trust me dear u dont need experienced married folks to advice u cus they themselves havent mastered it yet, why dont u ask God to show u who ur life partner is by doing something u have never done b4 for God, think about it dear

Hassanmaye:

Just like we have alpha male you are alpha female kudos

Oh no! You have just ruined Christmas.

cassyrooy:
Your psyche has been completely altered to no return.

Everyone is crazy on NL, this's what Feminists and Redpillers have caused.

But she no lie na.

They still gona cheat on you...

keneharry:

My dear,his comment is soo wack..Can't believe a sensible chap made this comment

Can he be sensible?

It depends on the type of man he is .... Ask yourself these questions and answer sincerely. Do you think the reason for his financial struggles is because he lacks necessary support? Would you be able to provide the needed support or help in getting the support? I wouldn't advice you to go ahead in marrying him. Let him at least have something bringing income. Infact he has not business thinking about marriage without sorting his finances . He musnt be rich but should at least have a source of income that can carter for himself and you to an extent. Even the bible stated that a man that cannot provide for his household is worse than an infidel. If you so love him, see how you can help him come out of this financial state and not just financing his needs or the marriage. marrying him in this state isn't advisable. Well, in all, pray for God's leading if you are a Christian cos he knows the end from the beginning.

God bless me financial so that my topic won't be discussed about the woman I truly Love....
Heavenly Father bless that Young man financially and established is plan.
Amen.

Cutehector:
That being said, marriage only favours the lady. End of discussion.

As you can see, she can't marry the guy because he is broke.

Father in heaven, please remind me never to marry a broke woman.

Lol another alpha male in site

TransAtlanticEx:
The real question is,
Are financially stable men looking for you to marry or to sleep with?
Before you insult me or broke shame me,pleaseknow that I am very very comfortable and as such wouldn't look at a 30year old woman in Nigeria twice for marriage.
The earlier you all understand this the better for you.
Unless you are very lucky but no big man marries women that aren't in their youth no more.
I mean who get that time to dey jump from one fertility clinic to the other or seeing your old skin almost everyday in the name of marrying old woman and worse still upon all my money?
Never!!!Better marry that poor guy and brush him up with your funds,else na 35 year spinster go clear you

What exactly are you saying?
Because she is 30 years old, she should marry a broke man right?
Dear OP if a financially stable man wants you, pls give him a chance.
I have seen above 30 ladies getting married to extremely rich guys, make sure you are financially stable yourself.

Love.

fannybaby:
The bible already has the answer. Wives honor your husband and husband love your wife....

It is your husband that is suppose to love you. If the financial stable guy loves you, please go for him.

If the other guy have some change tomorrow, he won't still give you money to run the house

Question :

You are a lady, based on your Nairaland details.

Are you saying a woman cannot love?

I think we are misinterpreting this scripture.

Women love. Marriage requires mutual love, (whatever and however you want to define love) mutual respect and mutual restraint.

Again, we are misinterpreting the scripture.

nitoriolohun:
This is a proof that we still have good ladies. It's very normal to really think about finance in getting married but I will advise you to take it a step further.

According to you no one cares in his family but you guys understand each other perfectly. If I may ask why is he unemployed? Is he looking for a job or wat ? Why not agree with him to learn a skill he can use to sustain himself for a while pending him getting a job or able to establish real big and cut a big cost on the money you have already saved to finance other logistics.

Where is he staying at the moment ? Is he a zealous type? Has he been talking abt his plans and you know the only thing stoping him is money? You know this guy better, you have been with him and you can tell the kind of person he is.

In this life ehn some guys will rise with the help of their woman ( the story of m k o is a good example) same way countless ladies have risen from the help of a man and it shouldn't be a big deal because we are more privileged than ourselves

And again nothing last for ever , do not make a permanent choice because of a temporary situation because with the right support that guy can rise and if you go for a financially stable man today things might go south.

Pray and let God guide you my sister . Shalom !!!

An Advice from a loving father/mother.
Pray for God's guidance.

bluefilm:


Menopause is really a game changer.

Just look at how menopause has humbled a little sense into you.

In your twenties, I doubt if you'dve been reasoning like this.

another wicked boy

Ikjosh04:
The key to his prosperity could be unlocked when he get married.

To me, you can marry him, in as much as the man is reasonable and doing everything possible to break his entanglement with poverty.


It's also important to note Success in life depends more on who you know than what you know.

If so, then Nigeria won't have the highest number of poor people in the world. But then, what do I know? One becomes prosperous when he gets married? You people will learn one day, I am here for it.

gaetano:
It's a tricky situation. All I can say is my sister was in the same stuff. Guy had nothing and he's edo, we are Igbos, my sis loves the guy and he loves her but another ịgbo guy was coming for her hand but she's comfortable with who she bonds with. Initially we didn't support her but since she made up her mind to be with him we had no other choice. She practically financed her wedding herself with little support from her hubby. But today they are very happy together plus he has a job now.

These things are tricky Sha.

