Is not you that suppose to love a man,a man suppose to love while you submit to him so get d gist and don't make that mistake,and he has to have something a least to show you,do put your self in trouble bcs you will regret it.

TransAtlanticEx:
The real question is,
Are financially stable men looking for you to marry or to sleep with?
Before you insult me or broke shame me,pleaseknow that I am very very comfortable and as such wouldn't look at a 30year old woman in Nigeria twice for marriage.
The earlier you all understand this the better for you.
Unless you are very lucky but no big man marries women that aren't in their youth no more.
I mean who get that time to dey jump from one fertility clinic to the other or seeing your old skin almost everyday in the name of marrying old woman and worse still upon all my money?
Never!!!Better marry that poor guy and brush him up with your funds,else na 35 year spinster go clear you

mstchew

ojuu4u:


Let me take you back to own story.

A lady who is cook married guy who marry final year student.

Final year student is still Young, at most under 30, even thou he was undergraduate, did u knw so many legitimate stuff, he was into that was bringing money? My friend" son bought Lexus car(legitimate income o) before he was posted to youth service.

Comparing it with 36 year old guy of ND older who refused to struggle to bring income but wholly depend of woman as his shield

I

I clearly mentioned that the guy in my experience was earning nothing when the cook married him. Infact let me add to it for clarity sake, so that you would be aware, he had no direction at the time, he started with teaching and kept on progressing till he became a professor, all the time being funded by his wife.

Also, The OP clearly mentioned that the guy in question has been trying and failing at different ventures which shows that he is not lazy, just that he has met some bad luck in life. We are quick to label people lazy and unproductive just like our president forgetting that in life despite all the hard work, the environment we find ourselves and luck is sometimes a factor. Someone who has not made it in life at 35, can not be labelled a failure except he chooses to give up. I can never call anyone who is still trying
new things and pursuing his or her dreams a failure. That guy has not chosen to give up that is why he is not shying away from getting married to her knowing fully well that she is in a better financial state than he is. With her little financial and emotional support he can do better.

If he tells himself (what 90% of nairaland is suggesting), that she is not in his league and that he should keep waiting for a breakthrough, it might come, but it might also not come.

Tell me, if you were drowning in an a ocean and calling for help and the only person who stretches her hand for help is a lady, would you say that because you are a man, who is supposed to be stonger therefore divinely ordained to save her and hence, you would reject the help and keep swimming indefinitely to your safety?

manos:



I clearly mentioned that the guy in my experience was earning nothing when the cook married him. Infact let me add to it for clarity sake, so that you would be aware, he had no direction at the time, he started with teaching and kept on progressing till he became a professor, all the time being funded by his wife.

Also, The OP clearly mentioned that the guy in question has been trying and failing at different ventures which shows that he is not lazy, just that he has met some bad luck in life. We are quick to label people lazy and unproductive just like our president forgetting that in life despite all the hard work, the environment we find ourselves and luck is sometimes a factor. Someone who has not made it in life at 35, can not be labelled a failure except he chooses to give up. I can never call anyone who is still trying
new things and pursuing his or her dreams a failure. That guy has not chosen to give up that is why he is not shying away from getting married to her knowing fully well that she is in a better financial state than he is. With her little financial and emotional support he can do better.

If he tells himself (what 90% of nairaland is suggesting), that she is not in his league and that he should keep waiting for a breakthrough, it might come, but it might also not come.

Tell me, if you were drowning in an a ocean and calling for help and the only person who stretches her hand for help is a lady, would you say that because you are a man, who is supposed to be stonger therefore divinely ordained to save her and hence, you would reject the help and keep swimming indefinitely to your safety?

Oga let me tell you reality but may bitter, this life is a race, if you are the middle of the race, you have no time to waste if you want to catch up at the end, the girl in question had tried note than enof for the guy, since tins refused to turn its better to move on, time wait for nobody Mr man

ojuu4u:


Oga let me tell you reality but may bitter, this life is a race, if you are the middle of the race, you have no time to waste if you want to catch up at the end, the girl in question had tried note than enof for the guy, since tins refused to turn its better to move on, time wait for nobody Mr man

The problem is that you view life as a competition between your peers. But relationship is not a competition, It is a team sport.

As long as you are in a relationship you are team player.

View it as a relay race instead. you run your lap and pass the baton to your partner, your concern is not if your partner is running as fast as you are while you are running. You focus on your run and do your best while it is your turn. Then pass the baton to your partner and cheer them on to also do their best, the may fall but what matters is that they get up and keep running and moving forward, while you stand by and cheer them on.

manos:



The problem is that you view life as a competition between your peers. But relationship is not a competition, It is a team sport.

As long as you are in a relationship you are team player.

View it as a relay race instead. you run your lap and pass the baton to your partner, your concern is not if your partner is running as fast as you are while you are running. You focus on your run and do your best while it is your turn. Then pass the baton to your partner and cheer them on to also do their best, the may fall but what matters is that they get up and keep running and moving forward, while you stand by and cheer them on.

Dating different from married oga, and on many occasions, women fall victims, if you dnt look bf u leap you shall regret it, wen the hand clock can't reversible again

jaxxy:


I am a sucker for “genuine” love bt I’m very practical also so... First I have a few questions.

How long have u been with him and he’s been struggling??

How long has he been struggling and what concrete attempts has he made all this while? U must evaluate this to be able to either help him or make a proper decision.

Does he have a concrete plan any plan he’s working on??

Is he lazy, laid back and enjoying u just help him while he keeps giving excuses??

What’s his biggest achievements sofar b4 or while with u?

Is he ambitious or just a lover boy living in a fools paradise?

Have u tried to get him help or a job? Has he handled anything significant b4 career wise and how did he fair on it??

Love is sweet bt it doesn’t pay bills. U must know when it’s worth it and when it’s not.

Don’t let those lazy and greedy goldiggers gals and guys tell u rubbish. U must evaluate the situation properly and practically and decide. U may have to leave him and u may have to stay.

U cud leave and then he blows.. what wud u now say?? My advice will be u give him space to grow while being there more as a supportive frnd than a galfrnd and see if he picks up. Sometimes emotional baggage hinder growth and focus.

People advicing u on money 1st are only half correct and not even 70% right. What stops u urself from being Rich?? Must u marry sm1 rich to be stable?? I completely disagree with that mentality.

Always marry for the right reasons cos it’s for a lifetime. Money isn’t the only reason bt just one of many reasons. Goodluck.

You have said it all. You are full of wisdom