wife,then wait and He will speak to you the way He usually does.
It has to be this way because only God can tell the end and the beginning. Humans are very cunning and only God knows the hearts of humans. This way of finding a partner is guaranteed. If you are not a child of God therefore, get born again first.
What about the people who are not born again but have been enjoying their marriages?
The answer is luck, then ultimately the mercy of God.
I am happily married to a very beautiful woman and both of us are children of God, to His glory.
Before I met her, I had two girls in my life and was confused on who could be my wife.Then I met my pastor who told me to withdraw from both,pray and wait.
In summary, I did what he said and eventually my wife came through. She was not any of the two I occupied myself with.
God help and be with you.

This is apt... I will. Consider this options of yours too

Funkyswagzz:
This is roughly a year and four months I have decided to find someone to marry. It's been so dramatic all along and I'm getting tried already. I want a woman who I am compatible with. I don't need anyone that is hot tempered or stubborn. I want a woman that is hard workin who loves me the way i am. Is it so difficult to find? I came out from a crazy relationship and I don't want to experience something like that anymore. I don't want issues all the time.

The funny thing happening at the moment is that am "tryin to"(still at the process) date my ex's high school mate. The way our part crossed again was just ironic. Sometimes I feel stupid for tryin to date her tho she's not the reason why we broke up. Salute to those that got married. Abeg how una take do am..

hahahaha

[u have go do three crucial things.1. Pray to your creator for your destiny partner,bone if ur bone,he alone knows who and where she is.2.pray for patience.3.U must develop the qualities of a good man.u must make urself her dream man.ask urself Would u want to marry u if u were a woman? There are too many animals in human flesh out there.quote author=Funkyswagzz post=96574980]This is roughly a year and four months I have decided to find someone to marry. It's been so dramatic all along and I'm getting tried already. I want a woman who I am compatible with. I don't need anyone that is hot tempered or stubborn. I want a woman that is hard workin who loves me the way i am. Is it so difficult to find? I came out from a crazy relationship and I don't want to experience something like that anymore. I don't want issues all the time.

The funny thing happening at the moment is that am "tryin to"(still at the process) date my ex's high school mate. The way our part crossed again was just ironic. Sometimes I feel stupid for tryin to date her tho she's not the reason why we broke up. Salute to those that got married. Abeg how una take do am..[/quote]

Rossycee:
The life no balance na..

If I hug you dia.


Life balance, na persin go stand well

[Really?men love easily?marry who they don't love.Why do u say so? quote author=sammirano post=96591199]

Tales by moonlight. In you own best interest forget about that woman. If someone can leave you at any point due to one thing or the other, then they will leave you when such happens in future its all about time.

The problem is men love easily but to find a woman that loves you is hard. That's why I said men should try and marry the person they don't love.[/quote]

To find good woman dey hard for NIGERIA.
Majority of them are after money.

deewhydoski:
My brother I have been in ur shoes for more than a year now, I just keep meeting frogs. Majority of them don't love me truly, na because of what they will get from me.

hahahaha

lordally:
You spoke well bro!! And you spoke wisely bro!! I respect you for that...the thing is based on my experience any girl who leaves you due to your present situation even after she sees how you're trying so hard to progress in life doesn't deserve you...that's just what I think... And as regards my girl, I don't think I can leave her you know why See I grew up in a lovely home where I saw the love between my dad and my mum and I was proud the love was so cool it rubbed on I and my bro then tragedy struck and she died of cancer now after some time, my dad remarried and that was the worst mistake he made in his life the woman he married doesn't give him peace of mind!! So as a guy who has experienced these 2 type of scenario and I've gotten enough Tutoring about marriage from my dad for years...when I spotted her I knew she was the one. The only person holding us from settling down is her...cos she's not ready yet...she wants to serve and set up her own business or starts working before marriage and I respect that...

Respect bro!!

well said and I respect your opinion more so you were able to express it without getting insulting which is what most people would do. I wish you and your lady the best then. just to mention, I ain't a bro!!! I'm a full blown lady�

planetx13:
Please don't put pressure on yourself and don't let anyone tell you anything else.
The woman you are looking for is out there... Don't lower your standards for anyone....try building yourself as you do this ...... not to attract any woman but for yourself....
If you notice any woman is not to your standard , then let her go immediately... don't sound desperate and look beyond beauty....