I tell you bro this life no balance at all the Same guy she is rejecting will be rich tomorrow while the son of Atiku will treat her like trash and inventually send her out

.

Jamersirwin1971:
My friend sister was into your shoes some years back and , asked for adviced from me . I told her she should marry for love . Yeah money is important but love is much more . Her mother twisted her head that she should go for money . She left a guy she was dating for 5years and started another relationship with one rich guy after two years they both got married . Then 1 year down the line he lost all, frustration set in and she was abused by the husband . The guy she left those years had become a very rich guy .. now my friend sister is divorced and a single parent , she’s back to her mothers house . The ex boy friend isn’t married and with his wife. The ex had nothing when he meet his wife and she supported him and believed in him , na so ex becom multi millionaire and he has been assisting my friend sister till date . With no strings attached . Sometimes life changes and sometimes it doesn’t . Follow your heart and you know where your happiness lies ..

My best friend also was in this shoes and his GF of 3 years left him because he was broke and couldn’t be a man in supporting . She told him she wanted to move on and she meet someone else . He tried to talk her out but she insisted she was leaving and found someone who had funds . Na so she vamoose .. I took my friend 2 years to get healed and he moved on . He meet his now wife both dated for for like 2 years and belle enter , the lady didn’t want to remove and said they should both marry and move on . He was like he didn’t have anything . The lady supported the wedding and footed 80% of it . He struggled after wedding and boom things changed . As I speak to you the money he has in asset and cash no be here .. the ex who left now is divorced and a single parent also . The rich man she married then money no Dey like before . So just go for love because if he truly loves you like you have said you both will succeed and get there.

u go sabi write film die

I'm truly in love with this guy. We are happy together: Love they say is blind, but marriage na eye opener.

"He's everything I want in a man": lol, everything including being broke. sister thats infactuation.

He's 35yrs this yr and I'm 30 already. He wants to get married, but he can't afford it:
Marriage is not for children, if u gabbage in u will gabbage out.

Lately, I buy almost everything for him, to support him:
For how long will u continue pls, u just like the idea of marriage but let me give u a hint. Many wish they had waited while some want out, they want to quit.

Age is not on my side:
Better single than in the wrong relationship.
My Aunt called me stu.pid :
No offence it might sound harsh but ur desperation might be ur undoing.
I have little money I saved to support my wedding as well, but he have nothing:
The hand writing is there on the wall, this will no doubt sully upon return.
My 2cents pls let him get a job he must bring something to the table or else ur love will fizzle out.

The one u love, but must have prospect, no yahoo yahoo and sagging sagging.. I got married on nothing(financially).. today... na smile all the way

LordKO:
One of the things money can't buy is the euphoria gain from sharing closeness in particular and oneness in general with the one(s) who personifies love for you. Love remains the greatest refreshment in life.

So, unless you're economically poor like him, or he's both economically poor and unresourceful, I don't see the reason why both of you cannot marry and overcome economic poverty if both of you truly mutually love each other - as in both of you're in synchronization and mutually have an altruistic interest for each other - and live happily together forever.

From experience over the years, I have come to realize that majority of the poor are poor not just because of lack of capital but because they're unresourceful and lack definiteness of purpose. A resourceful person with definiteness of purpose doesn't need to own millions in cash to establish a multimillion business empire.

[b]Money is very easy to make, all things being equal, but finding that one person who personifies love for you is very hard to find even when other things are equa[/b]l.

Meanwhile, in the absence of love, you can still find fickle happiness with the rich guy even if you don't love him/he doesn't personify love for you, provided that you've greed for money and a greedy woman doesn't repulse him and you truly personify love to him.

Jisos!!!
Money is easy to make

willingheart:
I'm truly in love with this guy. We are happy together, We understand each other perfectly. With him I'm � myself, No pretence. Same with him. He's everything I want in a man, but the problem is that: he doesn't have money. He keeps trying, but things are not working. no job and he's from a family where everyone are on their own facing their challenges, no support.


He's 35yrs this yr and I'm 30 already. He wants to get married, but he can't afford it.

Lately, I buy almost everything for him, to support him.


Marrying the one you love or the one that's financially stable. What's your advice and opinion?

This is how people perpetuate poverty in the home of the highest number of poor people globally. Tomorrow, same man and this woman will procreate like rabbits; next tomorrow, they would blame one innocent Buhari.

Well, they says love conquers all but romance without finance might destroy ur marriage at the long run. I have this same case last two years ago with my present wife. She was a federal government staff with a good salary but I was a teacher with a masters n my salary was 24k but we really love each other. There was this other guy that engaged her also in 2018 n would have married her but she never loved the guy. She just wanted to fulfil all righteousness. The button line is that romance without finance will make your marriage have a lot of hiccups. If you want to sacrifice for the guy,just like others have said. You have to check his prospect in life,his vision, his quest for better things like hustling etc coz if you want to rate love above money in marriage,it might end in Nigerians films. Finance and romance are very very important in 21st century marriage.

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Thanks for reading

Ikjosh04:
The key to his prosperity could be unlocked when he get married.

To me, you can marry him, in as much as the man is reasonable and doing everything possible to break his entanglement with poverty.

Btw, no where In the Bible was it written to marry who you love.

The scripture says we should love who we marry.

Love is not feelings or emotions.

Love simply means commitment, passion, pleasure and above all sacrifice!


The distance between dreams and reality is called action and as long as anyone is intentional about their progess in life, the breakthrough will come.

It's also important to note Success in life depends more on who you know than what you know.

So you are saying in essence that we should develop more relationships than develop knowledge?.... I don't agree with that line...

dominique:
As much as it's important to marry the one you love, money is very important in running a marriage especially when kids come in. All that love you have for each other will automatically fly out the window when bills start piling up and you start running into debt. Some people lack ambition, have zero hustling spirit and are very complacent. They just go with the flow. If your boyfriend is that kind of person, just free him except you're ok handling the family expenses when you get married.

You don't know the meaning of the word love. What you described above negates the concept and it's pure self centredness.

My sister I am advising you with love pls run and don’t look back you won’t regret it.

If at 35years he cannot sort little bills my dear he is a time bomb and if you dare marry him the suffering increases after childbirth

I am a talking from experience and that’s where I still am, the love don clear for my eyes, frustration left right center

You fit give an money sef to start business he will not be able to give account of the funds.

I am not entirely against supporting a man but he should be able to do the basic whilst planning marriage then u can handle the major bills

In my case dude can’t do anything I pay water, gas,light, school fees, feeding, gotv, house rent, compound contribution my dear everything down to matches and detergent it is pathetic

He keeps reassuring and promising and my kid is four years he still Dey promise

Pls don’t left desperation make u enter a worse situation

Give him time to pick himself, get sth going for him, you observe if he has vision and is hardworking then you make a decision

I still Dey paddle my canoe

What if financial stable man broke tomorrow?
What if no job finds work on shell?
No one know tomorrow...Onyemaechi
I'm a testimony thanks to my wife.No house No Money No Job BUT Rides 2 cars and have stable cash flow.If you love him start planning for wedding God will surely show you a helper.Shalom

fannybaby:
The bible already has the answer. Wives honor your husband and husband love your wife....

It is your husband that is suppose to love you. If the financial stable guy loves you, please go for him.

If the other guy have some change tomorrow, he won't still give you money to run the house

don't be blinded by your circumstances! How do you know for sure that he wouldn't provide when he eventually gets the money? Money is very important in marriage but don't you think that nothing supercedes a peaceful marriage? I'm not going to come here to tell her what to do, because it's her cross and she must face whatever comes out of her decision. Please let's not be too money conscious

This is an elderly issue

willingheart:
I'm truly in love with this guy. We are happy together, We understand each other perfectly. With him I'm � myself, No pretence. Same with him. He's everything I want in a man, but the problem is that: he doesn't have money. He keeps trying, but things are not working. no job and he's from a family where everyone are on their own facing their challenges, no support.


He's 35yrs this yr and I'm 30 already. He wants to get married, but he can't afford it.

Lately, I buy almost everything for him, to support him.

Age is not on my side, yet the only man I love and that loves me can't afford to marry me. If we're married, it will be easy for me to share everything with him without my family members putting eyes.

My Aunt called me stu.pid that i should accept a financially stable man instead of being with a man who can not afford to take care of me.
I have little money I saved to support my wedding as well, but he have nothing.

Married people in the house please help.
I want to have direction plan for my life coming year.

Marrying the one you love or the one that's financially stable. What's your advice and opinion?

Marry the man you love bcoz the substance from that is all that would ever count.
As per financial stability, gauge his capacity. Does he have the intellectual acumen and the character(emotional pillar) for financial sustainability? If he does, then the issue of financial stability is both your responsibilities and not a validation for him alone.

addictiv:
Reading comments here show that poverty has really altered the mindset of many Nigerians. One thing I have learnt is in life there re no right or wrong decisions, you make a decision and put in the work everyday to make it the right decision for you.

Wisdom...

This story is similar to someone I know. Pls don’t marry him oh. The guy is jobless with no foresight because of his egocentric nature. Friends and family wants to help him but he keeps saying he can do it all alone. Run as fast as your leg can carry. Even this person will not do house chores and take care of the baby. You will slave alone. The only thing he knows how to do is speak grammar which I am sure will translate to good love and sweet notes. Na suffer head for the woman who will eventually marry him. Can you believe he can’t clean or cook in his father’s house where he currently stays. If it is this person, pls stay away, he needs to fix himself.

Sorry I had to put it this way.

Questions to ask urself are these
1: Are u materialistic?
2: Does your love boyfriend have potentials that have not been rewarded yet?
3: Will u be Happy with love of the person who knows about you or the love of a person who u don't love
4: When men don't provide for their family they tend to be irritated by any action of the wife, are u ready to face that with ur loverboy?
5: When the rich starts misbehaving because u were in love with another person and he just forced u put and still don't trust u, will you be able to take such?


Finally, don't take the situation too personal. Study these questions and pick ur husband