Ciao

he should look byound beauty and thesame time not lower his stand?
How?

helinues:
Probably you have been going to wrong places.

If you are really serious and have the financial strength, within 6 months you should see better girl to date/marry.

Just make sure you stick to your love map

But, if you get some bad attitudes that are somehow unknown to you, trust me, nobody wants future calamity

hahahaha

You get bad mouth ooo
How will u call God's creature future calamity

baby124:
If it’s so hard then, you are the problem. Whether physically, emotionally or mentally. They are running from you for a reason. Check yourself and change.

is not true,u should have asked him to lower his taste.

Ppl worst than him is getting married, don't decive him.

MadeMan01:
My brother it is hard.
That is my exact predicament. The simple truth is that Nigerian economy is so harsh that it has made people put a monetary value on everything even love.
My predicament is I met a lovely girl three years ago whilst working. She was in her final year then and just completed NYSC. I lost my job in first trimester of last year. But before my girl left for NYSC in November 2019, I was getting some unsavoury vibes from her. I asked her about it she didn't speak out. But as a guy, I suspected the stress of me being jobless played a role. Prior to this, the girl told me she wants to go abroad and for this reason i started moves.
Can you believe, this lady couldn't even wait for the outcome of the process despite knowing how far I'd gone with application and frequent teasing me about seeing her folks which I planned for December 2020. She messaged me in February 2020 to break it off for some guy in Abuja.
Fast forward to November 2020, abroad visa has clicked and the girl that should be enjoying it is nowhere around me. I really love her. My brain tells me to leave her, my heart says go back to her forgive her stupidity after all she planted the seed of abroad in my head. Also I have two bank job offers.
I am considering leaving her, going abroad and getting a foreign woman but a part of me holds her dear. I know Nigerian poverty caused her to make that decision. But my concern is whether she would have learnt her lesson and won't give up on me in Future joint project no matter how hard

You remind me of this funny video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwUyUxwS328

bereavedheart:
I have also been asking myself,where have all the good men gone?

Lol..

I've also been asking as all we have these days are chicken hearted men. They chicken out easily at the slightest provocation like the chicken they are.

They be looking for miss perfect when they themselves have zero characters. Mtcheeewww...

Tyewolove:
99% are whores!!! How did you came up with this percentage... I doubt if you're sure of this percentage.

I dated three ladies within 19-22.. I met none of them a virgin. that pretty much means they've been hoeing around since sec school.

Oluromantic:
God bless your wisdom. You aren't married yet but you are on the right path thinking properly. Compatibility is very important and germane. I still wonder how some girls think they can reach the depth of a man's heart with lack of respect and submission. Honestly it baffles me, even nature is confused because that's not God's original plan. Well they say some men like it, that's why I don't argue it at all. I was once in such a relationship too, she was impatient intolerant and always want all my decision to be about her in the name of caring. I couldn't cope I had to opt out. I boldly told her to her face that we had to quit. She asked why, I said we're not compatible. She left with dramatic grudges which included calls, chats, utmost rudeness, abuses etc. I felt emotional trauma at first but today I'm thanking God for the decision. I have peace of mind.

even the words you hear them say is a pointer to the fact that we have just 1 out of 10000 ladies who qualify to be a wife, words like... I don't need stress, I can't be controlled, I wanna be independent. Netflix has destroyed many in d name of feminism.

lekki1444:
brother, women are punishment for men. once you understnd that you will stop looking for a good woman but will start to make your way good and righteous with God, then God will tame your woman and will let her be at peace with you. but to think there is a peaceful woman out there is foolishness. they are luna beings aka lunatic. only God can tame your woman for you and that is incumbent on you taming yourself first

Better confirm oil dey your head. @ the bolded, serious lunas aka dangbana chokos.

Meanwhile bro code 102: there should be no chair in your bedroom. I comment in peace.

Marriage is so sweet onset,like ten years later sh**t gets real.People do change I guess we blame that on situation there have been presented with.
You can never be too sure,if you ask me I would tell you to go for a lady that loves you more which is most likely going to give you a peaceful relationship.